12-12-25 - BR - FRI - Brady's Confusing Delivery Of Tradition That Will Soon Go Away Gets Him Crotchety - SciNews On Animal Monogamy And Ozempic For Pets - Brady's New Death News Segment From 40yrs Ago Has Him Angry

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – December 12, 2025

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Title: Brady's Confusing Delivery Of Tradition That Will Soon Go Away Gets Him Crotchety - SciNews On Animal Monogamy And Ozempic For Pets - Brady's New Death News Segment From 40yrs Ago Has Him Angry

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness dives into the humorous yet occasionally heated banter among the hosts as they discuss American traditions predicted to vanish, quirky science news about monogamy in the animal kingdom and Ozempic for pets, and Brady’s new obsession: sharing bizarre historical death stories. Throughout, the hosts maintain their trademark blend of sarcasm, teasing, and Arizona-local flavor, riffing on nostalgia, scientific oddities, and the always-odd corners of internet media.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. American Traditions That May Disappear

• The hosts discuss a viral online list predicting which American traditions will fade in the next decade.

• Class Reunions:

  • Strong debate over whether social media has made large-scale reunions obsolete, with hosts joking about the futility and awkwardness of such gatherings.
    • Notable Quote:
      • John: “That’s like going to the mall to order something online.” (08:01)
  • Brady struggles to clarify the point, leading to much ribbing and confusion.
  • Timestamps: 05:20 – 11:50

• Other Traditions Predicted to Fade:

  • Trick or treating
  • Gender reveal events
  • Black Friday shopping (moving online)
  • Miss America pageant
  • Private fireworks
  • Mailed Christmas cards
    • John: "Cards should be blank and just say something. It’s plagiarism. It’s just legal plagiarism." (12:11)
  • The conversation veers into why these are going extinct—and whether anyone cares.

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2. Science News with "Professor" Brady

a. Sock Hygiene

• Brady delivers a PSA: Science says don’t re-wear socks—your feet are “microscopic rainforests of bacteria.”
  • Timestamps: 14:10 – 15:19

b. Animal Monogamy Study

• Study finds humans are more monogamous than meerkats, but less so than beavers, dolphins, and chimps.
  • John and the crew discuss the idea that monogamy is a social construct, not natural instinct.
    • John: “We’re not a monogamous species. We’re not. It’s nurtured, not nature.” (17:24)
• The evolution of mating habits and the human tendency to go against instinct, enforced by societal rules.
  • Timestamps: 15:47 – 18:20

c. “Viagra” for Women & Ozempic for Pets

• Brady announces a topical cream version of Viagra for women has reached the US market.
• Ozempic, a popular weight loss drug, is being tested for obese cats (implant, not a shot).
  • This is instantly roasted: "Stop feeding your cats so much. They don’t have grocery stores." – John (19:13)
• Timestamps: 18:20 – 19:29

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3. Brady’s New “Death News” Segment

• Brady shares morbid but fascinating historical death stories he found in an internet rabbit hole, with the rest of the crew reacting in disbelief and dark humor.
  • David Allen Kerwin, 1981:
    • Jumped into a Yellowstone hot spring to save a dog, suffered fatal burns but briefly survived to ask, “How bad am I?” (20:35)
  • John Bowen, 1979:
    • Attending a halftime show where a remote-control lawnmower drone crashed into the stands, killing him and injuring another.
    • (Several minutes spent clarifying if the drone had functional mower blades or was simply a propeller-based flying machine. Brady’s attempt to prove it with a dubious photo is ridiculed.)
    • John: "You held it up as if this was proof. I said they flew that over people. And you went, yep, and you showed me a picture of a lawnmower over trees." (29:02)
  • Sigurd the Mighty, 892 AD:
    • Viking leader who died when a severed enemy’s head tied to his horse infected his leg.
  • The crew teases Brady for the confusing presentation and for sourcing stories from 40+ years ago.
• Timestamps: 19:38 – 27:40

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4. Internet Oddities & Shocking Viral Videos

• The group describes, reacts to, and often mock-reacts to bizarre internet clips involving physical oddities and adult content (ramen through face holes, extreme sex toy challenges, Ninja Turtle porn parodies, etc.)
  • John: "Just destroyed a lot of childhoods." (35:35)
• The lineup illustrates the wild extremes of online fetish content and the absurdity of what goes viral.
• Timestamps: 32:23 – 35:42

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5. Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Class Reunions:

  • John (to Brady): "You are trying so hard to make sense of your own nonsense." (10:42)
  • "If you want to reunite, do it with who you want, not with everyone. That means class reunions are pointless now." – John (07:23)

• On Tradition Changes:

  • "Christmas cards should go. All cards should go away." – John (12:07)

• On Animal Monogamy:

  • "I think most of us are hearing about beaver monogamy for the first time." – John (16:21)

• On Death News and Flying Lawn Mowers:

  • "Would you just hand me a tapestry?" – John (23:39, mocking Brady’s “evidence”)
  • "We’re responding as the audience would, going, what the f*** is he talking about? Am I wrong?" – John (27:40)

• On Pet Weight Loss Meds:

  • "Stop feeding your cats so much. They don’t have grocery stores." – John (19:13)

• On Odd Internet Clips:

  • "This noseless lady's got a great tongue." – John (30:09)
  • "Just destroyed a lot of childhoods." – John (35:35)

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Start | Key Moments / Comments | |----------------------------------------|----------|--------------------------------------------------------| | Advertisements / Intro (skip) | 00:00 | | | Main show starts | 03:00 | | | Gingerbread houses & traditions | 03:07 | "All the stuff on a gingerbread house is so delicious…"| | Traditions fading (debate) | 05:20 | Class reunions debate, Brady’s confusing logic | | Science News (“Professor Brady”) | 14:10 | Sock hygiene, animal monogamy, Ozempic for pets | | Death News | 19:38 | Yellowstone rescue, flying lawnmower incident | | Viral Internet Oddities | 32:23 | Extreme/parody videos discussed | | Closing banter | 36:13 | Reflections on stories, end of segment |

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “[Cards] should be blank and just say something. It's plagiarism. It’s just legal plagiarism.”
  — John Holmberg (12:11)

• “We’re not a monogamous species. We’re not. It’s nurtured, not nature.”
  — John Holmberg (17:24)

• “Stop feeding your cats so much. They don’t have grocery stores.”
  — John Holmberg (19:13)

• "You are trying so hard to make sense of your own nonsense."
  — John Holmberg to Brady (10:42)

• "Just destroyed a lot of childhoods."
  — John Holmberg (35:35)

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Tone & Style

The show maintains a lively, sardonic, and at times absurdly humorous tone, allowing for both entertaining asides and pointed social commentary. The hosts routinely interrupt and roast each other, especially Brady, whose segments fuel running gags about confusion, old age, and morbid curiosity.

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For Listeners Who Missed The Episode

If you enjoy banter about why old traditions die, learn something unexpected about beaver monogamy, want a heads-up on Ozempic for cats, or just like listening to a group of friends tease each other over the weirdest news the internet can serve up—this episode delivers, often at Brady’s expense. The hosts’ chemistry and the mix of nostalgia, genuine curiosity, and irreverent humor make for a fast-paced and outrageous morning show experience.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesley]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's Brett Vesley from Homebridge. Morning sickness now. I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work, and it's just what I needed to finally throw in the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low volt vintage lighting, 3D designs. Get a free quote at DivineDesign Lawn Care.com that's DivineDesignLawnCare.com It's John Holmberg here.

[John Holmberg]

Shilling away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass, I recently took one of my cars to a dealership for maintenance, and the guy said, oh, you got a chip in the back window. I never even noticed it. Then he told me they can fix it. I said, oh, great. He said, 1300 bucks. And I started laughing. I said, no, thanks. You haven't heard of New Vision Auto Glass? New Vision Autoglass wants to make it easy on you, too. You set up the time and the place, get the work done, and it is done. So whatever Glass needs you have with your car, New Vision Auto Glass is the only place to go. Give them a call. 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Tap that app right now and you might win yourself tickets to every concert KUPD's got next year. How about that? Is the KUPD Concert Pass. Simple as punch. Super Nintendo. Shelley Boggs text over and said, oh, my God. I still remember every word to white lines, but I don't know, like the names of the three people I met yesterday. Yeah, it's. White lines is. It's like a drug, ironically.

[Brett Vesley]

Don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do it. You're indoctrinated in Once you start going. I got an email from guys at Best Wake up song in the last 20 years that, that there was something in that song that if you were a kid when that was going on, because it was kind of funny, the message was sort of hilarious. The video was great. Anyway, don't do any more of that. It's a one and done. We might not ever do that again. At 7:48, it's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you byAllPro Shades.com you got a TV on that back patio or you want one but you think the glare is going to make it useless? I've got one of my back patio up top that does get a ton of glare. We can't watch it in the daytime. I want to come up with a little plan there to shade that. I think I've got one all pro shade is going to come by, make sure that this whole deal is taken care of. Why not make some of your outdoor space livable space? We live in a perfect society. It is great outside all day long. This weekend, this Christmas season is going to be in the 80s. Sitting out in the patio, it's like having more square footage on your house. It's glorious. Cover it up, make it shady so you can have activities back there, including TV. And if you get a motorized shade from AllProchade.com right now and get yourself free heater thrown in there from the good people@allprochade. Allprochade.com Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

We've made it. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy gingerbread house day.

[John Holmberg]

I always used to hate that because all the stuff on a gingerbread house is so delicious and you're not allowed to eat it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And then you let it not just.

[John Holmberg]

Get hard and gross. We made them in fourth grade in Albuquerque. Abby Louise made us do it. And like, thinking back, you're like, this was just killing time. She's not teaching us anything. We made gingerbread houses. Glue. You put glue on it, you're ruining good food. Take that, Africa.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of bases. Fun facts. Dallas Cowboys linebacker Chuck Howley is the only player from a losing team to be named a Super Bowl MVP.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Happened at Super Bowl 5, 1971. It was such a mess. They call it the blunder bowl. Eleven turnovers.

[John Holmberg]

Chuck Holly had a day, though. It was. That's. That's legendary.

[Brady Bogan]

In the fourth quarter, Chuck made two interceptions.

[John Holmberg]

It was huge. And they lost the game.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. 16 to 13 to the Colts.

[John Holmberg]

A mess. Don Shula, championship there with the Colts. It's cold in here. Toledo just walked in and shivered.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I said, if you were a woman, you could sue us for manslaughter.

[Brady Bogan]

Orthorexia is an eating disorder where people only want to Eat organic or pure foods. Chocolate milk was invented in jamaica in the 1400s. An Irish botanist visiting Jamaica in the 1700s took the idea back to Europe, started selling it. But he stepped it up a notch. The Jamaicans were doing water and cocoa. This guy, Sir Hans Sloane, he brought it back to Scotland and put milk.

[John Holmberg]

In with the Sir Han or Sir oh, Sir Hans Loan. Okay. Not like Sir Han Sloan. Like he was a Middle Easterner that was poisoning the cocoa.

[Brady Bogan]

So he came up with the chocolate milk and he sold it as a medical elixir.

[John Holmberg]

Was he knighted before this? Was. He just had to be united after. United after the whole cocoa thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Although he went to Jamaica, so maybe he did have the juice and could travel.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sound like he had some money.

[Brady Bogan]

People online are predicting the American traditions that they believe will fade away in the coming decade. Next 10 years. Wow. Class reunions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so. That's good.

[Brett Vesley]

I've got Facebook and everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't need to go social media. You absolutely don't. If you want to stay in contact with somebody, it's easier.

[Brady Bogan]

Someone made the point. Yeah. It's easier than ever. But you can now contact that person. Then it makes it more avoid. Let's meet up.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, that's what contacting someone is.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I'm saying the. They're saying the class reunions will go away, but the person is making a point of the. Now that you contact even more, sometimes that helps you to want to meet more face to face. Like actually having a good together. No, you're saying because you can contact people, it prevents the reunion.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Yeah, it prevents a reunion in Mass.

[Brady Bogan]

They're saying it.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, you're saying you're. You were saying a class reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is over. Reuniting with an individual is easier than ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

But. But what I'm saying is there's an argument of the context and that now you can get a hold of that person that you'd want to meet, actually get together.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you just say that?

[Brett Vesley]

Four day work week.

[John Holmberg]

I've been in that exact.

[Brett Vesley]

Going for this. For the weeks we're.

[Brady Bogan]

I guess.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's saying the exact same thing. That if. Yeah. You don't.

[Brady Bogan]

Class reunions will not go away. That's the point, Mickey.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, they would. I would not go back to a mass class reunion if I can just individually pick the people I want to reunite with.

[Brady Bogan]

There's the difference.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady Bogan]

They're saying that contacting you online.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Makes you more likely to get together with that person.

[John Holmberg]

What I just said I don't go to the massive reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

I reunite with an individual reunion. Yeah, that everyone starts talking like, hey, let's have a get together.

[John Holmberg]

No, that. That's in lieu of the reunion. Everyone can talk. So you. I can reunite with people from high school that I choose to reunite with without having a reunion. Before the Internet, before social media. If you wanted to reunite with classmates, you were hoping they'd be at the reunion. You don't need that anymore. So it's going to go away because now I can pick and choose who I want to reunite with and. And have that mini reunion.

[Toledo]

You're the one who hankers to get together.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You want to do the big reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's what the point was. Also saying some may be more likely to go because of that of contacting people online.

[John Holmberg]

Well, those people are idiots because you don't have to go anywhere to contact someone online. That's like going to the mall to order something online.

[Brady Bogan]

You're talking to 10 or 12 people on commenting on stuff. Hey, let's have a happy hour some. Or let's.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a class reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it turns into one. I mean it turns into.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't turn into like if all of a sudden everybody shows up. Like, how did that happen? We're supposed to be 12 of us and the whole class is here now.

[Brett Vesley]

You're right.

[John Holmberg]

That's not going to happen. Like if I'm hanging with Brett and like seven or eight people from Rhodes Junior High because we contacted each other and then Amwa Grant shows up to mention him again. Like, how'd you find out about this? Like, I don'. When people talk, class reunions just happen. It's like a hive. It's a hive mentality they had in.

[Brady Bogan]

Ronnie's happen that way.

[John Holmberg]

A reunion, not a class reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

It was. It was people in her class.

[John Holmberg]

That is not a class reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

That is people reuniting a unsanctioned.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Which means that there are no class reunion.

[Toledo]

Class reunion.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a reunion. It's just a reunion. A class reunion is a very organized by the school reunion. Those are going to go away because it's so easy to do what you're saying, which is just get whoever you want to show.

[Brady Bogan]

They got together separately on that night.

[Toledo]

And then saying the same thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And then went to the class reunion. So they had another party.

[John Holmberg]

And then nobody a reason to. Nobody's saying that doesn't happen because class reunions are still in Existence. The whole crux of the story is, boy, we got to do this again tonight. The future. There won't be a need for any class reunions because you can do what they did in the beginning.

[Toledo]

Did you come back from Japan? And you're watching you.

[John Holmberg]

Are you listening to you somewhere else in the future.

[Brady Bogan]

Trick or treating is another one.

[John Holmberg]

No way.

[Brady Bogan]

Someone said that ever since Trump trunk.

[Toledo]

Retreating took off, no religious.

[John Holmberg]

New forms of it.

[Brady Bogan]

And people are only finding select neighborhoods. The good neighborhoods to go to. Well, yeah, a lot of neighborhoods they've hacked down.

[John Holmberg]

They've completely hacked it.

[Brady Bogan]

Massive gender reveal events.

[John Holmberg]

Good, good.

[Brady Bogan]

Black Friday.

[John Holmberg]

It's going on for months now. Start in October.

[Brady Bogan]

The Miss America pageant.

[John Holmberg]

It's still a thing?

[Brady Bogan]

Guess so. Private fireworks.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Brady, you make me want to listen.

[John Holmberg]

To ladonna Harvey go to. Don't tell them that. No, you calm down.

[Brady Bogan]

You'll be back.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? We have a reunion with that person when they come back. How would it get bigger? We can't. We just. We have to have a sanction one, and then.

[Brady Bogan]

It only be the four of us. That's not.

[John Holmberg]

You are trying so hard to make sense of your own nonsense. You're the one who said class reunions won't be a thing. We all agreed. Because social media makes it so easy to do it now you can have a reunion with the people you choose. Not all of them. Which does. Which means we no longer have a need for a class reunion. But you think.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I'm just making the point that they said at the end of the comment, someone said the social media has rendered them irrelevant. Yeah, but social media also keeps people connected with classmates more. And some may be more likely to go because of it.

[John Holmberg]

To write. That doesn't mean that it won't. That it will still be necessary in the future if some people still want to go. That's probably true, but it doesn't mean they're necessary anymore, because they're not.

[Toledo]

So you're refuting the headline of the story that said class reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not. I'm just making that. I'm just making the comment that the other person said in it. They're saying.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think they're saying some people still say, oh, I've met up with these people. I want to see more. I'll go to the reunion.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been talking to them online.

[John Holmberg]

But in the future, there'll be less and less of a need for class reunions. Jesus Christ.

[Toledo]

That scar on your head is not where they Removed your kidney. They gave you a lobotomy.

[John Holmberg]

Friend, in the the old Testament, they thought kidneys were brains. And I'm starting to believe they might have been right.

[Toledo]

Is that true?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I thought it was your thought center.

[Brady Bogan]

Last one's Christmas cards.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Christmas cards should go. All cards should go away.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cards should be blank and just say something. It's plagiarism. It's just legal plagiarism. You pay $3 and 79 cents to plagiarize someone else's words.

[Brett Vesley]

3.79. That's cheap.

[John Holmberg]

The last time I bought a card was like four bucks. And I'm like, why do I do this?

[Toledo]

Birthday cards too. With Facebook you don't need it. Facebook tells you who has a Christmas.

[Brady Bogan]

Cards will differ. Depends on when you're making the card. Like you're making a picture of yourself, your family.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

And you get the cards produced. I think that's what they're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Yeah. Get that out of there too.

[Brady Bogan]

Because that you buy.

[Toledo]

They can both go away.

[John Holmberg]

And that's just stupid social media.

[Toledo]

Just John Burns. Him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You put one picture on social media. Why are you buying in bulk? What are you doing that for? Just put it up there. The people you care about will see it. Morning sickness. They say things that are horrible. It's John Holmberg here, shilling away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. I'm telling you, I'm windshield curse. So this holiday season I'm going to add new windshield to my wish list. New Vision Auto Glass will take my call, deal with the insurance and then we're going to discuss what the most convenient time and place is so they can come get the work done on my ride. Then I'm going to get up to $375 back. You go to new visionautoglass.com, see what you qualify. And don't forget that dinner at the world famous Brazilian steakhouse, Rhodesia Grill. Get that new windshield right now and hope it lasts through 2020-648021-09090 New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Brady Bogan]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[John Holmberg]

Could you be more specific?

[Brady Bogan]

When it's cravinient.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a.

[John Holmberg]

Second at a.m. p.m. I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[John Holmberg]

Crave, which is any from am, pm.

[Brady Bogan]

What more could you want?

[John Holmberg]

Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravinience. Am, PM too much. Good stuff. Homberg's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

All right, knock it down. Oh, come on, Richard.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello my friends, Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. The science is on wearing socks. Some people believe that you can wear socks, take them off, wear them again the next day. Science has proven do not do that. Your feet are microscopic rainforests of bacteria.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady Bogan]

Fungi typically containing about a thousand different species. Foot skin also contains some of the highest amounts of sweat glands in the human body. So take them off.

[John Holmberg]

If you've had a big day in socks, they're done. That's essentially what science did.

[Toledo]

Yeah, take the big out of there. If you've had a day in your socks.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you've had shoes on over the socks and did some walking around, your feet are like, I mean capture any part of your body in two different layers of something. You should probably scrub up and not use that thing anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

I said if you can't, you know, if you're going to wear socks for.

[John Holmberg]

More than a day, if you're going to. You're a pig. If you plan on. No, if you stop it, that's bad. If you are a human being who plans on wearing socks for a few days, change your mindset, then change your socks. This one said, hey Brady, I got some fruit flavored white lines. I think you need to jumpstart that brain this morning. Hey, let's get some of those. I want to see Brady, smell that.

[Brady Bogan]

A study ranked different animals according how monogamous they are and humans rank pretty high. We're more monogamous than meerkats, but less so than beavers, dolphins and chimps. They're the biggest cheaters.

[John Holmberg]

But do they have commitments? If the spouse isn't angry, is it cheating? Aren't they kind of like in open relationships in the sea?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know about. That's the first time I've heard about beavers. Really?

[John Holmberg]

Because usually probably true of almost all of us. I think most of us are hearing. Yeah, most of us are hearing about. As far as being beaver, monogamy is the first time for me too. We're in the same boat there. And you know what changed all that? Social media.

[Brady Bogan]

But here's how they ranked them. They ranked them by Looking at how common half siblings are in the sea in the species that they're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Put down with beavers and dolphins and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

They have a lot of half siblings.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Cause of. So you're basically saying that it's all. Basically the ocean is Maryvale. A lot of dolphins like gonna get milk and then they just bail out chimps. That's right. So you got that beavers, you got all sorts of. I don't think monogamy. I think that's a man made thing. They say there's some animals that mate for life, but we're the only ones that fight our natural instinct to remain monogamous. We're not a monogamous species. We're not.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's an, it's a. It's nurtured, not nature. Because back in the olden days you didn't mate for life. Cavemen did not mate for life. We forced it on us. And it's mainly through religion, population control and control of the people to keep.

[Brady Bogan]

It in one at one time with multiple wives.

[John Holmberg]

Well yeah, back then before. Because it's. That's immediately proof right there that we're not built for it. We force ourselves into it because it's cleaner and nicer and it's more emotionally stable. But it is not.

[Brady Bogan]

That's if you can afford it too.

[John Holmberg]

That's true too. But it is one of those deals when you're looking, you're like. It's. You're fighting the instinct. That's why it's a sin. It wouldn't have had to been. If it was natural for us to not do it, we had to make rules against it because we're not built that way. People don't like hearing that, but that's true. If it was just innate in us, we wouldn't do it. It's like making a thing saying we breathe. We already know that. It's just something we do.

[Brady Bogan]

Viagra for the ladies is now available in the U.S. it's a cream, not a pill.

[John Holmberg]

Same stuff too.

[Brady Bogan]

Has the same ingredients.

[John Holmberg]

The Ladenophil or whatever that's called.

[Toledo]

Tadalafil, Sildenafil.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And why it took 30 years for it to start working on them. It's just because they're stubborn.

[Toledo]

And did they just take it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can't they just take the same one?

[Brady Bogan]

Guess they made it in a cream form. Maybe not. I wonder why.

[Toledo]

So they're rubbing it out before they rub it out.

[John Holmberg]

Cream stuff for men too. Not just a pill. But still it's just because they couldn't figure out the dosage to try to nail it so their lady bits get more sensitive.

[Brady Bogan]

Ozempic for pets could be right around the corner, a drug company is testing a new GLP1 device on cats. That's on the owners, and it's an implant, so no shots are required.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Still in the early stages.

[John Holmberg]

Stop feeding your cats so much. They don't have grocery stores. They rely on what you give them. Cut them down. They're on a diet. If you say so. And it's not like they're finding midnight snacks on their own.

[Brady Bogan]

That's your size.

[John Holmberg]

That is frustratingly bad. That's terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

I was in a wormhole of death stories.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Brady Bogan]

Yesterday. And I came across four that I thought I would share. Death news.

[John Holmberg]

You got death news?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We have a song for that death march. Oh, he's got this again. All right. Good work, guys. Nice work.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Excellent job.

[Brady Bogan]

David Allen Kerwin is 24 years old. He attempted to rescue a friend's dog after he fell into the Celestine pool, the hot spring in Yellowstone national park. This happened July 20, 1981. Despite numerous shouts by bystanders telling Kerwin not to go in, he dove in head first, was unable to save the dog. Right after managing to swim back to shore, he was helped out of the pool, where the injuries became apparent. The exposure to 200F 200°F water, it burns 3rd degree burns 100% of his body. He gets out of the the pool and says, wow, that was stupid. How bad am I?

[John Holmberg]

He had to like, the dog wasn't going to make it. He didn't jump in and start swimming towards the dog.

[Brady Bogan]

The second he was trying to go.

[John Holmberg]

After the dog until he hit the water. Then it was just trying to get out.

[Brady Bogan]

Then he got out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He didn't spend time in the water working on the dog. After he felt that water, he just went right to the side.

[Brady Bogan]

He might have looked a second, but obviously because one thing is not only did he burn. How bad am I is he's blind.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's just people not caring.

[Brady Bogan]

Burned his eyes. He gets out and his friend says, you know, sitting on the floor. And they knew it was real trouble when they took his shoe off and all the skin came out.

[John Holmberg]

He gloved him. Hey, how. How was the dog doing that he had enough time to notice that I need to help him.

[Brady Bogan]

You'd think so. Just take a few seconds. That's not gonna help us.

[John Holmberg]

He had to realize, oh, that dog's gonna die in a second.

[Toledo]

I'm thinking of all the possibilities right now. If we're bringing up Death Stories from 1981, this show's gonna go on forever.

[John Holmberg]

Forever. Forever. If he just now discovered that. Oh, Brady doesn't do much yet.

[Brett Vesley]

1981.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he doesn't do much yet.

[Toledo]

Did you hear him say that?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

45 years ago.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a relatively new one.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a couple of other ones. But keep in mind this. This is Brady, who doesn't do research on today's stories, but he fell into this. This ain't going away. No, he's gonna like this. I'm okay with it. That's him.

[Toledo]

I like Death News.

[John Holmberg]

Getting to know him and knowing he likes cripples, he likes breastfeeding, and now this.

[Toledo]

So would it be back in the day, Death News.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this over time. People have been dying since the beginning.

[Toledo]

That's. That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's basically. This new segment is called. And now this.

[Brady Bogan]

New ways to Die.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, no, they're really old ways to die.

[Brady Bogan]

This one's two years older. 1979.

[Brett Vesley]

We're gonna get back to Hoffman.

[Brady Bogan]

John Bowen, 20 years old from Nashua, New Hampshire, was attending a halftime show at a football game in Shea Stadium.

[John Holmberg]

Used to play football in Chase stadium. That was 50 years ago.

[Brady Bogan]

During the event, it featured a novelty and custom made remote control flying machines.

[John Holmberg]

Basically, because those used to be.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, this drone was in the shape of a lawnmower. Accidentally dived into the stands and the sharp blade striking bow. And another spectator.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. It wasn't in the head shaped like a lawnmower. It was. Was a running lawnmower.

[Brady Bogan]

It was basically. They have a little picture of it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, that's a drawing.

[Brady Bogan]

No, picture of the.

[John Holmberg]

That is not an actual picture. It's not an actual photo. Somebody help me out with that.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not it.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a lawn mower superimposed over trees.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just a Stratton up there or what?

[John Holmberg]

It.

[Toledo]

That's not the one.

[John Holmberg]

It's not.

[Toledo]

That's not the one.

[John Holmberg]

Are you okay? You thought that was the actual shot? That's not even a halftime show.

[Brady Bogan]

It might have been a picture of how it looked like or. I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if you just take a lawnmower and put it hovering above in a picture, it's gonna be. Why would they fly a lawnmower at a halftime show?

[Brady Bogan]

They're flying all sorts of objects at this halftime show. Did you listen to the story we.

[John Holmberg]

Have to do the. Yeah, I did. But did you. It's crazy. Like you're believing that this is a possibility and then you show us this drawing as evidence. Would you just hand me a tapestry?

[Brady Bogan]

This one's a little older. Brett.

[Brett Vesley]

How far back are we going?

[John Holmberg]

You are killing it today.

[Brady Bogan]

Cygurd the Mighty.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brady Bogan]

Sigurd the Mighty, 892 AD.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh great.

[John Holmberg]

This just in.

[Brady Bogan]

He beheaded in a rival village. He was a Viking. He was the second Viking Earl of Orkney, which is northern Scotland. And he basically beheaded a guy that was in a rival tribe. And he tied the guy's head to his horse. And as he was riding the horse, the guys the beheaded the head. Basically the teeth, scraped his legs, infected his leg. He died of the affection.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the head fell off onto a guy.

[Brady Bogan]

The head was strapped onto the horse and he was riding around this dude's head up and he scraped his legs.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody died of infection back then. By the way, Kyle said, didn't Brady call this death news or ways to die? And then his first story was a dude who didn't die.

[Brady Bogan]

The one guy did die. The other guy survived.

[John Holmberg]

No, the one in the pool.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, he died.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he did die. Well, eventually, because it was 50 years ago. Did he die?

[Brady Bogan]

He was still. I mean, he was alive enough to say, how bad am I?

[John Holmberg]

And then he kind of took off.

[Brady Bogan]

His shoe and then they got him the hospital. He died right when he got the hospital.

[John Holmberg]

You sure of that?

[Toledo]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, we might, we might. Oh, Brady, an apology.

[John Holmberg]

All right. No, the lawnmower thing is real. But that wasn't the pick. Well, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

But that is not it. That's not a halftime show. Dumb dumb.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, dumb dumb.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, dumb dumb. I don't see where there are any people there getting killed by that flying lawnmower. I didn't say flying lawnmowers weren't a thing. But that picture was not where you thought it was.

[Brady Bogan]

They're using that. That's the example of what the one was used.

[John Holmberg]

But you held that up to me. I'm like, well, that's not it.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I think that was it.

[John Holmberg]

A lawnmower in the air look like a cruddy picture.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that picture is the remote. You're dumb dumb.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, cuz that was a halftime show. You know, it was a football game for trees there. All the crowd were pines. We got trouble brewing.

[Brady Bogan]

That's your death news, jackasses.

[John Holmberg]

On fire, I tell you. On fire. Yeah, there you go. There's some real stuff. Toledo did a little research and found that they were flying some remote control planes. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. Now I'm struggling with the idea that it was a lawnmower that was on. I'm guessing it was a propeller.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a propelled. It was a lawnmower that could fly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but the lawnmower wasn't what killed the guy. They didn't fire up the lawnmower.

[Brady Bogan]

It was the blades.

[John Holmberg]

Right? The propellers. Yeah, yeah, but not the lawn. Not. It wasn't a flying, functional lawnmower that they just said, fire it up and fly it over people.

[Toledo]

I mean, and the. The flying lawnmower that he showed had a propeller in the front.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what killed the guy, Right? Could have been a pig.

[Toledo]

This one. The propeller's in the front.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, it could have been.

[Brady Bogan]

Would you say it's a flying lawnmower?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, but. Yeah, but we were under the impression. Because I said to you, no, not the lawnmower plates. That's where we get confused, because that's where I asked. I said, they turned the lawnmower on. And he said, yeah, like, no, but there was a propeller. Could have been an underdog.

[Brady Bogan]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

The propeller would have killed someone. But the fact that it was a lawnmower is the iron. Very strange.

[Brady Bogan]

There you have it. Case closed. Case closed. It isn't.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez, they're very confusing today. It's fun. It's more fun. Okay, don't get crotchety just because you struggle to make sense sometimes. And we're responding as the audience would, going, what the is he talking about? Am I wrong?

[Brett Vesley]

We have death news tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're doing an hour and a half of death news. I just called Frank and John and told them not to come.

[Brady Bogan]

Let me do some research.

[Toledo]

Said, why now?

[Brett Vesley]

Why start now?

[John Holmberg]

See, it's not just us. What the f is Brady talking about? This is definitely not a moment of clarity for Pop Pop. Signed Maxwell. We're just speaking for the audience. You weren't making a lot of sense, so we had to clear it up.

[Brady Bogan]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what makes you still don't believe it.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you for clearing that up.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we have to, Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the thing.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get mad at us. I appreciate it. Don't get grumpy with us for having questions and you don't have. Then we have more questions. We don't just accept it at face value. Like that drawing you showed us of that thing. Flying through the forest. You mean this drawing?

[Brady Bogan]

Flying lawnmower.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a drawing. It's some sort of super.

[Brady Bogan]

On the front of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's a picture of the lawnmower. And they've superimposed it. Yeah, they've superimposed it over a force. That's not the actual thing you were telling us happened. You said it was at a halftime show.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm sorry, it was inaccurate.

[John Holmberg]

No, I knew immediately that wasn't what you were talking about. That's all. It's questions. You held it up as if this was proof. I said they flew that over people. And you went. Yep. And you showed me a picture of a lawnmower over trees.

[Toledo]

Picture a court of law.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And you present that.

[John Holmberg]

The jury's gonna be like, this guy's all over the place. All over the road. It's more fun this way.

[Brady Bogan]

Along with the sketches.

[John Holmberg]

Sketches are fun. Don't get mad, get even. All right, go ahead now. Here's your crippled stuff.

[Toledo]

Go to.

[John Holmberg]

He's flying.

[Brady Bogan]

It might be AI. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Don't be grouchy.

[Toledo]

I don't think it is.

[John Holmberg]

It's more fun this way. Play along. She's got no. No nose at all. Literally has no nose at all. She's my dream face. No holes where the nose should be either.

[Toledo]

How's she. Don't you need the nasal passages to sing, John?

[John Holmberg]

Is it way up there by her? I don't see her brow.

[Toledo]

I don't see any holes.

[John Holmberg]

This noseless lady's got a great tongue.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett's gonna look.

[John Holmberg]

Peek under there. Look at her hands.

[Brett Vesley]

Whoa.

[Toledo]

Those are long ET fingers.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. No holes where that is either. Just a.

[Brady Bogan]

Could be in the roof of her mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Could be.

[Brady Bogan]

Or she's breathing through her cloud.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a beautiful voice for.

[Brett Vesley]

Sign her up for the Wake Up Song.

[Brady Bogan]

Get her together with DJ Bathsheba.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

We might have seen this guy before, but he eats ramen noodles through his face.

[Toledo]

He puts out more multiple videos.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this guy. It's a crippled guy with. Got a big hole in his face. He's just shoving noodles in it. This is a restaurant Toledo is going to eat in on his next family.

[Brady Bogan]

His tongue works it through there.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a hole in his cheek next to his nose. And he can shove food in there because that's where his tongue lives.

[Toledo]

What does he bite down to? It doesn't look like he has an upper palate.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe the tongue kind of it probably.

[John Holmberg]

Drops down a little bit. It's supposed to be. The roof of his mouth is supposed to be there. So it probably falls down into his mouth from the hole. And that's why his tongue can get out there. Nothing's stopping it. And he's in some lab of some sort. He's got a full HAZMAT gear on from the. Just. Just to eat noodles. He's got gloves and taking a break from his job as well.

[Brady Bogan]

Lunch.

[John Holmberg]

A janitor. All right, guy.

[Brady Bogan]

The next one shooting a drone. It's not a lawnmower.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Just firing at a drone. Is this, like, somewhere in Idaho and it's just getting an Amazon delivery? Oh, it is. It's wardrobe.

[Brett Vesley]

Neat.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. It took 20 shots. Nice job.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why you get to take that thing out. It's loaded.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. It's got explos. Here it comes. Who's gonna win this fight? Should not be a bird hunter. That thing's not going very fast. That dude shot 30 times.

[Brett Vesley]

So you have to go to MMP Guns. Buy some more ammo at this rate.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. No wonder this war is costing so much money. They're just wasting it. All right, Brett, get us ready.

[Brett Vesley]

All right. We actually may have one or two here that could be added from today.

[John Holmberg]

Not sure.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

We'll make the top 10. All right, let's see.

[Brett Vesley]

That's so many.

[John Holmberg]

I like this one. God, Brett and I saw so many buttholes yesterday.

[Brett Vesley]

Like this.

[Brady Bogan]

This is.

[John Holmberg]

Here's one.

[Brady Bogan]

This is.

[John Holmberg]

Some sort of weird sex toys falling out of this lady's body. Down, straight down.

[Brett Vesley]

Let's just wait. There's more.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's gonna be. This is huge. Two hours later, still coming out. It's huge. And that. Oh, my gosh. But wait, there's more. Is it two? Holy cow. We're at about three feet right now. Four feet. And then it finally falls out. That was all the way from butt to neck.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That thing was way in there.

[Toledo]

Twisting and turning her small intestine.

[John Holmberg]

Go way up there. That was a lot of dildo. Hello.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, Jesus.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[Toledo]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Two arms in one B hole.

[Toledo]

At least it's a female, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, at least they're keeping it biblical. Thanks for that, R. At least it's a female. None of that twink behavior. I won't tolerate that degenerative nonsense.

[Brady Bogan]

Jeez.

[John Holmberg]

He pulled his hands.

[Brett Vesley]

Hey, that one could possibly make it.

[John Holmberg]

Pull his hands out. Look like somebody.

[Brady Bogan]

You're not allowed to put that one.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody Squashed a bunch of strawberries.

[Brett Vesley]

More food news for Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Six is pretty good. Like, that's.

[John Holmberg]

She's having sex with about nine hot dogs. The big ones, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Those are bangers.

[John Holmberg]

Those are big bangers. She's pregnant as well. Yeah, I just noticed that with you. She's pregnant and having sex with cooked hot dogs. She's got eight glizzies in there and her boyfriend's filming. By the way, it's in the back of a car, too. So, like. Like soft eggs. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

[Toledo]

14 years when you're.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that baby's gonna tumble out of there.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, that tweaker's not gonna make 14 years.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point. That's a good point. Brad makes a strong point. And then Homer comes on and says, uncle.

[Brett Vesley]

And then we'll just finish with this one, okay? It just shows you the fetishes that people find on the Internet.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go. Somebody dressed as a Ninja Turtle with the breasts out eating a pizza. Another Ninja Turtle at the couch. They've gone to great lengths to be in costume.

[Brady Bogan]

True.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty good. No, they're all fat. No, fat women dressed as spray painted as Ninja Turtles.

[Brady Bogan]

Tubular.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And they've edited it. I appreciate that. Oh, now the Ninja Turtles are all masturbating and eating pizza as Ninja Turtles tend to do and enjoying both. This is how Brady eats Brady's pizza. Like this. This is how Brady loves to pie.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, just wait.

[John Holmberg]

All right. They're going for a couple more slices because they are fat. Like I said, no one's bent over one of the turtles. They're just slapping a fat ass with some pizza pie. Snap across your flat ass with a slice. Fat turtle ass right behind the shell. Just hitting her with some cheese pizza. And this is. This is abuse. To the pizza. To the pizza. This is terrible. All right. And he's singing the ninja song from Ninja Rap Vanilla.

[Brett Vesley]

They wanted me to play that for Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, now they're eating. That's the secret of the ooze, dude. Oh, she does impressions.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. That was. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Just destroyed a lot of childhoods.

[Brett Vesley]

Just when you thought you'd seen it all.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna wreck some childhoods. Maybe that one goes up there tonight just for fun.

[Brett Vesley]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I think Lovett's and Caliento can handle that. Anyway. What a treat. That was fun. I enjoyed that. Yeah. Is that Breaking death News gonna be new for 2026? If so, I'm gonna need a schedule the show from Toledo so I can check out during that I. I didn't do well. It's tough. Oh, I like that here. This guy came up with a logo for Brady's new segment called Biblical Time Machine.

[Brett Vesley]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. Go back, work it out. It's good. We liked it. The flying lawnmower is interesting again. The propeller kick. Well don't do that. Don't have prop planes. Remember was it 19G70 something? The bills. The guy crashed a plane. I think it was the Steelers Bills game. Crashed a plane into Rich stadium right after the game ended into a section if it was 20 minutes earlier would have been packed.

[Brady Bogan]

Taking out a bunch of people.

[John Holmberg]

It would have killed tons of people. But a plane crashed into the stadium. There's also a Monday night football game in Buffalo in the early 80s, late 70s where a guy is has decided he's going to just start to shimmy across one of the guy wires that goes from side to side with a camera ran and they didn't stop the game. He hovers above the game and Howard Cosell just keeps going. Eventually Helly the faller get back and they're like don't stop. Nobody cared that he was above the crowd at one point. A 200 pound man could have dropped way he was on the second level. Climbed right over the lower bowl. Could have killed everybody. Gets over the players game keeps going. They'd look up every once in a while. Don Meredith's like he's still up there. Like I know. What a tragedy. It's great.

[Toledo]

Dangerous, disgraceful, absurd was Cosell's quote.

[Brady Bogan]

Apparently.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. And. But they didn't stop a thing nowadays. They'd have cleared out the stadium. They'd have probably droned him down the second half.

[Brady Bogan]

There it is happened to that football game.

[John Holmberg]

It was drone. It's the beginning of the game too. They're still introducing the offensive line and like they got all this OJ's there. The second worst thing that's about to happen to his life.

[Brady Bogan]

Just short.

[John Holmberg]

Oh could be tragic. Unless that's exactly what he's doing because the line is strung completely across the stadium covering we don't know, 80ft above the crowd.

[Brady Bogan]

How will they get him down? Gift. That's the more important question.

[John Holmberg]

Second down. Let's just get on with it. Second down. A little later in the game. Who are they playing? The Giants. A little later in the game he's like over the field and then he shimmies back to the thing. It's the most amazing. And back in, back in that time they didn't care about people. They didn't even clear the section underneath. If he falls, he falls. Keep your keep your eyes up is basically what they told us on the back of your ticket.

[Brady Bogan]

And there is a gentleman in a.

[John Holmberg]

Bit of trouble here at Buffalo where we'll return in just a moment. We gotta get those commercials in. There you go everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. VRBO helps you swap gift wrap time for quality time. Go to VRBO now and book a last minute week long stay and save over $390 this holiday season. Book your next vacation rental home on VRBO. Average savings $396. Select homes only.