Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98 KUPD, Arizona)

Episode: 12-12-25 – FULL SHOW – FRIDAY
Date: December 12, 2025
Main Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This lively Friday edition of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is filled with the show’s signature blend of offbeat stories, irreverent banter, pop culture observations, sports rants, and plenty of adult humor. As the team gears up for their annual year-end “Holmberg After Dark” show, they dive into an eclectic mix of topics: top viral videos, wild conspiracy theories, fruit-flavored cocaine, sports ageism, absurd death stories, and a local comedian guest. The atmosphere is relaxed and festive, with a heavy dose of sarcastic energy and sharp-edged jokes.

Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. The 12 Days of Christmas: Year-End Show Prep

[01:52–04:07]

• The team celebrates being 12 days from Christmas Eve and the start of their annual “12 Days of Christmas” countdown.
• Preps for their year-end "Holmberg After Dark" show with highlights of best and worst videos from the year's “gotta watch” game.
• John assigns Bret the thankless task of combing through hundreds of morbid and explicit videos, joking:

  “This is the worst homework assignment ever.” (John, 02:16)

2. Dale & The Dumbbell Podcast: Conspiracy Craziness

[04:08–16:27]

• John recounts a recent "John Holmberg Podcast" episode with his friends Dale and Dave Nash, notorious for outlandish conspiracy theories.
• Dale claims that after playing an All-Star game in Japan, he landed in Phoenix and watched himself live on TV—thus “proving” time travel.
• Nash chimes in that it "can't be explained," reinforcing the madness.
• John pokes fun at this logic, marveling at the “dumbbells” around him:

  “Imagine being in a room with two people when someone says they think they saw themselves live in Japan when they landed in Philly.” (John, 12:03)

• Brady and John reflect on conspiracy logic: diet soda and alcohol are “okay” for the body, but a vaccine is a bridge too far for some.

Memorable Quotes:

• “That Pentagon one is very confusing.” (John on 9/11, 05:02)
• “So someone invented time travel strictly for the gambling?” (John, 09:07)
• “He thinks that if he goes back to New York, he can make bets on games that he saw earlier today because it hasn’t aired there yet because he’s back in time now.” (John, 13:10)

3. Fruit-Flavored Cocaine & Media Influence

[21:34–27:43]

• The hosts riff on Arizona’s Attorney General’s media crusade against the new “fruit-flavored cocaine”—ironically making it more enticing.
• They joke about candy-flavored drugs, how news reports act as free advertising, and how adults would even be curious.
• The conversation spins off into food, candy, and the irresistibility of Fruity Pebbles in any context.
• Brady mentions the Diddy documentary and its coverage of the drug “2C” (pink cocaine), sparking more satire.

• “Fruit flavored cocaine is a very real thing that I only know about because of the news. That’s it. You are a commercial.”
  (John, 23:23)

4. Sports: Stop Idolizing "Old Men" Comebacks

[41:56–47:19]

• John goes on a rant about the obsession with aging athletes (Philip Rivers, Tom Brady, George Foreman, etc.) making comebacks.
• Argues that these comebacks show a weakness in the current talent pool, not inspiration.
• Jokes about the potential for NFL tragedies if this continues:

  “He’s going to go out there and you’re going to watch an old man die. And that’s what’s going to have to stop this. And maybe I’m… I’m rooting for that this weekend.” (John, 42:56)

5. FIFA World Cup & Gender Pay Gap

[47:19–50:29]

• John highlights FIFA’s staggering $80 billion revenue, comparing it to countries’ GDP.
• He uses the disparity between men’s and women’s World Cup earnings as an example of economic, not gendered, inequality.

• “If you made $80 at a lemonade stand and I made $6, why would we split that evenly?” (John, 48:48)

6. Alpine Manslaughter? The Ethics of Leaving Someone on the Mountain

[50:00–56:33]

• The hosts debate the case of a man in Austria facing jail time for leaving his girlfriend behind on a mountain climb because her gear wasn’t good enough.
• Satirical discussion of “the climbing code”—Brady humorously bluffs his expertise.
• John’s take:

  “If you say yes to climbing a Swiss Alp, you’re in on it. You’re not my responsibility.” (John, 62:04)

7. Death News: Unusual Demises Through History

[98:01–104:49]

• New segment alert—Brady shares odd, occasionally ancient, death stories, including hot spring accidents and a “flying lawnmower” at a 1979 football halftime show.
• The guys debate the details, poke holes in Brady’s sources (literally: a drawing of a lawnmower hovering over trees).

• “This is definitely not a moment of clarity for Pop Pop.” (John, 106:15)

8. Comedian Jesse ‘Jet Ski’ Johnson Guest Segment

[117:11–139:41]

• Guest: Jesse ‘Jet Ski’ Johnson, local Dobson High grad, now a successful standup comic.
• Discussion of her background, origin of her nickname, journey through sobriety and wild days of cocaine/psychedelics.
• Trivia: She worked production in L.A. on ‘Carpool Karaoke’ and MasterChef.
• Nostalgic shoutouts to high school teachers and encouragement to younger comics, with self-deprecating Dobson High pride.

• “When you get lonely, you do a podcast.” (John, 128:21)

  "Obama made coke better." (Jesse, 130:06)

• Jesse’s words of wisdom:

  "Many opportunities are coming to you if you look for them." (Jesse, 139:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On conspiracy friends:
  “I’ve got to get away from these people. It’s worth listening to, because that moment, you hear the dumb bells start to ring.” (John, 09:01)

• On news about drugs:
  "Now, fruit flavored cocaine—attorney general here in Arizona is starting to talk about a lot on TV. And if you just shut up about it, no kids would be... Now suddenly, ‘Oh, it tastes like Fruity Pebbles!’" (John, 21:47)

• On gender pay in sports:
  “If you made $80 at a lemonade stand and I made $6, you wouldn't even consider splitting it.” (John, 48:48)

• On death news:
  "Brady’s basically—this new segment is called, and now this: New Ways to Die. Well, no, they're really old ways to die." (John, 100:32)

TIMESTAMPS FOR IMPORTANT SEGMENTS

| Time | Segment | |--------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:51–04:07 | Year-end show prep, top 10 videos setup | | 04:08–16:27 | Dale & the dumbbell time travel & conspiracy theories | | 21:34–27:43 | Fruit-flavored cocaine and media coverage satire | | 41:56–47:19 | Anti-old-man-comeback-in-sports rant | | 47:19–50:29 | FIFA, sports economics, gender pay gap | | 50:00–56:33 | Alpine “manslaughter” debate, outdoor adventure ethics | | 98:01–104:49 | “Death news” – wild historical death stories segment | | 117:11–139:41| Comedian Jesse ‘Jet Ski’ Johnson interview |

Tone & Style

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness thrives on raucous, unfiltered banter, heavy sarcasm, pop culture references, and a willingness to take every topic to its irreverent limit. The crew moves rapidly between subjects with quick improvisations, running jokes, and callbacks to previous bits. This episode leans hard into absurdity (conspiracy talk, satire of drug coverage), sports culture lampooning, and cheerful self-mockery.

Additional Highlights

• Multiple callbacks to regular features ("Identify the Perp", “Gotta Watch” videos).
• Ongoing meta-jokes about Brady’s taste for bizarre news—especially anything with death, deformities, or food.
• The hosts skewer media, government, and trends like candy-flavored drugs, flavored Gatorade, and the news’ “moral panic” effect.
• Anecdotes about childhood, school reunions, and failed attempts at being athletic or adventurous.
• Playful rivalry between the Dobson High grads, with Jesse ‘Jet Ski’ Johnson and John Holmberg engaging in mutual boosting and lighthearted trash talk.
• Heavy use of hypothetical “what if?” logic, leading to often ridiculous conclusions.

In Summary

This show delivers the fast-paced, uncensored, Arizona-accented humor that has made HMS a fixture. From skewering conspiracies and media hysteria to exploring weird internet deaths and reliving high school memories, the cast keeps the conversation wild, unpredictable, and riotously self-aware. The Jesse ‘Jet Ski’ Johnson guest spot adds a refreshing, honest glimpse into the life of a young comedian on the climb, blending nostalgia, inspiration, and laughs.

Best for fans of: irreverent morning radio, local sports satire, and those who enjoy dark humor with a dash of pop culture cynicism.