12-23-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD - BO

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: "Best Of" Full Show – December 23, 2025

Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona) Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo Date: December 23, 2025 Episode: 12-23-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY

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Episode Overview

This ‘Best Of’ episode is a classic, unfiltered blend of banter, absurdity, and Arizona flavor from the HMS crew. John, Brady, Bret, and Toledo riff through everything from cosmic confusions about lunar eclipses and blood moons, to religion’s party policies, family Thanksgiving fights, candid thoughts on relationships and sexuality, holiday traditions, nostalgic TV commercials, and even the gritty realities of public transportation—all laced with their signature irreverence.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Segments

1. Lunar Eclipses & Blood Moons: Science Confounded

• Theme: The crew admits total ignorance about lunar eclipses and celestial phenomena.
• Holmberg openly muses:
  • “I just don’t get how a crescent moon is different than any eclipse. Maybe we need a blood moon specialist. I don’t get it.” (02:00)
• Brady proposes wild, funny theories:
  • “Maybe it’s a giant fire that has started on the tip of the Earth… that’s why we’ve had all this ice kind of melting.” (05:25)
• Conclusion: Nobody gets it, but they're having fun not knowing.

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2. March Madness, Religion, and Bounce Houses

• Topic: Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and religious quirks; NCAA basketball.
• Holmberg’s classic line:
  • “You can’t be in a religion that’s opposed to bounce houses for kids. That’s the Jehovah’s Witness religion. I condemn the Jehovah’s Witnesses—no bounce house rule!” (13:45)
• Extended riff on religious party rules and contrasts, with Brady noting Michael Jackson's family parties and then veering into jokes about Christian Scientists and homeopathic remedies.
• Banter on NCAA March Madness and Notre Dame’s success, segues to jokes about Catholic drinking policies.

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3. April Fools, Gullible Fans, and Absurd Pranks

• Replay of a classic on-air prank: The crew toys with "the world's most gullible man" via phone, spinning elaborate fake stories about highway tolls, slipknot bus crashes, and lightbulb taxes.
• Highlight:
  • "White people pay more on the freeway now." (21:59)
  • “Dave Draiman’s gonna sing all the Slipknot songs… Corey’s back is broken from hitting a jackalope.” (24:50)
• Memorable listener response: He falls for everything, and the crew dissolves into laughter at just how far they can take him.
  • “Now he thinks Corey Taylor's dead. Wouldn’t he?” (28:04)

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4. The Unexpected Perils of Porn and Accidental Clicks

• Topic: Candid, comic exploration into modern porn sites, especially “tranny porn” surprises, and the confusing situations it creates for straight guys.
• Holmberg’s confession:
  • “I don’t molest myself to it… but one time I’ve been fooled…” (32:05–35:22)
• Debate: Does it make you gay if you finish to it? Endorses the ‘Masturbator’s Accord’—as long as you don’t search it out. (36:11)

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5. Listener Trolling: Sit-down Peeing and Thin Skin

• Segment: A listener flames Holmberg for “sitting to pee,” leading to hilarious self-deprecation and a call to the texter’s mom after learning it’s a teenage boy using her phone.
• Holmberg:
  • “I have what can only be described as an oddly shaped urethra… I’d rather sit and not spray it all over.” (38:04)
• Classic radio moment: They call the mom, who’s confused and excellent sport, only for the crew to name her the "Featured Lady of the Day" on International Women’s Day. (45:14)

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6. Family Thanksgiving Fights & Uninvited Visits

• Recap of epic Bogan family drama: Brady revisits the year his wife Ronnie got into a real fight with a cousin at Thanksgiving, and the question of when an invitation “expires.”
• John:
  • “Brady’s got the most hillbilly Thanksgivings of all of us.” (49:13)
• Satirical exploration of social etiquette—when can you just “pop by,” and, if your steaks get stolen by dogs, does that count as a proper excuse?

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7. Public Farting, Indian Food, and Women Blowing Heat

• Brady’s PSA: After dinner at an Indian restaurant leads to witnessing “public cushion farting” in a movie theater, Brady rails against women who feel too comfortable doing it in public.
• John:
  • “If Sex and the City taught us one thing, it’s that farting never happened on that show.” (61:25)
• Theory: Societal collapse begins when women start farting publicly and giggling about it.

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8. Maple Syrup and Candy Canes: The Food Report

• Brady Report segment: A serious debate over the virtues of “real” maple syrup vs. Mrs. Butterworth’s, with vintage commercial nostalgia.
• John:
  • “Maybe I prefer Mrs. Butterworth. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around… the bottle just started sliding around.” (69:00)
• Crunchy vs. curly candy cane biting is hotly contested.

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9. The Realities of Riding the Bus

• Survey riff: What’s the worst behavior on the bus?
• John’s assessment:
  • “If you’re at a bus stop right now, I’m sorry, but it’s not going your way. It’s not New York City if you’re taking the bus here.”
• Bret:
  • “Light rail, Spirit Airlines—the bus of the sky.” (82:02)

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10. Lawsuits, Dating Shows, and Locking People in Rooms

• Discussion of "Love Is Blind" horror stories: A cast member complains she was randomly paired with a homeless meth addict, leading the guys to mock the whole reality dating enterprise.
• John:
  • “Don’t marry someone until you live with them because you don’t know their bathroom habits… first and foremost.” (119:52)
• Side discussion: UK’s "Naked Attraction" and why dating by genitals would ruin everyone’s chances, especially men.

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11. Celebrity Deaths, Jack Nicholson Impressions & Pop Culture Throwbacks

• Tributes: Cindy Morgan (“Caddyshack,” “Tron”) and David Soul (“Starsky & Hutch”).
• Jack Nicholson bit: John opens the phones for birthday wishes to Jack (in character), playing movie quote trivia and riffing on his legendary status.
• Nostalgia bit:
  • “Albums that turned 40 this year”—Van Halen, Born in the USA, Purple Rain, and more.
• Vintage commercials: The crew gets lost in 1970s/80s syrup and coffee ads, with a special focus on Maxwell House’s use of Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch) as pitch lady.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On celestial ignorance:
  "Maybe we need a blood moon specialist. I don’t get it."
  — John Holmberg, (02:00)

• On religion and bounce houses:
  "You can’t be in a religion that’s opposed to bounce houses for kids. That’s the Jehovah’s Witness religion. I condemn the Jehovah’s Witnesses—no bounce house rule!"
  — Holmberg, (13:45)

• On public farting double standard:
  “If Sex and the City taught us one thing, it’s that farting never happened on that show.”
  — Holmberg, (61:25)

• On prank gullibility:
  "Now he thinks Corey Taylor's dead. Wouldn’t he?"
  — Holmberg, (28:04)

• On bathroom etiquette:
  “I have what can only be described as an oddly shaped urethra… I’d rather sit and not spray it all over.”
  — Holmberg, (38:04)

• On bus travel:
  "If you’re at a bus stop right now, I’m sorry, but it’s not going your way."
  — Holmberg, (81:59)

• On syrup nostalgia:
  “Maybe I prefer Mrs. Butterworth. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around… the bottle just started sliding around.”
  — Holmberg, (69:00)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Lunar Eclipses, Cosmic Ignorance: 01:01 – 08:00
• Religion, March Madness, Party Rules: 10:25 – 16:50
• April Fool’s Gullible Listener Prank: 20:59 – 29:09
• Porn & Accidental Clicks, ‘Tranny Pranks’: 29:55 – 36:36
• Listener Troll / Sit Down Pee, Parent Call: 38:03 – 45:14
• Family Drama, Uninvited Thanksgiving Visits: 47:33 – 57:51
• Public Farting, Indian Food, Social Norms: 58:31 – 66:25
• Brady Report (Syrup, Candy Canes): 68:26 – 77:10
• Bus Travel, Hygiene, Inequality: 79:40 – 81:59
• ‘Love is Blind,’ Reality TV, Dating Blunders: 110:45 – 123:18
• Jack Nicholson Birthday, Quotes & Calls (Impression): 95:08 – 107:55
• Pop Culture Throwbacks, Commercials: 136:31 – 149:21

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Tone & Style

Rowdy, sarcastic, off-color, friendly banter with no topic off-limits. The hosts take pride in their irreverent humor, readiness to mock themselves, and their embrace of Arizona’s everyday quirks and headlines.

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Summary

This episode is a quintessential “Best Of” for HMS fans and newcomers alike, delivering laughs through relatable ignorance, social satire, and a willingness to skewer themselves, their listeners, and society at large. Whether they’re tackling the mysteries of the universe, breaking down the dangers of public transport, or memorializing 70s boobs, Holmberg and crew keep the pace brisk, the jokes flying, and the Arizona spirit alive.

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For full segments and Arizona’s favorite morning radio mayhem:
Listen on 98KUPD.com or the 98KUPD app.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Brady Bogan]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[John Holmberg]

There you have it. MMP Guns or Legal Gun the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. Hey, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to my house, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit online happy endings euthanasia.com because every pet's life should have a happy ending. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The Best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness this is the Big Red Radio Ozzy Spark of the Moon is cool, but that was last night. I still don't understand how any of that crap works. I am so naive or ignorant or just flat stupid when it comes to where the Earth and the shadows Because I'm Always the guy. And I'll know. I'll have somebody explain it to me. It happens every eclipse. I just don't understand how a partial eclipse is different from when there's a half moon. Yeah, isn't that a partial eclipse?

[Brady Bogan]

But this was being eclipsed by the.

[John Holmberg]

Earth, the shadow of the earth. Well, what is a half moon?

[Brady Bogan]

That's why.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. That's where I get confused.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Venus getting in the way.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Venus? Wouldn't we see Venus more often then?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cast such shadows. When Jupiter goes across, everything's really messed up. I don't understand where the shadows come from. I'm naive and stupid, and I've had it explained to me before. Don't waste your finger time on your keyboards. I don't get it. It's one of the. It's like algebra. It doesn't go in my ears. It doesn't register with my. My brain as a rock. Spot where that's supposed to sit, and it bounces out. I just don't get how a crescent moon is different than any eclipse. Maybe we need a blood moon specialist. Yeah, because I don't get it. I don't understand it. Get one on the line. Toledo. I watched the moon turn red in April, and then I was told, this doesn't ever happen. And now it happened again yesterday. And I'm like, well, I just saw this. And I saw it again last year, too, but I don't get it. Like a regular crescent moon, which we can plan. Let's interview whoever's up at that observatory and Flagstaff. It would literally be like, the guy goes, all right, and now I'm going to speak in a language only I understand. Oh, okay. Well, none of this makes sense, but thanks for joining us. I just don't get it. And I know you'll try to explain it to me, and I know I just opened a can of worms. Yeah, you guys all types in. You don't know. You don't know. None of us know. Oh, you could say it's a shadow of some sort, but that's exactly what an eclipse is. You learn this crap in, like, sixth grade science. We don't remember that far back. Nazi helmet. That's what I'm talking about. Brady found another Nazi helmet. That's what we're good at. Searching out Nazi memorabilia in the Papago Mountain. Nothing. I got nothing on it.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it might be space mascara on the moon.

[John Holmberg]

That's odd. All right, I don't know what that means.

[Brady Bogan]

Then you Go a little heavy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's not mascara. Mascara is an outliner. You're talking about like eyeshadow. That's eye shape. Yeah, mascara. You don't want to rub mascara all over your eyes. You look like you've been beaten to death.

[Brady Bogan]

I've seen some people have done well.

[John Holmberg]

That's because they're crying and you've made them cry and their mascara is running. You're talking about eyeshadow. So you think it's just space makeup?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know either though, do you? I mean, none of us do.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you know, it's the sun coming off the rotation of the Earth. All of a sudden the moon has to catch the sun on a different flexo. Gets sunlight.

[John Holmberg]

You're making a foolish. Yeah, you don't say all of a sudden in a space thing. And then all of a sudden. And all of a sudden, without warning.

[Brady Bogan]

Bo. Then all of a sudden on the rotation of the agon.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it. Just. Just say you don't know. Yeah, go ahead. Say what he said.

[Brady Bogan]

What I'm really trying to say, John.

[John Holmberg]

Is you don't know. I don't know. Thank you very much. I saw your little paws pumping. A couple of deep breaths in like. No, I'm not going to say that. You were. You were more correct about mascara than you were just a second ago about your moon series.

[Brady Bogan]

I have another theory.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's have at it.

[Brady Bogan]

And it might be a giant fire that has started on tip the Earth.

[John Holmberg]

At the tip of the Earth. Yeah. What is that called?

[Brady Bogan]

Antarctica.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's on fire.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The ice cap is on fire. Yes. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why we've had all this ice kind of melting.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. So nobody knows.

[Brady Bogan]

Fire kind of catches on.

[John Holmberg]

It's that crazy throughout the month. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Oh, that's what those are. Yeah. Aurora borealis. It's like the rams. A field. Yeah. Just burst into flames for no reason. Go on.

[Brady Bogan]

And so when the fire kind of burns down a little bit. Just down the glowing coals and then the.

[John Holmberg]

So there'd be glowing coals where the ice.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Then you stoke the fire and that brightens the moon.

[John Holmberg]

That happened last night.

[Brady Bogan]

The ice walkers, the ice giants.

[John Holmberg]

I like the ice giant. Again, still more accurate than you're all of a sudden.

[Brady Bogan]

These ice giants.

[John Holmberg]

But this is wildly more accurate than when you were trying a second ago. Then all of a sudden the shadows. No, it's not, puppeteer. It's fun to have a vivid imagination, but it isn't that vivid. It's actually kind of dull and scary sad.

[Brady Bogan]

You call it what you want.

[John Holmberg]

I will. I'll call that frightening that your brain didn't did that to you. Sad. People don't tune in for our science advice, certainly not knowledge. Well, they kind of do now. Do they? But when those stories come out puking.

[Brady Bogan]

On us kids all of a sudden.

[John Holmberg]

And there's a guy driving right now going, no, that's a grown up. I'm not k. That's a grown up man. Yes. He's 50. He's lived to 50 with that. He has a degree. He's the only college graduate in the room.

[Brady Bogan]

Tati, do you know any ice giants?

[John Holmberg]

Is he serious about those ice giants? No, he's a grown man, doesn't do drugs. Kid, I don't know what the hell that guy's about. All of a sudden, then there's a fire on the polar. He's scaring me. No, just listen to him. This is crazy. I wish that blood moon would have happened all of a sudden last night because it was taking forever. It did take a longer. Jesus, hurry up. 7th inning of the Cubs game. There were four pitching changes. I said, all right, well, this innings dragging ass. I'm going to go outside and watch this thing finish up staring at the moon. Nothing's different. Go back in. There's another pitching change. God damn it. All right, I'll go back while this guy's warming up, I'll go back out, see how the moon looks the same. Hurry up, come on. I can see if Arietta comes out for the eight. There's no way he comes out for the eight anyway. What are you gonna do? Jason Smith. I knew somebody would do it. Says subject the moon shadow for dummies. The shadow you normally see on the moon is just the side of the moon not currently facing the sun. How does a crescent moon work? It's not all the way over it. But then.

[Brady Bogan]

That's mascara.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like mascara.

[Brady Bogan]

All of a sudden, John, all of.

[John Holmberg]

A sudden the sun's shining on the opposite side of the moon. Why isn't it shining on us? Who cares really? I'm struggling with it. Don't try to. But then he said, also look at it. He said, pay attention to NASA today. They're revealing some huge discovery about Mars at 11:30 our time, people. Matt Damon's on it. We've got him. And that is not a movie, that is a documentary. Matt Damon is on it. I want to see that movie, but I wanted I want to. I want to have him call it something else. Where do I go for this? NASA.com I don't know. 11:30 NASA is going to make a big. I guess there's bullhorns in every sea flight. Attention Phoenix. Mars announcement is in two minutes. I didn't even know we had this sound system. Akjin should look into this. It's really clear. Mars is closer than we thought. In fact Chicago is farther from you right now. It's really close. It's about a two hour flight. That Neil Degrasse Tyson guy gets on there.

[Brady Bogan]

They'll be the new spokesman for NASA. Jan Brewer. No.

[John Holmberg]

Not doing that. Mars is red. That is all Mars be red. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. She said it in too good of English. I haven't done her for a while. I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

What.

[John Holmberg]

What could they have discovered on Mars that would be a big announcement. Unless people. Unless there's little under. You know like the subterranean folks are real.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe under the crust is a nougat filling.

[John Holmberg]

Go on. I want you to be my science.

[Brady Bogan]

Where the moon is cheese.

[John Holmberg]

Every day at 2 o' clock I'm gonna just come to your house and sit in a room with a book and a notepad and you will teach me for an hour the science that only you know.

[Brady Bogan]

See the rings.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll just open with a question.

[Brady Bogan]

Are space onion rings?

[John Holmberg]

Brady, what's the planet closest to the sun and how come it's not on fire? And go.

[Brady Bogan]

Well the main reason is it has unbelievable SPF protection.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

The natural.

[John Holmberg]

That's where we. We mine for SPF from that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of people don't know that there's a tube running from there into the Hawaiian Tropic factory. That's not. Keep going. That's an awesome hail. Pretty awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

If you ever get there for a weekend man.

[John Holmberg]

Stay on the far side. Far side. Don't get to that other side. It's a little warm. Holmberg's morning sickness. Somebody told me that yesterday. I got an email today. The guy Brady played the game with yesterday. Jesus who just mopped through because he had that list of teams and he was winning and he won and he won the prizes. Just hands down just know and. And the guy just sent me things that this is my new bumper sticker. Jesus cheats. And I'm like, you know what? That's an awesome one right there. I would. That is true. That is true. He cheated. Jesus cheated. It's pretty good anyway. Well maybe it is eastern time. But I was very excited about it still. Try 98kupd.com get it on the Twin Peaks March mania and you can get on that thing and then go down and see Toledo tomorrow, get some drinks and maybe win a tickets to Slip Knot. You got those out there too. So easy enough. March Madness is upon us and Notre Dame's doing what they do. They are crushing the infidels and the non believers. A 20 point route is on for the Lord Almighty Christ. There's going to be some serious dry humping and soaking tonight in South Bend.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of beer too.

[John Holmberg]

They drink a lot of beer. You're allowed to do that. That's one good thing about the Catholic religion. They encourage tons of beer and wine. Tons and tons of drinking. That's why. That's why I don't understand the Jason Worlds thing over there with the Pittsburgh Steelers. 26 years old, $13 million deal sitting on the table, probably between 9 and 13, and he decides to say, you know what? I'm leaving the Steelers and the NFL for a higher calling. And I'm like, oh, he found God. No, it's Jehovah's Witnesses. Doesn't make any sense. That one doesn't. They don't even let you have birthdays. They just tell you how miserable everything is all day long and how you can't celebrate yourself or enjoy yourself or have any fun. Just make sure it's all about the Jehovah. And then you can't even have fun. Like at least go to a religion that allows you to guzzle alcohol.

[Brady Bogan]

They've done pretty. I think they have a pretty good network. There used to be a nice little chunk in Hollywood that were Jehovah.

[John Holmberg]

It's borderline Scientology. That one. That one's a little bit off to quit $13 million for that. Is that really what Jesus wants me to do? Because if it is, we're on different pages. Yeah, you never even see them at parties. Mormons will tell they don't go to parties. Yeah, Mormons go to parties and Mormons don't. Do they just stand at parties, make everybody uncomfortable? Well, I don't drink. Oh, no, I don't drink. I'm sorry, I don't drink. Great. Why don't you drink? Well, I never really got a liking for him. Oh, no, you're gonna stare at him.

[Brady Bogan]

But I can break dance.

[John Holmberg]

But I tell you what I will do is tell jokes. Oh, good. What do you call. Oh, no, no, no. We're not talking, you and me. I came over to be nice. Because the girl you're standing next to is hot. Now, I know that's either your wife or one of your 11 daughters. I'm walking away.

[Brady Bogan]

It's on a turtle's back.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that escargot. Anyway, I'm full of those gags. Yeah. No, at least. At least they show up to parties or have a bounce house. They're not opposed. You can't be in a religion that's opposed to bounce house for kids. And that's the Jehovah's Witness religion. I would like to. To announce that I. What do they do when there's a big attack and the. All the presidents of every country come out and they condemn it? They condemn it. I condemn that action. I condemn the Jehovah's Witnesses because of. No bounce houses for kids rule.

[Brady Bogan]

No birthdays.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of religion as a. No bounce house for kids. No petting zoos. I mean, what kind of people are you? I mean, come on, you gotta. Gotta rethink that at least. Even the Mormons said, well, all right, caffeine, go ahead. Do they get TVs?

[Brady Bogan]

You can.

[John Holmberg]

You can watch television. You just can't. You know, if somebody says happy birthday to you, you gotta lash yourself for 45 minutes and go live in the garage with a car running. I don't know. No, I think that's it. Can they watch?

[Brady Bogan]

Not the car running?

[John Holmberg]

Pretty sure that's correct. Brady window crack. You just sit in the backseat for an hour until you get dizzy, and then that's Jesus saying, all right, shape up. Can they watch kids bounce and bounce houses? You can't go to the parties. You can't participate in that. They can watch from a distance and shame themselves and then lashes car. I mean, on the tv. Like. Oh, I don't know. That's a good question. Like if there's a big live. Anybody's having fun. What channel is that?

[Brady Bogan]

Channel?

[John Holmberg]

That's the Catholics. That's a Catholic channel, is a kid's bounce house channel. The real, you know, that's for the priests. You get the kids bounce house channel for Father Dave and Dale. And then the Jehovah's Witnesses can watch that through a window. They can't hear it. You can stumble across it, but otherwise it's into the garage again to get you drink gasoline and weed. Eat your ankles.

[Brady Bogan]

This week on Father Bop.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's Father Bob's bout's house. Isn't it great to be Catholic? Oh, such delicious. I mean, wonderful children. Anyway, no to the Jehovah's Witnesses. I say no. And if one comes to your door, and occasionally they still do and you haven't done like I've done and disconnect your doorbell. That was a great moment.

[Brady Bogan]

But there's got to be, you know, nobody's like you're talking about, you know, every religion says, well, are you, you know, like it's orthodox or what have you. There's got to be probably something, you know.

[John Holmberg]

You mean convenient religious people. Yeah, but Jason world gave up $13 million. He's not going. He's not going to break the bounce house rule for the Jehovah's Witnesses. $13 million is too. You know he can't do that. Are you kidding me? The bounce house rule will be easier to say, well, we'll never do that. I'll be a Jehovah's Witness. But Daddy's still got to go play $13 million worth of football every year. I know that the religion frowns on that, but come on now, turn the bounce house over. That's fine. I get rid of that before I get rid of the job.

[Brady Bogan]

I could have sworn that there was like some Michael Jackson birthday parties. Wasn't he Jehovah? Or maybe the family grew up Jehovah.

[John Holmberg]

Look.

[Brady Bogan]

And he broke off from Papa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Anything he's done into some sort of a nice neat box. Hey, he was crazy. Called himself something, but he wasn't. And I know I'll get calls from Jehovah's Witness. We have parties with it. He don't. I'm in a neighborhood Jehovah's Witness who got yelled at at my house for coming to my birthday party.

[Brady Bogan]

The real faith testers, the Christian Scientist. I mean, that would be so hard to say. You know, it's a faith that you're. Your kid's sick and it's like, oh, no medication. I think it's Christian Science. No, it's Christian Scientists.

[John Holmberg]

They don't believe in, like, yeah, Scientology. We had a lady we worked with that did that, and her kids are fine.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Never gave him medicine. They got sick. It's God's plan. If he crops, he croes. That's the deal. And the kid would have, like a flu for like six months. Yeah. He's dying. God wanted this. It's like, how are you staying?

[Brady Bogan]

Never had the flu for six months.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it came in all the time. He's missing school again. What's Jack doing here? He's missing school.

[Brady Bogan]

He's 27. He's in fourth grade.

[John Holmberg]

The kid is. I ran into them At a target. And there he is, strapping young lad. And I'm like, there's something to letting your kid die every once in a while and not caring. This kid's in great shape. He made it through the trials. Yeah, he'd have to be in great shape because if he wasn't, his immune system would shut down. He'd live in a bubble and he'd die. He wouldn't even ever live in a bubble. Just let him go.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

I used to have. But then you get a lot of dead kids. She was fascinated. It was a fascinating thing. But you know what? And you infect a lot of other kids. Sure. Well. And that's the thing. I was like, how do you do this? How do you live? Like, she goes, it's tough sometimes. Like, his fever get like 102 and just have to sit back and go, all right, hope this works. Yeah, homeopathic and aspirin and stuff like that. They do that, but they did it themselves.

[Brady Bogan]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Because it's natural, all that stuff, I guess. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

They made aspirin what God made.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if they had, like, natural aspirin or something. I don't know. They just rub roots on the kid. Just like the Catholic Church rubbing their roots on kids. Very similar. Very, very similar.

[Brady Bogan]

Different route.

[John Holmberg]

Always a root, though. Always down to the bas face of the route. And the kid was somehow better and quieter afterwards.

[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here, shilling away for new acunit.com Use my name, Holmberg in the promo code and get a thousand dollars off the already amazing price you were going to get. Promo code Holmberg. What a great start to replacing an AC unit that's on its last legs. And man, did new acunit.com make this process simple. If you've got an AC unit that's 10 years old or older and you want to replace it before it becomes a Nightmare, go to newacunit.com get thousand dollars off, use Homeberg as the promo code and check it out. You're already going to save money. Now you'll save more. Save thousands, save time. Buy online new ac unit.com there's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98kupd Evidently, certain people believe pretty much everything radio guys say, as evidenced by this man. We're about to talk to the world's most gullible man now again, being anti April Fool's Day. Outside of when it' purely organic, I don't like the planned April Fool. I know, Chuck. Remember in our meeting. Oh, what are we doing? What are we doing for April Foolio? Isn't that what the bitches call it now? April Foolio. You think all the homies in the house say what? Anywho, so he asked us yesterday and we all just kind of sat there like pedestrian traffic signs in the halls. No. So nothing.

[Brady Bogan]

I put Solofane over Chuck's toilet.

[John Holmberg]

Grady, please. So in order to appease the bosses, because this is like a radio tradition, this is what makes me hate other radio people, is the April fool stuff. But evidently you can toy with people. They're pretty gullible. And this, this day proves it. As does this man right here, ladies and gentlemen. I don't kid when I say this is without question probably our most gullible listener ever. And what's great is he hung up the phone thinking I was dumb. That's the best part of this call, ladies and gentlemen, the most gullible man of all time calling to ask us a question this morning. And we just decided to toy with him. And it really snowballed. It's happy April Fool's Day to all of you. At least we got one person out there. Hey, I heard something about this toll on the 101 on the 202. Yeah, they're gonna start. They have little trolls that are gonna be on the on ramps now, collecting money as people try to get on the freeway. Are you serious? No, sh. Dude, how about that? What, you people already have to pay a bum load in gas. Now they got favor this crap, too?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what's even worse about it is that if you. If you're, like, you know, not accept, if you're white, like, you pay more. What? Yeah, white people will actually pay more than you want to bet. Yeah, white people pay $2. Mexicans and blacks pay 1. And how can they do something like that? Dude, they passed it yesterday. I don't know. Yeah, we're out of money. We're completely out of money. Do you have any piercings? Yeah, they're gonna start taxing piercings. Are you serious? Yep. On the toll road. On the toll roads, as you're pulling up, they scan. It's gonna add like an hour to everybody's drive. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yep. Is this like, right when you get on. Yeah, they're gonna start it now. They're gonna put it up. Put it up on the. On the on ramps, and then eventually they're all going to be electronic. Oh, my God. Yeah. How about that? What kind of car do you drive? Cadillac. You have a Cadillac. An American car. That's an extra 50 cents. Oh, my God. I heard the 101 and the 202 are gonna be different prices, too. Yeah. Buck 01 for the 101. Just general fee. 202 is $2 and 2 cents. And then you add on the other ones, and then. Then if you're white and piercing, that's the least of our concerns. Did you hear about the global warming light bulb thing? What? You got to switch out all your light bulbs by midnight Friday or there's a $20 fee. They can now detect whether or not you've got the. What are those, fluorescent bulbs? Those new green incandescent lights. Yeah. So now SRP and APS and all those guys can tell whose house is burning too heavy. Why don't they send a letter out to everybody? They're doing it through the media. No, but, you know, what about it? Do you want tickets to the submarine races? At least we've got that. Oh, sh. Yeah. This is bull, dude. You're telling us like we don't know. Oh, my God. Yeah, but they've got. We got the submarine tickets. If you want to watch the submarine races in Tempe. The submarine races, dude, they're awesome. Have you never been? No. Glass bottom boats. Look over the submarine races. We're at the Tempe. Tempe Town Lake. Oh, yeah. Freaking cool. That's crazy. Want a freebie, sir? All right, well, you know what? You can come pick them up. We're not. What is it? 181160 West. 1160 West. Javelina at 98. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I know where you guys are at. Yeah, but don't come to our thing because the tickets aren't here. They're our sister station. Oh, really? Yeah, they're 1160 West Havilini. Javelina. Hey, is there any way I could ask you two more questions? Sure. When are they gonna sell the tickets for the Slipknot concert? Slipknot? Yeah. Slipknot's bus crashed last night. Are you freaking kidding me? Yeah, they canceled the whole show.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we get. Well, we'll try to figure out more, but evidently a couple of the guys were banged up pretty bad and Corey's back broke and. Oh, I know it. So what's up with their new album? The album's done, so it's still gonna go, but it might get delayed a little bit because, you know, all the. When we're supposed to come out by. Summer. Yes, early summer. But it looks like now just. It depends on the injuries and stuff, you know, the bus swerved, evidently to miss a jackalope. And you know what else in the concert? Disturbed because Corey's back is broken. Dave Draiman is gonna sing all the songs. So even if it does come to concert here, Draiman's the singer of Slipknot. A jackalope. There's no such thing as a jackalope. What are those things called? Maybe I'm not saying it right. You mean a jackrabbit? Yeah. Oh. I was gonna say, what the hell? Isn't a jackalope just a rabbit with the horns? Yeah, but that's not real. They're not? Oh, no. I'm an idiot. Look at me. I fell for it. What a pinhead. I do know that the bus crashed, but somebody said I am gullible, though. I'm sorry. I'll fall for anything. That sucks bad. Yeah, certainly does. Oh, sorry about. You said you had a couple questions. What was the other one? No, that was just it. I was just curious about that. Is the lead singer for Five Finger Death Punch. Better now? Dude, you're hitting every button. That dude actually got arrested two nights ago. He had a ton of coke in the back of his truck. Did you know Five Finger Death Punch songs are written by Gloria Estefan. Like, three of them. No. Yeah. I thought they were all by them because they're all in the mixed martial arts, and it's all about fighting. Nope, nope. It's Gloria Estefan. It's about fisting. It's about fisting stuff. Gloria Estefan's, like, a freak. No. Yeah. What? I know. It's crazy, isn't it? I can't believe I fell for that Jackalope thing. I feel like an idiot. I hope I didn't fall for abuse. Like, told me any jokes, and I'm gonna tell people. No, no, dude. Everything's legit.

[Brady Bogan]

Holy.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Do conga. You know, in the Miami Sound Machine to do the conga. The what? Remember the Miami Sound Machine? Gloria Estefan. Yeah, she did do the conga. Everybody thought that was, like, a fun salsa song, a dance. It's all about her and her husband just going ape in the ass. Listen to the words again, not kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

So we'll let you know when Slipknot. Whatever happens with him. But hopefully Cory's cool, and then. Yeah, it's been a weird, you know, whatever. Jesus. I know everything. I know. And you knocked them all out. Like, every question you had was, like, doomed. Yeah, I've been trying to call about the Slipknot thing, and I haven't been able to get through. Oh, dude, I just got a letter from Toledo. Corey Taylor died. No, he didn't. Holy sh. No, he didn't. He did. Well, that's what this says. No, he may have died in the accident. Preliminary reports say he may be gone. That's not cool. Now we've got. Dude, I gotta run. I gotta check this out. Oh, all right. All right. See you, buddy. Later on. Wow. The man believes everything you fell for.

[Brady Bogan]

Jackalope.

[John Holmberg]

I can't believe I mentioned the jackalope. What a pinhead I am. Jackalopes aren't real. I like that guy. I know. I want. I want him to be my best friend. Yeah. Dude, we're in Tempe. You have to pay all the bills. What? Wait a minute. Yeah. No, I get to have sex with your wife because we've been friends for more than 20 minutes. What? You could talk him to, like, picking up tabs at bars and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet you his nickname is Cruiser. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Groover. Yep. Now we're in Germany. I'd have to make your bunk, but we're in Italy, so you got to make my bunk. What? I want a friend who does that all the time. Oh, yeah. You didn't know? Green lights are now stop and red lights are go. What? Yeah, they just changed it, like, two days ago. No kidding. Well, now he thinks Corey Taylor's dead. Wouldn't he? Yeah. He's gonna tell all his friends. Do you hear about Slipknot? Dude thought I running into a jackalope, but I straightened him out on him.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you sure about this? Because I don't want to tell all this stuff to friends.

[John Holmberg]

All my buddies. See, those are the fun ones. That's when April Fool's Day's fun. When gullibles call. But it is true, white people do get charged more on the freeway.

[Brady Bogan]

But then he can always have his fallback. At least I didn't believe in jackalopes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, this idiot who believes in jackalopes was telling me all this crazy news. Now that was fun. Organic April Fool's Day. You don't have to plan it. Dumb people will find you. Dumb people just find me. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. Bad porno. It's like a really quick bad porno. And then everybody else just kind of like congregates in that area. That's all it is. It's like when you stumble across tranny porn. Yeah. Don't you hate that? When you're doing your. Clicking on those. On the big board of porn, whatever site you've chosen, Maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe they ought to square off. Like if a fight happens, then they break them up and they square off and have a free throw shooting contest.

[John Holmberg]

See him deflect? He deflected. Because they always have her sitting, like, waist up in the little square. She's hot. She looks like she could be riding something. You're like, yes, yes, and click, click, yes. Is Bunny here? And then no, she must be here or something going on. There's cranking. Or you're just scrolling down on a good site and there's. Wow. Come on. All right, I don't want to hear it now. Yeah, the tranny thing. Fleck Brady, you can't deflect.

[Brady Bogan]

It's out there.

[John Holmberg]

It's real. Beware of it. Beware of the hot tranny porn. It's everywhere. Hot training. They're always like. They don't act like you had. No, you can't help it. You'll be on your porn site and then all of a sudden there's like some piece ass sitting there in a bathtub. And the next clip is that piece ass getting out with a crank. Some of those Brazilians, man. Yeah. You can't tell it on, like, damn it. You've got great fake boobs, too. I should probably look away.

[Brady Bogan]

What site does that? I mean, you're not staying in the site.

[John Holmberg]

Regular site.

[Brady Bogan]

It eventually runs into a tranny.

[John Holmberg]

Not eventually, but they're on there, like.

[Brady Bogan]

Because they just host the video.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, videos. There's like, a hundred thousand videos on this thing. So you're searching for your favorite clip to bang yourself to, and, you know, like. Yeah, there's a hot. And you click on the picture of, like, you know, like, a person. It usually says hot girl on girl action. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then. Yeah, wait a minute.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like a porn prank.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if they're pranking me or there's people obviously interested in. It could be porn punked. But it's the Chicks with wiener site that, you know. I mean, you don't go to them on purpose. They're just part of it. It's like the first time you get to one of those sprayer sites that always takes you by surprise. Yeah. Because some guys dig that, and some guys are like, oh, geez. But it's just kind of. Yeah, you get porn, but I don't think it's a trick.

[Brady Bogan]

Gonna be a dude in a minute.

[John Holmberg]

No, but. No, I don't molest myself to it. I watch. I don't. I don't go in blind. Like, oh, I'm just gonna start tugging away.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't help it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what's gonna happen. No, t. No. When I know what's going on. See, you can.

[Brady Bogan]

What accidents have you come a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. Brady showed up in one of them. But, yeah, the.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I always take a look at it. I'm risky. Yeah. But you get a. You get a good idea, you know, right off the bat. It's the ones where you like to.

[Brady Bogan]

Romance it a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not romancing. I just, like. I'm looking at it. I'm like, all right, this is safe. That's smart to preview. Yeah. There's no danger in this. I don't know why. I don't really. But if it's some. You know. But then again, if it's some broad getting. You know. And that's one time I've been fooled. Was. She was riding the guy on a chair, and it looked good. From behind and riding away. She had both. I think she's going to town. And I'm like, this is all right. This is good. From behind. I think this is Solid. And then she turned around. She stood up and turned around. It's like there was. There was a double swords. You're kind of like a masturbating stuntman when you. Yeah. Go in there without preview. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're going in free. It's almost like not wearing a con them these days. Something horrible can happen to you. So, yeah, you got to watch that stuff. That and the wnba. The two most horrifying things to see on your screen. Beware, Beware. You could be flip. It's the same thing to be flipping through your channels and all of a sudden your WNBA game is on. Like, oh, this is a sports station. I shouldn't be seeing this. The same as tranny porn. You never know. And there's those jackasses that send you those emails of like 10 hot chicks in a row, like, all right, boobs. But you're not even thinking sex. You're like, oh, she's got nice boobs. That one looks a little weird. And you can kind of tell some of them that sometimes those Brazilian ones, like you said, because you're not looking at their face, you're not taking them apart. And then after further inspection, I think they get their Adam's apples removed or something. I don't know. It's not. It's not fair. For your average jerker. It really is. Your average jerker goes in there just wanting to party for a few minutes and get out of there. It's not fair. They need to put like a little pink ribbon across the top of those sites just to let you know, all right, you may or may not be interested to the people who are in it, you know what, whatever. Get you moving. But you're gay, obviously. If you can watch it, a dude take it and he's got a great set of jugs. You're gay. That's okay. Enjoy yourself. Now you got me thinking about it. All the times that I've had those. I don't even like looking at, like, clicking and seeing. It's like, ah, I'm ruined. I'm ruined for. I gotta take a walk around the house for a second. Sometimes they're with girls. The train I've never seen. I've never gotten to the point where I actually get to the video. Most of the time that's when you get really confused because you're like, wait a minute. It's a guy and a girl, and it's a guy with great jugs.

[Brady Bogan]

A Champlain.

[John Holmberg]

What do I do? What? I mean, I don't. He's boning her. That's better than watching a hairy, sweaty guy. I guess. I don't know. Heterosexual sex with two sets of boobs and you just don't know where to go there. Does that make me gay? Does it make you gay if you lose it to the guy's boobs.

[Brady Bogan]

If.

[John Holmberg]

He'S boning a girl? This is a great question, Eric. Does that make you a little bit off?

[Brady Bogan]

No, it just makes you Greek.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Does it? It's not a fat guy. It's not his fat man boobs. It's not moobs.

[Brady Bogan]

They're surgically.

[John Holmberg]

They're surgically enhanced to look like great boobs. And a lot of the times they do. Plus there's still a chick there. And he's bony. A chick? Yeah. I don't know. I've never been to that part, but. Yeah, but there's boobs everywhere. It's your. As a man, it's tough to. You know. Doesn't it make you less gay? Because there's not a hairy dude.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the porn labyrinth.

[John Holmberg]

You've entered the porn prison. You go in one color, you come out of rainbow.

[Brady Bogan]

It's video finger cuffs.

[John Holmberg]

It is video finger cuffs. I really don't know what to say to that. Cause really, technically, that's like the ultimate deal. Because it looks like two chicks going at it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But one of them's getting railed.

[Brady Bogan]

This is.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I finished to it. Okay, so then. I'm not gonna lie to you. So then it's all right. Good for you, Eric. You know what? That's a big step in your dress. That's one small step for transsexuals. One giant for Eric in a dress. So I have never been down that road. But does that make you. Is it gay then to watch two girls do it with a tool? You know, when they tie something that's awesome? What's the difference? What's the damn difference?

[Brady Bogan]

You think about putting a rack on yourself or anything?

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely not.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady had that offer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we tried to get done that. His dad talked him out of it. He was gonna stop living in the past. That 100,000 bucks in his hand. 601 in the morning sickness. Boy, you value we've. What a question. I'm gonna go ahead and say seeking it out makes you a little bit off. Accidentally stumbling across it and experimenting. Kind of like banging a fat chick. You may not go back and do it again, but everybody's got it in their history. We have an accord. All right. I have a Masturbator's accord. The Masturbator's code, just don't search it out. Has a new amendment. The whacking Bill of rights has added its 11th amendment. You're about to go. Just go ahead. As long as there's a. I really have to see the video to be. I don't think I could. I don't think I could close the door on that. I can find you somewhere. I'll show you what I ran into. All right, get on that. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I got a text from this guy here who's mad at me for talking about roles in society. John sits to pee like a little thin skinned, lily livered chicken hearted girl. True. I do. I do sit to pee. That is actually very true. I have a large urethra. Not every time. No, a lot of the times at home I do. Almost every time.

[Brady Bogan]

Late night probably.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, late night for sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Because of the spray fat. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I have a. I have what carved out an odds shaped urethra that causes a spray. Like putting a thumb over a hose. And for courtesy for other visitors and guests, I would rather. And for myself, really, I would rather just sit to pee and not spray it all over the place. You know, hitting. I've done it where I've actually hit the toilet and the wall at the same time. It's. There's nothing good about that. So sitting to pee is a sanitary thing. It has nothing to do with me doing that. But that's fine. I'll come to your house, I'll stand to pee like a man. Then you clean that up like a man.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah, usually, I mean, if I. I'm standing and I spray or I miss.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I clean it up. Right. We're talking about puddles, not. We're not talking about your average spray. Something's not right with the end of my urethra. Not saying it's big or anything. I'm not bragging about it. It's weird. Something's not right with it. The doctor noticed it one time a long time ago. Give it an oddly shaped large urethra again. Is that why it goes all over the place? Yeah, it would cause that.

[Brady Bogan]

Gotta hook up a little funnel.

[John Holmberg]

That's actually not a bad idea. I'm hanging out in my back pocket like an afro pick. You don't have any hair. What is that, an afro pick? No, no. I funnel my urethra down because otherwise it's a disaster. Then the guy texts Back again, he says, oh, what's that yellow streak I see over yonder? Oh, no, it's little Johnny who fell off his bike and crapped himself pussy. That is true. I did fall off my bicycle and crap myself. I thought I'd share that humorous story of my weakness to you guys, not as a. Some type of story of bravado. What a story. And thanks for listening for so long, guy who hates me. Yeah, I fell off my bicycle and reached back, thought it was blood. And I had pooped myself, which I.

[Brady Bogan]

Thought broke two ribs to tell that.

[John Holmberg]

I would say that. All right, good, you're with me on that one, Brady. A lot of guys probably wouldn't have said that pooping part. Right. They're probably gonna. Yeah, I broke my ribs, got right back on the road home. Nope, I broke my ribs, got right back on and sat in a puddle of filth for about three miles. Crap myself. Landed too hard. Then he says, facebook text muscles. Phone muscles. They're easy. It's easy to make fun of others, John, you know you have radio muscles. You're no different. P word. Faggo. Worm. Worm.

[Brady Bogan]

Worm. Worm.

[John Holmberg]

Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. Worm. P word faggo worm. I actually like this guy. How's he call me? Thin skinned. Thin skinned. I'm the guy who crapped his pants. If anything that upset me.

[Brady Bogan]

Everyone can have thin skin every once in a while. Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody gets a little thin skin. I don't really think myself is too thin skinned. I'm not too upset. You can upset me.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know, worm.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like when you do that. Like that hurts. No, I just don't. I don't know why I made that guy so mad. What was he wearing makeup and pantyhose or something? Right now, out of nowhere, he might.

[Brady Bogan]

Be in some man.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he's in some Manny. Hose us. His phone number's on there. We should call him. Okay. Hey, that's what happens when you text in your phone number comes through. You're.

[Brady Bogan]

You're kind of part of the agreement. It could be having a bad day. Yeah, it could be having a bad day.

[John Holmberg]

Just give him a call.

[Brady Bogan]

Or her. Maybe it's a herb.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that could be. She's foul mouth for International Women's Day. She's not being a very good example. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

She didn't. And go look at any art today.

[John Holmberg]

Hope he doesn't start swearing right off the bat.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, We need some calling.

[John Holmberg]

There we go, huh? I just want to prove I don't have. Have It's a woman. Hi, my name's John Holmberg and you're on live on the radio, is that okay? No. Why? Because you were flaming me on the text really hard and so I just wanted to talk. That wasn't me. Who was it? My son. Can I. Can. Can I talk to the little raps? This is.

[Brady Bogan]

Life's too short.

[John Holmberg]

He's not in a wheelchair, is he? No. Are you okay that you're on the radio right now? No. All right, so we have to hang up on you. Can I talk to your son? Oh, he's not here. I'm sorry. Is he at school or something? No, he's just down. Okay. Is he old enough to talk the way he's talked to me? Well, yes, he would be old enough to talk to you. How old is he? Too old. Young. What is he. What are we looking at? I don't know where. I don't know who you are. Yeah, I work at a radio station and your son has text me horrible little things that say John sits down to piss like a little thin skinned, lily livered chicken hearted girl. Then he called me the P word and then the F word pertaining to homosexuals and all sorts of things. I haven't any idea. He uses my phone in the morning sometimes, but. So you should spank this little guy. This is exactly like life is short.

[Brady Bogan]

This is a grounding.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, you should ground him. Can I. What is your name? Mom? I'm Debbie. Okay, Debbie. I don't want to cause trouble in the family. I just want to know why he was so angry at me. Oh, is he an angry boy? Is his father around? Yes. Yeah. His dad's in the picture, right? Yes. Can I talk to his dad? Well, he's at work. Oh, okay. All right, Just checking. Why aren't you at work? Because I know him. Oh, you're homemaker. Well, happy International Woman's Day.

[Brady Bogan]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Congratulations. It's Women's Day? Well, I didn't want to bother you. You're evidently not the one I have the beef with. No, but there's. How old is your son again? Well, I don't know who you know. I'm sorry. My husband has taught me not to give out information.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's good advice. Excellent. Listening to him is the smartest thing ever. All right, well, we'll let you go and thank you for your time. Thank you. All right. Bye. Bye. Some teenage rat.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what? It's about time we started calling some people out.

[John Holmberg]

The first time we ever try that it's a kid. Kick that kid.

[Brady Bogan]

If you go hbo. Get that hbo.

[John Holmberg]

That is awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

And last week's episode, it's the same.

[John Holmberg]

Thing as the Warwick Davis show. Life's too short. He started to get dirty emails and mean emails from somebody and he went and found him, found out he's a 17 year old kid. Not only that, the kid's in a wheelchair and he says, I'm gonna go destroy his life. Yeah, I'm gonna destroy his life. And he does. Come on. Really? Just. He's using his mom's phone too. This is horrifying.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, mom, give me your phone.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Your phone real quick, you lily livered.

[Brady Bogan]

She's got those texts on there.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brady Bogan]

Check it out.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it's her and she's just cowardly.

[Brady Bogan]

They could delete them, right?

[John Holmberg]

He might be firing off a delete real quick. Quick.

[Brady Bogan]

I would.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's hilarious. Anyway, happy International Women's Day to that lady and her son.

[Brady Bogan]

She sounded like a very lovely homemaker.

[John Holmberg]

She did. And my. Her husband told her what not to do and she listened to him. What a wonderful woman she is. I'm surprised, being such a horrible kid.

[Brady Bogan]

That is our featured lady of the day.

[John Holmberg]

She's. Yeah, screw that porn star. That kept woman there as the featured lady of the day for International Women's Day. All right. That was unexpectedly awesome. Awesome. It's 98 upd. Sorry, kid, It's out of control now.

[Brady Bogan]

If you love the NFL, have I got an app for you. It's Dick Toledo from the morning sickness for underdog. And playing on underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. Get the app and you'll see why. I love going higher on my Seahawks defensive pick picks. And with Underdog unwrapped, you'll unwrap tons of promos all throughout the holidays. They've got boosts, gimme pics, deal reveals and even some surprises sprinkled in. Pick along with me and download the app today and use the promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries. When you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playandgetterms dfs HTML for offer. Not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY to 467-369.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Homer here, chilling away from new acunit.com holiday money is on everybody's mind. Purchases need to be good deals right now as you navigate the inevitable spending this time of year. But looming over so many of you is the eventual need to replace your AC unit unit. Three easy steps online and you're getting a present that's going to last for years. It'll make your house Christmas cool all year long. Let's add a fourth step, shall we? And don't worry, it's easy when you're checking [e-mail] use the promo code Holmberg and you're gonna knock off another thousand bucks right away. Save thousands, Save time. Buy online new ac unit.com here's another stocking stuffer from the Best of Homburg's Morning sickness football weekend, Thanksgiving. All good. On Thanksgiving. Teppanyaki went well. Yeah. Yeah. Pounds. It just won. Did you visit anybody's home and start to.

[Brady Bogan]

Did not.

[John Holmberg]

You just stayed right there at the.

[Brady Bogan]

Tabanyaki, popping by somewhere to say hi to some of Ronnie's relatives.

[John Holmberg]

But didn't. Didn't screw them.

[Brady Bogan]

Never heard from him.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Before or after?

[Brady Bogan]

They weren't sure. Ronnie wasn't sure if they were going to be at one house and we weren't going to go searching.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. If they never called or talked to you, why are you even consider going over there?

[Brady Bogan]

Because, you know, at one time as we're going over to our place, she says, well, we're down near to. You know her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you weren't invited.

[Brady Bogan]

No difference does that make in the past.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point. That's a good point.

[Brady Bogan]

In the past we have said hi. They said stop over.

[John Holmberg]

But now you're doing so you would agree, so what?

[Brady Bogan]

So that's why I think she you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, you weren't invited here from you shouldn't even consider it. You realize that you were invited maybe four years ago. That doesn't extend to every Thanksgiving.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, I go with the flow.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. You go where the food is. He's that floating dog towards the pie. She was willing to do that. That could be potentially. No.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why she didn't.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but even talking about like that's most women would be like, I Can't believe it. They didn't even call or ask us. Screw them. She's like, let's go. Maybe we should drive over there and see what they're up to.

[Brady Bogan]

I think she was calling to say hi, basically. Happy Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

She called them.

[Brady Bogan]

I think she texts her.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know much of anything. And I think maybe she talked to him, maybe she didn't. We didn't go. We were gonna. Man, you don't invite me over and it's radio silence. I'm not reaching out to see if I can come over. Yeah, that's Ohio State. Michigan right there. You good? Do they not like each other? Is there a little tension?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I think they do, but they've. They're. They've just been.

[John Holmberg]

Is that the fifth couple of years? No, no, that's a different one.

[Brady Bogan]

The other. The other side of the twins.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was. It was the one twins. So the fist fight was with one of the two a few years ago. This is the other twin?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one did not fight Ronnie at Thanksgiving. No. Brady's got the most hillbilly Thanksgivings of all of us.

[Brady Bogan]

Who got.

[John Holmberg]

Who was in? Ronnie and her cousin got. Wait, second a. Yeah, they had a fight on Thanksgiving. Everybody. Everybody had a clear house. It's my favorite Thanksgiving story of all of them. Ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Hear the sliding door in the backyard? You might want to grab Kirby and. And leave now.

[John Holmberg]

You got out at Thanksgiving.

[Brady Bogan]

Why would I do that?

[John Holmberg]

Well, your wife's bleeding, and she. She. She kind of mucked up her cousin pretty good here in the. Who won? Yeah. Was there a winner? I never asked you that. I was just excited it happened there. That.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Ronnie would have demolished him.

[John Holmberg]

Really? You think? So was that just heart talking, or do you think the other girl had some.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it was like the Buster Douglas Tyson fight back. And one was doped up really bad.

[John Holmberg]

And I can guess through your passive aggression wasn't Ronnie. So that's. Yeah, that was very subtle, Brady. Yeah, one of the two fighters was on drugs. Now, Ronnie tests clean. I'll tell you that. Do you do the math? Oh, so one was heavy, one was doped up that night, or just generally in life. Oh, okay. Oh, boy. That part escapes me.

[Brady Bogan]

So the other one was going to come out of the mouth, so that.

[John Holmberg]

So the doped up one might have been at the house that you guys were going to crash uninvited. No, she's not. Yeah, she's not available. Kicked out of the family. So she's gone and the other twin is like, but still doesn't make the call to invite you over.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, because, you know, unless Ronnie has to put that together just to ask, come over just to say, you know, what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?

[John Holmberg]

Or why does she want to. If they're not calling to ask?

[Brady Bogan]

It's their family.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they're not family to you. Not saying that. The family. If they're family. But if they're not calling you to have a. And they're having Thanksgiving, maybe I should.

[Brady Bogan]

Dive into it more.

[John Holmberg]

I think maybe you should involve yourself in your own goddamn life.

[Brady Bogan]

They're not my family, you know. But they are.

[John Holmberg]

They are your family. You and you almost drove over there. You almost had to put, like, nice clothes on and drive all the way over to a house you weren't invited to.

[Brady Bogan]

I still would have been in my short shorts.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. But you still would have had to get in the car and drive over to a house you weren't invited to. That's awkward. Can you imagine?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. What it's like? I mean, again, it does help beforehand. Like, hey, why don't you.

[John Holmberg]

To be invited?

[Brady Bogan]

You're welcome to stop by afterwards to hear that.

[John Holmberg]

That's called being invited. You guys never heard that.

[Brady Bogan]

And I could be missing some of that, but I just, you know, as far as Ronnie was saying, we might stop over and say. Oh, cool.

[John Holmberg]

Did they know, though? Oh, this is good.

[Brady Bogan]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

But they never put the 2 and.

[John Holmberg]

2, especially on Thanksgiving.

[Brady Bogan]

Never confirmed it.

[John Holmberg]

You don't just show up. There might be a reason they're not asking.

[Brady Bogan]

I did it.

[John Holmberg]

Might not like you. Brady won't accept that. Celebrate me home, though. What if you're like, I can't stand that arrogant prick Brady?

[Brady Bogan]

Then we definitely would have gone over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I would have done it if I'd have heard word of that. I'd been like, let's go, let's go. Let's go antagonize this place. But, yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe. Maybe they're. You guys just stay in your thing.

[Brady Bogan]

How about that?

[John Holmberg]

Brady almost crashed a family thing just based on the idea that he thought.

[Brady Bogan]

That he would have.

[John Holmberg]

You got. You got a high sense of self to assume you're invited no matter if they call or not. That's a lot. I would never do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I know I am. Ronnie, not so much.

[John Holmberg]

They reach out to you and just said, this is an invitation in perpetuity. They were only going to make it once, but it lives forever. I know. All invitations are goodbye Me and leave Buster Douglas at home. Yeah, man.

[Brady Bogan]

I found out we weren't invited because they only had nine ounce gloves and they needed 14.

[John Holmberg]

That's impressive for you. You guys had that conversation, let alone they didn't go, but, man. Was there a call after. Would you have called before and said, can we come over?

[Brady Bogan]

I think it was one text that Ronnie was saying, oh, she heard from her cousin.

[John Holmberg]

Can we come over? You wouldn't have asked again?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. All I know was there might have been a. There might have been a possibility we pop over there and say hi after our deal.

[John Holmberg]

But you'd have piled right in the car without saying, hey, did they ask? Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

No. No. She was waiting to hear back.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. But if they.

[Brady Bogan]

If you did, they could have gone to, you know, dinner or had it later.

[John Holmberg]

She just done something else. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

They never caught up.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with Brett. I think Brady had gotten right in the car. I'd have been asking. They asked us to come over. It's like, no, not really. But they did a few years ago. That doesn't apply anymore. That. That expires every November. You got to start it all over.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the. The last time is Mittens knocked over the stakes on the sink.

[John Holmberg]

We had.

[Brady Bogan]

We're gonna have steaks for Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And did an assist to the dogs. They ate him. And we came home, we're out. And her cousin called Ron. He's like, unbelievable. We're laughing because.

[John Holmberg]

So then you had to get a food.

[Brady Bogan]

Why don't you just come over to.

[John Holmberg]

Our place on Thanksgiving day? On Thanksgiving, they don't want you there.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you have to have a dog accident and then a phone call that says we don't get a meal, they're like, I guess you can come over here. If you're being asked on Thanksgiving to come over, they didn't want you there.

[Brady Bogan]

Why don't you just come over here?

[John Holmberg]

Was there a call afterwards that said, hey, we missed each other this Thanksgiving? What happened? I don't know, man. I gotta get in your house, start asking some questions, get Ronnie on the phone. Yeah. This is crazy. Yeah. Somebody asking you to come over on Thanksgiving didn't want you over for Thanksgiving.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, I've never had one, but for what. What I've heard, it's not like the husband is real, you know, in touch with the mother in law too often or. Or vice versa.

[John Holmberg]

You're aware of what's going on?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because you got to know, are we going or not? Because that euphoria when you find out you're not. It's unmatched. We don't have to do anything with anyone.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just great. That's why I don't interject at that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, I wouldn't either. But he also didn't say, you know, I would be like, did they ask us? No, we're always invited. I don't think that's true. I think you have to ask. You can't just go barging in. They might not want you there. Man, ringing that doorbell, I'd have been. Hey, hey. Oh, oh, look who's here. Hey, everybody. Brady and Ronnie are here. Oh. What? Oh, hey. How are you?

[Brady Bogan]

And their daughter, Herbie. Well, I guess we can go grab.

[John Holmberg]

Some chairs out of the garage. That'd be great.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's just a sign that you weren't welcome. We didn't even have chairs for you. But have a seat.

[Brady Bogan]

When you say that we ate in the garage.

[John Holmberg]

Did you? Yeah, they had a table wrapped and just on a plate. You can take this home.

[Brady Bogan]

You guys are eating over here.

[John Holmberg]

When the dogs knocked all your steaks over, did you sit back and go, well, now what? Call someone? Or are you just gonna. You had to have a meal.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, we would have had one.

[John Holmberg]

The cracker.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't worried about that.

[John Holmberg]

Phone calls were made and then trips. You had to get in the car and ride. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. You guys are crazy. You're going to get killed by family. I watch a lot of fun. Sure, sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Our last Thanksgiving with them, and frankly.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to be with them on Thanksgiving. That's why you bought steaks and had them at the house in the first place without asking them to come over for a while. This is dangerous, Bre.

[Brady Bogan]

For a while, they would host Thanksgiving, we would host Easter.

[John Holmberg]

Okay? But that doesn't happen.

[Brady Bogan]

And we did that for a couple years, and then percentage.

[John Holmberg]

And then nobody stopped hanging out. You don't like them over, they don't like you over. Don't do barging. I ain't saying that I want you getting murdered. I don't want you getting murdered. He's gonna be on one of your shows. He's gonna be on an ID channel. I watched the one about my buddy Jason from the Scottsdale auto collision. Oh, is that. I was on this weekend. Oh, damn it. That's a good one. That's a local murderer that I was somewhat involved in. But not the murder part. I just was friends with. You're always around for that. The zombie killer. Zombie killer. And Jason and his brother Chad. And I've been near. I've been murder adjacent. Brett, don't mess with me.

[Brady Bogan]

He's gotten smarter over the years.

[John Holmberg]

I just know how to. I know how to, oh, Escape the slide right out of there. I Hunter Biden myself right out of that Mary effing Holidays from the big Red. Radio homebrew, morning sickness. This segment is brought to you guys.

[Brady Bogan]

By Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some.

[John Holmberg]

Skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop.

[Brady Bogan]

Up.

[John Holmberg]

Brady started to regale me with his Thursday night movie story immediately. I think it's time for a public service announcement. Brady, please tell the tale that you told me about your movie experience last night.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, Ronnie and I checked out the Shutter island movie.

[John Holmberg]

Very good.

[Brady Bogan]

And we get into the theater.

[John Holmberg]

We went.

[Brady Bogan]

We decided to go to the. That's nothing against the theater. It was a nice theater. AMC over there on stage.

[John Holmberg]

And the 60 stadium seating.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. Why my stadium seating? Thursday night ends up as a great night to go because there's probably eight other people in that theater at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Getting our row middle, real estate, prime seats.

[John Holmberg]

And then you prefer the middle over the sides.

[Brady Bogan]

If it's crowded, I go to the sides.

[John Holmberg]

I only like the sides if it's empty. Gotcha.

[Brady Bogan]

So we sit down and then all of a sudden, here comes three larger.

[John Holmberg]

Ladies, or off the air, as you call them.

[Brady Bogan]

They look like three zeros.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Jumbos or zeros.

[Brady Bogan]

It wasn't like. There wasn't like folds. It was just blobs. Bubble.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Manatees.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but they're pretty mobile.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, pretty quick mobile manatees.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Land manatees.

[Brady Bogan]

So they sit down and less than a minute later, all of a sudden, you hear this fart the loudest. You know, it was a fart that goes into the cushion, but it was.

[John Holmberg]

Eaten by the cushion.

[Brady Bogan]

And I looked over at Ronnie, you know, joking like, oh, did you do.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's right next to me, two.

[Brady Bogan]

Seats down from her. One of the ladies unleashed. And then I can hear him giggling over there.

[John Holmberg]

That's a challenge, Brady. They were challenging. They were putting it on. They Saw the other little zero and they saw.

[Brady Bogan]

I could have probably giving them a run for the money because we. Indian food for dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for God's sakes. You don't want to risk it.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a cushion.

[Brady Bogan]

You want to.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to risk that. After Indian food that's disturbing, guys can go out, joke around and fart and stuff. But if the ladies start feeling comfortable with this, everything's going to change. We cannot make them feel comfortable. So if you were one of the chunks at the movie theater last night that blew heat into the cushions, please, for God's sakes, no. There are differences. And there's still sexism. Little bit. You're not allowed to fart like that. You're just not.

[Brady Bogan]

Four people walked out of shut. Our island. Two couples.

[John Holmberg]

Because of the gas?

[Brady Bogan]

No, just content. One about 20 minutes before the movie was ended. Guess I couldn't take it anymore. One was about midway.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Really?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Why?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. You know, who knows? Someone could have gotten a call or something, an emergency. But the last one, I think also started on raveling. Maybe they got really uncomfortable.

[John Holmberg]

The guy that sat next to me.

[Brady Bogan]

Got some swimming to do or something.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Shutter island guy that sat next to me. It was crowded when I went. His date got up about two minutes into the movie and never came back. And he audibly said, where did she. Where is she? And she never came back.

[Brady Bogan]

But I'm watching this movie. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Colin and I were laughing. It's like she could be dead in the hallway. This guy didn't make any effort to go find out. I wonder where she went. Went. Anyway. He's banging the popcorn guy. Yeah, he was. He was ready to. Yeah, that happened. Those popcorn guys. I've gotta have him. I'm leaving this. Vendors. Look at that acne. But back to the important part, ladies. It's not. It's just on. It's not. You can fart in front of your husband, you can fart in front of your family. But when you start doing the public blowouts and giggling as groups of ladies. If Sex in the City taught us one thing, it's that farting never happened on that show. As gross as they got with. You know that one of them pooped their pants, but they always made it unladylike. Guys are disgusting when it comes to that. We can't have women in groups thinking that that's a ride. Can you imagine? Tracy, Ronnie, Lisa, Megan, out. Let's look for Shoes. It's just. It's a no. No. It's a terrible no. No. And we can't ever let them feel comfortable about it. Did you get names?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Give me a better description there. It's the Gilbert Theater glass wearing glasses.

[Brady Bogan]

Looks like a couple of three zeros with eye goggles.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so they need the optograph.

[Brady Bogan]

They were, you know. Isn't it funny? Mother and two daughters. But the daughters weren't much taller than four.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Four or five.

[John Holmberg]

Who do you think did it, mom or the. The shorts?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know. I mean, my first.

[John Holmberg]

It's mom. Mom's got the comfort zone to start blowing heat with the public. Yeah, the older chicks get, the less they care. I know. The less they care, but still public. Public ass blowing theater.

[Brady Bogan]

You're with your kids. How do you teach that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go ahead, girls.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's fly.

[John Holmberg]

Fun, huh? Three zeros with goggles. They're so fat, you won't even let them have glasses. It goggled up.

[Brady Bogan]

The other funny thing, the restaurant we randomly go to is an Indian restaurant. And all of a sudden, I look on the wall and there's a picture of the owner of the restaurant with the great Khali. Wow. Right? So I'm like, I didn't know. You know, I'm like, God, who is that? I. I froze for a second. You know, like, he's in the longest yard. A couple. That's a great Kali. He'll be here next week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because the Wrestlemania lives.

[Brady Bogan]

His trainer has a. Goes. Has a condo right over there. And he goes. He comes in every week, every time he's in town.

[John Holmberg]

Really? You got to come down there. Brady's gonna be hanging around there. Great star, searching again. You hang out at the Indian. You talk to the owner again. How does this happen to you? Did you get free food? The owner does.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's like the only one in there.

[Brady Bogan]

The whole family works there.

[John Holmberg]

Are you the only one in there at the time?

[Brady Bogan]

No, there's three other teams.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I don't think Indian food just hits people on a Thursday, for the most part. So he's probably just gotta.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's telling, you know, great Kelly stories, like he's Paul Bunyan, 7 foot 6, most powerful Indian man in the world.

[John Holmberg]

They're proud of him.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, they're proud.

[John Holmberg]

You ever think Ronnie just sits there and goes, she's. Look, she always talks to the manager. He never talks to me.

[Brady Bogan]

Who is the great Kelly?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And so I showed her. Oh, yeah, that guy.

[John Holmberg]

And you Two are going to be in line next week, waiting.

[Brady Bogan]

He had to duck his head in.

[John Holmberg]

Order to get in Wrestlemania. Brady. Hey. I like it. Hey, Khali. He's walking to the ring. We shared a plate once.

[Brady Bogan]

I like Indian Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Indian Brady's pretty cool. I enjoy that, too.

[Brady Bogan]

He love the garlic knife.

[John Holmberg]

So are you gassy or poop filled right now?

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. It was good.

[John Holmberg]

Good. All right. Good. Yeah. We just got to keep the lady. Maybe they had Indian food, too. Brady, these zeros. The family of zeros. That's just gross.

[Brady Bogan]

Should I go back to eat with great Khali?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I will call out all girls that used to fart publicly. There was a girl named Mindy. I forgot her last name. And Mindy Nix in high school. Never knew her.

[Brady Bogan]

Intentionally or accidentally farted.

[John Holmberg]

Was well known for farts. Just thought it was funny. And I didn't even know her, but it's like, yeah, yes, but people. And that would kill it. And then the one, the dawn girl that. That the challenged the skinny kid in school to pick her up. And she said, you could pick me up. And he picked her up. And when he did, she went. And her senior year was a nightmare from there on. And that's the way it should be. Public ridicule, but that one was a little bit different. But yeah, girls that fart. I was with a girl on a little swim thing, a little party at her house and stuff. And she's in the kitchen and she stood next to me. She lifted her leg and goes right at me. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm leaving. I had a track. I had interest in you until just then. And now you are the grossest pile of human garbage. You're a landfill. And I'm gonna walk away from you and never speak to you again. And tell everybody this tale, by the way. Why? Because you're sick. You're gross. I was raised by monkeys or something. Right at you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Girls who fart. It's not fair, I'll tell you that. There's a double standard, but the double standard exists. It's just disgusting. That's gross. It's out of control. Now it's Brett Vesley from homework's morning sickness. Now, I've always been the kind of guy that takes care of my own lawn. That's until I found Divine Design Landscaping. These guys aren't your typical mow and blow landscaping company. They do amazing work. And it's just what I needed to finally throw in the towel and let the experts take over. If you've been unhappy with your landscaping or sick of trying to do it yourself, well, it's time to get a hold of Divine Design Landscaping. These guys handle everything. Lawn care, irrigation, tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs. Get a free [e-mail] that's DivineDesign lawn care.com all right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Head north to Desert Ridge to catch Chris Turner from AGT and Heather Posternach perform in Tempe at the Improv. You've got Matt Friend and local girl Jesse Jet Ski Johnson doing their sets. And downtown at Stand Up Live, enjoy the comedy of Timmy no Breaks Lunel and Jay Pharoah entertaining you this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com here's another best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] 78 degrees today in this beautiful place so you can sit, get a little shade so you're not, you know, squinting. Squinting causes wrinkles and we're all getting to that age. We got to worry about that. So let's get some shade on that back patio. We're sitting outside sipping mimosas and watching TV on that glorious television you've got on your back patio as well. A lot of people have that going on, but the glare gets them all. Pro Shade can fix that. Check it out. AllProChade.com get a motorized shade or one of those blinds right now and they'll throw in a heater for you so you can enjoy the nighttime temperatures when the shade is permanent. AllPro Shade.com is where you go.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady Reporter Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Maple Syrup Day.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Sounded a little erotic how you said that.

[Brady Bogan]

It is for people.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Maple syrup is a game changer person.

[John Holmberg]

A game changer people.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In what regard? The real maple syrup, how different is it? Is it different?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Butter's Butterworth's pretty good. I ain't complaining about that again.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't mind it, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I got no complaints.

[John Holmberg]

Are you snobbish about your I get maple syrup. You do?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it's that drastically because every time I've had Like something. Like everything. Like Log Cabin or something.

[Brady Bogan]

But it's not like I have pancakes or waffles all the time.

[John Holmberg]

But I don't like. I actually prefer Ms. Buttersworth over everything I've ever had. And maybe I've had real syrup and maybe I haven't. Where do they have it? Like ihop.

[Brady Bogan]

You can get it at Costco.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm saying, like, in a restaurant. I'm not gonna go to Costco and shop for syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll never get a nice little jug of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't need a jug of syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

That's all you need.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody does. Nobody needs a jug.

[Brady Bogan]

Take a little swig from it.

[John Holmberg]

No, never mind. I'm going to ask. Doing shoes. Does yours have three X's on it? A jug? Like, where can I. Do they have it at ihop? I'm asking. It's the only place I'll ever eat pancakes.

[Brady Bogan]

They. They do have that International. International Lazy Susan with all the flavors.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think they have that anymore. Last time I was there.

[Brady Bogan]

I haven't been there in a while, too. I would assume they would have it, but then again, IHOP doesn't have the real stuff. Cracker Barrel has it, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Game changer. All right. And didn't say that. But I said you did. Okay, I'll stick to Mrs. Butterworth. That seems reasonable. And it's close enough. It's like Adderall and cocaine.

[Brady Bogan]

But if you had one.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to do the other one.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not going to do difference between. Between Aunt Jemima and Butterworth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. One's wearing a bandana and the other's glass.

[Brady Bogan]

On the taste.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, not the wardrobe. Maybe I prefer Mrs. Butterworth. I like the commercial. She used to make me feel comfortable. She would swing around. I used to hate it when my. My bottle just come to life and start talking to me about breakfast. Hello. She's skating around on the thing. I thought that was cool. And then you put that little bite. You're like, come on. Come to life, Drainer.

[Brady Bogan]

Like the honey bear, too. On honey.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Honey bear made me. Honey bear was adorable.

[Brady Bogan]

Comforting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But he never, like, had a commercial where he was like, hey, Mrs. Butterworth was like. The bottle just started sliding around.

[Brady Bogan]

She did interact.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't a cartoon. It was like. Like the bottom thing says, does Brady eat like Buddy the elf? Yep. He gets excited about the same things. Waffles, pancakes. It's hard to keep them out of the tree.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the same Hostess made potato chips with orange, cherry and grape flavors in the 1970s and unleashed them in Canada, and they failed miserably.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, this doesn't count. Brett, you found a Ms. Butterworth's Light Commercial. Then you say you really do talk. My light syrup's even thicker than before with almost half the calories of my regular syrup. Mom, this is butter talking. I know, dear Mrs. Butter, you crazy little. We're going to go to the fair. We're going to the original one here. Hang on. Okay, the bottle's talking to the baby again. Well, that's limu Emu. That's not. Skip the other Kim Fields. It is too. Syrup is very thick and rich. Thick and rich.

[Brady Bogan]

Just watch.

[John Holmberg]

See how the leading syrup just runs over this stack while Mrs. Butterworth takes her own snive. Now, my syrup's got to be thick to pour this slowly. Truth is, Mrs. Butterworth's is twice as thick as the other. She's thick in all the right spaces and rich and. Get your fingers off the food, you pig. I love, love you. Oh, I felt the same way.

[Brady Bogan]

What was the difference? What did Anima.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady Bogan]

On her commercial, she didn't interact or.

[John Holmberg]

Was it just she wasn't allowed to talk to the homeowners? I think she was allowed to speak to the people in the house until she was spoken to.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't remember Anima.

[John Holmberg]

Remember they had to change her clothes there cuz it was getting a little uncomfortable seeing her on the front. I don't think Anima got to talk to the people. Just white people pouring stuff all over the place. And Jemima Pancakes without her syrup is like the spring without the fall. Wow, that's terrible. That's crazy, Man. I love that Mrs. Butterworth bottle. There's something weird about it. John, I love you, man. I really do.

[Brady Bogan]

Been living for a long time, but come on, dude. Mrs. Butterworth is about as fake ass crap as you can get. If it don't cost over seven or eight bucks, it ain't real syrup.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sign Brady Bogan. All right. I don't think it's that big a difference. I don't think on your pipe and hot flapjacks. Yeah, I think you got a problem.

[Brady Bogan]

Real maple syrup later.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks for reading my email. Brady's right. It don't cost you 10 bucks for.

[Brady Bogan]

Your 2 cent flapjacks to taste a little bit different.

[John Holmberg]

It ain't worth it.

[Brady Bogan]

Stay here, Ralphie. Got a couple of stories I'll tell you right now.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, that's expensive syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'll also say this if you've got a problem. Oh, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

If you're spending $10 on syrup, you got a problem.

[Brady Bogan]

You got something going on. You got a problem from Ralphie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you might have a weight issue.

[Brady Bogan]

Ralphie May tells you you're a little bit chunky. You've lost it. America's divided on the correct way to eat a candy cane.

[John Holmberg]

One bite.

[Brady Bogan]

What? You crunch them. I know you do. 54% start with the end. The straight end. Yep. 30% start with the curved end. And 16% break apart into pieces.

[John Holmberg]

Give it to a woman if she starts.

[Brady Bogan]

Starts with a curve.

[John Holmberg]

And she's a pro. You gotta get her going.

[Brady Bogan]

She's a pro.

[John Holmberg]

She's starting to work her way around Talita. She's done that for money.

[Brady Bogan]

She is a pro. Start to the curved end.

[John Holmberg]

I tell you, right there, nothing gonna stop her playing.

[Brady Bogan]

Ralphie. A study found that eating too many sweets is bad for your heart. But eating no sweets or sugar, bad for yourself. Oh, it's bad for your heart too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait.

[Brady Bogan]

Zero sugar is bad for your soul?

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

This just did on the Brady Report.

[John Holmberg]

No sugar is bad for you. And all sugar is bad.

[Brady Bogan]

Researchers tracked the added sugar intake of 70,000 people to see how it affected their heart health. They looked at three sources. Sugary toppings like honey. Sweets like cookies. Sweetened drinks like soda. They found that too much sugar, especially in drinks, can up your risk in a heart attack or stroke. They were surprised to find that people who completely avoided sugar were also at a higher risk.

[John Holmberg]

I found that a hot shower at 8am is up in your wrist for a heart attack.

[Brady Bogan]

Pretty good. They think it's possible that.

[John Holmberg]

What? Why would I do that? Dumbass. Shut up.

[Brady Bogan]

Why would I suffocate myself? They think it's possible that had a massive heart attack.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo. And laid under a bed, left a.

[Brady Bogan]

Bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I had some food in the other room.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine that. Brady always remembers the finer details of a man's heart attack. Who's gonna finish off these Fruity Pebbles?

[Brady Bogan]

Watch this. How'd be all the steak on the toilet? Yeah, we ate impacted fecal matter.

[John Holmberg]

Bunch of poop inside. I suffocated.

[Brady Bogan]

Toledo thinks I'm so fat I couldn't get my head out of a pillow. Unbelievable. Dumbass.

[John Holmberg]

Shut up. Go on, Brady. Tell more dirty stories.

[Brady Bogan]

That's it, Ralphie.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'm out of here.

[Brady Bogan]

All right. Wait a minute. What's your favorite dinosaur? Oh, no. If this is a dad joke, up.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna be mad that I didn't leave.

[Brady Bogan]

They surveyed Americans to see if they have a favorite dinosaur. I like the velociraptor. Nice. Okay, 41 of adults don't have a favorite dinosaur because they're grown ups. Brady, what's yours? Brady?

[John Holmberg]

The scary part of that is 59% of adults do. If you're on a date with somebody.

[Brady Bogan]

Say, what's your favorite dinosaur?

[John Holmberg]

And they ask, answer, leave. You can end up in a box.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, so I'm leaving. He just left. Texter says, hey, Ralphie, you know Ms. Butterworth's got a higher credit score than Aunt Jemima.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. Yeah. 41 of adults. Adults that have a favorite dinosaur also have Asperger.

[Brady Bogan]

I grew up a tricerat, like in the Triceratops. As I've gotten older.

[John Holmberg]

Favorite dinosaur. Well, let's see. What's your favorite color? Okay, that's reasonable. But still, I'm an adult. Favorite dinosaur. What's your favorite bug? Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character? All right, this date's over.

[Brady Bogan]

The annual Consumers Electronics show in Vegas starts today. Runs through Friday. Already got tipped off on a couple of things out there. LG has a new see through tv. It's called the O L E D T for transparency apparent. When it's off, you can see right through it.

[John Holmberg]

The TV just goes away.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like a window.

[John Holmberg]

It's invisible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. They claim they're getting rid of the big black rectangle that makes the whole world feel big.

[John Holmberg]

I knew you'd laugh at that. He just hated that. He laughed when you said getting rid of the big black blank. That was it. He can't live without the world being filled with, oh, racism. And it's again, I have to explain to people, Brett's not racist. No. He just knows a lot of people out there are going to find that hysterical. He seeks it because it. Well, it finds you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. A brand called Sevy.

[John Holmberg]

Can you just. Before you start laughing, just start with oh, cuz you know that's going to spark someone else. I think that's just my. Yeah, that is my. Oh. As soon as you hear me start laughing. If Brett heard it, that means somebody really bad heard it too, and they're going to do something about it. Well, I'll be out somewhere and somebody's always like, oh, man. Dude, you laugh at the same stuff I do. Exactly. Now they don't feel bad. And that's a thing. That's a. I'm gonna say it. That's a trigger to knowing that that person is evil or potentially evil. That's a fact.

[Brady Bogan]

A new poll asks thousands of bus travelers worldwide to. To rank the things that annoy them the most that other riders do about.

[John Holmberg]

The bus, about riding. Here's what you're doing. Is that you don't have a very good job.

[Brady Bogan]

You can say that the number one response was playing music too loud.

[John Holmberg]

I'm poor is the answer.

[Brady Bogan]

Participating in sexual activity was second.

[John Holmberg]

I'll get you.

[Brady Bogan]

Followed by having poor personal hygiene. Those were the global rankings. But among Americans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The most annoying thing was personal hygiene. Number one. Then playing loud music music. Followed by smoking or vaping, then talking too loudly. And then coming in fifth place. Sexual activity.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's landed on both the international and American stuff you don't like to see on a bus.

[Brady Bogan]

And all five of those outranked, passing gas or burping.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even like thinking about people on the bus having sex, let alone actually see. I only think about the bus. I don't like. Yeah, I like to look at buses and kind of thank my lucky stars. And then I've seen bus stops. That's the last place I want to stand for a few seconds. No offense to you people at the bus stop. Except for, yes, it is. If you're at a bus stop right now, I'm sorry, but it's not going your way. It's not New York City if you're taking a bus here. Things aren't to going your way.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'd say you probably know that.

[John Holmberg]

But they know that. That's why they get so mad when you're like, you're not doing this for the environment. Hey, yeah. There isn't one like, you know, Greta Thunberg in Phoenix that just takes the bus. If you're taking it because. No, because then you meet the people on the bus and you're like, I can't do this. I don't care. I don't love the Earth this much. What. What about being an environmentalist would continue to be passionate to you about saving. Saving the planet when you meet the people that you're saving on the bus, like, that's the fastest way to want the Earth to go away is to be on a bus. Like, we need to do something about this place. I'm not getting on any buses, even a private bus. Like, I don't like going on the shuttles at Phoenix Open, and I know that has that, but I don't like getting on those things. They're awful. The trolley to a Cubs game that's.

[Brady Bogan]

Why some of those cities where light rail too.

[John Holmberg]

Light rail, Spirit airlines, the bus. The bus of the sky. They call them sky buses. No, thanks. And again, I apologize to you. But if you're standing in line for the bus or you're actually on the bus right now, unless you're the driver, this isn't worked out for you. Don't go back to school. Go back to school. That's right. If you're on a bus right now, there's plenty of online colleges and anything's better than what you're doing.

[Brady Bogan]

42 year old George Owens, he's from Leeds, Alabama. He crashed his car into a pole in the parking lot of the bass pro shop. And he got out of his car, stripped off all his clothes, ran into the store and did a cannonball in the aquarium.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. So much better than feeding bass.

[Brady Bogan]

He walked over, stood under the waterfall for a little sure wash off. Shoppers were stunned. The police showed up. Before they caught him, he jumped in the water a second time, then slipped, knocked himself out. Is that why you don't drink, Brady?

[John Holmberg]

You would be in there.

[Brady Bogan]

That's part of it, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You would definitely. Cannonball at the Bass Pro Shops. Totally worth whatever the fine. Oh my God, I hope he's.

[Brady Bogan]

That would public lewdness, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. Oh, that's. That was him losing it. Brady, I will pay all of your fees and fine if you do a naked dive into the aquarium of Bass Pro. All of so worth it. So good for the show. In other news, local radio disc jockey Brady Boggan jumped into a pool at the Bass pro shop. And everybody listen be like, oh my God, he did it. All the fees and fines, you don't have to worry about a thing. Just goes on your record as a great, great story. Yeah, you're old enough now. Records. Nobody's holding you. That doesn't matter. Exactly. What do you got? If we're still here in five years, you can retire with that one and you never have to look for a job again. It says here you have a felony. Yeah, I hopped into the bass pro shop aquarium with my dingaling out. That's hilarious. You're hired.

[Brady Bogan]

I for one think you'd be perfect for Cabela's.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to clown college, Brady. Thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

An old man in Long Island, New York got a little messed up and heated because he tried to reheat his Taco Bell in the microwave and it's aluminum wrapper. So he went back to the taco Bell made a big scene berating the employees, demanding that they repay him for his tacos and his microwave.

[John Holmberg]

We left him in there for a while.

[Brady Bogan]

Says it blew up. Pretty sure it says don't microwave on that aluminum foil. He saw one of the employees smile and he slapped him hard. Oh, man, there's a video.

[John Holmberg]

Knock that smug smile off your face before I knock it off for you. I want my $19 back.

[Brady Bogan]

A poll asked 2,000Americans which major Christmas. Christmas traditions they'd be open to getting rid of.

[John Holmberg]

Christmas traditions that you want. Want gone.

[Brady Bogan]

They'd be okay if they're gone. Number one was sending Christmas cards.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, completely. I've been done with. I've been done with all cards for probably 10 or 12 years now. Let me tell you how freeing that is, because it is the Lee. I've said it for years. It is the least you can do for somebody. It is thoughtless, meaningless. Somebody else's thoughts you purchase for $2 and send to someone else because that's how little you think of them. You didn't even take the time to write a note. You found something that someone else wrote and then they mass produced and you fired it off to them. Cards.

[Brady Bogan]

There's usually a little note on it or a page of the rundown of accomplishments.

[John Holmberg]

If you get. If you. If you put together. That's what Facebook's for. That's what cards have been eliminated.

[Brady Bogan]

Ugly Christmas sweaters. Number two, Christmas carolers.

[John Holmberg]

I was thinking that, too. That's on the list for me.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three is gift giving. Number four, Secret Santa gift exchanges. People are bailing out on Christmas. Christmas music was number five.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It gets us in trouble. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's push in trouble. Top 10 Christmas movies. Watching Christmas movies. Elf on a shelf. Christmas lights, holiday treats. Is there anything decorating your tree?

[John Holmberg]

No, that's all Christmas stuff. That's dumb. Well, those are just name 10 traditions. Ones that do need to go. I don't have a real problem with it because they don't pop up too often. But Christmas carolers, I got no need for that. I think that only works in snow. You don't want to do that here when it's 80 degrees.

[Brady Bogan]

They also ask the people to rank some new traditions. They'd swap in, spend all day in your pajamas.

[John Holmberg]

What's stopping you?

[Brady Bogan]

That's every Saturday and Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

I do plenty of that.

[Brady Bogan]

What is. They're making that a tradition.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

Focus on quality time together instead of gifts, decorations, and meals. No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Gifts are important.

[Brady Bogan]

Number three, take A vacation.

[John Holmberg]

That'S a gift.

[Brady Bogan]

Or have a themed Christmas. Like tropical Christmas. Christmas in pajama pajamas.

[John Holmberg]

That's a lot of work. Stupid. Just deal with what it is. Right. It's a tradition for a reason. If you don't like it, nobody's holding a gun to your head. I love Christmas. The excessive celebration of. Of commerce. It's the most capitalistic holiday we've got. Vacation time. Jesus's birthday. Smart day. This is about opulence and excessive behaviors. We dress our houses up like hookers every year. We throw a tree in there. We dress that like a hooker. And then we just shower each other with stuff that is glorious. And then we do it in the name of commerce. Nobody ever does a report. Every Christmas. And you know, on the. The day after Black Friday and says, boy, Jesus got a lot of attention. And nope. Said Black Friday was a massive success. All these companies are in the black now. Nope. Nobody ever talks about the spirituality. And I know that's what Charlie Brown wants you to think, but that's what I celebrate. The excessive whorish nature of our entire nation is on display for three weeks a year. And man, do we get it going. And I love it. Driving around and seeing everybody's house lit up. It's beautiful, John.

[Brady Bogan]

Can we just bounce the religious part of it?

[John Holmberg]

That's the worst tradition of all. I think that is the part that should be go because it's. It's been taken over by Wall street and greedy companies, and we're part of it. And I love it. You can. You can keep your religious side of it. Let's just start. Let's just, you know, we can start brushing that aside. I think it is. I think it has been a lot lately. Yeah. Opulence, excessiveness. Oh, it's fantastic. Vacation, my fan. Weeks and weeks of freedom. It's the best. It is the best. You want to toss Jesus birthday in there? Great. Good. Don't care. I'm gonna. I don't put anything on my house outside of just garish lighting and ridiculous decorations. All through. I've got teddy bears.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody else do.

[John Holmberg]

Well, inside. I don't. The whole place is just loaded with stuff. It's great.

[Brady Bogan]

We grew up. We put our two hours in every. Every Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

For what?

[Brady Bogan]

Usually the religious side, you go to mass.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

And then you'd have. What do they call birthday cake?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And you do. Do you still do the cake?

[Brady Bogan]

If the. Yeah, the family still does. What do they call the ones that are Christmas and Easter? Only CEOs.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

I just said it.

[John Holmberg]

And you have the. Like, your mom's coming out, so you're gonna have any excuse to have cake. You just put Happy Birthday Jesus on.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you go to. You do a birthday cake for. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

As a family. Is that a bogan thing or is that a. No, no. He nailed it. It's a way to eat.

[John Holmberg]

They still.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think so. I think other people might do it.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. I've never heard of that.

[Brady Bogan]

I've never heard.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard of that. I went to Brady's house once and it was June and there's a big cake. I'm like, what is it? Jesus is 20, 24 and a half. I'm like, oh, Jesus, we're celebrating cake. Yeah, good stuff. Every half birthday, he's getting his learner's permit.

[Brady Bogan]

He. Easter's great. There's a couple of cakes.

[John Holmberg]

You get all sorts of cakes. But you get cakes for Easter.

[Brady Bogan]

A good Friday, you know, less over even. It's a celebration death cake. I know Fat Tuesday has. And then Sunday. No, we don't.

[John Holmberg]

You don't do nail them up on a cross cake.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, but I was thinking about. Of course you were thinking about implementing a new tradition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I'm guessing every time you think about traditions, cake is involved.

[Brady Bogan]

So before we get to Brady's videos.

[John Holmberg]

This is the Bass Pro shop tank. This is the aquarium that Brady would get in.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's where the feeding happens, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

There's your dream tank. It's like a sex show for you in there. All those fish. I've never been in a Bass Pro Shops, but it looks like I've seen two feedings.

[Brady Bogan]

Only two? Well, that. No, I think they do it twice a day.

[John Holmberg]

My God, that place looks like Ed Gein's house.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's got a waterfall into the. The tank.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna lose Brady, boys. I'm not comfortable in the video.

[Brady Bogan]

There was that trend going around like two years ago where people were doing that jumping in the aquarium. It was like a tick tock challenge.

[John Holmberg]

In the Bass Pro Shops. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

There was a couple kids that did it.

[John Holmberg]

Never heard of it. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not really a punishment for Brady.

[John Holmberg]

But it sure it would be amusing.

[Brady Bogan]

For us if he lost Rock wars and had to jump in the.

[John Holmberg]

Put it in the. Put it in the thing. Put it in the thing. Brady has to be in a tank of bass for a feeding. Whether it's Bass Pro Shops or not. We need a tank of bass.

[Brady Bogan]

Where's the fish hatchery? We got to get him up there.

[John Holmberg]

And just like dangling it while the fish eat off of him. Oh, it's his dream, cuz, you know, he got caught, beaten off to a fish. It tickled. Now imagine if they had attacked him. Oh, it's feeding time. Guy running down the hall, he ran into kslx David Mahoney. The guys at KPD just came up with a great idea and they didn't even realize it. Have people call in and tell you what their favorite dinosaurs. Radio consultant 101. That's why radio's surviving. And all these margins market all these great ideas that consultants are giving these chat GPT morning shows. They call in and say, what's your favorite dinosaur? You get an hour's worth of radio out. Okay, I just had to run down here and tell you, God, I love radio.

[Brady Bogan]

Right after their syrup discussion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, how do we do that? And on top of this hotbed of syrup discussions.

[Brady Bogan]

And remember, if you don't do it, you're gone.

[John Holmberg]

The nine o' clock hour, we decide what America's favorite dinosaur. Then we go home and put guns in our mouths and think about it.

[Brady Bogan]

Steak. His horse is leading.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, great bit today out there. You know, I can't figure out why the state of radio is in such bad shape with bits like, what's your favorite dinosaur? Would you take 30, 40 calls from a bunch of Asperger's adults listening to ELTON John? Smart.

[Brady Bogan]

60% of people had one.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't buy the guy who said brontosaurus. I mean, who wants the vegan? It Lily sparked a lot of conversation around boring households. Radio consultancy, the easiest job in the world. We take dull people and make them duller. And we get paid an astronomical amount of money to do so. Sorry, say we're done. I was closing up shot. Well, the consultant was here. I'm like, I gotta get out. There's a reason why radios dying. And they're called radio consultants. It's out of control now. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. All right, as you probably already know, we've got the big Holmberg After Dark show this Friday, December 12th. An amazing little list of guests will be a part of it all. You're not going to want to miss this one, but you better get those tickets fast because this one sells out. Holmberg After Dark, Friday, December 12th at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holmer here from the morning sickness to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I don't know about you guys, but knowing in my heart and head how uncertain the future is is daunting. Get smart, be less exposed and go to Trajan Wealth. The team over there will make sure your future is at least certain as far as it comes. An estate plan in case life throws you a curveball. I wandered around until I was 49 without a will and trust. And once I did it, man oh man, a weight left my shoulders. If you're saying in your head, boy, I need to do this, then do it. Call Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Legal services are offered through Trajan Estate Law Firm LLC. Cease and desist at once. The best of homework's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

This is the big red rating.

[John Holmberg]

We are sitting here on the birth date of a legend. I tell you, a legend. In our own world it is. He's right outside. He's here. We're very excited to have him once again. It's his birthday. Earth day birthday. Same thing for him. And he is a legend because he has aged beautifully. He's fat, beautifully old. Yeah, nobody cares. Evidently he's aged like a fine wine. It looks bad the bottle is not attractive anymore. And yet people still absolutely want a sip of it. Jennifer Lawrence, just a couple years ago, moistened up by the mere presence of our next. I think that's true. Absolutely. She just got star struck. That's the same. I don't think she up. She moistened up. I think you would. I think just 50 year difference. Even you might get a little bit plump if Jack Nicholson came by and said not bad. If like, oh, wait a minute, I think I might get bone.

[Brady Bogan]

What's happening to my mother?

[John Holmberg]

Why am I so, so excited here? That's the age difference of Brady and an infant. Yeah, but there's a difference. Not necessarily in size, but yes, there is a difference. Like Brady, you'd do it. Let's let him in here. Everybody, Jack Nicholson is here. Come on, Jack. Oh, happy birthday. How's it going, Jackie? Nice to see everybody again. They're not Jessup. You don't mind if I tickle your pickle for while we're sitting here, do you Brady? I'll make you. Exactly. Why is that?

[Brady Bogan]

It's an honor.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz I'm a legend and it's an honor. Exactly. Well, I'm waiting.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy birthday.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. What'd you get me? Nothing. I figured so. Most poor people don't celebrate birthdays because they claim to be Jehovah's Witnesses, but what they are is Prosecution. You bought one of our listeners a bottle of liquor in the liquor store one time. Remember that story? I basically remember how he told it and how it really happened. Oh, really?

[Brady Bogan]

How did.

[John Holmberg]

I basically turned around and said, if I buy you a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, will you leave me alone? He said, yes. I bought the bottle for $200. I got rid of a barnacle.

[Brady Bogan]

Speed up the cashing out.

[John Holmberg]

Let's hurry this along, shall we? If you quit staring at me, I'll buy you something. I got loads of money and you've got a bucket of Keystone. Let's just talk about where we stand here. Oh, is Laura Flynn Boyle getting faxed over or something? To fax her somewhere later today? And then hammer away on that piece of paper until dawn. That's just how I roll.

[Brady Bogan]

You hanging out with the Property Brothers tonight?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me and the pro. Me, the me and the not gay one. I haven't decided which one that is yet, but I'm going to hammer one of them. We're going to three way. One of you old broads who wants her bathroom redone. Oh, we're going to redo your bathroom.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy Earth Day too.

[John Holmberg]

When we're done, it's going to look a lot like Carl's Bad Caverns. Stalactites off the ceiling, stalagmites off the ground. Whichever direction they had, I might have gotten it backwards. I. I don't care. I'm never going to see that room again. Are you into Earth Day? I'm totally into Earth Day. In fact, I've opened up a new nursery and a Spread the Earth Day spirit. In fact, free seed for all the ladies today that come by Jack's nursery. Awesome. Come on by, say hey. I want to be part of Jack's Nursery and receive a mouthful of free seed. Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, sir.

[John Holmberg]

You count. You're like a little beanbag. All I want to do is lay on you, take naps and play video games.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's do it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm in. Let's go to the phone so people can wish me a happy birthday all the way across this land. Frank, are you there? Yeah, I am. You're not that awful caliendo, are you? No, I'm not. Nobody likes impressions. Is that true? Fact. Oh, no. How are you, Frank? I'm doing good. Don't you have something to say to me? Sit there in that little uniform. That's better. I had half a mind to down your throat, but I didn't. What do you do for a living? I'm an inspector for aerospace parts. Inspector for aerospace. That's important, see? Do you have a female boss? No, I don't. Good. Then it's a good operation. If you had a female boss, you'd have to nail it. Cuz there's nothing better than that feeling. I'm going to read three lines from movies I've been in. My lines. The best lines ever. You don't even need the other characters. You tell me what movies these lines are from. Are you ready? Yeah. Movie number one. Men are such sea suckers, aren't they? You don't have to answer that. It's true. True, they're scared. Their wieners get limp when confronted with women of obvious power. And what do they do about it? They call them witches. Burn them, torture them until every woman's afraid. Afraid of herself, afraid of men, and for what? Fear of losing their hard on. Movie number two. Three things to remember as you get older. Never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard on and never trust a fart. Movie number number three. Never interrupt me. Not if there's a fire. Not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home. And one week later there's a smell coming from the room that only can be decaying human body flesh. Not to be told. The hanky panky right in front of me getting too loud. Don't say a word. Or if it's election night and you're excited, you want to celebrate because some fudge packer that you date has been elected the first queer president. Leave me alone. Those are the three films. What are their names? Names go. First one looks at least lick. Maybe. Maybe the second one. Titanic. Great. In that film. There's my music. What's the second one? You don't know? Know, don't know. You're dismissed. My birthday song is on. I like it. Pilot Josh is there. How are you, pilot Josh? I'm doing well, Mr. Nicholson. Happy birthday, sir. Thank you. How old are you pilot Josh? I am 37. 37 years young. Are you slaying or did you lock yourself down at an early. An early age? I've been playing a for the last 10 years, sir. My anniversary is tomorrow and I'm hoping to win some money here. A decade with one woman? Yes, sir. That's disgusting. We're not giving away money so you could be in trouble. You're gonna get screwed on this one pilot. Well, chances are I'll probably lose, but I'm in the text contest, so, you know, maybe you give me a call.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

How about this one? Since it's your anniversary tomorrow and my birthday today, I'm feeling generous. Name this movie and I'll give you tickets to Mastodon. Things to remember when you get older. Never pass up a bathroom. Never waste a hard on. Never trust a fart. Part of me wants to say it's about Schmidt, but I don't think that's right. I was creating that one. Yeah, you were. It was actually filmed in my hometown. I didn't know. Your story bores me. Sorry, Mr. Nicholson. Answer the question before I hang up on you and your decrepit 10 year relationship. I'm gonna say I'll just go with my gut about. Incorrect. Your gut was incredibly wrong. Which goes to the phrase, never trust a fart. Violet, Josh is gone. Jaren, are you there? I said Jaren.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

How you doing? When I talk to you, you talk to me. I don't have a lot of time left on this earth. I don't have time to pussyfoot around with you not listening. I'm sorry. Happy birthday. That's better.

[Brady Bogan]

If you want to do it. Mr. Nicholson. Order that Code Red. I'm. I'm ready.

[John Holmberg]

Are you ready to beat him with a pillowcase full of soap?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we're standing by.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's a good soldier. I'm surprised Brady would do that. I am a little surprised by that myself. Brady? You would kill him end for me with a pillowcase of soap?

[Brady Bogan]

I think I would, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He likes celebrities. I didn't like them that much. I want to see that happen. I want you to die at the hands of Brady Bogan. Sure, sir. What do you think? With it? We'll pay for it. All right. Doug Brady, on my command, murder this guy. Where's your God now? All right, let's try another one from you. Are you ready? Yes, I am. We'll try this. All right. Good luck. I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them. And that ain't bad. A Few Good Men, huh? Was that the quote?

[Brady Bogan]

A Few Good Men.

[John Holmberg]

A Few Good Men. Apparently, A Few Good Men is the only movie you've been in. Is absolutely incorrect. Goodbye. It's your only feature. It's the only one anyone remembers. Evidently. All right, Jeff. I feel good. Yes, I am. The Jew version of my military greatness. All right, Pollux in both of them all right, Jeff. Anything to say to me? Living legend Jack Nicholson. Happy birthday, Jack. That's right. Would you get. What? If you could get me anything? If I would grace you with my presence, which I own. What would you get me? I would get you the Minnesota Wild winning Stanley Cup. Wow. The Minnesota Wild winning the Stanley Cup. Yes. Whoa. He said whoa. Great. Have you seen it? Minnesota has the biggest problem the United States with recruiting of ISIS people. Who'd have ever guessed that place got so boring? Boring? You'd want to join ISIS for a little fun. That's why I live. Because you. Because you wanted to avoid the temptation. Yes. All right, now you're making me nervous. All right. Good luck.

[Brady Bogan]

Code red, sir. Code red.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You want to kill this guy too? Yeah. Brady's got a little murderous vein in his blood today. But I love Brady. He doesn't love you. He wants to hit you in the face with a sack full of doorknobs.

[Brady Bogan]

Ops.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well. Dang. All right. Here's your movie. Good luck. Thank you. I got this rat. It's non cheese eating, effing rat. It brings up questions. You see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend. Why don't you stay in the bar that night? I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. That's the departed is right. Final. Good job. Get one more and you're a winner. I like where I was going with this one. I'll try another one from here. Hi. My name's Melvin. This is Carol the waitress and Simon the fag. Oh, man. Has a little dog played by Greg Kinnear. Helen Hook is the woman. Come on. That's as good as it gets for quotes. Unbelievable. I don't know what's going on. This generation disappoints me. Why don't you go to the local Netflix? I'm not sure how it works. And pick out a few of my favorites. And then sit down and binge watch a real actor. Me or Brady's gonna come to your house with a. A sack full of soap and knock you senseless. I would enjoy that. Enjoy my birthday. Wow. Somebody getting kind of a kinky fetish out of you. Beating the tar out of him. Brady. Oh, Maybe you should try that at home with Ronnie. Couple of swings of the old dove bar into her head and maybe she's gonna start liking you a little more. How's your sister mom doing? Sister Mom's good. Thanks for asking. A lot of people don't know that story.

[Brady Bogan]

You share the same birthday with my sister.

[John Holmberg]

Looks like my sister got knocked up at a relatively early age. And in order to avoid embarrassment that Eric seems to ignore, my mother was not my real mother. They turned her into my sister. And I was raised by what would have been my grandmother because, let's face it, my sister was a whore.

[Brady Bogan]

You're over it now, though.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently I'm completely past it. Through a lot of therapy. Maybe not so much past it as I am the guy who doesn't like it brought up too often.

[Brady Bogan]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

I apologize. When it gets brought up, the pain comes. I'm sorry. Brady, grab the soap. It's time. You got any Roman movies? You're doing Roman movies? Oh, no. I haven't done any of those for a while. Last one we did was a complete abject failure, and one of us had to leave the country. It's time for me to go. That's right. Jack's off so long, It's out of control now.

[Brady Bogan]

TRA wealth has made retirement planning simple. It's Brady from hms and it's one of the many reasons that I'm a client with Trajan We Wealth. Call Trajan Wealth. Schedule a complimentary consultation at 480-378-0700 or check out trajanwealth.com T R A J A N wealth.com it's time to put your retirement plan together. Give Trajan Wealth a call to ensure you're making the right financial moves for your future. Trades and wealth your local trusted financial fiduciary advisory services through trades and Wealth LLC. SEC registered investment advisor client paid advertisement additional [e-mail] it's John Holmer here from.

[John Holmberg]

The Morning Sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house the day after you say the words I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything, won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. The Best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of H's morning sickness. And then another one that was going on yesterday was the. The lady from Love is Blind is now saying she lived a nightmare on the show. Because I didn't know this. Love is Blind wasn't a scientific lineup. They went again through Instagram pages, the producers of the show, and found these desperate for attention people and said, and. And messaged him and said, would you be interested in being on TV on the show? We've got an idea. Oh, sure. And so it was Love is Blind, which is the one where you're basically locked in a room with someone you've never met before and you're supposed to be. It's called a showmance. And they're like, this is the one we chose for you. Well, evidently there was a heavy interview process beforehand. They take your id, your passport, your credit cards, and they lock in a hotel room and then they assign you another guy. Then you're supposed to hit it off and stuff. Well, this girl's like, oh, it's terrible. Despite all the interviews and vetting and everything else, the dude she got teamed up with was a methamphetamine addict. But isn't that also the risk you take with Love is Blind? Yeah, yeah. Like when it's all based on the idea of like a stranger who you have no idea anything about is gonna get stuffed in a room with you for a few days and you're supposed to either work it out or not, and you run the risk that this dude's nuts.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they look at the Bachelor and.

[John Holmberg]

Stuff like that, and they're expecting Jason Momoa to be like, as soon as they turn the lights on, it's him. Exactly. And that's what they're hoping for. And that. And the whole reason the show's a thing is because when the lights come on and they actually do reveal what the other person looks like, the reaction shot is what the show shows about. Yeah, like me, I think he's great. And I just really. And then the thing comes on.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like.

[John Holmberg]

It said. The first night of production, the staff seized the woman's phone, passport, driver's license. She claimed in legal filings they kept her locked in a hotel room and unable to leave without a wrangler from the show accompanying her, she wound up in a so called showmance with a guy named Carter Wall, who got a spot on the series the same way. He was an Instagram guy. He's pretty decent looking. He has allegedly had no job, job, had no money, was homeless, a little Bit violent and completely addicted to amphetamines and alcohol. And they said, delirium tv. The show's producers were like, man, we do it thorough. Well, that's what drug addicts do. They lie and they manipulate and they're crafty. And he was getting a free room and time on TV and food. And he's homeless and broke. This was. He's gonna say anything you wanted to hear.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, how the hell is he homeless and broke?

[John Holmberg]

But he has for Instagram. I haven't figured that out. Okay, there's a bunch of. Of that going on. There was a guy on.

[Brady Bogan]

To what degree?

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

The guy could have been, you know, his family could be loaded and he's been cut off.

[John Holmberg]

Who knows? It doesn't really matter because you're right if you're homeless and you've got an Instagram.

[Brady Bogan]

But he knew how to play the game, obviously.

[John Holmberg]

This one says the. The vetting process by the show is very high, so they don't know how he got through. Well, he lied. And then she said she was forced to spend long stretches of time alone with this guy who abusive on and off, off camera. Once the filming wrapped, she ended her relationship with wall. She broke up with the guy because she had to. And then was like, made some remarks about love is blind. Well, love is blind. The show hadn't aired yet, so they're suing her for $5 million because she had a. An NDA saying, you're not going to talk about the show until it airs. She made 8,000 bucks for the show. I love love when attention get exactly what they deserve. And now this. The show's like, well, you signed an NDA. Well, I didn't know. You're gonna put me in a room with that? All right, you're right. We didn't know that either. But that was kind of a risk it took. And you agreed not to talk. Five million dollar penalty. So she's probably gonna get ruined, which is great. She highly recommends no one does this again. I highly recommend you don't let like Brady come to your and house. I want to lock you in a room with a guy you've never met before and see if it works. If you say yes to that, well, sorry, lady, Anything can happen after that, especially if Brett does it. There's a guy I need you to sit with for a couple of days. Give me your passport, your ID and your telephone. Okay, what's the worst that can happen? Something called Delirium. TV supposedly vetted the guy so it can't Be bad. It's of course it's bad bad being locked in a room with anybody's bad. I wouldn't even share a hotel with Brady because of the snoring and farting and I know him. Imagine if you got. Imagine if you got a hotel room with the outside Matt Lauer lock on the outside of the door and like here's your roommate and it's Brady. How you doing? Oh no. I'm never gonna sleep a wink. This dude's gonna snore me right out of the window.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's unpacking that big cpap.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot my cpap. So going to be long nights for.

[Brady Bogan]

You for taking your passport, your cpap.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not allowed any electronics. Nothing. Cuz you could manipulate your CPAP into a communications device. Yeah. You're struggling to sleep. I'm going to kill you in your sleep. If you don't choke on your tongue first. I'm going to strangle you. Yeah. You don't get locked in a room with a stranger and expect good things to happen. But these lunatics actually thought love would blossom from that. No.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know how much time they log on that big brother trapped in that room.

[John Holmberg]

When you're trapped in a house you can at least be alone for a.

[Brady Bogan]

Little get to another room.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a quick way to end your relationship with someone you love. Trap yourself in a hotel room with them with no communications and TV for three days. Take. Take your wife in a room for three days and you can't leave. Leave. You're coming out of there with papers. 3 days minimum. Can you imagine? No. Nobody's ever been trapped with someone they love for longer than 72 hours and no outside access to anything and been deeper in love later.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey CO was the closest we came.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Thank God for smartphones during that. Exactly. And total wine. Cuz I was between my phone and the booze. Take away. Take away phone in the booze and we could still leave. Yeah. Now imagine technically like I bet you the Chinese divorce rate was through the moon. Because they were locked in their houses. Because they the doors welded closed. They'd get a shot if they left.

[Brady Bogan]

Those drones remember drones would put a.

[John Holmberg]

Red dot on them. Get back in your house now. Right now. Get back in house. Oh Jesus. I got. She's in there. Drone. I don't care how much your head wife get back in house.

[Brady Bogan]

You call the court it I had six weeks solo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you were alone.

[Brady Bogan]

Cuz you just didn't know then that you Know that runs. Of course I kept testing positive. So Ronnie and Kirby were in that apartment. They were gone. They were gone for six weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine if you were all locked in that room together for six. You'd have killed each other. There's no way you come out of that loving each other more. No way. Human beings aren't built that way. Trapped together for days. Yuck. That's a whole TV show. You're supposed to find love. How did you meet? Oh, we were trapped in a room with no communications or anything for days on end. And you came out of that liking each other? Yep. Never been told. That story's never been told. We have to take little.

[Brady Bogan]

There's some. I mean, there are definitely some people that experience that for sure. But, I mean, we were. Well, not without. No. But when schools weren't meeting, you basically are all three. You know, at one time or another. We were all three at home for a while.

[John Holmberg]

But not trapped in a room.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's what I'm saying. If I said, here's a hotel room. You're not coming out of here. Give me your phone. You think you're coming out of there more in love than ever?

[Brady Bogan]

2,500 square foot is a lot different.

[John Holmberg]

Than a hundred squares. Brady's coming out of there with two black eyes. Kirby's got blood on her knuckles from hitting Daddy all the time. It's all right. She still loves me. And Ronnie's just hanging from a. There's no way.

[Brady Bogan]

And she's taller than you now.

[John Holmberg]

She'd be beating down on you. She'd be hunching down. Nope, that would be a bloodbath. And you and Lisa. Bloodbath you. And you're still in the honeymoon phase. Bloodbath.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Lisa and I talked about it during.

[John Holmberg]

We gotta get out.

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta do something.

[John Holmberg]

Mine would be a pretty decent fight. Yeah. Only ones coming out. Three days in one room. No.

[Brady Bogan]

Didn't you say you surprised her? One time she.

[John Holmberg]

She put my nuts in my stomach. Accidental. I threw up immediately. I've never felt that before. I was fine. I felt really good. Snuck up behind her, tried to pull her towel off while her hairdryer was on. And two fingers pushed both of my balls into a cavern inside my stomach that I didn't know it existed until that moment. And I threw up immediately. It was like a button of puke. Puke flew out of my. And I fell on the floor and my nuts were inside me and I could feel them. My nuts were screaming, help. We're not supposed to be here they were. And I didn't know how to reach in there and get them out. They weren't in that weird thing just waiting for. You know how sometimes they pop up?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Sometimes they go.

[John Holmberg]

They go rogue. And you can push them down. They weren't there. No, they were up that high, but they were somewhere else in the socket. What socket are you talking about? Nobody. Whatever it is.

[Brady Bogan]

That's at least what scummy Dick Douglas described it as.

[John Holmberg]

It is in there. It was in there and I started getting real hot. Like, I went from feeling 100 healthy to feeling like I had just taken like, the biggest dose of chemotherapy of all time. My body, 104 degrees, throwing up. I laid on the ground. Ground for that was just in a hotel room goofing around. We were having fun then. That was 17 years ago. Like, hey, What happened? I don't know. It was horrible. And that was just being in a hotel. You don't like that and you can't. You know, you're going to take dumps and everybody's pooping in the back. Oh, strangers. You and a stranger sharing bathrooms. That's why you always tell somebody, don't marry someone until you live with them.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yes.

[John Holmberg]

And that's 100%, 110%. Do not marry someone until you live with them because you don't know their bathroom habits. First and foremost, you have to make arrangements around that. A lot of times one of the two of you is a hurricane in the bathroom and it's bad news. You just can't do it. But, yeah, trapped in a room with one person for. Without any access to the outside world. And that's a TV show where they expected people to come out of that feeling good about each other. No, she should have known better. Come on. Of course you don't go on TV and say love is blind. Worked. It doesn't work.

[Brady Bogan]

She did know better.

[John Holmberg]

She was looking for the 8k8,000 bucks and more attention for her Instagram. That's what she was thinking. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, she probably got it, though. More than that.

[John Holmberg]

Like, huh?

[Brady Bogan]

Is the winner. It doesn't matter. They all get the same.

[John Holmberg]

Is there a winner or is it just a reveal?

[Brady Bogan]

Not a tournament, a champion?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's just a reveal then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to review. I think everybody gets a certain amount. And then of course, they. They feed the beast by saying they found them on Instagram, saying, hey, you're pretty important. It just feeds their ego going, oh, my God, Instagram. They found me. And Imagine if I had another million followers. And she probably did, but I've never heard of her. And then she still didn't. She won't show her pictures, but she's got big time lawyers and stuff. What's her name? Do we have it P O r C H e or not? Porsche. It's P O C H E. P O C H E oche. Marini R E N E E oche. You said P O R. No P O C H E. Oh geez. It looks like it's Porsche without the are. And maybe she is hot. They put her in there with a meth head and, and said, you guys are in love for three days. And she's like, ah.

[Brady Bogan]

Shouldn't she be doing a little introspection on why she was matched with a meth head?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the thing. She's like, hey, how did he slip through the cracks? I'm like, cuz he's a drug addict. He's a drug addict. They lie to get things done. Oh, she's not hot enough to be a.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no. Is that the dude?

[John Holmberg]

If that's the guy she should do, so what? He's on meth. She'll never get a guy that good looking. No.

[Brady Bogan]

Should thank your lucky stars with that.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like Rachel Dratch from Saturday Night Live with a good filter. That's a meth head. Wow. The billboards lie. That dude's in incredible shape. I was going to say I'm going to start doing meth if that's what you get out of it. I mean. And there she is, of course, like every girl who says, don't look at me, don't look at me with her ass out pointing it at the camera. Stop paying attention to me for sexual reasons. Here's my ass. Yeah, it's okay. It's nothing special.

[Brady Bogan]

The beer. It's a beer goggle maybe.

[John Holmberg]

What would the meth. What did the meth head say at the end? I didn't like her. She looks a little bit like she might have pro Jerry. Yeah, methy's probably like she wasn't hot.

[Brady Bogan]

Man, that filter was doing some work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, even the meth didn't make her hot.

[Brady Bogan]

How about that guy? You find out he wasn't even a meth head? Yeah, he was labeled that.

[John Holmberg]

He pretended to be a meth head to get away from her. She's trying on wedding dresses. Well, that's how it ends is that you get married like blind.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you go on that show, you take that risk. Yeah, that the guy isn't for you. And it's completely haywire. In fact, I think that's a pretty good show. One of the people you're. One of the people you're about to get matched up with is a homeless drug addict. It's kind of Joe Millionaire.

[Brady Bogan]

Absolutely. Producers look for that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they look good story. She loves being in a bikini. And evidently she needed that eight grand to put in new cans because. Yeah, they're. If she wants a good free trip to.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet it's a nose job, too.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus, man, I should have gave her 16.

[Brady Bogan]

Get the nose fixed.

[John Holmberg]

So what you guys are saying is love. Not blind at all. Very, very sighted. Obviously the meth couldn't even work to get past that thing. Yeah. You didn't have meth goggles.

[Brady Bogan]

Notice her pictures are all from far away.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know what's going. She's okay. She's not that great. Little judgy, if you ask me. She should have given that guy a chance. He looks great. How many followers?

[Brady Bogan]

She's down 5 million.

[John Holmberg]

She's got 41,000. She's not yet released from the show. Brady's right now. She's down $5 million.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But now look.

[Brady Bogan]

But look.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, she. She owns it. It's. It's her leading thing that she was on season five of Love is Blind. She still puts it on her page.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, right here.

[John Holmberg]

And she allows them, man. Merry effing holidays from the Big red Radio's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Dick Toledo. And this best stuff content is brought to you by our friends at new AC unit D. If you've got AC issues, you need new AC unit.com, where you can save thousands. Save time by buying [e-mail]. you could probably promote that, even though it's not out.

[John Holmberg]

If I was suing KUPD for, you know, ruining my life, the last thing I do is go. And I was on KUPD for a long time.

[Brady Bogan]

That's great.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's out.

[Brady Bogan]

She just haven't gotten to it.

[John Holmberg]

I'd also probably cancel my butthole pictures on Instagram until the lawsuits straightened out, but she's not doing that either. I know I'm in this awful lawsuit about how poorly I was treated, but here's a shot of my butthole on the beat.

[Brady Bogan]

Great promotion for the show right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I don't even know if it's new or old or whatever. I'm still not watching that. That's just sick. People being.

[Brady Bogan]

When you first started talking about it. I thought it was that other one that. Where they're completely naked.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the naked ones. Was that naked and afraid or something? No, no. This one is a dating show where they just kind of. They show everything but your head.

[Brady Bogan]

You get four different. You get four women or four men and you rate them. You go.

[John Holmberg]

It's the dating game with no clothes.

[Brady Bogan]

Check out the legs. Midsection. It's full.

[John Holmberg]

And you never see their face. And you ask them a few questions and then. And they show most of their body.

[Brady Bogan]

They do like, what, a six inch?

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no. There's nothing like. Especially the ones that are bisexual. So they get a little bit of everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, the gay guys. Yeah. The best one was the gay guys because the one dude had a hog the size of my. Yeah. Torso.

[Brady Bogan]

One guy had the elephant and it was the trunk. Was that his tattoo?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. The best part was there was two at the end and the gay guy and one of them had a huge hog. And then the guy that chose him had sort of like, what? Mine is just like, off the rack and they're standing next to each other. Well, that's what I thought. But evidently the guy with the hog has seen so much blood and pain from what he's done that he won't put himself through it. So he chose a much smaller unit. And he's like, this will do. Like, he's driving a compact. And this other dude's got a canyone arrow that. It was a beast of a uncut just. And I think it had, like, jewelry hanging off of it. And the little guy was like, fine by me. Tear me up with that thing. I'm like, I know who. I know who's wearing the pants in that family. And it isn't old six incher over here. Doctor 12 is going in.

[Brady Bogan]

So they just put them up in.

[John Holmberg]

A lineup like this? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. They're in cages like dolls. And their dorks are out. And then. But that's at the end. Normally you don't see their faces. Basic base it off of their bodies. And there's dad bodies.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And there's a couple that don't get chosen like. Right. You get eliminated just off the one or two reviews. Like legs and midsections. Action.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And they show the good ones, but there's not a lot of good ones.

[Brady Bogan]

Not a lot.

[John Holmberg]

What's that show called? Naked Attraction. That's right. Negative. And then the. I remember that too. When they revealed the one dude had a prosthetic leg. It's weird. I watched an episode too like this, and the worst part is, is that nobody was.

[Brady Bogan]

That host lady's a little weird, too.

[John Holmberg]

The whole thing was weird.

[Brady Bogan]

She gets a little too into the contestants. What do you think of his willy?

[John Holmberg]

Right. Well, I mean, you know, it's actually a really good question. What are you thinking about the dick? Now that you've seen it, do you think you would still be. How many dates would you have gone on still had the reveal happened? Like, if you got to see their genitals first? I don't think I'd have ever been on a date in my life if the woman got to see my dick first.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

See, get to see my dick first. Be like, next. I'd have been Captain swipe Left if. If you had to reveal your penis first. No, I wouldn't be on a single date. There wouldn't have been one.

[Brady Bogan]

Guys, is there a heater in this?

[John Holmberg]

Can we do something about it?

[Brady Bogan]

Warm it up a little bit?

[John Holmberg]

Can you imagine before the reveal, like, how you'd have been pulling? I'd have had a cinder block tied to it.

[Brady Bogan]

Like shrinkage.

[John Holmberg]

Come on show. Do a little showing. Why is the guy half hard? Oh, he's been tugging on it trying to. It's bad. Next. I wouldn't. I don't think one person would have ever still gone out with me had I shown them that first. Which is why I'm always baffled at hearing the stories about dudes who just whip out.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

They lead with it. Like, how in the world. Like, that would be the.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a lot of that still.

[John Holmberg]

That is a. I guarantee you that's a deal breaker the second someone lays eyes on mine. I've never gotten the oh, wow reaction. Mine is usually a shoulder shrug. We're like, well, we're this far. Might as well. Might as well finish that thing off. Like, once it's out, it's like, ah, it'll do. Like, nothing. I, I, I drive a Honda Accord. That's what this thing is. A to B. Good mileage.

[Brady Bogan]

Reliable.

[John Holmberg]

Reliable. It wakes up when it needs to. Very rarely shop very often. It's a good, comfortable. You're not. Not getting any bells and whistles with it. It's got a horn. It's got a nice am, fm, maybe a cassette deck. We're not rolling, you know, Bluetooth. Old reliable. It's a good one. Not the six, either. It's the very reliable, you know, four.

[Brady Bogan]

This guy wants to see Bulbul on Naked Attraction.

[John Holmberg]

It Would have it just be all legs. Like, what is going on?

[Brady Bogan]

When does he end the NBA version?

[John Holmberg]

NBA? Well, they. But I mean, that's the thing. It's like if we did naked attraction in this room. I don't even know what. I can't imagine anybody still talking to me if they saw my penis.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you like smart cars?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because I. I like little things. You like little strange, bubbly things? Do you like those? Because I have one of those.

[Brady Bogan]

We always wonder how quickly things take a political turn.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks a lot, Obama.

[Brady Bogan]

John, Meth addicts always have an Obama phone brought and paid for by everyone. You know that, right?

[John Holmberg]

It was an Obama thing. America. Way to go, Obama. Way to ruin that stupid love is blind show.

[Brady Bogan]

John, isn't what you're talking about simply being horny?

[John Holmberg]

The beer goggles thing? Yeah, it is. Yeah. It just makes you hornier. And they go and make it attraction, too. I'm trying to think. I. I would love someday to have the confidence to go. I. It just doesn't even. It registers in my mind as. Imagine standing on Venus to think that my brain would ever say, she doesn't like you now, but wait till she sees your dick. It just. My brain just doesn't function. It's just not a thing. It's like it doesn't exist. It is, John. Imagine a million dollars in pennies is easier for me than thinking she doesn't. She doesn't really care for me right now. But wait till I whip this thing out. It'll change everything.

[Brady Bogan]

Does it work the other way? Like, oh, I wait until he sees.

[John Holmberg]

The big Montana in the flip side. Like a woman who's carrying.

[Brady Bogan]

Worried about that. Maybe that's why they're so concerned.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's carrying the. The joke cigar. Turn the lights out and she's beautiful. But then she pulls that. That Oscar fish is hanging off the edge of her middle. Yeah. Mud cat.

[Brady Bogan]

The arbecue.

[John Holmberg]

That would wreck every y. Oh, it looks like somebody dropped a bunch of Mongolian barbecue on that lady's lap.

[Brady Bogan]

Excuse me.

[John Holmberg]

YC and are there women out there that go, oh, this is going really good. Wait, at least seize my big Montana. Like today.

[Brady Bogan]

I hope you like cheesesteaks.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know if women are. Have a lack of confidence about their.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Like the ones who have wrecked.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady always talks about the labiaplasty.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it is a thing because. So they recognize that. And Mom, I guess that's true. You just don't. We just don't put that pressure on Them, you know, and then you.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, not that you wanted it, but years ago you brought up the scro. Scrotoplasty.

[John Holmberg]

Scrotoplasty is a thing because your balls hang in the water. There's a actual functional reason to get that taken care of.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. That's not cosmetic. Right.

[John Holmberg]

Because you're. I have it. But at a certain age, for whatever reason, your balls start huck finning around on the turds, like touching one. Like if you don't. If you forget to hook them and you drop a log down there, all of a sudden he's going down the Mrs. Sip with two friends. It's like, what is going on?

[Brady Bogan]

It's happened in this room. The one time I didn't want to laugh, but you came in and sat down.

[John Holmberg]

I've sat on my ball several times. I've done that too. Lasted for getting in the car. It's horrible. There's no worse feeling in the world than being in your late 30s and sitting on a toilet going, I'm wet. What happened? And then I've got to hook him to keep him out of the drink. Thank God for bid. You're doing the sale. It's a pinky hook. I gotta move. Just lift it up a little. It just now just gets it up there a little bit. Just kind of. It's right before the. Right before the tea goes in the water.

[Brady Bogan]

Hammock or something.

[John Holmberg]

And it isn't attractive. It's not something I'm bragging about. Trust me. And it isn't. Cuz my balls are so big. It isn't. There's nothing about. It's just a ton of extra skin down there. I don't understand where came from.

[Brady Bogan]

Thanks, Alvar.

[John Holmberg]

It's Alvar. It's my grandpa. I guarantee you that dude was swimming in his own. There's nothing worse.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, he probably had an outhouse.

[John Holmberg]

I don't. They had one bathroom. Everybody shared it. It was awful. Huge house. Like one bathroom. Anyway. Sorry. Yeah. If your balls are in the water, scrotoplasty makes sense. If you're labia in the water, move on.

[Brady Bogan]

Lip dip.

[John Holmberg]

Make a. Make a purse out of that. Cut all of that off, put a couple of GS on the side of it and some lady will buy that. It's out of control. Now it's John Holmberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Home Group and doughopkins.com. i got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online at Doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins One. It's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa. The new location is your East Valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain Giant Norco. And of course Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes. Action Ride shop now with two locations, the brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD. It is time for Brady to give you all the entertaining news he knows. We call this the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by reactdefense.com that's the home of tactical black self defense training. And get in on that thing like I've been doing for the last, if you can believe it, seven going on eight years. Although I've been lacking the last month because of my stupid schedule, I got to get back in there, start working. I love it and I miss it. And you get in there and you do all the cardio and all the work. You have fun with a lot of fun people who are there to help you. We're actually all training each other in the classes to be the same because the more of us out there means the less chances the wolves have of attacking the flock. That's a weird way to put it, but it's true. A bunch of sheep walking around, they're staring at their phones all the time. Bad guys look at that, they see it and they attack. You don't want to always walk around feeling threatened, but when you're kind of trained a little bit, you feel a whole lot less threatened because you got something in your pocket that makes you feel a little bit stronger, a little bit more confident and bad Guys hate confidence. Boy, do they ever get better at being you. For 89. For a month of training. That is amazing. And it's the best in the world, that's for sure. Celebrating 25 beautiful years. It's reactdefense.com. the home of tactical Black Braid. Entertain me.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, on Friday, before we signed off, we found out that David Soul from Starskin Hutch passed away.

[John Holmberg]

Very deaf.

[Brady Bogan]

But not too much longer after that, another celebrity dropped.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brady Bogan]

Actress Cindy Morgan. Oh, Lacey Underall.

[John Holmberg]

This is a big one.

[Brady Bogan]

Caddyshack. She was 69. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Do you remember Lacey Underall from Caddyshack? You don't? No, no.

[Brady Bogan]

By name.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know Caddyshack. I know Caddyshack, but she's the blonde. Lacy Underall. Oh, oh, okay. You don't know. Hang on.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember the movie?

[John Holmberg]

Do you remember Tron?

[Brady Bogan]

Tron? The movie.

[John Holmberg]

Lacy Underall. Oh, yeah, yeah. She was the one that wanted to smoke weed with Spalding. And how. What was his weed? Brett? Because some Negroes gave it to him. That's exactly right. That's why he liked good stuff. I got it from a Negro. That was the seventies. It was great. Lacy Underall showed her boobs in that and I watched. Great. They were fantastic. 70s boobs. Beautiful lady. Was she naked with Chevy chasing that when he was pouring oil all over? Danny. Danny. That's right. That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought she might have went into the pool. Into Chevy's pool.

[John Holmberg]

She did, but you didn't really get to see much. It was just a quick. When she's in a golf shirt. Golf shirt. Ah, Caddyshack. Lacy Underall is gone.

[Brady Bogan]

So long.

[John Holmberg]

Lacy. Is that her? In later years. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't know she was in Falcon Crest too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Danny. Doesn't work out for any of them, does it? The horrors of aging. Wow, look at that. I'm sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

Sylvester Stallone addressed the question, who would win in a fight, Rocky or Rambo? And he did his response on Instagram.

[John Holmberg]

I know the answer to this.

[Brady Bogan]

Rambo, he went back and forth.

[John Holmberg]

Rambo wins this hands down.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got no rules.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In a boxing ring, Rambo sanctioned, killed.

[Brady Bogan]

But if those fought, if Rocky could land five shots.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

And get it done, that's the only chance he has. Because once it goes to the ground and once you take out the boxing and it goes to the street, sure. There's no self defense training.

[John Holmberg]

He kicked the hell out of Tommy Gunn. So. Yeah. On the street in the street. In the boxing. And the worst Rocky ever. Without question. Terrible Rocky. But Rambo would destroy him.

[Brady Bogan]

Rocky's eyes and gouges them out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. Look, you put him in a ring with rules and Rambo's gonna get killed. The two just fight in a bar. Rambo's gonna have his ass. Rambo took out full army. Oh, yeah. One on one with Rocky the heavyweight champ. Come on. Floyd Mayweather went to jail and got scared.

[Brady Bogan]

It surprised me how much Rocky or how much Sylvester Sloan said Rocky has a chance.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's like having his kids fight. You can't. Rambo would slaughter Rocky in a fight.

[Brady Bogan]

It looks like Beetlejuice 2 is happening. Brad Pitt's company, Plan B is now involved. And is Alex Baldwin gonna be in it, filming early this summer.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody should have took the Plan B pill before green lighting that. I know exactly how to get rid of Beetlejuice. Give me the gun. So far, Keaton's in, Baldwin's in.

[Brady Bogan]

Say Baldwin Ryder is in two. Tim Burton is back directing. Nothing about Baldwin.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Baldwin and Gina Davis have to be in. I know they kind of died in the first one, but they can come back.

[Brady Bogan]

They said they're gunning to get Alec back in the.

[John Holmberg]

I'll. I'll. I'll do Beetlejuice too, but I have to shake the rust off. Nice. Thank you. Thank you. Very proud of that one.

[Brady Bogan]

Albums that turned 40 this year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this hurts.

[Brady Bogan]

1984. Van Halen.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. That's runaway, right? Yeah, that's the first one. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Heartbeat City. The Cars. Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen. Ride the Lightning. Metallica.

[John Holmberg]

Another one turning 40 on the couch. Jen Gardner expires this year. When's your birthday? January. What? Oh, it's like two weeks, you're done. Then you start going lacy. Underall the later years, just go to Tahoe, Ski. You hit an age this year that unfortunately for women, and I don't think this is fair, people start saying this to you, and I've noticed this. You look great for your age. They add in your age at the end. They don't modify.

[Brady Bogan]

You look brave.

[John Holmberg]

You look beautiful. Yeah. I can't believe you're still wearing. That is a thing people will say. That is daring. That 40 is a tough one for Purple Rain.

[Brady Bogan]

Prince.

[John Holmberg]

That's 40.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

The unforgettable fire. You too. And your guy, Reckless Brian Adams.

[John Holmberg]

And then you think again, like I do this time. Meld thing in My head all the time. 40 years ago. Those albums came out in 1940. 1984. If we did this list, it was 1944. Glenn Miller's greatest. The Ink Spots. Go get them. The. The over there.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe a Rolling Stones album.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They might have been around still, but yeah, how about that? 44.

[Brady Bogan]

So imagine this back when David Lee Roth.

[John Holmberg]

She's an actress.

[Brady Bogan]

When David Lee Roth left Van Halen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of people were not real happy that Sammy Hagar was the replacement.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I was one. I was too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. But when that happened, Eddie and Valerie Bertinelli went to a Hall and Oates show and they went backstage after the show and asked Eddie asked Daryl Hall.

[John Holmberg]

Darrell hall to do it.

[Brady Bogan]

You want to join Van Halen? And he's like, yes. At first I was like, what? And then he was asking and I thought he was half joking, but I think he was serious and I really do believe he was serious.

[John Holmberg]

The guy. Can I sing anything?

[Brady Bogan]

Seriously?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But I went, I think I've got my own stuff going on. It just.

[John Holmberg]

He made the smart move. But yeah, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

It would have the same reaction as Sammy Hay.

[John Holmberg]

100%, probably worse. But now I have to hear Daryl hall sing. Even Love Walks In. I think it would have changed the Van Halen to be like, all right, Daryl Hall's our new lead singer. Some of these love songs make sense now.

[Brady Bogan]

Why wouldn't they have Eddie and Daryl's house back in the day?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that would have been great.

[Brady Bogan]

That then they could have done a couple.

[John Holmberg]

I want to hear Daryl hall sing a couple Van Halen songs because he can sing anything. Is Daryl's house still on? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't watched forever. I don't think so either. But it's worth revisiting. A few of them are just. It's mind blowingly excellent musicianship.

[Brady Bogan]

I played this for you this morning. The oldest recorded country song was originally 1927. They found a new one that dates back to 1891. A guy named Louis Vasnier in New Orleans. Song's called Thompson's Old Gray Mule.

[John Holmberg]

Is it terrible?

[Brady Bogan]

The recording's pretty bad, but you can figure out the song.

[John Holmberg]

Let's hear. Oh no, this is. This is the original country music. Still a. More to me it's still there now. What did you have? A Toledo? The original. The very first country song ever recorded. That sounds like every song recorded in the teens and twenties.

[Brady Bogan]

Better.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz I can't understand it.

[Brady Bogan]

1891 I don't believe that.

[John Holmberg]

That's enough. Oh, gee. Sorry. First recording ever. That's what they all sound like. Now. Here's a little number I recorded yesterday. It's a country song. I call it country because it's from the country. Here we go. There you go. Enjoy it. I don't understand that. Why are we even listening to that stuff and then trying to say. And it's because they're trying to make it racial.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Because the guy in 1927.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So they're saying he invented country music, but we're only getting it off that.

[Brady Bogan]

Jimmy Rogers and the Carter Family.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he did, but every song back then sounded just like that. You can't say it invented anything. And I don't want to blame black people for country music. It's the worst invention ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Someone put up the. The money that the stat of the cast from the wizard of Oz made. The original wizard of Oz, Judy Garland.

[John Holmberg]

What they made initially.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

$12,000.

[Brady Bogan]

She made 9, 600, which would be about 218,000 today.

[John Holmberg]

Still nothing. That's a Kenny Dillingham.

[Brady Bogan]

Any residuals on that?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I want to know. Did they get paid for the years and years and years that it got?

[Brady Bogan]

Was she doing wizard con in the 50s? Yeah. I'm not sure if they had.

[John Holmberg]

No. Unless those were in the deep bars.

[Brady Bogan]

Margaret Hamilton, who played the Wicked Witch of the west, made 21,000, which would be 476,000 today.

[John Holmberg]

And she just kept showing up.

[Brady Bogan]

She was a Broadway star. And she also suffered burns from filming a scene with fire. The studio kept her on for six more weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. I remember in the 70s when she'd show up and stuff, like do coffee. Remember the Mr. Coffee commercial or the Folgers? She was. She was in. She was a Folger commercial. Yeah. The Wicked Witch. Without her makeup. When you're a kid and the only thing you know her from is that. And then she shows up and you recognize her immediately as a lady that steals dogs. How about a little coffee? There's that Folger. I start my day with it.

[Brady Bogan]

The scarecrow made 72 grand. Around 1.63 in today's money.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge.

[Brady Bogan]

He was already a star. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Say, hey, man. Morton. Judy Garland. Judy Garland was 19. Nobody knew who she was.

[Brady Bogan]

Jack Haley.

[John Holmberg]

She was actually 17, I think, when they filmed it. Totally illegal. There's. There's Margaret Hamilton and the Folgers. The only kind I sell. Horrifying. I think it tastes best. This is good. Good to the last job.

[Brady Bogan]

That Smaxwell House is always good.

[John Holmberg]

Weren't you that wacky witch? You're that wacky witch in that acid trip movie. Oh, damn.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the witch. She's in the corner of the store.

[John Holmberg]

Of a thing sewing. Hi. Hello. Would you like some coffee?

[Brady Bogan]

Here you can make good coffee as easy as I can.

[John Holmberg]

Changes everything.

[Brady Bogan]

Cora.

[John Holmberg]

Her coffee's been great with Maxwell House. Something old really can beat something new.

[Brady Bogan]

Like they say, good to the last drop. So they came in. Was that days later? Because the opening.

[John Holmberg]

Same clothes. They had different clothes.

[Brady Bogan]

And she was selling seeds. She had seeds.

[John Holmberg]

There they are again. It looks different clothes. This. This black couple. Can't get enough of that witch's coffee.

[Brady Bogan]

See the seeds?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's selling flowers.

[Brady Bogan]

And then the next one they come in. She rearranged everything.

[John Holmberg]

This is good. He's not wrong. The seeds are still there. But the desk is different. As soon as I can. Cora. Her coffee's been great. Something old really can beat something new.

[Brady Bogan]

Like they say, good to the last drop.

[John Holmberg]

Sold on my sea.

[Brady Bogan]

Was that a photo of Teddy Roosevelt too?

[John Holmberg]

Because that was what she remembered as the good old days.

[Brady Bogan]

He was a rough rider.

[John Holmberg]

That's when this country mattered. Back before you people could come in and sully my store asking for coffee. You're that crazy green bitch. That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot going on in that photo. That is Teddy.

[John Holmberg]

That's Teddy Roosevelt. She is a longing loving photo of President Teddy Roosevelt on wall. Nobody has that. This was when this country mattered. And the right people weren't allowed to be in public like you two. Some coffee. Don't take any coffee from that crazy green. You're gonna poison us.

[Brady Bogan]

The best was the second follow up commercial. They splashed water on it, melting.

[John Holmberg]

What a world. Teddy wouldn't have seen to this. There she is again. Simple adjustment. Cara. That clock's as old as day.

[Brady Bogan]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

You stick with. Is that David? Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Not that one.

[John Holmberg]

My mild. Ought to taste this coffee.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Maxwell House.

[John Holmberg]

I think it tastes best.

[Brady Bogan]

There's been a crime. Good Only csi.

[John Holmberg]

Murder only kind. Fair enough. When something works, you stick with it. That's the World's Sexiest Man. 1990. You don't suppose he boned the witch, do you? That's crazy. What a weird thing that is. But I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got his overalls on.

[John Holmberg]

You remind me of Teddy Roosevelt. Everyone does.

[Brady Bogan]

You like it? Big reds. He's good.

[John Holmberg]

I'm getting a picture of Teddy Roosevelt and hanging my ass. Then people come over. What's this? When this place mattered, back when America was a thing, you know who he pardoned? Nobody. Nobody. Didn't have to. He kept law and order. Ask David Caruso. He'll tell you. It's out of control.

[Brady Bogan]

Now.

[John Holmberg]

It'S John Holmberg here along with Brett Vesely from the Morning Sickness to tell you about Action Ride Shop. John, we always rave about Action Ride Shop because of the awesome selection of bikes and bike accessories. But what about being a couple of snow bunnies this year? Are you saying you want to take advantage of Action Ride Shop skis and snowboards? Why not? Josh and the boys got us into mountain biking. You know what, Brett? Let's do it at Shop. You can get all your ski and snowboard needs covered for the upcoming winter season. Head to Action Ride Shop on Gilbert Road just north of the 60 or their new store on Power Road at McDowell actionbrideshop.com hey everybody, it's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. AZ.com Every week I head over to Lost Our Home Pet Rescue and I meet a brand new, beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Lost Our Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online. Lost our home.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section.