Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (Arizona)
Episode: 12-20-25 - PART ONE - Pregnant British Couple Finds Out They're Distant Cousins
Date: December 30, 2025
Host & Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Ronnie
Duration Covered: [01:19] – [19:17]
Episode Overview
This episode dives into the bizarre and provocative true story about a pregnant couple in Britain who, after being married for 12 years, discover they are actually distant cousins. The hosts use this revelation as a springboard into a freewheeling, irreverent discussion on how they (and society in general) might respond in a similar situation. Themes of family, awkward secrets, “cousin love,” and moral boundaries are explored with Holmberg’s signature no-holds-barred humor.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Discovering You’re Married to Your Cousin
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Story Recap:
- John Holmberg introduces the article: a British (actually Utahn) couple, while pregnant and searching for baby names, learns via genealogy that they’re closely related: third cousins on one side, first cousins on another ([03:28]).
- “They've been married for 12 years… she's pregnant… the father of her child is actually her cousin.” – John ([03:29])
- They opt not to tell anyone before or after the baby is born: “Let everybody fall in love with the baby” before the revelation comes out ([04:04]).
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Utah “Hybrid” Family Trees:
- The gang jokes about this being common in Utah, riffing on stereotypes about tight-knit families and relaxed attitudes toward cousin marriage ([04:54]).
- “It's a Utah hybrid. That's a common thing.” – John
How Would You Handle It?
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Hosts’ Reactions:
- “Nothing changed at all. Couldn't do it. Could not do it.” – John ([06:37])
- Discussion about whether you should immediately end the marriage, keep it secret, or just continue.
- Brett: “12 years of bangle.” — suggests sunk cost as an argument for just rolling with it ([05:45]).
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Moral and Physical Response:
- John and Ronnie debate whether knowing changes feelings or physical reactions: “But once you know it's your cousin… things are different now.” ([07:31])
- Brett: “I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.” – John ([08:20])
Keeping Family Secrets
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Who Tells? Who Bears the Shame?
- “You don't tell people you found out your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that…” – John ([16:29])
- Contingency plans for keeping things in the family, faking amicable divorces, and not notifying the media.
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Bad Advice:
- “Let my wiener be my guide is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins.” – John ([13:48])
- Ronnie: “It's the wrong brain.”
Cousin Love & Taboo in Pop Culture
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Recurring News Stories:
- The hosts comment on how these “cousin love” stories surface regularly in media and why anyone would publicize it ([14:03], [14:25]).
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Twisted Family Revelations:
- They reference the famous British case where a man marries an older woman only to find she's his biological mother—and they stay together ([14:51]).
Porn Jokes & “Step” Family Scenarios
- Satirical Riffs on Porn Tropes:
- The show detours into jokes about stepsibling and step-parent scenarios in porn, lampooning how taboo topics have become normalized in online adult content ([17:03]–[18:38]).
- “You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister isn’t your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.” – John ([17:27])
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | [03:29] | “They've been married for 12 years. She's pregnant. They just found out their first cousins. That's some not paying attention.” | John Holmberg | | [05:45] | “12 years of bangle.” | Brett Vesely | | [06:36] | “12 years, we got a baby on the way. Does this make me love—nothing’s changed.” | John Holmberg | | [08:20] | “I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.” | John Holmberg | | [13:48] | “Let your wiener be your guide is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins. It's a bad time to let your wiener be your guy.” | John Holmberg | | [16:29] | “You don't tell people you found out your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that, you get a weird divorce…” | John Holmberg | | [17:27] | “You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister isn’t your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.” | John Holmberg |
Timestamps for Key Segments
- The Big Reveal: Discovering You're Cousins [01:19] – [04:54]
- Reactions/How Would You Handle It? [06:01] – [08:34]
- Family Secrets and “Damage Control” [14:25] – [16:48]
- Jokes on Pop Culture/Step-family in Porn [17:03] – [18:38]
Tone & Style
The crew maintains their trademark irreverent, unfiltered style—openly joking about taboos, making outrageous analogies, and continually relating the bizarre news to their own hypotheticals. The banter blends genuine moral discomfort with lampooning absurdities both in real life and media.
Takeaways
- Even the most bizarre, taboo situations prompt both shock and dark humor from the HMS cast.
- The general consensus: keep awkward family revelations private, don’t feed them to the media, and for God’s sake, don’t “let your wiener be your guide.”
- These stories, while comical to discuss, also raise questions about secrets, identity, and just how well we know our own family histories.
Note: Content is NSFW and embraces a sometimes raunchy, always unfiltered comedic style. For listeners who enjoy frank and shameless discussions about taboo topics, this episode is a classic example of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its most entertaining and provocative.
