12-18-25 - Al Gore's Time Travel Future Game - BO

Summary

Episode Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – "Al Gore's Time Travel Future Game"

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98KUPD
Episode Title: Al Gore’s Time Travel Future Game
Air Date: December 18, 2025
Main Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo (“Grant”), Guest voices (Al Gore, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, “W”)

---

Episode Overview

This episode is a classic, chaotic segment featuring the show's cast riffing as celebrity impersonations, most notably “Al Gore,” “Bill Clinton,” and “W.” They play a satirical game called “Al Gore’s Time Travel Future Game,” where “Gore” uses his invented time machine to paint bizarre, bleak, and darkly comedic visions of the climate-changed future, and listeners must guess the city he’s describing. The banter blends environmental doom, pop culture gags, and adult humor in the signature irreverent style of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Premise: Al Gore’s Climate Time Machine (04:10–06:12)

• “Al Gore,” now single and out of the political spotlight, claims to have invented a machine that lets him see the future impact of climate change.
• He brings “Bill Clinton” and other former presidents along for the ride, lamenting no one wants to hear his doom-and-gloom predictions.
• The game: Gore describes an apocalyptic future city devastated by climate change, listeners call in and guess the location.

Notable Quote:

"I have invented a machine that takes me into my machine, into the future. I can see into the future of climate change. I will describe what I'm looking at, you tell me what city I'm in.”
— Al Gore (05:10)

---

2. Climate Change Satire and the Contest

• “Gore” spins dire scenarios: underwater cities, snakes and sharks replacing residents, iconic landmarks submerged, and surreal causes for ecological collapse.
• Frequent running gag: “Nobody wants to hear about this,” as Gore’s warnings are met with indifference, mockery, or bored resignation.
• The cast and listeners banter about cars, masculinity, and how “nobody cares” about the climate crisis.

Memorable Segment:
Paris in 2032, underwater and infested by sea creatures.

"A magnetic city of lights draws travelers looking across the Eiffel Tower. But it is underwater. And I'm ravaged by snakes and sharks because of the melted polar ice caps."
— Al Gore (06:12)

• Answers alternate between predictable and absurd, e.g., Paris, Africa, New York, each scenario paired with dark jokes.

---

3. Absurd Future Visions & Adult Humor

Highlights Include:

• Female anatomy “closed up” due to wind turbines (06:01–06:08).
• All SUVs underwater, with only sharks left in flooded opera houses (07:01–07:10).
• “Dead aborigines” and didgeridoos as clues for Australia (07:11–07:30).
• “Clinder” – Clinton’s version of Tinder, only with women in berets (10:12–10:27).

Notable Quotes:

"In future, decent puss doesn't exist. Climate change has closed all of the female body parts into just big Barbie doll types nested by wind turbines."
— Al Gore (05:59–06:08)

"You got more puts than a Bengal tiger on that thing. Just swipe left, they'll show up in five minutes."
— Grant, on Clinton’s app “Clinder” (10:03)

---

4. Callers Interact: Jokes About Cars and Climate

• Listeners like Steve and Jason join the banter; topics include pickup trucks' poor mileage, lack of local ice caps, and using wind energy (08:09–13:56).
• Extended riffing on vehicle choices as metaphors for environmental virtue or lack thereof; Camrys and Scions are praised, Cummins trucks mocked.
• “Global warming” scenarios escalate—New York turned into a sea of floating hobos and hookers, the Lincoln Memorial submerged.

Memorable Exchange:

"You're just peeking filth into the air and killing birds on a daily basis."
— Al Gore, to a caller describing his Dodge truck (08:31)

"Meanwhile, you're smoking just about every animal that exists on the planet. So you're not helping at all. You're going the opposite."
— Al Gore to Brady, ribbing about his car (14:06)

---

5. Character-Driven Banter & Running Gags

• Fake Clinton plugs his dating app, “Slick Willie’s app,” and "Clinder."
• Gore repeatedly references his “single swinging dick” status post-Tipper, with Bill Clinton as his wingman on college campuses.
• “W” struggles with technology (selfies, vending machines) for comic effect (07:51, 14:56).
• Razor-sharp, raunchy humor permeates—fat jokes, sexual innuendo, and over-the-top self-deprecation.

Notable Quotes:

"Now that I'm a single swinging dick."
— Al Gore (03:03)

"You people are decent human beings. Do you have wind energy in your home?"
— Al Gore (13:45–13:48)

---

Memorable Moments by Timestamp

• 04:10: Al Gore introduces the “Future Game” concept.
• 06:12: Gore describes future Paris, now underwater.
• 07:01: Gore paints a bleak picture of a drowned world.
• 08:28: Listener Jason’s Dodge truck gets roasted for its environmental impact.
• 10:12: Clinton’s “Clinder” app joke peaks.
• 11:22: Grant proposes “Jobless Girls Gone Wild”—a riff on economic and social collapse.
• 13:46: Jason’s family cars (Scion and Camry) get environmental approval.
• 14:06: Gore mocks Brady’s polluting car.

---

The Episode’s Tone & Style

The tone is relentlessly satirical, proudly tasteless, and unapologetically brash—taking aim at climate change, American consumerism, and the former presidents’ legacies, all filtered through the filter of juvenile, testosterone-fueled radio humor. Nothing is sacred and every potential punchline (or groaner) is live.

---

Conclusion

This episode is a wild, rapid-fire send-up of both climate activism and political celebrity, built around a mock game show format. The real secret is in the chemistry of the cast and their absurd, sometimes shocking improvisation—skewering everything from climate change panic to masculinity to washed-up politicians clinging to relevance. For fans of irreverent, no-holds-barred radio, it’s a signature slice of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness.

---

Notable Quotes Recap

• Al Gore:
  “Roomies. It’s better than my… I mean, look, he’s better looking than the woman I was rooming with. Hillary’s hideous.” (02:55)
• Grant:
  “You got more puts than a Bengal tiger on that thing.” (10:03)
• Al Gore:
  “In future, decent puss doesn’t exist. Climate change has closed all of the female body parts…” (05:59)
• Bill Clinton:
  “Right Out.” (03:58)
• W:
  “I was coaxing the Coke machine. Take my dollar.” (15:00)

---

For listeners who missed the mayhem:
This episode is an energetic jumble of character bits, pointed climate jokes, and the usual HMS irreverence—turning doom-and-gloom into radio schtick with plenty of laughs and a healthy dose of cringe.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Maddie Akupd]

The best of homework's morning sickness. I'm Maddie Akupd.

[Al Gore]

Well, this isn't an appropriate song at all, is it? This is almost mean.

[Eric]

Maybe he has an announcement. That's true.

[Al Gore]

I didn't even think of that. I don't.

[Bill Clinton]

I don't think that'll happen.

[Eric]

But he wouldn't have any problems funding his campaign?

[Al Gore]

No, he's doing all right financially, I don't think. I think that when you've made 400 billion dol. I'm scaring the hell out of everybody that being present's really a good idea. Let's see.

[Grant]

I maybe.

[W]

I don't know.

[Al Gore]

Maybe he's going to come in. Come on in here. He's brought a friend with him. Oh, no. Let's have him in. Ladies and gentlemen, former vice president and leading authority on global warming, Mr. Al Gore. Come on in here, Al.

[Brady]

Daddy.

[Bill Clinton]

Happy B day, Al.

[Al Gore]

Great to be here.

[Bill Clinton]

67 today.

[Al Gore]

Looking good. Students are always talking about me as.

[Brady]

They drive around in their Priuses. And I just get so excited coming back to Asda.

[Al Gore]

You seeing all that Asian puss now that Tipper and I aren't together anymore?

[Bill Clinton]

Where the hell have you been?

[Al Gore]

Well, I've been hanging out on college campuses, trying to tell kids they're all dying. Nobody wants to hear it. Nobody wants to hear old Al.

[Bill Clinton]

You're out of the spotlight, that's for sure.

[Al Gore]

So I'm trying to deliver a little wham th to the meat crew, if you know what I'm saying. Let kids know that those polarized cats are melting. And you know what that means. Polar bears are having to swim to your House.

[Brady]

Portland.

[Al Gore]

So get used to it.

[Brady]

They're on their way.

[Eric]

I just saw there's swarms of flies. Flies in Alaska now because the temperatures are so warm.

[Al Gore]

It's warming. It flies in Alaska mainly because Sarah.

[Brady]

Palin's up there and she doesn't clean herself properly. Let's be honest.

[Al Gore]

She's disgusting. Driving around her SUV and honking up the air with their emissions and trouble and shooting guns and coyotes.

[Bill Clinton]

Any big announcements today?

[Al Gore]

I don't have any announcements. It's kind of mean.

[Brady]

You guys play this? I've never really had this played for me at any given time.

[Grant]

Almost, though.

[Al Gore]

That's true. We almost.

[Brady]

Almost.

[Al Gore]

Made me present by accident.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Grant]

I always travel with Al. He's a party waiting to happen. He always hangs out at college campuses, which I love. And, of course, he's always scaring the hell out of these girls, which means afterwards, they need somebody to talk them back down. That's why I come along.

[Eric]

You guys rooming together now?

[Jason]

What?

[Al Gore]

Roomies.

[Grant]

It's better than my. I mean, look, he's better looking than the woman I was rooming with. Hillary's hideous.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[Al Gore]

Now that I'm a single swinging dick.

[Brady]

And I like to get on the puss, Bill's teaching me how to get.

[Al Gore]

Around the college girls.

[Grant]

But you're such a downer. I mean, you're always talking about how everybody's dying, like everybody's gonna flood up and we're gonna get eaten by the wasps. Nobody wants to hear that. They say, I don't wanna have parties.

[Bill Clinton]

It's like the 90s all over again.

[Grant]

It is.

[Al Gore]

We're back. Shady's back.

[Eric]

Bill, are you excited that McDonald's is talking about serving breakfast all day long?

[Grant]

I am excited. Whenever McDonald's says we're open another hour.

[Al Gore]

That I could just get in here for a second. What the. I've been traveling around with Clinton.

[Grant]

I have, too.

[Eric]

Oh, man.

[Grant]

Traveling around with you and your son, making a big party out of the Bush family and me. That's because we're good friends.

[W]

I don't want to brag or anything, but we always travel together as former presidents and almost presidents.

[Bill Clinton]

Right Out.

[Eric]

You guys are in for spring training, aren't you?

[Brady]

I just can't shake that guy right there.

[Al Gore]

So we're here right now. It's a little warm, isn't it? You noticed how hot it's been this spring?

[Eric]

Is it part of it?

[Brady]

It's part of it.

[Bill Clinton]

It's called climate change now, isn't it?

[Al Gore]

It's not global soon because the climate is different. All of you be living with ravenous meat eating snakes.

[Grant]

See, that's what I'm talking about. Nobody wants to hear about this crap.

[Al Gore]

They will grow to great lengths because.

[Brady]

They'Re the only ones that can survive in such a climate. And they're gonna try to take all of your meals and your children and eat them.

[Al Gore]

Unless you buy wind power and solar energy.

[Brady]

And of course, trade in your SUVs for Priuses and Coopers.

[Eric]

So we could be eating coyotes?

[Grant]

That doesn't sound so bad. Really? Think about it. A coyote on good sandwich with some American fat sauce, little ranch dressing.

[Al Gore]

You know what I mean? Yes, you could eat coyotes, but more.

[Brady]

Than likely, with the climate change the way it is, coyotes will be eating you.

[Grant]

This is what I'm saying.

[W]

You are kind of a downer.

[Eric]

He's scared.

[W]

Yeah, this guy's not really an uplifting character.

[Bill Clinton]

So you guys have been traveling the world, huh? Seeing all types of different places.

[Al Gore]

I go everywhere. I've seen it all. And now I will get into my machine. I have invented a machine that takes me into my machine, into the future. And I can see into the future of climate change. And I will describe what I'm looking at. You tell me what city I'm in. In the city I stand in, the year when the machine spits it out, it'll tell me the year is 2032. And now I'm gonna stand in our city as, oh, my, what a glorious town. I recognize it already. Let's go the phones and see if anyone's here to help. Hi there.

[Brady]

Who's this?

[Jason]

Steve.

[Brady]

How are you, Steve?

[Grant]

I'm good. Hi, Steve. Sorry about the downer. He's real trouble. When's the last time you got decent puss?

[Al Gore]

Nobody wants to know about that. In future, decent puss doesn't exist.

[Brady]

What?

[Grant]

What?

[Al Gore]

Climate change has closed all of the.

[Brady]

Female body parts into just big Barbie doll types nested by wind turbines.

[Al Gore]

Look at where I am, Steve.

[Bill Clinton]

We can't look around the radio.

[Al Gore]

A magnetic city of lights draws travelers looking across the Eiffel Tower. But it is underwater. And I'm ravaged by snakes and sharks because of the melted polar ice caps.

[Jason]

Paris.

[Al Gore]

Paris is correct.

[Brady]

That's one.

[Al Gore]

Nice job, softball. Just wanted to see if you knew something.

[Eric]

So the frogs will be underwater?

[Brady]

All the frogs are dead, Brady.

[Byron]

Oh.

[Bill Clinton]

What year is it again?

[Grant]

That doesn't sound like such a bad thing. There is a good side to global warming. And there ain't no more freshmen.

[Bill Clinton]

American Fries?

[Grant]

They're just. They're just nothing but sea blockers.

[Brady]

Anyway.

[Grant]

They're smooth.

[Al Gore]

Here I am, standing in the year 2032 and all your SUVs are underwater.

[Brady]

As I look out at what used.

[Al Gore]

To be a beautiful opera house. And now it's just 38 foot sharks and dead bodies everywhere.

[Eric]

A sharknado.

[Brady]

Look, a didgeridoo. And a dead aborigine.

[Jason]

Ew.

[Brady]

Where am I?

[Bill Clinton]

Any ideas, Steve?

[Grant]

I don't know.

[Al Gore]

The opera house. Dead aborigines.

[Brady]

Didgeridoos. Africa. 38 foot sharks.

[Jason]

Africa.

[Al Gore]

Africa's incorrect.

[Maddie Akupd]

Merry effing holidays from The Big Red Radio 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Eric's not helping here at all.

[Al Gore]

So long, Steve.

[Eric]

W just fell off the couch trying to take a selfie.

[W]

I was trying to get this thing up, man. This makes you dizzy holding the phone overhead like that. How do you get this thing to turn around?

[Eric]

Shaking off that selfie stick.

[Al Gore]

Jason's on the phone.

[Brady]

How are you, Jason?

[Jason]

I'm doing very well.

[Brady]

When's the last time you had decent purse?

[Jason]

I can find you some puss.

[Brady]

It's now that Tipper's gone. I'm still alone. I'm just a swinging dick out on the town.

[Grant]

I'm trying to change it, but he is depressing, I'll tell you that.

[Al Gore]

Jason.

[Grant]

That is for sure. Jason, what kind of car do you drive?

[Jason]

A Cummins.

[Grant]

A what?

[Jason]

Dodge 2500 Cummins.

[Brady]

Oh, about seven miles to a gallon.

[Al Gore]

You're just peeking filth into the air and killing birds on a daily basis.

[Jason]

But I look like a man, Mr. Gore.

[Al Gore]

Is that more important?

[Grant]

I'm a Mayan.

[Al Gore]

Surviving. Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean, men don't care about the environment. That's proof of that.

[Grant]

He's right about that, Al. Nobody cares about this garbage you spill.

[Brady]

You don't care about fracking or polarized caps.

[Jason]

Well, we live in Arizona, so there's no ice anywhere, so that's prob.

[Grant]

He's got you there, Al. You're screwed. This guy's brilliant. I shouldn't be vice president. That is a lot more fun.

[Al Gore]

Look at where I'm standing in the year 2032. Buckeye helmets floating down the Olentangy River.

[Brady]

There's Brady's mom and dad rowing down.

[Al Gore]

Through the Victoria's Secret national headquarters. Giant eels and snakes are the only residents of this town in Ohio. France, France.

[Bill Clinton]

Ohio, France. Ohio.

[Al Gore]

France is incorrect.

[Bill Clinton]

This town in Ohio.

[Brady]

France.

[Grant]

Maybe it's better more people died out. Think about it. We'd get rid of all these idiots who think. Look, if you think the polar ice caps melt, we get flooded, and these folks find their way out, you're wrong. So only the smart survive. It's almost better if we flood them out.

[Bill Clinton]

Might have a point there, Mr. President.

[Brady]

Bill wants me to plug his new app.

[Grant]

Do it.

[Brady]

Slick Willie's app. You can get it at itunes stores.

[Grant]

You got more puts than a Bengal tiger on that thing. Just swipe left. They'll show up in five minutes.

[Bill Clinton]

That's already been done, hasn't it, Mr. President?

[Grant]

I don't know. I like Clinton Tinder. It's Clinder.

[Eric]

Oh, boy.

[Grant]

Swipe left.

[Bill Clinton]

It's all girls.

[Grant]

There isn't even an option to swipe right. A fat girl, skinny girls. Whatever's on there, it'll do you.

[Bill Clinton]

It's all girls in berets.

[Grant]

Chicks and berets. Blue dresses. Look like they had babies, but they haven't.

[Brady]

All right, you're losing people.

[Grant]

I'm not. You're losing people. Nobody wants to hear your crap, Grant.

[Brady]

That's not true. You care about the environment, don't you, Grant?

[Jason]

I do. And happy birthday, Al. Thanks for the Internet.

[Al Gore]

Finally somebody says happy birthday. And thank you properly because I invented the Internet.

[Bill Clinton]

That was very nice of you.

[Al Gore]

I did it with wind and solar.

[Brady]

Power, and you guys are ruining it by plugging it in.

[Al Gore]

Are you ready, Grant?

[Brady]

What kind of car do you have, Grant? Is it an suv?

[Jason]

No, it's a Toyota Camry.

[Brady]

Toyota Camry.

[Bill Clinton]

That's not too bad.

[Al Gore]

That's better.

[Brady]

You don't look much like a man, though. I'll say that. That is true. Do you get any puss in that car?

[Jason]

I'm married, so not really.

[Brady]

Nope. You're out.

[Grant]

Yeah, I know how that is. Never stopped me, but I know how it is.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Grant]

By the way, I started another thing. I'm doing a lot of videos around the world as Al travels with me and doing jobless girls going wild. There's a lot of people out there that don't have work.

[Al Gore]

They just stand in DES lines.

[Grant]

They'll do anything for money, I bet. Go over to the DES with a camera and say he for five bucks or a sandwich or something, he showed me them tea toss and I'm going to give you some money. And these chicks are starving for cash.

[Al Gore]

In the DES line. It's American again. This is not the way to do it. All right, here we go.

[Brady]

Good luck.

[Al Gore]

Look where I am in the year.

[Brady]

2032 Hobos and hookers are Floating right here where Dick Clark used to sit every New Year's Eve.

[Brett Vesely]

New York City.

[Al Gore]

Close enough. Had to throw another softball out there. The last guy screwed me.

[Bill Clinton]

Probably a good idea.

[Brady]

Good luck to you in the next one.

[Bill Clinton]

Where are you heading now, Al?

[Al Gore]

I'm heading off in my machine to someplace else. Here we are in the new place.

[Brady]

Well, there's a little point sticking out of the water as this town's flooded completely.

[Al Gore]

Tiny little point with lights on. It used to be some type of monument. And there's dead Lincoln.

[Brady]

He floats around just a giant statue of a man. Used to mean everything to this country.

[Al Gore]

But now he lives underwater with sharks and eels. Floating dead black people all over the place.

[Grant]

And look.

[Jason]

Washington D.C. wow, there's the flu.

[Al Gore]

Wasn't the monuments. No, no.

[Jason]

It was a black people.

[Al Gore]

The floating black people.

[Brady]

Because heavily populated by the African American.

[Grant]

That's the truth.

[Brady]

All right.

[Al Gore]

Good luck to you.

[Brady]

One more and you're the champion. Are you ready?

[Jason]

Ready.

[Brady]

All right. I don't know if I could do that one.

[Al Gore]

Check it out.

[Brady]

I think I just tripped on something.

[Al Gore]

As I swam across the bay.

[Brady]

Oh, I sure did. It's a big orange bridge. That's pointless.

[Al Gore]

That's exactly.

[Bill Clinton]

How easy were those?

[Grant]

I had to give it to that guy. He was quick. A lot better than that dude who thought Ohio had a city called that.

[Jason]

Opera House one that was.

[Grant]

Of course it was.

[Eric]

Everybody for extra.

[Brady]

That's exactly right.

[Al Gore]

Now he's gotten four.

[Brady]

Right? Well, you're just amazing in your Toyota camera that gets 27 miles to the gallon.

[Al Gore]

Thank you for everything. You have a wife?

[Brady]

What kind of car does your wife have?

[Jason]

Scion.

[Brady]

You people are decent human beings.

[Al Gore]

Do you have wind energy in your home?

[Jason]

No, but we just open the the door and let the breeze go by.

[Brady]

Isn't that marvel? It's just a better way to live.

[Al Gore]

And with global warming, it's gonna be 140 degrees in here. So these breezes at 100 are gonna feel nice soon.

[Brady]

Trust me.

[Al Gore]

Hold on, Eric.

[Brady]

You have a terrible car. Brady, your car just pukes. Fills in the air on a regular basis. Meanwhile, you're smoking just about every animal that exists on the planet. So you're not helping at all. You're going the opposite.

[Eric]

I use wind energy. My backside.

[Maddie Akupd]

All right, farts.

[Eric]

Thank you, Bill.

[Grant]

Who is this lady over here? She is, right?

[Brady]

That's Brady.

[Grant]

Oh, my God. You put on 10 more pounds. I got something I would seriously consider shoving stuff.

[Bill Clinton]

That's a boy over there.

[Brady]

What are you talking about.

[Grant]

Oh, my God. It just never ends. You guys are hilarious. Are you serious? I'm sorry, sir.

[Brady]

Just don't want to shove stuff in him.

[Grant]

Not as much as I did now. But he does have the proper build.

[Eric]

Why is w talking to the Coke machine?

[W]

Just talking to Coke machine. I wasn't talking to the Coke machine. I was coaxing the Coke machine. Take my dollar.

[Brady]

Nothing.

[W]

Then I realized it wasn't even dollars. Piece of newspaper.

[Brady]

That was pretty dumb. All right, let's get out of here. We're walking to our next radio station. Alternative lives.

[Al Gore]

Every single person that listens to that.

[Brady]

Station drives a Prius.

[Maddie Akupd]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[Brady]

He said fully erect.