12-22-25 - Difference Between Men And Women Is Their Line Regarding Injuries And Amputations - 2024 - BO

Summary

Episode Overview

Theme:
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (Dec 22, 2025), the crew dives deep into the differences between men and women—specifically, where each draws the line when it comes to injuries, amputations, and physical “dealbreakers” in relationships. With their trademark irreverence and humor, John Holmberg and co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo explore just how shallow or empathetic men and women can be, peppering the conversation with anecdotes, wild hypotheticals, and plenty of laughs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Escalating Shock Value Online and Societal Boundaries

• (01:13–03:27) The crew jokingly bemoans the ever-increasing shock content online, wondering aloud if society ever “redlines” and where the limits actually are.
  • Holmberg: “I look at these things that we’re gonna show on Friday and I wonder, I mean, we have to have redlined on this, right?... In a society where bigger is better, eventually it’s just going to be like a German Shepherd and then a Hyundai.”

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2. Taboos, New Jokes, and Personal Comfort Zones

• (03:28–05:36) The hosts discuss whether there are any truly “new” jokes or taboo-breaking experiences left, with reference to sexual experimentation and personal boundaries.
  • Holmberg: “I don’t believe there’s no such thing as a new joke because I’ve seen a dude with two arms in him. Everything’s new to me.”
  • Anecdote: Holmberg shares a comedic story about a woman being unexpectedly forward (“I used to call that the Shazam because she went in dry and fast!”), using a vivid, relatable analogy.

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3. Visible Disabilities and Dealbreakers

• (05:36–07:45) The conversation turns to how physical abnormalities or disabilities impact attraction and relationship longevity for men.
  • Memorable quote:
    • Holmberg (about a TikTok with a beautiful woman with elephantiasis of the arm): “Yes, that is a deal breaker... Don’t go dancing around on TikTok with your glop arm.”
  • The hosts admit to being “shallow” and detail specific “lines” they wouldn’t cross, such as missing fingers or significant deformities.

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4. Gender Differences in Empathy and Caretaking

• (07:46–09:19) The group contrasts male and female reactions to their partners’ severe injuries or disabilities.
  • Holmberg:
    • “That line in Jerry Maguire, ‘You complete me.’ That’s the grossest thing to a man’s brain ever.”
    • “A dude can turn into a small torso with bags hanging off of it, and [women will] stay. They’re better than us when it comes to that. We all have a line. What’s too much?”
  • Men are portrayed as practical and self-serving, while women are described as natural caretakers who remain devoted even after severe accidents.

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5. Hypothetical Scenarios and the “Line” for Men

• (09:20–14:59) The team fires off a series of rapid-fire hypotheticals:
  • Losing both legs at the knee:
    • Bret: “85% chance I’ll stick around. Depends on how gross the nub is.” (11:05)
    • Holmberg: “Both legs. Now think about it, you’re gonna see her without them a lot, man.”
  • Losing her butt in an accident (“Road rashed away”):
    • Bret: “If she’s got an infection and they had to remove her ass cheeks… I’m out.” (12:25)
    • Holmberg: “She has butt cheek cancer, and we have to have them removed.”
      Bret: “Peace out. Deuces.” (12:45)
  • Brady’s stance:
    • Admits he’d stay through most things “unless she turned into a vegetable.” (15:36)
  • The men agree that even the nicest guy has a cut-off point that’s likely much “shallower” than most women’s.

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6. The Role of Story and Context in Amputation

• (16:08–17:10) The guys discuss how the cause of an injury or amputation affects their feeling.
  • Holmberg: “Is the story cool or did you cut it off being stupid? That’s another thing. How did that happen? She fell down in a fire pit? ... That’s not good.”

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7. Humor about Domestic Duties and “Completeness”

• (17:10–17:35) Joking about gender roles and household tasks, the guys (especially Brady) wonder if missing limbs means a woman can still fulfill stereotypical “duties.”
  • Holmberg: “You become a full fledged woman by cleaning up fast. ... Finally you’re complete. You now complete me.”

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8. Final Reflection: Men as Hunters, Women as Caretakers

• (15:04–15:36) Holmberg summarizes the episode’s main theme:
  • Holmberg: “Every man’s got a line. It doesn’t make us good. We are hunters. Women are empathetic caretakers. And in that regard, you’re better than us. A lot better.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the ever-expanding search for new extremes:
  • “In a society where bigger is better, eventually it’s just going to be like a German shepherd and then a Hyundai.” — John Holmberg (01:20)
• On sexual experimentation and personal boundaries:
  • “I called it ‘the Shazam’ because she went in dry and fast ... Just barreled through the door like the Kool-Aid man.” — John Holmberg (03:31)
• On visible deformities:
  • “She’s pretty. She was pretty. But then you’re thinking ... get that fixed. Don’t go dancing around on TikTok with your glop arm.” — John Holmberg (05:59)
• Differences in gender lines:
  • “A dude can turn into a small torso with bags hanging off of it, and they’ll stay. They’re better than us when it comes to that.” — John Holmberg (13:15)
• On shallow dealbreakers:
  • “If she’s got an infection and they had to remove her ass cheeks … I’m out… Peace out, deuces.” — Bret Vesely (12:25–12:45)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:13: Discussion of internet content and ever-escalating shock value
• 03:27: Holmberg’s “Shazam” story—first sexual experimentation anecdote
• 05:36: Visible disabilities as relationship “dealbreakers”
• 07:46: Women’s roles as caretakers vs. men’s shallowness
• 09:20: Hypothetical injury scenarios and the “line” for men
• 15:04: Summing up gender roles—hunters vs. caretakers

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Tone & Language

The conversation in this episode is raw, irreverent, and unapologetically candid, laced with dark humor and a willingness to broach awkward or taboo topics. The hosts acknowledge their own “shallowness” while also revealing surprising self-awareness and affection, especially when contrasting their reactions to those of women.

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Conclusion

This episode showcases Holmberg’s Morning Sickness at its best: blending biting, sometimes uncomfortable humor with surprisingly honest discussions about relationships, gender differences, and human nature. For listeners, it’s a rollercoaster of laughter and squirm-worthy moments, but always thoughtful beneath the surface.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

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[A]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[D]

Do not listen to this while driving.

[A]

Or when full alertness is needed.

[D]

The best of Holmberg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. The Internet open my eyes. Sodom and Gomorrah could not have been worse than what's going on here. There's no but. Nobody's turning into pillars of salt. Nobody's having. So you start to wonder, wow. And then I wonder, where else can we go? We have where. What else is possible? I used to always say that about, like years ago when I was joking with friends of like, when the Richard Gere joke was coming out, I was like, gerbils in a butt. Who would have thought of that, right? That's weird. And then in my head, I remember talking to my friend Brian. I'm like, but, you know, in a society where bigger is better, eventually it's just going to be like a German shepherd and then a Hyundai. Yeah, he just keeps. Well, you don't have to get too, you know, you're talking something weird. You just keep. It's going to get bigger. And then you go, you know, now an Irish wolfhound and that's not enough for you. Like, everything Grows. I look at these things that we're going to show on Friday and I wonder, I mean, we have to have redlined on this, right? You think? Don't, don't. I know that's going to be a.

[A]

Hold my beer situation. Don't do it.

[D]

But we had.

[C]

I believe that.

[D]

I would hope so.

[A]

I would hope so.

[D]

But I would have guessed after the first fist. That's as far as we can go with this. No.

[A]

And then went up to the elbows.

[D]

Two of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like pistons.

[C]

Is it getting to be like they say about a joke, you know, there's no such thing as a new joke. Some people will say that, but you're looking for that new joke, that new funny.

[A]

So it's rehashed. Yeah.

[D]

I don't believe that there's no such thing as a new joke because I've seen a dude with two arms in him. So I think everything's new to me. I guess they're saying that if you.

[C]

Introduce new formula of it.

[D]

Sure. But I think there's. Jokes are endless because material is daily. But I would have assumed, you know, it was enough for me when the Bryan Adams girl told me how amazing it is to have, you know, somebody toying around with your bottom. It's fingers and stuff.

[A]

That's baby stuff nowadays, baby.

[D]

I was afraid. I called it the Shazam. For. Until these videos. I used to call that the Shazam because she went in dry and fast. Little hot.

[A]

Didn't knock before she came in. Just.

[D]

Just bars right in the door, the door down.

[C]

Like.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like the door went off the hinges and flew around.

[A]

Like the Kool Aid.

[D]

Man coming through the wall. Exactly. Her finger might as well have just said thirsty kids. And. I screamed out in terror. You don't like it? No. Get it out. And she's a 5 foot 3 inch, tiny middle finger. And I was losing it. And then I see these videos and I'm like, I'm a. I'm a baby. My old boyfriend used to love that. And then I had that doctor hit the prostate and give me one of those moments. I'm like, uh, that's a thing that happens sometimes. Like, could you do it again?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I have not had that since because I don't dabble. But then I see these videos that we'll show them on Friday. Like, when did you start realizing you're capable of so much more? My body shuts that off and maybe it's great. But again, like I said earlier, I lived in fear of that when I was younger. You never take chances. Now you're just kind of like, ah, screw it. What do you got? Throw it in there. Let's see if you hit something. Greg Fitzsimmons, great comedian, came in and said, I don't think I'm gay, but I didn't try it ever. So I hired a male prostitute, went out in the woods and in New York, maybe I'll love it. Maybe it's something I'm just not giving a chance to. And I'm like, well, what happened? He goes, we went in the woods and I'm not gay. He didn't like it. But you know, it's like saying you don't like broccoli and you've never had broccoli. I'm not gonna try it.

[A]

No, I'm good.

[D]

Yeah. Not attracted to it.

[A]

It'll make you feel.

[D]

It won't make. I don't know that it would. I don't know that it would. I don't have that. Like, Brady sent a video of a hot girl with some sort of elephantitis of her right arm and just underneath he wrote deal breaker. Cause I don't know what Brady does with him. I saw that yesterday. I don't know what he does with his time, but it is definitely darker than you'd imagine.

[C]

Challenge myself.

[D]

Yeah. And she's very pretty, but she's got the elephantitis arm. And that is. Yes, that is a deal breaker. It's like she's deformed and I can't get over that. That's me. She was pretty. But then you're thinking with all the medical advancements and everything in the world, get that fixed. Don't go dancing around on TikTok with your glob arm. Start showing everybody that you're confident with it. Cause all it is is like, oh, you people say that. Oh, she's so pretty. Too bad nobody ever says she's beautiful. And the arm really helps that out. No, it doesn't actually.

[C]

Just the flappy tricep.

[D]

Oh, it's. Well, it's just. It's a grandma arm on a hot 20 something year old girl. Just one. We'll get that fixed. But I, yeah, I shallow and I admit it. And a girl with glop arm is out. If you're missing a finger, I'm gonna consider maybe not dicks. That's all I'd think about. What happened to your finger? And why is that? It's just mad. I think we're done here. I don't like the goofy flaw. That's why when women. Women know. That's why they always get into that conversation with you. When I lost both my legs in an axe, would you still love me? I would still love you. And I'd send you a Christmas card and I'd check in on you every once in a while. What does. I wouldn't be here anymore. You got no legs. I'm gonna walk you around with. You're gonna get heavier, and I gotta push you everywhere. This is. This sounds like a job.

[A]

You get fat because you can't, you know, do any laps or anything like that.

[D]

Yeah. I gotta get you one of those weird small pools that just keep you in one place, tie you to the sides of it. You don't love me unless I have all my body parts. Yeah. Why does that sound wrong when you.

[A]

Say just like a weeble.

[D]

If I lost all my legs and my arms, what would we do? You'd make me prop you up. I'd still try to have sex with you. That makes me a freak. You're making me the bad guy here. What would it mean? What if I just lost a foot? Like, nah, I think that's it. I think we're good there. I'd stay with you. Well, yeah, because you're a woman. You don't have the same needs we have. And people don't look at like, you know, a woman gets from other women tons of credit when their husband, you know, gets bonked in the head and he's sitting in a chair and he's kind of blobbing around a little bit, and they go on TV and they always look amazing. You ever notice that the woman that's sitting next to the guy who just got hit in the head looks beautiful like, she does. She did herself up. She's never in a ponytail and sweats going, it's an all day job. This guy's an all day job. But they're caretakers. They're built for it. They love that idea that. That you need them and that without you, they're like, you are truly complete. That line in Jerry McGuire, you complete me. That's the grossest thing to a man's brain ever. That, Ugh, what? But that moment, they love that a dude just knows his friends are going, yeah, Holmberg's wife got hit in the head. She's retarded now and he's still her.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What a weirdo. It's not as admirable. It's like, ah, I don't know if I could do it good on him, you know? You're like, that's pretty good, but I'd leave.

[A]

Better you than me, bro.

[D]

Yeah. Merry effing holidays from the big Red Radio.

[A]

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[E]

Right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. All right, as you probably already know, we've got the big Holmberg After Dark show this Friday, December 12th. An amazing list of guests will be a part of it all. You're not going to want to miss this one, but you better get those tickets fast because this one sells out. Holmberg after dark Friday, December 12th at Stand Up Live for the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge, improv.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[D]

And that's another thing. Guys, what's he doing? Oh, she's. She's an R word now. Yeah, I know. So does he get permission for side action or what's going on there? I don't know. I think he still nails it. What a weirdo.

[C]

Seems to be happy.

[D]

Yeah, A woman that just shut her off. And she cares for you because truly they are better than us when it comes to that. There's no question. What's your limit? Brett Mathias loses one leg from the knee down.

[A]

From the knee down?

[D]

Yeah, it's a bit sets. And that's 85% chance I'll stick around. Yeah, depends on how gross the nut is.

[A]

All right. I mean, it's, you know, as long as she can still put a shoe on the prosthetic. Both.

[D]

Both. I don't want.

[A]

I don't want skis.

[D]

Both legs.

[A]

None of those skis things. Yeah, yeah, the springs. Yeah, I'm out.

[D]

All right, both legs.

[C]

Where?

[D]

Knee down.

[A]

Knee down.

[D]

Now think about it. You're going to see her, you know, without them a lot, man.

[A]

I don't know. I mean, maybe she'd have to wear that magic underwear just to cover up.

[D]

The prosthetics and stuff. Like, she. Green screener, like, cap.

[A]

Yeah, I think so. I think so.

[D]

What was his name? Dan. Captain Dan. Yeah.

[A]

But if she's like, you know, like a Weeble with no, like.

[D]

Okay, so we're going. We go up the thigh a little.

[C]

Lieutenant Dan.

[D]

Lieutenant Dan. Up the thigh a little bit. You're out on there.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I could ask you one question, and she would be.

[A]

She would be with me. I expect that. I'm not.

[D]

You know what if you watch.

[C]

Watch one leg all the way up.

[D]

Watch this. She gets into. She falls off the back of the motorcycle, right? And skids down the road and her ass goes away. The doctors are like, it's road rashed away. There's nothing we can do. Her ass is gone.

[C]

Fast back.

[A]

Oh, no.

[D]

She's out.

[A]

Out the door.

[E]

What are you talking about?

[D]

Come on.

[A]

Go away.

[D]

It's just scarred up, but it's flatter. It's flatter. Yeah.

[A]

So like, we're talking like Taylor Swift type.

[D]

It just. They had to remove her ass.

[A]

Oh, no. She's gone.

[D]

She's got an infection. And they had to remove her ass cheeks. It's out. I'm with.

[A]

This new booty is gone. I'm gonna find a new booty.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Nothing I wouldn't tell her either.

[D]

She has butt cheek cancer, and we have to have them removed.

[A]

Peace out, Deuces.

[D]

But nobody would know that. She's like, Brett's wife doesn't have a. You know, her ass went away.

[A]

I don't care what they think.

[D]

I think that's you.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Brady. Ronnie loses both legs. Knees down. You're sticking, right?

[C]

Knees down.

[D]

See, because to me, I saw one.

[C]

Just one leg completely gone.

[D]

Very pretty.

[C]

I thought. I think I'd be all right.

[D]

See, now here's the thing. You probably. And people hearing that probably thought, well, see, Brady's nicer, but Brady still has a line. It's just different. You know what I mean? Guys have a line. Women don't. A dude can turn into a small torso with bags hanging off of it, and they'll stay. They're better than us when it comes to that. We all have a line. What's too much? So just. Cause like, if Ronnie had her, you know, road rashed her butt away and her legs fell off, you'd be like, oh, this is too much for me.

[A]

Now, what about you and Megan oh, go on.

[D]

Hangnail, hangnail. I'm out.

[C]

The one that blows me away is.

[D]

Your fingernails are all bloody. Get out of my house. Burn.

[C]

Burn victim.

[D]

Oh, man. I don't know how they do it. You don't see a lot of dudes sticking around that they might rub butter on him for a couple of weeks. But he's definitely. And he. Then they have a talk. This is not me being mean. This is just truth. A dude would have a talk eventually going. You can't do it. I still have needs. I've read those articles where the woman's. And he still has needs. He's a man, so he's allowed to do that. And I don't know that he does that often. I think we just need to know we can.

[A]

And then.

[D]

And then the love will kick in. You don't do that. But I. You see a lot of women.

[A]

It's a movie.

[D]

Yeah. It's a. It's a hallmark. It's not real life. I agree. Yeah. Yeah. If you gotta rub butter all over her all the time and keep her from aching and she's like a giant piece of Canadian bacon.

[A]

Well, now you know. He's back in.

[D]

That's true. Her part looks like if her whole body burned. But she always smelled like delicious maple bacon because of it. You just find that out the hard way. The whole house always smells like bacon.

[C]

Out.

[D]

But Brady, there's never any bacon.

[C]

Right.

[D]

There's the problem. She's a tease.

[C]

And I can create that bacon.

[A]

Step aside, Glade.

[D]

She's a tease. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Those 90 day things, they smell pretty good. Candles. And again, nothing more disappointing than walking into a house full of bacon to find out it's some sort of false scent. Ah, for sure we were having bacon. Every man's got a line. It doesn't make us good. We are hunters. Women are empathetic caretakers. And in that regard, you're better than us. A lot better.

[A]

Ready. Would say Ronnie, though. For through everything. Unless she turned into a vegetable.

[D]

Right. He's not eating a vegetable.

[E]

Go.

[D]

What if she. What if she.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

See? And that's the Brady dilemma. It's like if she turned into kale. I don't know how that medical. I don't know what would happen to some sort of truck wreck that your wife has to be covered in kale at all times. Get her out of this house. Whore. You have to always buy kale and then place it on her body neatly. And the house is just covered in kale. Smells like kale.

[C]

I drop her off like the. The equivalency of the fire department. I drop her out at a national natural grocer.

[D]

Yeah. You get her over to the sprouts she's made of cat. She's more kale than women now. I don't know what drawer. I don't know what doctor told her to cover up in kale every day either. By the way. She'd probably check my health plan. Ever since that guy got off yesterday in New York, everything's wacky. The doctors are just putting vegetables on. Yeah. We all have a line. Arm, lose an arm. Depends on how. Is the story cool or did you cut it off? Being stupid. That's another thing. How did that happen? She fell down in a fire pit. She was doing something. It's not good.

[C]

On top of that, that should have.

[A]

Stayed in the fire pit.

[C]

Losing an arm.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Why are you trying to get out of there?

[C]

Your lady loses an arm, that cuts into a lot of duties.

[D]

It sure does. The house is going to get half as clean. You're right. Dishes are taking forever now. You gotta hold worse. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

This is why leg is fine.

[D]

These are things we think about. You gotta hire a girl to come by and clean the house now. She got.

[C]

Unless they come up with some really cool. Which they are. Robotic arm.

[D]

For cleaning houses. Yeah.

[C]

Multitasking to help out the buffer thing.

[D]

You know, ladies who are amputees.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Become full fledged women.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

By cleaning up fast. That was beautiful, Brady. That was a beautiful moment you brought. Then they can be a real woman troubleshoot who can two handed clean my dishes. Finally you're complete. You now complete me. But they. They melt at that stuff. You complete me. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[E]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Head north to Desert Ridge to catch Chris Turner from AGT and Heather Posternach perform in Tempe at the Improv. You've got Matt Friend and local girl Jesse Jet Ski Johnson doing their sets. And downtown at Stand Up Live, enjoy the comedy of Timmy no Breaks Lunel and Jay Pharoah entertaining you this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.

[D]

John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-Now.