12-16-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 12-16-25 (TUESDAY) – Detailed Episode Summary

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Main Theme

Tuesday’s episode centers on the usual irreverent banter and comedic commentary from John Holmberg and his crew (Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo), blending sports talk, current events, personal stories, Arizona culture, and absurd observations. Today’s show highlights include insane AI advances, the perils of social media apps for kids, oddball childhood memories, a running gag about pizza delivered by “Saddam”, pop culture reviews, and the team’s annual "Band Name" recap—a listener-catalogued tradition. The show’s tone is laugh-out-loud, unfiltered, and sometimes deliberately uncomfortable.

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Table of Contents

1. Podcast Crew & Opening Energy
2. Rapid-Fire NFL Rants
3. AI: Disturbing Advances & Future Speculation
4. The "Wiz" App & Child Safety
5. Political, Social, & AI Misinformation
6. Darts, Wasps, and Sports Fandom
7. School Science: Animal Dissections & Farm Tales
8. Frog Legs & Family Memories
9. Listener Emails: Comedy & Hygiene Tips
10. Cultural Naming, Bigotry, and Pizza Delivery Bits
11. Pop Culture, AI Music, and Band Names Recap
12. Notable Quotes
13. Timetable of Key Segments

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<a name="1"></a>1. Podcast Crew & Opening Energy

• John introduces the team, ribs the absent “Tripp” (station manager, whose birthday it is), and jokes about possible celebrations, e.g., “Strippers and blow. That’s what we’re going to do for him today.” (01:36)
• Playful banter about how to celebrate a centenarian’s birthday.
• Setting the episode’s signature wild, unpredictable tone.

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<a name="2"></a>2. Rapid-Fire NFL Rants

• [02:05] John and Brett dissect the Steelers game vs. Dolphins, the unpredictability of the season and the pointless nature of some matchups.
• John pokes at the curse of forever-bad franchises (Bengals/Cardinals), claiming their few good years are just inevitable spikes.
• “If it weren’t for the Browns, we’d be the Browns.” (03:01)

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<a name="3"></a>3. AI: Disturbing Advances & Future Speculation

• John brings up Elon Musk’s predictions: AI soon making 30% of human work obsolete, eventual obsolescence of money and possibly all employment. (04:17)
• Discussion turns toward AI discovering cybersecurity flaws in seconds—far outpacing human hackers.
• Skeptical, comic speculation about “human only” businesses, robot wars, and the doom of relying on technology.
• “AI found [security flaws] in six seconds… the hackers found it in a day.” (06:18)

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<a name="4"></a>4. The "Wiz" App & Child Safety

• Brady introduces “Wiz”, an app for 13-year-olds mimicking adult dating apps. Crew ridicules the concept.
• John imagines predators immediately pouncing on such apps:
  “You can swipe left or right on friends like Tinder… for 13 year olds. That’s creepy.” (07:12)
• Satirical riff: Two predators showing up in the same bush to meet their supposed ‘victim’, become friends instead. (09:30)
• They caution parents about social media dangers, mocking the “ironclad” promises of safety from app developers. (08:22)

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<a name="5"></a>5. Political, Social, & AI Misinformation

• John recounts reading “Trump’s” (possibly AI-generated) mean-spirited tweet about Rob Reiner, reflects on the reliability of sources, and the ease with which media/internet users make excuses for their chosen “side.” (10:00–14:30)
• Group bemoans readiness of people to excuse bad behavior as “AI,” lack of accountability in the digital age, and hypocritical responses to tragedies depending on the politics involved.

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<a name="6"></a>6. Darts, Wasps, and Sports Fandom

• John’s new obsession: Professional darts. Recaps a viral “Ally Pally Wasp” incident during a championship where a player killed a flying wasp with a dart mid-match. (18:49–21:38)
• “This dude took a wasp out with a dart. The wasp hadn’t landed.” (20:41)
• Extended riff on the skill level of professional dart players, the entertainment of BBC dart coverage and how American televised sports can't compare for shear unpredictable spectacle.
• Tangent: Childhood school dissection memories (first grasshoppers, then pigs, cats, and cows).

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<a name="7"></a>7. School Science: Animal Dissections & Farm Tales

• Hilarious, often grotesque recollections of forced animal dissections in elementary and high school.
• Brett shares about live butchering a cow in his agricultural class, sparking shock and comic horror from John and others. (33:00+)
• John: “Butcher class shouldn’t exist. Well, how do you get butchers? Butcher school! Not high school!”

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<a name="8"></a>8. Frog Legs & Family Memories

• Extended, very silly debate about whether Brady really ate frog legs as a child or if his parents just fed him chicken nuggets and lied about it.
• John: “There’s zero chance your mother made frog legs that you two brought home from the stupid park, woman.” (43:04)
• Similar stories about hunting, cooking (and possibly not actually eating) other unusual wild meats (squirrel, etc.).

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<a name="9"></a>9. Listener Emails: Comedy & Hygiene Tips

• John reads an appreciative listener email about advice received from the show—practicing wiping with one’s “off” hand when recovering from shoulder surgery. (49:51)
• The group riffs hilariously and graphically on the difficulty of switching hands for hygiene and how “ambidextrous” folks are rare unicorns.

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<a name="10"></a>10. Cultural Naming, Bigotry, and Pizza Delivery Bits

• Comic saga about receiving pizza from a delivery driver named “Saddam.”
• “If someone named bin Laden was delivering your pizza, you’d be like… Like, you just—you held on to the name Saddam. Adolf can't deliver my pizza either.” (58:12)
• Group jokes about the lingering cultural unease and inappropriateness of certain names (Saddam, Adolf, Osama, OJ) in modern America.
• Tangent: Annoyance with legalized fireworks, concerns about terrorism during New Year’s.

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<a name="11"></a>11. Pop Culture, AI Music, and Band Names Recap

• Pop Culture: Brief review of chocolate-covered foods by state, new flying car (the Aleph a), and recap of major 2025 pop culture moments (Labubu toy craze, Pope Leo XIV from Chicago, celebrity deaths, etc.).
• Music/Hot Releases: Notable AI-generated covers (e.g., “Sex Type Thing” as 70s soul), Hanukkah parody songs, and intentionally off-color Christmas novelty music (e.g., “Grandma Got a Dildo for Christmas”).
• Annual Band Name Awards: Listener Devin Rec catalogued every “band name” the show invents throughout the year and reads the highlights.
  • Standouts: “Double Gypsy Butthole,” “Moisten the Dolphin,” “Corpse Cloud,” “Unexpected Dildos,” “Zombie Bullhorn,” “Ass Cheeks of a Fat Person,” “Grandpa Discharge.”
• Out-of-context listener quotes make up a second funny end-of-year tradition:
  • ("You'd fart on that cake." – Brett)
  • ("I want to see a movie called Dr. Jerk Off and Mr. Hard." – John)
  • (“Cancer is like my dick.” – John)

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<a name="12"></a>12. Notable Quotes

• On Predators and Apps:
  “You can swipe left or right on friends like Tinder, or Bumble… for 13 year olds. That’s creepy.” – John (07:12)
• On AI replacing everything:
  “Elon Musk basically said, there’ll be no need for any of us anymore. AI is taking over. There’ll be no need for money…. I’m not understanding any of this.” – John (04:00–04:41)
• On the perils of political fandom:
  “You can love someone and say they were completely wrong. The power of saying, geez, that was wrong, is incredible. But we can’t do that anymore.” – John (14:44)
• On professional darts:
  “This dude took a wasp out with a dart. The wasp hadn’t landed.” – John (20:41)
• On frog leg “memories”:
  “Zero chance your mother made frog legs that you two brought home from the stupid park, woman.” – John (43:04)
• On birthdays and strippers:
  “Strippers and blow. That’s what we’re going to do for him today.” – Brett (01:36)
• On pizza and names:
  “If someone named bin Laden was delivering your pizza, you’d be like…Adolf can’t deliver my pizza, either.” – John (58:12)
• On AI Music:
  [After AI soul cover of “Sex Type Thing”] “That’s amazing…I want to talk Marty and the boys into soul, the soul AI rock songs…Birthday show next year, we’re gonna do that…” – John (150:21)
• On pop culture:
  “The Labubu craze…I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in person. It’s just a toy.” – John (160:08)
• On summer breaks:
  “How does Howard Stern get the summer off and we’re here busting our ass?” – John (112:01+)

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<a name="13"></a>13. Timetable of Key Segments

| Timestamp (approx.) | Topic | |-------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 01:30-03:47 | NFL Recap, Steelers, Bengals, franchise futility | | 04:17-06:35 | Elon Musk, AI/Money/Robots - The coming singularity | | 06:35-10:58 | “Wiz” app for kids and satire about predators | | 10:00-16:00 | Misinformation, Trump tweet, AI as defense mechanism | | 18:48-24:54 | BBC darts, pro dart players killing wasps, new fandom | | 29:00-37:00+ | Animal dissection, butchering cows, high school horror | | 39:53-45:50 | Frog recollections, “did you really eat it?” debate | | 49:51-53:12 | Listener thanks for hygiene awareness after surgery | | 58:00-62:00+ | Pizza delivery by “Saddam,” name jokes, fireworks, ISIS| | 71:44-78:50 | Band names of the year (“Double Gypsy Butthole” etc.) | | 129:15-133:40 | Listener’s “out-of-context” first lines of the year | | 137:55-147:22 | Pop culture reviews, Hot Releases, AI music, films | | 152:44-156:28 | More AI Christmas music parodies | | 160:08-166:09 | 2025’s pop culture headlines (Labubu, celebrities) |

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Summary Insights

• Comedy-First Banter: The show remains quick-witted, ribald, and unafraid to push buttons. No topic is too sacred.
• Arizona Focus: References to local schools, food, culture, and sports are constant—very much a show for Phoenix/Arizona natives.
• AI Anxiety: The crew relishes mocking the absurdity of technological “advances,” but also underscores genuine discomfort.
• Child Safety Satire: App/social media culture for kids becomes a perfect target; they address serious dangers while lampooning society’s blind spots.
• Annual Traditions: The listener-archived “band names” and “out-of-context quotes” highlight the podcast’s cult following and community engagement.
• Current Events Tie-In: Political hypocrisy, misinformation, and terrorism anxieties find their way into the comedy filter.
• Gross-out/Taboo Humor: From animal dissection to fart “mouth-to-mouth,” the team’s willingness to “go there” is part of the draw.
• Running Bit Highlights:
  • Delivery by “Saddam,” and name-based paranoia and jokes
  • Year-in-review band names
  • Childhood “lies” about frog legs and family honesty
  • The AI soul revival of rock songs

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard this episode, expect a gleeful disregard for boundaries, fast segues between absurd and serious, shocking nostalgia, and Arizona-specific references. Many bits are callbacks to earlier shows or running jokes, but the crew provides enough context for new listeners to jump in. The live, conversational, sometimes bizarre tone is a feature, not a bug, and fans love these sprawling, raucous recaps as year’s end approaches.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one.

[John]

Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P.

[Byron]

Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.

[John]

Really?

[Byron]

That simple?

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John]

It's the holidays, and Hooters is serving up the cheer. Grab a friend and dive into the pick three. Just $10.99 per person, minimum.

[Brett Vesely]

Two people.

[John]

You get one appetizer, two entrees, and two drinks, all for just one festive price. And while you're there, snag the perfect stocking stuffer. The 2026 Hooters calendar, packed with over $150 in coupons. Plus, when you buy $25 in Hooters gift cards, you'll get $5 bucks this season. Give the gift of wings. Give the gift of Hooters. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It's Tripp's birthday today. That's right.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Strippers coming down or what?

[John]

What do you get the centurion who has everything?

[Brett Vesely]

Strippers and blow.

[John]

That's it. Hookers and blow. That's what we're going to do for them today. They'll be arriving at noon. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. Let's get this thing together, shall we? Brett? Just when I thought it was out. Pull me back in. Stupid Steelers played a great game last night, and I don't know what I, you know, measured wins because I don't know what to. A tongue of a law.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John]

I don't know what he is, but he's like, look, they've been playing great the last few. They scored 13 average 13 points against for the last four weeks. The Dolphins were playing good. Two was playing all right. He's not Managing things well enough. They're running. Last night couldn't do anything. And that was when the Steelers didn't have their best player. I. I don't. I don't know what this season is. I can't. I don't know what this season is at all. I'm trying, man. You're still alive. Oh, yeah, Very much so. I can't remember the under over on last night's game, but I think it was 43 or 44. And then the Dolphins tack on two crap touchdowns at the end, make it 28, 15, and you're like, how do they do that? How do they do that?

[Byron]

It was.

[John]

It's crazy. It's just flat out nuts. But, yeah. So football's back. And my life got good news, too.

[Byron]

Joe Burrow's gonna finish out.

[John]

Yeah. The Bengals really should be pleased that you guys are going to be the nine pick with four wins. And somehow or another, still, there's eight teams worse than you in a terrible season. Well, good for the Bengals. And Joe Burrow might retire, which is even better, which I find to be the most Bengali Bengal thing ever. The Bengals, They're. They're. If it weren't for the Browns, we'd be the Browns. They're. They're derivative of the Browns and they suck just as much. Proving, once again, my theory that a terrible, terrible franchise will spike for a couple of years and then go right back to sucking, because it's in their nature. And that's what the Bengals are. They had that year, like, oh, they might be around for a minute. No, they can't. They're the Bengals. They're the Cardinals of Ohio.

[Byron]

What would you rather have spike for a couple of years?

[John]

If you got a championship out of it, maybe 30 years. Once you got. That's what you're going to have again. So you had your spike, and then. I hate to break it to you, but you're not going to make it to see a Bengals championship. Well, he's not going to live to be 100. I'll never see one either. I might live to be 90. I don't want to. That's my curse. But that would be. My curse would be on my 90th birthday. I'm like, I don't want to be here. And then that year, the Bengals win the world. Are you going to watch this, too? What a joke. Even though I saw a thing last night where Elon Musk basically said, there's going to be no need for any of us anymore. AI is taking over which we already know. And he goes, but it's in the next 20 years, there'll be no need for money. There'll be no need for anything. Nobody will have to do anything. I will do everything as it's advancing. He said, you know, from 0% to being able to do about 30% of the jobs as it is. He said, robots are on the way. And the guy asked him. I was like, well, why do you want this? And he goes, oh, I don't. He goes, but you can't stop it. So you just kind of see the writing on the wall. If you're smart enough, you'll see it and you'll be like, all right, well, here we go. And he goes, why would there be no need for money? Goes, why would there be need for money in the future? And I'm like, I'm not understanding any of this. And he said, just because I predict it doesn't mean I want it. But I'm just telling you, I'm watching that. He's. And then you're like, but you kind of are in charge of it in a weird way. You invented one of the kids.

[Byron]

I would have never done it.

[John]

Turn it off. Nope.

[Byron]

So maybe in the future the companies that will be like the tree huggers will be a non robot company.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna hear that. And yeah, human only. And then. And then the wars begin. We've all seen sci fi when the humans are like, we won't deal with those robots. And then they try to fight them and Don Quixote's just get slaughtered. Last. Last night they showed if AI was smart enough now to beat hackers into a. Into a system that had two flaws they had written into the computer thing. The hackers found it in a day. AI found it in six seconds and could and could hack an entire colleges, all of it. And all they said was, do you think you could find this? And go, sure. And then six seconds later he goes, you got a breach here, you got a breach here. You got a breach here. You got to breach. I can get through all of it. And it did. And the hackers were like, it took some time. Like, oh, I see very intricate, detailed kind of security systems with tiny little moments. And then they put it on another college that they were like, does this have any breaches? And it came back immediately. 34. If 34 open. Yeah, hackers can get all of them from 34.

[Brett Vesely]

That's going to be a battle of.

[John]

Oh my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Of AI hackers, AI against.

[John]

Yeah, well, yeah, Guys, quote unquote, right.

[Byron]

Now, humans are getting one over on AI on the Wiz. Apparently, the thing I sent you.

[John]

Oh, yeah. Oh, this is a good one. Yeah, the. Well, this is brilliant. Brady handed me this this morning. If you've got a kid for Christmas, the gift this year that screams I love you is the Wiz app. It's for 13 year old kids. Age appropriate engagement. And I don't even. My first reaction was, what can go wrong here? Placing unattended 13 year olds in an Internet chat room and say, you guys should meet up for playdates. Who's going to crash that party? It's. You can swipe left or right on friends like Tinder or Bumble or Grindr. For 13 year olds.

[Brett Vesely]

That's creepy.

[John]

Yeah, it says. And you know, I don't know that anybody. The guy who invented that when he hit enter the last time and said it's done. Didn't once think pedophiles are going to use this most. He didn't.

[Brett Vesely]

Jared's been staying busy in jail, you know, learned probably it was a French.

[Byron]

Company that came up.

[John]

Well, the French have been for ages. Trying to make the league of or the age of consent, like 12 and 13. So, yeah, if you're thinking like, you know, you got a 13 year old boy, he's not really social. He doesn't have a lot of friends. Like, I'd like for him to have friends. It localizes because Grindr will find a buddy within a. It'll tell you how far away he is. So now it pinpoints locations of 13 year olds. Of course, for other 13 year olds, no bad guy's ever going to get involved in that. Find your 13 year old standing in a park going, I have ice cream. Look for me, I'm the one with ice cream. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, me too. My name's Todd. I'll meet you at the park. Is your mom around? No, mom says it's okay to meet up. Cause whiz says that's a good idea. Right? Okay. Hey, I'm gonna take a whiz in your mouth. What?

[Byron]

Where you going, honey? Got a whiz date.

[John]

My little fella's got a whiz date. He always comes back with bruises. Kids can be so rambunctious. No need to watch. Because they say that the app is claiming it has ironclad policies to stop this. Although the first person that they caught on day one was 19. I love those little children so much.

[Byron]

Meeting up with an 11 year old.

[John]

He posed as a 15 year old. Now he's trying to find an 11 year old to be friends with. And a 23 year old jumped out. How do predators know this app is brand new? And they're like, what? What? And they get on the first day I'm getting on that app, it's like they don't even like sneak around in the bushes for a second. On the Internet, there's like, there's an app for kids. Okay, gonna put my name in. Let's see. Six grader ace, six, nine, exclamation point. Yeah. 23 year old got on to. Pretended to be 14. You know what? I would hope. This is my hope for. This is my hope for all this stuff for Wiz. Let's say predators like trying to. I hope for this. Predators on the Wiz. And he's. He's easing on down the road and he's trying to find himself a young boy. And yeah, he's on the Wiz. And he's. He's easing on down the road and then he goes to the park and he's pretending and he's hiding in a bush waiting to see the. The boy. And then the bush starts to rattle. Another guy's in there. Hey, what are you doing here? He's like, ah, waiting for a kid named Carl. Said, Ah, crap, I'm Carl. And the two of them. The two of them become friends. Yes. Ah, you got. You got me. It's that Chomo's meet up. Yeah, Chomo's accent. They just have a good laugh. I was gonna rape a kid and Carl. That's hilarious. You're gonna rape me? I thought you're 13. Yeah, I thought you were 13. You guys want to go grab a beer?

[Byron]

Well, they already got them. I got beer and cookies.

[John]

Yeah, it's in the car if you want. I got to. I got some Chips Ahoy too. And Schaefers if you want to get in the car. Oh, I got loads of that in the cooler. Oh my God. We brought the same stuff. Well, we talked about it. I really thought we were gonna today and you were like 11, but we're about 26.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like a Seinfeld episode.

[John]

It'd be great, but just if they. Especially if they chose the same bush that rustling. Hey, hey, hey. This bush is taken. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. How you doing? My name's Jeff. I'm here rape a kid named Trevor. Oh, geez. Really? Yeah, I'm Trevor, man. Wait a minute. I was gonna rape you. You got my. Your peanut butter? My Chocolate. Oh, wouldn't that be funny?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Two rapists, like, ah. And then you're like. And then they start a lifelong friendship. Go get them, whiz. That's the world we live in. So I'm gonna laugh at it because I don't find it to be awful when people do this, invent this kind of stuff when my Brady hand me the story and I'm like, well, yeah, predators are gonna rape kids on, like, if no one saw this. And then it still got, like, thumbs up approvals. And there is some, you know, lonely single mother who looks at her lame, you know, string bean kid with no friends and goes, he needs buddies. The Internet can help. The Internet is not your friend at all.

[Byron]

Won't have to post that picture of him alone at his pizza party.

[John]

I like those two, though. I like when loser kids get exposed by their parents. He's only got one friend and he lives in Texas. It's online, and he wants to be a dermatologist. So my son sends him pictures of his skin. Well, that's a. That's a predator, Mom. No, no, no. He sends pictures and we send him money. Yeah, keep that up. It's amazing what AI and the Internet does. I. Yesterday after the show, I. I read Donald Trump's incredibly inappropriate tweet about Rob Reiner at the end of the show, and I had a couple people email me and go, that wasn't him, that was an AI app. And I can't believe, actually somebody wrote that. It says, I can't believe you read that on the air as if it was real. And then another guy's like, do you realize that you just read an AI? You're spreading the false. And then Trump went on TV and doubled down and said, I never liked Rob Reiner. It was. And I, I respect that part of it, but it's completely classless to say what he said before about a man who's just been murdered, especially on the heels of them getting so mad at everybody on the Charlie Kirk thing, you know, and Charlie Kirk got murdered. Anybody who said anything bad about it was immediately admonished and vilified and should be. And it was wrong to do it then, and it's wrong. But then he's like, oh, you should never let political divides, you know, get in the way of, like, a true tragedy. And what happened to Charlie Kirk was awful. And everybody was all, oh, blah, blah, I can't say anything bad. And he was right. And then, boom, turns right around, does it again for Rob Reiner. He does the exact same horrible thing. And then people are yelling at me. It's like, you don't know what you're doing. You're just gonna spread all this misinformation. Like, all right. And actually, yesterday, as I looked at those emails, I thought to myself, maybe they were. Maybe they're right. Because I did react. I didn't look into it. Who does? I reacted. Right. And then later, I find he actually not only did it and he was proud of it. Like, really proud of it.

[Byron]

Went in depth on the reason why.

[John]

He'S always been he's a dick is essentially what he said in the synopsis. I thought he was a dick. I mean, that's enough to really not care.

[Byron]

I don't care.

[John]

And he did that. And I backpedal. Yeah, he didn't. I mean, I. I kind of respect that part, but I don't. I mean, that was a dick move. It's terrible, and it's classless and that. It's. You know, I emailed back one of the guys. You know, it's okay to. To disagree or not. Like, something your guy did. He's not keeping tabs on whether or not you were a 100 percenter. He's not. He doesn't care, like, about you. So if he does something and you don't like it, you can say, that was classless and still like him. But, man, that one. I don't know how you defend that one. That was bad.

[Byron]

It's tough. Curveball.

[John]

Oh, and a curveball. That was a bean ball at somebody's face while he was in the batter's box. Like, he's been warned. Like, they hadn't even said go yet. And the pitcher just hucks one into your head.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like, man, it's like Nolan Ryan.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Coming after you.

[John]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, it just kind of. You charging a dude for no reason.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Nolan Ryan. Robin Ventura right there.

[John]

And Robin knew about three steps in, I should not be doing this. But, yeah, I mean, I got emails from people, so. And then I just started to wonder, what are we? What kind of future are we heading towards where you can just use AI as a defense constantly for everything, Even people that aren't you. Like, you just. You wish it away. Like, I just wish he hadn't done that. And I'm a fan of his, so that didn't happen. And then when he goes on TV and says, no, I did that, and people are still like, well, it didn't happen the way I know it's still Not. It's still fine. Like, you can sit back and go, that one's wrong. You can love someone and say they were completely wrong. You can be a person who does something completely wrong and say, I was completely wrong. The power of saying, geez, that was wrong is incredible. It's amazing. But, yeah, back and forth on emails with dudes about this and kind of like, I don't want to. You still can like him, you know? And that's the other thing. I can sit back and go, oh, boy, that sucked. I didn't like that at all. And it doesn't make us enemies just because you disagree that we can't do that anymore.

[Byron]

You can also. I mean, there's also repercussions on that. He lost some people yesterday.

[John]

You'd think so, but I don't. I don't know that he loses, because then Kamala comes out and does something. You're like, oh, geez, I'd rather have the rein Orator. Like, sometimes when she talks like this. This could have somehow or another been actually a lot worse. I don't know. That's bad. But she's. Yeah, he. That was just a classless move. And if you call it classy or you say, oh, no, you defend that, you're just defending your dude, and you don't care what he says. It doesn't really matter. But don't yell at me. I can think. It's classless. This dude's yelling at me and telling me that it was AI, That I don't know what I'm talking about. Like, all right, Typical lib cut. And I did. I did. You know what? It got me because I. I thought.

[Byron]

About that when it first came out. Tell me.

[John]

Well, because it's.

[Byron]

I was like, so tell me that's.

[John]

AI or someone got so bad you're rooting for it to be AI. Please don't let that be our leader. Don't let. This is a. Just don't let's let that one. Let that one be a goof. And then everybody go, hey, I never said that. But no, they got a mic and said, what? Are you gonna want to double down on that? Of course I do. That goes an asshole. I didn't like him. I didn't like him with and without a head. I still don't like him.

[Brett Vesely]

But you're right.

[Byron]

It's no different. Not much, other than being the president, which is the top.

[John]

Yeah, you're not supposed to do that.

[Byron]

Then the Charlie Kirk stuff.

[John]

Yeah. No celebrity look. None of it's good. When you take something tragic and horrific and violent and say, oh, I had a personal beef with him, that's terrible. And you can even say I did not like him. But this is awful. I mean, I've got people hate.

[Byron]

But if that happened with Rob Reiner about the Charlie Kirk thing. Yeah, he's like horrific.

[John]

Yeah, yeah.

[Byron]

I can differ with someone politically right. But not to the point where you for that.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. We need to talk about positive stuff. You know, the good things. Like yesterday, my new favorite sport, I love football. I built a room onto my house that is a bar just for football viewing. But I'm going to change that. It's going to be for darts now because what I saw on news clips last night on BBC America was the most amazing thing I've ever watched in my life. There is a dark championship going on right now and I never heard of anything called an alley pali wasp. I don't know what an alley pali wasp is and I'm assuming none of you do either. An alley pali wasp is a wasp and it was hanging around the dart championships indoors and they're evidently kind of mean wasps. And one of the dudes throwing had the alley pali on his shoulder, didn't budge. One of the dudes getting interviewed after a dart match had the alley pally wasp on his chest, flicked it off and he goes bye. And everybody laughed. One of the dudes playing darts got sick of the alley pally wasp. Took it out with a dart in mid flight.

[Byron]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it Mr. Miyagi over there or what?

[Byron]

Was it the guy with.

[John]

No, it's like he looks almost Samoan. His rears back and does one of those dart moves. And he's throwing his dart for the game. He wasn't aiming at the wasp. The wasp goes by and he just goes. Finishes him. That's how good those guys are at darts. He hit a moving bug and it's. I forgot his name.

[Byron]

So it was about three years ago on New Year's Day. I'm up at 6:30 in the morning and it's the BBC Dart World Championships. Those guys are unbelievable.

[John]

Like you ever try to play 520 in darts? You basically are counting down from 520. Doubles in, doubles out and you're playing a good.

[Byron]

He needs a triple 17.

[John]

Got it. Games last like five throws. Got it. The next guy goes and they're tied. And it's. Everybody's scoring like everything you need. And I'm like, these guys are crushing. Every throw is perfect. Triple. Yeah, Triple two He's out. Like, my God. And they do this. Dude, hit a wasp, Throw a rock that's the size of your head and try to hit a. You can't do it. You ever. You ever see people smack a fly? We look like retards. We're running around smacking their hands together. And flies like me. There's a mosquito that lives in my house and has for, like, two months, it's the size of an eagle. Now it's been sucking on me for the entirety of the fall.

[Byron]

You can hear?

[John]

I hear him. Yeah. He talks. Turn it. Like, what? Turn the channel. I don't want to watch this. Like, who is it? It's the mosquito. And filled with your blood and more you than you. I, I. And he'll fly by. And I'm like, there he is. I look like a guy with a net chasing a butterfly. And then a few seconds later, I look at my hands, too. Did I get it? There's no.

[Byron]

Fingers are sealed together like it's not getting away.

[John]

And then you hear him like, yeah, yeah. I've had the audacity to reach into the air and, like, snatch at the air. And I'm like, I got him. And then open my empty hand. And then I just hear, there he goes. That's. There he goes. He's still in the house. That's piece of garbage. This dude took a wasp out with a dart. The wasp hadn't landed.

[Byron]

An alley pally wasp.

[John]

I don't know what that is, but.

[Byron]

They kept it alley.

[John]

Paddy wasp. An alley pally was. And I'm like, an alley. I thought that was a moving darts. Unlucky is an alley. Pali, who'd been infiltrating in the darts, had moved forward this stim, like, wow, that's neat. And it was on this guy's shoulder, and one of the dudes was throwing and had it on his neck. This thing was just hanging around for a couple of days. They assumed it was the same alley pally. And he's on his neck. Bullseye, he's out. Nice job with an alley pally on his neck.

[Byron]

I've seen him go a couple of rounds where all they need. They need a bullseye to win it. And three times in a row, it's in the bowl area.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

That's how close every time.

[John]

If you. If you. If they miss, it's, like, shocking.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Like, when they're like, oh, he missed it. Doors wide open for his mate. And then a guy goes up and he misses, like, three and hits. He hits the dart. With the dart. I, for a while there, was pretty good at darts and ran into an Irishman. I felt pretty good about myself. I was at a bar over on Alma School and some. I forgot. I'm like, I'm playing good. I'm like, hitting where I'm throwing this thing exactly where I want it, you know, every once while you miss. But it was like Stooges playing darts. Like, yeah, want to play for a little money? Make some. I'm like, yeah, play for beers. That's the deal. I bought this Irish dude, like, nine beers. Every time he goes, what do you want me to put it? Like nine. Jesus Christ. All right, triple nine. Like, did you play professionally? Oh, no, it's never good at that. I'm never good enough. Never good enough. You. You can wish a dart where you want. What? You're a genie. Want to play for lunch? Yeah, I'll buy you lunch. It's essentially how it got. But the guy was trying to teach me. I'm throwing the exact same way as him. And he's like, you just have to. You know. He had this eye thing he was doing, and it was like, you don't. Like. You never aim with one eye closed like a gun. You're not supposed to close an eye. Really. I just got this down. You get on your dominant eye. Get your dominant eye, and then you can hit the darts with other darts. That's when it gets fun. Oh, my God, he's putting darts on top of darts. This dude killed a wasp. The old alley Pally. His name was Luke Litler. I think is the guy. Or maybe he was the one that won it. But I just remember their names. Ally Pally and Luke Littler. And if you've already seen me around a wasp or a bee. Gone, gone. I start running. I mean, like, top speed. Usain Bolt style. I get the hell out of there. But merry effing holidays from the big red radio. Holmberg's morning sickness. The one guy was like, into the Ali party. I don't know why. It was so adorable. These. And they're all big kind of fat dudes. There's one malnourished Irishman that's like, flink. Flink. He scored a 580 on that throw. He's 580 points on three darts.

[Byron]

How their shirts are more logoed up.

[John]

Than Next are heavy with logos.

[Brett Vesely]

Were they wearing Mick hats while they were thrown to?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, well, no, I don't think they're allowed to wear Mick hats because it's in England. And they get beat up anywhere but Ireland and Boston. Those are the only two places that people are like, I like your hat. And that goes for every mick that's putting one on this morning. Just know that when you walk by and people are, you know, if you walk by and go 12 in the morning too. Yeah. Everybody looks and goes jackass in his stupid hat. Nobody likes your hat. And it just announces. You might as well assert that. Says, I drink too much and I've taken a swing at my wife. I swing on my wife, I'm going to get. And it's like, I'm a swinger. I'm an Irish swinger. And that just basically means you're a domestic abuser. You got to watch this thing. It's.

[Byron]

These are the guys that I watch. That bald guy I'm talking about.

[John]

They're all great.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

But I've never seen anybody hit a. I mean, he should be like an exterminating company. Should be all over this dude's shirt. Next time, look up an Alley Pally Wasp. I don't even know what that looks like. But he was hanging around. You could see him on the thing. But I never like got a close up of the alley pal. And they seem to act like the alley pally is actually dangerous or something. We don't have cute names for bugs like that. The Alley Pally Wasp. And the thing was actually flying. They had to show it came up as Ali Pally.

[Byron]

Hit by a wasp.

[John]

Hit by a dart. Not hit by a wasp, hit by a dart.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

Ali Pally's banging into each other all the time in the Alley Pally hive. Yeah. Pretty neat. So if you're interested in watching one sport and one sport only. The sport of the future, I think. And AI can never. Well, yeah, it can. Those robots will be amazing. They'll be better than the Irish because they'll be perfect at darts. And then sober. Yeah. And they're sober. And your wife won't have bruises. That'll happen every once in a while when she talks, when she gets bruises, when she talks. Yeah, it seems like that's when it happens the most. She starts to open her trap and the next thing you know, her face gets all bruised up. I don't remember how it happens because I'm a drunk. But yeah. So if you want to watch, it's on usually. I think it's about 3:30 in the morning on some weird show. Yes. I don't even. The Ocho doesn't even cover. They still play Wiffle ball. Before darts even now the.

[Byron]

The BBC covers it.

[John]

Yeah. It's that British sports thing that pops up now and again. Sky Sports. Sky Sports Plus. You got Sky Sports Plus Tonight. Dark championships for five hours. And they started at midnight. It ends like it's six in the morning. Six and a half hours of dark coverage. And they all look a little bit like Shane Gillis with like wet hair. Even the. Even like Samoan guy. I'm like. Everybody is built like Shane Gillis. Just enough to be. Alright. We're an hour three dart championships. They should make it part of the game. We've played around a 520, which is wonderful. And we've gone a little bit back on cricket. Now. Kill the wasp and they just release wasps. And they're just throwing darts at wasps. He's killed seven wasps. The Alley palace stands no chance against those pointed demons as they chuck them into the heads of the insect.

[Byron]

And the crowd.

[John]

The crowd's insane. There was like 18,000 people there to watch dudes throw darts. And now I know why. Because I was on the edge of the couch. Get it? And I didn't know. You know? You didn't even know. Oh. It struck the alley pally. And nobody. What does that mean? He struck the alley pally. It looked like a bad throw. Right? Mid flight. An alley pally goes by. Struck the alley pally. This can't be good for the tournament. You'll need a picture of the alley Pali. It's dead. Nobody killed it. The sharpened point. Right. So do they have brains? I don't know. But that one doesn't. I can tell you that for sure. He split him right from the thorax to the head. And I Learned that in 8th grade. Never forgot it for some reason. Remember that? For some reason we all had to bring a grasshopper to school. Did you have to do that?

[Byron]

No.

[John]

Find a grasshopper and bring it to school. Like what the. All right. And we all did. There wasn't a kid until I didn't get one. We all got one. And then we pulled it apart. Head, thorax and tail. That's the thorax. Why can't we just point that out on a screen? No. You need to know. Why do I have to dismember it? You just need to know. We pulled the head out using those pins. Yep. And you had to pin it down. We had to do that too. You get a pin and you kill it. But it's still like kind of crickety grasshoppery. And you grab its little head with tweezers. And start pulling. And it comes right out.

[Byron]

Just like a daisy.

[John]

Yeah, that's the head. That's right. I knew that. Now, what's the second part called? Like, Jesus, this got dark. That's the thorax. Right. Remove the tail. Why do you hate grasshoppers so much?

[Brett Vesely]

Ed Gein class. What we did.

[John]

It was my fourth grade teacher, Ms. Abby Lusane in Albuquerque, New Mexico, told us all to bring a grasshopper in. And not a kid in that class missed that assignment. We all did it. Everybody had a bag or a box with a grasshopper in it. And I couldn't tell you if I even seen a grasshopper. Prior to that assignment, I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I didn't even know they had them. But once they said, go find one, and I'm fourth grade, I'm like, that's gonna happen. That is going to happen. We scoured the planet. We all came back and pulled the heads off. And I don't even know how you get a grade for that, but we got one. You didn't have to do that. No, you just didn't do head.

[Byron]

We went over. Yeah, we went over.

[John]

But you didn't kill something to find out for real.

[Byron]

I already had one.

[John]

Oh, they just. They just did a singular.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John]

They just didn't want to waste people's time in Upper Arlington stealing all the grasshoppers off Scioto. Yeah, those are wealthy grasshoppers. We're going to leave those alone here. I'm going to. But why pull it apart? But I remember it.

[Byron]

Then we did the fetal pig.

[John]

Oh, I had a grade. Dated a nursing student, and she had a fetal pig in her fridge. Oh, yeah. It was gross, all the different parts. And I kind of get it for nursing. I don't get it for fourth and fifth grade. Yeah, that's got something. That's essentially where the teachers lose their minds.

[Byron]

Mrs. Dryden went off on that field pig.

[John]

That's what our teachers seem to really enjoy, the. The hacking up of a thing. But started with grasshoppers and then frog. We had a frog. And I got. I. I claimed like some sort of religious. I wasn't doing that. I'm like, I'm not gonna be part. And then you could watch if you wanted, or go stand in the hall. And I stood in the hall. I'm like, I didn't care to put.

[Byron]

Some salt on it.

[John]

Why. Why did we kill frogs?

[Byron]

The leg is removed. It'll move.

[John]

They don't do that anymore. They just show a video. I'm sure. But we had videotaped when I was in school. They could have videotaped one frog getting cut up and shown it to us. I didn't want to do it.

[Byron]

Yeah. I wonder if they. It is.

[John]

There's no way they're still doing that. That's just weird. Not even say it's cruel. It's just weird. And where do you stop that? Like, frogs are okay. It's like, well, like, what about this squirrel? Nah, they're kind of cute. We're not gonna do those.

[Byron]

I think my brother or sister, they had a cat.

[John]

They killed a cat. Didn't kill it, but really did. Stayed alive.

[Byron]

No, it was a dead cat.

[John]

Yeah. Somebody had to kill it. Somebody killed it. Somebody killed a cat and brought it to school. And then the teachers are like, I got an idea. I can show him what guts look like. And he did.

[Brett Vesely]

Upper Arlington wasn't gonna deal with frogs. They want a little upscale on that one.

[John]

Nobody has any frogs here. There's no pestilence. Let's get a cat. I've seen plenty of those.

[Byron]

He brought our cat to class.

[John]

Yeah, that's right, kids, I've flown all the way from the UK to dismember this feline species. Would you like to watch me do it? I don't think that's a good idea, sir. Have you met Olive? She's my show and tell. Negro. Yes, Bretty? You've brought Olive six times this week. I know.

[Byron]

She comes back after extra credit.

[John]

She'll kill your cat. Olive, where you're from, do you have to eat cats? I'm from Cleveland, Brady.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[Byron]

Same question.

[John]

Yeah. I don't know where that came from or why we had to be taught that. And I'm pretty sure that stopped somewhere along the way. But I killed the grasshopper, stood in the hallway for a frog. I never did the cat.

[Byron]

Brett.

[John]

Butcher Brett killed a cow at school once. That's not normal. What the hell was going on?

[Byron]

Good skill to learn.

[Brett Vesely]

Butcher class. What are you gonna do?

[John]

Butcher class shouldn't exist.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, how do you get butchers then?

[John]

Butcher school.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what it was.

[John]

No, it was high school. You were Gilbert.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

No, you don't. There should be no blood at the high school. That's a rule I have. No. Jesus. Two rules I have about my high school. Can't be a cow that isn't gonna make it and can't be blood everywhere. You can't have that. You can't do it.

[Byron]

It wasn't bloody, was it?

[John]

What it was. How was it?

[Byron]

Not bloody well. I thought they'd just bring in the.

[John]

No, they came out. No, they came in live. Killed it. He killed it.

[Byron]

I didn't.

[John]

That. You were in the room taking notes. The teacher did it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we weren't allowed to kill the cow. Yeah, we weren't allowed to do the initial.

[John]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Killing.

[John]

Now, you guys don't do as I do. Do as I say. Now, I'm gonna slice the throat of this cow. And if I catch any of you guys trying.

[Byron]

It was a slice. It wasn't the no country for Old Men.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, no, you hit it with. You hit it with the knocker.

[Byron]

Y. Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

You open the door and you strike it up. And then. And then you guys had.

[Byron]

Bleed it out.

[John]

So you guys did. Brought him in live and he just stood there and you guys watched him.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, then you process it afterwards, too.

[John]

Jesus Christ. And then you go to pe.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

Wait a minute. It was the middle of the day. It wasn't like after school, I think mine.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there was. There was. It wasn't just one class. There was different hours.

[John]

Everybody killed for lunch.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody.

[John]

Of course it was. They needed to. Was it immediately?

[Brett Vesely]

Sometimes, yeah.

[Byron]

Cape.

[John]

It literally farm to table. That's too much, man. Gilbert High School, do you think they still slaughter a cow?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. I don't know if Gilbert still does.

[John]

I've told this.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, it was 90, you know, it was a 90. So. I mean, I know Gilbert's a lot different than it once was.

[Byron]

Early 2000s, it was a kid was raising a pig. Ronnie's cousin.

[John]

Yeah, but that's 4H or something. That's not a class. That's a choice. That's like farm people. You take a class and, like, you're sitting there going, oh, it's how to feed a cow. And you know where to keep a cow and what to do when he's in the barn. They go slaughter it in person. That's just show a video. And I could have used a video in my agriculture class in 8th grade when my teacher jerked a horse off in front of us for artificial insemination day. That was just weird. I will admit. It was a after. I think it was after school, we just went out there and there was a male horse.

[Byron]

Still carry around that leather sleeve.

[John]

Dude, that was the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life. And my teacher worked it right into a bag. I had that stallion, this some mare sitting in there all tied up in this weird box. She's losing her mind. And this male Horse just started coming out. Thing just got huge. And my teacher had like, Parkinson's, so she was already a little shaky. Just grabbed that thing with two big yellow gloves and started stroking. And she was coated in gel. And this horse was loving it. Had a bag attached to the end of his wang. And he filled that thing up. And within a few seconds, some other dude with another glove on poured that bag into the girl horse. He reached way in there, too. And I'm like, I didn't even have pubes yet. I'm looking at that wing going, dear God, I don't stand a chance in this world. I'm carrying a peanut.

[Byron]

And that's when my sister dropped out.

[John]

Of veterinarian school when she had to jerk off a horse.

[Byron]

Well, she watched the. She watched it happen.

[John]

Artificial insemination. Yeah, it's weird. In eighth grade. It's real weird. If I was in vet school, I'd expect some animal stuff.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy said Dobson currently dissects baby sharks.

[Byron]

How?

[John]

I don't know. That's like black market stuff. How do you even get that? Go Mustangs. Mustang pride. They cut up baby sharks.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

And I'm sure the teacher's like, shark, baby shark tick. All right, today we're gonna hack up a sea life creature before it gets us. Anyway, here's what you'll never need in life. How to dissect a shark. Follow me. It doesn't make any sense why we do it. I've never understood it. This guy says, we dissected piglets my freshman year at Hamilton. And that was in 2000. Kelly Turley says, was the horse your teacher jerked off bigger than Sam Cassell? Yes, but it was close. It was much close. I'm not kidding when I say it was closer than you think. Sam Cassell, he needed both hands from shaft to tip, too. I mean, she was talking to us like it was nothing. You stimulate the animal with the. Just please stop jerking that horse off. Just. You should have done this before we got here and told us about it. We didn't have to see it, did we? Horses losing it. And I was like, this is. And I guarantee you, like Linkus or somebody standing with me was hard as a rock. I don't remember if Todd was there, but like, somebody was turned on by that. And it was all the girls that wore. There was nobody hot in there class. All the girls that wore those. Even in summer, long sleeve button up shirts with the arrow pockets like they were cowgirls. Gilbert was probably loaded with those. Those.

[Byron]

Those wrangler jeans.

[John]

S. Kicker girls.

[Brett Vesely]

Those Rockies jeans that they wore.

[John]

And rockers. Flat ass and, like, too tight.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep. At that time, they were. Yeah.

[John]

You wore boots to school, and they were just odd. And I was the only one that seemed like this shouldn't be happening. Is this okay? It's like, I signed up to see this. Cause I didn't know what I was getting into. Big, big, like, clear gloves. And then the dude with the yellow glove that went in the horse's ass. Meanwhile, Brett's down the road cutting the throat out of a cow. I can barely read, but I remember that. I remember head, thorax, tail. I remember all the stuff we killed if. I would be a genius if after each math problem I got to kill something. I remember all of it. All right. Great job on the word problem, John. And here's a muskrat. Why don't you take care of that and show us its guts? I'm never gonna forget how to do that math problem. I'd be great at geometry. Anyway, enjoy. Enjoy school. School's still going right now, or are they out next week? Are they done?

[Byron]

This is finals week.

[John]

Oh, they're getting it, all right.

[Brett Vesely]

Apparently, they've butchered chickens in ag class a couple weeks ago from Steven in.

[John]

Class system be lousy with chickens. Or six classes a day.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what.

[John]

I don't know what school that is. He didn't say, but I don't get it. I understand.

[Brett Vesely]

Farming eighth graders, dissecting frogs.

[John]

Why? I don't know. When in life did I need that again? Chopping that frog open and looking in there going, yeah, that makes sense. And then, like, six years later, I'm like, oh, thank God. I know that. It saved my life. It's never happened. Sitting in a bush, waiting for my whiz kid. Stupid frogs. Let me show you your guts.

[Byron]

You maybe run into a frog a couple of times after that?

[John]

In life?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. And the last thing I'm gonna do is cut him from his nuts to his throat and expose his innards. But that's what they taught me.

[Byron]

That we used to hunt them frogs? Yeah.

[John]

Why?

[Byron]

Frog legs.

[John]

You didn't eat frog legs.

[Byron]

My dad would.

[John]

He did not. Just threw it away. You never had frog legs prepared at the house? No. You never.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's vacation start.

[John]

He just killed it with a stick and then laughed and kicked it back in the water. You never once bagged him, brought him home. You were just a murderer of frogs for no reason whatsoever.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah, we did. The legs.

[John]

You ate the legs?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

You were eating chicken fingers. Your parents told you it was legs. They threw all that away.

[Byron]

Look, it. It happened two times, right?

[John]

But you're not. I guarantee you, you got lied to. If Bunny's here tomorrow, I guarantee you she'll be like, no, Brady, we prepared some nuggets for you and told it was your frog. We threw your frog. Nobody eats rogue pond toads between nuggets and frog nuts. You think you would, but you were just eating it so fast and your brain told you it was right. Nobody takes home pond frogs to mom and has her cook them up unless they're in West Virginia. You people were classier than that. You didn't. Oh, let me get the fryer ready. Brady. Great job. Rogue park toad. Good job. You weren't bringing home. You weren't a caveman bringing home a meal that your mom threw that out.

[Byron]

Last time I had frog legs. Don and Charlie.

[John]

Yeah. That's the only time. Oh, man.

[Brett Vesely]

How long ago was that?

[John]

That is. And I'm almost half convinced Don and Charlie's were just doing like, probably deep frying chicken feet. Nobody's. No, Don or Charlie were not sitting over Kiwanis just scooping up frogs. Let's get these over to the restaurant. People are going to love this. You don't just. You especially are in the woods killing a frog and bringing it home. Your parents are like, that's fine. Don't look into it. Just chop it up. Yep. Let me guess. You were with that Andy Less dock kid that killed all the kids.

[Byron]

No, it's with my dad.

[John]

You and your dad went out frog hunting?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

You sure your dad didn't drink?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Okay. It's tough to get dad off the couch to do stuff, but want to go frog hunting? Do. I'm starving.

[Byron]

It's always in the summer, late at night, you take the flashlight, the big. The big torch.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

And they're on the bank of the.

[John]

River that you're going down and they're looking at you like, what's up, man? How are you doing? And you just jam a stick through their heads and pretend to eat it. But your parents threw those right back in the water. Let's take Brady's haul down there and throw it back in the water. Starting to stink. He thinks we're giving. He thinks we're eating the legs. He's not. A break. Those are clearly chicken nuggets. They're actually still in the box. These are frog legs, right? Yeah, baby. We just keep them in the ten piece nugget. Box. Yeah. Looks like a steak. Yeah. Your mother prepares it. She's good. You didn't. They didn't. Your parents. Your mom might still lie to you because she doesn't want to hurt you. That your childhood has some lies in it. Zero chance. Your mother made frog legs that you two brought home from the stupid park Woman.

[Byron]

Get to work.

[John]

Cook these up. We killed for you again. I was just at the Thrifty. We have a store now, Tom. I killed for the family. Okay, that's enough. You two go to bed. And your mom just went bloop. Right in the trash. Took that trash out to the bin and then made you guys chicken nuggets. And the two of you dipped them in honey. Hey, these are the best ones I've ever had. Tastes like chicken. Exactly. Because it is. Your mom mastered, like, a frog leg cookie cutter and made YouTube sit there and watch Ohio State volleyball and eat chicken frog legs. Your mother never happened the volleyball. Your mother never prepared frog legs in that house, ever. Especially your home.

[Byron]

You might be right.

[John]

I'm 100. Could have been my dad now. Your dad didn't do it. Your dad might have tried. Your mom's like, tom, get out of my kitchen. Making a mess cooking these frogs that the boy and I found. I've married a retarded man. The boy and I found food. No, you didn't. You're jackassing around the park and you brought frogs home. They're good eats. No, they're not. What'd you do with the rest of the frog? Just threw it out.

[Byron]

Yeah, they just take them for the legs. Crazy.

[John]

No, they take them for the legs. Yeah. No, they don't. You see a lot of French, like, restaurateurs at that same park? No, because nobody takes them for the legs. They leave them alone. Something's wrong with you. I can't wait for Bunny to come. I'm gonna call tomorrow. Bunny? Yeah. Tell Brady the truth about the frog legs. Oh, God. That she's gonna roll her sister. I'm sure your sister was thrilled that you and Pops were dragging on her. She wasn't around.

[Byron]

She wasn't allowed to be around.

[John]

That's right. She had to prepare them. Your mom had frog leg batter ready. You're crazy to believe this ever happened. You and your dad are idiots. That's hilarious.

[Byron]

My brother was in on it. All right.

[John]

He's an idiot, too, then. Just kept YouTube busy eating nuggets. These are good. I'm gonna go kill more frogs tomorrow.

[Byron]

Nope.

[Brett Vesely]

Squirrel.

[John]

Yeah. Did you ever cook up A squirrel.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Did you? Yeah. I bet those probably taste a lot like chicken nuggets.

[Byron]

Nope, I'm good.

[John]

Chicken nuggets, not good. You ate more chicken nuggets than anybody I've ever met thinking it was other stuff. Put a little cheese and some gravy on it. He'd never know.

[Brett Vesely]

Brett.

[John]

6:29. Let's go. Yeah. It's cane sauce. You put cane sauce on it? What are these? I don't know, man.

[Byron]

If they had it back.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, Brady would be like, we got with my mom makes the frog dick and we eat that too. He's chicken nuggets. Don't worry. He's an idiot. I just. I can tell him anything as long as there's cane sauce on it. It could be a shoe hot dog.

[Byron]

That's a leg.

[John]

It might have been hot dogs. She just had a. She could carve out the little feet. Look at its feet. I'm a nom nom nom. I killed that.

[Toledo]

Texters are saying so the Bogan clan is single handedly responsible for the decimation of all the frogs in Ohio.

[John]

There's like some their appetites and actually what's funny, I went back there and it was November when I went back. The place is lousy with flies. There's Nothing stopping them. 6:30. Let's get a Wake up song, shall we? 58 5. 9,800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K u p d still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. There you go. Miles to nowhere. That is the second to last time we'll be hitting miles to nowhere on this show. Ouch. I guess maybe. No, we're going right in on it because these guys are done. They already sent it over.

[Byron]

It's in the can, bro.

[John]

That's right. It's in the can, Brady. That's right. Just like when you go to wiz.com eventually you say, it's in the can, bro.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[John]

I still love the idea of them wrestling around in that bush together and then they. It's like the pina colada song for before. Yeah, they're here to meet somebody else and turn to. Oh, it was you all along. Why can't pedophiles just each other and talk about the things they like?

[Byron]

I think they talk about the things they like a lot.

[John]

I'm sure. But why can't they ever just be like, will you shave? And then I'll do it. Like, next month I'll shave and then you can treat me like a tall twink, and I'll treat you like a tall play. Is it worth the risk of jail time to be that deranged when you could just have like, let's.

[Byron]

Evidently, let's.

[John]

I know. That's the thing that I don't get. It's like, let's have a pedophile convention and I'll go up and I'll speak at it. I'll be like, all right, you sick. Listen up. I got an idea. I'm gonna get. Well, I'm gonna get you guys free razors for the rest of your life. And, like, we'll shave you and then we'll narrow it and it'll be so smooth. You're gonna love this. And then you two can. You guys can all each other. And we'll dress up like, you know, Angus Young from ACDC and have you walking around like, all cutesy kid. And then you do that and leave the kids out of. Seems like an easy fix. I don't understand. And then wiz.com comes along and moms are like, finally, my homeschooled boy's gonna have friends and a social life.

[Byron]

Here's your AI baby.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Byron]

I. I mean, that's just ridiculous.

[John]

I was at a Walgreens a week or so ago and I saw one of them homeschooled kids. And you can. You can spot them because they're like little Nosferatus. They haven't seen the sun in like, ages. Or everything that moves is like, hey, what was that? You're all right. Just. I'm just grabbing a heat spark.

[Byron]

You're too close.

[John]

Damn.

[Ronnie]

I'm.

[John]

Eat your costume. You're in his personal space. This kid needs someone in his personal space. Trust me. He's. Every second, he just shouts out a math. 7 times 5 is 35. He's way too young to know anything, but he knows everything. He's like 5 and his mom's already teaching him calculus and stuff because they just won't stop. And he has got no social skills. Those are the ones that are moms. Like, he had a pizza party and we're gonna put it online and Nobody showed up. Quiz.com send them to Wiz. We are a show that helps people. I think we're inadvertently, almost sometimes we just say things that help. And I think warning you about the dangers of Wiz, the app for 12 year olds to meet other 12 year olds. The grinder for sixth graders. We all know the pitfalls of that and we've taught you that. This morning I get an email from a guy named Steve and it says, as I have said in the past, listening to you guys makes my life better.

[Brett Vesely]

Better.

[John]

You talked about cleaning your ass after surgery, John, which made me think. I'm having my right shoulder fixed next week. And based on what you said, reminded me to start practicing to clean my ass with my offhand. It took some time, but I'm getting pretty good at it. Going left. And I have another week to practice. But you're right, a few rough days to start. It would have sucked trying to do this, not realizing how hard it is after the surgery. So thank you for the good information. It is imperative if you have an injury to your. And know which I'm left hand dominant. I didn't even. I don't even. Most people don't even know. You have to think about how do I wipe my ass? I'm a lefty when it comes to that. I don't know why that is, but I am. And it's not easy. Go try practice that today. Just for fun. In case you get your arm lopped off. Try it. When you were you injured your wrist, were you southpaw? Did you go, were you okay?

[Brett Vesely]

I had to. But it was. It was off.

[John]

Yeah, it was.

[Brett Vesely]

That's just a proper crazy at first. You're like, wait a minute. You're like, I'm cheating on my ass.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, strange back there. It's like a blind guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

It's pin the tail on the disgusting donkey. Because you are trying to get your. Your fist ends up involved like the back of your hand. It's like when a kid eats chicken wings. There's food all over the back of their hand. So if you just for fun today, when you take a dump, wipe with your offhand. It's tragic. It's tragic.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like baseball. You'll be more valuable if you can switch it.

[John]

You'll get a better contract later if you can. And then you'll have no fears.

[Brett Vesely]

Wiping, jerking, you know, everything. Switch, hit.

[John]

Oh, that was important too, because the lefty tug was nearly impossible. But yeah. And you got to go over the top with it. It's like some weird person standing next. It's a stranger. It's called that for a reason. But you will make a bigger mess than you will clean anything the first three or four times. You'll understand. My shower after method, it's. It's tragic. And I don't want to hear from all you ambidextrous types. I can work with both hands. Good for you. You're rare. Look, Unicorn. Knock it off. But try it later today, Brady. Try it. You're gonna. It's gonna be on your stomach. You won't even know why or how. It's just gonna. How did I get it up here? Your hand is like a blind man in the dark trying to clean an entire room he's never been in before. I just want to know what the left hand's thinking. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are we going here? What are we doing? What are you doing? Hazy there starts batting it around like, no, I want out. And you're holding him hostage back there. So, Steve, good luck to you. I hope your shoulder surgery goes fantastic. You got a smart time to do it over the holidays. A couple weeks of no working. Nothing really to get lost on, but it's genius to start. They should do that at the core institute. They should say, all right, you're going to operate on your. They. They ask you, what's your dominant hand? I thought writing and throwing and like, my right. Like, all right, you'll be all right. We'll start by chopping up your left hand. I'm like, okay. My right hand going back there is a catastrophe. But I learned, and now I'm good with both. It's a mess. Yeah.

[Byron]

That's the punishment in the middle east, isn't it? I mean, if you get caught stealing, they cut your left hand off, your left hand.

[John]

Your wife in hand. Yeah, yeah. And I. I went.

[Byron]

So you see that the right hand. It's humiliation on top of the.

[John]

Yeah. Because then you're just a pariah social if you don't have a left hand. And everybody knows. We. We used to know which one not to touch. There was a kid who came from the middle east that went to dobson high, and he. And he would laugh at people when we would. Because he didn't. I think he still did it. I think they made. They made way all the way over the u. S. And he still had that kettle. They have a kettle that sit next to a hole in the ground. This is true. And they pour it down the crack of their ass. And then the left hand just starts to scrubbing and then supposedly go wash it. But it is crucial in the middle east to never touch a man's left hand. That's just a. It's just their way of going this is the way it is. We all accept it From Middle East. Well. What?

[Byron]

And then there's that.

[John]

That's right, Brett. What? Or there's that. I'm not even gonna risk touching there right now.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not now.

[John]

Either way, anyway. It's been. You know, I felt really bad last night. There was a. For the Steeler game. People came over. We'll put a picture of Dale walking through my side door as soon as.

[Brett Vesely]

I get to the Wake up song.

[John]

It's a. It's a glass side door that goes into a little crash room before you get into the Steeler bar. And. And it's frosted glass. So just see an image of a human being on the other side of it. Dale took. Dale. Hell street took a phone call on the other side of that. And behind it was my Merry Christmas light in the yard. And it was green, so it kind of glows back a little green. And then Dale's shadow in the window. I swear to God, if you had a child that would see that shadow and scream, Remember when Pee Wee Herman was walking down the street and peewee's big adventure in a shadow like he saw? And it was just a. It was a tiny little mouse or whatever, but the shadow hit it, made it look Frankenstein. It's Frankenstein. His head is completely square. He's taking up from the top of the door down. It's seven feet. It's giant squared off head. It's Frankenstein. It is absolutely Frankenstein. It's horrifying. And I saw it. And he stood there for, like, four minutes. And I said, guys, we stopped watching the game. Like, you gotta come see this. Like, Frankenstein's trying to break into my house. And everyone took pictures, and we were laughing. And so we got that great one there. That one's courtesy of Nick, I believe. Got hold of the one that I'm putting online because it's the best one.

[Byron]

It.

[Brett Vesely]

It looks like one of those Halloween images you throw in the window.

[John]

Yeah. Yes. If it's a screen or if you just had, like, a shadow cut out and you put. You. You decaled your window with it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm gonna post it on Instagram right now.

[John]

Nick. Surjourner. I don't know how to say your name. Nick. He's the one who got the picture. It's a good one.

[Byron]

And it was at the moment he was alive.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. There's a guy across.

[Byron]

He's getting off the table.

[John]

Yeah. And he's just standing in the thing. And it is Frankenstein. And we laugh for Half an hour. Horrifying. But after Dale came in, pizzas arrived from delicious Pat's Pizza. Plus.

[Toledo]

Great.

[John]

Who paid this week? Nick. Okay, Nick took the picture and paid this week, man. Or yeah, Nick paid this week. Or maybe Chris not Katero. Yeah, different guy. Katero. And you'd have to reach in and get it. And Katero not paying for pizza. It's just like, hey, the pizzas are here. It's like, where'd Chris go? And he's in the back hiding in a den. He made alligator arms. Yeah. Then he comes back and gets it all. But yeah. So the pizza. Pizza got covered. No worries. But they. We ordered three, and they only brought two. So we got back on the horn there and said, I gotta bring a pie. And then Megan comes over and goes, like, what's wrong? The third pizza is being delivered by someone named Saddam. I don't want it. I don't think I. My brain immediately went bigot. I don't want that. I don't want that. Saddam Pizza. No way. And sure enough, I go out to grab the pizza because I was already out front. And the guy comes up. There's two of them get out of the car. Two Saddams. And they wanted to get to the door. Like, I have to take a picture. I have to take a picture of it. I'm like, okay. It's like, I can hold it right here because I was in the driveway. There's no one has to be at the door. Like, no, I don't want you that close to the house. So this might be a no. What is that? Why is the pizza making. Here's extra bag. Hold this bag immediately. That's what my brain was doing. Couldn't have been a nicer guy. But he did go. He needs to take a picture of the door. All right. And he looked like, my brain doesn't work right. Saddam. It's. Look, if someone named bin Laden was delivering your pizza, you'd be like. Like, you just. You held on to the name Saddam. Adolf can't deliver my pizza either. I'm Adolf. How are you? It's your pizza from Pots Pizza. Plus you got to change your name, man. That's off putting. But Saddam, your pizza's being delivered by Saddam. Like, and I'm looking for tape on the pizza box. It's not there. And I'm like, you want some ranch? I have ranch. I have ranch. This bag is ranch.

[Byron]

You know, you'd have been curious if it's. Yeah. Our driver Adolf is coming over.

[John]

Oh, I'd Look, I looked at Saddam, but you got to change that name. And it's natural that you would feel like, oh, I should be. I should be wary of this Saddam police pizza delivery. But. So, yeah. But then they got out of the car, and I'm like, you look like two of the 19. You look just like those pictures on September 12th that were in the paper. Skinny little dudes. There's a pizza pie. I was talking.

[Byron]

Would you rather have. My name is Steve.

[John]

Oh, no. I wouldn't know what to say. But if it looked the picture and then the word Steve next to it, I'm like, I don't trust it. But I'm still. Saddam is like, I don't care. I'm proud of it all. I'm like, no, you can't be proud of the name Saddam. It's like when I went to Whole Foods that time, like in 2001, and I'm standing there and a dude went by dressed as bin Laden. I'm like, I get it, it's religious, but at least dye the beard. Don't go full, like, you know, salt and pepper, like the big boy. Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like bin Laden? Hitler ruined the mustache from the second he had it. Charlie Chaplin started it. Everybody thought it was cute. The second Hitler did it, it stopped being a thing forever and still hasn't made a comeback. Bin Laden had that big, bushy gray and black beard, and like, two years later, every hipster was doing the same. Like, it was cool.

[Brett Vesely]

Dale is on our Instagram page.

[John]

Is he okay? Perfect. Check it out. Bin Laden never ruined the beard at all. You'd think he would have, but Saddam, the name, it's over. That's over. And I understand. And this kid was probably 20 something. His parents knew better. You can't be named Saddam anymore. I don't care what it means in Arabic. I don't even know if that's right in your world. Saddam's no good. Just switch over to John or just Muhammad like everybody else. Kelly. Kelly's good. It's a good Middle Eastern name.

[Byron]

No one will know.

[John]

You can spell it funny with a little swirly over the Ls and then an I and a Y. Kelly, that's fine. Name stuff after movies like we do. Like Kala and What was that? What's Superman's dad's name?

[Byron]

Ka.

[John]

L. Ka L? Yeah.

[Byron]

Or Jael.

[John]

Jael, that's right. Yeah. That's a great one. But no more Saddams. Can't do it. Adolf out. The Germans recognized it. Right away and stopped naming people Adolf. Almost. Probably 1946. They're like, no more of the Adolf names. That's over. We caught everybody Kelly now. And then you have a bunch of Kelly's in German. So we are named Kelly. My parents were going to name us Adolf, but we've now a Kelly. You just know what my pants about thinking. And same down there in the Middle East. No more Saddams. And don't fly over here if your name's Saddam and keep it. Don't. It's. That's. That's not right. That's just not right. That's like Pole and going over to Cambodia and being named Paul. And like, you fly over there to live. You got to change your name to something else. Like Jeff or Mo. Yeah, Mo. Yeah, do what? Do whatever you need to do to get rid of Mo's good. Mom's fine. My name is Lily Saddam. But they had to change it because you guys have a beef. Yeah, we're still a little angry about that. We don't like him and we never did. You know, the water was unjust. Yeah, so be it. Either way, your guy was kind of a dick, so don't do that. We're kind of associated with some nasty stuff. So don't come over here all proud of that name. That's not a good one anymore. My name is Osama. No, no, no, no, no. You're done here. Your name is now Carl. You're Carl. I don't want to be Carl. I want to be Osama. Well, then you need to go home and be Osama. You can't be here. Yeah, that's good. I like that. I changed my name from Osama to azi. It's. It's close. I still enter to it almost immediately. But don't tell people your real name's Osama and go legally change that. Same with Saddams. If you're a Saddam and you're listening right now, odds are low that we have any. We're probably pretty low in the ratings with people named Saddam. I like corn. I like Pantera. What's your name? Saddam Hussein. No, I mean, people still give Barack trouble for. He was named Barack Hussein Obama way before we knew about Saddam. And people still beefed with him. He wasn't leading with it.

[Brett Vesely]

We're big in Djibouti. How are we in Tehran?

[John]

I mean, you know, no numbers. No numbers we're working on. Nielsen still doesn't have their clips out there, but I imagine that our idiot bosses up there in the bigwig chairs are like. You know, we have apps all over the world. I should probably target some of those people. Why are we so low in the ratings with Saddams? Let's spend a billion dollars on research on that.

[Byron]

We need to pick up the Persian numbers.

[John]

Sorry, Fitz, we gotta let you go. We gotta do a Saddam research program. We're low with Saddams. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio kupd, Holmberg's morning. Morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

How about we give away magic carpets?

[John]

That sounds like a great idea.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll boost some numbers right up.

[John]

Oh, and genie lamps. Genie lamps. Oh, we're gonna do great. I hate to say we're gonna kill it over there because they take that real serious, but how about pilot lessons just to take off. We'll do like KTAR does. I still think that's a good idea. KTR does the thing where they. If they. They do a secret code every once in a while, and they say, hey, morning, Maryvale. How you doing? And when they say that, if you're in Maryvale, you're supposed to check your emails, and then they bother you, and then one of you, like, wins. I don't know, free news. I don't know what they give away.

[Byron]

Oh, that's how it works.

[John]

Yeah, they give you, like, free news. Like, you get a couple stories nobody else gets.

[Brett Vesely]

Sharp's gonna come to your house and read you the news personally.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, I guess they just go up on stage at, like, Dodge theaters. Hello, Phoenix? Here's some news. I don't know what their concerts are, but, yeah, they bug it. But I think we should do that with names and try to boost name ratings. Hey, morning, Saddams. Anybody? Saddam out there? You just got yourself some corn tickets. Morning, Saddams. Check your email. But they don't say that at kjr. It's all, we should do that on the DL. You're not supposed to know it's a game. They just sound crazy for a second talking to a city name. Hi, Tempe. I love you, Tempe. How you been, Tempe? Like, we get it. We know what you're doing. Way to make that natural. I guess it's time for me to start talking about surprise. I'm Ladonna Harvey. Morning Surprise. I love surprise. I had to surprise on the rig. I go out there and I check out cigars and jock strips. The best jog strap store in the city. Surprise. And now back to fires and baby drownings. Hit it, Sharp. Thanks, Ladonna. Did I mention I like surprise? Yes, you did. You did.

[Brett Vesely]

Are we clear?

[John]

Are we clear?

[Byron]

Crystal.

[John]

Good. Now stand there in that news outfit and extend me a little courtesy. I'm Madonna. Harvey, God damn it. What kind of circus are you running around here? Sharp. Anyway, we should do that with names, but we're low in the. If. If there is a Saddam listening, please, by all means email me. Tell me why you won't change it. If there's an Osama listening, that's a tr in my household to be Osama. But you realize that not anymore. I mean, there was a surname of Hitler until 1945. And then even those people had the decency to like add an S to the middle of histler and stuff. That's close, but. And then by 1970 we'd run out of Hitlers. There's a few hanging around, but they all act like him. They're proud of it. You got to be done with that. Also, I'm not going anywhere on New Year's Eve this year. News got me scared. That thing that they said in Los Angeles, they had all those devices, time to go off at midnight, four of them. And they were going to blow up a bunch of stuff at midnight. And ISIS started to rear up again. It was down there in Australia shooting at people and they're never finding stuff. And Pam Bondi was all proud of herself on the news yesterday. So we got four of them, like. Yeah, but that means there's more. You got four. They didn't. They don't stop at four. There you go. That's. I'm staying home.

[Brett Vesely]

Aren't they canceling their stuff in Paris too for New Year's? Yes, because of that.

[John]

Because you just don't know. I'm not. I'll go to Caliento 6 o' clock show and then I'm going home. I'm celebrating New Year's at noon. I'm going to do the other 12. With 12 hours to go, ISIS is around again and I'm not comfortable with that at all. So I want everybody to be careful. This is another reason. I don't like that we legalize fireworks. It's cuz all that stuff's going off and you got all those noises and somebody starts popping off at the same time with a gun and you don't even recognize it because there's too many hillbillies trying to not blow their hands off with homemade fireworks. Being stupid. They got. You don't even realize that that's the QT down the road exploding. It's. Yeah, that's. That's some crazy stuff. If you read about that. And I don't know if that was more propaganda to say, hey, we got somebody. But it scared me. I'm not gonna lie to you.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm.

[John]

These colors ran. This one just ran right back into, like, well, cancel everything. Not from the 28th, 28th to the second. I'm going in the dungeon. I'm not afraid. I am. I don't want to blow up. I don't mind dying, but I don't want to blow up. I don't walk these streets with thoughts of getting blown up. Like, if. If somebody said, hey, we're thinking about blowing some stuff up. And I'm gonna wait that out till. I don't know. Nobody blows anything up on January 5th, right? But I mean, on 6th, almost do it. One up to six. I was gonna say, yeah, no, nobody. Like, really. Terrorists don't. Like, you gotta wait for days like that. But they had four of them, and they were timed and they had a plan and they had all this stuff. But those dudes might have been the decoy. I always think if you catch them, there's something else you didn't catch that's gonna go too. Might not be as big, but it's gonna be something. Screw that. No, thanks. ISIS has been quiet. Suddenly they're, like, popping off first day of Hanukkah. They got New Year's Eve stuff. Nope. And that's why you got to change your name from Saddam if you're my pizza delivery driver. Because I'm on edge. I don't want to be a bigot, but I am. And I have to admit that I see Saddam the pizza delivery driver. I have a little red flag goes up. He seemed very nice, but that's part of the plan, isn't it?

[Byron]

Delivered it with a Lamborghini.

[John]

I mean, it wasn't nice. It was a big. It was a. It had a 50 cal on top. It was a Volkswagen Bug. And Christopher Lloyd was in my cul de sac, screaming, the Libyans. But, Marty, the Libyans are bringing pizza. I don't know. Dad, Run. Marty, it's Saddam. I was like, I'm just getting the pizza. He was very adamant about getting close to the house, which, again, my inner bigot was like, I've got it. No, I have to take the picture by the house. And there's light for the house. Like, yeah, there's light by the house. All right, anyway. All right, follow me. I got cameras, by the way. Or do you tell me these things? I'm just Telling you, just in case that my cue, Dale in the doorway. Oh, no. It was the mountain of a man. We must hit him with the planes. Little prop planes start flying into Dale. Little drones. Hey, Johnny, what's going on here? I don't know. Saddam the pizza guy started droning stuff into you. It's as big as World Trade Center. Take him down. Anyway, I don't like it. It's a thing, though. Be careful. Everybody, I need you back here for January. Especially if we're going to start this name game. We need to be better with people named. Yeah, like, nobody named their kid Orenthal after 1993. I guarantee it. Like, OJ's not ever going to be a thing again. You're not going to risk it.

[Byron]

I know one. But he's right. He is younger than.

[John]

Even if it's. Yeah, if he's younger than. His name's oj.

[Byron]

He goes by Ornament.

[John]

You have an Orenthal?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Where did you meet a young saw Golfing. A young man named Orensal? Yeah, he's younger than OJ's murder or younger than OJ.

[Byron]

He was Ray Allen's accountant. Oh.

[John]

Oh, he's older than the murders, though.

[Byron]

Yeah, yeah.

[John]

I said after 95, nobody named it. Yeah, yeah, 94. 95.

[Byron]

Yeah. He was probably 15 during the murders.

[John]

Oh, yeah, that doesn't count. You could be an OJ before that. But if you're oj and you're 26, your parents were dicks. His name's Otis John Thompson. O.J. thompson. Really? You're doing this? OJ Thompson, You're a dick. He goes by oj. Nobody goes by that anymore. We're done with that. That you can't be OJ anymore. Can't be Adolf, can't be Saddam, can't be Osama, and you can't be oj. You just can't. Like, those are standout names. You can be Ted, you can be, you know, Jeffrey. Jeff. Yeah, those are too common. They can't get. But if you're nasty, if your last name is like Hammer, you can't be Jeff. You gotta know better.

[Brett Vesely]

No, Richard Ramirez.

[John]

No. No. You know, especially if you're throwing in the middle name of the killer. Richard Ramirez Thompson.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I'm Dick, actually.

[John]

Yeah, I like to go by Dick Ramirez. I'm the day stalker. It's a little twist on the fun game. Yeah. You can't do it, but don't. Yeah, Brady knew an Orenthal, but that was even then. That's weird. But you shouldn't know an orenthal anymore. Post 95 and Orenthal's right out. Even if it's just. Oh, if it's Oscar, Jeffrey, you know, Lanson, you can't do it. Just call emoji. Nobody's gonna do that. That's. That's dead in America forever and should be. So be careful. Saddam, the pizza guy. Pizza tasted pretty good. I think he was all right, but pretty, pretty, pretty good. I didn't trust it. I looked at it, I was like, okay, Saddam, you're bringing me pizza. I get it. It's funny. But can we just take the pizza back to Pat's and bring over a. Can I get a white delivery guy? Even a black? Saddam, it would be more comfortable if you just changed your name. You're like Larry David. Like, dumb Jew that. Come on, don't do that. It's pretty good pizza, though. Pizza from Saddam. Saddam's pizza. He would never have a pizza place. Like, what if that's his goal? I start delivering pizza for Pat, learn the ins and outs and start Saddam's pizza palace. Like, no, you can't do that.

[Byron]

Don't know how well that's gonna work.

[John]

You're never gonna have your own place. Although Brady would go in. I gotta check out Saddam's double P.

[Byron]

Give me a slice.

[John]

Welcome to Saddam's pizza palace. Can I help you? Our pizzas are the bomb. Oh, God. You think you're using a little too much oil. That is rightist. I'll be quiet.

[Byron]

We have you set up cave for four.

[John]

You have a nice cave over here. This is beautiful. Cave. All the tables are caves. Yes. You go inside with the farmers and the goats and YouTube high. How authentic. Is this how they eat pizza in the middle east? It's precisely. Now shut the door. Got him his pressure cooker. Yes, yes, it's. It's stereotypical, but it's what your brain does, and I don't like to ignore that. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there? And Cranston Munger just emailed me something terrible. Cranston, you're a horrible man, and I have to acknowledge that. That made me laugh. And I'm gonna throw up on you. What do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Wake up song brought to you by, of course, Action ride shop. Giving it to you guys for Christmas. That's right. It is time to get those Christmas presents ready. And, you know, no better place to get your beach cruiser to cruise around the neighborhood or just, you know, follow the kids around, ride the canals, whatever. But 20% off, all in stock beach cruisers right now at Action Ride Shop. Plus, don't forget, winter is coming. Even though it was 80 the other day, it's still getting cold up north.

[John]

So winter is coming.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. You want to get the skis, the snowboards, the bindings, the boots, everything. Action Ride Shop is your place to be. Actionrideshop.com they're gonna take care of you.

[John]

This guy says he stopped at a Loves truck stop last week from Michigan to Iowa. And the manager that was there had a name tag that said Whitler. He said they're still around. His name tries. It's pronounced Whiteler. Please don't. Whatever says Whitler. I think you just put a W in front of it, you jerk.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, on the list. Wasp, for some reason. Alice in Chains. Frogs. Except Black Sabbath. Motorhead. Born to Raise Hell for Trump. Anthrax Edgar Winner. Frankenstein for Dale. Electric Call Boy. Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, AC, dc, Soundgarden, and Pantera.

[John]

Yeah, that picture of Dale on our Instagram is going to make you go, okay. It'll send a chill down an adult spine. If you didn't know who that was and that walked up to your door and you didn't expect anybody.

[Brett Vesely]

12 gauge.

[John]

12 gauge. You'd hide. The kids immediately go, jesus. They invented one.

[Brett Vesely]

Break out the torches and the pitchfork.

[John]

His silhouette is.

[Brett Vesely]

I got it on Facebook now, too. So it's on our social.

[John]

Flat top of the head. He's on the phone. So on the other side of the door, you just hear. It's like, oh, Jesus, it's coming to life. Fire bad. Shut the door. Dale, get away from the light. I don't care. Brett, pick one.

[Brett Vesely]

I like the Metallica of the Motorhead myself.

[John]

Which Metallica?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm seeing the Day that Never Comes.

[John]

Oh, yeah. You know, we haven't heard that in a while. I like that one. All right. Day that Never Comes. Okay, let's do that. Welcome to Muhammad PI. Can I help you? Yeah, I'll have a pep. Mush. No pep. Oh, ham and pumpkin. No ham.

[Byron]

Bacon? Bacon?

[John]

Anything like that? No bacon. What toppings do you have? Goat. You have goat? Goat toppings. Goat and pineapple.

[Brett Vesely]

Goat cheese, too.

[John]

Goat cheese. We have goat cheese. That's right. We use goat. No, mozzarella. Mozzarella. Listen to the those whop. Zatziki is Greek. You son of a. Don't confuse the. The stereotypes. Zatziki is not related to Greek. I would never eat with Homicide, but never eat some of that anal rape Greek. This is disgusting. Nothing's wrong with you. Sorry about that. He's new anyway. Gold pineapple goat cheese.

[Brett Vesely]

Still a training.

[John]

You don't have sausage? No sausage. Goat.

[Byron]

Baba ganoush.

[John]

He's brand new. I have to apologize. They don't serve that either. Just got pizza served on bread. Unblessed.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like the Olympia bar from Saturday Night Live.

[John]

No Coke, Pepsi? They're just Pepsi and goat. I have a meat lovers that's just goat with extra goat. I'll have that. This cheese isn't bad. That's right. Eat the pizza by. Welcome to Muhammad's. Muhammad's Pizza. I can't do it. I would. Muhammad Pie. I could eat Muhammad pie. Although I probably would. You go in. I'm asking you.

[Brett Vesely]

Muhammad Pie. Oh, why would I do that?

[John]

You would. I could find out what they make for pizza over there. You'd go into Muhammad Pie? For sure. Look at him smiling. You started to smile uncontrollably.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Where is it? I wouldn't go to Muhammad Pie. Names are big for like even like places to eat Muhammad Pie. Saddam's Pizza Palace.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John]

No. We deserve the goat. What is the basic cheese pizza? If you want to. But we call that the Larry. The boring cheese pizza is called the Larry. It's just a Middle Eastern cheese crisp. What are you doing? Put topping on it. And by the way, could you get your woman out of here? I can see her ankles. I'm going to throw up from the whole skin. Sorry about that. Yeah, Ronnie, go act in the car. Then your ankles are out.

[Byron]

Put some socks on.

[John]

I'll put a big sock on. And then that beekeeper outfit we have, go get that. Or we can't get one of the caves. He won't let us sit down. Is she menstruating? If she's menstruating, I have to burn the building down. I don't know.

[Byron]

You're menstruating.

[John]

Ronnie, she's not.

[Byron]

We have river and back.

[John]

It's your big red river. She go back with it deeper in the river and then sent her down with her whore. Menstruation cycle. Get her out. She makes me sick with all of that face and skin and hands and such. Anyway, sit down. Pizza got delivered to my house last night. It's 7:26. I don't need a problem with him. He was a nice man. I'm just saying that. Call me crazy, but I think I'm like all the rest of us. That made me think you can't not Notice that your driver's name is Saddam.

[Brett Vesely]

So are you more scared of Saddam coming to the door or dale?

[John]

Hundred percent. Yeah, Saddam. Saddam looked like he's all right. It just made me think. I'm still bigoted towards the name. It's Metallica right there. It's the day that never comes. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully E. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] that one has won me over. That is Daughtry. It's called the bottom I'm a child. That's a good one. I like that one quite a bit. And it's got his album out. Shock to the system, part two. Sorry I missed the first one, but I like this. I like the beginning of the sequel. That's pretty good, Daughtry. Nice job. Great hair, too. And it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report, and it's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. They're Arizona's best patio shades. I just got a text from Alvina, one of our regulars, when she fired over a picture of the all pro shade truck heading off to make another shady deal. Brady, they're heading on over to somebody's place to add a beautiful install to somebody's house, and they can do that for you. They'll get you free installation on all their products, and you call them up and they'll give you a free estimate. They come out, give an idea to you like, I want to shade this. What do you do? They show you all the products they got, and it is more than just like a single thing. Loads of options. And they're custom built to block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. That's the bad ones. They cut the dust. They cut the wind. You get the motorized ones, and when the weather shows up, those motorized ones suck themselves right back into their cubby and make sure that there's no damage done and you don't have to chase an umbrella into the pool like I did a couple years ago. And I still have scars mentally and physically from that. So AllProchade.com is where you go.

[Byron]

One other nugget is if once you get, like, my motorized awning.

[John]

Yeah. If I move, they bring it with you.

[Byron]

They can. Yeah.

[John]

Is that right?

[Byron]

And reinstall it in your new place if it works, you know, for which most of the time they do. And same with this screen.

[John]

I wonder how that works, though, if, like, somebody buys your house, they'll pro.

[Byron]

Well, they would ask, say, I would like to buy.

[John]

Because if it's attached, you're supposed to keep it. So you should probably take it off before you start selling it.

[Byron]

Oh, they, they. If they take it off, they.

[Brett Vesely]

It's patched up or you put it in.

[John]

Oh, no, no. That's what I'm saying, though. Yeah, you can have it if they ask. But I'm saying if it's attached to the house, it's supposed to stay. If nobody says anything, you can't just have. You might.

[Byron]

Because they do that.

[John]

Look into that one.

[Byron]

Do that the same, you know, with solar.

[John]

Oh, sure. You can move.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah. You know, if you move.

[John]

Yeah. They don't take it off the house, though, every time. Like, they have to make a deal. Like, I don't think they can just strip the house of solar if you've sold.

[Byron]

I think they do.

[John]

If you've sold it. I don't think so.

[Brett Vesely]

You got to put it in your listing ahead of time.

[John]

Yeah, don't. Don't trust that. You know, start taking things apart.

[Byron]

But shoulder house and the listing, you'd say the awning's not included or whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

Or you just sell it with the house and buy a new one. You know, mark up the house a little bit and buy a new one.

[John]

Yeah, exactly. The deals are too good.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

Brady's going crazy. Stop taking your house apart. When you sell it, it has to be the guy spying and come back. And we took all the doors off. We like those, too. It's like, what the hell happened here?

[Brett Vesely]

Richard Pryor.

[Byron]

I just remember that was one of the things I mentioned when I was okay if you want to move it.

[John]

Sure. It's like DirecTV. You got to get it all set up and get it out of there. Yeah, there's some gray areas there, but still.

[Byron]

Tuesday morning.

[John]

Hold on. AllProchay.com. don't listen to Brady. Brady. Go ahead, report it.

[Byron]

Happy National Chocolate Covered anything day.

[John]

Not anything Liver.

[Byron]

Arizona. It's bananas.

[John]

That's a good combo. Great combo, actually.

[Byron]

Almonds are like eight states. New Mexico. I was looking the one. Let's see. Brit. Illinois is prunes. No, I'm just kidding. It's raisins.

[John]

Close. Same thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, Raisinets.

[John]

What's Indiana? My boys are.

[Byron]

Indiana was mine's weird home state. Indiana is bacon, all right. Along with Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Iowa, Missouri. They love that bacon you had.

[John]

Ohio was on there, too.

[Byron]

Ohio is pickles.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Chocolate covered pickles.

[Byron]

Yeah, that's.

[John]

That sounds terrible. Oh, what about Toledo's Montana.

[Byron]

Is strawberries.

[John]

Oh, okay.

[Byron]

Or incorrect cherries for Montana.

[John]

How'd you miss that?

[Byron]

Because they have a bunch of states listed here and then they stop. And cherries in Maine, Montana.

[John]

Oh, I see. Okay. It's not everything. Not chocolate covered anything. You don't want to do that. I put that under no pickles. Pickles is a bad one. Chocolate covered chicken. Chocolate covered refried beans. I can think of a lot of things that chocolate covered anything you should probably omit.

[Byron]

I try that.

[John]

No, you won't. Chocolate covered refried beans.

[Byron]

Chocolate covered mayo.

[John]

I don't like mayo to begin with, but that probably would mix in pretty nice chocolate covered bean burrito.

[Byron]

Like dip in a cone like Dairy Queen. You want the hard shell chocolate.

[John]

Just getting like, just bite in. There's cheese and.

[Byron]

Couple of basis fun facts. Dick Van dyke recently turned 100 years old.

[John]

Seemed doing those crunches.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

Unreal. The dude's doing sit ups and then he gets up, he starts flopping around. I'm like, I don't think he's like, he's electrified. There's. That's incredible.

[Byron]

So he recently turned 100. During his lifetime, Babe Ruth hit 405 home runs while he was alive.

[John]

Well, Dick Van Dyke was a kid.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John]

How about that? That's right, Lara. He's got the craziest old man voice now. It's gotten, hello, how are you? Like, Jesus, what happened to Dick? He's been dead for eight years. I'm gonna do some sit ups. Lara.

[Byron]

80% of the pretzels in the US are made in Pennsylvania. Since the NFL draft began, 41% of the number one picks have been quarterbacks.

[John]

You got to get that one right. You don't get that right, you ain't got a team.

[Byron]

It's been that's 37 out of 90. It's been even more popular in recent years. 21 of the past 28 number one.

[John]

Picks, quarterbacks, running back has to be second and probably defensive end or I.

[Byron]

Wonder if it's a like offensive tackle.

[John]

No, that's rarely the number one overall pick. I think it's been like five guys total. I think you'd be looking at quarterback, running back, then defensive ends, the most important positions on the field.

[Byron]

It would take five minutes to knock someone out by holding a rag soaked in chloroform under the nose.

[John]

No kidding.

[Byron]

In the movies it just takes seconds.

[John]

Yeah. Ask those guys who are on wiz.com they say it's faster too. Must be the smaller prey. Whiz.comWiz the app that is like arrest the dude who invented it. It's a place where it's 13 year old Grindr. I mean Tinder.

[Byron]

The kiddos can meet each other.

[John]

The kiddos and well you know we can. We can supervise. I'll be there.

[Byron]

Merriam Webster's word of the year is slop. They find it as digital content of low quality that is produced usually in quantity. Basically it's AI slop.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not a new word.

[John]

You all right? Yeah.

[Byron]

I agree with you, Brett.

[John]

That was strong.

[Byron]

We've got a woman in New Zealand. A long list of offenses. Recently she stole a lay of lamb from a grocery store and brandish it as a weapon. Now, May Johnson is her name. She walked out of the store with $250 worth of stuff in her cart, including that leg of lamb. An employee tried to stop her, but she kept going. She loaded all the groceries onto a city bus but couldn't or wouldn't pay for the fare. She demanded someone to pay for her. She eventually got into into it with a transport officer. She grabbed the leg of lamb, raised it over her head like she was going to club him with it.

[John]

How big was this leg of lamb? That size of your arm, isn't it?

[Byron]

Nice size club.

[John]

What the one like were they Mordor lambs? It is New Zealand. Is it like a Lord of the Rings? Lamb was like 15ft tall.

[Byron]

No.

[John]

Yeah. It's regular old lamb.

[Byron]

The opposite.

[Toledo]

Wouldn't it.

[Byron]

She put.

[John]

It's a woman.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

This is an easy fight.

[Byron]

Thanks. Thankfully they say she put the leg of lamb down and left the bus. But she did steal the driver's cash box. Had 125 bucks in it. This all happened in April. But she's in court now. Turns out she's stolen all sorts of stuff over the past year. She pled guilty to 26 different charges. One of those crimes involved a sex toy she stole from an adult store. Two weeks after the leg of lamb thing, the store said the it was a Playboy branded toy worth 270 bucks.

[John]

Sex toy. All right. She was gonna use that leg of lamb for dirty. By the way, David has emailed in and said, well, Brady just passed John with the big nose. I know what you're saying there. Yeah. Says wanting to strip his entire sold house to save a few bucks. Yeah. You can't strip your home. You gotta. You gotta make agreements with that. If people come by and buy your House like this is beautiful. And then they show up the day they're supposed to take it over and the doors, windows and awnings are missing. It's like, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. This. I took them.

[Byron]

There's a naked Christmas tree trend going on right now.

[John]

You don't decorate it.

[Byron]

Yep. You could put. Some people still call it naked when it's just the lights.

[John]

Decorate your dance.

[Byron]

Celebrities are posting pictures in their home.

[John]

Why? What's the political message? Something being shoved down our throat.

[Brett Vesely]

Trump decorated his tree, so they're not decorating theirs.

[John]

I put many ornaments on a tree. I look, that's great. And I think that all the celebrities that don't do it are terrible people. They hate Jesus, they hate Jesus and they hate the Jesus tree, which I call it. That's a Christmas tree. I'm going to call it the Jesus tree.

[Byron]

People who like it argue that it's a less, less is more thing.

[John]

That's right. They're all those people who hate billionaires. They're all Luigi Mengiones. They don't decorate their trees because it's. It's opulent. I do decorate my tree and I just signed a decree that the tree is now the tree of Jesus. We call it that like the Gulf of America, Christmas is canceled. It's now Jesusmas.

[Byron]

Researchers at the King's College in London found these are the three foods that are best. If you've been going to holiday parties and eating a lot of food and you're. You're blocked up, these are the ones that will loosen things up. Some were pretty odd. Prunes, high in fiber. Kiwi. And the third one is rye bread.

[John]

I don't want any of those with that chocolate dipped kiwi.

[Byron]

They said as far as a liquid coffee is a pretty good one for them.

[John]

If you don't decorate your tree, why do you even put a tree up?

[Byron]

All right.

[John]

You're like lazy.

[Byron]

Let alone, I feel, you know, Especially if you're using a live tree too.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Just putting it up there. It's like a. Oh yeah.

[John]

Tree in your house.

[Toledo]

You've spent the money on an art.

[John]

Decorate the damn tree.

[Toledo]

Don't do anything. Right.

[John]

It's. It's got to be some sort of less is more. We're so, you know, addicted to surface and we don't need it. Oh, God. You hippie. You cut a tree down already. You're going against everything you believe in. Door.

[Byron]

Got a follow up story. Remember that drunk raccoon?

[John]

Do I.

[Byron]

That passed out in the Liquor store in Virginia. The shelter that rescued him launched a merch line called Trashed Panda to raise money. It's brought in $250,000 so far. Hoodies, T shirts. You go [e-mail]. trash Panda.

[John]

It's Trash, not trashed. Oh, because he was drunk. Because they call raccoons Trash Pandas. Yeah, Trashed Panda. I get it. I like that. Trash Panda is a great name. I have this year's list of band names already, by the way. Nate fired. Yeah, I got it. I printed it yesterday. We'll be going through that.

[Byron]

We got a new Guinness world record. Over 1400 couples got together and kissed under a mistletoe.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Previous record was one at a time, right?

[John]

Not like big slobber festival.

[Byron]

Everyone linked together. No, it's couples.

[John]

No, just big deal.

[Byron]

Well, there's. 480. Was the.

[John]

It's probably happening right now.

[Byron]

It's 1435 couples.

[John]

There's more than 1400 people in the states making out right now.

[Byron]

Under one missile.

[John]

Yeah, that's dumb. How do you get. How do you have time in your life for that to go down and do that? Like, you got to plan that. I got to go down to that mistletoe thing. We're. Break a record. How do you.

[Byron]

Let's do it.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John]

That's. No guy is interested in that. If he is, he's a cuck.

[Toledo]

Honey, what are we doing Friday, your.

[John]

Wife got on Instagram and saw something stupid, and she a. She needs a job or something to do because this is too much. You come humping at home from a day on the roof. Don't forget Saturday's mistletoe breaking records day. Oh, Christ, I hate her. We're gonna go do that, then we're gonna postina with my friends.

[Brett Vesely]

No, it's a little worse than going and posing in front of that love sign there in Scottsdale.

[John]

There's a line for that, right? Well, now that's over, because they all posed for that in October when it was 92 degrees and they were in their winter sweaters with their kids and their husbands, sweating it out. That Christmas card jerks. It's so unique. I've got four already this year. I like when they dress up. I have a friend who dressed up his whole family and in, like, I don't know, beach wear, and they all just kind of stood, like, on the beach together. It is the gayest thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, five or six kids. And, like, these people in. And their pants are all rolled up like they're going clamming, clam digging like here's where we are. Good for you. Good for you. Thanks for that. Sharing that. I don't know.

[Byron]

Bobby's not a student.

[John]

I don't know your kids names.

[Byron]

Got a full ride.

[John]

Merry effing holidays from the big red radio. Holg's morning sickness. Larry still has down syndrome. And there's really no signs that's gonna get better ever. But he's fighting. He still shouts the N word now and again. Yay, Larry. Yay. Larry's got disabilities. We're in a McDonald's. He almost got knocked out. They just thought he had big eyes. Just shouting the N word. He said the mick N word too. It's like he made it all cute inside. He's a terrible boy, but he's got a thing. Mommy won't yell at him.

[Byron]

Here's a Christmas present idea for you, John. You can pre order it. Alice. Aeronautics are gonna be rolling out the first flying car. The Aleph a ultralight by early 2026 propellers. It's like a drone.

[John]

Yeah. You can sit in it.

[Byron]

You. It's. It's a car and it no wings when you're flying. So it goes straight up.

[John]

It's like a helicopter.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[Byron]

The flight distance is 110 miles. They're saying the car can drive 220.

[John]

Isn't this sort of the same as da Vinci's flying machine? Here's just that little pod with a propeller on top.

[Byron]

Picture.

[John]

Oh, it's kind of cool.

[Byron]

Yeah. And it's got, you know the. Oh, it's really cool doors and they.

[John]

So the whole top is almost mesh. So the props are hidden inside.

[Byron]

Yeah. Oh, that's elevates.

[John]

Okay.

[Byron]

300,000.

[John]

What?

[Byron]

They've already got 3, 3, 500 pre orders totaling a cool 1 billion.

[John]

Where like God, these power lines are going to be a problem. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

The problem is is when you see those things with Saskatchewan plates and British Columbia. We're screwed.

[Toledo]

Yeah, John's right though. You'll be able to get one at a discount.

[John]

No old people. Yeah, that's true. They'll buzz them down. But you're not going to have any power. You can't do it on the Internet. Old people aren't going to buy those. They're going to get crashed into, you know, scary things. Asians invented it.

[Byron]

And landing ability straight up announced for those ideal navigate navigating the bumper to bu urban environment.

[John]

Just go over it.

[Toledo]

Get in now while there's no rules.

[John]

I was gonna say wild, Wild west is up above us.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine how fast Saddam can deliver your pizza in one of those.

[John]

Two minutes or less. Yeah, the last thing I want is him flying.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

[John]

Don't worry. The pizza will be there. Landing might be a little rough. Yeah, I. I want the flying cars, but the logistics of it. We're not quite ready. I'm looking out right now. Nothing but power lines up and down 52nd Street. They cross behind the LGE building.

[Toledo]

You don't want to catch a crosswind right here.

[John]

Larry and I lost control of our big drone here at the station.

[Toledo]

Once you were going to land on.

[John]

The freeway, it started to go to the freeway on its own. Like it had a. Like there was a Muhammad in. Went up off the roof. And we were so excited. Like, look. And it caught the radio tower waves and tells us clearly on the instructions, don't fly this by radio tower. And there's one right behind. We're at a radio station. We're idiots gone. And it just went up and it turned left and went and just took off. We're like, that's going to the freeway. And we, you know, home, home, home, home, home, Gone. Luckily, it crashed into the video west building next door. It hit one of the trucks on its way to the freeway. They were kind of mad. And Trip had his. Nobody's allowed to fly drones here anymore. He had his next to go, too, though. When it first took off, he's like, oh, no. Oh, that's heading towards the 202. Larry, you're fired. I don't have any pretty videos, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm light. All right, well, it's the holidays.

[John]

Reason to watch people eating their toes. But I'm sure we've got this one.

[Brett Vesely]

Came from, like, Brady's feed.

[John]

All right, we're on a Middle Eastern bus that's in a river of probably just. Yeah, it's feces and bomb making materials.

[Toledo]

And there's a. Yeah, you got Brady's feet.

[John]

Exactly. It's a van full of people with Middle Eastern writing everywhere. Now there's somebody on the front of them. The water's washed.

[Byron]

There's a driver.

[John]

There's water washing them down. Oh, boy. Here we go. Oh, no. It's going into a. They're still. Okay, it's still. It's still floating. That's a good van. Now it's going over. Now it's going sideways. It's going down the river there. And now it's turned over there. They're not gonna. Oh, we have. We have. There's one of them hanging out of it. We have. After photos, I assume. I think I'd rather die than be Middle Eastern. No. Than what?

[Byron]

Well, that.

[Brett Vesely]

But. But walking around this water.

[John]

Oh, yeah. Look at that disgusting muddy river. Oh, yeah. There's just people laying. All right, thank you, Brett. That was disturbing.

[Byron]

Go.

[John]

Pizza will be late.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we'll lighten things up. Careful, there's cussing on this one.

[John]

Okay, I won't turn it up. The lady covering.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you kind of got to at the beginning. When she pulls away, then you need to.

[John]

Okay, at the beginning, you tell me when to turn it up.

[Brett Vesely]

You can turn it up now.

[John]

Okay. Oh, there's a lady farting into the mouth of another woman. All right, There's a lady just farted into a mouth of a friend. She's still going. Oh, she's back in there.

[Toledo]

Not how you give mouth to mouth.

[Brett Vesely]

Is she doing the pullback?

[John]

Okay, yeah, every time. Every time. Her mouth is not on the butthole. She's cussing. Okay. She's a classy broad. Yeah. Whistling Willie. So every time I turn it down, you know she's cussing. Every time I turn it up, her face is attached. Let me see if I can time that again.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, hang on.

[John]

Let's try that again for timing sake. Her mouth is over it. Okay. She pulls back. I gotta turn it down. And she's taking her breath after having a fart in her mouth. And she's back at it. All right, she's pulled out. She's pulled out again. She's breathing it out. The other one's kind of cute. The farter.

[Brett Vesely]

Those pieces.

[John]

All right, here we go. Somebody's gonna marry one of them.

[Toledo]

The cleanest one we've seen.

[Brett Vesely]

She's not bad looking either.

[John]

No, they're both kind of pretty.

[Toledo]

Usually we see the whole knot.

[Byron]

What got me's a little juice came out.

[John]

Yeah, that did. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, she was deep in there. That could be spit. That could just be a transfer of spit. No, look, that's.

[Toledo]

That's how things work down there.

[John]

That's what the ladies do today. You know what? Our grandparents tried it. Just too much hair. There's a truck backing up. Well, the guy's behind this truck full of rocks. It's a flatbed of rocks. And he doesn't. How do you not hear that? How do you not hear that? Oh, he's smashing him into a wall. Oh, no. Oh, the Truck is wild. Well, he's hit. That's a murder. That truck driver knows there's a wall there. He pinned a guy at work up against the wall. He did that on purpose. Oh, you definitely investigate that. That wasn't an accident.

[Byron]

Complete accident.

[John]

No way he hit a wall. He's gonna get fired either way. Might as well take a guy down. All right, here's another one of a lady.

[Brett Vesely]

This one's entitled Getting rid of it the Old Fashioned way.

[John]

Oh, no. Oh, God. There's a. She's got her belly, and then a guy's punching her in the stomach and, like, rubbing his stomach or his fist deep into her tummy. Oh, this is a. This is a Middle Eastern abortion. That's what you're saying. And he's just punching this lady in the guts. Oh, man. This is like Cannonball Thompson. This guy's just swinging away at this lady's stomach. She's not pregnant. She's fat. But Miguel Cotto, her boyfriend, is just tearing into her. She seems okay with it. Oh, man.

[Brett Vesely]

Peso Pluma's got a left on him, man.

[John]

Threw a nice combo at the end. He was a little too deliberate with his. His hands. Like, he could see that right coming, and he needed to follow. But then at the end of the through, a nice little three, and this.

[Brett Vesely]

Is just stupid goofy because we were talking about biology class.

[John]

Okay. Oh, geez. All right, here we go. This guy's got. He's banging a science skeleton. He's banging the skeleton from the science class from behind.

[Brett Vesely]

We should show Larry the other one.

[John]

You need to get back to crashing drones around the building. Oh, my God. Never again. I'm never gonna. When you bring yours in, I'm running.

[Byron]

Away, telling Tripp just the other day.

[John]

That we gotta get the drone club. Never, Larry. You almost crashed it into the 202. We could have been. We'd have been international news, us idiots. There you go. I ran from that. That was horrible. Anyway, I enjoyed that one a lot. That dude banging that skeleton is the weirdest thing ever.

[Brett Vesely]

While the farting one, too.

[John]

The farting one is. Yeah. Do you want to watch that again? Let me see that again.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, sure.

[John]

There. You need to put headphones on and see this. How loud do you think that car is? That flying car? I don't care. My bronco's loud. What do I care? Put some blades on it. Let's go.

[Toledo]

Your bronco's only loud.

[John]

Yeah, I know, but that's still loud. The thing would be loud inside and out.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, Larry, you got to put headphones on for this.

[John]

Larry, put headphones on. You gotta listen. You're gonna enjoy this.

[Brett Vesely]

You got. You got your timing down again.

[John]

It's Hanukkah. We're gonna give you one video for Larry for the next eight days. Yeah, I got my timing. I know what happens. Watch this, Larry. These two are in love.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady loves this one.

[John]

Here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

Here we go.

[John]

Oh, sorry.

[Brett Vesely]

Start over.

[John]

She's farting into her. Into her mouth. And then the next one's really good. Here we go. She's backing. Happy Hanukkah. One more, Larry. Watch this. And you're gonna like this one. This is the best one. All right, now she's got it. She's. They're good friends, by the way.

[Toledo]

Wow.

[John]

I'm a child. Wow, that's some Hanukkah guilt right there. That. That's going on somewhere right now. Brady, there's a couple ladies. In a city of 5 million, the population is probably. Let's say it's 10% are homosexual on average. So we got a thousand of those. I want to say 18,000 people are eating ass right now. In the homosexual community.

[Byron]

Higher, Bob.

[John]

In the hate. In the homosexual community. They're starting their day.

[Toledo]

Farts.

[John]

Oh, no, no, not the farts. The farts. Let's break that down. Just gay farts. Yeah, no wonder. Hold on. A city of 5 million. Yeah, somebody that move right there with the farts and the anal and the attractive total in the city.

[Byron]

Hetero.

[John]

Hold on. Hetero. And no, he can't start doing it. That's relative. Hetero and homosexual. Or just the homosexual community, because I can put a good number on both. I'm basically the Danny Sheridan the fanduel. I can make the line. Total population 5 1/2 million people eating farts Right now keep in mind, Brady.

[Toledo]

This is a big creator town.

[John]

73,000 way high. 73,000 out of 5 million.

[Brett Vesely]

That includes a Roosevelt district, right?

[John]

Yeah. Okay, there's 73,000 is a good number that somebody is just buried in a butt at 8, 16. A lot of morning sex. You don't think there's 73,000 people?

[Byron]

Maybe a dozen.

[John]

Do you have maybe. Adam, the metro area. Well out of 5 million are currently performing that fast play. It's in the thousands. Heavy five. Five figures. Easily between 50 and 73,000.

[Byron]

No way.

[John]

D Gen populate. All of Apache Junction wakes up to that to their alarm. Maryvale0. Because none of them are up yet.

[Toledo]

Like Brett said, the Roosevelt district's put some Techies.

[John]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

They're all over.

[John]

And then the. There's all those new Indians from the east. Not the feathers, but the ones that are building that intel. Oh, they're doing it like crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

You see the rivers they swim?

[John]

That smell reminds them of home.

[Toledo]

All the Taiwanese up north with the other semiconductor.

[John]

We played Daughtry before, but they're doing. I'm home to a place where I belong, Where the fart smell is inside of me. I'm going home. Have you hear that? It's like morning prayer. And that is up in Chandler by the intel building. We're going home.

[Toledo]

Gemini puts the LGBTQ population of Phoenix at 106,000.

[John]

Thousand. That's it. That's. I gave them.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the only ones that are claiming.

[John]

Come on. There are some dabblers.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Toledo]

It's not as safe.

[Byron]

You're saying they're included in that number?

[John]

That's a low number. Out of. That's like 2%. I'd have them. I put them at 10.

[Toledo]

The entire population is doing it.

[Brett Vesely]

Are you sure you're not just checking the Roosevelt district on that one?

[Byron]

I mean, you know, dozen.

[Toledo]

You know, that significant and growing population. So right now, it's a low estimate at 100.

[John]

There's loads of people into farts. Like, that's just. Oh, baby, what's for breakfast? That kind of stuff's going on all over. Do that one more time. Mama, that's like bacon. Gold Canyon.

[Toledo]

Is that a Gold Canyon resident?

[John]

Yeah. Now, you out there at the intel. Mama, I'm coming home.

[Toledo]

Pins him at the Melrose District, the central Phoenix.

[Byron]

And Tempe.

[John]

I'm going home to a river where I belong. Oh, yes. Good morning, sunshine. Yes. Oh, two rupees. That's for you. Oh, Gotchis. Sunrise at the Taj Mahal. That's people like, farting on each other. Brady, you're just 12. A dozen. That's happening in a safe way right now. People just in the park, one party. Yeah. 11 more of those. That's it. In this giant city.

[Toledo]

12 people or 12 couples?

[Byron]

12.

[John]

Well, they'd have to be couples. You'd have to. You can't do it to yourself if you're. Oh, how many people are sitting in their own brew enjoying it right now? Couples are 12 million and a half. At 12 couples, it has to be couples. Rich can't have 12 individuals enjoying getting farted on.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, that would be just a BS West.

[Byron]

You need someone to fill it up.

[John]

73,000.

[Toledo]

Look who's in Knowledgeable now.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, he's in on it. He's seen the films. All right, it's 820. There you go. That's your Brady Report, everybody. It's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said head fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail].

[Byron]

Ah.

[John]

Officially jealous. What happened? I don't like jealousy. I don't believe in jealousy as a. I believe it's a choice to be jealous. You can feel it, and you can stop it. It's not a real emotion. It's a reaction. It does you no good. Being jealous doesn't stop anything that's going to happen, and it doesn't make something happen. It is a wasted. It is a wasted reaction. I won't even call it an emotion. But I'm jealous right now. I'm trying to fight it. Howard Stern just signed his new contract, and I just looked at the details of it. Now, first off, the money he deserves, I'm not even getting in his pocket. He's got a thing. And I'm not comparing this show or anything else to Howard's success. He's the king of it all for a reason. Best interviewer of maybe all time. But he just signed a new deal for hundreds of millions of dollars, quite literally. And part of it is summer's off. Brady, he gets all of the summer off, and he only works three days a week.

[Brett Vesely]

Three days?

[John]

Three days a week.

[Byron]

That's amazing.

[John]

Now, this year, we just signed a new deal. I didn't know that was an option. I didn't even ask. I just. I think maybe not working all summer is a great idea. And then, you know, Thursday and Friday seem like nobody's even listening. So let's just work on Monday. Red Robin, would you want to work on Monday only? What about you, Brettle Juice? I think maybe Baba Bastard is in here somewhere. I think maybe just taking Olive Summer off is the way to go. I don't know. You know, I got a garden my free time. Brittle Juice. I try so hard for free time. And now if I could just take from May on just the water drive, you know, that's it. Just don't even. Red Robin. Imagine having all summer off and you can tan those great big black breasts. Come on, man. Where is it?

[Brett Vesely]

Better go renegotiate with Tripp today.

[John]

Maybe if I went and said, look, I'm not asking for $100 million and some stare numbers, am I Going to do that. That's crazy. But I do want to take. Like, why does anyone take spring off? Let's take spring off. That's. I want. I went off from, like, the middle of March into June. No reason this spring.

[Brett Vesely]

We thought Beth had a sweet gig.

[John]

Yeah. Unbelievable. And Stern is like. It's an audacious thing to say. I'll just take summers off. Cause kids are in school. There's no kids listening to his show. Everyone who listens to his show is working. I mean, I like to take summer off because in the summertime. In the summer time. In the summertime, I take it off because the kids are out of school, you know, and that we lose a lot of people because the college is shut down. And I'm huge with the college because I'm 71. I mean, you know, college kids love a guy in his 70s. I just need more time with Beth. I need a garden. So tip of the cap to him. I didn't even think about that. I almost said something like, can we have December off? And we already get a lot of it off. But summer, you can do that. You can just stop work. And people will say okay to that. That's crazy. I need to. I need to talk to my. I think maybe Red Robin can take summers off.

[Byron]

Yum.

[John]

Yeah, you do that, Red Robin. You take those big, delicious, beautiful black wasabos, and you take summers off. You take summers and I'll say, yum. And then come back with full milkers for fall when people care, you know, Fall Betelgeuse. And we'll. We'll handle it for the, you know, couple of months while you go lather up those giant black breaths. And then Baba Bastard and I. Well, I don't know where we frolic in the sunshine in the summertime. In the summertime. Mungo. Yeah, Mungo Jerry. Well, you know, we'll invite him. Is he still on with Mungo Jerry? He'll fill in for something. That's right. I'm interviewing him. It's a big, hip interview with the college kids right now. I'm going to do Mango Jerry all summer. He's going to. He's going to fill in for us. Mungo Jerry and the Stern show said, Matt Wolf says you've been referred to as a poor man's Howard Stern. That's why your contract is less. Yeah, but I'm working 12 months a year at most. Well, 11, really, because we got time off. I don't know. I just. I think, you know, Brady had a kidney removed. He Only missed four days. I mean, come on. He should have at least had a season off. Which season are we willing to dump here? How about winter? I'll take winter off. We'll start. We'll go December 21st until the end of March, and then. And then we'll come back. I don't even know how you have the courage. That's. I gotta look. I'm just dumb, I guess. Even do that walk into a room, I love. I love it here. I want to keep working. There's no doubt about it. The show's better than ever. I just don't want to work three or four months a year in a row. And it works. I'm nervous when we take a week off because I'm like, well, everybody's gone. We got to earn that all back. I don't know. Congratulations. Anybody else? Teachers have summer off and they don't get paid, I guess. What you bring in? Brady, are you ready for our annual recap of times we said stuff and said, that's a good band name. Because Devin Rec has, for the fourth year in a row, I believe, catalog. He listens constantly and cataloged pretty much every time. This is about six pages of every time we say, ooh, that's a good band name. Here they are for 2025. It started on January 7th, I believe. We were back for a day. I was telling a story about how I saw Gypsy changing a baby at the outback and bent over and I saw her butthole and the baby's butthole at the same time. And I said, it's Double Gypsy Butthole, which was the first one of 2025. And that's gonna be strong opener coming out of the gate with Double Gypsy Butthole. Now I can't stop doing the thing. It's kind of halfway in me. As we get ready to take all of winter off. Let's just say goodbye in a minute. Ladle Oporta John. I don't remember that. That was. John said he'd rather ladle out of a Porta John than see any more pictures of Janis Joplin's Playboy spread.

[Brett Vesely]

Now I remember it.

[John]

You show me Janet Shopland naked, and I will take a ladle to a Porta John and suck right down. Put some chocolate on it. Digital Mexican. I got locked out of the H and H ranch. I remember this because they made the new keys and I couldn't get in there and I locked myself in a room and I said I was gonna email someone asking how the Mexican community was going to make copies of keys from now on. Then we needed a digital Mexican. Take a dirt on 35th Avenue. I'm digital Mexican.

[Brett Vesely]

The City of Fire.

[John]

The City of Fire. Player. The city cuts like a knife. I know that one better. All right, side mansion, which is a house that Jean Gene Hackman's side mansion was the hack. It burned down in the la. I don't know if that is Gene smart. I'm sorry. Gene Smart. Side mansion in hacks. Burned out side match. Justified boner. And accidentally stumbling across 16 year old's IG page when we were looking up Natalia Grace. We couldn't tell you that's a justified boner. Nobody knew. Head cake. Gutter pie. Buffy has shingles. That's a great name. Biting the rosebud. Said that's a video where a guy had an entire rosebud in his mouth. Like a beef rib at Brady's house exit.

[Byron]

That was the video. I bet you that played the guys in the back of the pickup.

[John]

Oh, yeah. Well, no, that was a couple years ago. This might have been another one. There's a lot of chewing on rosebuds this year. Walking, tranny rape, ejaculating happens. That was for Justin Tucker. Then we move on to February. Violent bananas, loogies in an Indian's mouth. That one I don't think fits on the marquee like we thought. Moisten the Dolphin. Great band name. The dolphin jumped into someone's boat and Brady said they had to keep it moist until he got it to shore. John said you got to moisten that dolphin. Tater Riot. Now, Brady was selling us on his promotion that Orido was running. Of course he was. That gives people a free bag of tots during the BYU basketball game. Brady, of course, did not have all the information and still is not clear how we'd be able to obtain the tots. I'm going to take a break from the. From the band names for a second because Trip Birthday boy just walked in and I'm thinking maybe we need the talk. Tripp Reeb's here. Happy birthday. First off, Red Robin. Welcome, Tripp Reeb for a happy birthday. Happy birthday, Tripp. And what is it about the seasons that you need me for? All four.

[Byron]

So.

[John]

I have a deal for you. And I think. I think it's a valid request to take a season off. Yes. Okay. When you are 71, you'll still be here, right? You can take all the seasons of whatever season you want off. Can I get that in writing? Yeah. All right. Just because there's a Chance. Now that I screw stuff up.

[Byron]

That's a deal.

[John]

All right. If you ever. Do you ever. Why am I. You're. You lost?

[Brett Vesely]

I was in my car.

[John]

Yeah. Pulling in for that section of the show, and then Mungo Jerry came up and I turned it on. Yeah. I hate Mungo Jerry. Were you without me until Mungo Jerry? Nobody likes Mungo Jerry. If I got Mungo Jerry to fill in for winters, can we have winters off? You come in and deal with Mango Jerry, right? He has to be dead. He's got to get up. Yeah. Mungo Jerry's not alive. Oh. Oh, do I hate. Let's go to the video. Yeah. Don't. No, turn your eyes away. Is Mungo Jerry still alive? What are the. What do you think? You say? No, Brady, there's no way he's still alive.

[Byron]

I'm saying he's alive.

[John]

You think Mungo Jerry's here? Still alive? Still alive. Well, we can if we can get him. I get Winters on you fast. Yeah. Yes, That's a deal. All right. Well, reconsider. Maybe 54 is a good age to take an entire season off. That's pretty good stuff. Let's get back to our. Tater was last. Futuristic Dicks. Warm Jelly. Dead Gene and the dogs. I think we all know what that one was. Gene Hackman's house. So we were talking about Gene Hackman and his dogs, and somebody went, good band name instead. Gene and his dogs. Caleb Shovel.

[Byron]

Oh, is that for Shriner?

[Brett Vesely]

That's gotta be.

[John]

Yeah, it says talking about the dude that killed the Chihuahua with a shovel. And a listener suggested the guy might have been Caleb from Shriners and a Caleb Shovel. Gacy's Crawl Space. That's a classic. Stepdaddy to a Negro. Oh, it's Ms. Pat. That's not us. Ms. Pat was on the show talking about Shannon Sharp's situation, and she said that. So then we laughed hysterically. Said, good fan name. Ass cheeks of a fat person. Holy water dunk tank.

[Byron]

Not bad.

[John]

Talking about a movement to repeal the 19th amendment. And a cat Grandma's. I need more details of what we were talking about there, because that sounds horrible. Dude. Soup in the meat tube. Oh, that's a classic. That was. Brett was stuck in a room with a bunch of different bands doing interviews at you fest. That's right, dude. Soup in a meat tube. Caramel swordfish. Talking about all the wet old ladies blowing bubbles at the Engelbert Humperdinck concert in town. We also, in that same conversation, came up with Damp Granny. Damp Granny. I'm going to circle. That's my favorite. I want a concert shirt of that Dabbling in dick water period. Talking about an Airbnb owner that rented a house to someone and didn't provide water until mixed up his words when asking a question. And water period just occurred. We're in May now. Gay pox. Too handicapped to hit. We're only in May. I like that one. Too handicapped to hit is telling a story. When I would go full handicap with Brady. When we would go he said a pizza joint. But it was Costco to get pizza. Frolicking grandparents. Corpse cloud. Boy meat in your belly.

[Byron]

Corpse cloud.

[John]

Corpse cloud's good. There's a new documentary about a corrupt mortician that was burning bodies. That was back in June. July. We've got boy meat in your belly. Grandma. Clam or clam drippings. Talking about the time before women had hygiene products.

[Byron]

I can see that. At a music festival.

[John]

Vaginal do over. When women were getting their hymen surgically redone. Al Qaeda. Erection. Sex bait. Grandkids. Misbehaving. Monks adjacent. Racism. Which is what we think. Brett laughs at all the time. Things that sound racist but aren't. And he finds it hysterical. Falsified corporate wokeness. It's an indie band. Unexpected dildos. Rogue dildos. Chucking dildos. John. The flying dildos. That was when they were throwing dildos out onto the WNBA floor. Filth Pie. Grandpa Discharge. New grandma. Ozempic Vulva. Hitler's kidney. Someone asked if Brady would take Hitler's kidney. That was three days before the surgery. Spunk. Sponge sack counts. Non consensual urination. Mom's sop socks. Marcy's Little Debbies.

[Byron]

All right.

[John]

I don't like this. John talking about being on vacation and Marcy and Dan having hotel bathroom section coming out half chubbed. I remember that now. Marcy's Little Debbie's came out. Yeah. Hollow the nostrils. Swallowing device. Fast. Back in the long boobs. Missed the veg. Friday was national in October. National Veggies Sprinkler day for veg misters at the grocery store. And ironically it was also Cerebral Palsy Day. And you missed that. Remember Thriller told us about that. And Bray didn't call the day out and he just went with veg Mr. At the grocery store. Missed the veg. Zombie Bullhorn. Gore Orphanage. Ooh, that's a good Marcus band. Coke and nuns. Vag Bay Soul Jerk. Sweet and feces. Gray yolk. And we get into November. We're getting closer. Violent oral sex or V. O. S Presidential Daisy Chain, Homeless Anus, Chunk of Bill, Anal Asphyxiation, Teen Kidneys, Vaginal Emergency. And finally, just a week or so ago, Baby Death blow. These are 2025's band names of the year. And it's hard to top the very first one. I mean, right out of the gates, we. We hammered you over the head with a gem like Double Gypsy Butthole. So if you're starting a band, there they are, the. The band names of 2025. And we thank you, that is Devin Reek for doing that for us. Every year I have another guy who is. He's putting together all the times that he got in the car and the first words he heard and he's like, I'm trying. It's. I wrote him down as best I could, but it's not good. Like, yeah, I can't imagine there's a lot of explaining here, but if you're a band and you're like, what do we call ourselves? I liked Moisten the Dolphin. I liked definitely Double Gypsy Butthole and Gutter Pie's good. Buffy Has Shingles is good. We got a lot of good ones. Digital Mexican Gore, Orphans.

[Byron]

Is that what it was? What was it?

[John]

Yeah, what was the orphans. 1. One caramel swordfish is solid too, and it just jumps off a page. Dead Jean and the Dogs is solid. Yeah. Gore Orphanage.

[Brett Vesely]

Dude, Soup in a meat tube was pretty good.

[John]

Dude soup and a meat tube is great. Mom Sop Socks, Marcy's Little Debbies just to make me uncomfortable forever. Yeah. Where the. Where did the. Yeah, I can't find it. Anyway, thank you very much to all of us, and I want to put it on a marquee. We got Amy down the hall said she's going to try to make a poster like it's a festival show. So I'm going to give her that list.

[Byron]

2025.

[John]

Put that giant up 2025 band names, and then just have, you know, a clown holding, like, banners, and they're all band names that we picked. So 2025. Wrapping her up with that. It's a beautiful thing. Tomorrow, I believe we'll name the Frank Caliendo s Heel of the Year award. I think that's great. The Nathan Sutherland man of the Year. Can't believe it's all over. Crazy. It's 8:54. We got the hot releases coming up next. 98 merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio. Holmberg's morning sickness. Before we get on with the hot releases, Donovan has fired over his game he played with us all year long. So end of the year stuff is fun. Donovan said, every time I got in the car and you guys were in the middle of something, I wrote down the first phrase I heard. So sometimes he'd tune in. There was a. You know, a song or commercial or whatever. But whenever it was us talking, he wrote down the first thing he heard. Every morning. It's usually early in the morning at the beginning of the year. We talked about my. Out of context, just tuned in quotes. Here's the list I made this year. Most are you, except for when I quote accordingly. So if you're. If there's no name next to it, it was John. Everybody else, I gave credit. All right, so it started back in January with HMS Bottom. With confidence was the first thing you heard. And Brett had said that and said one time he tuned in, said I'd eat the Crunch Berries out of that ass. Guess who said that? That's Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I figured that was you.

[Byron]

That was the caliper, the video.

[John]

Oh, we know what it was. We know what it was. Yeah, we can. We can do the math of it. This one said they just sat there and went up and down. Brett, you can roll that penis. Brady. I want to see a movie called Dr. Jerk off and Mr. Hard. That was mine. The next few are just.

[Brett Vesely]

I remember that one.

[John]

Yeah. When a camel bites a fat lady, you just can't look away. You'd fart on that cake. Brady. This is the first thing he heard as he tuned in. This is a great class sassy show. For me, it's the abuse. That's funny. She gave herself blue balls. He's very crippled and banging my mom. Janice Joplin panties. Hiroshima was safer. I wish I'd have tuned that out. That's not for substance. That's for sexy time. You'd eat prison ass before eating a vegetable. That was for Brady. By breath, I would drink snake semen. KDKB likes to suck on sports sticks. Brady, if a Mexican charges at you, you can poke him with a shovel. We have to have boundaries with my wiener. That's the only way I'll eat community food is if you raped me. I jerked off the boxing, Elena. Well, that's just true. I bonus holes all over my house. Don't even know what that is. That's how I start my morning. Singapore Dick slug.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't remember that one.

[John]

I don't either. All right, we get pictures of my ass online. As requested. I had. Did something bite me in the ass this year? What Did I have a picture? Was it this year that I got a bite? Oh, that weird spider bite that. I wasn't sure. She's really cute. If you discount the mutilated genitals, that.

[Toledo]

Might be the one that was in the. The top 10. That lady with the suction.

[John]

Oh, that's right.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, cuz she wasn't bad.

[John]

That's right. Nothing cooler than mother and daughter in their sexy underpants. Brady. I know. Ladies. Visible dicks in the air isn't funny. Brett, you can trust people with terminal. You can't trust people with terminal cancer. Well, I. That's actually like a. That's a fortune cookie. I'd open that and be like, you know, there's some truth to that. What do they have to wear?

[Toledo]

Was not to jump in. But Dexter says, hey, did Donovan catch.

[John]

How about surprise abortion? Well, that's. That's your thing. That's your first thing in. He didn't you.

[Toledo]

I'm sure you guys were.

[John]

Not everyone shared the very first. This isn't how we started the show. I can't imagine my grandmother's vagina being something I'd fight for. That had to be yours. Well, why? Because you would fight for yours.

[Byron]

I'm fighting for my nana.

[John]

I would be more than happy to punch your 14 year old son in the face. That's me and Brett, probably.

[Brett Vesely]

We were high fiving.

[John]

I'm sure you'd be more surprised by the size of Beth's dick that you wouldn't tell anyone if you gave her a tug. I don't know what that is. If it's not a newborn, don't drain your eggs on it.

[Brett Vesely]

Who was that?

[John]

That was me. Still don't know what we were saying. I don't know if this is gay, but my erection says it could be. Only radio station in Phoenix that's currently playing gay porn on the air. That's from me. Take that. Kdkb. That's from Brett. I think it's classier to not talk about Diddy's penis. It'd be a blessing if my butt fell out. Brady. Giving teenagers alcohol is a surefire way to have fun. I stand by that. Have you ever seen an infant's penis? What a strong anus. Good luck raping me. Be like sticking it in a wood chipper. Let's get these wieners flying around the room. It's like a woman. If it's got a flaw. Throw it away, Brett. I just woke up. What am I gonna do today? Oh yeah. Bang. Metallica. I don't know what that is. That hot chick has a wiener and she knows what to do with it. I'm gonna F your bacon butt.

[Byron]

Come on.

[John]

It should be on your Christmas cards, Brady. If you have three in your hand, you feel like a man. Do you want the game room or not? Now make fun of this crippled man. Oh, that was during the. We were making fun of poor als, Matt. I paid a guy to finger me once. I said it, but I didn't mean it. Stabbed him in the anus on tv. It's not God, it's China. Her vagina barnacle is really getting it done. Vaginas are like a box of Cracker Jacks. You never know what surprise you're going to find in inside. I'm gonna blow your boyfriend. Give me 14 inches of dick. Well done, Brady. Oh, my God. I left him alone in the chicken room. These are non sequiturs, people. And if you're just tuning in, it's get. It's double. It's like Inception. Things that this guy heard when he first turned the radio on all year long. She's a West side maid who's unemployed. She must have just given birth a few hours ago. She kind of looks like Cindy Crawford, but with gigantic nipples. I did want to wreck just not her sheets with blood and pus. Congratulations.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow, nice kill there, Brady.

[John]

You're gonna get hit by a flying lady. Oh, no. This is gonna end in rape. Not again. You're making it all sexual. I'm making it a science experiment. Cancer is like my dick. Hand jobs change friendships. That's the one I'm most proud of. That was just a couple weeks ago. Hand jobs change friendships. If your dad was in the room, you'd keep your thumb out of your ass. And that's my stance on religion. If you truly believe God was watching, you'd never put your thumb in your. And yet so many of us do. And then say after a touchdown, we point to this guy like he's always watching. He's not always watching. That's beautiful. Thank you very much. Donovan. What a great recap of 2025 that was. The band names Non Sequitur Theater. I love every second of it. The Hot Releases. We'll get you some Christmas music for the holidays, for the family. Maybe some Hanukkah AI. We'll get that together. Hot Releases. Coming up next, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] it's mammoth right there the spell it is. I like that. Wolfie's got a good one there. I just wish it had a better hook. I'm still in Playdoh. It's got a great chorus or a bridge, but the chorus kind of underwhelmed. Cool song.

[Brett Vesely]

Means call Uncle Alex for some help or something.

[John]

Yeah, Alex will help him. I haven't listened to the album, but I hear it's pretty darn good. I do like that song quite a bit though. It's the Spell by mammoth Wolfgang Von Halen. You think something creepy said so on the air. They asked him about groupies and I that this year. That last year I might have been last year. Either way, that's creepy. Talking about girls in the crowd that you want to have sex with. Mike, call Uncle Alex. Why do you call Uncle Alex? And get some stories. Yes, but that's considered toxic. Okay, go write your little. Okay, that's enough. That's enough, son.

[Byron]

We're done here.

[John]

Okay, that's. Bye bye, Wolfie. It is time for the hot releases and they are brought to you by our [e-mail] save thousands, save time. Buy online@newac unit.com and remember, your AC unit unit is also your heater. Everybody thinks AC means cooling, air conditioning, conditioning it to a temperature of your liking. And if yours is conking out through winter, it ain't going to get you to summer. So get proactive. Throw Holmberg. That's my name in the promo code. And take another thousand dollars off new ac unit.com. save thousand, save time. Buy online. New ac unit.com. would like Toledo to go first because I know Brett's got. Got some holiday flare and Toledo's got all the games and movies and things like that. What you got?

[Toledo]

Come on now.

[John]

All right, Come on.

[Toledo]

Loading, Loading, loading.

[John]

You can read it. We'll see it eventually. Or you can't see it either.

[Byron]

Right?

[Toledo]

The only game out right now, it's actually coming out in January because I think they shut it down for December as far as new releases go. But on PC, Xbox and. And PS5, what we're starting to see now is no more games for PS4 or regular Xbox. They're moving on to the higher platforms and Nintendo Switch 2 as well. But the game is called High Guard High God. So it's kind of a Fortnite ish type game. Okay, you got me.

[John]

Yeah, you're up. There we go. Apex Legends, Titanfall.

[Toledo]

Yeah, so it's a kind of a battle royale type type type game.

[John]

It looks Medieval. But you got cool weapons. Yes. Bring the heat. I need that job.

[Toledo]

What? Just to say bring.

[John]

Just to say stupid video games. Bring the heat. Your light belongs to me. Oh, you know it's mine.

[Toledo]

Video games and cartoons lost a legend last week.

[Brett Vesely]

Who?

[Toledo]

Jeff Garcia. Jimmy.

[John]

Did he die? Yeah. I thought he was just sick.

[Toledo]

No, he died.

[John]

He, I, I, I don't want to pull a trump here. And I'm sad that he's dead, but he was horrible to us.

[Toledo]

Yeah, he was, he was, he was.

[John]

He was very angry at us for no reason. He came in.

[Brett Vesely]

What you guys do.

[John]

We just didn't like each other. Like, it's just one of those things right off the bat. We didn't like. I don't wish him dead or anything, but we just did not vibe well with Jeff Garcia at all. And then you asked him to do a voice thing for his son from.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John]

And I'm like, that's the voice. Cuz it's just like, oh, all right.

[Toledo]

Didn't he seem to have a lot of creativity in it? Aria type?

[John]

No, we didn't. We didn't. We like, we just rubbed each other. No, I asked him one question and I said, because it was back when Jeff Garcia was the quarterback. And I said, geez, that's got to be annoying, right? It's the most original thing you could say. And I'm like, I asked you a question, Dick. Right? And I looked at him like, yeah, I'm not trying to be funny or anything. I just said, is that annoying or not? You haven't heard that? All right, so it's annoying and you're bitter about it. I guess.

[Toledo]

I hope you get cancer.

[John]

Yeah, I didn't say that. You know what? I wrote his family a letter and I said, I didn't care. I don't care. I said, I saw the tmz. I never met him, but I didn't like him.

[Byron]

Yeah, he got sassy.

[John]

He was, he was just. And he wasn't funny. He was just. This is 15, 16 years ago. Well, we didn't get along and he never came back.

[Toledo]

On Netflix is in. This actually debuted last week. Is a new series called the Abandons.

[John]

Also, he's not a legend. Right?

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Byron]

Is this the one with the Game of Thrones? Yep.

[John]

Lena, your sound gun.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Lena Heady from Game. Game of Thrones is in it. Angels, Rich Scully.

[John]

Oh, That's Gully from X5. She's aged beautifully.

[Toledo]

The Van Acid. Their tyranny is getting worse.

[John]

You continue to turn down my Generous offers. This is a My family Girl Yellowstone.

[Toledo]

Hard to believe 1800s. I mean, come on.

[John]

Yeah. What are these women?

[Brett Vesely]

Broads.

[John]

Can't even vote. What are you making decisions for? Get back in there. Wooden kitchen. I knew I was getting a sermon. I would have worn my Sunday back to the brothel.

[Byron]

Bro, those were my muffins.

[John]

That's enough. Where are the men?

[Toledo]

All right, so you get the gist there.

[John]

I don't like that one. And I don't like Bridgerton because they. It's so historically inaccurate. For the sake of diversity, they have, like, you know, it's got to be frustrating to be a black person and try to watch Bridgerton and go, right. You know, like, really, nobody's gonna mention it.

[Toledo]

The elephant in the room, really.

[John]

There's, like. We're just dancing together and there's, like, interracial stuff going. Nobody's gonna say anything. It's a fantasy piece. It sure is. Yeah, it is. Just like that is about ladies in charge of the Wild West.

[Toledo]

Season two of Percy Jackson and the Olympians is on Disney plus.

[John]

Okay, it's me. That's who you're named after.

[Byron]

Because he was a hero.

[John]

Because he was gay, too. Brave and kind, and against all odds, he managed to find his way to a happy ending. I'm used to. We all thought it feeling weird. That's your gut jerked out like a puzzle with half their own pieces. Okay, I don't want to watch another second.

[Toledo]

Yeah, child.

[Byron]

You watch it. Larry.

[John]

You watch the Percy Jackson stuff. You like the story of Percy Jackson? Yeah. What is the story of Triton? Yeah. I don't know. It's. That story has always stuck with me. It's like Captain Caveman and Son. Yeah. Whenever they added and Son Junior Paramount.

[Toledo]

Plus has little disasters. When Jess, played by Diane Krueger, rushes her baby to the er, she's treated by one of her closest friends, Liz. Alarmed by Jess's behavior, Liz calls social services, triggering an explosive chain of events.

[John]

Oh, she finds out her friends beating the kids.

[Toledo]

This could happen in Gilbert.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

Right now.

[John]

I'm a bad. She can't take it, so she shakes babies. And then somebody catches her. Oh, sure enough, that's kind of what happens. How did this happen? Speak to me. Shook it. I shook it. It was driving me nuts.

[Brett Vesely]

Shows for men coming out.

[John]

How about this?

[Toledo]

Season two of Fallout is on that show.

[John]

Brett, how they do it. They wouldn't have to change a word of that script if they just change it to Baby Shaken.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, exactly.

[John]

All right, I'm watching.

[Brett Vesely]

Ten minute show.

[John]

Yeah. All right. Fallout's back on.

[Toledo]

They didn't. Doesn't say that. But the. Just the trailer is gonna be like. No, no, no.

[Byron]

It.

[Toledo]

The. The new season debuts today.

[John]

What?

[Toledo]

But I don't know how many episodes they're gonna let out.

[John]

So what? One is enough?

[Toledo]

Yeah. So the first episodes tonight. A season two.

[John]

I love Fallout. This show was so good. Something you care about or someone you hate. Oh, what a great question. What say you, Ms. McLean? I was that guy for Night of the Singing Dead two years ago. It was awesome.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And he did.

[John]

Fallout is so good.

[Brett Vesely]

You have to play the game to understand.

[Toledo]

No, no, not at all.

[John]

Not even a little bit. It. Walton Goggins is so great. You want to know why the world ended? It started here with one man.

[Brett Vesely]

This is cool.

[Byron]

Cuz.

[Toledo]

It goes to. Goes to Vegas. And all the stuff from Fallout New Vegas is in this. All the casinos and everything. It's awesome.

[John]

Yeah. Fallout was. I enjoyed that.

[Toledo]

Death Claw shows up in this one.

[John]

Was that two years ago that came out?

[Toledo]

Yeah, it's been a while.

[John]

It's just so good. Oh, I didn't even know that was ready to come out. This is my. This is my Christmas break. The way Squid Games was last year.

[Toledo]

Yeah. It doesn't. I. I doesn't say anything of. Of all the episodes are out.

[John]

It's coming out that way. There's no way that Netflix or. Who. Yeah, it's Netflix, right? They're not gonna.

[Byron]

It's Prime.

[John]

Whatever. Whoever's doing it is not gonna go week to week when they've got prime.

[Toledo]

Does week to week.

[John]

They're not. Yeah, but they're not Reacher. Nope. They won't do it for Christmas. I guarantee it. Because. No, because they want us to watch all in a bunch. And they're gonna kill us on Christmas ads.

[Toledo]

Did you on Netflix. Wake up, Dead man. And Knives Out Mystery. This is like the third or fourth Knives Out Mystery.

[John]

I've never seen anything. You're the only one at that church who hated his guts. The spirit really moved him today, huh? So tell me what the hell happened. Josh Brolin's dead. Everyone thinks I did it. I didn't do it. You watched this? Larry said it was okay. Josh Brolin is pretty great as my senior Winks. He's got a real problem with masturbating.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh. All right.

[John]

I'm sold.

[Brett Vesely]

I can relate.

[John]

I guess. I'm Monsignor Wanks Jr. And then the.

[Toledo]

Big release in theaters this weekend is Avatar Fire and Ash all right. It's the best avatar to date.

[John]

Well, that's a low bar.

[Toledo]

Yeah, it is a low bar.

[John]

It looks worse than the first one.

[Byron]

Fire and ass.

[Toledo]

Well, the last one definitely didn't.

[John]

It looks like a cartoon. You have AI Air disposal. James Cameron. And this is the best we get.

[Toledo]

Well, so this one won't look any better because they were both filmed at the same time.

[John]

I still want to have sex with Natiri.

[Toledo]

With your tail.

[John]

Or whatever it is. About that joke giant blue lady I attracted. She's the only one too. Like the other blues. Not a fan. Yeah, I'm against them because I'm not against them because they're blue. I just like her.

[Brett Vesely]

It should be colorblind.

[John]

I see blue. I see blue. The other ones I'm not attracted to at all, But Natiri has me.

[Toledo]

Okay, I'll go with you. That one wasn't attractive.

[John]

She's gorgeous. You cannot live like this. Baby in hate.

[Toledo]

Watch me.

[John]

So I. When she carried Jake around and you realized how big she was, it was even better. I like them. I like them big and blue.

[Toledo]

That's all I got.

[John]

Paint yourself blue. And I'm. I'm a sucker. I'm a sucker for blue. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

We asked for a Hanukkah song. So this isn't like new. This is old.

[John]

But. But.

[Brett Vesely]

And it's not AI but it's dudes doing bohemian Hanukkah.

[John]

Oh, cool. All right. This isn't AI is. I spawn the giml now. I've got a lot of girls. I like the candles with people who love me. That's fantastic. That's great. I'm gonna go by the. Yeah, I'm gonna go by the Granada park this weekend and play this while they're playing softball.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, so we got that. Let's do this one for you.

[John]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's levitating as an 80s disco funk version.

[John]

Oh, man. There's Dua lipa as an 80s gal. She's even better. Look at that. It's just a picture. That's. This is levitating as.

[Ronnie]

You wanna run it with me. I know a fantasy and I can take you for a ride. I had a little vision that we tried.

[John]

I have a boner. I hope she does that. Recreates that picture. 80s Dua Lipa. Great. So is 90s Dua Lipa in 2000. Since. In 2000 and tens now.

[Toledo]

I don't have a limit.

[Brett Vesely]

How about sex type thing as an AI Soul cover with Stone Temple Pilot.

[John]

Yeah. This is gonna be awesome. I can feel it. Great soulful song. I am in a convertible Cadillac right now. Driving down the street streets. Bedford Stuyvesant, a Richard Roundtree production. Here we go. Next to you. I said I'm going to get close to you.

[Toledo]

That's like an opening of a 70s.

[John]

Like, Huggy Bird should be walking in right now. I want that with a fur on. This is amazing to know about atrocity at. I want this ridiculous. That's what I want to do next year for my birthday show. I want to talk Marty and the boys into soul. The soul AI Rock songs that we've put. I'm going to see because he's got a whole horn section. Birthday show next year. We're gonna do that. That's. I've already planned it. I'm gonna tell them later today.

[Brett Vesely]

We could do this one if you want.

[Byron]

Solberg.

[John]

I don't know if that's a great one.

[Brett Vesely]

I will skip that one then. How about this one?

[John]

Deep inside my A hole. How about this one? All right, let's see if this is good. Merry Christmas, everybody, to you and your families. It's Kiss 1230, your holiday station.

[Ronnie]

Grandma got a dildo for Christmas.

[John]

Whoops.

[Ronnie]

She just looked at it with a big frown. Grandma got a dildo for Christmas. And Grandpa had the biggest smile in town.

[John]

Beautiful.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Christmas.

[Byron]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

God.

[John]

I'm doing Miss Santa Claus Christmas Classic from AI. As a kid, I was always sad on Christmas day. Cause Santa always left my house behind. Finally this year, I'm gonna make him pay. It's gonna be the best Christmas of all time. Cause while Santa's going down chimneys, I'll be going down myself. And while he's eating all those cookies, I'll be eating something else. I'm doing Mrs. Claus this year. Heading to the North Pole and sneaking in the river. I'm getting my revenge. So I want to be real clear. I'm doing Mrs. Claus this year. That's lovely.

[Brett Vesely]

And that's from Andy Felterbush.

[John]

Andy Felter Bush was one of my favorite Christmas guys.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't get the credit he deserved. Okay, we could do this one.

[John]

Let's play Sam's Got a Fat. All right. This is a video AI. A little AI. Santa's elf dancing around for us.

[Ronnie]

Come down my chimney about a quarter to S. Oh. Boots still dripping snow in that big old grin Red suit Unzip just enough to tease. I said, santa, honey, get down on your knees.

[John]

Oh.

[Ronnie]

He laughed. Ho, ho, ho. Voice like Sherry and Smoke drop that velvet sack Damn near make me choke. I've been naughty all year. Wrote a plane on the wall. Tonight I'm collecting my present and I'm taking it all. Boots. D's got a fat sack and I'm empty.

[John]

All right. Santa's got a fat sack and I'm empty. Santa has a fat sack and I'm empty.

[Brett Vesely]

You want the 12 inches of Christmas?

[Byron]

Her name was Fonda Cox.

[John]

Oh, yeah. She's good, too. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

The 12 inches from the feel me sisters.

[John]

Why can't anybody just write an AI Christmas song without it being about PPs?

[Brett Vesely]

Dale would love this one.

[John]

Yeah, so it's kind of. It's a little R word.

[Ronnie]

Snow is falling, Fires crackling. But the only thing I'm tracking Is the monster in your red velvet pants. That's straight up Attack. I measured with a candy cane. Then I threw that stick away. Cause, baby you're packing the kind of gift that ruins me for the day. I don't need no partridge, no pear tree. Just drop them drawers and set that beast free. Give me the 12 inches of Christmas. 12th inches of Christmas.

[John]

Just in case you missed the first part.

[Ronnie]

12 rock hard inches of Christmas.

[John]

12 rock hard inches. Oh, my God. It says fala la la. F word. I'm a mess. But I turned it down. Right on. All right. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

So then that'll bring us to N.

[John]

Word or F word.

[Brett Vesely]

The game that's sweeping the nation. And today we'll go with Tech 9 featuring Bob and two chains.

[John]

I'm still holding the hood.

[Brett Vesely]

Go crazy.

[John]

Final one of the year. Tech 9. Saying the N word. I'll say it's angry Brady.

[Byron]

I'll go F word.

[John]

Toledo.

[Toledo]

It's not gonna be friendly. But I have to go there. I guess.

[John]

Or you have other options.

[Toledo]

No, I'll go with friendly End local wheel.

[John]

All right. Mine's angry.

[Toledo]

N word.

[John]

Toledo's friendly. Brady has the F word. Go crazy.

[Byron]

So much liquor. I never spare that kitchen.

[Toledo]

Keep it.

[Byron]

So I usually have a pair. That's kissing. And I'm lifted on purple hair. That's bitching.

[John]

Now that's what I call a Air technician. Brady with the big win. The final win of 2025. And Brady with a heavy F bomb. I didn't want to end the year on an N word. Anyway. That's my Christmas card. That's what I say for that's my Christmas. I'm thinking of you. Holiday spirit.

[Brett Vesely]

You're welcome.

[John]

That's right. Yeah. Old George Bailey doesn't like that. In the car on an N word. Are you and your mom gonna watch It's a Wonderful Life?

[Brett Vesely]

Probably.

[John]

Can I come over?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

And ruin it? Not a Christmas movie. Ah, it's 950. There you go, everybody. Those were your hot releases. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 98. Still streaming. Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] away we go for an entertainment drill. Here to close out Tuesday morning. And Brady's here to entertain you all as only he does. I'm still upset about this whole summer's off thing. That's not fair. Which season would you want off? Brady probably fall for football.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

I think I'd take from Stern's taking off all of summer. I mean summer I don't mind.

[Byron]

Most people take summer off.

[John]

That's when they like if we took summer off because you have kids. But if you don't have kids, summer's no big deal. But football. If I could travel to games and like bounce around the summertime here, it's. You want to be inside anyway. But travel.

[Brett Vesely]

You want to be. Well, wouldn't you want to work if your kids are off? Screw that.

[John]

Oh, my God. If the kids are off. I'm right. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Speak from experience.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Kids are home all day. You're going to be home with that them? Yeah. Brady's the only one that likes that idea. Kirby doesn't even like that idea. Brady just wants to hang out with her for three months.

[Byron]

I rarely see her.

[John]

Huh. I rarely. Really?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

I think that's untrue.

[Byron]

Wow.

[Toledo]

That was heartfelt.

[John]

Wasn't you okay? Is everything all right? What happens?

[Brett Vesely]

He doesn't go to dispensaries too often.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John]

I know where to find her. It's called Sunday's best. Why don't you see Kirby anymore?

[Byron]

Busy.

[John]

Oh.

[Toledo]

Oh, we've reached that. Sorry, Harry Nielsen.

[John]

You're gonna talk to her. It's just not working out. Yeah, I think it's time we saw other children.

[Toledo]

Is Caitlyn available?

[John]

Yeah. Is Caitlin still around? No. She died in San Diego this year in a mysterious car accident that really no damage to the car, but she came back injured. Tons of injuries. It is time for Brady to give you you all the entertaining news he knows. We call this the entertainment drill. It's brought to by reactdefense.com. that's the home of tactical black self defense training. And get in on that thing like I've been doing for the last if you can believe it. Seven going on eight years. Although I've been lacking the last month because of my stupid schedule. I got to get back in there, start working. I love it, and I miss it. And you get in there and you do all the cardio and all the work. You have fun with a lot of fun people who are there to help you. We're actually all training each other in the classes to be the same, because the more of us out there means, the less chances the wolves have of attacking the flock. That's a weird way to put it, but it's true. A bunch of sheep walking around, they're staring at their phones all the time. Bad guys look at that, they see it and they attack. You don't want to always walk around feeling threatened, but when you're kind of trained a little bit, you feel a whole lot less threatened because you got something in your pocket that makes you feel a little bit stronger, a little bit more confident. And bad guys hate confidence. Boy, do they ever get better at being you. For 89. For a month of training. That is amazing. And it's the best in the world, that's for sure. Celebrating 25 beautiful years. It's reactdefense.com, the home of tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.

[Byron]

Here's some of the biggest pop culture moments of 2025.

[John]

Okay.

[Byron]

The Labubu craze.

[John]

Yeah. I don't think I've ever even seen one in person.

[Brett Vesely]

You know what it is?

[John]

It's a toy.

[Toledo]

I haven't seen one at a store. I've just seen them all over the Internet.

[John]

Seen them on. Yeah. On screens. That's it.

[Byron]

I think we have two of them.

[John]

You do? Of course you do. For what?

[Byron]

For Ronnie, when you heard about it.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Ronnie wanted Labubus.

[Byron]

Yeah. Because she had a couple of friends that had. Had one.

[John]

Oh, it's Gilbert Pod people thing.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

She doesn't. What does she want with Labubus?

[Byron]

You know who brought one back to too? Jimmy Bon Jovi.

[John]

All right, that's enough of that. What? But who? Why would she. Well, isn't it a kill a kid.

[Byron]

Stuffy just to have. It's kind of like a papo or those funko Pops. Beyonce winning the album of the year. The Grammys, the brotherly love, incest scenes of white. The White Lotus, season four.

[John]

Yeah, that stands out.

[Byron]

Katy Perry going in into orbit to promote herself, then calling herself an astronaut.

[John]

Come up on the big one, broads.

[Byron]

Pope Leo the 14th from Chicago. That's right.

[John]

How you doing? I'm the Pope. God bless. Go get me a wet beef. I want to dip a wet beef. That sounds so good. At Portills. Hey, what are you doing? This thing's dry as a bone. What the. God bless. I'm the Pope over here. When I say what? Cat. God damn it with this. Go socks. Maybe you did bring that up there. That Sox ain't making any moves in free agency. I asked God to help out. Evidently got Hox, too. God bless.

[Toledo]

They're winning the championship.

[John]

We're working on that. They've been asking a big guy upstairs, could you do something about the pitching staff? And I ain't heard nothing back him. He's testing my fate.

[Brett Vesely]

He's working on the Bears first.

[John]

He's got the Bears. Look what has happened since. Look, since the Pope's from Chicago, you got the Bears. They're in first place. Or were. And you know they'll get that back. Don't worry about that. Well, they are now again, because the. Thanks to the Broncos, because they're a mile high. They're the closest ones to God. And they said, hey, do me a favor and get rid of these queer ass Packers. These queer ass packers, you know them up in Green Bay. All they like. They like two things. They like cheese in their mouths and in their butts. And buying their nuts. That's what the Cheesebackers do.

[Toledo]

Talk like that.

[John]

Sure can. God bless. I can do whatever I want. I. Hey, I'm forgiven. How you doing? Anyway, I get them bears in there and then next year the socks. Not them queer ass Cubs, though. I tell you that. I'm telling you, I don't. God don't like no butt packing gay. They go up to that Wrigley Field there. That's the world's largest gay bar. You know that, Brett? Oh, yeah. Don't like that. There's people going to hell for a reason. And I'm just pointing out that you could make a choice here. Go down the south side and end up with the socks. But don't go at night. Geez Louise, God doesn't protect that place. Even God, that neighborhood's so bad. God don't go there at night.

[Toledo]

God bless.

[Byron]

Don't work.

[John]

God bless. Don't work down there at night time. You get over there by Frank Thomas and Martin Luther King boulevards and you're in your own world, okay?

[Brett Vesely]

Why hasn't the Pope been on the Guadalupe butter?

[John]

Hey, look, I'm busy, Brett. What are you gonna do? I've been over there at Portillo's. I got myself A wet beef. And I gotta, you know, pray for the sack. Yeah, it's just for you, my friend. Just for you. Chicago's going through a lot, though, you know. Got a lot out there. I went over to Olympia. I got myself a cheeseburger and a Pepsi. And I thought, you know, sorry about that, Brady. You talk about the book. That was a big deal. And then the next thing you're gonna bring up is gonna make everybody sad.

[Byron]

The astronomer CEO getting caught having an alleged affair with the Coldplay.

[John]

It's not what I thought you were going, but that was pretty rough. They're going to hell.

[Byron]

Jimmy Kennel.

[John]

Yeah, they're adulterers. They're going to hell. That's hell time. See, in hell. No, I won't. I guess not. I'll be upstairs.

[Byron]

Jimmy Kimmel getting pulled.

[John]

And you skip the middle. You skip the Y.

[Byron]

Why? Because of Charlie Kirk.

[John]

Charlie Kirk?

[Byron]

They don't put it on the list.

[John]

Yeah, Charlie Kirk was the biggest thing that happened this year as far as. Holy crap.

[Byron]

The old fashioned heist at the. The Louvre.

[John]

That was pretty good.

[Brett Vesely]

They were. Find all those clowns.

[Toledo]

Two of them, I think.

[John]

I don't think they ever got a couple extras.

[Toledo]

Two of them. And they were supposedly spilling on the rest, but I don't think they got the rest.

[John]

Did they get the jewels back?

[Byron]

No, I thought they got some of them.

[John]

I know they got some. I know they didn't get all of them. Yeah, that kind of went away. The NBA scandal went away. The. Oh, you know why?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John]

Wow. The gamblers and the Italians. Yes.

[Byron]

Like, had a couple of celebrity deaths. Anthony Gary.

[John]

Yeah, I know. Luca, Laura.

[Byron]

Yep. From General Hospital. Died. 78 years old. And the second one was Carlton. Carl Carlton.

[John]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

She's a bad Mama Jama.

[Byron]

Carlton Hud.

[John]

Oh, is that what that was? Bad Mama Jama died. She's a bad mamma.

[Byron]

Jeff up. Yep.

[John]

You have that on.

[Byron]

An Everlasting Love.

[John]

What's that one?

[Toledo]

Nobody knows that one.

[John]

Is that the B side? Do you know it?

[Byron]

I thought it isn't the Everlasting Love.

[John]

Oh, is that one. I know what you're talking about. Is that him too? I'd never.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[Byron]

Maybe not.

[John]

That's cold play. That's.

[Brett Vesely]

I was. I was getting ready for.

[John]

That's the Adulterers. Brett, you're just playing your tune. Yeah, I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's Everlasting Love.

[John]

Yeah, I think. Right. That was a hit.

[Toledo]

Not his version.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John]

No, this is a good one. Now. It sounds like AI everything. That's 70 souls. It's a great song. How has this not been sampled by a rapper begging for. All right, child, we'll get on.

[Brett Vesely]

I got that song.

[Byron]

There's a point break.

[John]

Oh, don't. Don't you dare. Yes, She's a bad Mama Jama is still great.

[Brett Vesely]

Kiss 1230.

[John]

What's his name? Yeah. Kiss 1230. Rhythm of the city bringing you the bad mama jama Told you just as.

[Byron]

F she can be.

[John]

You probably talk to a girl because I wrote a song about you, baby. Oh, that's great. And then he comes back with this, and she's like, all right. Just talking about how hot she is.

[Byron]

Congratulations to Dave Mustaine. He earns the black belt. Brazilian jiu jitsu.

[John]

Nice job. Our old program director years ago used to grapple with Dave. Come back all bruised up with Mustaine scars.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what you're talking.

[John]

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't grapple with Dave Mustang. Yes, you do. We grapple all the time. And if I scratch you, you'll get an infection like a cat. Because redheads and cats are the same. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Was JJ at the lunch with you?

[John]

Yeah, he made. He made me go when Dave Mustaine was mad at me. He's the one who arranged that. Dave's a friend, and he's upset that you make fun of of him. Then we had to go to that lunch where Dave Mustaine got mad at me and told me that he could still shred. And I'm like, okay. And then we stared at each other, and it got really weird. I understand you're a little bit rough on me on the air. I just kind of think you talk funny.

[Brett Vesely]

Who paid?

[John]

Dave Mustang. Oh, wow. Okay. Then we had to go listen to him play guitar for 30 minutes, and he just kept playing it. And then he'd look at me angry again. He'd look at me like, see? And then he'd play it. He'd record it and then play it back. I told you I can still shred. I never questioned this. Why are you so insecure? Don't bring it up on the air. All right, calm down. We're all done. That's it. Tuesday. One more to go.

[Toledo]

We have a new candidate. Texters are saying for phrase of the year. Oh, didn't want to finish the year on an N word.

[John]

Yeah, no, that's. So that's my. That's my.

[Brett Vesely]

My vote.

[John]

Yeah, that's. I didn't want to finish the year on an N word and hand jobs change friendships. I mean, those are three T shirts we should have. Homework's morning sickness fortune cookies. I just crack them open at the end of the year and you get some of our phrases. I like it. That's 1010 Larry's coming up next. You guys be nice to Larry. He'll be nice back. And we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning sickness. For the last time this year, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said fully erect. VRBO helps you swap gift wrap time for quality time, go to VRBO now and book a last minute week long stay and save over $390 this holiday season. Book your next vacation rental home on VRBO. Average savings $396. Select homes only.