12-22-25 - Nikki Sixx - book signing call in - 2011 - BO

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show
Episode Title & Date: 12-22-25 - Nikki Sixx Book Signing Call-In (2011 - BO), December 22, 2025
Special Guest: Nikki Sixx (Motley Crüe, Sixx:A.M.)
Main Theme:
A fun, irreverent episode that blends a radio game honoring Nikki Sixx, Tiny Tim's birthday, and William Shatner with a wide-ranging and often hilarious interview with Nikki Sixx. The banter is classic Holmberg—part rock nostalgia, part off-the-wall morning humor, and part candid rockstar stories.

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Key Discussions & Highlights

1. Introduction & Game Setup – "Six Shat Tiny Tim"

(Starts ~01:07–04:17)

• The show begins with playful banter about book adaptations and a debate over whether movies or books are better.
• The cast introduces "Six Shat Tiny Tim," a game where contestants guess if clues are about Nikki Sixx, William Shatner (“Shat”), or Tiny Tim.
• Running joke: Imagining a "supergroup" with all three and discussing which actors could play Nikki Sixx in a movie.
• Listener calls in to play, but the fun is mostly in the hosts roasting each other, especially over personal quirks about answering phones.

Notable Moment (03:27)
John Holmberg (D), joking about studio crowding:
“Toledo’s coming towards me. This town ain’t big enough for the two of us… I’m trapped in a corner and I got Toledo coming at me. That giant head. You just automatically just feel your ass go inside.”

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2. Nikki Sixx Joins the Show

(04:20–08:24)

• Nikki calls in just in time to play the game themed in his honor.
• He jokes about the "supergroup" of Sixx, Shatner, and Tiny Tim, tossing in Scott Ian from Anthrax as a possible member.
• Admits his love for both Tiny Tim and William Shatner.
• Plays the trivia game, showing humor and self-deprecation, especially when he misses questions about himself.

Notable Exchange (05:57–06:17):
Nikki Sixx, after missing a question about working with the Sex Pistols:
“That’s a trick question!”
John Holmberg:
“How is that a trick question?”
Nikki Sixx:
“Did you Sex Pistol? Yes, but he wasn’t in Sex Pistols at the time. So when you said Sex Pistols, I thought of the Sex Pistols.”

• Nikki ends up getting 6 correct answers, echoing his stage name, “Nikki Sixx gets six.”

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3. Listeners vs. Nikki in "Six Shat Tiny Tim"

(08:24–11:01)

• Nikki helps subsequent callers Amy and Brian as their “lifeline.” The game remains tongue-in-cheek and challenging.
• Lots of laughter as everyone, including Nikki, struggles—even with questions about themselves.

Memorable Moment (09:10):
Brian calls Nikki “Mr. Sixx” throughout, to the hosts’ delight.

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4. Tiny Tim, Creepiness, and Hollywood Plastic Surgery

(11:01–13:17)

• Discussion shifts to the creepiness of Tiny Tim’s music and persona.
• Nikki describes attending a post-Academy Awards Vanity Fair party and being weirded out by the amount of plastic surgery (“it was like that Twilight Zone scene... everybody’s faces had pig masks”).

Notable Quote (12:41):
Nikki Sixx:
“It was plastic surgery city. It was like, literally. It was a creep show. It was weird. I wish I could have taken pictures of them.”

• Hilarious exchange about who the “creepiest” celebrity Nikki has met is, with Mick Mars and Tommy Lee getting mentioned.

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5. Nikki’s Motley Crüe Memories & Bandmate Stories

(13:17–15:29)

• Nikki jokingly calls Mick Mars “a pirate” and trades jabs about trying (and failing) to impress Tommy Lee’s sister and mom.
• Confirmation (with innuendo) that Nikki and Lita Ford were once an item—laughter erupts when prompted for explicit details.
• John Holmberg relates an anecdote about a Lita Ford concert in Phoenix, involving wardrobe malfunctions and fiery banter with a heckler.

Classic Banter (14:19):
Nikki, on Lita Ford:
“How was that? What? Do you want a blow by blow?”
John:
“Yeah, I do, actually.”

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6. Best Tours, Famous Friends, and “Rockstar Dad” Life

(15:33–18:22)

• Nikki reminisces about the bonds formed with bands on various tours: “Crew Fest” with Papa Roach, Buckcherry, Theory of a Deadman.
• Remains close to members of Kiss, Ozzy, etc.
• Hilarious look at “rockstar excess” vs. normal family: Nikki’s daughter wants a pony, so she sells lemonade to raise money. Rockstar neighbors (Ozzy Osbourne, My Chemical Romance, Alex Van Halen, Jennifer Lopez, and Howie Mandel) make cameos at her lemonade stand.

Quote (17:45):
Nikki Sixx:
“…Ozzy pulls up. He’s like, Nikki! And I go, hey, Ozzy, want some lemonade? He goes, all right… then up pulls the guys in My Chemical Romance… and then Alex Van Halen drives by and I go, thanks for stopping, asshole… then Jennifer Lopez drove by – I was like, please don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

• Running joke about his daughter’s pony campaign (“Behind the Pony with Nikki Sixx” as a fake reality-TV pitch).

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7. Outrageous/Creepy Jokes and Self-Roast

(17:02–18:52)

• Cheeky, over-the-line jokes are made about introducing Nikki’s daughter to Tommy Lee, quickly walking them back and self-roasting for creepiness.
• The hosts and Nikki riff on “trust tree” boundaries and forgiveness for youthful rockstar behavior.
• Nikki laughs it off, granting Holmberg the “creepiest” crown before more zingers about Mick Mars' “great grandchildren.”

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8. Signature Morning Sickness Unfiltered Style

• All banter is unfiltered, hilarious, and fast, blending music history, raunchy jokes, absurd scenarios, and sincere moments of rock nostalgia.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I find [reading] to be a waste of time. They’ll make a great movie out of it.”
  — John Holmberg (01:07), on why he doesn’t read books
• “All you need is Scott Ian; he can fill in as Tiny.”
  — John Holmberg (04:46), joking about a supergroup
• “I might miss.”
  — Nikki Sixx (04:59), playfully doubting his trivia prowess
• “If that’s Tiny Tim, I’m gonna really look up to him... Tiny Tim!”
  — Nikki Sixx (05:45), guessing his own Sex Pistols collaboration
• “Mick Mars is... so rad. He’s so cool. You know he’s a pirate. No, he really is a pirate!”
  — Nikki Sixx (13:05), on bandmate myths
• “Let’s just—next question.”
  — Nikki Sixx (14:28), evading “blow by blow” details of his Lita Ford romance
• “You crossed the line.”
  — Nikki Sixx (17:09), after a risqué Tommy Lee joke

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Episode Timeline – Major Segments

• 01:07–04:17: Game setup and preamble
• 04:20–08:24: Nikki Sixx joins and plays the trivia game
• 08:24–11:02: Nikki helps listeners with the game
• 11:02–13:17: Deep dive into Tiny Tim, creepiness, and celebrity parties
• 13:17–16:34: Motley Crüe touring stories, bandmates, and relationships
• 16:34–18:52: Rockstar dad moments, lemonade stand with celebrity cameos, and outrageous banter

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Tone & Style

• Sarcastic, irreverent, and off-the-cuff.
• Fast-paced, with rapid-fire jokes and banter.
• Blends genuine affection for guest and subject matter with a willingness to push boundaries and embrace embarrassment.
• Filled with playful roasting between all parties.

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Summary for New Listeners

This is a quintessential “Morning Sickness” episode—a wild ride through rock trivia, outrageous anecdotes, and totally unfiltered conversation, starring a witty, candid Nikki Sixx. The game “Six Shat Tiny Tim” proves a delightful mess, the rockstar stories come out fast and dirty, and the entire show is peppered with laugh-out-loud one-liners. Whether you’re here for the classic rock gossip, the off-color humor, or the pure unpredictability, Holmberg and crew—plus Nikki Sixx in top form—deliver.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[A]

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[D]

You're listening to the best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The Nettie Akupd scheduled to perform in just moments. Nikki Six, of course, Motley Crue and 6am and all sorts of other death. He performed death once. That was pretty neat. He's gonna join us in just a little while. We hope we've heard that before. Andy wrote a book, huh? Written two. Now this is what he's calling another book out Bestseller Phenomen. And the first one I've had I don't read. I find it to be a waste of time. They'll make a great movie out of. It's a good enough book. I've had this argument with several people. If it's a good enough book, the movie will be fantastic. It's not true. The book is almost always better than the movie. Nope. If the movie's no good, the book must not have been that good because there's the script. If you can't make something good out of it. Who plays Nikki Sixx in the movie? Clearly Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands. Or maybe. What was that one guy's name? Jesse from mtv, where they. Oh, Jesse Camp?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

The dj. The winner of the dj. Whatever happened to him? Did Crispin Glover just absorb him? I guess. I don't know. Give me back my Persona. And the same hair. Exactly. It's brutal. All right, let's go to the phones and play a little Six Shat Tiny Tim. Right here on the birth date of Tiny Tim and the day that Nikki Six supposed to join us. We'll try to get Six to play with us. Tyler's on the line. Tyler? Tyler, are you there? Whoops, I gotta answer it. Tyler, are you there?

[E]

Hello?

[D]

Hello, Tyler. How are you, sir?

[E]

I'm good.

[F]

How are you?

[D]

I'm doing well. What, are you here to play?

[E]

6 chat Tiny Tim?

[D]

All right, away we go. Plays the base Six. Six is correct. Ukulele player, Tiny Tim, known as a falsetto.

[E]

I'm sorry, what?

[D]

Known as a falsetto.

[E]

Ch.

[D]

Sorry, you were rolling. I thought we had something. You do the ukulele. Gary's on the line. Gary, are you there?

[E]

Yeah, I'm here.

[D]

Can't answer this one. Okay, not you, Gary.

[F]

Get over there.

[D]

He's walking towards me. Toledo's coming towards me. This is my little section of town and not enough room.

[G]

I wanna be next to you.

[D]

This town. Town ain't big enough for the two of us.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Sorry about that, Gary. Toledo started walking towards me, make me nervous, like there was gonna be a rape. You didn't see it, but it was a little rapey. You got a little rapey in here. I'm trapped in a corner and I got Toledo coming at me. That giant head. You just autom automatically. Just feel your ass go inside. Answer in here? Yeah. Two thousand phones. He chooses the one closest to my ass. All right. Why did you come towards me that way? Because I can answer that with that phone. You have nothing with me this close to it. And I need the buttons.

[E]

Yes, the buttons.

[D]

Rap ass weirdo. All right. Sorry you had to be part of that, Gary. Are you ready?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

What are you here to play?

[E]

Six shots, Tiny.

[D]

That's right. Six shat, Tiny. Here we go. The clock starts right now. Once declared dead for two minutes.

[E]

Six.

[D]

Six is correct. Grew up in San Jose, California.

[E]

Tiny.

[D]

Sorry about that.

[C]

Now.

[D]

Oh, man, this is brutal. This is brutal. Should we have him set the bar?

[E]

He's on.

[D]

All right, let's do it. Nikki Six is on the line. Nikki Six, are you there, sir?

[E]

I am here.

[D]

And we are playing a game in your honor, my friend.

[E]

I heard. I heard he blew it.

[D]

He blew it completely. Now it's called Six Shat Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim is. It's his 79th birthday. William Shatner is our favorite entertainer of all time, and you are our guest today. So six Shat Tiny is the game. We give a clue and then.

[E]

Wait a minute. I think that's the super group.

[D]

Wait a minute. Is that right? Yeah, I think it could be a super group. All musicians. All you need is Scott. Ian. We'll go. I guess he can fill in as Tiny. All right. Would you like to play?

[E]

I might miss.

[D]

All right, we're gonna set the bar with you. If you can get these, all you have to do is guess who you think we're talking about. It's either you, William Shatner or Tiny Tim.

[E]

All right. Okay, okay. I know Tiny Tim now. I'm a big fan.

[D]

You're a big fan of Tiny Tim. All right, let's see what you got here. All right. Are you a big fan of William Shatner?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, I love William Shatner.

[D]

Of course you do. All right, here we go. We'll start the clock right now. Dropped out of high school, Nikki. All right, that counts for two people. Known as a falsetto.

[E]

Oh, Tiny Tim.

[D]

Tiny Tim is correct. Born Herbert Cook.

[E]

That's gotta be Tiny Tim.

[D]

Tiny Tim is correct. Star Trek 2 the Wrath of Khan.

[E]

Well, come on. It's Tiny Tim. No, I'm kidding.

[D]

Worked with the Sex Pistols.

[E]

Oh, my God. If that's Tiny Tim, I'm gonna really, like, look up to him. Tiny Tim.

[D]

It was you.

[E]

That's a trick.

[D]

You can't miss one of those trickery. Nikki. That's you, man.

[E]

That's a trick question.

[D]

This game's too hard for the regular people. We got a guy who's actually one of the members of the Answer crew. You missed it. I'm very disappointed. That's very disappointing.

[E]

That was a trick question.

[D]

How is that a trick question?

[E]

Did you Sex Pistol? Yes, but he wasn't in Sex Pistols at the time. So when you said Sex Pistols, I thought of these Sex Pistols.

[D]

Okay, so you were actually rolling out there on stage with the Sex on that?

[E]

Yeah, in my mind, I was playing Anarchy in the UK on stage with the Sex Pistol. So I think that was a trick question. Okay, I think I should get a point for that.

[D]

All right, well, keep going then. Even though, you know, we find it to be controversial, you are. You are one of the guys in the game's named after. So I guess we'll give you a break here. All right, let's keep trying another one here. Generation Swine.

[E]

Oh, that's Motley Crue.

[D]

Okay. I'm just checking to see if you're still on board. Made $50,000 a week in Vegas for years.

[E]

Oh, God, Shatner.

[D]

Come on. No, we can't give you a pass on that one. That was your idol, Tiny Tim. That's a good bar, though. That's pretty good. It was like five grand a week. How ironic. You got six. Nikki Six gets six. How are you, man?

[E]

I'm doing good, man.

[D]

All right, do you want to help? Do you want to help the last couple contestants flail away at this game?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

All right, hold on, here we go. We're gonna get the last two people here. Amy's online. Amy, are you there? Oops, I gotta turn her on. Amy, are you there?

[E]

Yes, I am.

[D]

All right, Amy, you're on with us here. And Nikki Sixx, Say hello.

[E]

Thank you. Hi.

[D]

Are you using, like. Are there Benoit Balls in your hands? What's that noise?

[E]

Yeah, I'm in a car, unfortunately, in Los Angeles, stuck in traffic.

[D]

Yeah, you're gonna be there for hours.

[E]

Yeah, so this is actually the highlight of my day right now. I'm sorry, not the traffic. I'm excited about this. Can we do this all day, please?

[G]

Yes, we.

[D]

And you've got nothing but time on your hands, Nikki Six. All right, Amy, you get to answer, and you can use Nikki Six's help. All right? All right. All you have to do is get six. Okay? That's the bar.

[E]

Am I a go to guy? Like.

[D]

She can use you.

[E]

Okay. Okay, so I don't say anything. I just. If she says, Nikki, I need help, then we can do it.

[D]

Right, but if she says six, that's an answer.

[E]

Okay, got it.

[D]

All right, here we go. All right, Nikki Six and Amy together in six. Shat Tiny. Amy. Here we go. We start here. First name is Frank Tiny.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[D]

It's actually Frank Six. Yeah, sorry about that.

[E]

The other one.

[D]

Big fan. Did you know that, Nikki?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

She did not know that. Let's try Brian real quick. Brian, you're on with Nikki Six. How are you, friend?

[E]

Not too bad, man.

[D]

All right, Say hi to Nikki Six. He's in the car.

[E]

How you doing, Mr. Six? Hey, man. How you doing, man? I'm your lifeline, okay? Go for it.

[D]

All right, you ready? You got it, Mr. Six. I know, I like that, too. All right, Brian Ryan, here we go. Are you ready?

[E]

You got him.

[D]

Worked with Alice Cooper 6. Is that right?

[E]

Yep, that's right.

[D]

Okay, good. T.J. hooker, Mr. Shat that's right. Sang with Cher. Tiny Nice was on howdy duty as a cast member.

[E]

Wow. Nikki Sixx. Oh, dude, why would you.

[D]

No, he didn't. That was one of us. It's okay. It's okay. You've eliminated. You've eliminated an answer.

[E]

I was gonna say I almost followed.

[D]

Through with that merry effing.

[G]

From the big red radio.

[F]

It'S John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughopkins.com. i got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely.

[D]

Had to sell to feel like they.

[F]

Were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.

[D]

Doug Hopkins 1-800-tail- now.

[G]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. All right, as you probably already know, we've got the big Holmberg After Dark show this Friday, December 12th. An amazing list of guests will be a part of it all. You're not going to want to miss this one, but you better get those tickets fast because this one sells out. Hole after dark Friday, December 12, at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and 10pm improv.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[E]

Oh, man. I'm fighting with two of your listeners, Brian.

[D]

Who is it?

[E]

I'm sorry?

[D]

Who do you think that was? Howdy Duty cast member you got after.

[E]

That, but after that result, I'm gonna go with tiny.

[D]

Incorrect. Unbelievable. All right, Brian, Nice try, Nikki. Nobody gets your game. Nobody understands what's happening here. You even missed one on yourself.

[E]

So I know this is a hard game.

[D]

It can be.

[E]

Well, it's the time of day, you know, everyone's. No one's really awake yet. I could give, you know, maybe if they, like, had an IB with some Starbucks in them, right? You did the show like an hour or two later. You know, we might be a little more alert.

[D]

So you're saying this a game for afternoon drive, which you'll still be in traffic, so you Might want to call back. We'll try again later.

[E]

We'll try again later indeed.

[D]

Plus, the game is a little tough because how many Tiny Tim historians are actually out there going, finally, I get to call a radio show with my knowledge? Nobody. Nobody. Were you a fan of. Were you a fan of Tiny Tim's?

[E]

Well, you know what some of his. His earlier albums are with that Tin Pan Alley, like, piano and stuff?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

It's so creepy. I love it.

[D]

It is creepy. It's creepy. And almost like it's so creepy it comes back to being cute.

[E]

Well, I mean, it is. It is cute in a kind of a serial killer kind of way.

[D]

Exactly. It's like you feel bad for kind of liking it in its own. And then he got creepier and creeper, you know, and something happened to his mouth. He was very creepy. There's nothing that. Who's the creepiest celebrity you've ever met? Like, somebody. You're like, my God, this guy. I mean, might look the part of just being a super celebrity, but you're like, wow, do I get a vibe.

[A]

Off of this guy?

[E]

Well, I'm not gonna give a name, but I'll say. You know, there's like, the Academy Awards.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

And there's, like, this Vanity Fair huge party after one, and I was invited to one, so I was like, I don't know why they invited me. I guess they needed someone to laugh at. And I went to the party and I walked, and it was like. I was like in that scene from the Twilight Zone when everybody's faces had pig masks.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

All the plastic surgery. And I'm like, well, there's that movie star. And why is their noses different? And I'm like, whoa, what happened to their lips? And, whoa, their eyebrows are, like, on top of their head. It was plastic surgery city. It was like, literally. It was a creep show. It was weird. I wish I could have taken pictures of them.

[D]

I like that a guy who's hung out with Mick Mars for years looks around a room and goes, wow, these people are weird looking. They must have been really strange.

[E]

Nick Mars is, like, so rad. He's like. He's so cool. You know he's a pirate. I didn't know that.

[D]

Is that real? Is that a fact?

[E]

He's a real pirate. No, he really is a pirate.

[D]

By the way, our research department just chimed in and I'm sorry, you were incorrect. The creepiest celebrity you've met is Tommy Lee.

[E]

Oh, he's not creepy in a way.

[D]

Come on. You give Me a little bit. He's like a normal dude you'd love to hang out with and stuff, but there's some creep factor going in there. He's gonna take your sister.

[E]

Oh, yeah. He will do your sister.

[D]

There's no doubt about that.

[E]

I tried to do. But I tried to do his sister. So where do I go on the creep?

[D]

Did you succeed? You've made it.

[E]

No, I didn't.

[D]

You struck out with Tommy Lee's sister.

[E]

And his mom and put you back on top.

[D]

Nicely done.

[E]

I was younger. You know, you can always. It's kind of like if you're a Catholic, you can go to church and you can, like, repent and say, I'm sorry. And they go, okay, you're all good. It's like being younger in a rock band. You can say, yeah, I tried to do Tommy's mom. And they're like, it's okay, Nikki. You were younger.

[D]

What move do you make on Tommy's mom? And how interested was she?

[E]

She wasn't interested at all.

[D]

No, but you still gave it the run. Now, you did do. You did do Lita Ford.

[E]

Yep, yep, yep.

[D]

How was that?

[E]

How was that? What? Do you want to blow by blow?

[D]

Yeah, I do, actually.

[G]

I do.

[D]

Is that how she introduced herself?

[E]

Let's just. Next question.

[G]

All right, good.

[D]

Go. You know, I was at a conc concert with. It was crew and Lita Ford and faster pussycat in 1989, I think. And Lita Ford's boob almost fell out at the show. And something was wrong with the sound during her set. It was really going poorly, and she was trying to save it, so she kept trying to make her boob fall out. And she said. And the crowd was on purpose. She was trying to make her kind of. It seemed like they were trying. Like she was trying to push much. She knew something was wrong. Wardrobe malfunction. Crowd wasn't really doing much. It got real quiet. And then the song stopped, right? And she goes, oh, man, my tit almost fell out. And you audibly heard a guy, what? And then she goes, f you. And then she starts fighting with this one guy who's not interested in her jugs at all. And I'm like, oh, this is. This is gonna be a great night.

[E]

This is gonna be a good night. This is how we're starting. Yeah, that's Lita.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

She has a potty mouth on her.

[D]

She does have a bit of a potty mouth. That could have been the night Nikki hooked up with her.

[C]

Was it.

[D]

Was it in Phoenix back in 89. I think it was July 19th. Oh, nope, sorry, but your phone cut out. Are you there?

[E]

Oh, yeah, we were. We were in the friend zone by then.

[D]

Oh. All right. So you got her early. That's good. What's the best tour you guys ever went on? What bands are you like? My God, if that could have lasted forever, I'd have painted that day.

[E]

You know what? I know it sounds, you know, like, oh, yeah, I can dance or whatever, but, you know, when you get done with the tour, you're friends with everybody and you think it's never gonna be like that again. And then you got on the next tour, and it's like a new family, and you meet all new people, and it just keeps getting better. I mean. I mean, the Crew Fest tours were awesome with Papa Roach and Buck Cherry and, you know, the Theory of a Dead Man. Those guys are such good guys, and we just all become friends, and that's kind of what the touring always ends in. So.

[D]

I don't know.

[E]

You know, it's like I'm still close to the guys in Kiss and Ozzy, you know, everyone we've gone out with. It's cool.

[D]

It's just such a. It's. It's such a strange existence. Probably from where you started to. To be on the phone with some idiot in Phoenix saying, you know, I'm pals with Ozzy. I'm pals. Do you ever imagine this. This exploding the way it did for you guys?

[E]

No. I mean, listen, you know, you don't. And then there's a day. Like, a day like, I'm going to explain where my daughter goes, dad, I want to make some money because I want to buy a pony. And I'm thinking, you better make some money because Daddy buying you no pony, right? After a week, you get tired of it. I'm gonna be the guy out there shoveling, right?

[D]

Yeah. That pony's yours after a while.

[E]

I. I want a lot of things, but a pony's not on my list.

[D]

Anytime a daughter offers up that she wants a pony, just introduce her to Tommy Lee. Oh, come on now.

[E]

You crossed the line.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Wait a minute. You were banging moms a second ago.

[C]

I thought we were.

[D]

I thought we were in the trust tree. No, when she's of age, for God's sake, she can't give her away early.

[E]

She's 10. Dude.

[D]

That's too early. What were you thinking? That's far too early.

[E]

Oh, my God. I thought I was. Was broken in the frame. So, anyway, Back to the story. Geez, I feel greasy now.

[D]

I am now the creepiest person you've ever met.

[E]

You're the creepiest person for sure. You just went to the top of the list.

[D]

I didn't know what she was. Mick Mars has grandchildren. I don't know how old she was.

[E]

Mick Mars has great grandchildren. Thank you.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[E]

I forgot. So anyway, so we're sitting there, and, you know, she's selling her lemonade. And I'm sitting there, and. And Ozzy pulls up. He's like, nicky. And I go, hey, Ozzy wants some lemonade. He goes, all right. So he buys some lemonade, and then up pulls the guys in My Chemical Romance. And they're like, hey, dude, what are you doing? I go, my daughter's selling lemonade to buy a pony. And they're like, okay, man. And then they get out, and then Alex Van Halen drives by in Honk, and I go, thanks for stopping, asshole. You know, and then Jennifer Lopez stopped, drove by, and I was like, please don't stop. Please don't stop.

[D]

Yeah, no, that's dangerous for the family.

[E]

Dangerous for the family. You know, so it's just, like, a weird neighborhood. Howie Mandel drove by, and he's like, you know, how much. You know, how much for the lemonade? Well, it's 10 cents. Here's a hundred. You know, my daughter's like, okay, dad, can we go buy a pony now? I go, you're not. No.

[D]

This is great. We need to call VH1 and start a Nicky sick. You have Nikki Sixx daughter behind the pony again.

[E]

Behind the pony.

[D]

Now that's out of line. You are out of line, my friend.

[E]

Oh, my God. That sounds like. That sounds like right out of the 80s. Behind a pony with Nicky Stick, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[G]

He said fully erect.

[F]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm.

[D]

Gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it.

[F]

Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000.

[D]

What do you do?

[F]

Start the process right [e-mail] or grab.

[D]

The phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now.

[G]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head north to Desert Ridge to catch Chris Turner from AGT and Heather Posternach perform in Tempe at the Improv. You've got mat friend and local girl Jesse Jet Ski Johnson doing their sets in downtown at Stand Up Live. Enjoy the comedy of Timmy Nobrakes, Lunell and Jay Farrow entertaining you this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive. Com, desertridgeimprov.com and tempimprob. Com.