12-15-25 - Frank Caliendo Joins In And Tells Us His Experience w/Being Fired How He Felt The After Dark Show Went And Thoughts On Cardinals Ownership

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness — Frank Caliendo Joins In (12-15-25)

Overview

Main Theme:
Comedian and master impressionist Frank Caliendo visits the HMS studio for a wide-ranging, candid, and hilarious chat. The episode dives into the experience of being fired in show business, behind-the-scenes stories from TV and radio, a debrief of the wild recent "After Dark" live show, and honest commentary about Arizona Cardinals' ownership woes. The conversation is frank, brisk, and filled with comedic banter and impressions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Art of Being Fired in Showbiz

• Frank’s Exit from Fox

  • Frank details how his contract at Fox was not renewed, and how he could sense the writing on the wall — especially compared to years prior when renewal was a sure thing.
  • “Each time before, when the contract was up, they were begging me… They weren’t begging me that time.” — Frank Caliendo [02:20]
  • Reflects on the pressure to keep recycling impressions: "They’d be like, ‘How about Andy Rooney?’ I’m like, ‘He died three weeks ago!’" — Frank Caliendo [02:45]

• Who Reaches Out After You’re Fired?

  • Frank shares that after leaving Fox, only Jay Glazer said anything; Terry Bradshaw and the others did not reach out.
  • "Terry's like, 'I don't even remember him. I think I have CTA...'" — Frank Caliendo (impersonating Bradshaw) [04:45]

• Transition to ESPN

  • Frank was never officially fired from ESPN, since he didn't want to stay: “I fired myself! ...You didn’t break up with me, I broke up with you.” — Frank Caliendo [06:35]
  • Comments on creative frustration at ESPN; how the best bits were "inside" jokes, which executives never seemed to appreciate.

• Holmberg’s Radio Firing Story

  • John shares his own story of being pre-warned about getting fired and deliberately pushing the envelope on-air to accelerate the process.
  • “We spent a minute and a half simulating fellatio on the air, trying to get fired earlier in the week.” — John Holmberg [09:27]
  • He was eventually rehired after the station realized their mistake.
  • Discussion about why radio studios never have locking doors — so no one can lock in after learning they’re being let go.

• General Reflection

  • Frank: “Everybody…eventually, 99.9% of the time, gets fired from something in this business.” [12:12]
  • Commentary on creative burnout, difficulties of pitching new ideas to executives who only want “what worked before,” and the value of having stand-up as a fallback.

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2. Behind the Curtain: The ‘After Dark’ Live Show

• Debrief and Banter

  • The group recaps the wild Stand Up Live “After Dark” show: audience reactions, edgy content, and backstage antics with fellow comedians Jon Lovitz and Kato Kaelin.
  • Holmberg: "You did some stuff you would not normally have done." — [16:01]
  • Frank teases John for allegedly starting the night filthy: “Everything that came out of your mouth was filthy.” — Frank Caliendo [16:14]
  • Ongoing riff about a “vaginal mesh” joke and how some audience members reacted with shock.

• Audience and Backstage Energy

  • Descriptions of hardcore fans vs. newcomers and discomfort during certain video segments.
  • "There were people looking down at their foreheads, like 'Get me out!'" — Frank Caliendo [18:40]
  • Backstage, Lovitz feigns disinterest but is clearly engaged, "throwing popcorn in like the Bill Hader meme." [19:18]

• Celebrity Guests and On-stage Moments

  • Lovitz wanted his New Year's Eve plug before Frank's, out of ego.
  • Jay Pharaoh was originally slated; Lovitz as a 'backup guest' became the running gag of the night.
  • Cato Kaelin’s willingness to take all jokes, except about O.J. — “When you do the O.J., every time, he’s like, it is just… eerily…” — Frank Caliendo [23:47]

• Impression Showcases

  • Frank and John riff several impressions, from John Madden to O.J. Simpson and Donald Trump throughout.
  • Memorable moment: post-show audience saying, "When Clinton blew Trump, we were dying!" — John Holmberg [25:33]

• Chris Turner’s Freestyle Rap

  • The praise for British comic Chris Turner’s improv rap set closes out the segment.
  • "That guy is brilliant… called you Brody, which was funny." — Frank Caliendo [26:08]

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3. Arizona Cardinals Ownership & Team Woes

• Blunt Assessment

  • Holmberg seeds a fiery sports talk segment: "Assess the Cardinals. What would you do if you were GM?"
  • Frank’s satirical take: "Offer to retire. It doesn’t look good." — Frank Caliendo [26:53]
  • Kyler Murray's contract and future discussed — "They gotta pay $30 million just..." [27:04]

• Ownership Problems

  • Discussion lands squarely on team owner Michael Bidwill: "Isn’t the revamping Bidwell? He has to leave, right?" — John Holmberg [27:15]
  • Frank’s Trump/Jerry Jones impression: “I will be here for eternity and plus one.” [27:48]
  • Holmberg: "The one thing synonymous with Cardinal failure is the name Bidwell." [30:01]
  • Family-owned NFL team failures compared: Raiders (Mark Davis) and Colts (Irsay).

• Billionaire Psychology

  • Discussion on how billionaires-turned-team-owners become isolated from honest feedback.
  • Frank shares an anecdote from a Trump Tower taping. Trump, frustrated, asks: “Was that good?” and only receives sycophantic praise.
  • Caliendo: “[Trump said] No, Frank, that’s part of the problem. I can’t get real answers.” [32:57]

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4. Neighborhood Life & Homeowners’ Associations (HOAs)

• HOA Anecdotes

  • Frank’s wife is now the HOA president; stories of former “dictator” HOA president leaving passive-aggressive notes.
  • Frank: "Does anyone ever tell her she's not great? I do and it gets me in trouble." [34:26]
  • Amusing debate about paint colors, privacy vs. security gates, and neighbors’ opinions.
  • John: "Paint your house whatever color you want. Just don't paint my house." [35:45]

• The Value (and Annoyance) of HOAs

  • Jokes about HOAs working like the mafia—"That's a very nice way to put it." — Frank Caliendo [40:34]
  • John aspires to "dismantle" the HOA and make personal responsibility more important.
  • Frank: "It's a dream. Won't happen." [41:14]

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• "Everybody…eventually, 99.9% of the time, gets fired from something in this business."
  — Frank Caliendo [12:12]

• “We spent a minute and a half simulating fellatio on the air, trying to get fired earlier in the week.”
  — John Holmberg [09:27]

• "Each time before, when the contract was up, they were begging me… They weren’t begging me that time."
  — Frank Caliendo (about Fox) [02:20]

• "Terry's like, 'I don't even remember him. I think I have CTA...'"
  — Frank Caliendo (as Terry Bradshaw) [04:45]

• "I fired myself! ...You didn’t break up with me, I broke up with you."
  — Frank Caliendo (on ESPN) [06:35]

• "Does anyone ever tell her she's not great? I do and it gets me in trouble."
  — Frank Caliendo (about his wife, the HOA president) [34:26]

• "Isn’t the revamping Bidwell? He has to leave, right?"
  — John Holmberg [27:15]

• "I will be here for eternity and plus one."
  — Frank Caliendo (as Jerry Jones/Trump parody) [27:48]

• "No, Frank, that’s part of the problem. I can’t get real answers."
  — Frank Caliendo quoting Donald Trump [32:57]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:34] — Frank arrives, conversation starts
• [02:09-04:25] — Frank describes Fox firing, pressure to repeat impressions
• [06:15-08:05] — ESPN exit and creative differences
• [09:27-11:25] — Holmberg's notorious radio firing stunt
• [12:12-13:21] — Reflections on being fired in entertainment
• [16:01-21:00] — After Dark show debrief, on-stage/green room antics, Lovitz and Kato Kaelin
• [25:33-26:08] — Clinton-Trump sketch, Chris Turner’s improv rap
• [26:42-32:05] — Cardinals as a franchise, ownership failings, and billionaire egos
• [32:24-33:03] — Trump Tower story: candor and sycophants in power
• [33:55-36:44] — Presidential ego and HOA anecdotes
• [40:32-41:14] — Jokes about HOAs, mafia comparisons, neighborhood politics

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Tone & Language

• The conversation is riffing, irreverent, and peppered with impressions.
• The mood bounces between self-deprecating honesty (about career lows) and sharply funny mockery (of celebrity egos, corporate leadership, sports owners, and petty neighbor squabbles).
• Interactions are collegial, with running in-jokes and mutual roasting among Frank, John, and frequent appearances by celebrity “voices.”

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

If you didn’t catch this episode, you missed a tour through the highs and lows of comedic careers, a raucous and revealing behind-the-curtain look at live radio and stage shows, and unfiltered opinions about ownership in professional sports. Frank Caliendo shines as always with spot-on impressions and open talk about the realities of show business (and homeowners’ associations!). The banter is lightning fast, and the laughs—and insight—are nonstop.

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For specific impressions, comedic bits, or insider stories, check timestamps above to jump right in.

Transcript

[Frank Caliendo]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here.

[John Holmberg]

With Byron from MMP Guns.

[Frank Caliendo]

Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that? Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Frank Caliendo]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple. There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms, feed a family, make a kid happy, and win a new car.

[John Holmberg]

It's the 25th anniversary of Operation Santa Claus, presented by Sanders and Ford. Sanders and Lincoln, U haul and ABC15. Make a donation of food, new toys, child size clothing or money and you could win a new Ford F150 truck or Lincoln Corsair SUV. For more info, go to givetothecloth.com.

[Frank Caliendo]

Lincoln and ABC15.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] thank you, Miles to nowhere. There's our theme song once again. Two more days of that and then it all goes away for next year's new song. And look who's here. Frank Caliendo just wandered into the studio because I forgot he was supposed to come in. That's how little I care about this week. This is it.

[Frank Caliendo]

I had an appointment. Yeah, I made an appointment. Now you guys didn't do a follow up call to check to make sure I was coming in, so I should have thoughts on there. Rich and I had communicated.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's usually. Well, he usually should tell me, don't you think?

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, I've noticed that doesn't always.

[John Holmberg]

No, it doesn't. You know, it's. It's the worst to go to a doctor's office and have the doctor look up for Ms. Desk and go, what are you doing here? That's kind of what that was. But I'm glad you're here. Frank Caliendo's here. And basically we were talking about we had some firings here on Friday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, no, that's bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just I want to see if I could get you to Say that.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's fine. It's part of the business. Have you ever been fired from anything?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Fox.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, they fired you.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you quit.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, it was. The contract was up, so it was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's not an ugly. Come into your office, sit down, I need to talk to you.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, but they were. They. Each time before when the contract was up, they wanted to do their. Like, they were begging me, and they weren't begging me that time. So I was like, oh, maybe I could do one more year. And it was right after I did the Trump with Trump sketch at Trump Tower.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

In New York. And it had gone over pretty well. I was like, okay, I think I could do this one more year. Because they didn't know what impressions. They always had to force the impression. They couldn't do anything other than that. So they kept coming up with suggestions, like, how about Andy Rooney? I'm like, he died three weeks ago. We've done that so many times. How about I do a Jay Glazer bit? You know, come out and look like Ram man from He Man. You guys. Unbelievable. You guys. You guys want to go lift. You guys want to go lift some weights? So, yes, I knew that was kind of weird. And then my manager at the time called Fox and they did. They thought he was pitching somebody else because he was a newer manager for me. And they, like, somebody behind the scenes said, oh, we're done with that guy, or something.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, you found out the fun way.

[Frank Caliendo]

So my manager calls me and goes, yeah, it doesn't sound like they want to do that, but they don't want to say, you're not coming back yet. I was like, so what does that mean? Well, they don't have anybody to replace you.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have a life raft.

[Frank Caliendo]

So they don't want. I go, well, I'm done then. I don't want to be. If they don't want me, they're going to make it hard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I was like, for the few years before that, I was always like, I don't know if I want to do this. I just don't know what else there is to do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

And they kept. Every time I'd try to come up with something new, they'd want to go, I'd try and bring you in or something like that. And they'd be like, no, let's just do Andy Rooney again. And I was like, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

You should have done him three weeks after he died. Like, Andy Rooney in the casket.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was pretty close. It was. Do you ever wonder if you can hear in the afterlife? Everything I understand is going on right now.

[John Holmberg]

Do you ever notice I have the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Same eyebrows as John Madden? Especially after the embalming?

[John Holmberg]

I would have loved that. See, that's great. So also with the firing, because when Fitz was let go Friday week.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, Fitz was let go.

[John Holmberg]

Fitz was let go.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that makes me sad.

[John Holmberg]

I know. It kind of stinks, right? So, you know, you do the texting. Everybody works together. Like, this sucks. I hate that this is happening. Whatever. When you were at Fox, did Terry and the guys reach out to you?

[Frank Caliendo]

Glazer said something. Terry's like, I. I don't even remember him. I think I have cta, the Chicago Trans.

[John Holmberg]

Which one was Frank?

[Frank Caliendo]

Which I was.

[John Holmberg]

He.

[Frank Caliendo]

The little guy looked like a boneball when he smiled. He's so fat, you can't see his eyes anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yeah. Nobody reached. They didn't.

[Frank Caliendo]

Didn't you do one with Glazer where he comes out of the pocket?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's so tiny.

[Frank Caliendo]

Did he get upset at that? I think I did that joke. I don't know if I know Glazer would do.

[John Holmberg]

No, I helped you with that one year he was in.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't even remember.

[John Holmberg]

That was because I was like, just pull him out of the pocket.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And you held Glazer in your hand.

[Frank Caliendo]

I knew I wanted to put him as an ornament on a tree once.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because he got mad. We're the same size. He was mad because.

[Frank Caliendo]

What is this all about? What is this? What is this, anyway? Why am I talking, like, Bobby Slayton and Rudy Giuliani? Oh, there it is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Same thing, same guys. Yeah. Yes. That with that one I loved. Because you did it. And it was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I had like a. Like a. Like a super suit on, too. Like, it was like a massive. It was funny suit. Like five. And then they didn't want to do stuff again. They're like, it's too inside. I'm like, what? The whole thing is the inside. Yeah. And when I went to espn, it was all inside. And that's the only stuff that worked. They wanted to do. Like, they were. They. Oh, you Want to try Dr. Phil? Try it. Nobody. Everybody hate it. The Dr. Phil was the easy one to go to at Fox because you could just do jokes. Knock, knock. Mr. Terry Bradshaw.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you didn't get fired from ESPN?

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, because I. That was one I didn't even want to do. And I told Them I didn't want to do. And then when they had the big layoffs, the boss called me and said, sorry, we're not going to do this anymore. I go, I already told you, I'm not doing it anymore. So I kind of got fired after. After it was, you know.

[John Holmberg]

You fired yourself.

[Frank Caliendo]

You didn't break up with me.

[John Holmberg]

We're breaking up with you. And then they confirmed that the.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was one where I told him, hey, if we do this, I don't want to have a contract. Let's just do one at a time. And when he calls me, he said, yeah, I know you're not really doing this, but you're not doing this. I was like, well, but that's. That's fine. I don't even. I wasn't even, like, upset about it. He's like, but if we want to use you for something, would you still want to do it? I said, yeah, probably. If it was something good. I just don't want to do it consistently because it just doesn't work. Right, right. And then he was like, yeah. I'm like, well, that's the thing I suggested two months ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We were going to do this while. I remember working on that stuff with you at espn. And your frustration was, nobody gets anything I'm doing. And then the editing's terrifying.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. There were times. There were some that were fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there was a couple.

[Frank Caliendo]

The 30 for 30.

[John Holmberg]

Outstanding.

[Frank Caliendo]

You came over and helped write that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was the Richard Sherman.

[Frank Caliendo]

The Richard Sherman thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it already had all the middle pieces. And then you kind of had a couple ideas for weaving it together. I was like, oh, that's brilliant. What if I told you that, you know, the what if I told you part?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't remember. I just know you did 40 different people in that. It was outstanding.

[Frank Caliendo]

According to my sources at this particular time, it appears that we have no ending to this. They truly believe. That was when I came up with Jaws.

[John Holmberg]

That was fun, though. And that was the one.

[Frank Caliendo]

You saw Jaws happen? Because I didn't have Jaws yet. It was that room.

[John Holmberg]

Once they get the makeup on you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Then it was on.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was weird to watch, but it was fun. Yeah. We were screwing around. That was 10 years ago. @.

[Frank Caliendo]

Least. No more than that. Was it.

[John Holmberg]

25? Yeah, 25. Happy anniversary. Years ago. Happy anniversary to that. I got fired at the radio station before I worked here. The guys that worked. No, no, no, no. I didn't know. I didn't work there. I'm straight. So it's true. So I doing mornings at the Zone, and the guy across the hall was a guy named Danny Davis, and he's awesome as.

[Frank Caliendo]

This. Wasn't he a referee in the.

[John Holmberg]

Wwe? It was that, too. Yeah. No, he. He was a manager heel. He gets into the management role, and he comes in, he opens the door to the studio on a Monday, and he was this kind of just straight to the point. Had a big limp. He broke his leg 18 places once, and he never recovered. Right. So it was this.

[Frank Caliendo]

Weird. It's good that he didn't do like a 7 18, 8 18. Isn't it like a.

[John Holmberg]

Half. Like, it was six inches shortened or he. He was still fast. Walked real fast, like Popeye. Yeah. And he swung the door open on a Monday. I got my headphones half on, ready to go on the air. He looks at me and he goes, you're fired on Friday. I'm not supposed to tell you. My manager. And the door shuts like, what? He goes, yeah, they're getting ready on Friday. Like, oh, all right. Well, let's force the issue here, because I didn't want to work there anymore anyway. So I did. This was when who Wants to Be a Millionaire was super hot. And I did Regis Philbin offering a fourth. Fourth Lifeline, kind of what he.

[Frank Caliendo]

Did to you on.

[John Holmberg]

Friday. Yeah, Friday night. Fourth Lifeline where I said, you don't know the answer to the question, and there's nothing we can do about that. You're out of Lifelines. And my producer's like, yeah, and I guess I'm going to lose the million. What if I told you there was a way? And he says, what if you blow Big Daddy right now? And we spent a minute and a half simulating fellatio on the air, trying to get fired earlier in the week. And I don't. I wish I could find a tape of this, because the door swings open and the new program director looks at me, goes, we're lose our license. And I'm like, there's only one thing to do. Then I think, I don't know what you're doing. I'm like, sorry. And meanwhile, it's on the air, just, oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the stuff. Big Daddy in your.

[Frank Caliendo]

Mouth. How about.

[John Holmberg]

That? And it was just a minute and a half of that. And then I gave him the million dollars just for the bj. And I got on the intercom all day, and I'm like, I'm only gonna be here till 12. Let's get this over with. And the guy was scared to death. Me. And he walked by the office. I'm like, chris, now. Fire me now. And then he calls me into his office the next morning. We need to talk. I'm like, you're gonna fire me? I've known all week. Just do it. Well, we've decided to let you go. Worst thing for that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Guy. I haven't heard anything since you said, what if I told you there was a.

[John Holmberg]

Road? What if I told you there was a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Way? Okay, keep going. I'm trying to catch.

[John Holmberg]

Up. And then six months later, that very same guy that fired me had to come get me because the research said they'd made a mistake. And they brought me back. Oh, it was a great moment. That was my. That's the highlight of all that stuff is what? Because they always research everything after. Like, you shouldn't have done that. And then they came back, and I'm like, you gotta give me more money. And I'm doing. And they did, and I didn't want them to. And they did it. And then I, I, I guess I sucked out for the money and went back in. But they never talked about Regis again. It was, it was the worst thing he'd ever heard. I can't believe you're doing this. And I'm like, I don't want to work here. You don't want.

[Frank Caliendo]

Me. That's why you don't. You don't let anybody know. And that's why you just say as soon as it's time, you just go. You just take your stuff and get out of.

[John Holmberg]

Here. Yeah, well, we talked about it. All the doors on studios in every place in America, they will not lock because if guy finds out he's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Getting fired, oh, he likes.

[John Holmberg]

Himself. Lock him up and go. And usually, most of the time.

[Frank Caliendo]

They usually do it after the.

[John Holmberg]

Shift. Yeah. Or right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Before.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. But, yeah, it's weird. Firings are a weird thing because everybody's been around it, and it's never like. But everybody, like, who stays is somehow a Benedict Arnold to the situation. Like, you know, I would love that to be true. That I'm like, ah, Fitz is gone. We're all going. We're leaving together. No, I want my check. But it's not, it's not that I hate someone who we lost. Just the business. It sucks. But.

[Frank Caliendo]

It'S. But Everybody. You eventually, 99.9% of the time, get fired from something. Oh, yeah. Business. Like, you have to. Whether your show doesn't get, like. Even when my show didn't get picked Up. I knew, you know, I got that call, but I was like, man, this was. That was hard. That was a lot of work. And the president of the network sounded disappointed when I didn't react like.

[John Holmberg]

More. We're going to have to not renew your show.

[Frank Caliendo]

Frank. Yeah. I was like, yeah, it's a lot of work. He's like.

[John Holmberg]

What? I didn't sign up for that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. He's like. And he's just like, what do you. What do you mean? I go, well, I was just difficult to do that much. We're shooting 10 pages a day or whatever it is. That's like twice as much as normal because I have to be in everything. I'm trying to get other people and stuff. So I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T. And on top of it, you're still doing shows. You're still doing standup at the time, because you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Were. Well, that's the problem when you have stand up to fall back.

[John Holmberg]

On.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. You don't care about the other stuff because you can just go do it. And they. People don't like that when you have that kind of. I don't even want to use it as a bargaining chip. It's more that you just. You're not desperate. Hey, I like doing it, but I don't need you. Yeah. It's just like, I can go do whatever I have been doing my whole, you know, professional.

[John Holmberg]

Career. Well, TV executives and radio executives are very similar in that they think that they are the only game in.

[Frank Caliendo]

Town. Yeah. But they're also. The commonality, too, is the focus.

[John Holmberg]

Groups. Oh, yeah. Well, they're constantly going after the. They've drowned themselves in information and they feel like that everyone's paying attention. It's the one you tell them like, you're out, I'll go get something else. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine with that. And it's a weird kind of, are you kidding me? Like, they act like, what are you going to do without us? I'm like, this business, how are.

[Frank Caliendo]

You going to survive.

[John Holmberg]

Frank? Right. And it's the mentality that employees sometimes have of this place will die without me. And the executives all feel like, well, you should be devastated. You're not working for us. Nobody. Nobody really cares. It's just a. You just got to get through your world. Mary. Effing Holidays from the Big Red Radio, it's John Holbrooke from the morning sickness. And football season is in full swing. And Underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Playing on Underdog is easy. Just pick whether your favorite player is going to go higher or lower on stats like rushing yards, receptions, touchdowns. This week I'm looking at my Steelers and I am selecting Darnell Washing to go higher than one touchdown and hoping that Lamar Jackson goes lower on rushing yards. Download the app today. Sign up with promo code HMS to score a hundred dollars in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms._dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. in New York, call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY.

[Frank Caliendo]

467369. It's Brett Vesley from Homework's Morning.

[John Holmberg]

Sickness. Now, I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own.

[Frank Caliendo]

Lawn. That's until I found Divine Design.

[John Holmberg]

Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical Mo and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work and that's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just what I needed to finally throw.

[John Holmberg]

In the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do.

[Frank Caliendo]

It yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design.

[John Holmberg]

Landscaping. These gu Lawn care irrigation tree.

[Frank Caliendo]

Work, low voltage lighting 3D.

[John Holmberg]

Designs. Get a free quote at DivineDesign Lawn Care.com that's DivineDesign Lawn Care.com Homeburg's morning sickness Anyway, well, I'm glad you've you've not been fired.

[Frank Caliendo]

Anymore. No, it'll.

[John Holmberg]

Happen. You think? Yeah. From.

[Frank Caliendo]

What.

[John Holmberg]

Life? I don't know. Friday night, I want to thank you. Friday night was awesome over there at Stand Up Live. The end of the year show was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Fantastic. Yeah. What a.

[John Holmberg]

Blast. You did some stuff that you would not normally have.

[Frank Caliendo]

Done. No, I can't. Well, you were filthy to.

[John Holmberg]

Start. I.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was? Oh yeah, you were filthy. You clammed them up one time with. You know what? Everything that came out of your mouth was.

[John Holmberg]

Filthy. That is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not. Everybody was in the background going, this started off.

[John Holmberg]

Dirty. Well, when I walked out on.

[Frank Caliendo]

Stage, it's called Homeburg After.

[John Holmberg]

Dark. There was nothing filthy about.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. Yeah, you know, I told the.

[John Holmberg]

Story of Vaginal the Vaginal mesh.

[Frank Caliendo]

Lady. My point has just been.

[John Holmberg]

Made. Hey, they were doing it on tv. I was trying to watch game.

[Frank Caliendo]

Shows. Just the.

[John Holmberg]

Way. Are you a victim of vaginal mesh failure? I'm like, jesus Christ, I'm eating.

[Frank Caliendo]

Lunch. That means it fell out twice. But they were. They were doing it seriously. And you're.

[John Holmberg]

Making. How can you do that seriously? That's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hilarious. Anyway, I'm not laughing right.

[John Holmberg]

Now. Sure. Maybe it has happened to you. Making my point that if you're upset by vaginal mesh conversations, you're. You're a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Jason. No, I liked it. I was the only one. I was fighting for you back there. I was like, no, this is. I almost said the F word there. You said to bleep.

[John Holmberg]

Me. It wasn't.

[Frank Caliendo]

Filthy. But then I.

[John Holmberg]

Can'T. I mean, since when is like, you've been to comedy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Clubs? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't filthier then, but for people who know me, it.

[John Holmberg]

Was. Oh, for you. Jesus.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. The Brian Regan crowd. He's doing the vaginal mesh stuff. Doing the vaginal mesh stuff. How you gonna do that? Donut lady? You're the donut lady. Get some donut.

[John Holmberg]

Mesh. Which one fell out twice? Two.

[Frank Caliendo]

Times. Oh, the big brown one's. The.

[John Holmberg]

Sun. People liked my vaginal.

[Frank Caliendo]

Mesh? No, it was like. I mean, it killed everything. It was. It was great. Turns Frank into Ray, man. Definitely got a.

[John Holmberg]

Leaf. You were.

[Frank Caliendo]

Nervous. I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Care. I Knew I was 30 minutes singing about me taking it in the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Butt.

[John Holmberg]

Well. Well, do you. It was a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hit. He was worried about the. So when we got to. When we got to the videos and playing the videos, I can't take looking at that stuff directly. And then. So I think I was looking off of somebody's.

[John Holmberg]

Glasses.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. So I'm turned and Michelle looks at me. At one point, I'm like, just.

[John Holmberg]

Go. Just.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go. Just.

[John Holmberg]

Go. Yeah, just take.

[Frank Caliendo]

Off. It'll be fine. I go. John anticipates that. He knows that we're all weak. And I'm looking out on the crowd and, you know, the fans of the show, the massive fans of the show, even though, you know, I don't think. I think there's some semi casual, but they're super fans. But there's also people who came with people who watched the show, met them, and there were some people looking down at their forefront. Get me.

[John Holmberg]

Out. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. This is. This.

[John Holmberg]

Is. But the reaction of that crowd to those videos is one of my favorite things in the.

[Frank Caliendo]

World. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I love every second of that.

[Frank Caliendo]

There are some people hooting and hollering and.

[John Holmberg]

Cheering. Oh, it's great. And I like looking at the front row and, like, the weirdos who are not just watching, but watching with glee, enjoying it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Spanking. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Spanking. Yeah, that's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. Spanking it to the.

[John Holmberg]

Video. One lady was stuffing the mesh back in. I'm like, I can't stop.

[Frank Caliendo]

Laughing. There was a little man who came out of there and was like, I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Back. But it was fun. And then. But the fun thing was Lovetz. Lovett's. Yeah, go.

[Frank Caliendo]

Ahead. Lovetz is in the green room watching on the video, pretending that he's not.

[John Holmberg]

Interested.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. And he's just looking at. Throwing popcorn in, like, the Bill Hader meme. Like, he's just. He's just. He's like, who watches this stuff? Who enjoys this? I can't look at it. You're looking at it. You're not even. You haven't blinked in two minutes. I'm not even sure if I want to go to lunch tomorrow with.

[John Holmberg]

John. It.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was. Wait a second. I am.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. And he told me, how do you even show those to people? That's disgusting. He said, I can't even imagine. Like, I didn't want people taking pictures of me watching that. I'm like, your whole act is about ass play. And like, yeah, but I don't wanna be seen looking at.

[Frank Caliendo]

It. And I told him backstage. I go, well, here's the thing. Even if somebody took a picture of you with it, AI is so out of control now. Nobody would ever know if it's real or not. And it doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

Matter.

[Frank Caliendo]

Exactly. Like, there's stuff out there with everybody with vaginal mesh.

[John Holmberg]

Behind. Sure. Now, if we showed videos of that and I was doing the thing at the same time, that was not dirty, was. It.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was. Didn't you hear what Cato said.

[John Holmberg]

Kato?

[Frank Caliendo]

No. Cato said when my wife started grilling him on tough questions about Nicole Brown Simpson and stuff like that, and he's like, can we just go back to being dirty? I don't believe.

[John Holmberg]

You. Nothing about.

[Frank Caliendo]

It. Was she so met. She was Diane Sawyer. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And she went full 60 minutes. We let her on stage. She grabbed the mic and had.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like. I've seen that.

[John Holmberg]

Before. She was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Intense.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And we were.

[Frank Caliendo]

Gone. She was.

[John Holmberg]

Reporting.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. For Fox.

[John Holmberg]

News. Yeah. And I liked her question. And then she. And then she got dirty, basically. Said, you ever bone Nicole Brown Simpson? I'm like.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. And then that's when she did.

[John Holmberg]

Not. I'm the bad guy. Come.

[Frank Caliendo]

On. No, I. I told her too, that that was.

[John Holmberg]

Inappropriate. Did.

[Frank Caliendo]

You?

[John Holmberg]

No. I'm scared. It was fun, though. It was a great night. And again, the crowd was. The second you walk out and you realize it's going to be up to us to screw this up. They're greased.

[Frank Caliendo]

Up. And one of my favorite moments was Lovitz was waiting for his New Year's Eve plug at Desert Ridge. And you got it out there. And he was like, at Desert Ridge, you know, New Year's Eve. And then you were going to give me my plug for the improv on New Year's Eve. And you saw Lovett, like, you knew I wouldn't care. Yeah, but it was like you made a. You. Lovett said something and you just got off of it because you knew if you plugged my date after his, it was gonna be, well, how can we have so many people out.

[John Holmberg]

Here? Why in the world we have all that? You're competing with my show. Why would you. Anyway, because he gets Crouching that.

[Frank Caliendo]

He was the second pick for.

[John Holmberg]

Guests. No, he hated that. The Jay Farrell. Because it was. Jay Farrell was guest of the year. Look, Jay Farrell was booked. It was happening, right? It booked. And then I got a call. It said, Pharaoh just took a job on Friday. He's not even going to be in town Friday night, and he's going to be here. He was DraftKings. Yeah, yeah. Some giant thing and he made a ton of money. I'm like, well, I don't blame him. That's like 10 times more than we were going to give him. And. And so I'm like, well. And so the owner of the club was like, what do you want to do? And I'm like. And Lovett's would just called me and like, you know what? I wonder if he'll come out and do that. I said, I'll talk to Frank. I think we already got. We had to just get Frank for sure, because you're my wooby on there. Like, we've got stuff that just goes like the Morgan Freeman thinks so he said, It's 20 minutes. We can kill that. No, no problem. Yeah, so we got that out of the way. And then getting the guest out there comfortable is different because. Yeah, so Pharaoh would have been awesome because that's just.

[Frank Caliendo]

More. Yeah, it was like when. When we did it with.

[John Holmberg]

Kite. Yeah, it's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Great. Go back and forth and lots of different.

[John Holmberg]

Stuff. But joking with Lovitz, that was Pharaoh's deal. But you're replacing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Him. Why do you have to make me feel less to give it to Jay.

[John Holmberg]

Pharaoh? Like, right. We would have, but he can't make it. You're here now. My favorite moment of the whole night, because I like discomfort, was when Cato was talking and Lovitz goes, it's a tragedy. It's not even funny. Like, yes, it is. And he looked at me and goes, ah. Like, it is. It's 30 years. We got over it. It's kind of funny now, but having Kato on there and my O.J. simpson lady killer shirt and everything. And he couldn't believe that I talked to him as OJ on stage. Why, like, do you think he's over it at this point? It's like, he's had enough. He can do.

[Frank Caliendo]

Anything. But Cato, behind the scenes, he said, you know, backstage, he's like, you can say whatever you want. He goes, I've heard it all. Yeah, I've. I've nothing to everything, but one thing he says, when you go do the OJ Every time he's like, it is just.

[John Holmberg]

Eerily. Yeah, he likes it. He kind of secretly likes it. Love. It's yesterday at our Saturday at lunch. Goes, do it to do it again. So. Hey, how you doing, John? Lovers, you're gonna keep giving that dog some pukables. That's gonna make Cato mad. And he's got friends. I don't hear it. I'm done with you. Is that OJ or, like, it just sounds like a black.

[Frank Caliendo]

Guy. That's what Lovitz always does. He'll say, oh, you do a great John Madden. Right? And I do. Hey, here's a guy, he's like, that's not it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He kills you and he does it and kills you and start a story doing something else. It's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Murder. He goes, you and John are pretty good up there. I was like, well, yeah, it works. It's fun. He goes, yeah. You know what's different? I have to do jokes. I can't just go up there and do.

[John Holmberg]

Voices. He said that to me at lunch. He goes, yeah, you guys were funny. It was really funny. It was a fun night. It was. The difference is I have to actually write material. I'm like, when are you gonna start that? Oh, you son of a. Cause if you just hit him that his act's not good. It hurts him. He takes swings. You just make fun of me all the time. You spent 30 minutes telling everybody I'd take it in the ass to music. Well, yeah, but that's my.

[Frank Caliendo]

Act. Well, a lot of people think this is about Bob Saget.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah. Last time you wrote a joke.

[Frank Caliendo]

That'S like Barry Manilow desert.

[John Holmberg]

Improv.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Barry Manilow's song Mandy is actually about a guy named.

[John Holmberg]

Randy. And I'll do it. I just change the names. It works every time. Also, Frank, Well, I just say thank you. That was nice of you. I appreciate you being there on Friday. And it was fun. Always good. That's all right. Brady tries and you just ran him over. Did nothing you can do about.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. I'm out of.

[John Holmberg]

Here. But, yeah, it's fun. And it was not that dirty. I've been to dirtier shows than.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. No, no, no, it wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Filthy. You said it was to start.

[Frank Caliendo]

Jeez. And then it was to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then the Clinton Trump thing when I. When I was. When I was outside, everybody's leaving, going, man, when Clinton blew Trump. And I'm like, God, I never thought I'd hear that and get a handshake. When Clinton blew Trump, we were dying. That was awesome. Like. I know, I know. You're welcome. You're welcome for.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. And I was involved, and a lot of people said, frank wouldn't be involved in that. And I said, I'm gonna be involved. I'm gonna be the Trump.

[John Holmberg]

Side. Yeah, you were sort of a hostage of that. And then Chris Turner at the end comes out and does that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Rap. Oh, that guy's.

[John Holmberg]

Amazing. That guy is brilliant. That.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was. I'm not sure he's from this.

[John Holmberg]

Place. Me neither. Because he's not.

[Frank Caliendo]

Normal. Mind.

[John Holmberg]

Boggling. Even.

[Frank Caliendo]

Backstage. Well, that's because he's.

[John Holmberg]

British. Oh, that was it. I thought. Yeah. I didn't know if it was gay or normal, but it's.

[Frank Caliendo]

British. That's the thing. This was the first rosebud he's ever.

[John Holmberg]

Seen. No, he's British. You know what I mean? No, no, he was awesome. That last rap was incredible. And just got names from the crowd and just put that thing together for like two minutes and it was perfect. He was great. Called you Brody, which was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Funny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Which is.

[John Holmberg]

Better. It makes it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Funny. I think that might be the new thing. Sorry I talked over you, Brody.

[John Holmberg]

Since. Since Frank is here and football happened yesterday. Assess the Cardinals. What would you do if you were the GM of this team? Because you're. You're here. You were friends with the old gm. He doesn't remember that. But you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Remember. Yeah. Offer to retire. It doesn't look.

[John Holmberg]

Good. It's got to stop, right? We.

[Frank Caliendo]

Gotta. Well, Kyler's gone. Right? There's no. There's. They'll find.

[John Holmberg]

Him. They gotta pay 30 million to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just. What if I told you there.

[John Holmberg]

Was a way, If I told you we could do it, what would you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Say? Yeah, I think they just got to do some.

[John Holmberg]

Revamping. They got it. But again, isn't the revamping Bidwell. He has to leave, right? Until. No, come on. Until he goes. But that's where, as fans of a team should have the ability, like in Green Bay, to unite. And in this day and age of the Internet, there should be some sort of campaign where everybody's like, we won't go anymore until he's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Gone. One that'll never.

[John Holmberg]

Happen. But that should.

[Frank Caliendo]

Happen. Why? That's when you own a team. You own a team. But like Jerry Jones, people complain he's gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

Years. You know, Mike, I have a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go. I will be here for eternity and plus one.

[John Holmberg]

Eternity. It's a bring a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Guy. I was actually. I drank from the wrong chalice with Indiana Jones, I chose poorly, and I'm still.

[John Holmberg]

Here. And you have a plus.

[Frank Caliendo]

One. Plus.

[John Holmberg]

One. Who are you bringing, Steven or the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wife? No.

[John Holmberg]

Attorney. Oh. Oh, you get attorney. And another eternity. Oh, I wasn't following. I thought you just had a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Guess. Eternity is.

[John Holmberg]

Enough. Yeah, but then you get a little extra. I thought you brought someone along. You got a plus one eternity plus one. I like to have a guest look into that. Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Macca. But Mike's not gonna be.

[John Holmberg]

Maca. Oh, not.

[Frank Caliendo]

Anymore. He's.

[John Holmberg]

Out. Merry effing holidays from the big red radio. It's the holidays, and Hooters is serving up the cheer. Grab a friend and dive into the pick three. Just $10.99 per person, minimum. Two people. You get one appetizer, two entrees, and two drinks, all for just one festive price. And while you're there, snag the perfect stocking stuffer. The 2026 Hooters calendar, packed with over a hundred fifty dollars in coupons. Plus, when you buy $25 in Hooters gift cards, you'll get $5 in bonus bucks this season. Give the gift of wings. Give the gift of Hooters. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost our home pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter, and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost Our home pet rescue, and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our Home is unbelievable. Your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section. Holmberg's morning sickness. The. The fun thing about my theory with football is if your team doesn't make the playoffs in five years, the owner is forced to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sell. And he goes, that feels like more like a more European soccer.

[John Holmberg]

Relegation. Because the one thing synonymous with Cardinal failures, the name Bidwell. They've changed all the pieces. They've revamped 100,000 times. They've got one good season really to show for it. And guess What? They were 9 and 7 that year and hold the record for being behind by 30 points or more by any super bowl team that's ever been in it. They were five games. They were. They lost by 30 points or more. And that's terrible. The season that they went to the super bowl was all Kurt Warner in the playoffs and the team just gelling at the right time. And they almost won.

[Frank Caliendo]

It.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But they didn't. And then two years later, they're scrambling again with Carson Palmer and almost something. And then it goes away. And they haven't. They haven't been Normal sense. They're.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just. They need.

[John Holmberg]

Something. Yeah. They need a new.

[Frank Caliendo]

Owner. I'm not doing.

[John Holmberg]

That. I will. I'll say it all day long. It's like multiplicity. He's the third generation. He's got no stake in this game. He was rich when he started. It's. You get dumber the more you hand it down to family members. It gets worse and worse. I mean, every. Every team that's doing it.

[Frank Caliendo]

That'S. Don't tell that to the.

[John Holmberg]

Ersays. The Ursay. Well, they're going to get. Look at Mark Davis in Vegas. How is that a bad team? How did they get all that money? They're.

[Frank Caliendo]

Horrible. They are.

[John Holmberg]

Horrific. And.

[Frank Caliendo]

They'Re. Tell you what, man. I know it could turn this thing around. That's when it all first talked to John. He's like, there's a lot of problems over there, man. We're trying to work through fixing some of this stuff. Yeah. He's like. And I. I could never get specifics out of them, but he's just like, there's just a lot of things that need to.

[John Holmberg]

Change. Yeah. Namely the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Owner. No, I think he liked.

[John Holmberg]

Mark. He liked Mark and Al. But he knew at that point that they had to get their hands out of the cookie jar and just be figureheads. Yeah. And that's the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Problem. That's the difficult thing with being. When you're an owner and you're a billionaire and you're good at something, too, like even new billionaires, when you've made money. I heard Ishbia talking about.

[John Holmberg]

It.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. You know, he's like, nobody cared when I screwed something up in the loan business or whatever. But. But when you have a basketball team, everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Cares.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. And you have to know that people talk about. And that's why you have to, you know, delegate to the right people. It's usually got to.

[John Holmberg]

Defer. But the owners will blame everybody. Fire gm.

[Frank Caliendo]

Fire. Usually people around them saying, yeah, it's not your.

[John Holmberg]

Fault. Well, I'm saying, that's why you hired them. It's your.

[Frank Caliendo]

Fault. That's why they don't let you anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

Near. Exactly. Right. But.

[Frank Caliendo]

I. Near. Who are the owners who are near. That's.

[John Holmberg]

True. I don't have anyone that owns anything that wants to be near.

[Frank Caliendo]

Me.

[John Holmberg]

No. Because I'll tell them the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Truth. Yeah. Oh, no, they don't want.

[John Holmberg]

That. They don't want that. They want.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sycophants. When I. When I was in. At Trump Tower with Trump, this is 20 years ago, whatever it was. Yeah. Probably 20 years ago. Fifteen years ago, at least. And when there was the sketch we're doing and the camera went down and somebody made a wrong move with the camera or something, we're just rehearsing to get through it, and he's looking around the room. He goes, was that good? Was that good? You know, the rest of it? And he's like, yes, Mr. Trump. Fantastic, Mr. Trump. Great, Mr. Trump. I was like, wait a.

[John Holmberg]

Sec.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Does anybody ever tell you something isn't good? He goes, no, Frank, that's part of the problem. Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He admitted.

[Frank Caliendo]

It. He goes, I can't get real answers. But he doesn't. I was like, you should run for.

[John Holmberg]

President. It was.

[Frank Caliendo]

This. He didn't run for.

[John Holmberg]

President. You did.

[Frank Caliendo]

This. Listen, we're gonna. We were putting lots of tariffs. We're putting tariffs on the.

[John Holmberg]

Taxes. Did he say at one point.

[Frank Caliendo]

You really think so, Fred, I could be.

[John Holmberg]

President? And then you're like, no, he.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was. He'd already run and decided. That was one of the jokes. I don't know if it made it or not, but he's like, I decided to run for. I decided to not run for president. I've decided to not run for president. No, I've decided to run for president. I've decided not, not, not run for president. There's so many nuts. I've tied in so many nuts. I don't even know if I may.

[John Holmberg]

Anymore. Yeah, it's perfect. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed meeting.

[Frank Caliendo]

Trump. He was totally different behind the scenes. Like this is before president, like anytime. Some people have told me that anytime somebody becomes a president, especially if they're elected twice, the ego is so.

[John Holmberg]

Massive. It's gotta.

[Frank Caliendo]

Be. It's, it's. But they don't have people around.

[John Holmberg]

Them. You'd be president of the hoa. You turn into a D. A little.

[Frank Caliendo]

While. Listen, Michelle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Your wife is the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hoa. We had to.

[John Holmberg]

Be. Because of.

[Frank Caliendo]

Ego. Because of somebody else and everybody else. Cuz the last person was causing.

[John Holmberg]

Problems. I knew you got into a fight. I remember.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. But. Yeah. And then so she decided just that she was going to be it. And she's been.

[John Holmberg]

Great. She's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Actually. Because she, she doesn't try to make stupid.

[John Holmberg]

Things. Does anyone ever tell her she's not.

[Frank Caliendo]

Great? I do and it gets me.

[John Holmberg]

Trouble. Exactly.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. But it's never question A caliendo. There used to house notes on. Yeah, that's true. There used to be notes on people's cars from the hoa. From the board. And none of it went through the board. It was just the president of the HOA putting stuff on. Like, you can't do.

[John Holmberg]

That. He was a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dictator. Yeah, you can't do.

[John Holmberg]

That. Oh, see, hoas suck.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. But that's why Michelle's just like stepped it back and said, well, you can't. Somebody in our neighborhood painted their house a color that doesn't look right. And it went through the board and it went through everything. Not through the board. It went through the whatever it's supposed.

[John Holmberg]

To.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. Sort of HOA project, the architectural.

[John Holmberg]

Committee.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. So it went through that, but nobody said, no, you can't do it. So it got approved. And then some people are like, well, we need to change the color and that. She's like, you can't. Yeah, who's gonna pay for that? Versus I went through the process and the HOA doesn't want to do it. They don't want to.

[John Holmberg]

Spend. Is it green? Is it that awful green people paint their houses.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now? No, it's a blue gray that I think if in small. In a smaller palette probably looks very gray. But when it's. It's. The problem is when you paint something in A little.

[John Holmberg]

Spot.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. It looks very different from a giant wall. I don't. I don't mind. There's just some people in the neighborhood don't like it at all. Like, it does stick out, but I.

[John Holmberg]

Don'T. I don't really paint your house whatever color you want. Yeah, leave me alone. Just don't paint my house. That's the thing. It's like being gay. Be gay at home all day long. But the second you start making me gay or doing it in my house, then we have a problem.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. That's why I always. My neighbors and I talk about.

[Frank Caliendo]

It and take it.

[John Holmberg]

Out. Boom. It's okay. Everybody getting their nose in somebody else's.

[Frank Caliendo]

Business.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you want to paint your house bright.

[Frank Caliendo]

Orange? Well, there are some things that are good about the hoa. It's just about not going too far. No. Yeah. No, Trust.

[John Holmberg]

Me. A good thing about an hoa, when they don't exist. Because your gates never worked right. Well, they work as Michelle. Fix that. Yeah. Because I remember just pulling up close and it would.

[Frank Caliendo]

Open. That's the way it's supposed to. It is for deliveries only during. Only during delivery.

[John Holmberg]

Hours. Oh. So I remember I would always forget the code. And then if I just scoot it up, the gate would open. I'm like, well, this isn't for deliveries.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's. And it's a. It's.

[John Holmberg]

A. It's.

[Frank Caliendo]

A. It's not a security gate. It's a privacy.

[John Holmberg]

Gate. What's the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Difference? There's security gate would be like.

[John Holmberg]

You.

[Frank Caliendo]

You. No other way to get into the neighborhood or something like.

[John Holmberg]

That.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay. So it's just. It's just to keep people from just going through there. Like people deterrence to get to the high school. People try to go and park cars and stuff like that. In our neighborhood, you can't do that. Ah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. Yeah. And the HOA also takes care of the. The.

[John Holmberg]

Jacuzzi, the community Jacuzzi. It's in the middle of the neighbor. It is beautiful. There's no fence around.

[Frank Caliendo]

Her. Why do you think, love? It's always supposed to come.

[John Holmberg]

Over. It's. I want to. Can I use your community Jacuzzi? Community Jacuzzi is disgusting. Anyway, well, Frank's gonna be at the 10:00pm prov on New Year's Eve. 6:00 clock and 8:00 o'. Clock. You're going.

[Frank Caliendo]

Early? 6 and 8:30, I.

[John Holmberg]

Think. Oh, okay. 6 and 8:30. You're going.

[Frank Caliendo]

Early. Yeah. Great. It's the time before all the bad people Are on the roads.

[John Holmberg]

Drunk. Yeah. And then you can become one of those bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

People. I wouldn't suggest your show start there. He wants all the bad people. People. That's.

[John Holmberg]

Right. You want all the sober people pre.

[Frank Caliendo]

Bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Right before they.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go. Right. But they. You're always looking for something to do before. Sure. So that's the. That's. That was more my thing. They're like, do you want to do them later? I'm like, first of all, people don't want to go out that late that I know.

[John Holmberg]

Anymore. Well, New Year's Eve is a little.

[Frank Caliendo]

Different. I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

So. People force themselves to stay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's the last.

[Frank Caliendo]

Crowd. But they're not fun.

[John Holmberg]

Crowd.

[Frank Caliendo]

No. The late New Year's Eve. The one where if you actually go to midnight, that's never.

[John Holmberg]

Good. No, it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sucks. It's everybody's. And everybody's only thinking the New Year's Eve day. They're not really focusing on the comedy as much. I. We have to do three shows on those nights. Oh yeah. There were. Not at the Improv in Tempe, but in. I think I'm trying to think of some of the other places I did it, but maybe like Dallas or something like that. When you do those three show nights, you're like, did I do.

[John Holmberg]

This?

[Frank Caliendo]

Brutal. And the 8:30 show, you're gonna do full out professional fireworks inside, right? Oh yeah. That's my.

[John Holmberg]

Act. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Lovett's has to write jokes. You're just doing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Explosives. You.

[John Holmberg]

Do. It's a Piff the Dragon. Are you gonna do.

[Frank Caliendo]

That? You dress up in a dragon.

[John Holmberg]

Suit? I thought you were Piff the.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dragon. Puff. Piff the Magic Madden. Piff the Magic.

[John Holmberg]

Madden. Live by the sea Watch that.

[Frank Caliendo]

All frolic in the autumnness In a land called Ottilie. Brett Favre lived there too. Little Brownie far.

[John Holmberg]

Paper. All right, we gotta. We gotta keep going for. Are you gonna stay for a.

[Frank Caliendo]

While?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh boy. We have to do our Wake up song. It's brought to you by Action Rock Shop. Already it stay at 7:26. We gotta get out of here. The ax has been falling all over this place. We gotta be careful. What do you got on the big board over there? All.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride.

[John Holmberg]

Shop. Of course, right now they got.

[Frank Caliendo]

Their 20 off all in stock beach.

[John Holmberg]

Cruisers at both locations right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. And of course the brand new.

[Frank Caliendo]

One right there on power Road and McDowell. It is Action Ride Shop. Actionrideshop.com and on the list lots of stuff for fits. I'm the man from Anthrax left behind from Slipknot, Black Sabbath, Electric.

[John Holmberg]

Funeral. Somebody I used to know from three days grace. Sarah McLaughlin in.

[Frank Caliendo]

There.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Weezer say it ain't so for.

[Frank Caliendo]

Fits. Mike and the Molotovs. I f the boss's.

[John Holmberg]

Wife. You know what? We should do that. I don't know how clean it is. Know if we have the clean version.

[Frank Caliendo]

Anymore. Johnny Paycheck obviously in.

[John Holmberg]

There. There it is. That's the one. Johnny Abyss. Cuz he always played that for his opener. Then you choose. I like take this job and shove it. But Seasons in the Abyss is a solid one. Fitting for him because that's how he opened every show. Seasons in the Abyss once again for. For our friends say goodbye. I think you like hoas because it's like the mob. I think you grew up with.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. I think that's a very nice way to put.

[John Holmberg]

It. I think that's a fun thing to think. Think that it's more mob related. You guys have some footage. I didn't know Michelle was the prez though. That's pretty impressive. She have to run for that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sort? Nobody really wants lobby because. No, I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

So. They just gave it to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Her. Yeah. Delivered to the Calendo house in the neighborhood. Board meetings are now like they. They only meet like four times a year and they're. It's. I don't know. They're 20 minutes. Really just get stuff out, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know. That's quick. All right, well I can handle it on. I hate HOAs. I think they're a scam. But I like that Michelle's running it and hopefully into the ground. Like to eliminate it. Dismantle.

[Frank Caliendo]

It. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And make personal responsibility more important again. Won't.

[Frank Caliendo]

Happen. No. It's a dream. Well there's like. So here's a. Here's a quick thing like. So the. The access road to all the houses. That has to be taken care of because it's not. They're not roads. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not. They're private. So that's the type of stuff that the HOA just really knock on.

[John Holmberg]

Doors and have a bucket put in your.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hundred. Nobody's putting in their.

[John Holmberg]

Hundred. Nobody kicks in. All right, well so they have to force it out of.

[Frank Caliendo]

Them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. I guess. Or you just hire a guy to tar.

[Frank Caliendo]

It. Well, they've gotten it in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And let it go. Let it go and move out. I got answers. I got answers for your stupid.

[Frank Caliendo]

They'Re not the questions that are being.

[John Holmberg]

Asked, but all right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Answer. You're just too.

[John Holmberg]

Behind. We'll do Slayer for fits and for for Frank as well. It's Seasons in the Abyss. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hey, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made an as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be, if your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit online happy endings euthanasia.com because every pet's life should have a happy end. Howdy everybody. It's John Holmer here from the Morning sickness and it's time to tell you about fanduel, the NFL Sundays. They're here. You got your crew, you got your couch, your snacks, your slate. FanDuel's coming in with something extra. This isn't just another NFL Sunday. It's your chance to place that perfect parlay or hit your go to player prop. And now we're making it even better because this week, FanDuel's bringing the bonus. That's right. Right now, all customers can get a 50% profit boost on any NFL bet. However you play your game, FanDuel's got your back with something extra in your account because that's what Sunday should feel like. Visit fanduel.com kupd to download the app and get in on the action before kickoff. I lean towards my new tight end over there in Pittsburgh to get a touchdown and I'm all set up starting my parlay. Just go to fanduel.com kupd21/in present Arizona Opt in required bonus issue Non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amount. See [e-mail] gambling problem call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.