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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.
John Holmberg
Really?
Byron
That simple?
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
John Holmberg
It's John Holberg here from the Morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and doughopkins.com. have you ever thought to yourself, I'm going to sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you start to process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing? Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com Good morning, everybody.
Announcer
Hello there.
John Holmberg
Welcome to Wednesday Friday. This is it. 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. And we're gonna half ass our way, limp through this mother effer and get the hell out of here. It's Christmas time. We're going. The closest thing we get to be in Beth. And now Howard Stern, which is still on my mind from yesterday.
Brett Vesely
We're taking summers off.
John Holmberg
Taking summers off, Right. That's enough. I just have to take an entire season and I don't understand. Oh, I watched this little. He did a little clip thing yesterday just because I was like, how do you do it? I'm jealous. I'm envious. I love That I found a way to have it all and still not work. And I love my job. If you love your job, why are you trying to take whole seasons off? Well, I love my job. Look, I love the check, and I'm telling you, I don't want to go to it, but I love it.
Byron
He also feels there's a lot of people that depend on him working.
John Holmberg
There's tons of that. But stop it. Get over yourself. They're adults. If they can't. If they're like, what do we do now? Then they're just. They haven't been paying attention. You've worked on Howard Stern show for however many years. You can't take that resume somewhere. I just. I have to keep these people employed, and I don't know. I just don't want to go to work for, like, three weeks. Three months. Sorry, Brett.
Byron
Yeah. When you went over the contract. Oh, man, it's pretty nice.
John Holmberg
Oh, you look at it, you're like, okay, that's. That's pretty huge money. Yeah. Don't have to work for four months. Okay, that's great. So we get ours. We get to leave today. We're even. Tripp. I talked to Tripp last night. He goes, you guys done Wednesday? Like, yeah. Why Wednesday? Why not Wednesday? Yeah. No, Yeah, I guess that.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Why not Tuesday? Actually thought about it last night. What are we doing? What's Wednesday? We already finished up yesterday. But anyway, everybody gets that feeling. No matter how much you like your job, if somebody said, you want to take the next three months and do nothing, I don't. I don't know if I could leave. I. Feels like a trap. I don't know.
Byron
And then yesterday had a little added bonus potential, but it didn't happen.
John Holmberg
Huh?
Byron
I go to Cobblestone car wash the day before. I'm like. I'm not even paying attention. Oh, look at that, though.
John Holmberg
On Monday, the Powerball. Oh, one point. That's a billion dollars.
Byron
You know what? I'll buy.
John Holmberg
Nice. Here we go.
Byron
Yesterday in the paper, million dollar. You know, hit the Powerball number. Sold in Arizona at the Cobblestone at yours.
John Holmberg
I had one years ago where somebody won a million dollars, and it was on. Was it Camp Verde? What's that little weird thing with the Taco Bell, Pizza Hut on your way to Payson or. No, so don't. I mean.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
No. No. Hila. Ben's down. Oh, yeah. Verde, right? I think that's Camp Verde. I think so.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And you pull over, and they get this gas station a couple little Things and like, people. I guess people live in that area. I know why. Jesus Christ. You lost a bet. There's nothing to do. So I got a thing and I got to the place up in show low because we're or Sedona keep saying this and of Sedona and I sat down that blah, blah, did nothing. Next day, they're like Powerball tickets sold and like, you know, off the i17. And I'm like, oh, Jeff Tripp on speed dial. I don't remember if it wasn't Camp Verde, but they kept, like. They kept kind of making. Like maybe my brain was doing it. No, this was Chuck. Oh, okay. This was back when Chuck was still here. I. Oh, I was ready. I had a speech ready. Like, you know what? Hello? Ahoy hoy, Mike. Hi, Chuck. It's John, your former morning guy. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, you can go yourself. I still love you as a person, but you got to find a new guy. God damn it. Give me a week. I thought about that. No, I quit today. I need a ho ho. You're killing me. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't hear you over my new yacht. You already bought a yacht? No, those were. I faked it. But still, you know, you get to message.
Brett Vesely
I'm actually in Italy having lunch right now.
John Holmberg
I'll get back to you. Me and George Clooney are having lunch, and I can't hear you. Oh, tell George I said his mother owes me money. No, I've had. But it was Camp Verde. Was the. Oh, it was Mayor Arizona. That was it. And they had made a mistake on the news, actually, and said that it was Mayor and it wasn't. It was Prescott or something like that. And I remember going to show low news, and I was like. Or watching the news there, and I'm sitting in there and I said, a ticket was sold yesterday. Oh, it's weird how you get, like, half hard. I've had a couple of those moments, slot machines and almost hit that. You get the one that's the progressive and it's like a million four, and you hit the first two. You never see that. That's. That's the granddaddy. And you hit the first two, and you're like, if this lands and it spins really fast, like, the third reel speeds up and doesn't stop for a while, and the whole machine goes. Plays this song. You're like, oh, my God, the big ones. And then like a bar mother ever. So, yeah, we all have the dreams of what could make it so we didn't have to show up anymore. Howard just signed a contract where they. They pay him not to show up for three months. As long as he shows up for the other nine, we're good.
Brett Vesely
He hit the powerball without.
John Holmberg
Well, you know, he earned it. I'll give him. He. I don't get in his pockets. The man earned it. But at 71, there's a certain point where you're just like, stop it. Quit telling everybody how much you love your job and then negotiate how much you don't want to be there. I absolutely love the show is better than ever, and I love it. I'm just not going to do it for three months. Isn't that right, Red Robin?
Byron
Yum.
John Holmberg
Thank you.
Brett Vesely
We're picking on Beth.
John Holmberg
It's Beth Stern over there. Yeah, yeah. Look, I got to spend three months of the time with Beth in the summer. I mean, you know, she's gonna turn 40 soon, and, you know, her beach body's not going to be there, so I got it this summers, but it's nice. So this is our last show of the year, and we're all right with that. And speaking of, I got an email of, like, that kind of stuff. A guy. This guy said, hey, John, I just realized that when you say you're in your 25th year of doing this show, you're not joking. It's not an exaggeration. My wife and I were actually talking about it after your show Friday, which we thought was absolutely awesome, by the way. You and Frank killed it, but we wondered if you feel like the show was better or worse at any given time. What would you say the heyday was? Honestly, we've been listening for 13 or 14 years, and I feel like it's as good now as it's ever been, but it's definitely different than when we first started listening. Did the show ever just really suck? When was it? Great spin and Terry Seems like it's like Terry's dog wrote us a letter. Thanks, Spin. Fetch. I threw a frisbee for spin, and he doesn't want to answer the email. He's going to bring it back to me.
Byron
Sounds like a comic strip.
John Holmberg
He actually wrote of the bomb. He said, yes, that's my wife's name, too. Wait a minute. Spin is your wife? Yeah, Terry is spelled with an I.
Brett Vesely
Maybe they're emailing from title nine.
John Holmberg
Oh. Oh, it's one of them modern mar. Know. Yeah. One of them lady on lady bit marriages.
Byron
I.
John Holmberg
You might be right. Halftime of a spin. Yeah, that's what I'm saying hey now.
Byron
Women's volleyball game. That's right. Hber.
John Holmberg
We don't have like lesbian couples that have been listening for 13 years. We'd have pissed them off by that. You can't. Lesbian couple can't listen to us for 13 years and still be okay with us. Maybe a pretty nice looking good lesbians, I would guess. I'm gonna put it in my J. Lady J. That's true. She was. Yeah, I guess spinning there for a while. Lady Jay's around. That's true, that's true.
Byron
In and out.
John Holmberg
What?
Byron
We got letters from her in.
John Holmberg
Oh, in the joint and out of the joint. Yeah, I guess so. You make a good point, Brady. It could be Lady J's friends. Smack that monkey. Spank your chicken. Thank you. When should I do this, Jay? Now.
Byron
Now.
John Holmberg
Now. Thank you. It's big. Shaved. Kind of like how my head was for a while. Right. And by the way, when the bald eagle has landed, the bald eagle never lands with bumps. She's talking. That woman right there was talking about her vagina.
Byron
Smooth landing.
John Holmberg
Dick is what. What do you hate more on the planet than anything? Dick. That's right. And what do you call men? Idiots. Okay. Why? What are they, mentally challenged or what? Yeah, that's probably it. Anyway, yeah, Brady's right. Lady J listened for a long time. But I remember meeting lesbians at the show Friday. I'd remembered Spin and Terry, the lesbian.
Byron
Couple we got to meet. Spin and Terry.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I gotta meet Spin first of all, because all I'm picturing is a border collie that's about to run a course. Anyway. Spin and Terry. I don't know.
Byron
Spin. I'm picturing four, nine, spin. 102 pounds.
John Holmberg
But he said yes. That's my wife's name too. T o, O like also like, he's also Spin and. Or Terry. I don't care about this letter. Which one are you? Spin and Terry with an I? Yes, that's my wife's name too. Is it a improper use of 2As?
Byron
Also, are you guys an acoustic duo? Do you do coffee houses?
John Holmberg
I gotta find you guys. Spin and Terry. Yeah, it's a border collie and a dude and a woman. This is a Disney movie where a lady married her dog. So my grandpa was afraid of. With gay marriage, you let him get married and then what? And then you start marrying animals. Like. I don't know if that's. Here it is. Spin and tear. Well, spin. Good boy for figuring out the keyboard. I've watched these AI videos Where bulldogs are driving and cats maybe spins one of those. I don't know if this show's better or worse every time. I don't know. I'm more. I don't know. There's been times it stunk. It's been challenging.
Byron
Has there been a dark year?
John Holmberg
Has there been a whole year where it's just been, this sucks. We suck.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
There's been days.
Byron
I don't know if we're gonna go on.
John Holmberg
I don't know if we can even think. Like, there's never been a day where it's just been, I got nothing. I don't know. Pretty. Somebody do something. Yeah. I'm sure messed up. We're out. I'm sure it sucked for a while, and I'm sure it was great for a while, but you're talking to us like it's a eulogy. Maybe tomorrow will be great. Well, we won't be here. Maybe next year will be the best. I don't know. I can't remember yesterday's show. I don't know.
Byron
There's definitely been a period where it's gotten better. Feel like, oh, wow, we got rejuvenated.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, no. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. When Brett got here, I think the best the show ever was for me. Wow. I don't want to do this because this seems. Spin and Terry, you've ruined my mind. I'm just gonna get a stick. I don't need to distract. Spin for a minute. Who wants a cookie? Spin. Do you want a cookie? Let's get a cookie. Let's just. I think the best ever in 25 years. I think it was the COVID year, to be honest. That was the. The COVID year was the hardest one, and it was the one where it was like, wow. I think it made everybody who we all got better at this because we had nothing. There were no advertisers. We were scared to death. The whole thing was just going to close up. No comedians coming in, Nobody could visit us, no guests, no prizes, no anything. Like, we had nothing. And we just had to come in here and the news every day was the same thing. And it was like, what do you do? And I think that was kind of the one where it challenged the most challenging and then the most, I guess the most. The one I'm most proud of, because in. In that interim, we had the. We had to make moves, too. It was just.
Byron
In a way, burden has been lifted as far as the pressures of you got to have these ratings. You Got it. You know, that kind of stuff.
John Holmberg
I felt like that was the worst. I felt that was the most for sure. Not even about ratings. Ratings didn't matter. It was. We didn't have a dollar coming in. There wasn't. I mean, there wasn't nobody in that time. People forget five years ago, not a soul spent money on advertising. You had a few. Like, I think the guys at mo money pond were doing it for like a buck. Like, nobody. This. We were dead dry. Imagine your business start back. Yeah. Your business goes from absolutely crushing to zero in a day. And that's. Most of us had that happen. And then you still got to go in there and figure it out. Good boy. Spin. Good boy. Great question. It's got me thinking. I don't know. Merry effing holidays.
Announcer
From the big red radio.
John Holmberg
It'S John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughhopkins.com. i got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.
Announcer
All right, HMS Podcast. Time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Head north to Desert Ridge to catch Chris Turner from AGT and Heather Posternach perform in Tempe at the Improv. You've got Matt Friend and local girl Jessie Jet Ski Johnson doing their sets in downtown at Stand Up Live. Enjoy the comedy of Timmy Nov Breaks Lunel and Jay Pharaoh entertaining you this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempe improv.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
John Holmberg
I read that email and I'm like, I didn't really put any thought to it till we opened the mics. I'm like, wow, that's a thing. What is it? There's probably.
Byron
We also had to take a, you know, reduction that.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we took a pay cut. Everybody did.
Byron
Yep.
John Holmberg
And we were told it was going to come back to us, and they kind of sat on that.
Brett Vesely
And we got new furniture on the patio, though, during that time.
John Holmberg
So that is. Remember that? Remember that? I noticed it. Wait a second. And it wasn't. It was pretty nice too. Well, you know, we were gonna. We were probably gonna not be able to run the air conditioning. We'd probably do the show outside. That was. Yeah, it was probably the most I was thinking about. That's weird. And we started off the week before 9 11. So it wasn't like. It wasn't like this thing got off to a rousing kickoff. That was also the two tragic events of this show's timeline. 9 11, and the pandemic were probably the two that just said, screw it, let's go. Cause I came back from New York after 9 11, and I just sat down. I said, what it is, is what it is. And we. And Joe Piscopo was our first guest After 9 11. I'll never forget that.
Brett Vesely
Oh, wow.
John Holmberg
And I just said, well, we're gonna go. I'm not gonna try to please people. Let's just do what we want.
Byron
We didn't grind well. You know, I was like, whatever happens, happens. Hopefully it works.
John Holmberg
And let's just go. Let's just throw. I'm. I'm tired. I. I wanted being.
Byron
Without dwelling on that.
John Holmberg
I wanted to play the game. I wanted to be like the guy who helps out the bosses and whatever you need. And I just sit and apologize for everything, you know, I'm not doing that anymore. Like, this is like, we're in a world where tomorrow this thing can shut off. I think that kind of changed my mind. You find your voice through weird adversity. Great question. Spin. And Terry, thanks a lot for that. Now I gotta sit and think like that. Just. That's just stuff you ask old people. God damn it. Now we're old, too. Spin it. When's your greatest time? Stop it.
Byron
David Place.
Brett Vesely
Dave was just asking online, is it. Was it difficult with Brady broadcasting from home for five?
John Holmberg
I mean, that's why Covid was so challenging. Like, Brady couldn't come in five weeks. It was. It felt. It felt like it was. That was probably my favorite time. I go back there.
Byron
It is.
John Holmberg
I go back to that. That was. I was in here pretty much alone because I had to do a show in. When we first got. Brady got sick, I did a show on my phone from the car, and I would send it to Toledo. I was. I was in the car alone, talking to nobody, doing breaks, and I was like, this is turning me into something new. So, yeah, it Was another one where it's like, all right, found a new voice, found a new way to do this, and it was different. So I don't know.
Ranch House Grill Announcer
That's.
John Holmberg
I don't like it because that's like sitting there saying, oh, we were great then. I don't know that I've ever felt that way. I like this thing. I think we do a really nice job. But I'm like, I always feel like, what are we missing? And when is somebody going to come in and tell us we suck? Like, that's the imposter complex lives in me in a huge way. So it's like one of these things where I just wait for somebody. But then the funny thing is that lives inside me that somebody's going to come in and tell us we suck. But if it's our current batch of owners and bobs, I wouldn't like. You don't know what you're talking about. Like, so if they told me I sucked, I'm like, I don't suck. You suck. So I think they have the imposter complex more than me. So I can play that. Over the last few years, I guess, understanding the leverage end of business side, I'm not real good at that, but I kind of got a little better. Well, I stood in. I stood in a little more concrete over the last couple years. Yeah. You know, whereas before I was. I would vacillate more. Like, let's just. Let's just be. Let's just kind of take the easiest path forward. And I did that with COVID I think maybe Covid taught me that, where I sat back and said, I'll take the shot. I'll do whatever it is to make this easier on everyone. Just get this off everyone else's desk. And then after a few things happened, I'm like, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna necessarily just. I think I've stood in cement a little more. I think that made us better at this. I don't know. That's a good question. Spin and Terry with an eye, Whichever one you are. Yes. That's my wife's name, too. He says, well, the only one that's weird in there is. Is Spin.
Byron
He Spin.
John Holmberg
You think?
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Then why would he comment about his wife's name? Terry? That's normal. That doesn't make any sense. Spin and Terry. How long you guys been.
Byron
At first, I thought, well, it's kind.
John Holmberg
Of like Bunny, but it is.
Byron
Well, that's not her. You know, she was given that name.
John Holmberg
As a kid, but Terry with an eye is not a man's name. If a guy signed and it said Bunny and spin and it said, yes, that's my wife's name, I'd be like, okay, Bunny, that's a. That make. Ha ha ha. But spin and Terry trying to think, yes, that's my wife's name. Spins the weird name and that. I don't understand this. Throw a Frisbee for spin. He's. He's the one that does the tricks off that guy's back at halftimes. You see that Frisbee? Yeah. Frisbee dog. Yeah. He throws us air. Air something. Air spin. We'.
Byron
That dog's amazing, Adam.
John Holmberg
He's dead. He's been long dead.
Byron
Really?
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, that guy. I started hating him, the dude, because he would breed those dogs to jump off of his back and make him money, which is fine. That's fun. But he took the original one, and he would. And that old dog would still jump and land on his poor little legs. And I watched him once at a son's game actually here, and they had him out at halftime, and they're like, let's bring out the original guy. Trots out. He's still in good shape. I think it was a whippet. And Ashley Whippet dog. I don't remember what kind of. And he throws it in the air, and dog kind of runs up his back. Doesn't even come close to catching the Frisbee. When he lands on the basketball court, his back leg splayed. And I'm like, he's not strong enough anymore. You gotta stop. The guy goes, oh, well, thanks, everybody. And he walks away. And I'm like, oh, you prick. You're gonna run this thing until his hips explode. I mean, it's like. That's literally like. The dog was like Philip Rivers. We're all watching for when he gets hit. And it all. This was a bad idea.
Byron
Just before he put the Js on him, trying to put, like, shoe mitts.
John Holmberg
So they would slip on dog was.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And the last thing you want to hear is the crowd of people going, this is fun. These dogs catch everything. Is the dog laying there with two broken hips. We'll clean him up. Don't worry. I got five others. I forgot that dude's name. God damn it. And they started doing halftime. At first, it was remarkable. I loved that dog when he was young. He's springing off of his back fast.
Byron
He could get up and down.
John Holmberg
That guy could throw some great Frisbees. I'm like, he's talented, too. Nobody even pays attention to where he's putting these things. It's pretty amazing. He's flipping and spinning and everything else. And then he was, like, 14. He's got a cataract in one eye. Can't see. All right. And he throws it, and the thing climbs his back. Wasn't even close. Frisbee hit the ground and settled before the dog even jumped off. His shoulder hit the court, splayed out, and he just laid there and closed his eyes. Guy scooped him up. I got a bunch of them, man. Don't worry about it. He was a cute dog, too. I want to say Gordon something. Is that right? That guy's gonna look it up. Yeah, that one's gone. But it was a neat dog.
Byron
Well, it was the year that we did most of our shows on ice.
John Holmberg
With Disney on Ice. We're gonna bring out that Frisbee spin. And Terry on the ice.
Brett Vesely
Seth Meyers.
John Holmberg
It says Seth Meyers. Not that Seth Myers, but the host of the Late show. No, not that one. Late night. His name was Seth Meyers. That doesn't seem right. Was he on Seth Meyers? Maybe when you're Googling that. Speaking of things to find, you know how yesterday I was watching darts?
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Telling you about how I watched darts and they killed a wasp with darts. Is that him? And that mourns the loss. His dog's name was Frisbee, the original OG IG who is happy to go gray with him. Oh, so sweet. But he ran that thing out there one last time in it. At least I hope he didn't. Oh, he was tiny. He was a little. I think it was a whippet.
Byron
I'm thinking of another guy that I had, a full sizer.
John Holmberg
A dog was like a German shepherd leaping off its back.
Byron
It was like a. A border collie.
John Holmberg
Was he a Chihuahua? I don't know. Huh. Anyway, spin and Terry are now my new favorite halftime show. This guy says it's a lame nickname. Probably a bowler or something. Now all we care about about this email is like, what the. Which one do you spin? And if it's the girl? How in the hell, as a man, do you spell Terry with an I and not change that you. If you're the dude. If you're Terry the dude, change that to a Y. Terry with an eye is a woman. Maybe you don't care. Maybe Brady's right. Maybe it's a. I don't know. Maybe it's JG Ask any tuna you happen to meet. What's the Best chicken. Chicken of the sea. Anyway, I was watching that dart thing, and that guy killed that wasp with a dart a couple days ago. So my tv, that's what last thing I watched that night. My TV was off when I turned it back on. On this. I don't even know what channel this is. It's a Sky Sports. Like, it's a. Like the. It's Sky Sports. The ocho is their thing. Kenyan bullfighting. I'm in. It's almost made me want to go to Kenya. First off, they don't even have, like.
Byron
Aren't they the bulls that have, like, different sets of horn?
John Holmberg
I didn't pay attention to the anatomy of the bulls. They don't even have a stadium for this. People with bulls just run to a park. It's televised in Kenya. They run to a park and they just fight the bulls. Not the people they found out. They collide. No, they just kind of wrestle and then, like, bang into each other. And then if one escapes, the one that's still there, like, if one drives the other out of the thing, there's no pen.
Byron
It's like roosters. Because the males probably fight each other.
John Holmberg
You're thinking like, in a. In like a circle, and everybody's watching. Imagine if during the baseball game, the crowd just milled around on the field because the Kenyans are all over the place. And they don't do anything. They just run around. And the bulls have no interest in the Kenyans at all. None, much like the rest of the world. So they're. They're kind of just hanging. And then, like, bulls will show up and they bang into each other at the side. They get a little pissed and they'll, like, move people, like, get out of the way. I got to kill that bull. And they. And the bulls just kind of like almost just bang into each other, not pounding heads. Like you'd think, oh, this is it. And the canyons just chase them around these giant fields until one takes off and stops like. Like bowing up. And the canyons lose their minds. And they're all in, like, you know, 20, 24 Kansas City Chiefs world champs shirts. And like, they're. All of them are soccer jerseys that evidently Europe does it too. I don't know who's won the last cup. They got the. They got the losers jerseys on, like, pulisic and all this stuff that they've got all these fake soccer jerseys. It's awesome.
Byron
When I get those bull fighting things on Instagram, I've seen a couple where it's looks like, it's in Africa. There's another one in like.
John Holmberg
Why does it look like it's in Africa, Brady?
Byron
Because it was like a Saharan.
John Holmberg
It looked like there's that one. And they did the bulls, like Maryville too. Maryvale bullfight.
Byron
And they do like the. The bulls would do almost like an Oklahoma drill.
John Holmberg
No, these weren't. They don't mention. You can't control them. They're in an open field. If you just took them over to like Kiwanis park and then just said, all right, everybody's just run. There's no like, boundary. There's no pen. They stay in. There's no. Just a bunch of Kenyans running around with the bulls. And then the bulls occasionally notice the other bull and they get mad at each other and they like do side hooks. And then like one's gonna hit them for like T bone each other. That's kind of a pun. Didn't mean it.
Byron
And they decide when it's over. The bulls.
John Holmberg
The bulls. And then one just runs off. And I'm like, you guys need that. That's food. Like, I thought, like, you got three giant grocery stores standing there fighting each other. Kenyans. Kenyans are giant grocery stores. The Kenyans are. Or not the Kenyans. The bulls. What are you talking about? Giant groceries? Come on. Gargantuan. I'll say. Large. I mean, you know how many cuts of meat are on there? Could feed that whole crowd. And I don't know. The bulls, right? You say the Kenyans.
Brett Vesely
No.
Byron
Come on.
John Holmberg
Oh, there's no cuts of meat off the canyon. They're just running marathons the whole time. But these guys, it was awesome. Kenyan bull fighting was incredible. I have to. If you guys want, I'll send you the clip. It's just outstanding. I was laughing the whole time. I'm like, wow. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. And it was on again. So I got two sports now in two days. Like, I'm big into the darts now, but I don't know how to find them. Got to find them online. And everything I'm watching is old stuff. And I think I got. I think I got spoiled in my first dart watching championship tournament when the dude killed the wasp in midair. I'm never going to see that again. So it's. Now it's just guys playing darts. That's boring unless you've got. They need to make it a challenge where you're killing bugs. Darts is boring unless they're hitting moving objects. Now we're cooking Mary Effing Holidays from.
Announcer
The Big Red Radio 98 Kupda. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. All right, as you probably already know, we've got the big Holmberg After Dark show this Friday, December 12th. An amazing list of guests will be a part of it all. You're not going to want to miss this one, but you better get those tickets fast because this one sells out. Holmberg after dark Friday, December 12th at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.
Brett Vesely
Brett Vesely for Game Day Men's Health. Well, as a lot of you guys know, I had a ton of personal stuff to deal with lately, which means I wasn't even thinking about taking care of myself. Game Day Men's Health is the largest men's health clinic in the valley with 12 convenient locations. They know what us guys are going through and can get you started on a game plan of your own. They specialize in TRT treatment and they even offer other men's health solutions like HGH peptide treatment, medical weight loss, and sexual health treatments. Check them out online@gamedaymenshealth.com it's time to start taking care of yourself. And for guys, there's no better place to start than Gameday Men's Health.
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. But Kenyan bull fighting. Get on it because they don't hurt the bulls at the end. The bulls are fine. And I'd have figured in Africa because that's just the way I was raised, is that you got a bull, you got a meal, and they're playing with their food. I don't know. That's just dumb. I mean, if they've had bulls the whole time in Kenya, we can pretty much stop that. Do you want to donate to the Feed Africa? Get the hell out of here. I'm done with that. I've seen bulls. They actually play with them. They, they, they have fun with them. And I don't hear anybody email me, go, well, bull is not the one you eat. My. I don't know the difference, but yes, it is. If I'm Kenyan, I'm eating a bull. Absolutely. You can't do it. But yeah, so get on that. Because it is a. It is crazy fun to watch. And I don't even understand, like, I don't know the goal and I don't know how the rules started, but if you have a bull and another guy's got a bull, all of Kenya finds out about it. And they run to the middle of Kenya and they just run around next to each other for a little bit and it's over. It's crazy. I think I was watching more for just how happy the Kenyans were.
Announcer
Because.
John Holmberg
You know what I never see on TV unless it's a marathon here in the States? Happy Kenyans. I've never seen, like, let's take a look. It's never been a show on Fox. Let's go to the happy Kenyans talking about, well, that's just that they're oiled up. That's India.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And that's just for the king. They're not going to eat those over there.
Byron
It's the original Indian wrestling.
John Holmberg
Leg wrestling.
Byron
Kind of. They lock. I mean, how do they know to lock up?
John Holmberg
And I don't know. They're just pushing on each other's heads. You haven't. You haven't lived till you've seen the Kenyans just set them free and then run around and make them kind of bang into each other. It's nuts. This one says, hey, John, ever since you came out as a money hungry gay Jew, in the addition of Brett to the show, it's been awesome. Well, thank you. I agree with that.
Byron
I'll say that.
John Holmberg
Answer to answer Spin and Terry's question. When I came out as a homosexual Jew, a burden was. Well, I was also money hungry. Incredibly. Yeah. It show leapt to another level. And then Brett got here and the money hungry gay Jew Brady and Brett were. Maybe it all changed when that drunk guy emailed me and called me a poor man's Howard Stern. And I called me a Jew cuck. And that's when I said, you know, sir. And I became Jewish that day and also homosexual. Just to get away with pretty much everything. You can't in this day and age. The smart thing to do is just claim you're all of it. And then when somebody goes, I can't believe you said that. I'm like, it's okay. I'm one of them. And nobody can take that from you anymore. They set their own trap. You're transgender. Hey, don't you question my life. And like, oh, Jesus, I'm in a pit. I did this to myself. The lunatics who went totally woke didn't realize they had made it easier for us jerks to just do anything we want. Like, they tried to make speech illegal. And what they did was, you can't question anybody for feeling the way they feel. I'm like, all right, well, then I'm a gay Jew, trans. And I can say anything I want. The only thing I can't be is black, because that's visual. But if I identify as whatever, if it's just a pick and choose, if I can just reach into a hat and that's what I am that day, okay, then I can say whatever I want.
Brett Vesely
You can identify as black.
John Holmberg
No, that's a dangerous one.
Brett Vesely
I don't want to go to.
John Holmberg
Pulled it off. She got in trouble for that.
Byron
For a limited time.
John Holmberg
Until you can't. Yeah, I can identify as trans, gay, Jew all day long just because. And the Jewish people love it. Because he's like, go get them. Because I speak for them. A lot of the times for the jerks that start screaming, I'm Jesus. I take the slings and arrows for the. For the real Jews while these idiots scream and yell at me, you're this. That. That dude was so mad at me. All I've heard from you is that you're. He didn't listen to the show, and that was that. Okay? That was my. In 25 years, that was my favorite moment of the show was when that dude that tried to get me fired and called me a. What do you call me? A poor man's Howard Stern. And if I got my. And if I'm right, you. You Gilbert goon. Yeah, you certainly have the liberal. What does it call me? Big nose liberal, Biden loving cuck Jew. Yeah. Jew knows that. Was it Juneau's liberal, Biden loving cuck, Howard Stern, Howard Stern wannabe. You got it down pat. I'm like, all right, I'll be all those things. That was a great day. And then a year later, he emailed back to apologize and said he was a drunk. And that was my favorite day because I didn't accept his apology. I went. I went on. I went in and one last apology doubled down on why if you're an alcoholic and you did that, you just cut me out of that list. AA isn't going to be mad at you for that. Did you apologize to the disc jockey you never met that you tried to get fired for a while? No. They probably fire up an email. I bet he's pretty nice about it. And I was horrible. That was. That in my life is my favorite thing that's ever happened. That's my favorite. You go eat, you alcoholic, drunken loser. I'm apologizing because I don't drink anymore. You'll be back on the bottle before you know it. You're a dickhead. And you're like, you're not a happy man. You need alcohol. Cheers. Yeah, cheers. I'm gonna go have a drink in your honor. I hope your liver falls out. Because just a year earlier, he was blaming alcohol, but boy, he was pretty together. Calling advertisers. I don't like him. I speak for the community, my girl. No, he was horrible picture like old school Foster Brooks. I'm not. You know what? You're a gay Jew. Like, wow, this guy is. And he was the one that was standing up for the rights of people. He was mad that I had made fun of, which was the Gilbert Goudens moms. And I don't know how you get away with saying what you say. And it's terrible. This and that. You hook nose, Jew, gay. Like, wait a minute. You can't go down that road after telling me that I've said something offensive. You watch. You. You'll get yours some days. Dear Mr. Holmberg, a year later, I look back at my behavior and I'm very ashamed. And hopefully you'll accept my apology. And oh, no, you now, this one says Brett. Enough of the gay questions from Spin and Terry. What guest had the best cans over the last 25 years? Ooh, there you go. Are we off the air forever? This is just our last day this year. What are we doing this retrospective for? Thanks, Spin and Terry. But now I'm interested to know. Oh, there's no questions. The best cans. Well, oh, man. Had some good cans.
Byron
My personal favorite couple of those St. Paulie girls. That can.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we had a few of those that were pretty good. Yeah. Every year the St. Paulie girls came in for no reason. And you think forgot about that.
Byron
The hand the crown over to, you know, take that away.
John Holmberg
The lady that shot milk on me on August 5, 2005.
Byron
Those would be the most memorable.
John Holmberg
That's pretty memorable. And they were nice.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Carmen Luvana was a porn star that came in with Jesse Jane and they promoted some Pirate island movie.
Byron
Oh, yeah. Pirates of the wasn't like a take off.
John Holmberg
Come on. I didn't go for the story. I just knew they were pirates. It was when she came in. Pirates. That's right. Rich remembers. Carmen Luvana was there and they had an after party at the Biltmore and she asked if I wanted to go to that. And I got scared because I didn't. I was scared of her. Those were nice. Jennifer Tilly was in here. I was Just gonna say that.
Brett Vesely
That was pretty good.
John Holmberg
Brady made her feel real. Well, you have bad memory. He doesn't like. He made Jennifer Tilly call him creepy.
Byron
What? What'd you do?
John Holmberg
Because he got Brady. You remember? You know, Brady gets a little daffy duck around hot girls and starts trapping them and stuff. He had a few, though.
Byron
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You hadn't seen the move. And bound. And you were looking pretty. And she looked at him and she goes, wow, you're creepy. I'm like, wow, Brady's the one that's going too far. She didn't like you.
Byron
We all just the random. The first comment she'd been, no, it.
John Holmberg
Was the whole time.
Byron
And it was the one like, oh, he's chiming in.
John Holmberg
That's not what happened at all. Not even close. He was creepy from jump. He was a. You were a little. You were too anxious to meet Jennifer Tilly, and she was very pretty, but you got very anxious and a lot. You had a. You had a lot of energy. I remember it because I'm like, all right. And then she. And then you were going back and forth with her, and I'm talking with her, and then Brady had said something that was. And then she thought you were the creepy one.
Byron
Who's this guy?
John Holmberg
No, it wasn't. Who's this guy? She had known you the whole time she walked in, she's like, your energy was very. I'm in. I'm in. You give me an opening on I'm in. That was what I felt. It was pretty. Same with. Where he doesn't read the room with. What's her name? The girl that Brit. What was her name? Just turned into the porn star that came in. B.B. jones. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When Brady didn't realize. Yeah. He ruined Larry's life. And I know. I know, Larry, nothing's gonna happen, but you really wrecked it. Nothing special happening. If a guy's asking a girl for a phone number and then the next guy goes, give it to me too. And it's like, well, this just is over. It was a huge C block, and it was hilarious. And Larry's like, there I am. And I got Brady leaning over my shoulder. Yeah, me too. I got food at home. I'm trying to get this girl to go out. I got food at my house. You're gonna go out with Larry for food? You should come to my house. I got food. I'll feed you. I got a restaurant. Larry's like, okay. I'm trying to get her to go out with me.
Byron
I love barbecue. Yeah.
John Holmberg
I bet you do. I got two. Who Move, Larry. I got a ton of barbecue. Here's my card. Here's my number. Don't waste your time with Locky over here. He's camp. He's not gonna get you anything. You want to eat. I got tons of that. Give me your number too. Let's just hand your number to everybody. It was great, but that was. That was the same energy with her that you had with Jennifer Tilly. And that's why Jennifer Tilly called you creepy. And I laughed for about an hour because it was awesome. Yeah, those words. She had the. I think B.B. jones and Jennifer Tilly. Best can't stands to answer that question. Anyway, I don't know the.
Byron
The girl that came in with B.B. jones. So. Charlie Sheen.
John Holmberg
Oh, on that Valentine's Day, pretty solid. Yeah, she was cute. I don't remember. She was a. Like a C list porn star. And we did the. The Dating Game and Larry lost that, man. I can't catch a break in the other room. He's answering all the questions. Loses the baiting game, man. Ironically, Larry did win the Dating Game, but Brady took the date. Anyway.
Byron
We had a good time.
John Holmberg
Let me head out on the. Brady just showed up. I heard you guys are gonna be here. I thought it was Rhodesio Grill. We'll get our windshields replaced. Let's have a seat. Party three, please. Brady, what are you doing here? Come on, you're not going anywhere. Might as well liven it up. Yeah, Brady, he was in the middle of a move and Brady goes, me too. Oh, my God. He's third wheeling and he's killing it. I heard the first four numbers of that phone number. Don't you? Hand me the last three. Let's make this official. It was a good one. Anyway, thanks, Ben and Terry, for making us go down memory lane. I didn't want to do that. I don't know why that happened. I'm still really confused.
Byron
Any of those divas. You know what?
John Holmberg
I've almost always been disappointed in the divas. That English girl that came in here last year was pretty good.
Brett Vesely
She was the guy from falling in.
John Holmberg
Her guy from falling in Reverse. Yeah, she was pretty. The divas have always come in and I'm like, what was the one that. John Cena or. It wasn't John Cena. They. He had to go to the bathroom and call his wife because.
Byron
No, that was.
John Holmberg
That was the.
Byron
Sean. No, not Sean.
John Holmberg
I remember who it was, but yeah, he had to leave and go call his wife in the bathroom.
Byron
Because was it Jericho?
John Holmberg
I don't remember who it was, but it was very bad. And it had just broken that the two that were touring were also having sex together. And they were in our studio and his wife was like all over. Like she found out. Oh, man. Oh, that was a pretty good one. They came back. We're real professional about it. She was beautiful. She was very pretty. Yeah. Anyway, thanks, folks. It's been a pleasure. Well, we're closing it up. I'm gonna go ahead and take all the winter off. Now. Let's get a wake up song. The last one of the year. 585-9-800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD, wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.
Byron
It's Brady from hms. And I would always hear guys talk about their testosterone levels, but I didn't know much more than that. That changed when I went to the Game Day men's health clinic and found out what my testosterone level was. Gameday's lab was quick and easy. And I found out that I was an ideal candidate for testosterone treatment. Game Day offers other men's health solutions like hgh, peptide therapy and sexual health treatments. All you have to do is visit one of the 12 game day men's health clinics in the valley or check out gamedaymen's health.com. it's time to get back in the game.
John Holmberg
Come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal.
Announcer
Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.
Ranch House Grill Announcer
Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pM We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix. At 56th street and Thomas Road.
Date: December 17, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Theme: Reflecting on 25 years of the show, answering listener emails about when the show peaked, and sharing personal and show highlights (plus a detour into the world of Kenyan bullfighting).
The hosts gather for the last HMS show of 2025. Listener emails ask the big questions: “When did the show peak?” “Did it ever really suck?” The crew goes down memory lane, discussing highs, lows, and standout moments—both heartfelt and hilarious. John waxes poetic about pandemic radio, listener relationships, and… gets obsessed with televised Kenyan bullfighting. The episode is full of candid banter, irreverence, and fond reminiscing, in classic HMS style.
Prompted by another irreverent email, crew discuss the most memorable, attractive, or “best cans” guests.
| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 01:25 | Show opens, holiday/vacation banter | | 07:58 | Read & respond to Spin & Teri’s email | | 12:08 | COVID year: “probably the best/show’s hardest year” | | 15:34–16:34 | The show’s 9/11 origin and adversity moments | | 17:49 | Joking about imposter complex/surviving bosses | | 24:36 | John on Kenyan bullfighting | | 29:25 | Reflection on happy Kenyans and cultural TV | | 31:02–35:01 | Letter from/to the angry listener, “favorite moment”| | 36:14–41:02 | “Best cans” and favorite guest memories |
“I think the best ever in 25 years, I think it was the COVID year, to be honest. That was the hardest one, and it was the one where it was like: Wow...We had nothing. And we just had to come in here.” (12:08)
“Kenyan bull fighting was incredible. I have to—if you guys want, I’ll send you the clip. It’s just outstanding. I was laughing the whole time...there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it.” (27:29)
“In 25 years, that was my favorite moment of the show was when that dude that tried to get me fired...called me a poor man’s Howard Stern...And then a year later, he emailed back to apologize...and I didn't accept his apology.” (31:02)
Summary: This episode distills everything listeners love about HMS: nostalgic moments, hilarious asides, listener interaction, raw honesty, and a signature Arizona radio edge—with just enough randomness (Kenyan bullfighting!) to keep even casual listeners grinning.