12-20-25 - PART ONE - Pregnant British Couple Finds Out They're Distant Cousins Making Us Wonder If We'd Stay Or How We'd Handle It - BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (Arizona)

Episode: 12-20-25 - PART ONE - Pregnant British Couple Finds Out They're Distant Cousins
Date: December 30, 2025
Host & Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Ronnie
Duration Covered: [01:19] – [19:17]

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the bizarre and provocative true story about a pregnant couple in Britain who, after being married for 12 years, discover they are actually distant cousins. The hosts use this revelation as a springboard into a freewheeling, irreverent discussion on how they (and society in general) might respond in a similar situation. Themes of family, awkward secrets, “cousin love,” and moral boundaries are explored with Holmberg’s signature no-holds-barred humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Discovering You’re Married to Your Cousin

• Story Recap:

  • John Holmberg introduces the article: a British (actually Utahn) couple, while pregnant and searching for baby names, learns via genealogy that they’re closely related: third cousins on one side, first cousins on another ([03:28]).
  • “They've been married for 12 years… she's pregnant… the father of her child is actually her cousin.” – John ([03:29])
  • They opt not to tell anyone before or after the baby is born: “Let everybody fall in love with the baby” before the revelation comes out ([04:04]).

• Utah “Hybrid” Family Trees:

  • The gang jokes about this being common in Utah, riffing on stereotypes about tight-knit families and relaxed attitudes toward cousin marriage ([04:54]).
  • “It's a Utah hybrid. That's a common thing.” – John

How Would You Handle It?

• Hosts’ Reactions:

  • “Nothing changed at all. Couldn't do it. Could not do it.” – John ([06:37])
  • Discussion about whether you should immediately end the marriage, keep it secret, or just continue.
  • Brett: “12 years of bangle.” — suggests sunk cost as an argument for just rolling with it ([05:45]).

• Moral and Physical Response:

  • John and Ronnie debate whether knowing changes feelings or physical reactions: “But once you know it's your cousin… things are different now.” ([07:31])
  • Brett: “I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.” – John ([08:20])

Keeping Family Secrets

• Who Tells? Who Bears the Shame?

  • “You don't tell people you found out your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that…” – John ([16:29])
  • Contingency plans for keeping things in the family, faking amicable divorces, and not notifying the media.

• Bad Advice:

  • “Let my wiener be my guide is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins.” – John ([13:48])
  • Ronnie: “It's the wrong brain.”

Cousin Love & Taboo in Pop Culture

• Recurring News Stories:

  • The hosts comment on how these “cousin love” stories surface regularly in media and why anyone would publicize it ([14:03], [14:25]).

• Twisted Family Revelations:

  • They reference the famous British case where a man marries an older woman only to find she's his biological mother—and they stay together ([14:51]).

Porn Jokes & “Step” Family Scenarios

• Satirical Riffs on Porn Tropes:
  • The show detours into jokes about stepsibling and step-parent scenarios in porn, lampooning how taboo topics have become normalized in online adult content ([17:03]–[18:38]).
  • “You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister isn’t your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.” – John ([17:27])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | [03:29] | “They've been married for 12 years. She's pregnant. They just found out their first cousins. That's some not paying attention.” | John Holmberg | | [05:45] | “12 years of bangle.” | Brett Vesely | | [06:36] | “12 years, we got a baby on the way. Does this make me love—nothing’s changed.” | John Holmberg | | [08:20] | “I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.” | John Holmberg | | [13:48] | “Let your wiener be your guide is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins. It's a bad time to let your wiener be your guy.” | John Holmberg | | [16:29] | “You don't tell people you found out your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that, you get a weird divorce…” | John Holmberg | | [17:27] | “You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister isn’t your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.” | John Holmberg |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• The Big Reveal: Discovering You're Cousins [01:19] – [04:54]
• Reactions/How Would You Handle It? [06:01] – [08:34]
• Family Secrets and “Damage Control” [14:25] – [16:48]
• Jokes on Pop Culture/Step-family in Porn [17:03] – [18:38]

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Tone & Style

The crew maintains their trademark irreverent, unfiltered style—openly joking about taboos, making outrageous analogies, and continually relating the bizarre news to their own hypotheticals. The banter blends genuine moral discomfort with lampooning absurdities both in real life and media.

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Takeaways

• Even the most bizarre, taboo situations prompt both shock and dark humor from the HMS cast.
• The general consensus: keep awkward family revelations private, don’t feed them to the media, and for God’s sake, don’t “let your wiener be your guide.”
• These stories, while comical to discuss, also raise questions about secrets, identity, and just how well we know our own family histories.

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Note: Content is NSFW and embraces a sometimes raunchy, always unfiltered comedic style. For listeners who enjoy frank and shameless discussions about taboo topics, this episode is a classic example of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its most entertaining and provocative.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Radio Host]

The best of Holmberg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, so great job. I was reading an article on that British website when I was and I saw this one, which is pretty good. And I think this is even here. I think the Brits just got hold of this one. A husband and wife were searching. She was pregnant and so they're searching for baby names and stuff. Oh, Requiem for a heavyweight. Is that the. A Requiem for a dream. She does the double. I forgot about that. Thank you, Tyson. Tyson emailed that one over. They do a scene with two girls using one. Two girls, one stick. So you know, one double header. Big double header. Oh, my lord. Yeah, Tyson, you're right. That's a great one, huh? Anyway, this lady and her husband were looking at baby names because they're gonna have a baby soon. So they're like, let's look for baby names. And then he said we should go back and look in our families and name like an old timey name off.

[Ronnie]

Of somebody like a few generations back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like find that. Like in my case, I Don't know what yours would be. Mine would be like Alvar. And then prior to that, Augustus was my great grandfather's name. And then my grandpa was Alvar Augustus named after him. So my dad wanted to name me that and Augustus. And then there was Johan, and we had all sorts of. And then there was just John way back in the. He was the original Holmberg, too, because he was adopted. And nobody even knows where the name comes from. So I'm not named after him. It's just coincidental, but people will do that. They'll go back in their family history and find a name that's like, oh, that's.

[Ronnie]

Yeah. Kirby was close to. It was. I think it's five greats. Wilhelmina.

[John Holmberg]

Wilhelmina. Were you going to call her Wilhelmina? That's a bad idea. I was thinking about old train wreck by 15. Wilhelmina might as well. You might as well just get her some syringes at birth and just say, you're gonna need these because Wilhelmina is gonna end up on drugs. Wilhelmina's a tough one. But again, I used to think that of Isabel. My grandma's name was Isabel, and that was an old timey name. And now it's everybody's kid's name. But these two are going through and they're looking and grandpa's name, and they're like, what a coincidence. Our grandparents had the same name. Wait a second. They look deeper and realize they also had the same last name.

[Ronnie]

Oh, boy.

[Brett Vesely]

Stop looking right there.

[John Holmberg]

They've been married for 12 years. She's pregnant. They just found out their first cousins. That's some not paying attention. The father of her child is actually her cousin. And they have their little tot flying into the world. Marcella Hill explained she found out her fellow was a blood relative while browsing the web because they'd agreed to look for baby names in their family tree. They're both from Utah, so it's tough to keep up.

[Ronnie]

Tight.

[John Holmberg]

Clan tight. She didn't realize why we were so close and we felt so much kinship. She never had publicly revealed this information. They found out before they had the babies, and they didn't tell any of the family after the baby came out. And basically that was them saying, let everybody fall in love with the baby. But I'm thinking to myself, who are you introducing this baby to? Right?

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Family would sit back and say, okay, the grandparents. I mean, maybe they're all dead, but wouldn't. It reveals itself. You'd think. She said, I was sitting on the couch looking for Names. About to have it. And I'm on the family search, and I'm like, wow, grandpa's name and grandma's name. You have the same great grandmas and great grandpas that we've got and the same grandma and grandpa on this side. My husband was next to me on his family search, and he's like, that's weird. And we didn't think anything of it. And then a feeling of dread washed over me, and I looked over and realized his. His wasn't a mistake. I looked online. It's all the same as mine.

[Ronnie]

And so they never. Yeah, I mean, had family reunions or anything like that?

[John Holmberg]

No. She said we realized that grandpas were from the same line. She said his grandma and my grandpa, sure enough, are the same. Lived together while we were growing up as children. While they were growing. Not those two. While the grandparents were growing up. They. They were from the same spot. Makes her. Actually. They would be third cousins on one side, first cousins on the other. So there's some sort of weird. It's a hybrid. It's a hybrid, but it's a Utah hybrid. That's a common thing. And they said. They look. They looked at each other and thought, what do we do? And they decided to go on with it because they're from Utah, and it's not unusual because if it was just. I mean, it could be brother and sister, and they do it there.

[Brett Vesely]

12 years of bangle.

[John Holmberg]

What do you do? Right? Huh?

[Ronnie]

It's not illegal because they're just separated.

[John Holmberg]

Enough because it's great grandparents and grandparents were the tie. But, yeah, just. I don't think anybody's normal. Yeah, it came out fine.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

One eye. He's cool.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's good. He can see out of the other eye. He's good. The other one's kind of. It's kind of a. It's a watch eye. It's kind of neat. It's silver. They got him chained up in the attic. He's fine.

[Brett Vesely]

Looks like a James Bond villain.

[John Holmberg]

He's good. Yeah. They just throw his. They throw his ball to him.

[Ronnie]

They call him Atticus.

[John Holmberg]

I would like my meal, Mommy. All right, little Mormon boy. Here you go. Oh, he sucks it up with that hose he's got for a nose because he's also half fly. But yeah. The 12 years they looked at each other and said, 12 years, we got a baby on the way. Does this make me love.

[Ronnie]

Nothing's changed.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing changed at all. Couldn't do it. Could not do it. You've got a A daughter of a teenage daughter. And I. And I would hope that if you and Ronnie found out, your cousins, that would be a nice place to draw the line. Just. And you don't have to tell. Yeah, yeah. Just. You don't have to tell anybody. Just say it's not working out. We're going to go our separate. We're still good friends. I think half the time you read those things where they say, you know, we're partying, it's amicable, we're still good friends. I think most of those people just found out they're related because no divorce ends that way. For real. I think you just have to be like, well, I still love her, but I'm not allowed, like, morally to be with this person is disgusting. Hosing out honey hole that was built by the same DNA as mine. I'm not. That's gross. But if you find out related to you, I don't care how long. Like you said, 12 years we've been banging. Well, I mean, you know, put a stop to it at that point. Cause now you're freezing. Wouldn't you think about it at 12 years of banging? And you're naive to it, sure. But once you know it's your cousin, the next time you try to slide in, you're like, it's different. Things are different now.

[Ronnie]

And maybe it will change, but. Or it's just, I couldn't do it. Steady as he goes.

[John Holmberg]

You could do that, Ronnie. And you find out your cousins, you could.

[Ronnie]

I don't know, you could die. If I found out, would that be a. I could see it totally being a.

[John Holmberg]

Of course it would. All you're thinking about is the time.

[Ronnie]

You're like, okay, you've been raising this kid.

[Brett Vesely]

So what?

[John Holmberg]

You didn't know, now you do. It's the big reveal. When stuff gets revealed, things change. That's fighting past some serious. Like, that's really pushing things away. I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

You did it before.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's before I knew.

[Brett Vesely]

Yuck. I guess at that point you just gotta see if he could still get it up. After finding that out.

[John Holmberg]

How about this?

[Brett Vesely]

There you go. That's kind of the telltale.

[John Holmberg]

How about this then? Ronnie tells you, you know, I used to be a man. I've never told you that.

[Ronnie]

Like Brett says, if I could still get it up.

[Radio Host]

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[Radio Host]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Ronnie]

I just know probably not you would.

[John Holmberg]

Run for the hills. You'd be staying in my guest room the next minute.

[Brett Vesely]

That'd be five across the mouth, right? That one. But the other one, well, yeah, because.

[John Holmberg]

He'S not hitting a woman.

[Brett Vesely]

You lied to me, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's a dude. I'm hitting you in, man. I wouldn't hit her. But I'm not Brett.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

No, you.

[John Holmberg]

You of all people who always go every time we talk about like a girl getting inside out, that's a dude. Like Kim Petras is on. Eventually you'll say that's a dude. To reset your brain.

[Ronnie]

It would change the whole thing. I'm like, I would be able to tell, but if I got duped and I couldn't tell, I'm like, they've got this surgery down path.

[John Holmberg]

As far as you know, or do they? And you're used to hitting something that doesn't feel. Now you want to feel What? Oh, wait, okay. What's a real one feel like? Like, I forgot.

[Ronnie]

That's the only reason I was going to the base.

[John Holmberg]

Big reveals. Yeah, because hers was smaller than yours when she was a guy. I like what you're saying there. Naturally, she got rid of a little one. Why would you keep a big one?

[Brett Vesely]

You're not going to cut off a big one.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, you find out that that's a guy, it changes things. And the next time you're. You're going at it. I've been. I've been duped. And a woman, if you can still. Like, a woman's the weirder one. They're all emotional. If you can still lift your knees to your shoulders and know that it's your cousin. Now, what's wrong with you?

[Unidentified Male Caller]

Well, we've been doing it for so.

[John Holmberg]

Long, it doesn't make it right. People do heroin for years and kick it once. They realize it's bad for them.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I guess you just gotta use your crank as the crank as your guide.

[John Holmberg]

Yes or no?

[Brett Vesely]

Like, if it ain't gonna get up.

[John Holmberg]

It ain't gonna work. Brett, let me tell you this. Using your crank as your guide is what gets most men in the biggest trouble.

[Ronnie]

It's the wrong brain.

[John Holmberg]

If I get hard foot. Look, I got hard. I let my crank do the talking.

[Brett Vesely]

And, well, we've all been there.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you're right, you're right. Jared said. Yeah, you're right. Let my crank be the guide. And there were 12 year olds in the room. I mean, I. I was surprised how hard I got, so I figured it must be okay.

[Ronnie]

That's the advice.

[John Holmberg]

Never listen. Medic thought it was just fine. So. What? Oh, Jennifer Connelly. Oh, there she is. Naked on the beach. Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Crandall sent that in.

[John Holmberg]

She's the one on all fours. Oh, my Lord. That's from the hot spot.

[Brett Vesely]

Now I want to see that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that movie has. And that's relatively early on. You don't have to waste much time after that. But yeah, there's. Is that Virginia Madsen with her? I mean, there's a scene, There's.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it a Positas Worthy?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is it ever. I mean, isn't that.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

That picture right there is. Anyway, thank you for that. Getting a lot of pictures. Jennifer Connelly right now. She was in one called Inventing the Abbots, also where she was banging Billy Crud. Up. It's Jennifer Connelly day here.

[Brett Vesely]

Crud up.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares? I'm not looking at him like banging my cousin. What do I care about Billy? Crud up.

[Ronnie]

Until. The only reason I heard it was on Golden Globes on Sunday.

[Brett Vesely]

She got naked in Muhal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In the beginning. And she's in pictures in Mulholland Falls. And I think Malkovich. That's how hot Jennifer Connelly is. Malkovich is in the pictures. And you don't care. Like he's showing the photos like he's. He's in the scene. I don't care. I can beat off with Malkovich in the room. That's fine. Let my wiener be my guide. First advice, your honor. I let my penis do all the thinking there. And that's why I'm in this pickle. Yeah. Let your wiener be your guide. Is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins. It's a bad time to let your wiener be your guy.

[Ronnie]

You never hear that. You hear, go. Go with what? You're good.

[John Holmberg]

And your gut's saying, hey, that's your cousin, bro. Walk. Walk out of here. Leave the room. This is nothing but embarrassment. And here's another thing I don't understand. These stories about cousin love. They pop up every few months. We'll get another one. They found out they were related. They're the ones who have to alert the media. I'd keep that buried.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

How does that get out?

[John Holmberg]

And then, like, smiling. We're going to stay together. Like the one. The one famous one is the guy that fell in love with the older lady because he just felt such a kinship to her. She was amazing to him. She was about 18 years older than him. He was in his 30s. She was almost 50. And, like, great. And they're like, I love her. They get married. They're boning away for a few years. And then she tells him the story of how she gave up a kid for adoption. And it was him.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mom. Yeah. And he finds out it's his mom. This is in Great Britain. And they stayed together.

[Brett Vesely]

She gets stuck in the dryer.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where.

[Commercial Announcer]

All the time.

[Byron]

Mean.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

You're so much bigger than.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to the news. No. If I found out Aygan's my sister.

[Ronnie]

Let me ask you this.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out. Half sister.

[Ronnie]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Cousin. What if you found out I'm not calling Channel 10.

[Ronnie]

What if you found out Megan's sister had a situation like that? Would you be knowing a family member?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ronnie]

Would you Call the news on that.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

No.

[Ronnie]

Would you let people know?

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm too close to it. I look like a hillbilly, too.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

I have, like, a family meeting. Go. Hey, we. We die with this, we're buried.

[Ronnie]

That's the only thing I could think of is someone in the family.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

All right.

[Commercial Announcer]

They're not.

[Ronnie]

They're not breaking it up. I'm telling somebody.

[John Holmberg]

You do damage control internally and say, all right, folks, nobody needs to know this. This is our family's d. Little secret. I don't need anybody running off to Troy Hayden right now to talk about how Brady's my cousin, lover. It's not a thing. Now we're going to get divorced. And here's the story. We're all go. It's like a murder.

[Ronnie]

If I would want anyone to break it, Troy would be.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'd call Troy and go, here's the story we're going with. It's a murder. If when Brett gets caught one of these days and comes to us, I need you guys to tell this story, we all get on the same page. You don't have a rogue cousin going. You know, Brady and Ronnie are brother and sister and tell on channel 10, he gets killed by Brett. That's how it works.

[Brett Vesely]

Justifiable egg.

[John Holmberg]

It's the alibi. Absolutely. You don't tell people you found out Your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that, you get a weird divorce where everything's amicable. We still get along. We're gonna co parent. We're best friends. You're related. You don't tell people about it, but every few months.

[Ronnie]

Especially for the kid.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. The kid's gotta. Now, I saw your folks on the news last night. Turns out you're. You're one shaky car ride away from being a tard.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

Oh, no, I don't think I'm gonna. My left eye. My ears don't work.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy's got one. Got a question for you.

[John Holmberg]

All right, reverse it. John. What if you found out your hot sister wasn't your sister? Is it time to go to pound town? Yes. There's no blood there.

[Brett Vesely]

Pound town.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, of course. You pound down your hots once you. That's a good reveal, too. It's like, God, my wiener is my guide. I think it nailed my sister. And by the way, that happens in every porn.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

We're not really related.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. What? And every guy's like, it is true. Yes. You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister Isn't your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.

[Hooters Announcer]

But cousins, put down your Call of Duty and let's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's always a video game. They're always playing Call of Duty in their underpants. And the girl comes in in a pair of jean shorts for an infant.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

Mom and dad are at home. Can I borrow 20 bucks? Oh, yes. You're for money. You have a journey. Go get a job. You get your own job. Get money. I know one way I can get some money. What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

All right, bro.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

What? You're my stepsister. It's not like we're really related. What are you doing? You're hard. You must like it.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's philosophy.

[Unidentified Male Caller]

What am I supposed to do? You're really hot.

[John Holmberg]

If my dad finds out. And what's even the porn dummies are like?

[Unidentified Male Caller]

We won't tell them. Of course you won't.

[John Holmberg]

You bury it.

[Radio Host]

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[John Holmberg]

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