12-17-25 - BR - WED - Brady Confuses Us With The Math On Oldest Living Adults Study - Brady's Video Closer For The Year Is A Hacky Xmas Log Pooping Presents Tradition

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 12-17-25 – BR – WED

Theme:
A blend of irreverent comedy and topical banter, this episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" covers everything from geopolitics and old age trivia to bizarre Christmas traditions and outrageous internet videos, all wrapped with the show’s trademark humor and sarcasm. The crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo—embraces confusion, tackles unintended math debates, and closes the year with signature absurdity.

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1. Venezuela, Outrage, and the Art of Not Caring (00:39–10:52)

• Holmberg opens with an email challenging him to care more deeply about the Venezuela situation and US-Venezuela tensions.

  • John admits he can't muster energy to be angry at Venezuela when he doesn't even know their president. He humorously suggests media hasn't “sold” him the villain.
  • Quote: “It’s like going to a James Bond movie and not knowing who the villain is till the third act.” – John Holmberg (04:20)

• Misnaming Venezuela's President:

  • Brady mistakenly says “Hugo Chavez;” John corrects to “Nicolas Maduro” with a stream of Hollywood casting jokes (Edward James Olmos, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin).
  • Brett quips about Johnny Dangerously’s villain Roman Maroney looking just like Maduro, sparking playful references (04:39–07:38).

• On Social Media Activism:

  • John questions the real-world impact of social media “caring,” arguing he’s fine without being plugged into every crisis.
  • “There’s nothing my caring is gonna do.” – John Holmberg (01:27)

• Drugs and Blockades:

  • John and Brady muse on drug trafficking—Florida always being the US entry for cocaine, regardless of which country is the source.
  • Quote: “All that cocaine in Florida comes from Venezuela. Yeah, but we have to want it. There’s a reason it’s coming here.” – John Holmberg (11:57)

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2. Fun Facts, Oldest People, and Math Confusion (13:48–21:13)

• “Glabella” and Smooth Hairless Jokes (13:48):

  • Brady shares that the space between your eyebrows is the “glabella,” sparking Latin puns and body hair jokes.

• Oldest Living Adults Fact Debacle (15:30–21:13):

  • Brady claims Dec 31, 2017, was the only date every adult was born in the 1900s and every minor in the 2000s. The group struggles with the logic, leading to classic HMS confusion and math futility.
  • Quote: “I’m not blaming Brady, but that’s a confusing story there.” – Brett Vesely (17:27)
  • They dig into centenarian records, debate historical lifespans (Moses jokes: “Better diet, just, you know, better climbing.” – Brady [19:17]), and mock the implausibility of 700-year-olds in the Bible (19:04–21:13).

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3. Package Theft Stats and Debt in America (19:39–20:59)

• “Porch Pirate” Statistics:

  • 250,000 packages stolen daily in the US, totaling $15 billion/year. Side jokes about “paint bombing” porch pirates (19:39–20:01).

• Lifetime Debt:

  • The average American will pay off $1.7 million in debt between ages 18–78 (mortgages, cars, loans) (20:29).
  • Quote: "We'll throw a million dollars down on stuff." – John Holmberg (20:38)

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4. Hacking, Dating Trends, and Absurd News (27:02–29:41)

• Parents Running Dating Apps:

  • New trend: Singles let their parents swipe on dating apps to help them find good matches.
  • “She’s always swiping on men that are wearing Gucci… How are they going to do on a hike?” – Brady (27:28–28:25)

• Florida’s Finest Criminals:

  • Story of a woman on trial for fraud who gets caught driving a two-month-overdue U-Haul van (28:51).
  • “How come U-haul can’t find their stuff?” – John Holmberg (29:41)

• Pornhub Data Breach:

  • Jokes about getting hacked if you pay for premium Pornhub (“You absolutely deserve to be hacked if you pay for Pornhub.” – John Holmberg [30:36]).
  • Satirical questioning of what “premium” porn could possibly include (31:04–31:28).

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5. Brady’s Video Closer: Spain’s Pooping Christmas Log (32:01–36:01)

• Tió de Nadal (Poop Log) Video:

  • Brady introduces Catalonia, Spain’s “Christmas Poop Log” tradition, where kids ‘feed’ and sing songs to a decorated log which 'poops' out presents on Christmas.
  • The crew is both baffled and skeptical, treating the segment as a prank on Americans.
  • Quote: “No Christmas tradition includes the phrase ‘then it poops the presents.’” – John Holmberg (36:02)

• Ongoing Mockery:

  • The group imagines Brady enthusiastically sharing the poop log story all week in Gilbert, Arizona.

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6. Video Closer & “Screensavers for the Year” (39:21–47:01)

• Bizarre Videos:
  • A city council complaint about “fragrance sensitivity” (39:54), which John ridicules:
    • “Get off my planet.” – John Holmberg (40:51)
  • Compilation of bizarre and gross internet videos—including lactating women, elephants punching people, chain tricks, and ultimately an explicit “crucifixion of vaginas” via hardware power tools.
  • Quote: “That was horrible. And this lady wants to ban dryer sheets, and this is going on…” – John Holmberg (47:12)

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7. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Current Events:

  • “Maybe I will care, but right now I can’t. I don’t have enough energy to get angry at that.” – John Holmberg (01:47)

• On Math Debacles:

  • “That’s a confusing story there.” – Brett Vesely (17:27)
  • “Why do you do this?” – John Holmberg, exasperated by the numbers (18:25)

• On Traditions:

  • “If anybody would have known about this [pooping log], it would have been you.” – John Holmberg to Brady (38:57)

• On the Show’s Purpose:

  • “There are plenty of other sources for [Venezuela]. You guys are our source for funny and absurd.” – Ethel Cat Caterham (24:19)

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8. Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time | |--------------------------------------------|---------------| | Venezuela outrage & presidential casting | 00:39–07:38 | | War on drugs and Florida cocaine | 09:11–13:22 | | Glabella fun facts and hairless jokes | 13:48–15:23 | | Oldest living adults/math debate | 15:30–21:13 | | Porch pirate and debt stats | 19:39–20:59 | | Parents on dating apps/news tidbits | 27:02–29:41 | | Pornhub hack jokes & premium confusion | 30:05–31:28 | | The Pooping Christmas Log | 32:01–36:01 | | City council “fragrance” rant | 39:41–40:44 | | Grotesque internet video closer | 42:25–47:12 |

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9. Tone & Style

• Rollicking, off-the-cuff, sarcastic, gleefully irreverent
• Mix of pop culture references (Johnny Dangerously, Carlin, South Park’s Mr. Hankey)
• Constant mockery (of each other, world events, and themselves)
• Occasional moments of casual wisdom, heavily seasoned with absurdity

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Summary:
This episode exemplifies why “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” is beloved for its blend of good-hearted mockery and digestible takes on the news of the day—rarely serious, often hilarious, never predictable. The crew closes their year with confused math, poop-obsessed folklore, and a slew of explicit video “gifts,” all in their own reckless holiday spirit.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Brady]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and doughopkins.com. have you ever thought to yourself, I'm going to sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you start to process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing? Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] I got an email from a guy that says, john, it has to be for show. And I know you're just here for the jokes. I love you, but, dude, you have to care about what's happening in Venezuela more than you say. If we go to war with them, it's going to be awful. It's imperative people like you say something and care about this. People listen to you. I hope you're just kidding, Henry. No, honestly, it's hard for me to drum up anger for Venezuela. I didn't even know we were mad at him until a few weeks ago. I need some. I need to. I need a James Bond villain here. They have to do some better. They've done a poor job of introducing me to this president? I don't know. Like, I just saw a picture of him, I think for the first time yesterday. I'm like, okay, we're mad at him. I'm fine with that. You're going to sell me the war right now. It's like. And again, I ask everybody who's political and a little bit crazy, what's all this caring doing for your day to day? When you're out there, quote, caring about all this stuff that social media tells you to, quote, care about? What's it doing? Are you okay? Are you feeling all right? Or is social media making you miserable? I don't have it and I'm fine. I turn around sometimes, go, are we going to war with Venezuela? Okay, Brett, what time you want to meet at Ingos? That's pretty much how I feel about it. There's nothing my caring is gonna do. I don't want anybody to die. I don't want anybody to come here and hurt us right now. I didn't even know we were mad at. I'm just being honest. Maybe I will care, but right now I can't. I don't have enough energy to get angry at that. Who is the president of Venezuela, exactly?

[Brady]

President Venezuela. Hugo Chavez.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. None of us know. And suddenly I have to act like I'm fired up about it. I'm not. Edward James Olmos, that's.

[Brett Vesely]

He plays every.

[John Holmberg]

Every. If I were to cast anyone to play the president of Venezuela, if he was still alive, it's that guy who's your second choice now that he's gone? It's tough. Danny Trejo. Danny Trejo might be my guy. Yeah, Danny's the guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Blue Diamond Phillips does a good job at that, too. I mean, he played Richie Valens.

[John Holmberg]

Very solid choice right there. We'll call them both for the made for TV movie we're making about. Are we. I'm calling it. Are we mad at Venezuela? I mean, Daniel Noriega and Edward James almost had to happen when we went after Panama back in the 80s. It's like, well, that's easy.

[Brady]

I'll go for Cheech.

[John Holmberg]

Cheech Marine.

[Brady]

Yeah. He's been doing some dramatic roles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a good one. I have not seen Cheech or the president of Venezuela, but I think for the most part, we can make people believe that's real now.

[Brett Vesely]

We're still safe. Howard James. Almost still.

[Brady]

Is he still.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So he's.

[John Holmberg]

He's in. Does the Venezuelan guy have a terrible acne problem? Yeah, I don't know. Look him up. I have to know the name of the guy we're mad at to be mad. I'm not mad. I want to be. I will be. I'm capable of it. But I just. Currently, I'm like, oh, I found out this morning that we're. We're doing stuff that might lead to, like, a. A conflict, not a war so much, but like, trying to get rid of a guy. I don't even know who the guy is. I'm not mad at him yet. It's like going to a James Bond movie and not knowing who the villain is till the third act. Okay. Jeez, this is a tough one. Ah, Edward could pull that off. Edward James almost could definitely pull that off. Can't quite. He looks a little like if you put a fat suit on Travis Kelsey and dyed his hair. And maybe Travis Kelsey, when he leaves.

[Brett Vesely]

He looks like the villain from Johnny Dangerously.

[Brady]

He does.

[John Holmberg]

He does. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You Farrar again.

[John Holmberg]

He's got gray hair. Yeah. These farkin guys Fargoing. Anyway. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know. Nicholas Maduro. Okay, I know that. I've heard the name. I just didn't know I was mad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, Henry. I wish I was more, but I can't get fired up about something I wasn't mad about yesterday just because I was told to. I don't know what's going on.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's Roman Maroney.

[John Holmberg]

Roman Maroney from Johnny Dangerously? What a pull. Brett Yanks out of Johnny Dangerously. It's the same guy. Everybody Google villain from Johnny Dangerously. Yeah, I know you haven't seen it. Nobody cared about it. It's a bad movie, but it's the same guy. It's the movie version.

[Brady]

You had to have recently seen that, because that's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

It lives in him.

[Brady]

It does?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Johnny Dangerously lives in him. I can't do this. Michael Keaton and Joe Piscopo, the second mention on the show today, responsible for the Mother's Day massacre, the Christmas day slaughter, the Lincoln's birthday mutilation, and the groundhog's day beheadings. Before we begin the questions, my client would like to read from a prepared statement.

[Brady]

Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

This is the president of Venezuela. I would like to direct this to. To the distinguished members of the panel. You lousy corksucker. Wait a minute.

[Brett Vesely]

He said cork.

[John Holmberg]

He said cork. I dumped it anyway, just in case. Corksucker is different than what I thought I heard. Hilarious. So, yeah, Henry, you're right. Should I care more?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But I have to understand. I just can't care for no reason. Brady. You don't care. You don't know anything that's going on either. Are you fired up about it?

[Brady]

No, but I'm. You know, you mentioned it. I. I think a couple of those videos are pretty cool when they're blowing up those boats.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right. But I thought that was what we were doing. I didn't know we were meant at the whole place. That was mad at like the dude in charge. And I know we're gonna go after everything. All right, you know what? Over the break, I'll get worked up on that and I'll come back mad if you want, if that's what you're asking. Right now I'm just kind of focused on Christmas.

[Brady]

I know. This morning we're blocking the oil.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's a big chips. That's a pretty big move, right? Yeah. All of it's just you. We get a blockade going, it's, you know, it's posturing for trouble. But I'm fine with that. I just don't understand it. And I can't pretend to be mad when I'm not. I wish I could. I wish. Oh, those Venezuelans. I don't think I'm mad at them. I think it's inauthentic for me to be mad at the Venezuelans. Guy said, jesus, you Jew ice hole. Good pull on Roman Maroney as Maduro from Venezuela. Brett. Yeah, that's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's really all that's going. You know what you just did? You're going to make me remember the Venezuelan president. In my head. I'm going to picture Roman Maroney. But now I know it's Maduro. Nice job, Brad. All right, Henry. I'll try. Oh, let me practice. Goddamn Venezuelans. And then I think it's Sofia Vergara. And I'm like, we can't hurt these people. What if there's more? Keep the bombs away from those far ging women cork suckers. Anyway, I don't want to be angry all day long at stuff I can't control. Just man at Philip Rivers and sports and stuff that just. I have a passion about. I'm a passionate about Venezuela yet soon maybe you'll say something that gets me going. But right now, if the drugs are coming into the country, there's an easy way to stop that, which is to keep an eye on your kids. This one says, Henry and I are going to call Venezuela John and tell them that your single handed lack of empathy Is the sole catalyst for us invading them. How dare you? And says, honestly, I agree with you on selling war to the people. I just wish they'd quit dicking around with us on the war on drugs and say what they're really thinking. Do you want to pay $5 for gas or a dollar? Because you're right, that's it. If it's a dollar. Now you sold me. Get gas down to a buck. Let's up Venezuela. Like, too sweet. But I don't know what's going on. I'm not smart enough to be mad about it, so I'm just going to be stupid. It's fun. It's fun, right?

[Brady]

I didn't know they were responsible for a lot of the drug stuff coming through there. It seems like they're Mexico.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Look.

[Brady]

Is it? Yeah, I guess all of that is all of it.

[John Holmberg]

Central America, Mexico. There's a ton of drugs everywhere. People love drugs. As I get older, I realize this war on drugs, my cop friend was right. You want a war on drugs, people will have to die. Lace all of it with fentanyl. Tell everyone it's all laced with fentanyl. Take your chances. The war on drugs will have mass casualties. And then people will be like, I don't want to do drugs anymore. That's a war. What we've been doing is funding the drugs With a fight on one side and drugs on the other. It's just money. If you really wanted to win the war on drugs, you'd have to kill all the druggies.

[Brady]

I do like George Carlin's method of it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, Give them the subsidies and make them grow food.

[Brady]

Yeah. Cut him a check.

[John Holmberg]

Years ago for 6 billion. We sent 6 billion to Mexico to fight the war on drugs. And they. They grow 3 billion. They were killing it. And so if we did 8 billion and said, stop doing that and just grow food and you'll get $8 billion, they would do it. It's money to them. They don't care what they grow. It's the product is selling. There'd still be drugs, but be a lot less of it. I don't know what's going on, but lace it all with fentanyl and all the druggies die. Nobody wants that. That's a real war on drugs. Then the drugs would be the enemy right now. The drugs are still fun. I don't do drugs, but I see people who are on drugs, like, casually, and they seem to be enjoying it. It's the ones that take it too far. It's like bulimia. It works. Until it doesn't. You go too far. You're, you know, at a certain point in bulimia, you've hit your mark. You look pretty good, pretty iced out, like, nice job. And then you take it another 10 pounds, like, oh, we've got a problem. I don't want that to happen either. But anyway, sorry, Henry. I'll try to get angrier at Venezuela over the break. Brady, it's time for you to give us all the other news that we don't know. It's called the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by our friends [e-mail]. you just heard Brady talking about that a second ago. You go over to allprochade.com you get yourself a motorized shade. They'll throw in a heater, and you can do that beautiful nighttime stuff under your shaded patio that's become a new room in your house, the outdoor room that's actually attractive, unlike those weird screened Arizona rooms we had for so many years now. It's beautiful if you got a TV on your back patio like so many of us do, because outdoor living here is awesome. You put that screen up, you kill that glare, and that TV is even more useful in the daytime than it's ever, ever been. Check it out. All prochet.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Maple Syrup Day.

[John Holmberg]

I like that guy. Says, you'd be surprised how close Venezuela is to Florida. All that cocaine in Florida comes from Venezuela. Yeah, but we have to want it. Like there's a reason it's coming here.

[Brett Vesely]

Just send Crockett and Tubbs.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't we have back to Edward James? Almost. What kind of operation is he running down there? Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio. It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughotkins.com. i got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online at Doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins 1800 channel now.

[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS podcast time again. I'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. All right, as you probably already know, we've got the big Holmberg After Dark show this Friday, December 12th. An amazing list of guests will be a part of it all. You're not going to want to miss this one, but you better get those tickets fast because this one sells out. Holmberg after dark Friday, December 12th at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge, improv.com and tempeimprov.com.

[John Holmberg]

Sickness so, should we close Florida? They seem to be the problem. Since I've been a kid, Florida's always been where cocaine comes from, whether it was Cuba or.

[Brady]

Yeah, I always thought the main stream.

[John Holmberg]

Was Cuba, but Cuba's one. And then you had Colombia and then Venezuela. It just sounds like Florida's the problem. All the other countries change. Florida stays the same.

[Brady]

Couple of basis. Fun facts. The space between your eyebrows is the glabella comes from the Latin terms for smooth and hairless. So the guy that came up with it was not a unibrow.

[John Holmberg]

It is Latin for smooth and hairless.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Labella glabella. Glabella. So that's what we're all kind of looking for after the lady goes and gets a wax. There's a nice glabella down there. Yeah.

[Brady]

December 31st.

[John Holmberg]

Make me sick with all that girl talk. It's not just your eyebrows, though. If it's Latin for smooth and hairless, it's everywhere that's smooth and hairless.

[Brady]

But they specifically assigned it to the.

[John Holmberg]

Eyebrows, signed it to the eyebrows. I'm saying if it's Latin for smooth and hairless, then it's that you can apply it to anything. Smooth and hairless.

[Brady]

Yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean, okay? That's. What if it's Latin for smooth and hairless, but they also call that center. That's got two meanings. Then it's also the name of the center thing between your eyebrows.

[Brady]

There is. There's also another word, too. Glabella. Twink.

[John Holmberg]

Twink.

[Brady]

No, flattened for smooth and hairless.

[John Holmberg]

It applies, of course.

[Brady]

December big shaves.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of like how my wig was when the bald eagle has landed. The bald eagle never lands with bumps. Smooth and hairless. Like Jay Guten Talk and her glabella.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

How is she not a spokesman for something.

[John Holmberg]

Smack that monkey. Exactly.

[Brady]

December 31, 2017, was the only day in history where every adult was born in the 1900s.

[John Holmberg]

Say it again.

[Brady]

December 31st, 2017 was the only day in history.

[John Holmberg]

Every adult, every 18 and older.

[Brady]

Yep. In the 1900s in history. Yes. Is that because the oldest person at the time was 117, was 27.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

So they all had to be adults.

[John Holmberg]

So 1917 would be the same thing. Right.

[Brady]

No one was 117.

[John Holmberg]

You're still. All you are is an adult. Nothing changed about you being over 100.

[Brady]

The other part of it says, and every minor was born in the 2000s.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. Of all centuries.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They'Re saying at the time.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, that's true of all centuries. Something's missing from that story.

[Brady]

December 31, 2017.

[Brett Vesely]

Stern had a great idea.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's get the hell out of here. That's right. Let's. Let's get out of here before the masters. We need a Japanese lady who's going to Tekken 8. Yeah.

[Brady]

Because I went back and forth on whether. Because I was trying to figure out, okay, 2017, December 31st, must have been the oldest.

[John Holmberg]

I see what you're saying. You're not just saying all adults. You're saying only adults born. In that sense, we have no one born before 1900. Whatever that would make them. An adult born before the 1900. Yeah.

[Brady]

The oldest one was 117.

[John Holmberg]

So every. So they. That's not true either though, because unlike 1500, I guarantee you there were no 120 year olds on that record.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

There were no miners.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Born in the 1900s. That's kind of the crux of this.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know that because you couldn't have done that.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But to have somebody who's 118, we've only had that for a couple of years or a couple of centuries.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not blaming Brady, but that's a confusing story there.

[John Holmberg]

It is a little bit. But 1700s, there were no 117 year olds that were living in 1717 that we know of. Yeah, no, they just weren't. I'm almost positive.

[Brett Vesely]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Methuselah maybe, but I don't think that medically and with. With no knowledge of germs yet. That the 1700s are like. And they probably didn't do any wrecks. This is only from.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

1900 and 2000, the only two we've got records of. And there was probably a record of 118 year old guy in 1917. So they're like, okay, so this time we don't have 100 most accurate. We don't have anybody who's 118 or older right now. That's surprising.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Find out who the oldest man in the world is right now.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

What I'm looking up.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

If they're 118, Brady Story takes a bump. The oldest man or woman in the world right now is.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Oh, right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

I was gonna say 1900s.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we'd find out.

[Brady]

If they're old enough now, they have to be 125.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I guess that's true. I know that that would be too hard. This research is too much. Why do you do this?

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

As Ethel Cat Caterham, a British super centenarian who celebrated her 116th birthday on August 21, she is the oldest living person.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says if you think about it, 17 years, 11 months, 31 days into each century, everybody that is 18 years old or older was born in the previous century. Unless they're 118. Yeah, right now, we didn't have a lot of those back in the 1700s. We had none. I think the record for like 40.

[Brady]

Further, like in the first, second century, the biblical days, you know where they.

[John Holmberg]

Say they were, there's like 3,731 years. Moses was 700 plus years old. People never question that in your, in your, in your churches. That one just jumps.

[Brady]

Better diet, just, you know, better climbing.

[John Holmberg]

Walked a lot. He's a good. He took walks every day for years on end. That 40 year walk for him was nothing. And he left no litter. Not one ounce of trash on Moses walk, by the way. Not one thing that archaeologists have found in a 40 year walk from all those people. Not one thing. But he was 700 plus years old. And everybody just skips that.

[Brady]

Here's a Porsche pirate. Fun fact. 250,000 packages stolen nationwide every day.

[John Holmberg]

How many?

[Brady]

250,000.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Totaling 15 billion.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Go down a rabbit hole and watch those paint bombing. You know, ones love that.

[John Holmberg]

Do you see the one that guys threatened to sue?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

On the ring camera. It blows up in his face. So they put a little bomb there.

[Brady]

I will sue you.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

That burned my face like you were robbing a package.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Let's go. According to gemini, prior to 1800, the longest verified lifespan belonged to Margaret and Nev. She was born in 1792. She lived to be 110 and 321 days. So just short of her 111th birthday.

[John Holmberg]

So that was the same in that decade or gener century. That's a tough one to follow.

[Brady]

Last one. The average American will pay off 1.7 million. A little over 1.7 million in debt between ages 18 and 78.

[John Holmberg]

We'll throw a million dollars down on stuff.

[Brady]

We million seven mortgages, 62% of that in a lifetime. Cars add up to 245,000. Credit card 387,000. And loan student loans average 35,000.

[John Holmberg]

Kyle says, God damn it, Brady, this is the last day of the show for a year. This is like a mid June type argument. We can't have this. Let's move on. He's right. This is midsummer. Kind of. We can get back to this tomorrow. I can't live trying to be mad at Venezuela. And do the math on Brady's stories, please.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

And then to go further back in the aging thing prior to 1700, you'll like these records. Cy Young was apparently keeping the records. Thomas Parr claimed to be 152 years old and Henry Jenkins claimed he was 169.

[John Holmberg]

Well, see, now he took summers off is what happened. And so every year was. It's eight months, 152. And people like, sure, maybe because they were all dumb. You forget that prior to 1930, aside from Copernicus and. And maybe Newton, everyone was stupid as a stump compared to what we are now.

[Brady]

A little follow up to the 43 year old guy that. And from Australia that wrestled the terrorist gun away during the Bondi beach shooting on Sunday. His name was Ahmed Al Ahmed. Someone put a gofundme together for him and now it's over $2 million. He's in the hospital recovering from the two shots.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Did you see the couple that almost got him too? In their 60s?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, they were the first two that got credit to the folks that went after the guy shooting. There's a couple people out there in Australia not hiding. And Ahmed, Al Ahmed, which most people would think was in on it, did the tackling and the. And the pulling. It was. It's a. It's incredibly heroic to watch that video, what that guy did, and then stand there and take those shots because he didn't even know there was another guy.

[Brett Vesely]

When they first said the name, I thought it was.

[John Holmberg]

Seriously. Yeah. Well, we all had our moment.

[Brady]

Wallet Hub ranked the best cities to spend Christmas in this year. Atlanta took the top spot. It's based on things like how many holiday themed events there are, seasonal businesses like Christmas tree farms, how easy it is to shop, and how much people love the holidays based on Google searches. So the top 10 cities were Atlanta, San Francisco, Seattle, Orlando, Las Vegas, St. Louis, Miami, Pittsburgh, New Orleans and Cincinnati. But if you look at the Las Vegas north. Las Vegas was ranked second to last.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady]

Make sure you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Stay away from there.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Is that Henderson? Which.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's like El Cortez. Fremont Street.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Oh, okay, gotcha.

[Brady]

All right. Phoenix was 21st. Scottsdale was 29th.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. We're in the. We're in the mix.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

John, I, for one, am psyched about this war with Venezuela, and I want you to go in it with me. I'm tired of worrying about fentanyl on my cocaine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. If we could. Yeah, no, if you're a cocaine user, you're probably pretty happy. Like, we gotta slow this fentanyl thing down because I'm. If you're, you know, already paranoid because you're on cocaine and now you're paranoid about your cocaine, that's not living.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

John, all due respect, man, please understand this is not a shot at you, but don't even address this Venezuela bs. Yes, there's a reason to be angry, but if someone is listening to you. A hole.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Serious input on this.

[John Holmberg]

They're dumb.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Well, there are plenty of other sources for it. You guys are our source for funny and absurd.

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes a poignant moment will flop out of one of our mouths and we'll be like, well, that's pretty smart. Much like handjobs change friendships. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio.

[Comedy Announcer]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head north to Desert Ridge to catch Chris Turner from AGT and Heather Posterno perform in Tempe at the Improv. You've got Matt Friend and local girl Jesse Jet Ski Johnson doing their sets. And downtown at Stand Up Live, enjoy the comedy of Timmy no Breaks Lunel and Jay Pharaoh entertaining you this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and 10pimpro.com it's.

[Brett Vesely]

Brett Vesely for Game Day Men's Health. Well, as a lot of you guys know, I had a ton of personal stuff to deal with lately, which means I wasn't even thinking about taking care of myself. Game Day Men's Health is the largest men's health clinic in the valley with 12 convenient locations. They know what us guys are going through and can get you started on a game plan of your own. They specialize in TRT treatment, and they even offer other men's health solutions like hgh Peptide treatment, Medical weight loss and sexual health treatments. Check them out [e-mail] it's time to start taking care of yourself. And for guys, there's no better place to start than game day. Men's health.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. That's life changing. That's a life altering thing to keep in your mind. But we will probably eventually say something smart about Venezuela because we're not paying attention to it. And then common sense sneaks in.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Geez, this is going back to Cha Ching Chavez. You shouldn't care about going to war with. Probably cost you thousands of your tax dollars.

[Brady]

I get it.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Look. But if it's going to result in blowing up a country in great video. That's really all I care about right now.

[Brady]

We spent some big money on some of these high tech look weapons. Let's use them.

[John Holmberg]

It costs Brady money every year to host a party for Ohio State to play like Rutgers. So sometimes you want to see your army go in and rough a guy up, you know, so maybe that's. Yeah, we run a. Run it up against Venezuela and go 77 to 3. How'd they get the 3? We got callous with the ball and we fumbled one off in field goal range. They got one out. But, you know, for the most part, our boys get a little itchy. We send them down to a place we know it's a tomato can. It's a setup fight.

[Brady]

Just cover the spread.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's all we're asking. We don't want this thing to be tighter than it should be. I don't want an Appalachian State moment. Knock these guys down. Get out of there. If we're gonna play around with this, we're gonna dick around with this stuff. Finish them.

[Brady]

We've had our Vietnam.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've done that before. We've had a couple of them had in Afghanistan. People forget that that was kind of the same.

[Brady]

The Wall Street Journal has a story on an emerging trend. Single people are outsourcing their online dating accounts and letting their parents take over on apps like Bumble and Hinge. They talked to a few people in their 20s and 30s. One woman said, yeah, let my mom step in and maybe she can have a better choice, you know, for me to go out with. Because it's hard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And she's. She's always swiping on men that are wearing Gucci.

[John Holmberg]

She likes guys and she likes gays. Because my neighbor Michael has Gucci shoes he wears everywhere. They're actually really nice but if I ever wore them Brett would never talk to me again.

[Brady]

And the girl's response was her mom swiping on it.

[John Holmberg]

The hell are on your feet? Would you step on a muskrat? No, these are my fluffy Gucci sandals. All right, where do I spill the paperwork out for Cordell and Cordell friendship abandoned. This is over, Katie. KB's down the hall. By the way, I'm getting quotes from Johnny Dangerously now. John, you should never ignore your problem with Venezuela. My mother ignored Venezuela once. Once. You're bringing back Johnny Dangerously to me and 2025. It's time to shut the show down for a couple weeks.

[Brady]

The girl that said her mom's picking guys are only wearing Gucci? Yeah the girl says well that's okay but how are they going to do on a hike?

[John Holmberg]

Not great. They're gay. They don't like to hike. Why are you dating Gucci? Quit dating gay guys. I don't want to go on this because of my Gucci shoes. You don't ask a guy in Gucci shoes you want to go on a hike. The answer is no before you even ask in my Gucci's. Are you crazy bitch? I don't think my mom picked a very good suitor. Neither did mine. You've got a vagina.

[Brady]

We got a 39 year old Florida woman named Latoya Clark. She was pulled over on Wednesday blocks away from the U.S. district Court. A license plate reader had flagged her vehicle as being stolen. The cops responded as she was being cuffed. An officer started to explain to latoya why she was being arrested. She says oh I know why. She said she was on her way to the courthouse because she was on trial for a federal crime. She is on trial for alleged role and conspiracy that defrauded 29 million from the government Covid relief loans and grants milk the system and now she has more problems because she was driving a U haul cargo van that she took out for one day rental two months ago.

[John Holmberg]

How come U haul can't find their stuff? Well they report also just apple.

[Brady]

Two.

[John Holmberg]

Months with an and they're just it's so easy to go there it is like U haul trucks are not hidden in and amongst all the other cars.

[Brady]

She's looking at 20 years in prison if everything goes down but she ran into a razor too for some reason.

[John Holmberg]

What do you oh she's all sliced up. Oh her hair got she looks like the fine young cannibals guy oh my God. That's weird.

[Brady]

I Don't know if you heard about this, John, but a hacking group says it. It's attempting to extort pornhub after stealing users viewing data. It's for the pornhub. What is it like the prime members premiums?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

I don't have passwords, emails.

[John Holmberg]

You absolutely deserve to be hacked if you pay for pornhub. But why in the. What extra stuff are you getting on pornhub that you're not getting from free Pornhub? Free pornhub gives you everything. Why are you paying for xnxx?

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Same way.

[John Holmberg]

There's tons of them. And if any of them started to go, hey, we got to charge everybody. You got to be a member. I'd be like, well, I guess I'm moving on. 27 minutes of porn for free isn't enough.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't get the whole story.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brett Vesely]

Just getting clips.

[John Holmberg]

The guy's a filmmaker. What happened to her? What happened after? If she dried off, did something, did her parents. Did the parents come home? What happens with the stepbrother? Is this relationship over? Does the family find out? I can't. I need to be a prime member pornhub. Plus, find out what happens to stepsister after the coding.

[Brady]

Finally, there's.

[John Holmberg]

You don't.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

I mean, I would love to sit down after the dryer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. She pulls her out of the dryer. It's like this. Did the dryer still work? Like, who's got questions? And then at the end it says, for more information, follow the podcast about this for cookies.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

And like Bill Maher does overtime, right?

[John Holmberg]

Overtime.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Today's pornhub overtime.

[John Holmberg]

When she was stuck in that dryer, I got real concerned. And then it just ended. The guy wiped her ass off. And I then what? It just ended. I needed more.

[Brady]

Finally. You might want to try a new Christmas tradition. It's been happening for a few centuries. It's out of Spain. Catalonia, Spain. It's called Tia de Nadal. Name translates as Christmas log. It's also known as the poop log. Okay, so I have a video that.

[Narrator]

Will show you how magical log of Christmas Eve welcoming the Caratio song. And it will poop presents for everyone.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the log poops presents.

[Narrator]

The most popular and original Catalan Christmas traditions. But where does it come from? How does it work?

[John Holmberg]

It's Mr. Hank.

[Narrator]

The TIO da Nadal, commonly known as Caratio, became popular between the 17th and 18th century in the towns and villages of Catalonia, Aragon and Occitania. Initially, the tradition of making the Tiota Nadal Poop was related to nature and to the winter solstice.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care anymore.

[Brady]

Get on. I'll show it.

[John Holmberg]

Better deliver, Brady.

[Narrator]

Several years have passed, but the tradition of having a Theodore Nadal is more alive than ever. How does it work?

[John Holmberg]

How does it work? Hold on. Two legs on a log.

[Narrator]

Before Christmas. This way, on Christmas Eve, its belly will be full and ready.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I'm not.

[Brett Vesely]

What the hell am I watching? What is this?

[John Holmberg]

Gastrointestinal?

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Are you shocked?

[Narrator]

Gather around the Christmas log reciting poems and singing songs.

[Brett Vesely]

I want to see something beaten. Then.

[Narrator]

Yeah, Then the whole family and friends.

[Brady]

Sing a couple of songs.

[Narrator]

Then you beat the law singing the Garatillo song.

[John Holmberg]

This is a joke on Americans, Brady. And you fell for it.

[Brady]

And then the log poops presence.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a bunch of people.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

We know your excitement for poop.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm just trying to change things up. You know, the elf on the shelf.

[John Holmberg]

No. Know, people in Spain are like, still.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Didn'T see where you can buy it.

[John Holmberg]

What if we told Americans to buy a log that poops and see if any of the idiots actually believe it to be a tradition? Oh, my God. There is a guy in Gilbert who has bought two.

[Brett Vesely]

He does it every year.

[John Holmberg]

We did not think this joke would go through, but look at what's happening. Feed him bananas and chocolates and fill his log with poop. Brady, it doesn't poop logs. You put the presents in there and then you turn it over.

[Brady]

Okay, Santa.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Brady]

Why would you do that?

[John Holmberg]

Because nobody wants a piece a new.

[Brett Vesely]

Christmas in their house.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

You're the one that's revealing it.

[Brady]

He revealed it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I tell you right now, kids, don't buy this one.

[Brady]

That poop log watches you, too.

[John Holmberg]

I think the guy in America actually wants this to be a thing. A big stick takes a in your house and you keep it T o Nadal. And there's going to be. This will end in about a minute and a half, and we'll never hear from it again. But all week long, all week long, Brady's going to be talking about this with people. You heard about the Tio del Natal it poops presence. Yeah.

[Brady]

The tradition in Spain.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

If you're in Brady's orbit down in.

[John Holmberg]

Gilbert, you're gonna hear about this a lot. This is a big one for him. The present pooping log. Merry Christmas. Whatever country that is.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

God damn it. I got a log you can beat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a joke on us. And you watched it all the way through. Get to the end get to the rat killing there at the end. It's good stuff.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Jesus Christ. Can we go back to last year? I want to hear Dominic the donkey again.

[John Holmberg]

And then your people of Gilbert will get a big poop 3. I'm getting one of those. He is buying more poop products. This guy. Relentless.

[Brady]

Poops. 10 fruitcakes everyone.

[John Holmberg]

Stupid.

[Brett Vesely]

Did Brady just say a new Christmas tradition that's been going on for centuries?

[Brady]

Yeah, for here for you guys to start a new tradition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's all right. We'll let you slide on that one. Even though this thing's a joke against us because nobody in Spain's ever gone. Why doesn't America do poop trees? Nobody does that. We tried. You didn't fall for it. That's not a real thing.

[Brady]

Bah humbug.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Because I don't want infiltrating my Christmas. I know it's a joke because no Christmas tradition includes the phrase then it poops the presents. That's new. Merry effing holidays from the big red radio.

[Brady]

It's Brady from HMS And I would always hear guys talk about their testosterone levels, but I didn't know much more than that. That changed when I went to the Game day men's health clinic and found out what my testosterone level was. Game Day's on site lab was quick and easy and I found out that I was an ideal candidate for testosterone treatment. Game Day offers other men's health solutions like hgh, peptide therapy and sexual health treatments. All you have to do is visit one of the 12 game day men's health clinics in the valley or check out gamedaymen's health.com. it's time to get back in the game.

[John Holmberg]

Come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal.

[Comedy Announcer]

Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. Holmberg's morning sickness that would have been shot down in marketing back in the 1600s. Maybe to have a log. Just take huge people's living rooms. What are you talking about? Jeff? No. Scott, do you have any ideas? How about just a fat guy that drops stuff off his magic. There we go. That's where we're heading. So Santa steps over the. The fallen tree.

[Brady]

That's just a log.

[John Holmberg]

Where do the presents go? For real people in Spain, some just.

[Brady]

Have the pooping log.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, I know, because you started to bounce.

[Brady]

You lift it up in the logs.

[John Holmberg]

So they've abandoned all Christmas traditions for the log that craps. And we're just now here.

[Brady]

Well, I think that might be the start. My theory is it was the start of the. It was the first pinata. You're beating the log with stick, and then it modified into paper mache or.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever they made and then moved to Spain. They beat that, and then it became pinatas.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And this is the first we're hearing of that. First time I heard up on the rooftop, beating my log with a Christmas stick. Thank you very much.

[Brett Vesely]

What's Izzy doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's check it out. I bet you she's not. She's not taken.

[Brady]

Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what? You'll come back and go more about the pooplock. That was worse because he somehow managed to be worse than the poop log. We would have been you of all people. You know, in Spain, they have a log that takes a. You'd have known this your whole life. This is in you.

[Brady]

If I knew about the pooping log.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's why I'm saying it's fake and brand new, as you'd have known. If anybody would have known about this, it would have been you. They do that in Spain. You gotta see it. You would have known. It would have been in your algorithm. Just like breast milk videos. This would have been all over it. They got any videos? Speaking of.

[Brady]

That was it.

[John Holmberg]

That was. Oh, thanks for that.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Closer for the year.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, finish this off.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know how I can compete with that. I'll give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

Bring it back, I said.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you. You had one. You wanted me to show.

[John Holmberg]

I just wanted to show this lady. I gave it to Brett because he's got the thing. This. Look at this lady. This is. This is a woman who thinks she's going to make headway in a. In a city council meeting with her request, listen to what she is. Listen to her affliction. Is that. That's not what I sent you. That's what she sent me. No, it isn't.

[Brett Vesely]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

That's not it, anyway. Well, that's not it. No, that's terribly. That's a dirty one. I don't know why I clipped that one. It gave you the wrong thing. It's a. It's a lady who goes up and she's got. God dang it. See if I can sit and see.

[Brett Vesely]

That.

[John Holmberg]

It works on me. This is what I sent you.

[Brady]

I'm not trying to be difficult, but my neighbor uses dryer sheets and the fragrance travels. It permeates the block. I have fragrance sensitivity. This isn't a preference.

[John Holmberg]

She's got fragrance sensitivity. And she wants the world to stop using drier logs.

[Brady]

Sometimes it can cause headaches.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, then. Then just get used to it, because it's not gonna. You're gonna have stinks. Here she goes. Yeah, this be difficult, but my neighbor.

[Brady]

Uses dryer sheets and the fragrance travels. It permeates the block. I have fragrance sensitivity. This isn't a preference.

[John Holmberg]

It's physical. I'm just asking if we can restrict.

[Brady]

Scented dryer products for the community.

[John Holmberg]

She wants to restrict bounce and snuggle because. Get off my planet. Get my planet.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

I guess that's true, Brady, but can't the. The city council member go? Yeah. No move.

[John Holmberg]

He can go. You get off my planet.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You have fragrance sensitivity to a point where you want the government involved for just you. You arrogant bitch. Get out. If you're. Fragrance sensitivity. Trees, flowers.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

You arrogant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. People. Soaps, Colognes. Perf. You can't go outside. Dryer sheets.

[Brady]

You're just.

[John Holmberg]

You just don't like dryer sheets. She took time out of her day. She's so bored. No wonder her husband left her. I noticed her hand. What'd they tell Ringless? Yeah. Huh?

[Brady]

Did they have a response?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they did. They. They immediately. They shot her dead right there in the room. So good. The world is better.

[Brady]

Time for you to move out of the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

How does she have a friend in the world? Well, I can't be around you. I. Fragrance sensitivity. And you were fragrant.

[Brett Vesely]

I wish Roman Maroney was ahead of that.

[John Holmberg]

You got sucked. So ridiculous. So I saw that, and I'm like, well, if this lady. If we got to get back to the days where people are like, oh, shut the up. Leave. What are you doing?

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

You're not going to hear me. No, you're. You're. Nonsense.

[Brady]

We heard at the meeting next month. Yeah. There's so many dryer sheets in my.

[John Holmberg]

Yard, she can't even go down the dryer sheet aisle at the store. Smells good. She can't go down there to eliminate those fragrance. I have Fragrance sensitivity, too. To people that stink. But I can't ban them.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

You asked to be heard. We heard you. What you want is us to agree with you, which we don't.

[John Holmberg]

And you know. You know what? We are going to pass a resolution. No more idiots can come in here and do stuff like this. You're. You're out. We're allowed to interrupt you and send you home for stupid stuff anyway. Go ahead, Brad. F. You go, fatty.

[Brett Vesely]

The boys wanted to give one for Brady this year. This is. This is especially for Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, not just that, but it's a picture of a grilled cheese. This one was entitled Merry Christmas. This one's for Brady. Oh, it's a. It's a compilation of women shooting breast milk. And look, he's locked in. That one's a good one. Well, she's lactating in her swimsuit. There's just. I mean, this is a. The finest video Brady's ever seen. Oh, that one's super pregnant, about to birth it. And her. Oh, my God, that's kind of hot. I may be with Brady on this one. She's milking through a shirt. And then there's a lesbian scene. I don't know how this happened. One pregnant lesbian that's in it again. Asian with huge cans. The gift of life coming out of each nipple. There's a lady suckling on her pregnant friend. You gotta be.

[Brady]

I love the music.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

That's a whole new level.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta be pretty borderline satanic to give your baby's milk to your lesbian lover.

[Brady]

Yeah, I was just sick of that.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Like, hey, there's somebody who actually means that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you are. And by the way, how did you get pregnant? You don't. You're doing it wrong. And I think that was Keisha Knight Pulliam from the Cosby Show. That last shot, I think she was. That's for Brady. And it might have been Rudy. I think I just watched Rudy drink a gallon of milk. That was nice. Thanks to the boys for. That's a nice Christmas present. You should send that and put that in your poop log for your mom.

[Brady]

Poop log.

[John Holmberg]

Star date.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Star date.

[John Holmberg]

1.75. January. All right, pretty.

[Brett Vesely]

I like this one, too.

[John Holmberg]

Elephant on the ground and a bunch of people.

[Brady]

And I will love it.

[John Holmberg]

Laughing at the elephant, and they're playing with its trunk.

[Brett Vesely]

There's no sound.

[John Holmberg]

There's no sound.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

And it's a grabber in the snooch.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he just punches the kid. An elephant punched a guy with his trunk. I've never Seen it.

[Brady]

He punched the chest.

[John Holmberg]

Walled up his. Was that a woman?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's. I see.

[Brady]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

He's down in a pit at a zoo of something. Oh, that is kind of. Does she R word?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

She looks a little. And he did not want his picture taken. She tries to take a picture with her stupid phone. And the elephant balls his trunk up and punches her in the face. And it is a solid shot. And he's trying to. He wants out. He's a. You know, it's prison for elephants. He's not happy in there.

[Brady]

The sign says no picture.

[John Holmberg]

And he's hanging his head over the edge of the. The dungeon they keep him in. And he punches. Did it say no pictures?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I was gonna say. Okay, here's a midget kicking someone. Oh, there's two midgets kicking a guy in the ball.

[Brett Vesely]

There's not much. Yeah, there's not much.

[John Holmberg]

This one looks like that one hurt at all. I think I could tolerate that. All right. All right. I've never seen an elephant punch before. That was neat. All right, here's a beautiful, beautiful lady laying on her. She's got a guy in a leg lock. Yeah, leg lock with her thighs. Now she's picking lint out of her belly button and she's feeding the guy. And then now she puts him back into the thigh. Leg lock. Okay, that was gross. These are just. These are quick.

[Brady]

That was a thin mint.

[John Holmberg]

All right, next up is a woman with a full, like massive construction sized chain link chain in her butt and on her. In her lady bits. And here it's coming out. 3. 3ft of chain coming out of there. Nice virgin. The chain coming out of there was. These guys are just loading us up with. And then this is.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll just end here.

[John Holmberg]

All right. I don't know. That's a hammer and nails. Oh, my God. It's lips to the plywood. They are crucifying a woman's labia onto a board. There's a. There's a drill and a screw. Oh, no. Oh, my God. He's taking a dewalt on and he's. He's screwing her labia to another one. Oh, my God.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Oh, that's got some.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Now he's gonna.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

Now he's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got. He's got a wealth. He's gonna brand it. And he's got a little. And he's branding the labia. Oh, my goodness me Lord almighty.

[Brady]

Now you're a mine.

[John Holmberg]

And there's an s. Oh, he put his initials after he. Oh, my God, that one. I'm with you on Brady. In a city of 5 million, there's maybe one.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a screensaver for the year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it just looks like somebody's. They threw a piece of Carl budding roast beef onto a wall. It looks like a bad prime rib. I'd like. I want the other cut.

[Brett Vesely]

So we're just going out on a high note there.

[John Holmberg]

Spread open onto a board. It's the crucifixion of vaginas. Yikes. That was horrible. And this lady wants to ban dryer sheets. This is going on.

[Brady]

The hammering.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just. I walk through my neighborhood and bounce. It just smells like bounce. I hate it. I like it. Banned. What would be easier? Banning dryer sheets or you. You. You're banned. They build a fragrance free box for her to live in for the rest of her life. And we'll just doordash food to her every day by an unscented. What an idiot. Thank you for that. That was an interesting one. That made my pee pee hurt. I don't even have girl bits in my junk. Was mad. There you go, everybody. That's your final Brady report of 2025. And it had math. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Ethel Cat Caterham]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, gang.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Check out the website qualitycarstereoaz.com.