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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron
Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
Commercial Announcer
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Brett Vesely
Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed.
Radio Host
The best of Holmberg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio.
John Holmberg
Anyway, so great job. I was reading an article on that British website when I was and I saw this one, which is pretty good. And I think this is even here. I think the Brits just got hold of this one. A husband and wife were searching. She was pregnant and so they're searching for baby names and stuff. Oh, Requiem for a heavyweight. Is that the. A Requiem for a dream. She does the double. I forgot about that. Thank you, Tyson. Tyson emailed that one over. They do a scene with two girls using one. Two girls, one stick. So you know, one double header. Big double header. Oh, my lord. Yeah, Tyson, you're right. That's a great one, huh? Anyway, this lady and her husband were looking at baby names because they're gonna have a baby soon. So they're like, let's look for baby names. And then he said we should go back and look in our families and name like an old timey name off.
Ronnie
Of somebody like a few generations back.
John Holmberg
Yeah, like find that. Like in my case, I Don't know what yours would be. Mine would be like Alvar. And then prior to that, Augustus was my great grandfather's name. And then my grandpa was Alvar Augustus named after him. So my dad wanted to name me that and Augustus. And then there was Johan, and we had all sorts of. And then there was just John way back in the. He was the original Holmberg, too, because he was adopted. And nobody even knows where the name comes from. So I'm not named after him. It's just coincidental, but people will do that. They'll go back in their family history and find a name that's like, oh, that's.
Ronnie
Yeah. Kirby was close to. It was. I think it's five greats. Wilhelmina.
John Holmberg
Wilhelmina. Were you going to call her Wilhelmina? That's a bad idea. I was thinking about old train wreck by 15. Wilhelmina might as well. You might as well just get her some syringes at birth and just say, you're gonna need these because Wilhelmina is gonna end up on drugs. Wilhelmina's a tough one. But again, I used to think that of Isabel. My grandma's name was Isabel, and that was an old timey name. And now it's everybody's kid's name. But these two are going through and they're looking and grandpa's name, and they're like, what a coincidence. Our grandparents had the same name. Wait a second. They look deeper and realize they also had the same last name.
Ronnie
Oh, boy.
Brett Vesely
Stop looking right there.
John Holmberg
They've been married for 12 years. She's pregnant. They just found out their first cousins. That's some not paying attention. The father of her child is actually her cousin. And they have their little tot flying into the world. Marcella Hill explained she found out her fellow was a blood relative while browsing the web because they'd agreed to look for baby names in their family tree. They're both from Utah, so it's tough to keep up.
Ronnie
Tight.
John Holmberg
Clan tight. She didn't realize why we were so close and we felt so much kinship. She never had publicly revealed this information. They found out before they had the babies, and they didn't tell any of the family after the baby came out. And basically that was them saying, let everybody fall in love with the baby. But I'm thinking to myself, who are you introducing this baby to? Right?
Ronnie
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Family would sit back and say, okay, the grandparents. I mean, maybe they're all dead, but wouldn't. It reveals itself. You'd think. She said, I was sitting on the couch looking for Names. About to have it. And I'm on the family search, and I'm like, wow, grandpa's name and grandma's name. You have the same great grandmas and great grandpas that we've got and the same grandma and grandpa on this side. My husband was next to me on his family search, and he's like, that's weird. And we didn't think anything of it. And then a feeling of dread washed over me, and I looked over and realized his. His wasn't a mistake. I looked online. It's all the same as mine.
Ronnie
And so they never. Yeah, I mean, had family reunions or anything like that?
John Holmberg
No. She said we realized that grandpas were from the same line. She said his grandma and my grandpa, sure enough, are the same. Lived together while we were growing up as children. While they were growing. Not those two. While the grandparents were growing up. They. They were from the same spot. Makes her. Actually. They would be third cousins on one side, first cousins on the other. So there's some sort of weird. It's a hybrid. It's a hybrid, but it's a Utah hybrid. That's a common thing. And they said. They look. They looked at each other and thought, what do we do? And they decided to go on with it because they're from Utah, and it's not unusual because if it was just. I mean, it could be brother and sister, and they do it there.
Brett Vesely
12 years of bangle.
John Holmberg
What do you do? Right? Huh?
Ronnie
It's not illegal because they're just separated.
John Holmberg
Enough because it's great grandparents and grandparents were the tie. But, yeah, just. I don't think anybody's normal. Yeah, it came out fine.
Brett Vesely
Okay.
Ronnie
One eye. He's cool.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's good. He can see out of the other eye. He's good. The other one's kind of. It's kind of a. It's a watch eye. It's kind of neat. It's silver. They got him chained up in the attic. He's fine.
Brett Vesely
Looks like a James Bond villain.
John Holmberg
He's good. Yeah. They just throw his. They throw his ball to him.
Ronnie
They call him Atticus.
John Holmberg
I would like my meal, Mommy. All right, little Mormon boy. Here you go. Oh, he sucks it up with that hose he's got for a nose because he's also half fly. But yeah. The 12 years they looked at each other and said, 12 years, we got a baby on the way. Does this make me love.
Ronnie
Nothing's changed.
John Holmberg
Nothing changed at all. Couldn't do it. Could not do it. You've got a A daughter of a teenage daughter. And I. And I would hope that if you and Ronnie found out, your cousins, that would be a nice place to draw the line. Just. And you don't have to tell. Yeah, yeah. Just. You don't have to tell anybody. Just say it's not working out. We're going to go our separate. We're still good friends. I think half the time you read those things where they say, you know, we're partying, it's amicable, we're still good friends. I think most of those people just found out they're related because no divorce ends that way. For real. I think you just have to be like, well, I still love her, but I'm not allowed, like, morally to be with this person is disgusting. Hosing out honey hole that was built by the same DNA as mine. I'm not. That's gross. But if you find out related to you, I don't care how long. Like you said, 12 years we've been banging. Well, I mean, you know, put a stop to it at that point. Cause now you're freezing. Wouldn't you think about it at 12 years of banging? And you're naive to it, sure. But once you know it's your cousin, the next time you try to slide in, you're like, it's different. Things are different now.
Ronnie
And maybe it will change, but. Or it's just, I couldn't do it. Steady as he goes.
John Holmberg
You could do that, Ronnie. And you find out your cousins, you could.
Ronnie
I don't know, you could die. If I found out, would that be a. I could see it totally being a.
John Holmberg
Of course it would. All you're thinking about is the time.
Ronnie
You're like, okay, you've been raising this kid.
Brett Vesely
So what?
John Holmberg
You didn't know, now you do. It's the big reveal. When stuff gets revealed, things change. That's fighting past some serious. Like, that's really pushing things away. I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.
Unidentified Male Caller
You did it before.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's before I knew.
Brett Vesely
Yuck. I guess at that point you just gotta see if he could still get it up. After finding that out.
John Holmberg
How about this?
Brett Vesely
There you go. That's kind of the telltale.
John Holmberg
How about this then? Ronnie tells you, you know, I used to be a man. I've never told you that.
Ronnie
Like Brett says, if I could still get it up.
Radio Host
What, no merry effing holidays from the big Red radio?
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Radio Host
Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Ronnie
I just know probably not you would.
John Holmberg
Run for the hills. You'd be staying in my guest room the next minute.
Brett Vesely
That'd be five across the mouth, right? That one. But the other one, well, yeah, because.
John Holmberg
He'S not hitting a woman.
Brett Vesely
You lied to me, right?
John Holmberg
It's a dude. I'm hitting you in, man. I wouldn't hit her. But I'm not Brett.
Unidentified Male Caller
No, you.
John Holmberg
You of all people who always go every time we talk about like a girl getting inside out, that's a dude. Like Kim Petras is on. Eventually you'll say that's a dude. To reset your brain.
Ronnie
It would change the whole thing. I'm like, I would be able to tell, but if I got duped and I couldn't tell, I'm like, they've got this surgery down path.
John Holmberg
As far as you know, or do they? And you're used to hitting something that doesn't feel. Now you want to feel What? Oh, wait, okay. What's a real one feel like? Like, I forgot.
Ronnie
That's the only reason I was going to the base.
John Holmberg
Big reveals. Yeah, because hers was smaller than yours when she was a guy. I like what you're saying there. Naturally, she got rid of a little one. Why would you keep a big one?
Brett Vesely
You're not going to cut off a big one.
John Holmberg
But yeah, you find out that that's a guy, it changes things. And the next time you're. You're going at it. I've been. I've been duped. And a woman, if you can still. Like, a woman's the weirder one. They're all emotional. If you can still lift your knees to your shoulders and know that it's your cousin. Now, what's wrong with you?
Unidentified Male Caller
Well, we've been doing it for so.
John Holmberg
Long, it doesn't make it right. People do heroin for years and kick it once. They realize it's bad for them.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I guess you just gotta use your crank as the crank as your guide.
John Holmberg
Yes or no?
Brett Vesely
Like, if it ain't gonna get up.
John Holmberg
It ain't gonna work. Brett, let me tell you this. Using your crank as your guide is what gets most men in the biggest trouble.
Ronnie
It's the wrong brain.
John Holmberg
If I get hard foot. Look, I got hard. I let my crank do the talking.
Brett Vesely
And, well, we've all been there.
John Holmberg
I mean, you're right, you're right. Jared said. Yeah, you're right. Let my crank be the guide. And there were 12 year olds in the room. I mean, I. I was surprised how hard I got, so I figured it must be okay.
Ronnie
That's the advice.
John Holmberg
Never listen. Medic thought it was just fine. So. What? Oh, Jennifer Connelly. Oh, there she is. Naked on the beach. Oh, my God.
Brett Vesely
Crandall sent that in.
John Holmberg
She's the one on all fours. Oh, my Lord. That's from the hot spot.
Brett Vesely
Now I want to see that.
John Holmberg
Oh, that movie has. And that's relatively early on. You don't have to waste much time after that. But yeah, there's. Is that Virginia Madsen with her? I mean, there's a scene, There's.
Brett Vesely
Is it a Positas Worthy?
John Holmberg
Oh, is it ever. I mean, isn't that.
Brett Vesely
Well, yeah, absolutely.
John Holmberg
That picture right there is. Anyway, thank you for that. Getting a lot of pictures. Jennifer Connelly right now. She was in one called Inventing the Abbots, also where she was banging Billy Crud. Up. It's Jennifer Connelly day here.
Brett Vesely
Crud up.
John Holmberg
Who cares? I'm not looking at him like banging my cousin. What do I care about Billy? Crud up.
Ronnie
Until. The only reason I heard it was on Golden Globes on Sunday.
Brett Vesely
She got naked in Muhal.
John Holmberg
Yeah. In the beginning. And she's in pictures in Mulholland Falls. And I think Malkovich. That's how hot Jennifer Connelly is. Malkovich is in the pictures. And you don't care. Like he's showing the photos like he's. He's in the scene. I don't care. I can beat off with Malkovich in the room. That's fine. Let my wiener be my guide. First advice, your honor. I let my penis do all the thinking there. And that's why I'm in this pickle. Yeah. Let your wiener be your guide. Is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins. It's a bad time to let your wiener be your guy.
Ronnie
You never hear that. You hear, go. Go with what? You're good.
John Holmberg
And your gut's saying, hey, that's your cousin, bro. Walk. Walk out of here. Leave the room. This is nothing but embarrassment. And here's another thing I don't understand. These stories about cousin love. They pop up every few months. We'll get another one. They found out they were related. They're the ones who have to alert the media. I'd keep that buried.
Commercial Announcer
Yeah.
Ronnie
How does that get out?
John Holmberg
And then, like, smiling. We're going to stay together. Like the one. The one famous one is the guy that fell in love with the older lady because he just felt such a kinship to her. She was amazing to him. She was about 18 years older than him. He was in his 30s. She was almost 50. And, like, great. And they're like, I love her. They get married. They're boning away for a few years. And then she tells him the story of how she gave up a kid for adoption. And it was him.
Ronnie
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Mom. Yeah. And he finds out it's his mom. This is in Great Britain. And they stayed together.
Brett Vesely
She gets stuck in the dryer.
John Holmberg
I don't know where.
Commercial Announcer
All the time.
Byron
Mean.
John Holmberg
Come on.
Brett Vesely
You're so much bigger than.
John Holmberg
You're going to the news. No. If I found out Aygan's my sister.
Ronnie
Let me ask you this.
John Holmberg
I'm out. Half sister.
Ronnie
Okay.
John Holmberg
Cousin. What if you found out I'm not calling Channel 10.
Ronnie
What if you found out Megan's sister had a situation like that? Would you be knowing a family member?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Ronnie
Would you Call the news on that.
Unidentified Male Caller
No.
Ronnie
Would you let people know?
John Holmberg
No, I'm too close to it. I look like a hillbilly, too.
Unidentified Male Caller
I'm out.
John Holmberg
I have, like, a family meeting. Go. Hey, we. We die with this, we're buried.
Ronnie
That's the only thing I could think of is someone in the family.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Byron
All right.
Commercial Announcer
They're not.
Ronnie
They're not breaking it up. I'm telling somebody.
John Holmberg
You do damage control internally and say, all right, folks, nobody needs to know this. This is our family's d. Little secret. I don't need anybody running off to Troy Hayden right now to talk about how Brady's my cousin, lover. It's not a thing. Now we're going to get divorced. And here's the story. We're all go. It's like a murder.
Ronnie
If I would want anyone to break it, Troy would be.
John Holmberg
Well, I'd call Troy and go, here's the story we're going with. It's a murder. If when Brett gets caught one of these days and comes to us, I need you guys to tell this story, we all get on the same page. You don't have a rogue cousin going. You know, Brady and Ronnie are brother and sister and tell on channel 10, he gets killed by Brett. That's how it works.
Brett Vesely
Justifiable egg.
John Holmberg
It's the alibi. Absolutely. You don't tell people you found out Your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that, you get a weird divorce where everything's amicable. We still get along. We're gonna co parent. We're best friends. You're related. You don't tell people about it, but every few months.
Ronnie
Especially for the kid.
John Holmberg
Exactly. The kid's gotta. Now, I saw your folks on the news last night. Turns out you're. You're one shaky car ride away from being a tard.
Unidentified Male Caller
Oh, no, I don't think I'm gonna. My left eye. My ears don't work.
Brett Vesely
This guy's got one. Got a question for you.
John Holmberg
All right, reverse it. John. What if you found out your hot sister wasn't your sister? Is it time to go to pound town? Yes. There's no blood there.
Brett Vesely
Pound town.
John Holmberg
Oh, God, of course. You pound down your hots once you. That's a good reveal, too. It's like, God, my wiener is my guide. I think it nailed my sister. And by the way, that happens in every porn.
Unidentified Male Caller
We're not really related.
John Holmberg
That's true. What? And every guy's like, it is true. Yes. You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister Isn't your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.
Hooters Announcer
But cousins, put down your Call of Duty and let's.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's always a video game. They're always playing Call of Duty in their underpants. And the girl comes in in a pair of jean shorts for an infant.
Unidentified Male Caller
Mom and dad are at home. Can I borrow 20 bucks? Oh, yes. You're for money. You have a journey. Go get a job. You get your own job. Get money. I know one way I can get some money. What are you doing?
John Holmberg
All right, bro.
Unidentified Male Caller
What? You're my stepsister. It's not like we're really related. What are you doing? You're hard. You must like it.
John Holmberg
Brett's philosophy.
Unidentified Male Caller
What am I supposed to do? You're really hot.
John Holmberg
If my dad finds out. And what's even the porn dummies are like?
Unidentified Male Caller
We won't tell them. Of course you won't.
John Holmberg
You bury it.
Radio Host
Arizona's most powerful, powerful roc radio station.
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John Holmberg
Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our home pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter, and it's brought to you by our friends@turfmonstersaz.com Every week, I head over to Lost our Home Pet rescue, and I meet a brand new, beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section.
Episode: 12-20-25 - PART ONE - Pregnant British Couple Finds Out They're Distant Cousins
Date: December 30, 2025
Host & Cast: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Ronnie
Duration Covered: [01:19] – [19:17]
This episode dives into the bizarre and provocative true story about a pregnant couple in Britain who, after being married for 12 years, discover they are actually distant cousins. The hosts use this revelation as a springboard into a freewheeling, irreverent discussion on how they (and society in general) might respond in a similar situation. Themes of family, awkward secrets, “cousin love,” and moral boundaries are explored with Holmberg’s signature no-holds-barred humor.
Story Recap:
Utah “Hybrid” Family Trees:
Hosts’ Reactions:
Moral and Physical Response:
Who Tells? Who Bears the Shame?
Bad Advice:
Recurring News Stories:
Twisted Family Revelations:
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | [03:29] | “They've been married for 12 years. She's pregnant. They just found out their first cousins. That's some not paying attention.” | John Holmberg | | [05:45] | “12 years of bangle.” | Brett Vesely | | [06:36] | “12 years, we got a baby on the way. Does this make me love—nothing’s changed.” | John Holmberg | | [08:20] | “I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin.” | John Holmberg | | [13:48] | “Let your wiener be your guide is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins. It's a bad time to let your wiener be your guy.” | John Holmberg | | [16:29] | “You don't tell people you found out your husband of 12 years is your cousin and you made babies. You bury that, you get a weird divorce…” | John Holmberg | | [17:27] | “You find out your incredibly smoking hot sister isn’t your real sister. Pound Town, indeed. Two tickets to Pound Town.” | John Holmberg |
The crew maintains their trademark irreverent, unfiltered style—openly joking about taboos, making outrageous analogies, and continually relating the bizarre news to their own hypotheticals. The banter blends genuine moral discomfort with lampooning absurdities both in real life and media.
Note: Content is NSFW and embraces a sometimes raunchy, always unfiltered comedic style. For listeners who enjoy frank and shameless discussions about taboo topics, this episode is a classic example of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its most entertaining and provocative.