12-11-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae - PT2 - Dale Would Have To Pay More For Drinks At Italian American Center - Picks For Week 15 NFL Games

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 12-11-25 Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy Dale Hellestrae – PT2

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent segment, John Holmberg and the crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo) host former Dallas Cowboys lineman Dale Hellestrae for their weekly banter-heavy NFL picks. The group dives into playful debates over social clubs, pokes fun at each other’s personal lives, and provides sharp commentary on football, aging athletes, and the oddities of everyday life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Italian American Club Drink Pricing (00:49–02:07)

• The episode opens with Holmberg bemusedly complaining about the Italian American club's practice of charging more for drinks if you're not Italian.
  • "Five bucks for a drink for me and a dollar for an Italian." — John Holmberg (01:41)
  • The crew jokes about the fairness of linking prices to heritage, riffing on potential legal gray areas and drawing parallels to similar social clubs.
• The overall sentiment: tongue-in-cheek outrage and mock solutions, such as, "I should get 70% off at IKEA if that's the case." (A, 02:05)

2. Wives, Weight, and Marriage Jokes (02:07–04:17)

• Casual chitchat segues into Dale discussing his wife's weight after 37 years of marriage, noting she's only gained three pounds.
  • "She's three pounds heavier than the day we got married. Now what are we gonna do about that, Johnny?" — Dale Hellestrae (02:54)
• The banter turns self-deprecating and hyperbolic, with the hosts teasing about gym memberships and treadmills as Christmas gifts:
  • "Three pounds heavier than the day you married. Do you even recognize her?" — Holmberg (03:01)
  • "Man, how do you deal with it? Give me some advice, John." — Dale (03:48)
• Joking solutions include buying a thigh master or a Cordell & Cordell divorce attorney meme.

3. Ticket Offers & Communication Styles (04:17–07:11)

• Dale relates a story about leaving Holmberg a voicemail offering Chiefs vs. Raiders tickets and the resulting confusion over communication preferences.
  • Holmberg jokes about Dale’s message: "Call me F-Wad—probably not going to go over too well with your overweight wife." (06:01)
• The conversation covers logistics—game times and hotel rooms—with more mutual ribbing.
• Discussion about whether Holmberg can accept, depending on the Steelers' playoff prospects.

4. NFL Week 15 Picks & Football Talk (08:09–10:48)

• Rapid-fire picks for Week 15:
  • Bears vs. Browns — Dale chooses Bears (09:16)
  • Cowboys vs. Vikings — Dale picks Cowboys, in Dallas (09:29)
  • Bengals vs. Ravens — Back-and-forth, with Dale leaning Bengals, Holmberg picks Ravens (09:47, 09:55)
  • Steelers vs. Dolphins — Holmberg gives a cautious Steelers nod, but admits Miami is dangerous (10:10)
  • Memorable jab: "Philip Rivers is back. He's 88 years old. I hate when old people do well in professional sports." — Holmberg (08:19)
• Discussion of their ongoing bet (currently at $328) and betting strategy: "Let's do a safe [bet]." (10:44)

5. Aging in the NFL & Physical Decline (11:09–12:19)

• Dale shares what it’s like to return to NFL action in one’s 40s:
  • "My legs were like jello... I'm running in quicksand." — Dale (11:31)
• Comparison with NFL peers experiencing the same loss of speed and reaction, with a humorous anecdote from friend Eric Hill.
  • Key quote: "Not ‘you lost a step’—you lost your step." (12:10)

6. Quarterbacks, Coaches, and Faces You Love to Hate (12:19–13:23)

• Quick-hit opinions on various NFL personalities:
  • Defensive critique of the Colts’ offensive line, referencing quarterback injuries (12:28)
  • Light-hearted mockery of Daniel Jones’ looks: "He looks like every Netflix killer ever." — Holmberg (12:37)
  • Riff about which NFL faces are the "most punchable" — Sam Darnold, J.J. McCarthy, and (begrudgingly) coach Sean Payton.

7. Foot and Thumb Importance (13:36–15:16)

• The group humorously ponders what life would be like if Sean Payton lost his toes.
  • Holmberg wishes: "Please let Sean Payton's toes fall off in a weird boating accident." (13:36)
• Talk shifts to the anatomical importance of big toes and thumbs, evolving into stories of home injuries and how difficult basic tasks become without them.
  • "Try it today. You're gonna make a mess." — Holmberg, urging listeners to try wiping with their non-dominant hand (15:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You guys are getting away with murder over there. Hey, don’t like it, I should get 70% off at IKEA if that’s the case.”
  — Holmberg, casting mock outrage at Italian club pricing (02:05)

• “Three pounds heavier than the day you married. Do you even recognize her?”
  — Holmberg, joking with Dale about marriage and weight (03:01)

• “Call me F-Wad—probably not going to go over too well with your overweight wife.”
  — Holmberg, poking fun at Dale’s voicemail style (06:01)

• “Philip Rivers is back. He's 88 years old. I hate when old people do well in professional sports. I absolutely hate it. It means something's wrong with the game.”
  — Holmberg, about aging NFL players (08:19)

• "My legs were like jello... I'm running in quicksand."
  — Dale, on returning to football at forty (11:31)

• "He looks like every Netflix killer ever... Somebody puts—amazing."
  — Holmberg, describing Daniel Jones (12:37)

• “Please let Sean Payton's toes fall off in a weird boating accident.”
  — Holmberg, making a facetious prayer against a disliked coach (13:36)

• “Try it today. You're gonna make a mess.”
  — Holmberg, challenging listeners to attempt awkward bathroom tasks (15:02)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:49–02:07: Italian American Club pricing debate
• 02:07–04:17: Jokes on wives, marriage, and weight
• 04:17–07:11: Ticket offer story and texting vs. calling
• 08:09–10:48: Week 15 NFL picks and analysis
• 11:09–12:19: On aging and returning to the NFL
• 12:19–13:23: Faces you love to hate in the NFL
• 13:36–15:16: Losing toes and living without thumbs

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Tone & Style

The episode is rich in sarcasm, playful jabs, and the quick-witted banter familiar to regular listeners. The hosts maintain a lighthearted, irreverent attitude throughout, seamlessly blending sports discussion with comedic asides and personal anecdotes.

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This summary captures all essential content topics — from odd club rules, marriage humor, and NFL predictions, to the realities of aging in sports and life’s little physical challenges — with speaker attributions and timestamps for easy navigation.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

The old method of treatment for a.

[C]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[A]

Did you know, Brett, that the Italian American club charges extra for drinks if you're not Italian?

[C]

That's the way it should be.

[A]

That is not the way that situation. How are they getting away with.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You didn't know that? I just found that out. Hey, you don't like it, don't go.

[C]

Really? If you're not Italian, why would you go?

[A]

Well, they. They let. You can be a member and not be Italian.

[C]

Why would you want that?

[A]

That'd be.

[C]

Why do I want to be a member of Augusta?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

They don't want you.

[A]

I've never understood.

[C]

I'm not Italian. I don't want an hour, a bird a week. Enough.

[A]

That's plenty.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. By joining, if you can become a member, but you still have to pay a little extra than an attire.

[D]

It's just like a country club members get a discount on the.

[A]

But it's not like a country club, because a country. Well, country clubs do base things on race, but this is actually on your heritage saying, you are not born Italian. You do not have a chance to be part of this. I don't know.

[D]

I think they're flexible over there.

[A]

Five bucks for a drink for me and a dollar for an Italian. Well, no, but if you could join Brady. Try it with a black guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Tell me how. It's right there.

[D]

No, I will try it.

[A]

Okay. Try charging. Well, because you're black. And then throw that at him and see how it goes.

Yeah, you can't argue this. It's just. It shouldn't be legal. You guys are getting away with murder over there. Hey, don't like I should get 70% off at IKEA if that's the case.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

It's not fair.

[C]

So off the air while you're playing that Miserable music. We were talking about myriad different things. And I did want to get this out there because we're talking about wives. Your. Your wife texted this morning.

[A]

Oh, nonsense. How amazing my gaze.

[C]

How amazing your neighbors are. How on earth they can.

[A]

How. How are they functioning after that late dinner? Michael got up at 8. He's amazing. I don't know how he's doing it.

[C]

Her stomach feels kind of yucky.

[A]

Yeah, she's in trouble. I got up at four no matter what. Now I'm entertaining America for five hours.

[C]

But my. My wife went for a yearly physical yesterday.

[A]

Uh oh.

[C]

Perfectly healthy. Everything's great.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

And she's happy about that.

[A]

But.

[C]

And here's why I need your guys input.

[A]

Uh oh.

[C]

We've been married 37 years.

She's three pounds heavier than the day we got married.

[A]

Three pounds.

[C]

Now what are we gonna do about that, Johnny? What are we gonna do about.

[A]

That's the only answer. Really? Yeah. I mean, what are we gonna do about that, man? Three pounds heavier than the day you married. Do you even recognize her?

[C]

It's like, who's that wobbling away?

[A]

Who is that? When did a sea otter get in my home? Three pounds. Yeah, that's. It's. It's unacceptable.

[C]

Her and I together. And where are you? What are you?

[A]

You're probably a lot lighter than when you met.

[C]

Yeah, well, when I. We met in college, I was probably about 270. 270. I'm probably about 280 now. So, you know, everybody's just put together a little.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Yours is more muscle. Back then you had to carry a lot more fat.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Three pads. It's showing. Is it in all the right places?

[C]

No, no, that's the thing.

[A]

We got each. Was it a pound on each hip?

Man.

[C]

How do you deal with it? Give me some advice, John.

[A]

How do you take her for walk spire? A treadmill? Christmas is coming. Maybe a thigh master. I'm not sure.

[C]

Gym membership?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, A couple of gym memberships make it. She east and west. She's covered at mountainside and at the Barney gym. A cell phone with Cordell and Cordell's number program. Yeah, yeah. Introduced to the Cordell and Cordell the chardonnay. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Tell her to cut up the chardonnay.

[A]

Is she distraught or can't even understand it with all that food?

[C]

I mean, she. She is pretty depressed.

[A]

My God, that's brutal. And I'll tell you before we get to our football picks in the entertainment drill, Dale called this Week. And I literally. I was playing basketball when you called.

[C]

I thought you said you're having dinner.

[A]

No, no, that was when we finally talked.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But you called me earlier and I was playing basketball. My phone was buzzing, but I had the timer on and I didn't want to stop, so I picked it up after. I'm like, Dale called me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I put the phone back in my pocket and I finished playing ball and I went back inside. Dinner had just arrived. And I looked at my. Looked at my voice messages and Dale left me a very tender voice message. He called me at about 6:30 and the voice message just says, Call me wad, which is I think, very similar to the first line of Moby Dick, which is call me Ishmael. So now I will, by your request, call you wad by what you said. So it says call me F Wad. And I call him and I'm thinking, all right, what's he mad about? And then you were very generously offering me tickets to a Raider.

[C]

I know you. You say, I don't want to talk on the phone. I'd rather text. If I'm going to have a one minute conversation, we can come to a conclusion versus eight text.

[A]

Just text me and say, I'm calling you or call me.

[C]

That's what I did.

[A]

No, you called me first.

[C]

Well, I just let them get it over with.

[A]

And you didn't. It just said, who's going to call back? Call me bod. But I did.

Because I recognized he might be right. And I called back and he said, do you want to go to the Chiefs and Raiders game?

[C]

And I figured it's a Sunday and your Steelers are playing.

[A]

Yeah, there's a possibility that that's a thing. And that's the only thing kind of holding me back right now is I don't know if the Steelers Ravens game is going to be on Saturday or Sunday.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It was very nice of you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But maybe change your tenor on the message leaving call me F1 probably not going to go over too well with your overweight wife.

[D]

Do you know where the seats are?

[C]

Wow.

[A]

No, I didn't ask him that. But I didn't want to say. I didn't want to ask where the seats were until I found out if I could go and then I would. Then my next move, Brady was going to be to him and do a hell and say, I think I can make it, but where are the seats?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Otherwise I'm going to go ahead and plan something else. But thank you. That was very Nice of you to offer that.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And I'm still. Still thinking on how I can arrange that. And I won't wait too long.

[C]

The thing is, if in fact the only thing that would stay. Who do the Steelers have left?

[A]

Ravens. So it could very well be for the division. It's a big weekend.

[C]

It is. They don't wonder if they would. If there's any possible way that they'd be at the same time.

[A]

Well, it's a TBD game. They haven't even announced the time.

[C]

So it could be a different day.

[A]

Could be.

[C]

And you also have the 4 o' clock window.

[A]

The 1 o' clock could be a Saturday, could be the late Sunday. If it's for the division, they'll make it the Sunday night game. And then. Then I can do it for sure.

[C]

Well, I have a feeling the Chiefs lose this week. Yeah. That.

[A]

That game become a Saturday game. Which would be perfect if the Steelers get flexed to Sunday night and the Chiefs are Saturday. I'm in. Things fly back Sunday and hit the game here at the house.

[C]

And I was even gonna offer you a hundred dollar room at $100 room at the whatchamacallit.

[A]

Half those fortes world.

[C]

No.

[A]

Where do you stand the Aria.

[C]

The Aria? The Raiders give you a hundred dollar room. But it's only a room I know you like.

[A]

He's not staying in. I don't have to pay for the rooms at Aria. Why would I give anyone a hundred dollars?

[C]

I'm just saying that that's also.

[A]

It's very nice of you.

[C]

Yeah. For somebody who doesn't have your connection.

[A]

It's very nice. Yes.

[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[E]

Disgusting.

[B]

They say things that are horrible.

[C]

UPD H's morning sickness.

[A]

I'll give. I'll get you a room without the hundred dollars.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

For. For that if I go. Otherwise I can't. That was nice though. Dale's. Dale's trying to take me across state lines like Brady did that Caitlyn girl.

[D]

It's awesome. Dale.

[A]

It is. All right, let's get right to the picks real quick. Bo, it's all over. This NFL season is so hard to predict. You don't know. Philip Rivers is back. He's 88 years old. I hate when old people do well in professional sports. I absolutely hate it. It means something's wrong with the game.

[C]

I bet you he's not playing this week. Yes, he is starting.

[A]

They just announced that he's starting.

[C]

It's either him or a rookie.

[A]

Yeah, that kid. That's terrible. Yeah. He's going to play for sure this weekend.

[C]

And for some reason, I believe that he will have one game in him and.

[A]

And he might not be able to.

[C]

Get up on Monday.

[A]

Not it. Not the first one, though. You can't knock the rust off in a pro football game.

[C]

And just throwing the ball. He's a coach. He's throwing balls all season long.

[A]

He just wants out of that house full of kids. Look, I'd be playing till I'm 90. You think you got problems with that? Lady of yours is just a cake machine.

[D]

This guy's opening up on the Seahawks.

[A]

Got a burrito eating baby factory for a wife. She won't stop popping them out like a vending machine. All right, let's get right to it. I believe the Bears are playing. Who do they have this?

[D]

The Brownies.

[A]

The Brownies. The Bears and Browns. You're gonna go with the Bears. All right, Bears for you. Who? The Cowboys have Dale.

[C]

They have Minnesota.

[A]

Oh, in Dallas.

[C]

In Dallas. I believe so.

[A]

What do you got?

[C]

I will take the Cowboys.

[A]

Going with the Cowboys over our Brady. The Bungles are kind of a confusing team. Maybe they can, maybe they can't. They got Baltimore, who's reeling but absolutely need this win. And Cincy, who's got.

[D]

I haven't been picking the Bangles. Been doing pretty well with that.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But I'm going to go with the Bengals.

[A]

Get the Bengals to go 20 against the Ravens in three weeks.

[C]

Wow. I have a feeling that we're going to lose one.

[A]

I'm going with the Ravens. Oh, I got to pull him back. I talked to him. He is so committed.

[C]

Like changing your answer on it.

[A]

Committed to his. Committed to his craft. All right. Steelers are at home against Miami on Monday night. Miami's. We. We had them dead to rights in the podcast. We had. Well, they're five wins in a row. You're getting a hell of a team. And their secondary is great.

[C]

Matter if they play in cold weather anymore.

[A]

No, they're. They're a physical team. They got the number three rusher in football in a chain. This is a miraculous turnaround because that dude was fired.

[C]

McDaniel was gone.

[A]

It was gone. I will. I will give the Steelers the win because it's at home. But I don't know who Miami is and I don't know what to expect. And they can run the ball and the Steelers can't stop it, but I think that's it. Right now. Our bet is worth $328 because we're all favorites.

[C]

I'LL take a favorite.

[A]

Yeah, I'm fine with that. We got to get our money somehow. That's. Finally. Let's do a safe.

[C]

We can't get $300.

[A]

Look, if somebody screwed this up, if the Brady's bungles. Yeah. The good news is, the good news is if dipstick changer over here misses and he's the only one, we'll still make almost as much as we would have had we won the bet.

[C]

That is true.

[A]

So that's how. That's. That's awesome right there. All right, we'll get. And make that a thing. Yeah, it's pretty good.

[C]

When.

[A]

At what time in your career, like, you went back, you came off the couch and played for the Ravens for half an hour. And do you feel like your brain.

[C]

Said we got this the first time I remembered it because obviously a practice for the week and you were 40. I was 40, yeah. Not 45. No. But the first time I really realized that after I wobbled a snap back there and I went to try and cover the punt and I started running and I was like, my legs were like jello.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like I'm running in quicksand. I was never the fastest guy to begin with, but I'm like, I can't. I can't run. Yeah.

[A]

It's just like Eric Hill told me that when he played for, he went to the Rams and he said in a practice, once he diagnosed the play before the snap, he knew exactly what was going to happen. He ran to his spot and he said, the running back went right by me. He was. I was a step behind. He's like, but I know where I was supposed to be. So next plays like, same exact thing. Like, I got this, a gap thing. He goes, running back is behind me. He's like, how? He goes, oh, it's me because I can't do it anymore. Because these guys have like three steps fast. Not you lost a step, you lost your step. And they're three steps fast.

[C]

But now the one thing I'll say about Philip Rivers, kind of like Flacco, quarterback. And then here's the thing. Indianapolis has a pretty good offensive line.

[A]

Stop it. No, they don't. Or their quarterback wouldn't be dead. They've got nobody left.

[C]

He tore his Achilles right because he's.

[A]

Been running for his life all year.

Screw that wild eyed murderer. Daniel Jones looks like every Netflix killer ever. He's horrible. He takes his helmet off, it gets worse. Most of the time in the helmet, you're like, jeez that helmet. That guy looks like a serial killer. He takes his off. He's like, no, he is a serial killer. Somebody puts. Amazing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, he does. He's got like those nocturnal. Those bush baby. Baby monkey eyes.

[C]

Crazy. Well, it's a guy like that. Sam Darnold has the most punchable face.

[A]

He does have a very. Well, you know, it's hard when you've got Sean Payton on a field, even though he's a coach, to say he's the most punchable. But Sam Darnold, J.J. mcCarthy's very punchable face. Very punchable face.

[C]

Yeah, okay, I'll. I'll go with that. But John Payton, why don't you like him?

[A]

Because he's a rat face and he doesn't have anything to do with Steelers.

Yuck. I hate them all. Here we go. Oh, Brady and Dale's baby Jesus. Jesus Lord, please let Sean Peyton's toes fall off in a weird boating accident.

Because you can't stand up without your toes. You have to have toes to stand up.

[C]

Then. Then just take away the big toe.

[D]

He wants him on a.

[A]

That's the hover. That's your balance. Yeah, yeah. So if you. I'll take them all the way, though, just in case he learns.

[C]

We kind of figured.

[A]

I've seen those old shows where people learn to play guitar and stuff if they have like a tome like Peyton.

[D]

On a hover out on the side.

[A]

I want him to be fully capable of everything if he had toes. But he's got. He's got to march around with like crutches and sticks for the rest of his life, just for the lack of.

[C]

It's amazing when you think of these, your big toes, obviously super important.

[D]

Super.

[C]

The other thing. Are your thumbs huge?

[A]

You can lose your thumbs though. You won't tip over.

[C]

No, but what I'm saying is, like, I've broken my right thumb a couple times. Broke my left thumb, thumb once. Right. If you're right handed, you break your thumb, you're screwed. Yeah, you're screwed.

[A]

Can't do anything.

[C]

You can't open a door. Hard to start a car. Back in the day when you actually had a key. Start a car, crank. Wipe yourself after you're done. You have to become ambidextrous.

[A]

You learned that after surgery. They asked me what my dominant hand was. I said my right hand and they said okay. And what they were asking was which. Which hand you wipe your ass with? And I didn't get that. And I'm a left handed wiper. Oh, I didn't know that. So they cut my left shoulder first. Put me up in the sling. That first turd.

I was like. I was sponge painting. I wasn't making clear swipes. I was just hitting it and then like mashing it against my leg. And like, why is my arm doing this?

[C]

It's. It's weird.

[A]

You cannot function wiping. Try it today. You're gonna make a mess.

[C]

Tape your thumb to your hand and use your opposite hand.

[A]

Use your other hand to wipe your ass. It is amazing how bad you are, Bert.

[C]

That's your homework.

[A]

Everybody listening. That's what you gotta do.

He's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[E]

Save over 200 when you book weekly. Stays with Verbo this winter. If you haven't seen your college besties since, well, college. You need a week to catch up in a snowy cabin. Take a week long vacation and save over 200. Book [e-mail].