Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (Arizona)
Episode: 12-20-25 – Everyone Has A Crackie That Ruins Holiday Dinners – Brady’s Shrapnel
Date: December 30, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Main Theme
This lively episode focuses on the comedy (and misery) of family holiday gatherings, zeroing in on the infamous family “crackie” – the member who’s struggled with addiction, drama, or jail, and reliably disrupts Thanksgiving and Christmas get-togethers. The crew also dives into misunderstandings about family roles, language quirks, and Brady’s legendary mispronunciations, all in their irreverent, roast-each-other style.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Universal ‘Crackie’ and Holiday Chaos
- Every family has "that one person" who brings drama to the holidays, typically someone with a checkered past.
- John Holmberg introduces an unspoken rule:
“If you have ever been addicted to anything… you do not bring up the holidays first. You’re the problem… shut the F up about the holidays until someone invites you. And if no one invites you, there’s a reason why.” (01:20–02:10) - Panel jokes about evasive maneuvers and "accidental" trips to avoid awkward invites and the guilt-trip of not including problematic relatives.
- Both hosts and listeners recognize the mental stress "crackies" cause, including forced forgiveness and the endless cycle of “second chances.”
- Quote:
“If you’re a normal and you say to your husband or wife, ‘You know, he’s really straightened his life out,’ shut up. You’ve just ruined Thanksgiving for about five people.” — John (06:24)
2. Expanding the ‘Crackie’ Category
- The discussion expands to include alcoholics, attention-seekers, and serial “self-inviters.”
- The panel pokes fun at elaborate family networking to dodge invites:
“Every time you call and say, ‘I’m coming to Thanksgiving,’ four other calls are made ... Everybody’s in cahoots on how to handle you.” — John (09:38–10:06) - Amusing anecdotes about family politics and dividing visits to avoid drama instead of uniting everyone.
3. Thanksgiving Dinner: Food, Fights, and Leftovers
- John relays a story where leftover food becomes a point of conflict:
“My dad at the end of the night brought extra people... We had tons of food... My mom just lost her mind. ‘I cooked all day for this. Goddammit. Somebody taking this stuff home...’” (10:56–11:25) - The frustration of being left with surplus food and cleaning duty.
- “Happy Thanksgiving, everyone out. I woke up. It’s every house. It’s every house every year.” — John (12:35)
- Families split up their get-togethers: some abstain from combining households to avoid multi-drama explosions.
4. The Aunt Joan Incident and Old People’s Ailments
- John shares a particularly gross/funny family story:
“My aunt goes, ‘I’ve got the shingles.’ Huh? Oh, Jesus. She took her shirt off… she’s like coated dragon scales that are currently bleeding…” (07:19–07:43) - The awkwardness that follows when relatives overshare their medical issues at the dinner table.
- “I couldn’t hear ‘breast’ again for another eight hours. Who wants the breast? Has Joan touched it?” — John (08:40)
5. Brady’s Mispronunciations: ‘Shrapnel’ and Beyond
- The group roasts Brady’s creative pronunciations—especially “shrapnel” (as 'shrapnel'), and expands into a section of their favorite language and geography blunders.
- Humorous exchange on pronunciation differences:
- “You’re mispronouncing it correctly. I’m mispronouncing the mispronounce.” — John (17:17–17:28)
- “Brady’s language is prettier than ours. Shrapnel and pyrotechniques. It sounds like a flower field.” — John (18:23–18:30)
- The ongoing debate over local pronunciations (e.g., Tempe) and a lighthearted reminiscence about on-air slipups.
- “He may have shrapnel in his head from some rotten pyrotechnics, but he guarantees…” — John, laughing at their own gaffes (20:01)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On “Crackies” Ruining Holidays:
“If you do and no one’s inviting you, that’s about you, right? ... If you want to go and you’re inviting yourself, recognize you’re a self‐inviter. You’re the worst person on the planet.” — John (09:00) - Family Networking:
“Everybody’s in cahoots on how to handle you.” — John (10:05) - Thanksgiving Leftovers Meltdown:
“I cooked all day for this. Goddammit. Somebody taking this stuff home!” — John quoting his mom (11:20) - Grotesque Oversharing:
“She took her shirt off... she’s like coated dragon scales that are currently bleeding. ... The hug means more to me than the pain. And I’m like, it doesn’t to me.” — John (07:34–08:09) - Brady’s Vocabulary:
“Brady’s language is prettier than ours. Shrapnel and pyrotechniques. It sounds like a flower field.” — John (18:23) - Geography 101:
“Brady thought Ty was Taiwanese. Yeah, when clearly Taiwan is in Australia.” — John (15:10) - On Taking a Stand:
“Somebody makes the stand: ‘He’s not coming to my house, goddammit. Not after last time.’” — multiple hosts (10:15–10:24)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [01:08] – Main discussion starts: Holidays and 'crackie' relatives
- [02:40] – Expanding to alcoholics and drama
- [04:00] – John on not ‘combo’-ing family gatherings
- [06:24] – Second chances and holiday guilt trips
- [07:19] – The Aunt Joan ‘shingles’ story
- [08:39] – Food safety paranoia; ‘breast’ at dinner
- [10:06] – The family invite ‘network’ and handling drama
- [10:56] – Thanksgiving food fights and leftover dramas
- [15:00] – Brady’s “geography” blunders and mispronunciations
- [17:00] – Deep dive on the word ‘shrapnel’ and other “Brady‐isms”
- [18:30–20:20] – Playful squabbling over language, memory, and on-air mistakes
Tone & Language
- Irreverent, fast-paced, and brutally honest; heavy on self-deprecating humor, quick asides, and inside jokes.
- The hosts poke fun at each others' quirks (notably Brady’s), while also unflinchingly calling out the annoyances of real-life family dynamics. The tone is relatable for anyone who’s felt holiday dread or navigated awkward family politics.
Closing Notes
A must-listen for anyone who’s survived (or barely survived) a dysfunctional family holiday—and needs a good laugh about it.
The episode is a blend of tough love, gallows humor, and the KUPD crew’s signature chemistry, riffing on the relatable fact that—crackie or not—everyone’s family is at least a little bit dysfunctional.
