Podcast Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 12-09-25 – Entertainment Drill - TUE - Touch Tune Jukebox Released Annual Most Played Lists
Date: December 9, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg ("Dick Laser Guy" / Main Host), Brett Vesely, Brady Bogen, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This segment of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is an irreverent, fast-paced “Entertainment Drill,” blending pop culture news, irreverent banter, and music industry updates. The main focus is on Touch Tunes’ annual music play statistics, along with playful discussion about entertainment memorabilia auctions, Time magazine’s "Entertainer of the Year," and plenty of the show's signature sarcasm.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dick Laser Gag Gifts & Studio Banter

• The crew riff on the “Dick Laser” novelty pen, received as a promotional Christmas gift from fans.

• Each host jokes about stocking stuffers and wonders what upgrades the "Dick Laser guys" could possibly provide next.

  • Memorable Moment:
    “You can get yourself one laser, five dicks, a black light and a flashlight. I love it because it's a little light pen... the other side is an actually really bright flashlight and a black light and a normal laser pointer.”
    —John Holmberg, 02:37

• Side chatter includes fictional scenarios of teens receiving these as Christmas gifts and teasing among the crew.

2. Copper Blues Pre-Party Cancelled

• The anticipated Copper Blues pre-party for “Homburg After Dark” is canceled due to the venue being privately rented out, reportedly for $60,000.

  • “The pre party thing's pointless at this deal because evidently somebody rented out Copper Blues next door. And you're not allowed in there. So you just go straight.”
    —John Holmberg, 03:50

• The crew assure listeners "Homburg After Dark" will still happen, with doors opening at 9:15pm.

3. Self-Defense Tangent and Show Sponsor Shoutout

• Discussion veers into the show's sponsor, ReactDefense.com, which offers tactical training for real-world attacks—ranging from Canadian snowblower incidents to machete attacks.
  • “Your initial feeling with a machete attack is to put your hands up and block the machete. Terrible, terrible idea. You gotta attack the…destroy the operator. You get inside that thing and you start throwing elbows into noses.”
    —John Holmberg, 05:29

4. Entertainment News Highlights

• Auction Madness:
  • Will Ferrell’s “Elf” costume auctioned for $319,000
  • Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones fedora: $437,000
  • Boba Fett’s blaster from Star Wars: $613,000
    • “Boba Fett's blaster from Empire Strikes Back netted $613,000.”
      —Entertainment News Host, 06:36
• Time Magazine Honors Leonardo DiCaprio
  • DiCaprio named “Entertainer of the Year,” prompting jokes about his lifestyle and yacht named after Greta Thunberg.
    • “He’s been entertaining a lot of ladies on that yacht. The environmental yacht. I believe it's called the Thunberg."
      —John Holmberg, 07:51

5. Touch Tunes Jukebox Annual Charts Discussion

• Top Artists and Albums of the Year:

  • Artist of the Year: Chapel Roan (general confusion/derision from Holmberg)
  • Album of the Year: Morgan Wallen’s "I’m the Problem"

• Genre Breakdown (Most Played in 2025):

  • Country: 38%
  • Rock: 24%
  • Rap/Hip-Hop: 14%
  • Pop: 11%
    • “Country rock. Is it rock? Good.”
      —John Holmberg, 08:30

• Top Rock Bands on Jukeboxes:

  • AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Nickelback, Rolling Stones
  • Commentary on Nickelback’s enduring popularity and Fleetwood Mac fashion in the studio.

• Most Played Rock Songs:

  • “Simple Man” (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
  • “Fat Bottom Girls” (Queen)
  • “Rockstar” (Nickelback)
  • “Brown Eyed Girl” (Van Morrison)
  • “Higher” (Creed)
    • “Nickelback snuck in there. And John's wearing a Fleetwood Mac shirt today. Not me, the other John Gordon.”
      —John Holmberg, 08:53

• Spotify Recaps and Generational Listening

  • Hosts share their personal Spotify Wrapped stats

    • John Holmberg's account estimates his musical age to be 24.
    • “My Spotify end of the year thing came out and I’m very young. They said my age, if they were guessing by what I listened to, is 24.”
      —John Holmberg, 09:16

  • Top artist for Holmberg: Royal Blood; Brady’s top song: "Celebrate Me Home" (Kenny Loggins)

    • “Spotify profile came back and said, you are Kenny Loggins. You're 68.”
      —John Holmberg (re: Brady), 10:15

• Top Rap/Hip-Hop Jukebox Songs:

  • Notable: Eminem & Nate Dogg, “Bartender” (T-Pain & Akon), “In Da Club” (50 Cent), “Broadway Girls” (Lil Durk feat. Morgan Wallen), Sexy Red
    • Discussion on crossover tracks and newer artists breaking into traditional jukebox play cycles.
    • “Sexy Red has got a big ass and bright red…If Ronald McDonald had a fat ass. That's Sexy Red.”
      —John Holmberg, 11:19

6. Listener Interaction and Jokes

• Teasing listeners who demand to know whether contest tickets are for pit or lawn seats, calling them “ungrateful.”

  • “What a jerk. I know. You're giving me tickets to, like, 30 or 40 or 50 shows for next year. Pit or lawn? What am I doing here?”
    —John Holmberg, 11:59

• Premature end as the segment wraps up with signature irreverence and quick goodbyes.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "What can I need from you that I don't? When you've given me the dick laser pen for free?"
  —John Holmberg, 02:14

• "Copper Blues pre party was evidently just a horrible lie. ... Somebody rented it out. ... So our pre parties can't sold. There isn't one at all."
  —John Holmberg, 03:34

• "You gotta attack the ... destroy the operator. You get inside that thing and you start throwing elbows into noses. And they teach you how to do it and you're smiling while you do. It's a blast."
  —John Holmberg, 05:29

• "Leonardo DiCaprio has been named Entertainer of the Year by Time magazine... He's been entertaining a lot of ladies on that yacht. The environmental yacht. I believe it's called the Thunberg."
  —John Holmberg, 07:44 & 07:51

• "Nickelback snuck in there. And John's wearing a Fleetwood Max shirt today. Not me, the other John Gordon."
  —John Holmberg, 08:53

• "My Spotify end of the year thing came out and I'm very young. According to Spotify. ... They said my age, if they were guessing by what I listened to, is 24."
  —John Holmberg, 09:16

• "Sexy Red has got a big ass and bright red... If Ronald McDonald had a fat ass. That's Sexy Red."
  —John Holmberg, 11:19

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:09] – “Dick Laser” gag gift segment
• [03:34] – Copper Blues pre-party cancellation explanation
• [05:29] – Self-defense (machete) tangent
• [06:07] – Entertainment news: auctions of iconic movie props
• [07:37] – Time magazine’s “Entertainer of the Year”
• [08:06] – Touch Tunes Jukebox lists, artist and album of the year
• [09:16] – Spotify Wrapped stats for the crew
• [10:16] – Top Jukebox Rap/Hip-Hop songs and crew reactions
• [11:19] – Sexy Red description/joke and “jukebox song” reactions

Tone & Style

True to Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, the segment is raucous, sarcastic, and provocatively playful. The hosts riff freely off one another, blending pop culture news with personal anecdotes, all while poking fun at both themselves and the broader entertainment industry.

This summary covers all major topics, memorable jokes, and running commentary, capturing the spirited, edgy humor Holmberg’s Morning Sickness fans expect.