Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: "Best Of" Full Show – December 23, 2025

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona) Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo Date: December 23, 2025 Episode: 12-23-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY

Episode Overview

This ‘Best Of’ episode is a classic, unfiltered blend of banter, absurdity, and Arizona flavor from the HMS crew. John, Brady, Bret, and Toledo riff through everything from cosmic confusions about lunar eclipses and blood moons, to religion’s party policies, family Thanksgiving fights, candid thoughts on relationships and sexuality, holiday traditions, nostalgic TV commercials, and even the gritty realities of public transportation—all laced with their signature irreverence.

Key Discussion Points & Memorable Segments

1. Lunar Eclipses & Blood Moons: Science Confounded

• Theme: The crew admits total ignorance about lunar eclipses and celestial phenomena.
• Holmberg openly muses:
  • “I just don’t get how a crescent moon is different than any eclipse. Maybe we need a blood moon specialist. I don’t get it.” (02:00)
• Brady proposes wild, funny theories:
  • “Maybe it’s a giant fire that has started on the tip of the Earth… that’s why we’ve had all this ice kind of melting.” (05:25)
• Conclusion: Nobody gets it, but they're having fun not knowing.

2. March Madness, Religion, and Bounce Houses

• Topic: Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and religious quirks; NCAA basketball.
• Holmberg’s classic line:
  • “You can’t be in a religion that’s opposed to bounce houses for kids. That’s the Jehovah’s Witness religion. I condemn the Jehovah’s Witnesses—no bounce house rule!” (13:45)
• Extended riff on religious party rules and contrasts, with Brady noting Michael Jackson's family parties and then veering into jokes about Christian Scientists and homeopathic remedies.
• Banter on NCAA March Madness and Notre Dame’s success, segues to jokes about Catholic drinking policies.

3. April Fools, Gullible Fans, and Absurd Pranks

• Replay of a classic on-air prank: The crew toys with "the world's most gullible man" via phone, spinning elaborate fake stories about highway tolls, slipknot bus crashes, and lightbulb taxes.
• Highlight:
  • "White people pay more on the freeway now." (21:59)
  • “Dave Draiman’s gonna sing all the Slipknot songs… Corey’s back is broken from hitting a jackalope.” (24:50)
• Memorable listener response: He falls for everything, and the crew dissolves into laughter at just how far they can take him.
  • “Now he thinks Corey Taylor's dead. Wouldn’t he?” (28:04)

4. The Unexpected Perils of Porn and Accidental Clicks

• Topic: Candid, comic exploration into modern porn sites, especially “tranny porn” surprises, and the confusing situations it creates for straight guys.
• Holmberg’s confession:
  • “I don’t molest myself to it… but one time I’ve been fooled…” (32:05–35:22)
• Debate: Does it make you gay if you finish to it? Endorses the ‘Masturbator’s Accord’—as long as you don’t search it out. (36:11)

5. Listener Trolling: Sit-down Peeing and Thin Skin

• Segment: A listener flames Holmberg for “sitting to pee,” leading to hilarious self-deprecation and a call to the texter’s mom after learning it’s a teenage boy using her phone.
• Holmberg:
  • “I have what can only be described as an oddly shaped urethra… I’d rather sit and not spray it all over.” (38:04)
• Classic radio moment: They call the mom, who’s confused and excellent sport, only for the crew to name her the "Featured Lady of the Day" on International Women’s Day. (45:14)

6. Family Thanksgiving Fights & Uninvited Visits

• Recap of epic Bogan family drama: Brady revisits the year his wife Ronnie got into a real fight with a cousin at Thanksgiving, and the question of when an invitation “expires.”
• John:
  • “Brady’s got the most hillbilly Thanksgivings of all of us.” (49:13)
• Satirical exploration of social etiquette—when can you just “pop by,” and, if your steaks get stolen by dogs, does that count as a proper excuse?

7. Public Farting, Indian Food, and Women Blowing Heat

• Brady’s PSA: After dinner at an Indian restaurant leads to witnessing “public cushion farting” in a movie theater, Brady rails against women who feel too comfortable doing it in public.
• John:
  • “If Sex and the City taught us one thing, it’s that farting never happened on that show.” (61:25)
• Theory: Societal collapse begins when women start farting publicly and giggling about it.

8. Maple Syrup and Candy Canes: The Food Report

• Brady Report segment: A serious debate over the virtues of “real” maple syrup vs. Mrs. Butterworth’s, with vintage commercial nostalgia.
• John:
  • “Maybe I prefer Mrs. Butterworth. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around… the bottle just started sliding around.” (69:00)
• Crunchy vs. curly candy cane biting is hotly contested.

9. The Realities of Riding the Bus

• Survey riff: What’s the worst behavior on the bus?
• John’s assessment:
  • “If you’re at a bus stop right now, I’m sorry, but it’s not going your way. It’s not New York City if you’re taking the bus here.”
• Bret:
  • “Light rail, Spirit Airlines—the bus of the sky.” (82:02)

10. Lawsuits, Dating Shows, and Locking People in Rooms

• Discussion of "Love Is Blind" horror stories: A cast member complains she was randomly paired with a homeless meth addict, leading the guys to mock the whole reality dating enterprise.
• John:
  • “Don’t marry someone until you live with them because you don’t know their bathroom habits… first and foremost.” (119:52)
• Side discussion: UK’s "Naked Attraction" and why dating by genitals would ruin everyone’s chances, especially men.

11. Celebrity Deaths, Jack Nicholson Impressions & Pop Culture Throwbacks

• Tributes: Cindy Morgan (“Caddyshack,” “Tron”) and David Soul (“Starsky & Hutch”).
• Jack Nicholson bit: John opens the phones for birthday wishes to Jack (in character), playing movie quote trivia and riffing on his legendary status.
• Nostalgia bit:
  • “Albums that turned 40 this year”—Van Halen, Born in the USA, Purple Rain, and more.
• Vintage commercials: The crew gets lost in 1970s/80s syrup and coffee ads, with a special focus on Maxwell House’s use of Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch) as pitch lady.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On celestial ignorance:
  "Maybe we need a blood moon specialist. I don’t get it."
  — John Holmberg, (02:00)

• On religion and bounce houses:
  "You can’t be in a religion that’s opposed to bounce houses for kids. That’s the Jehovah’s Witness religion. I condemn the Jehovah’s Witnesses—no bounce house rule!"
  — Holmberg, (13:45)

• On public farting double standard:
  “If Sex and the City taught us one thing, it’s that farting never happened on that show.”
  — Holmberg, (61:25)

• On prank gullibility:
  "Now he thinks Corey Taylor's dead. Wouldn’t he?"
  — Holmberg, (28:04)

• On bathroom etiquette:
  “I have what can only be described as an oddly shaped urethra… I’d rather sit and not spray it all over.”
  — Holmberg, (38:04)

• On bus travel:
  "If you’re at a bus stop right now, I’m sorry, but it’s not going your way."
  — Holmberg, (81:59)

• On syrup nostalgia:
  “Maybe I prefer Mrs. Butterworth. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around… the bottle just started sliding around.”
  — Holmberg, (69:00)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Lunar Eclipses, Cosmic Ignorance: 01:01 – 08:00
• Religion, March Madness, Party Rules: 10:25 – 16:50
• April Fool’s Gullible Listener Prank: 20:59 – 29:09
• Porn & Accidental Clicks, ‘Tranny Pranks’: 29:55 – 36:36
• Listener Troll / Sit Down Pee, Parent Call: 38:03 – 45:14
• Family Drama, Uninvited Thanksgiving Visits: 47:33 – 57:51
• Public Farting, Indian Food, Social Norms: 58:31 – 66:25
• Brady Report (Syrup, Candy Canes): 68:26 – 77:10
• Bus Travel, Hygiene, Inequality: 79:40 – 81:59
• ‘Love is Blind,’ Reality TV, Dating Blunders: 110:45 – 123:18
• Jack Nicholson Birthday, Quotes & Calls (Impression): 95:08 – 107:55
• Pop Culture Throwbacks, Commercials: 136:31 – 149:21

Tone & Style

Rowdy, sarcastic, off-color, friendly banter with no topic off-limits. The hosts take pride in their irreverent humor, readiness to mock themselves, and their embrace of Arizona’s everyday quirks and headlines.

Summary

This episode is a quintessential “Best Of” for HMS fans and newcomers alike, delivering laughs through relatable ignorance, social satire, and a willingness to skewer themselves, their listeners, and society at large. Whether they’re tackling the mysteries of the universe, breaking down the dangers of public transport, or memorializing 70s boobs, Holmberg and crew keep the pace brisk, the jokes flying, and the Arizona spirit alive.

For full segments and Arizona’s favorite morning radio mayhem:
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