Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode Date: December 9, 2025
Main Theme:
A humorous and biting take on current sports drama, a Tempe bar under fire for underage drinking busts, the nostalgia and mechanics of fake IDs, and a critical look at prison policies cutting off handwritten letters. The hosts mix irreverent banter and sharp wit as they dissect these hot-button Arizona stories.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. NFL Drama – Raiders, Broncos & "Point Spreadgate"

[03:30 – 11:18]

• Suspicion Over Raiders’ Game Ending:
  John and the crew discuss the NFL’s brewing scandal after a controversial end to the Raiders-Broncos game, where a last-minute field goal affected betting outcomes.
  • John questions: “Was there any reason for that field goal? The spread was 7.5, the field goal hits 7, and then the game ends. There was no reason for it, and so many people were mad.” (04:04)
  • The NFL’s relationship with gambling is scrutinized amid new technology, with John warning, “It’s inevitable that eventually a game gets fixed… when a full sports book is in your hand at all times...” (04:48)
• Olympic Gambling Risks:
  The crew riff on potential Olympic scandals, noting that obscure sports will inevitably become targets for match-fixing because “who’s going to notice if the American [archer] has an off day?” (07:25)

Notable Quote

“Even my phone knows that these people [the Harbaughs] are miserable, horrible human beings.” – John, [02:20]

“It’s inevitable that eventually a game gets fixed... with a full sports book in your hand at all times.” – John, [04:48]

2. Tempe Tavern: Underage Drinking Sting & Fake IDs

[11:18 – 24:11]

• Tempe Tavern’s PR Problem:
  After two major police raids catching hundreds of underage drinkers, Tempe Tavern’s statement that they “take underage drinking very seriously” is met with mockery:
  • “Yes, you do. You most certainly do. And you’re great at it.” – John, [13:25]
  • The tavern blames police for not notifying them of the stings. John responds: “The reason I murdered my wife, sir, is because I didn’t know. A cop didn’t tell me I couldn’t.”
• Fake ID Epidemic:
  The hosts reminisce about their own fake ID exploits and describe the high sophistication of modern fake IDs:
  • “One of the kids just had a crayon and a piece of paper that said ‘I am 21’ and drew a picture of himself from Missouri. That’s pretty neat.” – John, [15:35]
  • "At Tempe Tavern, looking around I'm like, can I help you with your homework? Ooh, long division. You need a beer. This is great." – John, [19:34]
  • Bulk fake IDs are the norm for college students, sharing personal anecdotes about how easy and “legit” today’s fakes are.
• Bar Liability & Responsibility:
  The hosts debate the extent of bar responsibility, with universal agreement:
  • “If a kid gets in with a fake ID… that’s the bar’s fault.” (15:39)
  • Satirical suggestions abound about Tempe Tavern’s priorities and business aims.

Notable Quotes

"We here at the Tempe Tavern take underage drinking very seriously. Yes, you do. You most certainly do. And you're great at it." – John, [13:25]

"I want to go to the Tempe Tavern. If it wasn't for getting arrested for leering at youth, I'd love to drink there. That place takes underage drinking very seriously." – John, [17:13]

"They should just have a set of giant balls you tap as you walk in, like you're playing a Notre Dame football game." – John, [23:17]

3. Fake ID Nostalgia & Techniques

[17:26 – 20:38]

• The hosts recall swapping stories from their bartending days and the creative (and often ridiculous) methods teens used to get past age checks.
  • Testing patrons with questions about astrological signs matched to fake birthdays as a way to outsmart fake IDs.
  • The evolution from crude, ironed ID overlays to today’s scannable, high-fidelity fakes.

Notable Quote

“The days of the peeling up ID are way gone, though… Ours was just peel up an old one and put a new picture on and then glue it. No, you ironed it. There was a lot of burn marks on IDs.” – John, [20:20]

4. Satire & Social Commentary: Responsibility, Policing, and Irony

[21:28 – 23:50]

• The hosts satirize the logic of bar owners and criminals who expect to be tipped off about investigations, poking fun at the absurdity of wanting a “heads up” before raids or arrests.
• The parallel is drawn between religious surveillance (“if you know you're being watched, you're probably not going to do terrible things” – John, [22:10]) and bar stings.
• Jokes about Tempe Tavern catering to kids, “Do you have high chairs? Of course we got high chairs… We're a bar. Come on in.” [23:50]

5. Arizona Prisons Ban Handwritten Letters

[25:00 – 27:59]

• News story about Arizona jails ending physical mail due to drugs being smuggled, now moving to tablets/digital correspondence.
• Emotional comments from a mother (Veronica) are met with harsh critique by the hosts:
  • “Nobody did that but you. You cut off communication between your son and I whenever he committed the crime or when you went to jail.” – John, [25:56]
  • “You’re not owed anything.”
• The hosts dissect the concept of "losing a personal touch," questioning whether those convicted of serious crimes deserve such considerations.

Notable Quote

"We shouldn’t be punished for a few bad apples."
"You’re all bad apples. You’re in jail." – [26:30]

6. Policing, Drug Law Sarcasm & Africa Food Aid Tangents

[28:24 – 32:13]

• Amusing but darkly cynical idea from a cop friend: lace all drugs with fentanyl and legalize, letting “the problem solve itself.”
• Stories of drone drops for prisoners – both for drugs and extravagant food like steak and lobster.
• Extended riff about food aid to Africa – how warlords always end up with charitable supplies – spins off into a satirical take on Ethiopian restaurants and cultural perceptions ("Would you like a side of flies?").

Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• John’s phone autocorrects ‘Harbaugh’ to ‘garbage’: [02:20]
• "We take underage drinking very seriously. Yes, you do. You most certainly do." [13:25]
• Describing fake IDs so elaborate that “he could travel with it” [20:20]
• Bar satire: “Do you have high chairs?” [23:50]
• Mother laments new prison letter rule, hosts respond: “You’re all bad apples. You’re in jail.” [26:30]
• Cynical ‘fentanyl nuke’ solution to the drug problem [28:24]
• Africa aid riff: "Would you like a side of flies?" [32:13]

Overall Tone & Takeaway

A signature blend of Arizona news, sports cynicism, and gleeful irreverence. The hosts laugh their way through moral gray areas, skewering hypocrisy, and finding the dark comedic angle on nearly any topic. If you missed the episode, you missed everything from pointed NFL gambling conspiracies, scathing bar owner critiques, shock-value parental advice for jailbirds, and plenty of biting social satire. But you won’t miss the hosts’ relentless wit – or the unmistakable Arizona flavor.