Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 12-11-25 Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy Dale Hellestrae – PT2

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent segment, John Holmberg and the crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo) host former Dallas Cowboys lineman Dale Hellestrae for their weekly banter-heavy NFL picks. The group dives into playful debates over social clubs, pokes fun at each other’s personal lives, and provides sharp commentary on football, aging athletes, and the oddities of everyday life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Italian American Club Drink Pricing (00:49–02:07)

• The episode opens with Holmberg bemusedly complaining about the Italian American club's practice of charging more for drinks if you're not Italian.
  • "Five bucks for a drink for me and a dollar for an Italian." — John Holmberg (01:41)
  • The crew jokes about the fairness of linking prices to heritage, riffing on potential legal gray areas and drawing parallels to similar social clubs.
• The overall sentiment: tongue-in-cheek outrage and mock solutions, such as, "I should get 70% off at IKEA if that's the case." (A, 02:05)

2. Wives, Weight, and Marriage Jokes (02:07–04:17)

• Casual chitchat segues into Dale discussing his wife's weight after 37 years of marriage, noting she's only gained three pounds.
  • "She's three pounds heavier than the day we got married. Now what are we gonna do about that, Johnny?" — Dale Hellestrae (02:54)
• The banter turns self-deprecating and hyperbolic, with the hosts teasing about gym memberships and treadmills as Christmas gifts:
  • "Three pounds heavier than the day you married. Do you even recognize her?" — Holmberg (03:01)
  • "Man, how do you deal with it? Give me some advice, John." — Dale (03:48)
• Joking solutions include buying a thigh master or a Cordell & Cordell divorce attorney meme.

3. Ticket Offers & Communication Styles (04:17–07:11)

• Dale relates a story about leaving Holmberg a voicemail offering Chiefs vs. Raiders tickets and the resulting confusion over communication preferences.
  • Holmberg jokes about Dale’s message: "Call me F-Wad—probably not going to go over too well with your overweight wife." (06:01)
• The conversation covers logistics—game times and hotel rooms—with more mutual ribbing.
• Discussion about whether Holmberg can accept, depending on the Steelers' playoff prospects.

4. NFL Week 15 Picks & Football Talk (08:09–10:48)

• Rapid-fire picks for Week 15:
  • Bears vs. Browns — Dale chooses Bears (09:16)
  • Cowboys vs. Vikings — Dale picks Cowboys, in Dallas (09:29)
  • Bengals vs. Ravens — Back-and-forth, with Dale leaning Bengals, Holmberg picks Ravens (09:47, 09:55)
  • Steelers vs. Dolphins — Holmberg gives a cautious Steelers nod, but admits Miami is dangerous (10:10)
  • Memorable jab: "Philip Rivers is back. He's 88 years old. I hate when old people do well in professional sports." — Holmberg (08:19)
• Discussion of their ongoing bet (currently at $328) and betting strategy: "Let's do a safe [bet]." (10:44)

5. Aging in the NFL & Physical Decline (11:09–12:19)

• Dale shares what it’s like to return to NFL action in one’s 40s:
  • "My legs were like jello... I'm running in quicksand." — Dale (11:31)
• Comparison with NFL peers experiencing the same loss of speed and reaction, with a humorous anecdote from friend Eric Hill.
  • Key quote: "Not ‘you lost a step’—you lost your step." (12:10)

6. Quarterbacks, Coaches, and Faces You Love to Hate (12:19–13:23)

• Quick-hit opinions on various NFL personalities:
  • Defensive critique of the Colts’ offensive line, referencing quarterback injuries (12:28)
  • Light-hearted mockery of Daniel Jones’ looks: "He looks like every Netflix killer ever." — Holmberg (12:37)
  • Riff about which NFL faces are the "most punchable" — Sam Darnold, J.J. McCarthy, and (begrudgingly) coach Sean Payton.

7. Foot and Thumb Importance (13:36–15:16)

• The group humorously ponders what life would be like if Sean Payton lost his toes.
  • Holmberg wishes: "Please let Sean Payton's toes fall off in a weird boating accident." (13:36)
• Talk shifts to the anatomical importance of big toes and thumbs, evolving into stories of home injuries and how difficult basic tasks become without them.
  • "Try it today. You're gonna make a mess." — Holmberg, urging listeners to try wiping with their non-dominant hand (15:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You guys are getting away with murder over there. Hey, don’t like it, I should get 70% off at IKEA if that’s the case.”
  — Holmberg, casting mock outrage at Italian club pricing (02:05)

• “Three pounds heavier than the day you married. Do you even recognize her?”
  — Holmberg, joking with Dale about marriage and weight (03:01)

• “Call me F-Wad—probably not going to go over too well with your overweight wife.”
  — Holmberg, poking fun at Dale’s voicemail style (06:01)

• “Philip Rivers is back. He's 88 years old. I hate when old people do well in professional sports. I absolutely hate it. It means something's wrong with the game.”
  — Holmberg, about aging NFL players (08:19)

• "My legs were like jello... I'm running in quicksand."
  — Dale, on returning to football at forty (11:31)

• "He looks like every Netflix killer ever... Somebody puts—amazing."
  — Holmberg, describing Daniel Jones (12:37)

• “Please let Sean Payton's toes fall off in a weird boating accident.”
  — Holmberg, making a facetious prayer against a disliked coach (13:36)

• “Try it today. You're gonna make a mess.”
  — Holmberg, challenging listeners to attempt awkward bathroom tasks (15:02)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:49–02:07: Italian American Club pricing debate
• 02:07–04:17: Jokes on wives, marriage, and weight
• 04:17–07:11: Ticket offer story and texting vs. calling
• 08:09–10:48: Week 15 NFL picks and analysis
• 11:09–12:19: On aging and returning to the NFL
• 12:19–13:23: Faces you love to hate in the NFL
• 13:36–15:16: Losing toes and living without thumbs

Tone & Style

The episode is rich in sarcasm, playful jabs, and the quick-witted banter familiar to regular listeners. The hosts maintain a lighthearted, irreverent attitude throughout, seamlessly blending sports discussion with comedic asides and personal anecdotes.

This summary captures all essential content topics — from odd club rules, marriage humor, and NFL predictions, to the realities of aging in sports and life’s little physical challenges — with speaker attributions and timestamps for easy navigation.