12-23-25 - BR - MIX - Natl Maple Syrup Day Sparks Debate - Naked In Bass Pro Fish Tank - Dec/Jan2024 - BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 12-23-25 – Natl Maple Syrup Day Sparks Debate – Naked In Bass Pro Fish Tank

Date: December 23, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Guest appearances: Ralphie May (via phone/segment), various callers

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Episode Overview

On this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the crew dives into quirky celebration of National Maple Syrup Day, sparking a heated debate on “real” vs. store-bought syrup, fond childhood food ads, and how America’s breakfast tables divide over guilty pleasures. The show also covers viral holiday studies, weird news (including a naked cannonball at Bass Pro Shops), and engages in some classic, irreverent riffing on holiday traditions, buses, and dinosaur favorites.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. National Maple Syrup Day and the Great Syrup Debate

Timestamps: 01:52–07:41

• Brady Bogan opens with a cheerful “Happy National Maple Syrup Day,” prompting John and the gang to reflect on authentic maple syrup vs. classics like Mrs. Butterworth or Aunt Jemima.
• John Holmberg admits, “I actually prefer Mrs. Buttersworth over everything I’ve ever had. And maybe I’ve had real syrup and maybe I haven’t. Where do they have it? Like IHOP?” (03:38)
• Brady notes, “You can get [real maple syrup] at Costco,” but John can’t imagine needing “a jug of syrup” (03:54).
• Conversation pivots to the nostalgic allure of Mrs. Butterworth’s commercials, iconic bottle design, and the peculiar “comfort” of talking food mascots.
• Memorable Quote:
  • John: “I like the commercial. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around. I used to hate it when my bottle didn’t come to life and start talking to me about breakfast.” (03:59)

2. Candy Canes, Sugar Intake & Health Risks

Timestamps: 07:48–10:09

• Brady shares a survey on the “right way” to eat candy canes—majority start from the straight end, but a suggestive aside from Ralphie May:
  • “If she starts with the curve and she’s a pro…she’s done that for money.” (08:06)
• The hosts joke about sugar consumption, surprising study results show that avoiding all added sugar may also increase heart risk.
• Ralphie May: “No sugar is bad for you. And all sugar is bad for you.” (08:39)

3. The Dinosaur Debate – Pop Surveys, Childhood Favorites

Timestamps: 10:13–11:43, 27:08–28:59

• A new poll finds 59% of adults have a favorite dinosaur; John points out, “41% of adults that have a favorite dinosaur also have Asperger’s.” (11:06)
• Ralphie May jests about the red flags when dating someone with a dino obsession:
  • “If you’re on a date with somebody, say, ‘what’s your favorite dinosaur?’ and they answer...leave. You could end up in a box.” (10:34)
• The conversation returns later as the crew lampoons radio consultant clichés:
  • John: “That’s why radio’s surviving in all these markets. These great ideas...what’s your favorite dinosaur? You get an hour’s worth of radio out of that.” (27:11)

4. Weird News: Naked Cannonball at Bass Pro Shop

Timestamps: 17:33–19:18, 25:45–26:37

• Brady shares a bizarre headline:
  • 42-year-old Alabama man crashes, strips, storms Bass Pro Shops, and cannonballs into the giant aquarium—twice—before knocking himself out.
• The crew jokes about how this would play out for a radio stunt, with John promising:
  • “Brady, I will pay all of your fees and fines if you do a naked dive into the aquarium of Bass Pro. All of it—so worth it, so good for the show.” (18:26)
• The incident inspires running jokes about hosting “Rock Wars” loser challenges and feeding frenzies.

5. Holiday Traditions: What Can We Ditch (and What to Keep)

Timestamps: 20:01–24:07

• Survey results on which holiday traditions Americans wish would disappear:
  1. Sending Christmas cards (John: “It is the least you can do for somebody. It is thoughtless, meaningless.” (20:17))
  2. Christmas sweaters
  3. Carolers (John: “I think that only works in snow.” (21:51))
  4. Gift giving/Secret Santa
  5. Christmas music
• New traditions discussed: All-day pajamas, quality time over gifts, themed Christmases.
• John’s holiday take:
  • “I love Christmas—the excessive celebration of commerce. It’s the most capitalistic holiday we’ve got.” (22:26)
  • “We dress our houses up like hookers every year…shower each other with stuff that is glorious.” (22:41)
• Lighthearted debate about baking Jesus a birthday cake.
  • John: “You do a birthday cake, really, as a family?” (24:50)
  • Brett: “Never heard of that.” (24:55)

6. Hot Takes on Buses and Public Transit

Timestamps: 13:05–17:33

• Ranking what annoys bus riders: personal hygiene, loud music, smoking/vaping, sexual activity.
• John gets brutally honest:
  • “If you’re at a bus stop right now, I’m sorry, but it’s not going your way. It’s not New York City.” (15:54)
  • “There isn’t one, like, you know, Greta Thunberg in Phoenix that just takes the bus…No, because then you meet the people on the bus, and you’re like, I can’t do this. I don’t love the Earth this much.” (16:18)
• The “bus of the sky” (Spirit Airlines) and light rail get their share of ridicule.

7. Tech Wonders: CES Highlight

Timestamps: 11:42–12:41

• News from the Consumer Electronics Show: LG’s see-through “OLED T” TV – “When it’s off, you can see right through it.” (11:55)
• The gang riff on marketing language and accidental double entendre (“getting rid of the big black rectangle”), leading to more jokes about accidental racism and how laughter reveals character.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John on syrup fakeness: “Mrs. Butterworth is about as fake ass crap as you can get. If it don’t cost over 7 or 8 bucks, it ain’t real.” (06:49, caller)
• Ralphie May: “If you spend $10 on syrup, you got a problem. You got something going on.” (07:26)
• John on Christmas traditions: “We dress our houses up like hookers every year. Throw a tree in there. We dress that like a hooker, and then we just shower each other with stuff that is glorious.” (22:41)
• John on buses: “If you’re at a bus stop right now, I’m sorry, but it’s not going your way. It’s not New York City. If you’re taking a bus here, things aren’t going your way.” (15:54)
• Ralphie May (re: candy canes): “If she starts with the curve…she’s a pro. She’s done that for money.” (08:06)
• On tradition innovations:
  • Brady: “Spend all day in your pajamas.” (21:59)
  • John: “That’s every Saturday and Sunday.” (22:01)

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:52 – Brady kicks off the “Brady Report,” National Maple Syrup Day
• 03:30–05:15 – Mrs. Butterworth nostalgia, commercials
• 06:49–07:41 – Call-in: real vs. fake syrup debates, cost gripes
• 10:13–11:43 & 27:08–28:59 – The dinosaur debate, radio consultant satire
• 13:05–17:33 – Bus survey, public transit gripes, bus=life failure analogies
• 17:33–19:18 / 25:45–26:37 – Naked Bass Pro tank incident, recurring joke
• 20:01–24:07 – Which Christmas traditions to ditch, John’s ode to “hooker houses” and capitalist Christmas
• 24:50–25:45 – Jesus birthday cake, family traditions, cake jokes

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Tone & Style

Irreverent, quick-witted, and packed with humor. The hosts riff off each other naturally—with John leading much of the sarcasm, gentle ribbing (especially at Brady), and pointed, tongue-in-cheek commentary on American consumerism, pop culture, and the perils of modern life. Occasional (and deliberate) edginess abounds, with playful teases of callers and each other.

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In a Nutshell

This episode is an on-brand blend of fun banter, pop culture snark, and slice-of-life Arizona perspective. Listeners get a front row seat to the quirks of morning radio—a mix of nostalgic commercials, random viral stories, and perennial debates over the "realness" of syrup, candy cane etiquette, and why Christmas is better when you celebrate its “hooker house” opulence over reluctant tradition.

Listeners get:

• Hot takes on everything from Bass Pro Shop antics to personal holiday peeves
• A reminder that the joy of Christmas (and radio) is often found in the excessive, the absurd, and the not-so-serious.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Here's another best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] 78 degrees today in this beautiful place. So you can sit, get a little shade so you're not, you know, squinting. Squinting causes wrinkles and we're all getting to that age. We got to worry about that. So let's get some shade on that back patio while we're sitting outside sipping mimosas and watching TV on that glorious television you've got in your back patio as well. A lot of people have that going on, but the glare gets them all. Pro Shade can fix that. Check it out. All pro shade.com get a motorized shade or one of those blinds right now and they'll throw in a heater for you so you can enjoy the nighttime temperatures when the shade is permanent. AllPro Shade.com is where you go. Brady Report.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Maple Syrup Day.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Sounded a little erotic how you said that.

[Brady Bogan]

It is for people.

[John Holmberg]

No maple syrup Is a game changer person. A game changer?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In what regard?

[Brady Bogan]

The real maple syrup.

[John Holmberg]

How different is it? Is it different?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Butters Butterworth's pretty good. I ain't complaining about that again.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't mind it, you know. Yeah, I got no complaints.

[John Holmberg]

Are you snobbish about your.

[Brady Bogan]

I get maple syrup.

[John Holmberg]

You do?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it's that drastically. Because every time I've had, like, something, like everything, like Log Cabin or something.

[Brady Bogan]

But it's not like I have pancakes or waffles all the time.

[John Holmberg]

But I don't like. I actually prefer Ms. Buttersworth over everything I've ever had. And maybe I've had real syrup and maybe I haven't. Where do they have it? Like ihop.

[Brady Bogan]

You can get it at Costco.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm saying, like in a restaurant. I'm not gonna go to Costco and shop for syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll never get a nice little jug of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't need a jug of syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

That's all you need.

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody does.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody needs a jug.

[Brady Bogan]

Take a little swig from it. Never mind.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna ask.

[Brett Vesely]

It's doing shoes.

[John Holmberg]

Yours have three X's on it. Like, where can I. Do they have it at ihop? I'm asking. It's the only place I'll ever eat pancakes.

[Brady Bogan]

They. They do have that International. International Lazy Susan with all the flavors.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think they have that anymore. Last time I was there.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I haven't been there in a while too. I would assume they would have it.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

But then again, IHOP doesn't have the real stuff. Cracker Barrel has it, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Game changer. All right.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

And didn't say that, but I said he did.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I'll stick to Mrs. Butterworth. That seems reasonable. And it's close enough. It's like Adderall and cocaine. But if you had one, I'm gonna do the other one.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not gonna tell the difference between Aunt Jemima and Butterworth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

What about Log Cabin?

[John Holmberg]

One's wearing a bandana and the other's glass.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm the taste.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Not the wardrobe. Eh, maybe I prefer Mrs. Butterworth. I like the commercial. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around. I used to hate it when my. My bottle didn't come to life and start talking to me about breakfast. Hello. She's skating around on the thing. I thought that was cool. And then you put that little bottle. You're like, come on, come on, come to life. It was Drainer.

[Brady Bogan]

Like the honey bear, too, on honey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Honey bear made me. Honey bear was adorable, comforting. Yeah, but he never, like, had a commercial where he was like, hey, Mrs. Butterworth was like. The bottle just started sliding around.

[Brady Bogan]

She did Interact.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't a cartoon. It was like the bottle thing says, does Brady eat like Buddy the elf? Yep. He gets excited about the same thing.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

So waffles, pancakes.

[John Holmberg]

It's hard to keep him out of the tree.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Hostess made potato chips with orange, cherry, and grape flavors in the 1970s and unleashed them in Canada, and they failed miserably.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, this doesn't count. Brett, you found a Ms. Butterworth's Light Commercial.

[Mrs. Butterworth Voice Actor or Character]

Then you say.

[Brady Bogan]

You really do talk.

[Mrs. Butterworth Voice Actor or Character]

My light syrup's even thicker than before with almost half the calories of my regular syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

Mom, this is Butterworth talking.

[Mrs. Butterworth Voice Actor or Character]

I know. Dear Mrs. Butterworth.

[John Holmberg]

You crazy little bitch.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

We're gonna go to the.

[John Holmberg]

The. We're going to the.

[Brett Vesely]

The original one here. Hang on a second.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, the bottle's talking to the baby again. Well, that's limu. Emu. That's not.

[Brett Vesely]

Kim Fields.

[John Holmberg]

It is Tootie. Tootie.

[Mrs. Butterworth Voice Actor or Character]

Syrup is very thick and rich. Thick and rich. Just watch. See how the leading syrup just runs over this stair cabinet? While Mrs. Butterworth takes her own snive? Now, my syrup's got to be thick to pour this slowly. Truth is, Mrs. Butterworth's is twice as thick as the other one.

[John Holmberg]

She's thick in all the right spaces.

[Ralphie May]

Rich.

[John Holmberg]

And get your fingers off the food, you pig.

[Ralphie May]

I love you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I felt the same way.

[Brady Bogan]

What was the difference? What did Aunt Jemima, huh? On her commercial, she didn't interact, or.

[John Holmberg]

Was it just she wasn't allowed to talk to the homeowners? I don't think she allowed to speak to the people in the house until she was spoken to.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

I don't remember Aunt Jemima.

[John Holmberg]

Remember they had to change her clothes there because it was getting a little uncomfortable seeing her on the front? I don't think Aunt Jemima got to talk to the people. Just white people pouring stuff all over the place.

[Mrs. Butterworth Voice Actor or Character]

Aunt Jemima, pancakes without her syrup is like the spring without the fall.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow. That's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

That's crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Man.

[John Holmberg]

I love that Mrs. Butterworth bottle. There's something weird about it.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

John, I love you, man.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Representative]

I really do.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Been listening for a long time, but come on, dude. Mrs. Butterworth is about as fake ass crap as you can get. If it don't cost over seven or eight bucks, it ain't real.

[Brett Vesely]

Syrup?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Sign Brady Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

All right. I don't think it's that big a difference. I don't think on your pipe and hot flapjacks. Yeah. I think you got a problem.

[Brady Bogan]

Real maple syrup.

[Ralphie May]

Selena, thanks for reading my email. Brady's right. It don't cost you 10 bucks for your 2 cent flapjacks to taste a little bit different. It ain't worth it.

[Brady Bogan]

Stay here. Ralphie. Got a couple of stories I'll tell you right now.

[Ralphie May]

Brady, that's expensive syrup. And I'll also say this. If you've got a problem. Oh, absolutely. If you spend a $10 on syrup, you got a problem. You got something going on.

[Brady Bogan]

You got a problem from Ralphie.

[Ralphie May]

Yeah, you might have a weight issue. Ralphie May tells you you're a little bit chunky. You've lost it.

[Brady Bogan]

America's divided on the correct way to eat a candy cane.

[Ralphie May]

One bite.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Representative]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

You crunch them.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

I know you do.

[Brady Bogan]

54. Start with the end. The straight end. Yep.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

30.

[Brady Bogan]

Start with the curved end. And 16.

[John Holmberg]

That's when you know you break them apart into pieces.

[Ralphie May]

Give it to a woman. If she starts with a curve and she's a pro. You gotta get her going. She's a pro. She's done that.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Work her way around.

[Ralphie May]

Talina, she's done that for money. She is a pro. Starts at the curved end. I tell you, right there. Nothing gonna stop her playing.

[Brady Bogan]

Ralphie. A study found that eating too many sweets is bad for your heart. But eating no sweets or sugar, bad for your soul. It's bad for your heart too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Zero sugar is bad for your soul.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[Ralphie May]

This just did on the Brady report. No sugar is bad for you. And all sugar is bad for you.

[Brady Bogan]

Researchers tracked the added sugar intake of 70,000 people to see how it affected their heart health. They looked at three sources. Sugary toppings like honey. Sweets like cookies. Sweetened drinks like soda. They found that too much sugar, especially in drinks, can up your risk in a heart attack or stroke.

[Ralphie May]

I know about that.

[Brady Bogan]

They were surprised to find that people who completely avoided sugar were also at a higher risk.

[Ralphie May]

I found that a hot shower at 8am Is upping your wrist for a heart attack. Pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

They think it's possible that.

[Ralphie May]

What? Why would I do that? Dumbass. Shut up. Why would I suffocate myself?

[Brady Bogan]

They think it's possible that had a massive heart attack.

[Ralphie May]

Toledo. And laid under a bed.

[Brady Bogan]

Left a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. What?

[Ralphie May]

Yeah. I had some food near the roof. Imagine that. Brady always remembers the finer Details of a man's heart attack. Who's gonna finish off these fruity Pebbles?

[Brady Bogan]

Watch this.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

How'd Elvis die.

[Brady Bogan]

On the toilet? Impacted fecal matter.

[Ralphie May]

Bunch of poop inside. I suffocated. Toledo thinks I'm so fat I couldn't get my head out of a pillow.

[Brady Bogan]

Unbelievable.

[Ralphie May]

Dumbass. Shut up. Come on, Brady, tell more dirty story.

[Brady Bogan]

That's it, Ralphie.

[Ralphie May]

All right, I'm out of here.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. What?

[Brady Bogan]

What's your favorite dinosaur?

[Ralphie May]

Oh, no, this is a dad joke. I'm gonna be mad that I didn't leave.

[Brady Bogan]

They surveyed Americans to see if they have a favorite dinosaur.

[Ralphie May]

I like the velociraptor.

[Brady Bogan]

Nice. Okay, 41 of adults don't have a favorite dinosaur because they're grown ups. Brady, what's yours?

[Ralphie May]

Brady, the scary part of that is 59 of adults do. If you're on a date with somebody say, what's your favorite dinosaur? And they answer, leave. You can end up in a box.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

He just left.

[Brady Bogan]

He should have stuck around.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Texter says, hey, Ralphie, you know Ms. Butterworth's got a higher credit score than Aunt Jemima.

[Ralphie May]

Hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 41% of adults that have a favorite dinosaur also have Asperger's.

[Brady Bogan]

I grew up a tricerat, like in the triceratops. As I've gotten older.

[John Holmberg]

Favorite dinosaur. Well, let's see. What's your favorite color? Okay, that's reasonable. But still, I'm an adult. Favorite dinosaur. What's your favorite bug? Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character? All right, this dates over.

[Brady Bogan]

The annual Consumers Electronics show in Vegas. Starts today. Runs through Friday. Already got tipped off on a couple of things out there. LG has a new see through tv. It's called the oled t. Transparent. When it's off, you can see right through it.

[John Holmberg]

The TV just goes away.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like a window.

[John Holmberg]

It's invisible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. They claim they're getting rid of the big black rectangle that makes the whole world feel big.

[John Holmberg]

I knew you'd laugh at that. He just hated that. He laughed when you said getting rid of the big black blank. That was it. He can't live without the world being filled with, oh, racism. And it's again, I have to explain to people, Brett's not racist. No, he just knows a lot of people out there are going to find that hysterical. He seeks it because it. Well, it finds you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. A brand called Sevy.

[John Holmberg]

Can you just. Before you start laughing, just start with oh, cuz you know that's gonna spark Someone else.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Representative]

I think that's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is my.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

As soon as you hear me start laughing.

[John Holmberg]

If Brett heard it, that means somebody really bad heard it, too, and they're gonna do something about it.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I'll be out somewhere and somebody's always like, oh, man, dude, you laugh.

[John Holmberg]

At the same stuff I do. Exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

And they'll feel bad.

[John Holmberg]

And that's a. That's a. I'm going to say it. That's a trigger to knowing that that person is evil or potentially evil. That's a fact.

[Brady Bogan]

A new poll asks thousands of bus travelers worldwide to. To rank the things that annoy them the most that other riders do about.

[John Holmberg]

The bus, about riding. Here's what should you do the most? Is that you don't have a very good job.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you going to say that? The number one response was playing music too loud.

[John Holmberg]

I'm poor is the answer.

[Brady Bogan]

Participating in sexual activity was second.

[John Holmberg]

I don't get you.

[Brady Bogan]

Followed by having poor personal hygiene. Those were the global rankings. But among Americans, yeah, the most annoying thing was personal hygiene number one. Then playing loud music, followed by smoking or vaping, then talking too loudly and then coming in fifth place. Sexual activity.

[John Holmberg]

It's landed on both the international and American stuff you don't like to see on a bus.

[Brady Bogan]

And all five of those outranked, passing gas or burping.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even like thinking about people on the bus having sex, let alone actually see.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't like think about the bus.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like. Yeah, I like. I like to look at buses and kind of thank my lucky stars. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Representative]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's John Holmberg from the morning Sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit online Happy Endings Euthanasia dot Because every pet's life should have a happy ending. Holmberg's morning sickness. I've seen bus stops. That's the last place I want to stand for a few seconds. No offense to you people at the bus stop. Except for, yes, it is. If you're at a bus stop right now, I'm sorry, but it's not going your way. It's not New York City. If you're taking a bus here, things aren't going your way.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

And I'd say you probably, probably know that.

[John Holmberg]

But they know that. That's why they get so mad when you're like, you're not doing this for the environment. Hey, yeah. There isn't one like, you know, Greta Thunberg in Phoenix that just takes the bus. If you're taking it because. No, because then you meet the people on the bus and you're like, I can't do this. I don't care. I don't love the Earth this much. What. What about being an environmentalist would continue to be passionate to you about saving the planet when you meet the people that you're saving on the bus? Like, that's the fastest way to want the Earth to go away is to be on a bus. Like, we need to do something about this place. I'm not getting on any buses, even the private bus. Like, I don't like going on the shuttles at Phoenix Open. And I know that has that. But I don't like getting on those things. They're awful. The trolley to a Cubs game.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why some of those cities where.

[Brett Vesely]

Light rail.

[John Holmberg]

Light rail, Spirit airlines, the bus, the bus of the sky. They call them sky buses. No, thanks. And again, I apologize to you. But if you're standing in line for the bus or you're actually on the bus right now, unless you're the driver, this isn't worked out for you.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't go back to school front of it.

[John Holmberg]

By any means, go back to school. That's right. If you're on a bus right now, there's plenty of online colleges and anything's better than what you're doing.

[Brady Bogan]

42 year old George Owens, he's from Leeds, Alabama. He crashed his car into a pole in the parking lot of the Bass Pro shop. And he got out of his car, stripped off all his clothes, ran into the store and did a cannonball in the aquarium.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. So much better than feeding bass.

[Brady Bogan]

He walked over, stood under the waterfall for a little.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Wash your time.

[Brady Bogan]

Shoppers were stunned. The police showed up. Before they caught him, he jumped in the water a second time, then slipped, knocked himself out.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Is that why you don't drink?

[Brady Bogan]

Brady?

[John Holmberg]

You would be in there.

[Brady Bogan]

That's part of it.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You would definitely. Cannonball at the Bass Pro Shops. Totally worth whatever the fine. Oh my God, I hope he's.

[Brady Bogan]

That would public lewdness, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's.

[John Holmberg]

That was him losing it. Brady, I will pay all of your fees and fines if you do a naked dive into the aquarium of Bass Pro. All of so worth it. So good for the show. In other news, local radio disc jockey Brady Boggan jumped into a pool at the Bass Pro shop. And everybody listened like, oh my God, he did it. All the fees and fines, you don't have to worry about a thing. Just goes on your record as a great story.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Yeah, you're old enough now. Records.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's holding you. That doesn't matter. Exactly. What do you got? If we're still here in five years, you can retire with that one and you never have to look for a job again. It says here you have a felony. Yeah, I hopped into the Bass Pro Shop aquarium with my dingaling out. That's hilarious. You're hired.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

I for one think you'd be perfect for Cabela's.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to clown college, Brady.

[Ralphie May]

Thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

An old man in Long Island, New York got a little messed up and heated because he tried to reheat his Taco Bell in the microwave and it's aluminum wrapper. So he went back to the Taco Bell, made a big scene berating the employees, demanding that they repay him for his tacos and his microwave.

[John Holmberg]

We left him in there for a while.

[Brady Bogan]

Says it blew up.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Pretty sure it says don't microwave on that aluminum foil.

[Brady Bogan]

He saw one of the employees smile and he slapped him hard. Oh, man, there's a video.

[John Holmberg]

Knock that smug smile off your face before I knock it off for you. I want my 119 back.

[Brady Bogan]

A poll asked 2,000Americans which major Christmas. Christmas traditions they'd be open to getting rid of.

[John Holmberg]

Christmas traditions that you want gone.

[Brady Bogan]

They'd be okay if they're gone. Number one was sending Christmas cards.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, completely. I've been done with. I've been done with all cards for probably 10 or 12 years now. Let me tell you how freeing that is because it is the Lee. I've said it for years. It is the least you can do for somebody. It is thoughtless, meaningless. Somebody else's thoughts you purchase for $2 and send to someone else because that's how little you think of them. You didn't even take the time to write a note. You found something that someone else wrote and then they mass produced and you fired it off to them cards.

[Brady Bogan]

There's usually a little note on it or a page of the rundown of.

[John Holmberg]

Accomplishments if you're gonna. If you. If you put together. That's what Facebook's for. That's what cards have been eliminated.

[Brady Bogan]

Ugly Christmas sweaters.

[Brett Vesely]

Number two, Christmas carolers.

[John Holmberg]

I was thinking that too. That's on the list for me.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three is gift giving. Number four, Secret Santa gift exchanges. People are bailing out on Christmas. Christmas music was number five.

[John Holmberg]

It gets us in trouble. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's push in TROUBLE. The top 10 Christmas movies. Watching Christmas movies. Elf on a shelf. Christmas lights. Holiday treats.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Is there anything.

[Brady Bogan]

And decorating your tree.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's all Christmas stuff. That's dumb. Well, those are just name 10 traditions. Ones that do need to go. I don't have a real problem with it because they don't pop up too often. But Christmas carolers, I got no need for that. I think that only works in snow. You don't want to do that here when it's 80 degrees.

[Brady Bogan]

They also ask the people to rank some new traditions. They swap in. Spend all day in your pajamas.

[John Holmberg]

What's stopping you?

[Brett Vesely]

That's every Saturday and Sunday.

[Brady Bogan]

They're making that a tradition. Go ahead, focus on quality time together instead of gifts, decorations, and meals.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Gifts are important.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three, take a vacation.

[John Holmberg]

That's a gift.

[Brady Bogan]

Or have a themed Christmas. Like tropical Christmas, Christmas in pajamas.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

That's a lot of work.

[John Holmberg]

It's stupid. Just deal with what it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It's a tradition for a reason. If you don't like it, nobody's holding a gun to your head. I love Christmas. The excessive celebration of commerce. It's the most capitalistic holiday we've got.

[Ralphie May]

Hello.

[Brett Vesely]

The vacation time.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus birthday shmurthday. This is about opulence and excessive behaviors. We dress our houses up like hookers every year. We throw a tree in there. We dress that like a hooker, and then we just shower each other with stuff that is glorious. And then we do it in the name of commerce. Nobody ever does a report every Christmas. And, you know, on the day after Black Friday and says, boy, Jesus got a lot of attention. Nope. Say Black Friday was a massive success. All these companies are in the black now. Nobody ever talks about the spirituality. And I know that's what Charlie brown wants you to think, but that's what I celebrate. The excessive whorish nature of our entire nation is on display for three weeks a year. And, man, do we get it going. And I love it. Driving around and seeing everybody's house lit up. It's beautiful, John.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Can we just bounce the religious part of it? That's the worst tradition of all.

[John Holmberg]

I think that is the part that should go because it's. It's been taken over by Wall street and greedy companies, and we're part of it. And I love it. You can. You can keep your religious side of it. Let's just start. Let's just, you know, we can start brushing that aside.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it is.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it has been a lot lately. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Opulence, excessiveness. Oh, it's fantastic. Vacation, my fan. Weeks and weeks of freedom.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the best.

[John Holmberg]

It is the best. You want to toss Jesus birthday in there? Great. Good. Don't care. I'm gonna. I don't put anything on my house outside of just garish lighting and ridiculous decorations all through. I've got teddy bears.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Representative]

Somebody else do.

[John Holmberg]

Well, inside. I don't. The whole place is just loaded with stuff. It's great.

[Brady Bogan]

We grew up. We put our two hours in every. Every Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

For what?

[Brady Bogan]

Usually the religious side, you'd go to mass.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

And then you'd have. What do they call birthday cake?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. And you. Do you still do the cake?

[Brady Bogan]

If. Yeah, the family still does.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

What do they call the ones that are Christmas and Easter only?

[John Holmberg]

CEO, CEO, Christmas, Easter only.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Oh, I just said it.

[John Holmberg]

And you have the. Like your mom's coming out. So you're going to have any excuse to have cake. You just put Happy Birthday Jesus on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you go to. You do a birthday cake for really as a family?

[Brett Vesely]

Never heard of that.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a bogan thing or is that.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

No, no, he nailed it. It's a way to eat.

[John Holmberg]

They still.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think so. I think other people might do it. Maybe just you.

[Brett Vesely]

I've never heard of that.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

I've never heard.

[Brett Vesely]

I've never heard of that.

[John Holmberg]

I went to Brady's house once and it was June and there's a big cake. I'm like, what is it? Jesus is 20, 24 and a half. I'm like, oh, Jesus, we're celebrating cake. Yeah, good stuff. Every half birthday, he's getting his learner's permit.

[Brady Bogan]

Easter's great. There's a couple of cakes.

[John Holmberg]

You get all sorts of cakes. But you get cakes for Easter.

[Brady Bogan]

A Good Friday, you know, leftover even. It's a celebration death cake.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

I know Fat Tuesday has.

[Brady Bogan]

And then Sunday. No, we don't.

[John Holmberg]

You don't do nail them up on a cross cake.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, but I was thinking about. Of course you were thinking about implementing a new tradition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I'm guessing every time you think about traditions, cake is involved.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

So before we get to Brady's videos, this is the Bass Pro shop tank.

[John Holmberg]

This is the aquarium that Brady would get in.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's where the feeding happens, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

There's your dream tank. It's like a sex show for you in there. All those fish. I've never been in a Bass Pro Shops, but it looks like I've seen two feedings.

[Brady Bogan]

Only two? Well, that. No, I think they do it twice a day.

[John Holmberg]

My God, that place looks like Ed Gein's house.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

And it's got a waterfall into the. The tank.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not comfortable in the video.

[Brady Bogan]

There was that trend going around like two years ago where people were doing that jumping in the aquarium. It was like a tick tock never.

[John Holmberg]

Challenge in the Bass pro Shops.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's a couple kids that did it.

[John Holmberg]

Never heard of it. All right.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

It's not really a punishment for Brady, but it sure would be amusing for us if he lost Rock wars and had to jump in the.

[John Holmberg]

Put it in there. Put it in the thing. Put it in the thing. Brady has to be in a tank of bass for a feeding. Whether it's Bass Pro shops or not, we need a tank of bass.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Where's the fish hatchery? We got to get him up there.

[John Holmberg]

And just, like dangling it while the fish eat off of him. Oh, it's his dream because, you know, he got caught beaten off to a fish tank. Imagine if they attacked him.

[Ralphie May]

Oh, it's feeding time.

[John Holmberg]

That guy running down the hall, he ran into kslx David Mahoney. The guys at KPD just came up with a great idea and they didn't even realize it. Have people call in a tell you what their favorite dinosaur is. Radio consultant 101. That's why radio's surviving in all these markets. All these great ideas that consultants are giving these chatgpt morning shows. They call in and say, what's your favorite dinosaur? You get an hour's worth of radio out of that. Okay, I just had to run down here and tell you, God, I love radio.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

Right after their syrup discussion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, how do we do that? And on top of this hotbed of syrup discussion, and remember, if you don't.

[Brady Bogan]

Do it, you're gone.

[John Holmberg]

The nine o' clock hour, we decide what America's favorite dinosaur is, and we go home and put guns in our mouths and think about it.

[Brady Bogan]

Stick his horse is leading.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, great bit today out there. You know, I can't figure out why the state of radio is in such bad shape with bits like, what's your favorite dinosaur? Would you take 30, 40 calls from a bunch of Asperger's adults listening to ELTON John? Smart.

[Radio Show Caller or Guest]

60 of people had one.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't buy the guy who said brontosaurus. I mean, who wants the vegan? It really sparked a lot of conversation around boring households. Radio consultancy, the easiest job in the world. We take dull people and make them duller. And we get paid an astronomical amount of money to do so. Sorry, let's just say we're done. I was closing up shop. Well, the consultant was here. I'm like, I gotta get out of here. There's a reason why radio's dying. And they're called radio consultants.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Representative]

It's out of control now.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmer here, chilling away for new acunit.com holiday. Money is on everybody's mind. Purchases need to be good deals right now as you navigate the inevitable spending this time of year. But looming over so many of you is the eventual need to replace your AC unit. Three easy steps online and you're getting a present that's going to last for years. It'll make your house Christmas cool all year. Long. Let's add a fourth step, shall we? And don't worry, it's easy when you're checking [e-mail] use the promo code homberg and you're going to knock off another thousand bucks right away. Save thousands Save time buy online new ac unit.com it's Brett Vesley from Homebridge.

[Brett Vesely]

Morning sickness now I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work, and it's just what I needed to finally throw in the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or s of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care irrigation, tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs. Get a free quote at DivineDesign Lawn Care.com that's DivineDesignLawnCare.com.