12-18-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD - BO

Summary

---

Holmberg's Morning Sickness, 12-18-25: Podcast Summary

Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, brings its signature blend of irreverent, boundary-pushing comedy and candid discussion. John Holmberg, Brett Vesely, Brady Bogen, and Dick Toledo riff on holiday romance movies, boner pills, ball size, critter-capturing habits, gender dynamics at work, and a delightful parade of guest call-ins and voices. Even topics like Noah’s Ark, Michael Jackson’s “lost tapes,” and OJ Simpson’s porn stash get the HMS treatment. As always, expect the show’s unfiltered, sarcastic tone, rapid-fire banter, and playful “disturbance” of Arizona morning radio.

---

Key Segments & Insights

1. Riffing on Holiday Romance Movies

00:26 – 14:44

The Defense and Ridicule of “Hot Frosty”

• Brett recaps stumbling upon a Hallmark-style Christmas movie called Hot Frosty, mocking the absurd premise: a hot snowman comes to life and seduces Lacey Chabert.
• Brett: “It’s a fever dream for broads that a man comes to life... He’s all about her needs, cleaning the house and stuff. Hot Frosty.” (01:41)
• Byron jokes about the hypocrisy if men made a ‘sexy snow-woman’ fantasy: “They’d be so mad at us for that movie. That would be the worst.” (03:56)
• The crew riffs on how women’s “romantic” holiday movies are as objectifying as men’s, poking fun at Lacey Chabert’s endless Hallmark appearances: “She just couldn’t do it until a snowman came to life.”
• Fake “sequels” predicted: “Hot Frosty 2 – Like she broke up with the first snowman and had to get that first one melted.” (08:19)

Notable Quote:
“If dudes are like, all chicks suck... and we build a magic whore snow girl... they’d be so mad at us for that. But Hot Frosty gets made—double standard.”
— Brett Vesely (03:56)

Other Ridiculous Rom-Coms

• More Hallmark and Netflix rom-coms get lampooned, including “Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story,” which the guys suggest exists only to dupe “Swifties” into watching a fake Taylor Swift romance.
• Byron: “Although Donna Kelsey’s in it. She works at the diner.” (12:34)

---

2. The Great Ball Size & Praying Mantis Tangent

17:49 – 40:42

Discussing Average Testicle Size

• Banter explodes about “are my balls too big?” after an email. The crew measures, compares to ping pong balls, reflects on “ball lifts,” and even recalls infamous “sail” size sacks.
• Brett: “Maybe I’m housing a couple of beasts down south I don’t even know about.” (21:42)

Capturing Wild Animals & Roadkill

• Brady is revealed as the crew’s resident animal-captor—confessing to stopping his car for live critters (praying mantises, snakes) and even scooping roadkill, prompting mock horror from Brett.
• Byron: “You got a shovel in the car to scoop up roadkill?” (35:42)
• Brett: "You're a strange individual, but we love having you." (40:07)

Notable Quotes:
“You're gonna create a sociopath.”
— Brett Vesely to Brady, about feeding crickets to captive bugs on purpose (29:34)

“That's why I want you to free that for the praying mantis... Praying mantis, Brady's first off, because you're gonna make videos about it.”
— Byron (25:44)

---

3. Gender Roles & Bo’s Rant and Rave

43:05 – 53:14

Bo’s Argument: “Women Don’t Do Real Work at Work”

• Bo (call-in) delivers a comically tone-deaf, chauvinistic rant about women in the workplace, griping about being asked to lift water coolers and heavy boxes.

• Brett and callers pile on:

  • “Beau, that rant and rave was pathetic. It should have been called Bo’s piss and moan.” (46:18)
  • “Jessica: ‘Not only is Bo an idiot, he's an ass. I work in an office full of women, and we lift our own water jugs, thank you very much.’” (49:01)

• Bo is roundly roasted as both “idiot” and “puss,” with the panel concluding that using sex as a bargaining chip is just evidence men and women are equally manipulative.

---

4. Fake Celebrity Interview: Tila Tequila

53:14 – 61:10

• The ongoing “Johnny Midnight and the Ass” bit is an extended absurd, mock-interview full of raunchy jokes and confusion for Tila Tequila (impersonator), who gamely plays along about her schemes, blogs, and hypothetical hermaphrodite partners.
• “If I was whacking your website and I finished with a shot on your face, does that secret mean I'm gay?” (57:48)

---

5. The Brady Report: Spam, Giants, and Noah’s Ark

61:10 – 82:51

Spam, Sex, & Down Syndrome Brownies

• Brett laments Spam as poor-people food.
• Brady: "Did you ever have Spam when you were a kid?"
  Brett: "No, I had a father with a job." (65:06)

The Giant Skeleton Hoax & Noah’s Ark Debunked

• Brady reads a “news” story about giant skeletons in Nevada, crushed by Brett’s logic:
  “If in 1912 they found giant skulls, we’d have tested them by now… Stop reporting on this stuff and acting like there’s an argument back.” (69:26 – 74:42)
• Noah’s Ark stories get debunked with escalating exasperation and sarcastic fantasy-reconstruction: “The only reason man exists. The ginger warriors and the giant headed warriors of Las Vegas. Stop reporting on this stuff and acting like there’s an argument.” (76:03)
• Panel wraps on why none of these world-changing relics are ever saved, mocking Ark theme parks, and the lack of logic in biblical tales.

Notable Quote:
“The second you apply the Internet to Noah’s Ark, you realize, oh, I’m kind of stupid for buying it.”
— Brett Vesely (75:49)

---

6. Al Gore & Bill Clinton Drop By (Impressions & Callers)

86:33 – 99:56

• Fantastic mock guest appearances: “Al Gore” and “Bill Clinton” riff about climate change, college girls, Clinton’s new app “Clinder,” and the coming apocalypse.
• Gore: “Polar bears are having to swim to your house, Portland. So get used to it.”
• Clinton: “Bill’s teaching me how to get around the college girls. But you’re such a downer – talking about how everyone’s dying.”
• Listeners try to guess underwater cities in a climate-doomsday future.

---

7. The Great Gas Station Boner Pill Craze

101:49 – 128:54

• Viral “honey sex” packs – gas station boner pills – are revealed to actually work, with news stories supposedly warning college kids (who laugh it off and buy more).
• “Be careful, college kids – your erections and sexual pleasure will be 10 times bigger with these gas station things. Be careful. And maybe it is a different time because all your kids got so fat.” (102:11)
• The panel reflects (with glee and nostalgia) on using boner pills, debating the merits and dangers for young and old alike.
• Brett: “If you're cracking open TH this morning and your index finger and your middle finger are scooping out your three pills for the day to keep you alive, don't eat gas station wieners and don't take supplements that you got at the Kwik Trip unless you're not at all concerned about your blood pressure, which by the way, most of you aren't.” (104:36)
• Life advice: “Abuse yourself when your body’s in its prime. Wish I’d done more drugs, drank more, had more sex when I was younger.”
• Notable phrasing: “You know how hard AIDS is to catch? I was worried about AIDS and I wasn’t having sex with intravenous drug-using anal freaks.” (124:33)
• Final advice for youth: “Be more aggressive sexually. You regret not having more fun. That’s the biggest regret.” (127:16)

---

8. Entertainment Drill

131:21 – End

• Michael Jackson's Lost Tapes: Found in a San Fernando Valley storage unit, supposedly containing unreleased tracks like “Son of Thriller” (panel invents more parody song titles and abuses Michael’s legacy mercilessly).
• OJ Simpson’s Porn Collection Auction: Panel debates whether they’d buy OJ’s Penthouse stash and leftover magnum condoms—mainly for the novelty.
• Greatest Boy Bands: A silly rundown of greatest boy bands, predictably going off the rails.
• Lady Gaga’s Chart Record: Noted that she joins Michael & Janet Jacksons as the only artists with #1 hits in three decades.
• LFO “Summer Girls” Roast: Crew drones on ‘90s boy band lyrics and laments girls’ past musical taste.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “It’s a fever dream for broads that a man comes to life. He’s all about her needs, cleaning the house and stuff. Hot Frosty.”
  — Brett Vesely (01:41)

• “If dudes are like, all chicks suck... and we build a magic whore snow girl... they’d be so mad at us for that.”
  — Brett Vesely (03:56)

• “You're saying, look inside here. I'm gonna feed this thing. Would you like it if Kirby went to somebody else's house and they did the pinky mouse going into the snake?”
  — Brett Vesely to Brady (29:39)

• “Bo, that rant and rave was pathetic. It should have been called Bo’s piss and moan.”
  — Listener email (46:18)

• “If I was whacking your website and I finished with a shot on your face, does that secret mean I'm gay?”
  — The Ass (as interviewer to Tila Tequila) (57:57)

• “If in 1912 they found giant skulls, we’d have tested them by now… Stop reporting on this stuff and acting like there’s an argument.”
  — Brett Vesely (69:26)

• “The second you apply the Internet to Noah’s Ark, you realize, oh, I’m kind of stupid for buying it.”
  — Brett Vesely (75:49)

• “You're a strange individual, but we love having you.”
  — Brett Vesely on Brady's roadkill obsession (40:07)

• “If you're cracking open TH this morning and your index finger and your middle finger are scooping out your three pills for the day to keep you alive, don't eat gas station wieners and don't take supplements that you got at the Kwik Trip unless you're not at all concerned about your blood pressure, which by the way, most of you aren't.”
  — Brett Vesely (104:36)

• “Be more aggressive sexually. You regret not having more fun. That’s the biggest regret.”
  — Life advice from a 90-year-old, recounted by Brett (127:16)

---

Episode Structure & Flow

• Open: Bantering on “Hot Frosty” and chick flick hypocrisy
• Middle: Wild tangents, “rant & rave,” balls, animals, anti-logic debates
• Guest Segments: Satirical impressions, fake interviews, call-ins roasting Bo
• Peak Absurdity: Boner pills, health advice, ridiculous “Brady Report” stories
• Close: Entertainment news, irreverent fake news, and playful boy band rankings

---

The Holmberg’s Morning Sickness Takeaway

If you need a dose of Arizona’s purest morning sarcasm, unapologetic “guy talk,” and a masterclass in mocking pop culture and modern anxieties, this episode delivers in spades. No cow is sacred. The laughs are nearly non-stop, and the boundaries are always pushed—be it with references to romantic snowmen, gas station boner aids, or why you shouldn’t scoop dead animals off the road.

---

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Hot Frosty/Chick Flicks: 00:26 – 14:44
• Ball Size & Praying Mantis: 17:49 – 40:42
• Bo’s Chauvinist Rant: 43:05 – 53:14
• Tila Tequila Satire: 53:14 – 61:10
• The Brady Report/Myth Busting: 61:10 – 82:51
• Al Gore/Bill Clinton Impressions: 86:33 – 99:56
• Gas Station Boner Pills: 101:49 – 128:54
• Entertainment Drill & Boy Bands: 131:21 – end

---

For those who missed the show:
You’ll get the full flavor—equal parts cynical, insightful, and crude—of why Holmberg’s Morning Sickness owns Arizona mornings.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P.

[Byron]

Guns where he'll get a fair offer.

[Brett Vesely]

And he can rest easy knowing it's.

[Byron]

Not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state? Easy.

[Byron]

Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online.

[Brett Vesely]

It really that simple. There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of H's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. I didn't. It's not even. It has not been talked about at my home, but I turned the TV on the other day and it was on Hot Frosty.

[Byron]

What's that?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. Some Christmas movie that was on and it was paused. Hot Frosty Sounds like a porn. I was like, all right. That's what I thought at first, too. But it turns out it's a. It's a Christmas movie about some sort of sexy snowman come to life thing. I don't know. I didn't. I didn't read it. But that is something. Someone hit play on. It gauged interest in someone enough to not only do that, somebody thought it was a good enough script to make it because they realized there's an audience of women out there. Be like, yes, A snowman comes to life, and he's sexy and he's everything. I was like, this is the biggest pilot ever. And he's romantic. It's not like Weird Science where they built a whore out of a computer thing. And then she started to do, like, all sorts of jobs from. Hot Frosty just was. So it's Ryan Gosling walking. Yeah. And he also is the biggest pansy on the planet. He's the snowman. He's kind of naive. She gets to teach him how to be a man, which is just the opposite of what man.

[Byron]

I might have to catch this.

[Brett Vesely]

Hot Frosty. Well, I'm making it up as far as, like, what happened in Hot Frosty because I Didn't even read the synopsis. I saw the name Hocked Frosty and the picture of the guy and I'm like, Jesus, it's a fever dream for broads that a man comes to life. You know, it's Prince Charming stuff. And they never talk about it. He ride off into the sunset. Cause he's perfect. He's all about her needs and like he's cleaning the house and stuff. Hot frosty.

[Byron]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you've got the Tracy Chabert. Lacey Chabert's in everything. My life is a mess. Good things come to you when you're out in the cold. Kathy, magic scarf. Clearly you've been doing your push ups. You know what? And then somebody did a sculpted snowman. You keep it and the scarf brings them to life. And you know what's crazy about Terminator? There's no possible way that that sculpted snowman wasn't made by a gang. Want me to get behind you and push? Huh? On November 13th. Excuse me. Can I help you? This is Jack. I was a snowman. That's not good. The coveralls and the boots. Did you feel? Yes. Man went streaking in front of poor Ethel Jennings. Hi there. He's a beautiful man who used to be a snowman. He came to life in Lacey Encino. Man. Lacey Chabert couldn't find a man on the planet. There's only three and a half billion of us. And she just couldn't do it until a snowman came to life. Hot frosty. And chicks click on it. And on a date before. Please, I need your help with Cassie. It's been a minute for me too. What in the name of God? Yeah. Why is Craig Robinson in Hot Sad? I want to make the most of the time that I have with you. A man that sweet's just gotta be magic. Oh, my God. Jesus. We gotta be careful, boys. Here we are having a conversation. If they lose a fingernail, we're out. And they're dreaming up hot Frosty on the side. Hot Frosty. Not my idea of hot frosty, but okay. Hot Frosty. Now imagine, ladies, if dudes are like, chicks all suck. There's three and a half billion of them and all of them suck. And we build a magic whore snow girl and we call it, you know, sexy Frosty. They'd be so mad at us for that movie. That would be the worst. Like, what is wrong with you guys? You have this idealistic. What a woman should be. This muscular, super ripped, awesome dude who used to be a snowman. Cause all of us suck.

[Byron]

Hot Elsa.

[Brett Vesely]

Whore. Frosty. You need to lock out your Netflix account. Oh, that's what. It's on time. I canceled TV at the house. It's over. You know what? After Hard Knocks ends, I'm not gonna have any more tv. Cause I'm not credit. Didn't follow through. Has not been spoken of. I only got through about 10 minutes of it before the TV went off, so. But that was the last thing on the television. Hot Frosty. And in her mind for a second, this looks. Boop. Play. I don't blame her for wanting a magic snowman to come to life as the most, you know, a very good looking, you know, handsome, ripped dude. That makes sense to me because I would want the same thing. But women don't start in that hole. The false image of what a man thinks a woman should look like when you make hot Frosty, that you're. You're the same as us. You want the same as us. You didn't ever make hot Frosty, Shane Gillis. That's not what comes out. I just want a man with a sense of humor. Well, then how come when you make hot Frosty, Bert Kreischer isn't what the scarf brings you? You're the same as us. You have an unrealistic ideal of what beauty is, too, but we also do, so we get it. Someone spent. Donovan, you make a great point. So someone spent real American money to make hot frosty. Is childhood cancer not a thing anymore? Yeah, you're right. You know what, Donovan? That money could have been. It could have been one or the other. We're gonna make hot frosty or we're gonna give some money to childhood cancer. What if she loses her head just asking for a friend named O.J. yeah, that's true. It's a deal breaker. Hot Frosty. And then Matt Rife comes out. I'm hot frosty. I've got 55 different abdominal muscles. This is exactly what I wanted. 3.5 billion men suck. You needed a magic scarf to turn a snowman that a gay guy clearly built into a real human being. Oh, yeah. Michael and Troy were executive producers on that. Michael and Troy built the snowman. Nobody's ever built a snowman and carved out, you know, pecs, the guys that.

[Byron]

Are sitting on the script of David. Yeah, she puts a scarf around the statue.

[Brett Vesely]

What if. Just hear me out. You ran into a hot snowman and had a magic scarf. Would you bring him to life? Oh, yes. Chicks might be making movies about hot frosty while us Men are making real sex robots. We win. We're actually. Yeah, they're building the fantasy. We're way weird. Science happened in the 80s. You're just now coming up with Hot Frosty? Another unoriginal chick idea. Hot Frosty. It got greenlit. They got a cast of people I recognize.

[Byron]

I'd like to hear Craig's take on it. When you saw the script.

[Brett Vesely]

I know Craig's take on it. Cha ching. Show me the money. Yeah, that and the Pizza Hut dough. He's doing all right. Yeah, I saw Craig last at the. He was so high, I didn't know who at all was talking to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was for my birthday show. Crazy. He just came over to drink with us. I remember you. No, you don't. You're high. You don't remember three minutes ago.

[Byron]

Vader wants to know if we're watching.

[Brett Vesely]

Hot Frosty at the second show. You know, there is no second job. If you want to stick around, we'll put Hot Frosty up. I'm going home, but life's just really tough for me. And then Rita Moreno's twin sister gives her a scarf.

[Byron]

We could ask him to put it up in the pre party. Just in the background on the monitors.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'm sure Nine Ball won't mind that. Oh, no, no. In fairness to Hot Frosty.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

In the back video, I don't mind if Hot Frosty's going on behind him. We'd lose Natalie, their lead singer would turn around and start watching. Shut up, you guys. Hot Frosty's on Hot Frosty too. Like she broke up with the first snowman and had to get that first one melted. So give me that scarf. Yeah. In springtime, he's gone. I wonder if there's a tear jerking ending to Hot Frosty where he has to like go because it's too hot. And he'll be back again next year. Like Frosty the Snowman had to leave. Remember when he started to melt, but Frosty Snowman didn't turn into a dude. And this will have that stupid thing like with love, his, you know, carbon based body will stay if he finds love. And he didn't even know that. I guess I'm just worried that you're gonna leave or that you can't be in the sun. If you really love Hot Frosty, Hot Frosty can live in the summertime. That's a scary Frosty the Snowman. They kill him, he dies.

[Byron]

It was brutal.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a terrible ending. He's dead.

[Byron]

They're Sacrificed himself.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he had to. Yeah, Like Jesus. They're making all these, like, Christmas chick flicks. Like, with. Oh, it's terrible. Like, now there's the merry gentleman too. What's that? Oh, yeah, What's. Did you see? That's a Hallmark one, I think. Hot frosty is all. What's this?

[Byron]

No, that was on Netflix.

[Brett Vesely]

More stripping man. Never seen before. And the dad from Family Ties. Was that a rhetorical question? I was supposed to be inspirational. Sounded rhetorical. How about you guys? Whatever. What are these guys? Strippers. Yeah, they're doing a Christmas. Used to be a tradition around here, but now it's on life support. Oh, Nobody shows up to the rhythm room, so you have to get dudes dicks out. Too many holes in the walls and the women will show up. Oh, the lake. There's got to be a way to get people excited about this place again, don't you think? Male strippers are the answer. Male dance review. Oh, my God.

[Byron]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, ladies are worse than us because you try to disguise your whoredom with romance. The only way to make it. I've never once seen Jon Taffer or Gordon Ramsay going in there going, you need more nudity. Maybe serve better food. Clean the place up a little bit. You might get some punters. Here's for the slow people. Christmas cowboy. She wakes up and there's a cowboy in her house. That's called rape. It's all about women whose lives suck. And then magically, you can't find a man magically. Jonathan has a surprise for you. I'm giving you the opportunity to make partner. It's not a good surprise, it's a bad surprise. He refuses to work with anyone who isn't a hometown born and bred Jericho local. Oh, did I have to go there? She's got to go out to some farm. Must be Maria. And meet a cowboy. Oh, she's a fish out of water. She's a city gal. Doesn't want to be there. It's like Pauly Shore and Son In Law. Christmas homecoming. Had to go home for Christmas and meet a clearly Jewish cowboy. She was Ducky, the Jewish cowboy. It's Bucky Feldstein. I cannot wait to see who wins this competition. All right. I can't take it. I don't know how you got us off on that one, Brett. You started talking about hot frosty. Hot frosty.

[Byron]

I can review one more Hallmark.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you got one. You got. You.

[Byron]

Watch that, Casey. Kansas City Chiefs.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, the story. What is it, two stars? It's the Chiefs Fan and the Chiefs player. Yeah.

[Byron]

Her family exploded. Ed Begley Jr. Grandpa.

[Brett Vesely]

They're paying big money for these things now. They're getting good. They're getting good B listers. What is that? Touchdown of Love or something like that? No, Touchdown of Love is the down syndrome. Yeah. Falling for football. No, but I think it's going to fool a bunch of Swifties into thinking it's the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce story.

[Byron]

And it's not. Although Donna Kelsey's in it. She works at the diner.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they're in it. It's a Christmas. That's it. The third one down.

[Byron]

There you go. Holiday. Touchdown. A Chief's love story.

[Brett Vesely]

Chiefs love story. So all these Swifties, like turn your attention to midfield from Hallmark and the NFL. Oh my God.

[Byron]

You know, there's a couple cameos of the year award.

[Brett Vesely]

Comes a love story that's a real Christmas game changer. Okay. You watched it? Oh yeah. Oh, Jesus. Well, they are tapping into the Swifty. So does Mahomes make an appearance or anything?

[Byron]

None of the. None of the marquee players. There's a couple of players that come in. Oh, one.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought Mahomes kicker shows up or even Mahomes defensive lineman Chris Ford.

[Byron]

Might have been it.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's just being three seconds.

[Byron]

Andy Reid at the end goes, come on, we need the field.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Because there's too much romance going on.

[Byron]

In the football Player of the year.

[Brett Vesely]

As Andy Reid Holiday touchdown. A chief slump story not at all affiliated with Taylor Swift.

[Byron]

Oh, they led you to believe that was going to be about that?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. That's a deal breaker. If you got, you know, for girls like, I loved Hot Frosty. I loved Kansas City Hot touchdown show. You're out. You're dumb. Cuz then they get it in their heads that it's possible they start looking at you different. What ladies don't realize with us is we watch Weird Science and realize we don't look at the. You know, we just realize it's fancy, kind of cool. Be neat if it happened, but it's not gonna. So we go back to reality. I don't think girls do that. I think they watch Hot Frosty and I think about what if? God, that would be great. Then they look at you like, look at that tub of goo.

[Byron]

You're right though. There's gotta be the deal breaker in Hot Frosty. He's gotta.

[Brett Vesely]

He's gotta melt or he's gotta stay. And you know what keeps him alive? Wouldn't it be great love if the end of Hot Frosty. If I don't get to be inside you like four times a day, I melt. Okay. Uh oh. Looks like I'm leaking a little bit. Swallow it.

[Byron]

Hey, what happened to Frosty? He melted two years ago.

[Brett Vesely]

Look, I got melted me all over my tummy. Lick this off. Anything for you, Hot Frosty. You telling me? And then you gotta tell your realistic girlfriends he's his former snowman and if I don't blow him every once in a while, he melts. You bought into this? Yeah, he's perfect. It's a magic scarf. All right, we're not friends anymore. Hot Frosty. This Christmas touchdown of love. Touch of downs. This one says he's not gonna be Hot Frosty when she sticks that warm finger in his ass. That's true. You don't mess around with a snowman doing stuff like that. Frosty, what do you got on the board of musical treats? They're hot Frosty. Kristen, the text. Coming. Gulp. Sup? Gulp. What happened to my big gay snowman? This guy says I'm making a perfect figured snow woman in my front yard with implants and everything else. Because if it's okay for them to do it wise and it's an unrealistic beauty standard and you're not allowed to do it. You built Hot Frosty. It's stupid. It's different. Well, no it's not. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect with savings over $390 this shopping season. VRBO helps you swap gift wrap time for quality time with those you love most. From snow on the roof to sand between your toes. We have all the vacation rental options covered. Go to VRBO now and book a last minute week long stay. Save over $390 this holiday season and book your next vacation rental home on VRBO. Average savings $396. Select homes only. Here's more of the best of Homburg's morning sickness. 98K upd. Somebody's emailing me about the ping pong ball deal. Like I have ping pong balls too. John. We've worried the entire city about oversized genitals because we're men, we don't know what other guys balls are supposed to be like. So probably a good thing. Yeah, it's a great thing. But when it comes down to studies saying, well, if your balls are this big, your heart's gonna explode, you start to wonder, where do I stack up? Yeah, ping pong balls. Maybe because it's so round. That's what I'm saying. If you mush it down, it seems about right. It seems big. No. What are we looking at for right now? There's two of them Now I'm paranoid. That seems about right to me. If you have big old giant balls. I guess I know because I don't have big balls. Somebody would have said something by now. I think a doctor somewhere along the lines would go, nice balls. Things are massive. They're not. I'm not like Cisco Adler. I've got a lot of doctors playing with your balls. Oh, I prefer it that way. I had the dentist do it. That's why he sent me to another guy. I have a pain here in my. What is this? A molar and then one in my balls. I think there's a tooth in there. You got to feel hard. Yeah, yeah, that's it. I know I have extra bag. John Schmall says dude, as soon as you said that about that I pictured what Great Danes look like from behind and then put it on you. Stop talking about your long bag. Do have a long bag. That's hereditary. Okay? According to the all knowing Wikipedia, the average testicle size after puberty. Don't give me centimeters. I'll be a mess. Can measure up to around 2 inches long. That's mine's.

[Byron]

That's.

[Brett Vesely]

I got a little longer than 8 in. In breadth. Round, right? Yeah. That's not very. That's not ping pong. 1.2 in.

[Byron]

In ping pong ball. That's probably.

[Brett Vesely]

That's about a ping pong ball. One inch. Yeah, I think that's about right. That's about a ping pong ball. Mush down.

[Byron]

I don't think that's. I don't think that's alarming. Size.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't need ping Paul. I don't either. Okay, good. Brady's making me feel better because I thought I had very normal balls. But if you mash a ping pong ball down, it's going to be like a lot wider circumference. Get an idea what it would be. I'm going to trace one for you guys. Trace a nut. All right. I don't know. I don't either but that's making me nervous now. So you know, go check it out. Let me grab it. Yeah, I know I've been feeling mine the whole morning since it's like, you know, what are you looking at as big? Like small is like lima bean. Tangerine maybe like a lima bean is a little ball.

[Byron]

Tangelo.

[Brett Vesely]

Who's that guy? What's his name? We'll use him as a gauge. He's the new kid. Whip out your balls, son. Welcome aboard. Isn't that why Peolene got fired? Show me your titties and your balls. Maybe Piling was just worried that his sack was too. Hey, guys, I read a story. The balls, they not supposed to be the size of small baseballs. Piolin, you're going to die. Grab your titties. Everyone immediately throw me your balls. What is Jack or. My name is not Piolin. There's a checking for lumps. Piolin, I am sorry we have to fire you for grabbing titties. But Piolina grabs the titties. Piolin, we have to let you go. What does this mean? That is the Tanner scale. Of what? This is just some weirdo's drawing of balls and wieners. Testicles size. What does that mean?

[Byron]

And how did Tanner get that?

[Brett Vesely]

And why is Taylor. Why is Tanner the expert? Because he's the shortstop for the Bad News Bears. I don't trust him. Tanner Boyle is a ball expert. Get the Jew balls.

[Byron]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Tanner, what does this chart do? Does anyone understand this chart? No. Measurement on the side. Doesn't it? No. Well, that's two and a half of something. But this is just a little wiener and little balls and then bigger wieners. Prepubescent to pubic puberty. I just googled for fun famous people with one testicle. Arnold Schwarzenegger only has one. Is that true? Yeah. Where did his other ball go? I don't know. Yay. Pick that up. One just shot out of me. Adolf Hitler. Napoleon knew that.

[Byron]

For one. One baller, he's pretty productive.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it's. That's. You only need one. Ron, caps on that. It only takes one. Not famous. He doesn't have one. He's got both of them. One's just mashed up. Anyway, the other thing was the guy.

[Byron]

Says ball and skillet.

[Brett Vesely]

You talk about that welding girl that was there and became senior welder at age 20. Talking about her earlier hiring hot girls. He goes, you forgot one thing. This chick was welding airplane parts. I didn't mention that. Think about that next time you're on a plane. Dude in charge of the the welding shop hired hot girl, made her a senior welder in a year and a half. At age 20, boned her in an apartment they kept nearby. So his wife didn't find out she's putting together US Airways planes.

[Byron]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

We all know who was responsible for the front landing gear. That Southwest Airlines. Jeff the other day.

[Byron]

Senior welder.

[Brett Vesely]

Senior welder. Trisha. Oh, My God, I can't believe it. Anyway, so what are you gonna do? Everybody feel your balls today. I'm very nervous about this. Like I said, I was cursed with a very average wiener and extra ball skin, but I. Maybe I'm housing a couple of beasts down south that I don't even know about. But you say ping use ping pong ball. Yeah.

[Byron]

Yeah, I don't think that's large. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Just seems big to me. You get little balls. Maybe I do have a little. I don't think that. I don't think that offends guys. Like, if I said you have a little wiener, you'd be worried. But if I say you have little balls, it's no big deal. Guys don't care about our. We don't care about our balls. I don't think women have put the stigma on whether or not your ball size. If they started in cup to part when they get hit with them, then the throat start choking them, I gotta worry about.

[Byron]

Knock them out.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you don't want to. I got that grandfather clock swinging around down south there. With all that skin, I can't can. I can throat a chicken.

[Byron]

Hypnotize him, too.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You touch the water. Granddad did it. He was 80. I can't. You're only 41. I'm gonna be in the tank in a couple of months. That's nasty. Disgusting. I know. I have to be careful. Well, you can't sit down to pee no more. You know what? I do good English. I no more Garcia. That was just very hillbilly because we're talking about balls. Double negative. Yeah, it's all right. Well, no more in general, but when I pee, I sit to pee. I just kind of put my fingers. I put my fingers in the skin and make like a little bag handle, like a Samsonite handle, and I pull it up. I don't drop down in there. And then sometimes I just grab the skin and lift it and put it over my leg. That I wish I was kidding about, but I'm not. Stand up and pee like a man. No, no. When you're taking a deuce, too, you got to do that. When I'm deuce. And I just pull it up and lay it over my leg like. Like a wash rag. Oh, I know that's a pain. Telling me, like, I don't know. I gotta live with it, Brady.

[Byron]

They could shorten it up.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, one good thing is that sometimes you're in there and you're like. It's all compact, like, it's doing that thing that nobody understand. Nobody's ever studied the ball.

[Byron]

So doctor down there and trim it up. Make a wallet out of the extra or something.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, I wonder if I could get a ball lift. That wouldn't be bad because it would. It would. Oh, they could necessary.

[Byron]

They can do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Cut out a couple pieces and I just wouldn't back up. The rehab would be rough. A couple weeks of nut bag pain.

[Byron]

What if they just. What if you just get a ball net like a hair net, but it just tightens it up.

[Brett Vesely]

Does anyone ever studied the balls on why they shrink and grow and shrink and grow. Nobody even knows when it's gonna happen or why it's happening. And it's not even weather related. And what you're talking about sounds more like a pelvic mesh.

[Byron]

And I hear bad things about those.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't want to be in a class action lawsuit on Jerry Springer in a couple years. You had ball surgery? Oh, great. Here we go. What's the problem? I did it. I'll just let him keep growing all cocking ass and I'm fine with that. Dude that Cisco Adler found again. I'll never compete with the guy I met 10 years ago who's in that fraternity of the nickname sale. And he lifted his up to his chest and showed everybody that he's got America's cup written on the side of his balls because he could float across the Atlantic if the wind was right. He should be in Jim Rowe's circus. He should be. It was. It wasn't human. It's just not a human thing. It looked like a. A boat sale. And I went to see puppetry of the penis. And those guys could do stuff with their sacks that was relatively ridiculous. Yeah, Jim Rose is calling. Well, maybe I could. Maybe I got that to fall back on. I'm gonna show our new owners my balls. It's all right. If everything goes south here, I have a future in ball work. I'm a ball model. You're like George Costanza. Yeah. He's a beautiful. Look at his balls. They're gorgeous. I'm a ball model. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. That's why I want you to free that for the praying mantis. Praying mantis? Brady's first off, because you're gonna make videos about it. And. Oof. Man, Ambien. You got nothing. We saw a video of you already. We saw the preview.

[Byron]

He's gonna be in my yard.

[Brett Vesely]

He was looking at you like you were gonna Lose your mind while he was showing you. Look at him. He's eating that cricket's head. Where did you get the cricket? Did you go catch crickets for him?

[Byron]

Yeah, got him.

[Brett Vesely]

You gotta get a hobby. That's terrible. Who catches crickets? Brady?

[Byron]

This guy.

[Brett Vesely]

To feed size 12 vans. Bam. Done. Herbie could do it. You take those 12s out there and you mash up a few of them and then you got bug food.

[Byron]

They don't eat the dead cricket. They're gonna be live. Look, we should have seen him trounce on it.

[Brett Vesely]

He was fine without you. This is your overlord feature.

[Byron]

He jabbed at the first cricket and got just the. And just ate the drums.

[Brett Vesely]

Now you're telling a story about a boring video. Nobody cares about a praying man seating a cricket ever. You know how mentally deranged you have to. I'll let him go today. Yeah, because he doesn't want to be where he is. Is he in the glass jar and everything?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Isn't that how you like.

[Byron]

There's one more cricket in there.

[Brett Vesely]

How do you say you love his life when you haven't even give.

[Byron]

Serving him right now and learning.

[Brett Vesely]

Isn't that off? What are you learning? How to eat crickets. I think you got that figured out, brah. I think, chief, I think you got the hand to mouth thing down pat. You're not learning anything. You're a sadist. You're watching it destroy another animal's head.

[Byron]

I'm making life pretty easy for him right now.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he was doing all right.

[Byron]

No, he was struggling.

[Brett Vesely]

How fast did you get a cricket?

[Byron]

Pretty quick. It's his job at night.

[Brett Vesely]

He knows where they are at all times. Like, that's all he thinks about. If you can get one. He knows where all of them are.

[Byron]

He's got a tougher time.

[Brett Vesely]

No, he doesn't. That's all he does. He's a professional. It's all he does.

[Byron]

He's a professional. He is a professional.

[Brett Vesely]

You're teaching Randy Jones. You're right.

[Byron]

Shut up.

[Brett Vesely]

A slider. He's an idiot. Sometimes you just have to shake him loose.

[Byron]

He says that about every animal. That Chuck Wallace.

[Brett Vesely]

He was having a tough. He was having a tough. I. When I. In second grade once, I was walking home from school and I saw a dog. And I was maybe of 40 pounds. I don't know how much second graders weigh, but I was the average second grader. You were light. Probably the average second grader. Brady. Not the Brady average. The curve kid. Anyway, so I picked this Dog up and I take it. So I'm crying like he's starving because I saw a dog in the street and I was miserable about it. It was my neighbor's dog. He got out of the yard. The thing was like 80 pounds overweight. And as a kid, you just don't know. As an adult, you should know the praying mantis doesn't need you. That dog didn't need me. But I was only seven.

[Byron]

I know that.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, then why do you keep him in a jar in your house?

[Byron]

Because I think it's cool.

[Brett Vesely]

Can we tell you something real quick? Nah.

[Byron]

It's been, you know, it's been years since I've had the praying man.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. Why? Because it's boring.

[Byron]

You don't see him too often.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Byron]

So him for a couple of days, he did over a little vrbo. We'll let him go today.

[Brett Vesely]

What if it's a lady praying mantis and there's two baby praying mantis just rotting on this? I had grown up you basically.

[Byron]

And it spun the cocoon in there. And I had.

[Brett Vesely]

You're James.

[Byron]

The babies in my mom's bathroom.

[Brett Vesely]

You're James.

[Byron]

Very upset.

[Brett Vesely]

It puts the lotion on the praying.

[Byron]

He had a death head moth.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, no, no. You don't understand. James. I'm not talking about the bugs, okay? I'm talking about the lad. Well, he took something from where it wanted to be, stuck it in a well, fed it, made it put lotion on, and then said, it's just for a couple days. I'll just keep it. That's what you are. You're a bug. Jame gum.

[Byron]

I did want to make a dress out of the.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You don't see it that way. You think you're doing it a favor somehow?

[Byron]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Cuz you like entertaining. Making a new friend.

[Byron]

Educational moment for Kirby to see the prank.

[Brett Vesely]

What's educational about that? Bugs eating bugs.

[Byron]

You don't see it too often.

[Brett Vesely]

That's like going to herd museum. Yeah, it's worse.

[Byron]

No way. Sure.

[Brett Vesely]

Way more accurate. You know what you're doing? You're creating a sociopath.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You're saying, look inside here. I'm gonna feed this thing. Like, would you like it if Kirby went to somebody else's house and they did the pinky mouse going into the snake. Like, would you think that's a little weird? Like this. And then he caught it.

[Byron]

Like he's like, yeah, and see, But I don't even. That's a tough one for me.

[Brett Vesely]

Right?

[Byron]

But the insects. Oh, I Know you're teaching and had a piranha that would eat goldfish or an Oscar fish.

[Brett Vesely]

Why do you want to watch that? Crazy. And you're teaching a kid to say.

[Byron]

Yeah, look, you're watching it because it's real. The difference. But you watch it every day. I mean, then you would say, why do you want your kids playing first? You know, video games with first person shooting? Because it's where they're just taking people's heads off with a gun.

[Brett Vesely]

You have the right to say you don't.

[Byron]

Creating a sociopath there.

[Brett Vesely]

No, not really. But you are proven psychologically in the images on the. I don't think it's real. One's real and one isn't. Otherwise you wouldn't watch TV at all. One is actually capturing something and saying, look, feed it something and watch it devour it right here in front of us.

[Byron]

This is how nature works.

[Brett Vesely]

Something actually dying. Sure, you can tell them, don't play video games. I don't think the violent imagery is bad, but.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And I don't think I'm saying you're creepy. That's all. I think everybody agrees. Release that thing. Weird. You're a weirdo.

[Byron]

Hey, Brady, you know who catches crickets?

[Brett Vesely]

Virgins.

[Byron]

Virgins catch crickets?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Why aren't you inside beating off of that Oculus? For God's sakes, Do something that's good. See a praying mantis, and you capture it for your daughter's entertainment. You're gonna create a crazy girl.

[Byron]

Speaking of the Oculus.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Byron]

There's another game where you buy the steering wheel and you get behind a. You design your car, your Ferrari, you put the Oculus on Gran Turismo.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Byron]

And I did it on Sunday for the first time because my friend's son has it. You got. It's a standard, so you got clutch, gas pedal. That's down there. You get in this car, put the Oculus on, and as you're going 180 miles an hour, it's. You can look to the side. It's a mace.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait, there's games on the Oculus? Yeah. Huh. Who knew? Nope.

[Byron]

I think there's just porn.

[Brett Vesely]

I had no idea. I knew the browser. You can pornhub. And I go right to it, and it's fantastic. You've got.

[Byron]

It's amazing, the road head on this game.

[Brett Vesely]

We're off and running. Yeah. Roadhead. I'd play Roadhead, the game if that's a game I play with a gas pedal and a steering wheel. Just a. And then sometimes her head gets trapped under the steering wheel, and you can't steer through. That makes sense. But what you're doing is. It's. I think that's the second most insane thing you're doing. Behind the praying mantis, which is actually playing games on the Oculus John. I'm calling it right now. Brady is all about the long setup.

[Byron]

For a bad joke.

[Brett Vesely]

He's dressing up like a chubby praying mantis for Halloween. And if he comes to my neighborhood.

[Byron]

I'm calling the cops. Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, that's true. Something strange has happened. Trick or treat, bro. Got my cricket. You might have heard it on the radio. I'm my captured foe. Hey, Brady, you know why I don't have a praying mantis in my garden anymore?

[Byron]

Because jackasses like you keep pulling them off the stucco.

[Brett Vesely]

Right? See? And they do good things for the outside. We could teach Kirby a real lesson and say this thing's job is to keep the ecosystem alive. Not in a mason jar.

[Byron]

That's what we're doing. Bring it home. He's going to be in my yard.

[Brett Vesely]

It was in your yard.

[Byron]

No, it wasn't.

[Brett Vesely]

Where was it?

[Byron]

At Joe's Farm, girl. Outside on a house.

[Brett Vesely]

You took it in your car?

[Byron]

I captured it.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God. You're insane. This is what an insane person would do. On the list of what would an insane person do? It's like three and five. Go to this thing. Notice a praying mantis enough to get out of your chair. How did you capture it? At the Joe's farm. Where did you get Jess for a cup?

[Byron]

Yeah, we had. I had a cup.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you dump out anything?

[Byron]

There's a little leftover.

[Brett Vesely]

I dumped it out. It's. The more important thing was making sure that the prank mantis got to your house. Travel. When you say it out loud, you can kind of hear awesome bananas at all is right. Wow. This is how I know Brady's gonna die. I've been golfing with him hanging out. Man can't see a wild animal without grabbing it, thinking it needs him. Like he's the strangest thing. He needs me. No, he doesn't need you. No, he was starving up there.

[Byron]

I will pet him.

[Brett Vesely]

I will feed him. This thing was at Joe's Farm Grill.

[Byron]

It was at a house in the neighborhood in that area. We were leaving there.

[Brett Vesely]

You're walking past.

[Byron]

You're, like, driving past.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you were driving and saw Frank Manning.

[Byron]

I saw him up on the wall.

[Brett Vesely]

You got out of your car.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

This story gets worse. Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

Got the Cup.

[Brett Vesely]

He was moving in a moving vehicle. I'm still blown away by this. You stopped parked, got out, captured a praying mantis.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Took it home to see.

[Byron]

Scampered off.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. That's crazy. You're a crazy person. I know you got some weird tendencies, but that's. That's. That's up. That is up there. What else would you stop for?

[Byron]

Oh, the house. It was for sure.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, I'm saying. No, no, I'm saying what else would you see that you're like, oh, I'm gonna stop the car, get out and.

[Byron]

Capture maybe a snake or.

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding.

[Byron]

Some kind of reptile you haven't seen in a.

[Brett Vesely]

You would get out of your car and keep it.

[Byron]

Well, if it was a snake, a lot of times. If it was on the road or something. Or get it off the road.

[Brett Vesely]

Huh? Not me. Yeah. There's a dead coyote on Lincoln.

[Byron]

Scrape up the dead animal.

[Brett Vesely]

He's. No, he's scooped over to the side. What am I gonna do that for?

[Byron]

The center of the road or whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

Go around it. Because there's people who do that. You would.

[Byron]

You've got rack and pinion steering. You would.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you got power steering. Right. You go around it. You go around it. You're. That's not your job. Don't and don't. No, it's not.

[Byron]

Have I done it before? I have.

[Brett Vesely]

You've scooped roadkill off to the side. What you do, carry a shovel in the back of the Lincoln or what? You're going to get rabies. Go take a bath. I don't want you in here with us.

[Byron]

No, I'm not doing it by hand. And I haven't done it.

[Brett Vesely]

I haven't done it here.

[Byron]

We've got shovel you got down. Yeah, they used to have. We'd have a shovel in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

And scoop stuff out of the way.

[Byron]

Yeah, every once in a while. They grew up in Montana and nobody does that there.

[Brett Vesely]

Just keep hitting until it kill all the way.

[Byron]

You keep hitting until it's flat in Ua. You don't have squirrels in the streets. They go off to the side. Then you.

[Brett Vesely]

You got out and scooped squirrels off the road. Dead ones.

[Byron]

Yeah, I've done it before. Gotten them out of the way.

[Brett Vesely]

For what?

[Byron]

Like, because people kept running over it.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a dead.

[Byron]

I know, but they're rubbing it. It's a mess. For who Let someone let the animals eat it.

[Brett Vesely]

The animals are gonna eat it when.

[Byron]

The traffic is saying they're better off the side. If you can't A buzzard can't get it in the center of the road.

[Brett Vesely]

You're too involved. Is this conversation really happening? It is not. I believe this Bizarro Brady Land.

[Byron]

You've never scooped a tin?

[Brett Vesely]

No. Listen to you. You know it's crazy. Listen to you. You hear the crazy when you say it? I guess I haven't lived. I haven't eaten. Oh, geez. I forgot the shovel. We have to go home. What if we see one? I drove down Lincoln yesterday.

[Byron]

It's different. I mean, one of them. It's been a cat, a dog before.

[Brett Vesely]

And I still don't scoop them off the road. And I love animals. Like, if they're already dead, I go around it.

[Byron]

That's the problem. People don't see. Most of the people you think can go around it, but there's plenty that don't. Toledo.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Byron]

And you know what? Plenty. And you know what?

[Brett Vesely]

So we're the problem now. That's right.

[Byron]

They make it to work on.

[Brett Vesely]

But I'll tell you this. The only time that's ever happened to me, I had just pulled up on an accident where a man and his dog were hit by a truck on Indian School Road.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And the man was in the road, and the dog was in the road. So everybody stopped because there's a man still alive in the road. And no one was sure about the dog. So I was first on the scene. So I got out and said, the guy's like, my dog. My dog. And he's laying there. I'm like, he seems all right. I don't know what to do with people. They sue.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going to go see if this dog's okay. And there was a girl that had come up from the sidewalk, and she goes, I don't think it's going to make it. And because he had pooped. And I went to pick him up and he was flopped. And I'm like, he's gone. I guess I could feel his spine was. Was broken. And that's the only time I moved something because I thought it was still alive. If. If it weren't for the dog, I'd have just gone around the dude yelling and made a call.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And like, maybe stopped. So you okay. And stuff. And it helped out. But the dog was like, maybe still alive. And then somebody else was handled. Then the fire department got there real fast.

[Byron]

But I.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the only time I did it.

[Byron]

One time as raccoon, you say, no, it was. It would. It same thing. It basically died there on the right road and I took it off to the side.

[Brett Vesely]

So if I hit a raccoon in the road, I'm not gonna sit back and go, geez, I wonder if that thing's still alive. I'm just gonna keep driving and try to forget. And by about a quarter mile I would. They're supposed to die outside. Raccoons, cats and dogs are supposed to be in yards or houses. That. That coyote that's laying on the side of Lincoln, I'm driving by, I'm like, oh, is that a dog? I'm like, oh, it's just a coyote. I know they're varmints. And I thought I snouted him with my tires because his nose was kind of hanging off the edge there. Like, did I just snout him? Oh, well, it's too late now. Just keep cruising. Gotta get the base pizza by six. Yeah, you're a weirdo for sure. But 20 something years of knowing you and now I'm like, wow, this is maybe the strangest conversation I've ever had. You guys don't have a shovel in your car to scoop roadkill? No, I'm normal. And that's detrimental to, like, a child too. Like, Kirby doesn't need to see that squashed beast getting scooped up.

[Byron]

Yeah, she won't.

[Brett Vesely]

You sure about that?

[Byron]

Yeah, I haven't. I haven't done it here in Arizona.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, good. So you've stopped this behavior. Society wins.

[Byron]

Pretty much.

[Brett Vesely]

What does that mean?

[Byron]

There might be a time.

[Brett Vesely]

When's your last scoop? Is it.

[Byron]

It's been years.

[Brett Vesely]

Anyhow, you're a strange individual, but we love having you. Thanks for being here. I think I might take a stand and walk away from my check to not be in the room with Brady and his rabies.

[Byron]

See, you found your thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I found my thing. I don't want rabies. And Brady's clearly got it. And free that goddamn bug. Nobody's interested in that. We go to great lengths to keep bugs out of our house. And there you are. Captured them, bringing them in. I hope it is not even captured him at his house. He went somewhere and drove it home. Stopped his vehicle because he saw the little green dot you're creating.

[Byron]

If you guys ever get a praying mantis in your property, let me know, okay?

[Brett Vesely]

And you know what you can do? Come scoop it up with your shovel because go. You know what's going to happen to it? If I see it, it's going to get flat fast. I'll look at it for a second. I'm like, all right, that's Enough entertainment for me. You're not coming in. You don't keep it alive. I don't have a garden. Off you go then. I pay people to poison my yard so I don't see any bugs. Poison it monthly. He was just there a couple days ago. I shook his hand, gave him money. I mean, that's exactly what we do with bugs. There's so many of them. I try to poison my little section of the planet, so there's none on my. At least they'll be elsewhere. Everywhere. Brady, you're good. You're not. You're not needed in that area. I hope that little praying manus writes a memoir. And my Days of Capture. Day six. The beast fed me another cricket this morning while the onlookers through the glass jar stared. My nightmare has become my reality. You've created a little Auschwitz for him. Oh, man. It's true. It's exactly what he's done. Occasionally feeds it a cricket on his time. He's not sure what that thing does.

[Byron]

With his not getting a shower today.

[Brett Vesely]

Stares at it. Yeah, you're not even giving them that. At least they got those.

[Byron]

Clearly not.

[Brett Vesely]

You're a nut. You're a weirdo. You are a weirdo. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. The rest of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. This time to tell Bo he's a great big idiot. And today I don't even know what your topic is. I've been fairly agreeable with you, Beau, lately. Last week I thought you're kind of a moron. Prior to that four weeks in a row. That is the winning streak you were on. Now going for your second straight loss. Bows and idiots. It is the Bo Ritten Rave Bogo boys. Women in the workplace are good for one thing.

[Byron]

No, what's that?

[Brett Vesely]

A handy partner for a nooner. Okay, go ahead. Women just complain all the time about equality and wanting equal pay for equal work and body. Blahdy blahdi blahdi blah. You know what who's putting the. The water cooler. The bottled water on the water cooler? The men. The women don't. Will you put this up there for me? I can't get it. Is this a personal thing? Like yesterday, did someone who makes more than you as a woman make you put the water cooler bottle up? Yeah. When there's a happy box. It did. When there's a heavy box, needs to go on the top shelf, who does it? Not the woman who's standing there.

[Byron]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

She goes and finds the man to do it because the man should be doing the heavy lifting. When a woman gets knocked up, who takes three months off of work? The woman does. A man can't do that. Has to. She's giving birth. Yeah. So she. Three months.

[Byron]

Carry Bo around for nine months.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, no kidding. All right. I'm getting a dog. I need three months off to raise it. I'm calling Chuck right now. I need my time off. All right. What? Do you have any other points? Because already you're so deep into this one, you're a.

[Byron]

If a.

[Brett Vesely]

If a man decides not to work, he's looked at as a deadbeat. Yeah, if a woman decides not to work, it's totally okay in kosher.

[Byron]

What do you mean? In a relationship or are you talking about employment?

[Brett Vesely]

Anytime a woman.

[Byron]

Single women.

[Brett Vesely]

A single woman cannot work because she's raising a kid or whatever, that's work. A woman doesn't have to work. A man has to work. There's no two ways about it. A man doesn't have to work. I do agree, though, that if a guy doesn't work, society wise. Men are expected to work. Exactly. Guys don't have the choice of working or not working. Men don't have to. Or women don't have to. Women can bitch and moan and want their equal pay.

[Byron]

Oh, here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

But they don't put the water cooler thing on there. Somebody yesterday made this idiot lift a water cooler and now he's throwing a rent and rave in a heavy box. Women don't belong in the workplace. All right?

[Byron]

It's the only box he's been lifted.

[Brett Vesely]

They can park their cars wherever they want. It's the. Oh, boy. It's all personal today. You know, it's the only box you're ever going to get offered by a woman, so you better lift it. And that's Beau's rat and Ray. Women don't belong in the workplace because, well, they just don't lift the boxes. Women can be in the workplace. Just. If you want equal pay, you should Expect to do the equal work. Can take equal time off. You should get two weeks a year, just like everybody else does. You don't get your special pregnancy time. You know what? Pop the kid out and then get your ass back to work. You are an idiot. All right, man.

[Byron]

Unbelievable.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the worst one yet. What? That's an argument from you? This is completely the way a woman can just blow it out and then get right back on the horse. Huh? Or quit the job. You don't take three months off. You're a moron. Oh, I need to clean my pool and it's gonna take quite a while. I have to drain it and refill it. Chuck, I need a year off. You're an idiot. Lambast this moron today. Are you kidding me? You really research this woman asks you to lift the bucket, you cry. Hey, if they want equal pay, they should do equal work. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. Bo is an idiot. The rant and rave going on right now. 260-9800. If you want to get in on this, I don't even know why you'd want to try because it's just so obvious. It's so damn true. Clear cut baby fit today, Hud. Although our upstairs sales guy has chimed in with his agreement with you, Bo. He fires off once as Bo is right. Right on, Bo. Atta boy, Hud. Hud from upstairs. So evidently a couple guys here in the KPD building have had to lift the water cooler for somebody. Big crying girls. Good job, Hud. Also got an email that says, bo isn't an idiot, he's a mother effing puss. Sorry, Bo. That rant and rave was pathetic. It should have been called Bo's piss and moan. Bo's butt hurt because he had to use his beer gut to lift a water bottle onto a cooler. Water, which I'm sure he drinks, is the old style rent and rave. Beau. Nice job. This time instead of being an idiot, you're just a puss. Later. Brian. Have a an email here from Selenia. And I can't really go too far at her because she's Martinez. I mean, Hispanic. She's good. Hey, quit complaining. You men get paternity leave when us women do all the work and have your children. We deserve three months off. You guys don't. Wow. What do you deserve three months off for? I don't know. We got people in line here. You count as 10, so I agree with you either. Who's this? Mike. Mike. What do you think? I agree with Bo. His reasoning sucks. He's still an idiot. I agree with him. You think that. Oh, yeah. Really? That equal pay, you have to be able to do all this stuff, even lift the water bottle? Oh, yeah. Really? Absolutely. Women should be docked pay for not being as strong enough to lift the water up onto the thing. If they have to go ask a man to do it, then yes. But if they're really hot, you totally change your. Because if, like, if Nikki wandered over to and said, here, lift this for me, I'm too small, you'd be all over it. Of course I wouldn't be all over that. I might be all over her. Right? You're not gonna lift the water, but you're certainly gonna put her on a pedestal. Nice job, Mike. Thanks for calling, man. Hi, there. Who's this? Danny. Danny, what do you think? I think Bo's a quasi idiot. What do you mean? I mean that if there's no women in the workplace, you're gonna have to look a lot harder for the hanger. Let's work a lot harder for. Good point. It's because it's hanging. It's hanging. Yeah, it's a good point. If you lift a water bottle for a girl, then they're going to want to give you the Tang a lot easier than if they lift. It's true. Because if you're doing things for them, then the Tang is more accessible. Much more accessible. Well, that's a bad point. These really butch women that don't want any help, but they usually either become bus drivers or wear Campbell pants. Well said, sir. Nice job, man. We'll talk to you later, beautiful.

[Byron]

Yeah, I guess sometimes you turn into a foreign word to Bo is a gentleman.

[Brett Vesely]

What's hilarious, as they turn into bus drivers, you can just morph into a bus driver. All right, final one for the ride. Hi, there. Who's this? This is Jessica. Jessica, fire away. Oh, my God. Not only is Bo an idiot, he's an ass. Yeah, that's true. Okay, well, first of all, I work in an office full of women, and we lift our own water jugs, thank you very much. Well, good. What's that? You get equal pay. What school district do you drive for? Actually, you know what? First of all, I am not a bus driver. I work for first American title. I'm probably gonna get totally busted that I'm on the phone right now. But that's okay. It was worth it. It was very worth it. Cause you're a woman, you got time to mess around. At work. I'm helping. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Thank you. Anyway, actually, have you ever. Beau. Had a child? No. Okay. Well, of course not. Because, you know, if men had to have children, they'd be off for the entire year. That's true. That's what I'm saying. I'm getting a dog. I want the time off. I took two weeks off because I had a big dump. It's true. If a woman can do it, I should be able to do it too. Women need to make a decision. Do they want to have a kid? Have the right to take three months off? I was trying to tell them that. I'm not kidding about that dumb thing either. I blew a blood vessel in my eye. I take the work off. It wasn't fun. So, you know, I think you're an ass. If a woman wants a kid, she should. She should either quit her job and raise the kid. Oh, boy. Or not have the kid. That's a whole nother rat. Ra. Thanks for calling. Thank you. All right. There you go. I to used to play for first American title in little league. That's who sponsored us. I can't be too rude to her. She had a lot of time on her hands there. For somebody at work. Bo is an idiot. If you want to continue to tell him so I'm Damn right. Email us98kupd.com or you can just phone us up. Keep it right here in the morning sickness. 98 KUPD. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness on 98 KUPD. Bose. Ray and Rave is getting huge response, so we'll do a little reactionary. And I do now have a comment to all the hundreds of emails I've just received hating you. Yeah, a few do agree with you. And every woman so far that's emailed me, with the exception of maybe two or three, have used sex as the weapon to say you're an idiot. They say boznit. I can't believe he said that. He'll never get laid. It always is held over our head. Absolutely. Well, but, you know, I mean, we. We encourage women to use that as their tool. Sure, we do. But then we betch about it when you do. Right? Who's this? This is Tony. Tony, give it to him. All right, man. Bo is partially an idiot. His rant and rave is a little circumstantial, though. How's that? In the 1800s, when a woman would give birth, three days later, she's working the homestead again. Damn. Women have become soft yes. All right. Women are soft. You don't see women out building homes. You don't see women out building swimming pools for people they work in offices, getting paper cuts. Well, frankly though, back in the 1800s, women lived to be like 33 too. So I guess maybe there's a wash. Kind of a wash. Yeah. Okay. They're soft. What makes it. You just move on to the next one quicker? You're like the. The frontier Mac Newton all of a sudden. Something like that. Badass women are soft guy. Okay, Precisely. Women, I mean, women need to be hardcore if they want to be equal. Yes, I agree with you. You are the man. No, you and Bo are tandem. Nice job, man. We'll talk to you later. Not a problem. All right. Finally. Hi there. Who's this? Amanda. Amanda, make it snappy. Fire away. Bo is beyond an idiot. No wonder he never gets laid. What's that? You see? There we go. Why do women always have to throw that out? Because he's a moron. I mean, I want to see him squeeze a watermelon out his ass and see how he feels. You know what was fun? Last Friday at Chevy's, we tried that and Bo got two out at once. It was amazing. He's a moron. The women in my office put up the water coolers just like the men. I'm sure we could take on Beau any day. Uh huh. I don't know about that. But the water coolers, they're heavy. I don't like doing that either. Bo's around, I ask him to do it so it makes sense for me. Well, you're a woman, so why do women always hold the sex thing? Why does that have anything to do with whether Beau's ever gonna have sex again? Because that's all men think about, isn't it? I think it's all women think about. And you blame us. You use it, you use as a tool, which is fine because we encourage you to use it as a tool when it's on other men, when it's on us, then we're gonna about it. Exactly. Well, I'm with you on that one. You and I are on the same side. Amanda, we'll talk to you later. Bye.

[Byron]

Bye.

[Brett Vesely]

Bye. Yeah, Bo, you're. You're done. Overwhelming majority, I am. Damn right. I'm a genius in certain areas. You just presentation problems. That's always a rule. Merry effing holidays from the big red radio. Holmberg's morning sickness. Rocking your morning. It's Johnny Midnight in the ass. Johnny Midnight in the ass. Your favorite dj. Now back to Johnny Midnight in the ass. That's right. We're back. Johnny Midnight in the ass. And now I got a very special guest on the phone. It's beautiful moment there with Shaman's Harvest Dragonfly here in the big city. It's about 70 degrees right now in a gorgeous paradise. And let's welcome in star of stage, screen and television. And let's hear her song started off here. She's got a brand new song here. It's Teila Tecula. Whoa. Yeah. Wow. That's right. Ass. I've been listening to this all week. All week long. Ms. Tila, are you there? Oh, yes, I am. I'm just waiting for you to. I wasn't sure if I was live or waiting or. You're live now. Now your song is playing. I have to tell you, I may.

[Byron]

Mr. Tequila, who is the musical influence on that? William Hunger. Sesame Street.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Please. This is a joking. Of course, Mr. Keela. I. I've had your album now for a while and enjoy it quite a bit. Could you elaborate on how you got into music from. From whatever it is you do? I've always done music. I actually did music before I even did the TV show. And that's why you know people. Oh, well, some people knew that. A lot of people don't realize. Hey, ask us a question.

[Byron]

Which movie did you like working in better? Indiana Jones and Short Round or Goonies as data?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not sure what he means by that either. It's 74 degrees in the big city. Johnny Midnight, he has. Talking to Tila Tequila. Tila, could you tell us a little bit about what you're up to now? You've got some sort of blog you're gonna tell everybody? Medical Advice? No, it's misstelaomg.com. it's the number one celebrity gossip website. Really? And it's a. It's in competition with Perez Hilton and it's. So far I've. It's been extremely successful and I'm having so much fun blogging on there. When you were a little boy, did you always want to get implants? Like a juicy celebrity dirt on people. Ask us another question.

[Byron]

When you were a little boy, did you always want to get implants?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Yeah. Is that like the Muppet Babies back there? Yeah, I don't know what that. Oh, no, that's your song. That's my song? Yeah. Which one are you talking about? Whatever I'm hearing back there. Oh, no, that's the ass. He asked you a question. I'M not sure you heard it. Do you have another question asked?

[Byron]

Yeah, Shot of love. When you were trying to find that love with a man or a woman, why didn't you have any hermaphrodites? Is that what you draw?

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody signed on. I would like. I would have loved to fall in love with a hermaphrodite. You would have sex with a hermaphrodite? Yeah. Chinese. What does that have to do with a hermaphrodite? Tranny. What? Anyway, 75 degrees in the big city. You would have sex with a hermaphrodite. That's something that you're not opposed to? Why not? Because it's weird. Sort of gross. Weird to me.

[Byron]

Which smell doesn't belong? Fish heads, chilled monkey brains or your genitals?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, please ask. 75 degrees in the big city. I'm sorry, Taylor. Sorry about that last one. No problem. That's a horrible question from the ass. So what do you want to accomplish with your career, Tila? Well, right now I have the celebrity gossip vlog. My music's out on itunes now. So please go and get that out tomorrow. Get that, please. And I have a couple of TV shows coming out. Sorry about that ass drop. Something. We apologize. Oh, you have a TV show coming out? What is that? Is this the hermaphrodite dream? No, I have a couple of TV shows coming out. Not just one. A couple. A couple. Well, could you elaborate on that a little bit, please?

[Byron]

Anything with Jackie Chan.

[Brett Vesely]

Who will not be on the show. The ass. The ass? Why not? What's wrong with the ass? He's a ball of fun. Because I can't understand a word he says. Oh, he's got another question.

[Byron]

Mr. Tequila. If I was whacking your website and I finished with a shot on your face, does that secret mean I'm gay?

[Brett Vesely]

From the sound of your voice, I do think that you're like a hermaphrodite. He is a little bit. Maybe a herme. Who knows? Would you like to come by and maybe take him out on a date? We'll pay for it. Sure you'd like to date him? If you pay for it, I'll come and take him out on a date. And I'm gonna take off his pants and see what's going on down there. And I'll tell you. Wow, celebrity gossip blog. What's really going on with the ass? Does that happen on every date? The pants immediately come off just to check it out? No, just for the specific. Just for the ass. All right, well, Taylor, Good luck. Good luck with everything you've done. You've. You've. You've won lunch for the ass today. He's a very happy man. And we didn't think we would actually get you on the line. Brady. She went through the whole damn thing. What the hell? Mr. Tequila. He said. How did that happen?

[Byron]

That was so rude and disrespectful.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. How did you get through that? Brady?

[Byron]

What are you talking about? Get the ass out of here.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Yeah. Get him out of here. Johnny Midnight. You take that ass right out of here. Sorry. Those two. Why?

[Byron]

Man.

[Brett Vesely]

Holy crap. Mr. Tequila. When you were growing up as a little boy, did you always want implants? Brady Bogan, everybody. As they asked. Did you ask the Indiana Jones question? Yep. Yeah. I was in the hallway. Cow. You were laying in the hall.

[Byron]

I ran out of questions. I went over and above.

[Brett Vesely]

That sounds amazing. Yet another non celebrity over deliver. Yeah. Another non celebrity being interviewed by Johnny Midnight in the ass. She made it.

[Byron]

She's gonna blog about the ass?

[Brett Vesely]

I hope so. That's your dream? To get on a celebrity blog? It is.

[Byron]

Cross that one off the bucket.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe you and Ronnie can meet her.

[Byron]

Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

Tila Tequila. No call. We're clear so far. You got right into it. I was surprised. You didn't even let Johnny Midnight set it up at all. You did like shoes. I was trying. I gave him. I gave him the point. Like get one out of the way. And the kid went right for the jugular. Man. There it is. Johnny Manette in the ass taking care of yet another celebrity that shouldn't be one. And that's our fault too. It's 98k upd. I'm uncomfortable right now. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. You're listening to the best of Homburg's Morning sickness. The Nettie Akup. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call all this the Brady Report. And it's brought to you by allprochades.com. if you want to get your shady life together and you want to do it right. You want to make your house look pretty and beautiful. We saw a couple on Camelback Country Club. Those beautiful awnings that were coming off a couple of these houses. My God. It. It does. It's attractive. You can add a lot of value to your house with these things. And it's not that crazy expensive. It's actually really good. Head on over there to allprochade.com. you get a Motorized shade right now they'll throw in a heater for those cooler evenings. You want to sit on the beautiful, beautiful patio that you've built. With allprochade.com Brady reported.

[Byron]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix.

[Brett Vesely]

Hello, world.

[Byron]

Couple of basis fun facts. Hormel claims the meaning of the name Spam is known only by a small circle former Hormel Foods executives. But a popular belief is that the name is the attraction of spiced ham.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I thought.

[Byron]

It also has been rumored to be an acronym for should shoulder or pork and ham.

[Brett Vesely]

I just thought it meant I'm poor. If you've got Spam in your house, it usually means never had Spam as kid. There we go. There we go. That's me again. I'm not sure I heard you. You never had meat in a can do that.

[Byron]

You put it on that canned bread.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no, I haven't had Spam when I was a kid, as a regular delicacy, as a joke. Once we bought it and tried it to see how they lived, and then we immediately went, ew. Threw it. I know. I know what I was talking about. The down syndrome thing. And now there's a Brownie day. And then there's people sending us pictures of Brownies and Downies. The brownie place where only down syndrome people work. Where is that place that I don't have. Somebody was sent that picture. It's just heaven. It's heaven for people with a sense of humor. Wait a minute. Only down syndrome people work at Brownies and Downies? I'm not eating anything, but I'm going in. Did you ever have Spam when you were a kid? He says, netherlands Salisbury steak. Guy asked me if I've ever eaten Spam. Did you guys have a lot of Spam? A lot. Yeah, we had some Spam. My grandma used to cook bologna. She was big on fried bologna sandwich. That was the most hillbilly, poor person thing we did. Lisa's had that. It's awful. Yeah, that's. And my grandma would grab.

[Byron]

There's one restaurant called the Red Door.

[Brett Vesely]

They would do that. Yeah, my grandma would. Would have Spam in the house. My mom would cube up Spam and put it in macaroni salad. Oh, it's actually delicious. No, it's not.

[Byron]

Yes, it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Never going to the Rah Rah room with you. What's the point?

[Byron]

Like, that was on the table.

[Brett Vesely]

It was not. And you know what isn't on the table at the Raha room? Spam. No, you're not. On the table at all, Cuz why would I take your discerning pallets to the Rahra Room when you're, you know, totally satisfied? By macaroni and Spam?

[Byron]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Those pants and a hoodie sweatshirt. I'm in Hungry Man. The clothes aren't so big. You guys have Spam and, I don't know, boxed Kraft Mac and cheese. Kraftinna.

[Byron]

In California, you can only get the number 69. All right? On a license plate. If your car's model year is 1969.

[Brett Vesely]

Too many people ruin that.

[Byron]

You know what the Gordie Howe hat trick is? I didn't know this.

[Brett Vesely]

5.

[Byron]

It's when a player scores a goal, gets an assist, and gets into a fight in one game.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't know that.

[Byron]

On this day in history.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought it was like Paul Bissonnette's hat trick where you fight six Irishmen in a nice restaurant.

[Byron]

Spam.

[Brett Vesely]

You mean s. Posing as meat. That's what it stands for. Yeah. As posing it. That's right. You ever have Spam as a kid? Apparently you're breaking the Navajo Nation's heart because they love Spam. Okay. Yeah, a lot of that on text. That's something else white people should apologize for putting you guys through.

[Byron]

Damn it, John.

[Brett Vesely]

I just realized I'm poor. Yeah, because your cabinets are full of it. Key Custer says the proper answer when someone asks you to ever have Spam as a kid, evidently, is no. I had a father with a job. Speaking of.

[Byron]

Stop today.

[Brett Vesely]

I know. Speaking of.

[Byron]

Stephen Nerden, 38 years old. He was arrested for domestic violence or domestic battery. They say in parentheses. Dating violence. He was with his date, and around 1:20am There's a confrontation after they had sex because she said. She described him as limp dick.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[Byron]

On. And he attacked her with a dildo. I'll show you.

[Brett Vesely]

Then he. Then she was right.

[Byron]

She was right.

[Brett Vesely]

He couldn't use his own.

[Byron]

She said, you know, followed up, like, you should use a ED pill.

[Brett Vesely]

Or next time during sex or after afterwards. Wow. What a immediate review.

[Byron]

Made fun of his. Kind of. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Made fun of his performance, like right after.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You don't want.

[Byron]

And there's some drinking involved, so he has to wear a bracelet that monitors his alcohol.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure. So he doesn't beat for three weeks.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Evidently, that's not so bad. He does look a little.

[Byron]

He is coming off of. He's got to be very careful. Careful because he has a previous record. He just spent some time sitting a couple years.

[Brett Vesely]

He's dildo Abused before he did.

[Byron]

I think it was raw burglary.

[Brett Vesely]

And he's a cop, wasn't he?

[Byron]

No, no, he wasn't a cop.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't that say ex cop, ex con? Oh, X cop. Okay, I thought it was a headline when you put it down. So he's. Yeah, but you don't do that. Especially if you like. Yeah, you just don't do that to a fella. If a woman would have every right to smack you around if you're like, all right, Arby's. What? This thing is disgusting. I rather have sex with a Big Montana than look at that again. Why did you. What are you doing? You should have every right to bonk in the head with her sex toy after that. Keep it moving, Arby. Keep it moving. Arby. You have the meats. Now take them and get out of my house. I shot my horsey sauce. Now take it somewhere else. Now. Why are you doing this? Because I'm reviewing our sex immediately afterwards and it wasn't good. And I blame you and that meat foundation thing you got there. Carl Budding out the door. Yeah.

[Byron]

Some archaeologists were excavating a cave in Nevada. I believe it's called the love cave. Ew.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Brady, is your brother gonna come into the story too? Tom junior's making an appearance. Remember when we saw that chick's love cave together in the bunks?

[Byron]

Since 1912, the cave has revealed oversized human skulls, sandals that measure 15 inches, enormous handprints. 15 inch sandal is a size 29, and a man's shoe. The findings are intrigued experts and they labeled these colossal beings early on in the. Wait a second.

[Brett Vesely]

We found giants of life. We found their skulls.

[Byron]

Found their skulls.

[Brett Vesely]

This is garbage.

[Byron]

Brady. This has been a. You know, since the early 1900s they've been talking about this.

[Brett Vesely]

No, not real.

[Byron]

Tales swirled around about this tribe of gigantic warriors. If it was real, were defeated by the Paiute Native Americans who corralled them and put them into the cave. They've got a seven foot seven skeleton.

[Brett Vesely]

No, they don't.

[Byron]

They're saying these warriors also had red hair. They're crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

Red hair, not real.

[Byron]

And it could lead to some of the stories of Bigfoot.

[Brett Vesely]

No, nope. This is all bunk. If in 1912 they found giant skulls, we would have tested them by now to find out.

[Byron]

I never heard about this.

[Brett Vesely]

Either portion of it's now dumb made up.

[Byron]

Lovelock based mining engineer recounted a discovery in 1935. No one of the great finds was a skeleton.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not a great find. You don't find out about that a hundred years later. That is a great find. If it's real, it was soon after a hoax. If you're reading this as a real story, you need to take a lap. If you read that and thought, wow, you need to take a lap. You think they would have done no research on gigantic of Lovelock giants up in Las Vegas in the 30s. And we haven't like, ever really dove into that topic once. It says 29ft, sandals, giant skulls. We found the skulls. Why are you telling us about it a hundred years later? Hey, I didn't think it had any interest for the humans. Why? And then a Paiute tribe wouldn't be raving about that for the last 200 years. We took down giants. We have proof.

[Byron]

The other thing that has happened, this.

[Brett Vesely]

Story is a complete fabrication. Brady need to apologize as a newsman.

[Byron]

The ruins of Noah's ark have been discovered.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, here we go. What. What website were you on? Brady's an idiot. Dot com.

[Byron]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

No, there are two things you can't find. A Bigfoot Noah's Ark. They're not real. Didn't they say that Noah's ark floated up? Noah's ark didn't happen.

[Byron]

They did. Now they're saying, you know, they found basically the ark.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, God damn it. I'm sorry to everybody for all this garbage. There isn't any science. There's no.

[Byron]

They haven't been able to confirm because the story goes, they floated for 150 days in the flood. Yeah, they're showing the flood and whether or not it was loaded with all the animals.

[Brett Vesely]

It wasn't.

[Byron]

And last time you said that there's like a big Noah's ark amusement park in Kentucky.

[Brett Vesely]

Give me at least the decency as a human being to not have the quandary of whether or not that actually occurred. All the animals, mosquitoes, birds, everything else. And why the birds. The birds didn't need the boat. So all the animals all. And people still think they're gonna find this thing. Knock it off.

[Byron]

They're excavating it right now.

[Brett Vesely]

They're not, Brady. Nobody's excavating Noah's ark. Charlatans are trying to find fool people who aren't very bright into thinking that they found Noah's ark. But do you know many bones you would find before the ark if you found boat parts and no bones.

[Byron]

Archaeologists have stated that the formation is not a shipwreck shipwreck. But a result of a natural phenomenon. But.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's no boat in the shipwreck what? It just floated somewhere and just stayed. Did it crash like somebody's backyard up on blocks? Let me ask you this about Noah's ark. If it worked.

[Byron]

No, the water level went down and just floated down.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. And we didn't like make that the biggest deal in the world. There was one living family.

[Byron]

That doesn't mean the, that doesn't mean. Here's the thing. At the time it was the flood doesn't mean necessarily. It was around the world. It could have been that area.

[Brett Vesely]

Mark McGuire's baseball.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

We didn't save that ark.

[Byron]

Yeah. There were no people around us. What are you talking about?

[Brett Vesely]

One dude telling the story and he didn't think that this might be the most magical thing that's ever happened in the history of history. That he just goes, just let it float off. Who needs that thing anymore? It's the most amazing thing of all time. Just let it float off. Part it out. Part it out. Stop it. You're telling me like this can possibly be a thing? Every animal in existence can thank that effing boat for being here. Now stop.

[Byron]

I don't know about that story.

[Brett Vesely]

Noah's ark.

[Byron]

I know the story of Noah's ark. Yeah, but the fact that what I was saying is that flood could have happened in that area which they think is the whole.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Byron]

And then if that boat.

[Brett Vesely]

And so they still thought. They still thought the whole world was on that boat.

[Byron]

Yeah. There is a part of that.

[Brett Vesely]

They did that archive the boat. They didn't sit and go, this thing's pretty special. People are going to know about this.

[Byron]

There's no one else around.

[Brett Vesely]

So one guy ruined it by himself over again. I know. Makes the boat more impressive.

[Byron]

Well, let him.

[Brett Vesely]

No, see, you're trying. You're using no logic against logic. Your boy Jebus.

[Byron]

I am just reporting it.

[Brett Vesely]

You're reporting garbage. That's what I'm pointing out. If they found the crashed up boat, you know, we, we threw a fit that Steve McQueen's car from Bullitt was in a barn for 40 years. How did people do this? How did you lose track of it? The ark. Stop it. That Noah would have been like, by the way, guys, don't touch the mother boat. That thing's awesome. And kids, stay away from it. Go another one.

[Byron]

Shroud of Turin.

[Brett Vesely]

That's it. Well, let's not go crazy. Let's stick to. Stick to one thing.

[Byron]

Back in the news.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. Now it's because it's grandma. Look, looking for Noah's ark's a waste of time. If nobody thought to save it back then, at least chunks of it, then it. Because it never happened.

[Byron]

Well, there was that in the 70s. The guy that came back with it wasn't a chunk.

[Brett Vesely]

Those are called charlatans. Those are called crooks that take advantage of weak minded individuals and start trying to give them a stick that said hey, guess what? I found Noah's Ark. And it dates back to that time. Well, there was a time. Oh, it's so annoying when I see archaeologists that went to school that try to dig through the side of a mountain and find an ark. You know how big that thing would have to be. And they made the mistake in the book of telling you how big it was and it couldn't house two elephants.

[Byron]

John, don't forget part of the story.

[Brett Vesely]

Where Noah built the ark when he was 800 years old. Well, there's also 300 cubic spines, massive amounts of horse, not to mention God killed all the fish for no reason. Where were they on the boat?

[Byron]

Also, also didn't they discovered on the side the actual name of the boat? They called it Noah's Ark, but it's not.

[Brett Vesely]

What was it?

[Byron]

SS Minnow.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay, I see. It was Gilligan's Ark. Can we also talk about the elephant in the room and all the inbreeding animals?

[Byron]

Animals would have zero genetic diversity if they all came down to two.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, because it look, the second you apply the Internet to Noah's Ark, you realize, oh, I'm kind of stupid for buying it. Yeah, Stop looking for it. Stop reporting on it. You.

[Byron]

Brady, I swear to God, you bring.

[Brett Vesely]

Somali pirates into this story and that.

[Byron]

It sinks somewhere in the desert.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm coming down again. I just go back to we save the fourth pair of ruby slippers sold for $36 million. That's super important. Want to hang on to that? Make sure that stays Noah's Ark. The only reason man exists. The ginger warriors and the giant headed warriors of Las Vegas. Stop reporting on this stuff and acting like there's an argument back. You're bringing it to the wrong dude. Find a dummy to talk.

[Byron]

Well, the most expensive Christmas tree just sold. It's 10ft tall, solid gold. It was created from 2024 gold Vienna Philharmonic coins for 2024. It sold for 5 million bucks.

[Brett Vesely]

Philip wants to know, Brady, you might know the story. Who did know a bone to restart civilization. Because it was either the wife and the monkeys or just the monkeys.

[Byron]

His wife. And then he had the sons and they banged. The sons brought some broads.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's all incest. Where did they get the broads? They brought some broads.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

From where? You know, they.

[Byron]

That said, hey, we're building this ark. We're taking off.

[Brett Vesely]

You broads want to jump in?

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, ladies. Dad's building an ark. He's not crazy. This is going to happen. I don't know why I turned in Adam Ray on that. But you know what? You guys want to come by?

[Byron]

Sail around the ocean.

[Brett Vesely]

Sail around the ocean, do some songs. I'll dress up like Dr. Phil. We'll play with some animals. Gonna have some cute dogs, every breed.

[Byron]

And we'll be right back.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll be right back. Giraffes, unicorns. Giraffes, unicorns. You like it? We got it. It's the greatest zoo ever. And people are gonna. And then when. And then when we save the planet and all of humanity and every animal on it, we'll just trash the boat. Why? I don't know. Ceremony. We don't really have a sense of nostalgia.

[Byron]

Imagine the attendance right now, Toledo, like you said at that.

[Brett Vesely]

They built to exact standards by what the cubits and all the crap in the book are. And it's about the size of this room.

[Byron]

No, it's not.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not big. Is it big enough to house all the animals?

[Byron]

Are you.

[Brett Vesely]

Are you that. Are you that daft to look at.

[Byron]

They've got the rooms for the.

[Brett Vesely]

It would have to be the size of Tennessee to have worked.

[Byron]

There weren't that many animals in that area.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, is that right? They just. They got just in that. So after he said just in that area, we missed a few. So then God basically lied and made this guy.

[Byron]

Well, there's a flood.

[Brett Vesely]

Right? Right. So none of it's biblical is what you're saying. It was just some idiot with a boat that saved his region. Yeah.

[Byron]

And the story got a little exaggerated, this guy says.

[Brett Vesely]

I would say so, John. That's the best thing I've heard. Got a little out of hand. One of those bar stories when he got a little bit out of hand. You heard about Noah's boat.

[Byron]

Guy says, john, it's like a Bruckheimer movie.

[Brett Vesely]

It's based on real events. Yeah, but then they throw in all.

[Byron]

The other Pearl harbor love story parts of.

[Brett Vesely]

Does have a little of that. Noah's ark. Can we agree that that one's over?

[Byron]

It's real.

[Brett Vesely]

No. No, it's not. And looking for it's a waste of time. If someday we stumble on it, so be it. But let's not use Any resources at all and manpower looking for it. It's just not gonna happen. If they didn't save it, what are we looking for? Come on. It's hard to have that kind of foresight, John. To realize it's gonna be the most important thing in the world in the history of history. And they just let it go. Whoops. Didn't you tie up the ark that super. What if it happened? I gotta build a new ark. Who's the asshole left the ark untethered? Where's the ark? Sorry, dad. I was gonna take the broads out on it and I crashed it. Boats and hoes.

[Byron]

Give some pretty videos.

[Brett Vesely]

Sorry to debunk the Noah's Ark theory for everybody who bought into it. But 23 years of debunking that you needed me today. If you still bought it, John, you're crazy. Noah's Ark is real. That's where ghosts and Sasquatch come from. John, every ancient culture has a great flood story and someone saving a group of people and animals. Which tells anyone using logic. There was more than one Noah quote unquote, sir.

[Byron]

And that's how humanity.

[Brett Vesely]

None of them saved their boat. Not one saved their boat.

[Byron]

Christianity. We found one story and twisted it.

[Brett Vesely]

To suit their needs. Everybody twists the story to suits their needs and nobody looked at. The second you start asking questions, you're like, oh, I'm giving this story cancer. Like questions are killing it.

[Byron]

Fu.

[Brett Vesely]

Guys, the ark is real. Bigfoot has it hitting at his pad.

[Byron]

No one knows.

[Brett Vesely]

Sasquatch would have to have been there. I know some other guy with a boat similar over on the other side of the world did the same thing. Didn't save his boat either.

[Byron]

John, I don't want to jump back.

[Brett Vesely]

To last week, but you know this supports Brady's theory of alligators and crocs living together. At least for a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much taming would he add? The done. Stop it. Hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, guys. It's a big mission here. I don't need you guys.

[Byron]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Right, Giraffes.

[Byron]

You get your heads out this hole.

[Brett Vesely]

I cut and you can't move around much. But trust me, it's for your best.

[Byron]

Who needs a treat? It's in your best interest doing that Caesar Milan.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, and then God sprayed him with that bee fog to keep everybody calm. What a mess that story is logical adults.

[Byron]

The Russell Crowe version was the.

[Brett Vesely]

What were the birds there for? They didn't need it. Fly around for a few days, dry place to land. No, you don't If God's making magic, they just give him extra powers of flight till the flood subsides. Stupidest story I've ever heard. And people like, no. God damn it. It's real. We're looking for the boat. Stop it. Cure cancer. Maybe the cure of cancer's on Noah's Ark. I'm gonna kill you. Stop it. Can we just stop it? We'll advance as a people so much faster if we put these things away.

[Byron]

John. No joke here.

[Brett Vesely]

That Tennessee one you're talking about had to close for quite a while because of a flood. Is that true?

[Byron]

Better.

[Brett Vesely]

The stupidest story in the history of man.

[Byron]

Poor design.

[Brett Vesely]

It's so bad. It was just a bad design. Just a bad design. It's 828. There you go. Oh, the Noah's Ark searches.

[Byron]

Keep it up.

[Brett Vesely]

It makes me feel like I'm from the future. Are you this dumb society? Really? I'm not that bright a guy, but this seems like something we should dismiss. All these people, all the same people were so like, I'm not putting that vaccine in my body. You believe so many weird things. And then this one's like, no, no, that's. That's legit. Alex Jones doesn't tamper around with Noah's Ark. It's too far fetched.

[Byron]

Even the ginger warrior.

[Brett Vesely]

You're big on that. Yeah.

[Byron]

Well, like, what would it say, like if someone like a person was born and they're the freak of nature? You got all these people and one is seven foot seven.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd be legendary.

[Byron]

Legendary. Like he's a freak. Let's. You're living in that cave. You don't put in that cave that.

[Brett Vesely]

The Indians what killed the giants you were talking about wouldn't have saved one as a trophy.

[Byron]

Like the hair or the.

[Brett Vesely]

The whole thing.

[Byron]

They might have.

[Brett Vesely]

Really?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Go on. I'm interested in this.

[Byron]

If they find an old Paiute village.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[Byron]

Maybe they find some stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, an old village.

[Byron]

So it's just they do show these timeout. It shows the sandal. Like the sandal things. And I could say, well, well, if that area got snow, maybe they're like snow shoes.

[Brett Vesely]

But they're big time out.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Are piutes still a thing?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, so no piutes throughout time. Saved the giant.

[Byron]

No, they shoved them in the cave.

[Brett Vesely]

They got them in the cave because they didn't want anyone to know they're awesome feet. No civilization does that.

[Byron]

Giant handprints in the caves.

[Brett Vesely]

They hid it from society. Them slaying giants. And then went on about their business, never talking about it until 1930.

[Byron]

I'm afraid they're redhead.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. That's right. Because if they ever talk about them, they might come back. The plan.

[Byron]

They're nothing but tall. They're uncoordinated.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. A bunch of Sean Bradley's.

[Byron]

Yeah. They're like get in this cave.

[Brett Vesely]

You gotta stop. You gotta stop doing that and then digging your heels into believing it. Just don't.

[Byron]

It's the first time I've ever heard them.

[Brett Vesely]

I know. Which makes it a lie. You wouldn't have heard that if they found giants in 1912. We'd have known about it if it was confirmed. It has been debunked, I guarantee it. The cave of Las Vegas giants. Stop it. It's 8:31. Well, it's a Paiute stomping grounds. Yeah. It's stupid. And they're still around. There we had that cave with them giants. If it weren't for us, we'd be overrun by them. You guys have one? No. Why not? I don't know. Didn't think it was a big deal.

[Byron]

They've got some arrowheads. Why would we keep wolves?

[Brett Vesely]

We find arrowheads and we save giant. A giant's body. And we're like, eh, throw that away. This is the dumbest morning of my life.

[Byron]

You're killing business, bro.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's 8:30. It's like the thing down there and wherever that i10 when you're driving, come see the thing. Oh yeah, yeah. And it's just some Indian. They found a dead Indian. They put him in formaldehyde because it's ugly and it makes it look like it's alien. But it's gross. It's just a dead person. What is it? And I'm like, I think you found a decomposing corpse and you saved it in its current state. You're trying to pass it off to is an alien.

[Byron]

And that thing's not a giant by any means.

[Brett Vesely]

No. It might be an infant. Yeah. It's tiny little like the little pet poost. They pulled it out of Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. The best of Hombre's Morning sickness. I'm Maddie akupd. Well, this isn't an appropriate song at all all, is it? This is almost mean.

[Byron]

Maybe he has an announcement.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's true. I didn't think of that. I don't. I don't think that'll happen.

[Byron]

But he wouldn't have any problems funding his campaign.

[Brett Vesely]

No, he's doing all right. Financial, I don't think. I think that when you've made $400 billion on scaring the hell out of everybody, that being present's really a good idea. Let's see. I. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe he's going to commit us. Come on in here. He's brought a friend with a moment. No. Let's have a minute. Ladies and gentlemen, former vice president and leading authority on global warming, Mr. Al Gore. Come on in here, Al.

[Byron]

Daddy.

[Brett Vesely]

Happy B Day, Al. Great to be here. 67 today. Looking good. Students are always talking about me as they drive around in their Priuses. And I just get so excited coming back to asu, seeing all that Asian puss now that Tipper and I aren't together anymore. Where the hell have you been? Well, I've been hanging out on college campuses, trying to tell kids they're all dying. Nobody wants to hear it. Nobody wants to hear old Al. You're out of the spotlight, that's for sure. So I'm trying to deliver a little wham thought to the meat crew, if you know what I'm saying. Let kids know that those polarized cats are melting. And you know what that means. Polar bears are having to swim to your house, Portland. So get used to it. They're on their way.

[Byron]

I just saw there's swarms of flies in Alaska now because the temperatures are so warm.

[Brett Vesely]

It's swarming. It flies in Alaska. Mainly because Sarah Palin's up there and she doesn't clean herself properly. Let's be honest. She's disgusting. Driving around her SUV and honking up the air with their emissions and trouble and shooting guns and eating coyotes. Any big announcements today? I don't have any announcements. It's kind of mean. You guys play this song. I never really had this played for me at any given time. Almost, though. That's true. We almost almost Made me president by accident.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I always travel with Al. He's a party waiting to happen. He always hangs out at college campuses, which I love. And of course, he's always scaring the hell out of these girls, which means afterwards, they need somebody to talk them back down. And that's why I come along.

[Byron]

You guys rooming together now?

[Brett Vesely]

What? Roomies. It's better than my. I mean, look, he's better looking than the woman I was rooming with. That's. Hillary's hideous. Yeah, that's true. Now that I'm a single swinging dick and I like to get on the puss. Bill's teaching me how to get around the college girls. But you're such a downer. I mean, you're always talking about how everybody's dying, like everybody's going to flood up and we're going to get eaten by the wasps. Nobody wants to hear that. There's one of parties like the 90s all over again. It is. Word back. Shady's back.

[Byron]

Bill, are you excited that McDonald's is talking about serving breakfast all day long?

[Brett Vesely]

I am excited. Whenever McDonald says we're open another hour. That. That's exciting. I could just get in here for a second. What the. I've been traveling around with Clinton. I have to.

[Byron]

Oh, man.

[Brett Vesely]

Traveling around with you and your son, making a big party out of the Bush family and me. That's because we're good friends. I don't want to brag or anything, but we always travel together as former presidents and almost presidents. Right out.

[Byron]

You guys are in for spring training, aren't you?

[Brett Vesely]

I just can't shake that guy right there. So we're here right now. It's a little warm, isn't it? You noticed how hot it's been this spring?

[Byron]

Is it part of it?

[Brett Vesely]

It's part of it. That's called climate change now, isn't it? Soon. Because the climate is different. All of you be living with ravenous meat, eating snakes. See, that's what I'm talking about. Nobody wants to hear about this crap. They will grow to great lengths because they're the only ones that can survive in such a climate. And they're going to try to take all of your meals and your children and eat them. Unless you buy wind power and solar energy. And of course, trade in your SUV for Priuses and Coopers.

[Byron]

So we could be eating coyotes.

[Brett Vesely]

That doesn't sound so bad. Really? Think about it like coyote on good sandwich with some American fat sauce, little ranch dressing. You know what I mean? Yes, you could eat coyotes, but more than likely, with the climate change the way it is, coyotes will be eating you. This is what I'm saying. You are of a downer.

[Byron]

He's scared.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, this guy's not really an uplifting character. So you guys have been traveling the world, huh? Seeing all types of different places. I go everywhere. I've seen it all. And now I will get into my machine. I have invented a machine that takes me into my machine, into the future, and I can see into the future of climate change. And I will describe what I'm looking at. You tell me what city I'm in. In the city I stand in the year when the machine spits it out, it'll tell me. There it is. Whoa. The year is 2032. And now I'm gonna stand in the city. It's. Oh my, what a glorious town. I recognize it already. Let's go the phones and see if anyone's here to help. Hi there. Who's this? Steve. How are you, Steve? I'm good. Hi, Steve. Sorry about the downer. He's real trouble. When's the last time you got decent pounds, puss? Nobody wants to know about that. In future, decent puss doesn't exist. What? What? Climate change has closed all of the female body parts into just big Barbie doll types. Look at where I am, Steve. We can't look around the radio. A magnetic city of lights draws travelers looking across the Eiffel Tower. But it is underwater. And I'm ravaged by snakes and sharks because of the melted polar ice caps. Paris. Paris is correct. That's one. Nice job, softball. Just wanted to see if you knew something.

[Byron]

So the frogs will be underwater.

[Brett Vesely]

All the frogs are dead, Brady. Oh, what year is it again? That doesn't sound like such a bad thing. There is a good side to global warming. And there ain't no more freshman American fried. They're just. They're just nothing but sea blockers. Anyway. They're smooth. Here I am standing in the year 2032 and all your SUVs are underwater as I look out at what used to be a beautiful opera house. And now it's just 38 foot sharks and dead bodies everywhere.

[Byron]

A sharknado.

[Brett Vesely]

Look, a didgeridoo. And a dead aborigine. Where am I? Any idea, Steve? I don't know. The opera house. Dead aborigines. Didgeridoos. Africa. 38 foot sharks. Africa. Africa's incorrect. Eric's not helping you at all. So long, Steve.

[Byron]

W just fell off the couch trying to take a selfie.

[Brett Vesely]

Just trying to get this thing up. Man, this makes you dizzy holding the phone overhead like that. How do you get this thing to turn around?

[Byron]

Figuring out that selfie stick.

[Brett Vesely]

Jason's on the phone. How are you, Jason? I'm doing very well. When's the last time you had decent purse? I can find you some puss. It's now that Tipper's gone, I'm still alone. I'm just a swinging dick out on the town. I'm trying to change it, but he is depressing, I'll tell you that. Jason. That is for sure. Jason, what kind of. What kind of car do you drive a Cummins. A what? Dodge 2500 Cummins. Oh, about seven miles to a gallon. You're just peeking filth into the air and killing birds on a daily basis. But I look like a man, Mr. Dorsey. Is that more important? I'm a man surviving. Yeah. I mean, men don't care about the environment. That's proof of that. He's right about that, Al. Nobody cares about this garbage you spill. You don't care about fracking or polarized caps.

[Byron]

Not well.

[Brett Vesely]

We live in Arizona, so there's no ice anywhere. So that's meals. He's got you there.

[Byron]

Out.

[Brett Vesely]

You're screwed. This guy's brilliant. I shouldn't be vice president. That is a lot more fun. Look at where I'm standing in the year 2032. Buckeye helmets floating down the Olentangy River. There's Brady's mom and dad rowing down through the Victoria's Secret national headquarters. Giant eels and snakes are the only residents of this town in Ohio. France. France. Ohio. France. Ohio. France is incorrect.

[Byron]

Oui, oui.

[Brett Vesely]

This town in Ohio. France. Maybe it's better more people died out. Think about it. We'd get rid of all these idiots who think. Look, if you think the polar ice caps melt, we get flooded, and these folks find their way out, you're wrong. So only the smart survive. It's almost better if we flood them out. Might have a point there, Mr. President. Bill wants me to plug his new app. Do it. Slick Willie's app. Get it at itunes stores. You got more puss than a Bengal tiger on that thing. Just swipe left. They'll show up in five minutes. That's already been done, hasn't it, Mr. President? I don't know. I like Clinton Tinder. It's Clinder.

[Byron]

Oh, boy.

[Brett Vesely]

Swipe left. It's all girls. There isn't even an option to swipe right. The fat girls, skinny girls, whatever's on there, it'll do you. It's all girls in berets. Chicks and berets. Blue dresses, look like they had babies. But they haven't. All right, you're losing people. I'm not. You're losing people. Nobody wants to hear your crap, Grant. That's not true. You care about the environment, don't you, Grant?

[Byron]

I do.

[Brett Vesely]

And happy birthday, Al. Thanks for the Internet. Finally, somebody says, happy birthday and thank you, property, because I invented the Internet. That was very nice of you. I did it with wind and solar power, and you guys are ruining it by plugging it in. Are you ready Grant. What kind of car do you have, Grant? Is it an suv? No, it's a Toyota Camry. Toyota Camry. That's not too bad. That's better. You don't look much like a man, though. I'll say that. That is true. Kind of rude to get any puss in that car. I'm married, so not really.

[Byron]

Nope.

[Brett Vesely]

You're out. Yeah, I know how that is. Never stopped me, but I know how it is. Yeah. By the way, I started another thing. I'm doing a lot of videos around the world as Al travels with me. And doing jobless girls going wild. There's a lot of people out there don't have work. They just stand in DES lines. They'll do anything for money, I bet. Go over to the DES with a camera and say, hey, for five bucks or a sandwich or something, you show me them tee toss and I want to give you some money. And these chicks are starving for cash in the DES line of Smith again. This is not the way to do it. All right, here we go. Good luck. Look where I am in the year 2032. Hobos and hookers. They're floating right here where Dick Clark used to sit every New Year's Eve. New York City. Close enough. Had to throw another stop out there. The last guy screwed me. Probably a good idea. Good luck to you in the next one. Where are you heading now, Al? I'm heading off in my machine to someplace else. Here we are in the new place. Well, there's a little point sticking out of the water as this town's flooded completely. Tiny little point with lights on. It used to be some type of monument.

[Byron]

It.

[Brett Vesely]

And there's dead Lincoln. He floats around. Just a giant statue of a man. Used to mean everything to this country. But now he lives underwater with sharks and eels floating dead black people all over the place. And look, Washington D.C. wow, there's the clue. Wasn't the monuments. No, no. It was the black people. The floating black people. Because it's heavily popular by the African American. That's the truth. All right, good luck to you. One more and you're the champion. Are you ready? Ready. All right. I don't know if I could do that one. Check it out. I think I just tripped on something as I swam across the bay. Oh, I sure did. It's a big orange bridge. That's pointless. That's exactly how easy were those? I had to give it to that guy. He was quick. A lot better than that dude who thought Ohio had a city called that Opera House. One that was. Of course it was everybody.

[Byron]

He's going for extra.

[Brett Vesely]

That's exactly right. Now he's gotten four. Right. Well, you're just amazing in your Toyota camera that gets 27 miles to the gallon. Thank you for everything. You have a wife? What kind of car does your wife have? Scion. You people are decent human beings. You have wind energy in your home? No, but we just open the the door and let the breeze go by. Isn't that marvelous? Just a better way to live. And with global warming, it's gonna be 140 degrees in here, so these breezes at 100 are gonna feel nice soon. Trust me. Hold on, Eric. You have a terrible car. Brady, your car just pukes. Fills in the air on a regular basis. Meanwhile, you're smoking just about every animal that exists on the planet, so you're not helping at all. You're going to the opposite.

[Byron]

I use wind energy. My backside.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Byron]

Thank you, Bill.

[Brett Vesely]

Who is this lady over here? She is Ryan. That's Brady. Oh, my God. You put on 10 more pounds. I got something I would seriously consider shoving stuff in. That's a boy over there.

[Byron]

What are you talking about?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God. It just never ends, sir. You guys are hilarious. Are you serious? I'm sorry, sir. Just don't want to shove stuff in him. Not as much as I did, no. But he does have the proper build.

[Byron]

Why is w talking to the Coke machine?

[Brett Vesely]

Just talking to Coke machine. I wasn't talking to the Coke machine. I was coaxing the Coke machine. Take my dollar. Nothing. Then I realized it wasn't even dollars. Piece of newspaper. That was pretty dumb. All right, let's get out of here. We're walking to our next radio station. Alternative lives. Every single person that listens to that station drives a Prius. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erected. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD and another health thing last night I saw in the news, which I found hysterical. Have you heard of the viral honey sex trend? The hell is that? So, okay, so viral honey is a thing you can buy. I. It's at a gas station. You go to a gas station and get viral honey. And it's basically, it's one of those supplements for, you know, it says it's going to enhance your sexual evening. Like those gas station pills. Yeah, they're gas station boner pills. Right. But whether they work or not, I would never. I don't know if you want to.

[Byron]

Take that with the Horny goat weed.

[Brett Vesely]

Right? It's kind of a horny goat. I always thought it was a horny goat weed. It's kind of a joke, and it's not really a thing. But this. These. These honey things, they weren't so in the news, you know, they. They put out a statement that said. Because evidently college kids have jumped all over this. And they basically told these college kids, all right, this has a tada. Tadafil or something like that, which is an active ingredient.

[Byron]

The dollar fill.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, something like. It's an active ingredient in boner medication. And it's. And so the dude on the thing said, it will increase your erections even if you don't have erectile dysfunction, and it'll enhance your sexual pleasure. And we're warning you college kids not to take this because it could interrupt with antibiotics or high blood pressure medicine. And they interviewed a college kid, and he goes, I'm still doing it. Like, what college kid is on HBP and worried about his. Or if he's on antibiotics, it's because he's getting laid so often, he's got the clap. Yeah, he's got something dripping. He didn't care. And all these college kids interview were like, yeah, that's it. And all they did last night to Channel 3 was tell everyone these gas station ED supplements work. And they work really well. Be careful. Like, oh, okay. So if you're like, 60 and you need it and you got high blood pressure and you're on. You know, you've got the. I don't think you should take any gas station supplements. If in the morning you have to crack open a plastic day, it's. What is today? T. Th. You have to crack open your th. Do you have one of those? You don't have a pill box?

[Byron]

Do you have a pill? I do.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you have a th. You took your th this morning, and tomorrow you take your f. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, you're not allowed to have gas station supplements because you got too many things that you have to sort out during the week.

[Byron]

Supplements in there.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you have ED in there?

[Byron]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

No. Why not pop them in there? If you're gonna start cramming daily, you're not a lot. Sure you can. Well, you can't. You got the high blood pressure meds, so it'll screw that up, but, yeah, you can take it daily. Why not? Why couldn't you? It's harmless. And that's basically what they said last night. There won't be any terrible side effects to you doing this. It's a harmless thing. But I'm warning you right now, college kids, your erections and sexual pleasure will be 10 times bigger with these gas station things. Be careful. And maybe it is a different time because all your kids got so fat. But I don't think there's a lot of college kids out there on high blood pressure meds enough so to put a warning out to all of ASU to say so. Guess what? Just the high fives that are going on over at Honey Packet. The best commercial I've ever heard in my life last night. The best by far. It's like, it works. The one thing it taught me is that they actually have boner pills you can buy at Kwik Trip that get the job done.

[Byron]

They're out right now.

[Brett Vesely]

There's no way that's gonna be off the shelves by the time I'm done with this break. There's no question people right now are going in for their coffee. And that weird, you know, weird rotation hot dog, that scratcher.

[Byron]

The rollers.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the roller hot dogs that should never be eaten. Those things are boner killers. And that's why you've got high blood pressure, by the way, because you're eating those. Those things out of the. That's the one thing they should warn people. Stop eating the food that they cook at convenience stores. Don't eat food that's been on a heater and a roller for a while. That other people. People could have gone, nah, I'll take the one behind it. I'm putting this one back. Yeah, Available to the public. Roller Wieners. Just break that machine. That's the danger in a gas station. The truth is, get them today. Honey Packets. Evidently it works. I see those commercials on TV where they're talking about how the solid fill or whatever, the boner for the actual like Viagra. It's like $300 a pill. But you can buy them from us for 19 cents. Like, wow, that seems. Now you don't even do that. Just go to the gas station and get a boner. It's gonna be a Palladio band next year. Roller Wieners. Roller Wieners is. That's a great band, right? And you could just see the hot dog on roller skates and. But yeah, telling ASU students, see your blood pressure medicine and your day to day cholesterol pills will get affected by these amazing pills that make your already solid boners even better. Don't take it. You want to bang a college girl with an extra hard dick. What's wrong with you? They didn't because nobody. Now they're. Now the real problems are going to start because the 60 year olds are finding out about this stuff and they are on the pills. If you're cracking open th this morning and your index finger and your middle finger are scooping out your three pills for the day to keep you alive, don't eat gas station wieners and don't take supplements that you got at the Kwik trip unless you're not at all concerned about your blood pressure, which by the way, most of you aren't. That's why you're on pills rather than just getting rid of the blood pressure problem. It's ridiculous. But don't take your boner. And college kids go nuts. I want to hear. This is good. And finally, the next generation, which has wildly disappointed me with their sexual statistics. They don't have it anymore. It's not important. They like to cuddle. We heard that the other day that the Gen Z's big. Like what Brett said a bunch of. Maybe they're already incredible erections. Need to be even better.

[Byron]

69. All right, 69 of freshmen, class of freshman class coming into college. Harvard specifically. Well, there are virgins.

[Brett Vesely]

Go hang yourself. It's up 11%, 70% of harest class.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Go get the honey packs immediately. I'll tell you this. I didn't realize until I in the last couple years took one of the blue pills. I never tried one. Try it. Oh yeah, Just to beat off. You haven't had. Does it just not go away or what? Nope. You just realize what you used to be, but then you get depressed about it like a little bit, a little bit of that. It's like, oh, I've been. I've been cheating myself for a long. If you're. They're better for you. If your stuff already works, Brady, you would take it and it would just go back to what like a normal one is.

[Byron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

He's staring at me with his mouth wipe. Really? But like if you already get decent ones, or you think like I'm still. I can still do. Take one of these things. You're like, oh yeah, welcome back, old friend. It reminds you. It's totally different. And it's like, it's mad. What are those little blue pills? Yeah, let's play one of those. I gotta. I gotta go get one. Go get. I'm not kidding. But then you start thinking, I need to start doing this a lot. This is the only. And then you just enjoy your own company. Doesn't even have to Be for anybody else. You're just laying there, going to pop one of these pills when the mood strikes. But don't take it before bed. I did that too. You take a night. No, it wakes you. It wakes you angry. It's like having a little. It's like having a friend with a Napoleon complex. And he just went to the gym. Watch this. And he shows up huge, right? Wake up. I want to wrestle. Jesus Christ.

[Byron]

Ow.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, if I do this, hurry up. Make me puke. All right. And then he stays there for a little while after. He's like a house guest today. Like you're done. Like you used to. Go away. Yeah, well, I'm hanging around for a little while. You got a problem with that? Dude, I just towed off. I want to get some rest. One more step. Watch tv. Like hanging out with Meathead or something. Yeah, it is. Then he's just there with his arms crossed. Hanging off your middle once. Really? All right, Lay down. I'm not. I don't feel like laying down. It does. And I'm telling you from experience, just on a goof. And when you already get good ones, this. This does something. So the news taught me last night and the greatest ad I've ever seen in my life, that those honey pack pills are what? That's the one to buy. But if you're. Again, disclaimer. If you're. If you have a little plastic box of day to day medicine, you're not capable of doing stuff like this. Don't. But if you're a normal person.

[Byron]

It says consult.

[Brett Vesely]

Consulting. Just don't do it. Your physician's gonna go. Don't. What are you doing? What are you doing? You got. Do you want your heart to stop? Do you want to mess around? I don't. You have to eat real pills.

[Byron]

If you're eating the roller hot dogs. Go ahead.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's what I'm saying. If roller hot dogs are interesting. That's why you're on high blood pressure medicine and that's why your dick doesn't work in the first place. The dominoes start with you needing, you know, to take care, take better care of yourself. Maybe you're. Maybe your wiener will work again. I'm not talking about people whose wieners don't work. I'm talking about people whose wieners do. Channel was that. I'm gonna. It was channel three. It was three five. It was three five. And I think it was the five o' clock or the five. The five was the same news. They just do them both. Man, oh, man. So there you go, college kids. Keep it in mind. This one says if you back of the package of the honey pack says if you have an erection that lasts longer than eight hours. Not the traditional four. If you have an erection that lasts longer than eight hours, the only way to get rid of it is playing immort Emo. Oh, yeah, Media boner. He's right. Emergency deflation. It's true. But yeah, I'm proud of those kids. This just in. John ran into one of those guys in Dandar. Is this it?

[Byron]

Royal Honey.

[Brett Vesely]

It might be a commercial. Yeah, that's it. Royal Honey. That's the one. Okay, so this is what they look like right here. They're just. And then they put kind of a hot girl named Michaela up there to tell us about the boner pills. She just went to a local gas station and were able to pick them up. But all you have to do essentially is rip them open and then take it orally. So over the last couple of months, experts do say that the use of these honey packets at college campuses has skyrocketed as an asexual enhancer. But the FDA does warn it could lead to serious health issues and claims it contains several harmful hidden ingredients. No, it doesn't. Today I'll be trying two honey packs to see what happens. Nerd. You know, you know, it's become a bro trend. It's a bro trend the bros are getting, but once you take it, your boners are going to get ridiculous. What is one thing that was sent in a BYU student Tacoma that we do here at acu? Probably taking honey packets. The trend also making its way to asu. She's not bad. With a recent video about the product going viral. So we're finding that college students across the United States. This dude can't get laid at all. He's upset that other dudes are getting good boners or smoke shops to enhance their sexual experience. While this growing trend may seem harmless, in 2017 the FDA advised people not to purchase the Royal Honey VIP. They say these packs contain the hidden ingredient tadalafil, an active ingredient found in some erectile dysfunction medications. Right. There's interactions that this medication can have with antibiotics, heart medications, blood pressure medications that can cause serious. What college kids on those. Why are you warning college? Daniel Bush with the Cornerstone says shouldn't necessarily be used by students to up their game. Taking a medication that's prescribed for erectile dysfunction unprescribed can lead to actual long term erectile dysfunction. No, it can't despite these warnings. Okay, long term. You're telling college kids that long term erectile dysfunction is. It's down the road. And whether take it or you don't like, here's something you can try. It's experimental. It's, you know, people's curiosity. I think it could be fun. I don't feel like there's. She's hot con of taking it like negative effect. Yeah. So what might be causing the growing trend among students? I think maybe the increase comes from can fall into the realm of pressure from social media or just completing a trend. As the product becomes increasingly popular among college campuses, experts warn students to proceed with caution. When you think of this being in a honey packet rather than a tablet, it makes me think of things like flavored nicotine. That can be. That's right. That's what this cancer children painting it as a happy fun thing. It is. Boners are happy, fun medication. That needs to be some roller wieners. And that's because Mr. Bush there is already behind the eight ball with that face of his. So it's. He's mad at people with good boners having a fun time. Maybe make sure you look at the ingredients first just to really see what's in there. Again, it can kind of interfere with some medications that people may be taking. If you have diabetes, maybe you're taking some blood pressure. Blood pressure medications. Because all those college kits that are all loaded up on heart pills and stuff like that. Well, you know, I mean, but it does. It doesn't affect your fentanyl high. So you're fine college kids. Don't worry about it. It'll actually counter it out. Yeah. Now you can get a hard on with fentanyl. Imagine. All I know is that honey packets. Royal honey works. She's getting big. Hey, hey, hey. I like that they went to ASU though, and they interviewed a bunch of hot girls. Nick, what do you think? I think it could be fun. I think it would be. I mean, if his boner can get even harder. Yeah, I'm interested. Don't do it, kids. It just makes sex better. And your erection amazing. The girl won't. She won't be able to get enough of you. Please stop this crazy trend. There's a bunch of different, like different honeys now. I guess that's like the new thing. Yeah. Cuz college kids are sucking it up like crazy. It's not embarrassing to them at all. It's like look, dude, extra boner. Yeah, it's like the boys. It's like a Compound V. You've got a soup dick. Anyway, it works. So. Greatest commercial of all time. Royal honey, you're welcome. We're on the trend with you. I'm gonna get some. I'm gonna try. I know. I feel like. Let's go to the gas station right now. Let's send. We'll send. We'll send Madeline over to grab it for us on her way in. We'll get our assistant to go down there. Hey, grab us a bunch of boner pills. You're going to look like a. But go into the store and get like 12 of those. I'd like. I don't want to do that. That would make me look like I'm an absolute. You'll get a tip. Come on, just do what we said. All right. I guess so.

[Byron]

Is it in that hot honey?

[Brett Vesely]

Brady, Brady, Brady. It's not for. Don't go for the.

[Byron]

I already got hot honeys.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't have to worry about the flavor of it. This is not actually for your toast. Not putting it in your teeth, just drinking it straight up. You don't put it in anything. No, it's not a food supplement. It's a boner pill. I already got hot honey. I don't need that. That stuff gives me a bone. All I have to do is look at the bottle. You be careful. I'm warning you. That's who the news should have been talking to. College kids. You can use it all you want. You're healthy. And then you do. You know, you have the cross eyed weirdo that's sitting there at the health department going, well, that's long term effects of taking erectile pills is real erectile dysfunction. Let me tell you as a 52 year old man who never took any, you still don't get as good a boner now as you used to. So it doesn't matter what you took then and what you're doing now, it ain't the same. It's not?

[Byron]

No. It doesn't improve.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait till you power up with one of these pills. You're gonna be like God damn. And you know. Yeah. That's why Frank Thomas, at the end.

[Byron]

You become a junkie. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm turn you off because you're going to talk. You're going to talk about this like it's bad. Yeah. Maybe you will become a junkie. A junkie with a great big boner. That's why at the end Frank Thomas always goes, she'll like it too. And he's chilling some powder. That does maybe neutrogenics White Sox hall of Famer. I'm in. Doug Flutie and Frank Thomas are golf talking to another dude about, like, hey, dude, 50. It's not as good as you thought it was. And remember the guy standing there, he's kind of dough, he's fat, he let himself go. He goes, ever Since I turned 40, things aren't the same. And he goes, oh, yeah, power down. A couple of these, you'll get. Frank Thomas is carrying the lumber again. You'll break her pelvis with this stuff. Kids, I'm proud of you college kids. Finally you're doing something that makes me feel like you're college kids again. I was proud of him yesterday, walking around the campus, asking, hot girls, do you want your boyfriend to have an even better boner? Well, yeah. Yeah, that would be kind of fun. Does he have high blood pressure? No, he's in college. Why would he have that? I mean, I wouldn't date. That would mean he's a giant mess. Just bought 7 packs of viral honey. Now to find a whore. Yeah, don't even do that. Somebody ask, you pull over in your F150 and tug one out at Papago park like you're a priest. Just throw one down. It's amazing with this stuff. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio. Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh, wow. How about that? Says Japanese fiance told me that US foreigners, that's Americans, apparently, have softer wieners than the Japanese men. Wow. Maybe it's their diet. Maybe it's the pixelation, too. Do they have a huge high blood pressure and thing going on over there in Japan? I don't think so. They don't have a big fat nation. They eat a lot of fish. Pixelation. They pixelated because they don't want us whites to see how great those things look. Gotta report. The honey packs definitely work.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man. Can you imagine if, like, Father Dale had those back in the day? Oh, Jesus. That went dark. Yeah, Right on those wafers and stuff. Oh, he's just. Yeah. Spoon a little honey. You want a little honey on some Jesus? Yep. My Jesus wafer tastes funny. Just wait. He's giving the kids boners? Oh, my God, no. Him and all the other priests. Oh, I see. I thought he was giving us.

[Byron]

No, no, no.

[Brett Vesely]

During Communion, he's dipping a few of them in the honey and dropping them in the kid's mouth.

[Byron]

That's what I thought you were going.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, no, no. But I mean, he does have all those crackers, so he's Just spread them out, eat some honey. No. I can't imagine Father Dale with a boner pill. So congratulations, everybody. Yeah. Long term effects. What? College kids like this will damage me in my 40s. You're going to be a screwy mess. Take advantage of your college. That's my advice. Old man advice to a young person, don't listen to any medical professionals about anything. You're. When you talk to a doctor, you're talking to a guy who's internally worried about his age. Usually a doc. A good doctor you go to is probably in his late 30s, middle, late 40s, and they start experiencing midlife stuff. So they look at college kids and go, boy, oh boy, don't do this. You're gonna. Someday you'll know. It's like, no. What we all wish we could do is go back to college and go, I should have done more drugs. I should have screwed around more. My body could take it back then.

[Byron]

Well, there's some advice.

[Brett Vesely]

No, don't. Don't listen to Brady right now. Just listen to me. You go back to college. If you could get in a time machine you do, you'd probably go back and go. Drugs aren't as bad as they tried to sell me. They're okay. You get older, you start doing it. There's more risks.

[Byron]

When you're 20, this fentanyl.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, no, no, no. Why do you have to ruin everything with your goddamn 80 year old mind? You hear what I'm saying? Of course you're worried about it. You shouldn't be. When you're like 21. Fentanyl and heroin, that's different. That's an animal that kills everybody, but don't do it. But again, like the weed thing, it's nothing. You'd learn that later. Like, Jesus, that's literally nothing. It doesn't cause you to want to, you know, run around and, you know, do coke and it just isn't what they say. So when you go back to college, take boner pills in college, drink a little more, have fun. Don't be so worried all the time, because you got plenty of time for that later when the stuff really starts to collapse on your body. What I'm saying is abuse yourself while your body is still in its prime. I wish I'd have done that. I started abusing myself when my body was out of its prime and it caused more trouble later. Should have done all that abusing back when I was younger, but I was taking care of myself. I don't want to do drugs. I remember telling Somebody once. I don't do that. It'll harm my. Please. That was the prime. My body was totally capable of taking a hit. Essentially, when you're about 19, 20, you're like.

[Byron]

That's what you were worried about?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Byron]

The damage you do to your.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no. I was like, oh, could do stop my heart or. No. When you're 20, you're a boxer. In the first round, you can take more punches. You can throw more punches. When you're 40, it's like the middle rounds, kind of like, I don't want to get hit anymore. It's just. It's starting to hurt. Your 50, 60s, you're in the late rounds of the fight, and everything you do is try to. You try not to punch too much because that's starting to hurt. You know, you're not doing any damage, and the punch is coming in feel faster and heavier than ever in your 20s, you're, you know, you're bouncing around, you're light on your feet, you're throwing jabs. You got a lot of shots going on. Take advantage of it. Your body can take more, do more drugs, drink more, be more aggressive sexually. Like, that's the other thing, too, is that they tell you about STDs constantly, and you learn later in life how hard it is to catch one. The only thing they want with the rubbers is you not to have baby. Babies people have to pay for. That's really the whole underlying theme of wear condoms, kids, or sex will kill you. Was we got to stop this whole baby thing because we're paying for a bunch of unwanted kids. We got a big problem, and they have curbed that. They scared kids out of sex in a huge way. Obviously, you didn't watch TV as a kid in the 80s because you'd remember this. Oh, the drugs thing last time, the egg. This is your brain. This is drugs. See? Let me. Let me. This is your brain on drugs. So basically what he's saying.

[Byron]

That looks good.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Any question. Your brain on drugs is a delicious breakfast. Brady would have become an addict. Where's the butter? Get some salt. These drugs look delicious. Yeah. This is your brain. Useless. This is your brain on drugs. It's a completed product. Yeah. I'm not saying abuse it, like overdose, but take some chances and have sex with a couple of sluts, with raw dog, a couple of girls. It's so hard. It's. You know how hard AIDS is to cat. I was worried about aids. We all were. It kept me from doing stuff.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And I wasn't catching aids.

[Byron]

You know, pregnancy kept me from doing stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Pregnancy scared me to death. That was a real one because that's the worst disease you can give someone. Aids. I was actually worried about aids and I wasn't having sex with intravenous drug using anal freaks. These girls were pretty good. You don't want the warts or the herpes and things like that, but if they're not showing, you're fine. It's so hard to catch that stuff. Raw dog away youngsters tolerate it later. What? David Vasquez. No, I can't. I'll print it for you. I don't think we can read it the news and see. That's old people talking to young people. I don't like it. Watching the news last night telling college kids that their boners will get better if they try this. Don't do it. It's the. It'll make you feel good. Good. No, no, no. They constantly told us and if you watch those commercials again, hey, this makes you feel good. Because old people were worried their kids were. They just try to scare you out of it. It's the old tactic of scare them, make them afraid of it. It's religion. They did that job first. If it feels like you should be doing it, it's a sin. Oh, oh no. You have to little edit. No, I have to edit away since me and my girl used to get those honey packs all the time. But it didn't have a name back then. It used to just be written like in Middle Eastern language. Yeah, okay, that's a good way to put it. He wrote something horrible. We just called them horny honeys and they work great. There you go. Yeah, it just be more, just have more fun young. If I could tell people that. And my 90 year old friend Paula, she had advice once and she just goes, Look, I'm 90 years old. And she goes, one thing I regret is we didn't have more sex and we didn't have more fun because we were worried all the time we'd argue about stupid stuff and what we should have done is just take our clothes off and started each other. She goes, so every time I think about that, don't let life's stresses get you down. Have a couple of drinks, relax, nothing's that big a deal and just have more. I even asked her like, what's the biggest regret you've got going on into your 90s? She said I didn't have more fun. I didn't. I mean. And she had holding it Hostage. She had tons of fun. Yeah, yeah, that. She had moments where she's like, she did the. The vagina embargo. Well, he's not going to see that. She's like, I should have never done anything like that. That's a fun activity. We should have never let that be more than. It was just a fun activity that two people enjoy together. Oh. It was a. It was a weapon. It was a political scam. It was dangerous. It was like, stop.

[Byron]

Only designed to have families.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, great advice. I'm not saying break the law like crazy, but have some more fun. And don't listen to the new. Don't listen to old people when they tell you how scary something is. It's only scary to them. They're telling you because they're technically scared. You start taking that stuff, your heart will stop, son. No, no, dad. Yours will. I'm fine. I'm 20. I'm totally. I'm a ridiculously healthy specimen of a human being. You've seen some kids like Jill's son. The kid can't run 10ft. He can't. He's terribly unathletic. He doesn't try. He's shredded. He's like 19. And she's like, look at him. He's got stomach muscles on stomach muscles. He's this little Russian kid. They don't. Don't like working out. They get the. And pe. He called in the middle. They were making him run a lap. He pretended to break both legs. My legs are both broken from all of these activities. And he's just this mountain of a kid. Take some chances, son. Keep running, Stoli. It won't last forever. Pretty soon, it's not gonna be that easy. It's like being a hot girl. You better develop a personality, because when you're 30, it doesn't look the same as it did when it was 20. If you're relying on not working out and just letting it live forever, you're gonna be sorry. You gotta maintain that maintenance. More bone. Don't listen to Brady. He's worried about that. Us normal people are telling you kids your boners can be doubled. Take advantage of this and you know better. If you've got the pillbox every day to start screwing around with expert pills, don't do it.

[Byron]

I'm gonna live a little bit.

[Brett Vesely]

That's personal. No, you shouldn't. You. You've. You shouldn't, because you won't live a little bit. You'll die a little bit bit. Don't do it. You took a th. You took your th pack this morning, and tomorrow you got a crack open Friday, if you've got that going on, you're out of the game. No college kid has his pillbox lined up in his crosses. All right, Today's high blood pressure and cholesterol. And hit the treadmill and get off those pills. You're in your 20s.

[Byron]

It's.

[Brett Vesely]

You did this to yourself. And go get some of those honey packs. You'll start getting girls and you'll blow them away. Brett, go over. You know what? Take a break. Brett. Go over there and grab some of those things. Let's take honey packs today, and then we'll compare. Maybe we'll even tap each other on the tips. Grady, you can watch and then maybe put some on your honeymoon or on your bread, but you're not allowed to eat it. We care about you. We do. We need to get our assistant out there to get us some stuff. Maybe pop over to the IHOP and grab some omelets, too, while we're at it. For Brady, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. Cease and desist at once. The rest of Homeburg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. It is time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining stories he's found. And we call that the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our [e-mail]. they've got gift certificates for the holidays. They're about to celebrate 25 long years of what they do in this beautiful valley. And it's a fantastic thing. $89 for one month. That special is going to keep going for a little while so you can get you guys in there for one month of training. Doesn't matter how many classes you want to take. You want to do one. All right, that's not smart. But they've got tons of them. They offer, and you show up when you feel like showing up. You get on that move and train, and you start training. And it is awesome stuff you can do. Cardio training, bag class, fight skills, knife defense, gun defense. They have all sorts of different training classes that you can get involved in. For 89 bucks, you are getting an unbelievable value. And you're gonna learn how fast you'll get in shape when you're out there. I've had a couple weeks off, and I feel jiggly and gross just because I haven't been out there enough. I gotta get back to it and take a few weeks off to feel like you're missing something. And I know I am. So stop missing out. Start getting involved. Head on over there. Reactdefense.com. that's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Byron]

A trove of unreleased Michael Jackson tapes. A trove.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I thought he said trove. No. Going back to Dick's wife.

[Byron]

A trove of unreleased Michael Jackson.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't hear.

[Byron]

The tapes were found in a storage unit deep in the San Fernando Valley. These tapes are recordings from 1989 through 1991.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, back when he was good, Bad and dangerous era. Oh, there's probably some good stuff on there. But again, maybe not, because he made two albums later without any of this stuff on it. This might be his garbage. I saw that one of the songs was called Son of Thriller. That's true. Oh, you're kidding. That's a real thing? It sounds like I'm joking, but it's true. Maybe it's my prince. Yeah.

[Byron]

This satisfy you? I'm looking at the cassettes.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Byron]

But there's 12 unreleased tracks.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Is any of them called Seven Year Old Butthole? Because we learned about that time was when he was bringing those seven year olds over to. From that documentary. I just like to stare at a butthole. You guys think this is good? No, I'm gonna release it. A dirty little seven year old. Spread your cheeks, be with me. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna be a hit, Michael. I think maybe we should move on to something else. What's that black and white one you were singing earlier? Oh, that's dumb. Nobody wants to hear about the. They want to hear about butts. Little ones. Tiny Brady, please don't sue me.

[Byron]

What's this one? Child Harvest.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's a great song. That's what we were talking about. Like just picking up kids, like growing them in a farm like Neverland Ranch. We could do some DNA testing and then grow them like corn on the cob. And then if they're knee high by the fourth of July, you're a lucky man. I'm getting blown by a child. I believe the children will now blow me. That sounds like a ripoff. I'll do something new.

[Byron]

Meat in the mirror.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's when we were talking about. I'm talking about some meat in the mirror. Put it in me. What's he doing? Thriller just did a thing. Swinging it around. What are you saying? So we do a helicopter. Oh, that sounds sexy. Ooh, helicopter. Boy, I don't like any of Michael's new songs at all.

[Byron]

Bend over.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. That's A little boy named Ben. Ben Dover, you are my new best friend. His name was Benjamin Dover. I just called him Ben. Ben, the two of us needs no more. We both found What? No, nobody wants to hear Ben too.

[Byron]

We're gonna go with PYT instead.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's a good one. Pretty young thing. Nobody got that. I was thinking all about it. Don't be ignorant, Brett. Brett wants to hear from someone. Hey, Brett. That's my little fella, Prince. That's clearly my boy. He. He. Shame. What's going on, Brett? I'm clearly Michael Jackson's son, Prince.

[Byron]

You've been laying down some trash.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I've been laying down the hits, let me tell you. Oh, he's so talented. He would have been the Jackson six. That's right. I could sing with Daddy. Can't I, Daddy? Ben, the two of us need lick new me. Clearly. That's my dad.

[Byron]

See the resemblance?

[Brett Vesely]

We are so much alike, it's creepy. Hard to tell us apart.

[Byron]

Got the red jacket on.

[Brett Vesely]

It's almost like John and Brady.

[Byron]

Can't tell them apart.

[Brett Vesely]

Good one. I get it, Brit. Don't do it, Daddy. I'm already here. People will get confused at who's talking now. I know. It's weird when I tell people call the house and like, hi, Prince, is your dad home? It's like, oh, no, it's me. You got me. Every time I answer the phone, like it's the Jackson residence, they say, michael, we have a new. Nope, you're confusing me with my father. We have very similar sounds. I like the goodbye. That's how he said Southern Jackson. Say goodbye, Brett.

[Byron]

You didn't know that.

[Brett Vesely]

You didn't know that. That's always. That's the calling. That's when you know the conversation's over. All right, Brett, this meeting's over. Yeah, that's right. Is he saying sham and nobody ever knows. Is it Jamoy Shammy? No. No. Let's find the lyrics.

[Byron]

What was that one?

[Brett Vesely]

It's a thing. It's what we all said when we sang it. Prince says it anyway. All right. Maybe the Jacksons will be in the squares together.

[Byron]

O.J. simpson's debts are about to get knocked down a notch unless someone steps up and buys his most prized X rated possessions. Evidently, he accumulated a nice collection of porn magazines in prison. Penthouses. And he took him with him now when he got out. And then he. It moved on to the phone. He doesn't have videos on the phones, but he still kept the magazines and they're in great shape. They're gonna auction off along with some other things that might be sold.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Twitter world, it's real quick, if you wouldn't mind just not doing any DNA testing on those. They are covered in my DNA and that could get me in trouble. Now that technology has gone a little further with that stuff. Just. Just buy the magazines and enjoy the pictures. The pretty pictures tell you that some of these girls. The 2010 pent of the year in Penthouse, I actually had sex with that. And some of these girls still slept with oj. It's crazy, but, yeah, if you don't mind. Just when the pages stick together. Let's just leave them that way. What do you. Would you do me a favor and buy those? And I know you'll keep it quiet. There's some things in there, like, you know, some of the blonde girls. Heads in the pictures are cut off and just, you know, things that would trigger me. It's artistic. Yeah. You know what? I like to look at things and do it. It's a. Maybe they're better to be burned. I think we should probably just burn that.

[Byron]

The other item available, the remainder of his Magnum condoms will be sold.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you have you hadn't used yet? Yeah, all the ones that I hadn't tried on yet. But I did use Magnum spray. I was packing pretty good hog in my day. I'd like to tell you that if you were gonna have sex with oj, it was gonna hurt. But I can make it hurt more. Either way. You were gonna walk out with a sore throat. All right? That's all I'm saying. Magnum condoms and Penthouse magazines are somehow going to pay the Goldmans a little more.

[Byron]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, geez. I kind of wanna. I kind of want. How much is the.

[Byron]

Didn't say.

[Brett Vesely]

Where do I go to Sotheby's or. How do I auction these? These. Do I just make an offer? I got to be the only one interested? Well, you want to buy old rubbers? I would buy the old rubbers and the old OJ's magazines. I put them in a little glass case and a picture of O.J. over the top. It's an interesting. You came to my house like, what's all this? Oh, that's OJ's jerk material. And some condoms he never used. And one he did. Going to put it in a shadow box and hang it on the wall over one of his jerseys and a knife.

[Byron]

The guy, Malcolm Love Vergne, is the one selling him.

[Brett Vesely]

Do I have to call him?

[Byron]

I guess.

[Brett Vesely]

Contact information.

[Byron]

It doesn't say, a website or contact. Maybe he hasn't put it up yet, but he's.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Getting the final permission.

[Brett Vesely]

Would you, like, open it up and you had, like, there was a hair in it, like a pube or something. And then this guy was take it to a doctor and try to rebuild OJ from. From a lab.

[Byron]

He's OJ's.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm the only one it's alive.

[Byron]

Yeah. Malcolm was his longtime attorney and executor of his estate.

[Brett Vesely]

So this whole thing is out there somewhere, but you're not giving me information on how shocking. Well, don't do that. But you're right.

[Byron]

Malcolm hasn't put it out there yet.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, he has. You just read it. Yeah, but look at Thriller sitting there staring at you. He's got a big grin.

[Byron]

Look all you want.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't get indignant about it. This is a problem. We have prison. Meanwhile, you don't have any information on how to do this.

[Byron]

I do not.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. Someday, somewhere you can buy the stuff, auction it off.

[Byron]

Stay tuned.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Stick around like the pages.

[Byron]

Ranker.Com are doing. Voting. And for the greatest boy bands of all time.

[Brett Vesely]

How far back do you go?

[Byron]

Jackson's.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, that's number one. That was what I was gonna go with, number one. And then you got, like, temptations and stuff. Gotta be in there. Are they boy bands?

[Byron]

They're not considered boy bands. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Menudo.

[Byron]

Menudo knot.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's make it in sync. Has to be up there. Backstreet boys are number two.

[Byron]

Probably kids. 1D. Boys to men.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't refer to it. That's what they're called.

[Byron]

Jonas Bros. Stop it.

[Brett Vesely]

Are they Jonas, bro. New Edition. They call them New Edition. Yeah, that's the Wanted. The Wanted. That's a girl band.

[Byron]

Not familiar with.

[Brett Vesely]

No, those guys. Oh, that. That's on Glad you came. Excuse me.

[Byron]

Hanson. All for one.

[Brett Vesely]

You play that at weddings? No, like the shotgun weddings. That should be the theme song for all shotgun weddings that you dj. Glad you came.

[Byron]

Your favorite boy zone.

[Brett Vesely]

I love boys. Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

Oh town. Right after.

[Brett Vesely]

Those are uto or you Big bang. What was the Abercrombie and Fitch guys. Yeah. I like my girls in Abercrombie. And that was such a terrible song. And the one dude's dead. The lead singer died. Like. It's like his liver exploded or something. Uf. It was something like that. Yeah. Oh, my God. They were.

[Byron]

Lady Gaga joins Janet and Michael Jackson become the third artist to have multiple number one hits in three decades on Billboard Hot 100 her song with Bruno Mars, Die With Smiles A, just reached the top of the chart, but she's.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, 2009 and 2020. I guess that's. It's 16 years, but three decades. You were one year of the first one, so it's kind of misleading. You just kind of snuck in, which I get. Works.

[Byron]

But yeah, 2009, 2011.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's the new 2019. So right there, that's two decades. And it's. Oh, she's only been around for 10 years, but it's technically two decades. So when you sneak in.

[Byron]

That's it.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you're done. Lfo. Lfo. Summer Girls was. Did you have that? I can pull it up. Oh, that was. Might get a commercial, though. I'm not interested in that. I just remember being in my friend Joe Roget's house, and that song came on, and the guys on it were all, maybe it wasn't Joe's house. Where was I? But these dudes were all like little male models, but they were. Sorry, Brett. They were so guido. It was like Jersey Shore before we knew about it. Oh, the song was so annoying.

[Byron]

They're hot.

[Brett Vesely]

They were douchebags. Like, immediately. That summer, New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick. My broads were so stupid then.

[Byron]

They're outside of beers and clams.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but the one dude's like, five, four. I don't know which one of them died. It's a sad story, but one of them's dead. I think it was the tiny one. I think he died of sadness from being five' five. Wouldn't be easy. And then his smile was like. Somebody took white out to his Glenn Danzig son. This was a hit as. You're right. Girls in the 90s were dumb. It's like an Adam Sandler song. It's terrible. Anyway, it is an SNL skit, but I'd still bang all three of them before I'd smell Janis Joplin's panties. To make it full circle, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erect 98.