Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 12-24-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY

Date: December 24, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is fueled by the usual irreverent banter, hot takes, and a parade of bizarre stories. The crew—Holmberg, Brady, Brett, and Toledo—celebrate the approaching holiday in peak form, discussing everything from the OnlyFans phenomenon to morbid funeral jokes, internet-fueled sexual revolutions, animal mishaps on golf courses, epic pranks, and a deep-dive skewering of country music fans. Festive weirdness abounds, from the AI Brady "Feliz Navidad" debut to reflections on alien invasions and the peculiarities of American culture. The tone is outrageous, poignant, and sometimes just over the line—exactly what listeners expect.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The OnlyFans Phenomenon & Sex Positivity

(Starts ~01:43 | Main discussion 01:43–17:45)

• Holmberg tells a story of a 49-year-old woman making $20k/month on OnlyFans simply by walking around naked in her house.
  • Emphasizes how the age of internet nudity has shifted power to women, with men seen as the “losers” in the naked economy.
  • "College is for ugly people, and the world belongs to the OnlyFans girl with a little confidence." – Holmberg (06:10)
• Brady and Brett banter about what it would mean if their wives did similar.
• Holmberg argues that porn and sexual curiosity have driven societal and technological advancements, making the world “better than ever.”
  • “You have speedy internet. It’s porn, you’re welcome...it has advanced all technology faster than anything else. Our appetite for porn has made all the technology move so much faster.” – Holmberg (09:12)
• Morality, social change, and family implications are all debated in characteristic no-filter style.

Notable Quotes:

• "For $20,000 a month, anonymous strangers get to watch it... Sounds great." – Brett Vesely (15:57)
• "If you’re ugly, go to college." – John Holmberg (17:03)

2. Baby Funerals: Dark Humor Gone Wild

(20:33–32:29)

• The crew awkwardly (and darkly) jokes about baby funerals, with Holmberg questioning the point of holding them.
  • Explores how adult funerals let people reminisce, but baby funerals are just tragic and surreal.
  • “There’s nothing that will lighten the mood at a baby funeral. See that little tiny shoebox?” – Holmberg (21:33)
• The group riff on food served at such events ("all the things he loved: baby carrots, Cheerios on the floor").
• Discussion veers into a critique of funeral customs and awkward social obligations.
• Brady tells a story about attending a wake where Bone Thugs-n-Harmony’s “Crossroads” played.
• Holmberg reflects on history and census practices—babies weren't counted in early censuses because of high mortality rates.

Notable Quotes:

• “Funerals are celebrations of life, but if you only got like a fortnight… This one's a failure.” – Holmberg (30:18)
• "Baby funerals got me spinning. I'm not interested in that." – Holmberg (28:10)

3. Epstein, Stephen Hawking, and Scandal Lists

(31:35–40:32)

• Epstein’s “island guest list” roller-coaster: The boys riff on shocking names, including Stephen Hawking, showing up in court documents.
  • Hawking’s presence prompts a cascade of irreverent jokes about wheelchairs, sex trafficking, and how weird the island’s guest list is.
  • The conversation lampoons royal scandals, Prince Andrew, and public denials.
• Meta-discussion: The team wonders if simply being at the island makes someone guilty, and how people rationalize their connection.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you're 16 and you're on the island and you've been sex trafficked, the one person you don't have to worry about is Stephen Hawking, right?” – Holmberg (34:06)
• "Nothing happens. So everybody else is like, well, I was there with Hawking, but..." – Holmberg (37:07)

4. Tech, Porn, and Societal Progress

(18:08–20:59; Referenced throughout)

• Holmberg explains how the adult industry’s choices dictated home video formats (VHS over Beta, Blu-ray, and so on).
  • Debunking the myth that technology is driven by normal consumer behavior rather than the “appetite for porn.”

Notable Quote:

• “The reason Blu Ray took over for high def… Porn industry decided they were going Blu Ray, so high def lost. Which one will porn choose? That’s the one that’s going to take.” – Holmberg (18:11)

5. Animal Mishaps on the Golf Course

(43:42–53:46)

• Stories of golf balls killing birds, running over rabbits, and turning dead animals into tee markers.
  • Brady gets roasted for "crucifying" a dead rabbit on the green during a previous golf outing.
• Holmberg confesses to accidentally killing a duck with an ice block, recounting how traumatized he felt.
• Recurrent humor about the circle of life, irreverent treatment of animal mishaps.

Memorable Moment:

• “Brady took the rabbit and pulled his little arms apart and pinned them to the grass and then his bottom little arms and pinned those to the grass and put a tee in the middle of his chest with a ball on.” – Holmberg (49:42)

6. AI Brady’s "Feliz Navidad” & Christmas Music Satire

(55:00–62:06)

• “AI Brady” sings "Feliz Navidad," to the horror and delight of the crew and listeners.
• Leads to a critique of the lack of new rock or Christmas music, leaning on decades-old standards.
• Listeners flood in with reactions, noting how the AI sounds “like a Down syndrome cousin doing karaoke.”

Notable Quotes:

• “AI Brady... sounds a little retarded, I’m gonna say.” – Holmberg (60:12)
• "Brady started out strong for Brady, then turned into a cross of Midwestern drunk uncle and a Down syndrome cousin doing karaoke at the reunion." – Holmberg (62:00)

7. Alien Tourism and Kentucky’s Intergalactic Ad

(64:28–74:09)

• Brady reports on Lexington, Kentucky’s effort to beam a tourism ad toward the Trappist-1 solar system.
• Holmberg turns it into a long riff on whether he’d side with Earthlings or aliens in an invasion.
  • "If you have the capability to fly from one solar system to ours, I’m not taking out my 12 gauge and firing away. I’m joining them."
• Discussions of pragmatic surrender, technology gaps, and classic Holmberg/Brady dynamic as Brady insists he’d “assess the technology” before picking a side.

8. Pranks, Trash Dumps, and “Friendship”

(75:09–90:02)

• Brady recounts a college prank: friends dump 50 Christmas trees on his lawn.
  • Holmberg eviscerates him for thinking it was fun and friendly rather than malicious.
  • Brady’s rose-colored view of pranks (even ones harming his dad’s property) is a recurring comedic source.
• The gang compares pranks: 2-foot dildos on cars, toilet papering, and the work of the Jackass crew.
• Debate: When is a prank just hostility disguised as humor?

Notable Quotes:

• “That is rental effort, exertion, and complete hatred to rent two trucks and throw the trucks...they hated you.” – Holmberg (81:46)
• “A prank is sending Mormons to John’s house, not 50 trees in your yard.” – Dick Toledo (89:41)

9. Country Music Fans as “Mentally Challenged”

(93:24–126:16)

• Listener email: Should I rekindle a romance with a woman who now loves country music?
  • Holmberg: “If she’s into Brooks & Dunn now, she’s mentally challenged. That’s illegal.”
  • The crew goes deep into country music subculture, costuming, and musical divides.
  • Repeatedly equates obsessive country fandom with low intelligence and “special needs," in typically brutal satirical style.
• Long riffs follow on wearing costumes in public, music snobbery, and Holmberg’s father’s wardrobe phases.
• Musical interludes: Copenhagen chewing tobacco trilogy, and “Keep Your Hands Off My PBR.”
• Parodies and contrasts of musical fan groups: juggalos (Insane Clown Posse), KISS army, Buffett fans, Raiders fans.

Notable Quotes:

• "Having sex with somebody with brain damage is illegal. That’s all I’m saying." – Holmberg (126:02)
• "You could take my advice. You can take the boot-scootin’ boogie. You have that pulled up good. Don’t." – Holmberg (97:39)

10. Celebrity Wealth, Diamonds, and Absurd Riches

(148:34–154:05)

• Brady brings up Lil Uzi Vert’s $24 million forehead-diamond; Holmberg marvels at how relatively obscure personalities rake in much more than his musical heroes.
• Discussion advances to reality TV stars (Bam Margera’s supposed $45 million net worth).
• The conversation then pivots to buying Chewbacca heads, Hitler’s toilet seat, and wearing sweaty mascot costumes at amusement parks.

11. Typical Entertainment Drill and Final Segments

(144:41–147:30+)

• Celebrity news, with jokes about Tony Bennett’s Alzheimer’s, Lady Gaga, and mispronounced words (“penis” for “pianist”).
• “Would you pet a great white shark?” and goofy hypotheticals, in fun with fan email.
• Jokes about Brady dressing up in Hanna Barbera mascot costumes as a kid entertainer.

12. Listener Interaction & the “Rah Rah Club”

(130:29–142:14)

• Holmberg reads an email accusing him of becoming too elite (like Howard Stern), to which he unabashedly agrees.
• Satire about “commoners” and the privileges of celebrity, including hypothetical contests where “an unfortunate” wins a day in luxury with Holmberg.

Most Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On porn & tech:

  "You have speedy Internet. It’s porn. You’re welcome." – John Holmberg (09:10)

• On OnlyFans:

  "College is for ugly people. And the world belongs to the OnlyFans girl with little confidence." – John Holmberg (06:10)

• On baby funerals:

  "There’s nothing that will lighten the mood at a baby funeral. See that little tiny shoebox?" – John Holmberg (21:33)

• On pranks:

  "That is rental effort, exertion and complete hatred to rent two trucks and throw the trucks. They hated you." – Holmberg (81:46)

• On country music:

  "If she’s in a Brooks & Dunn T shirt, it’s too far…that just might as well have a…she might as well wear a shirt that says IQ48." – Holmberg (97:09)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• OnlyFans/porn & technology: 01:43–17:45
• Dark humor: baby funerals: 20:33–32:29
• Epstein & Stephen Hawking: 31:35–40:32
• Golf animal mishaps/pranks: 43:42–53:46, 75:09–90:02
• AI Brady’s Christmas song: 55:00–62:06
• Alien invasion debate: 64:28–74:09
• Country music diatribe: 93:24–126:16
• Celebrity wealth & mascot days: 148:34–154:05
• Listener elitism & the Rah Rah room: 130:29–142:14

Tone & Language

The episode is a blend of outrageous satire, wild irreverence, and quick-fire banter, mixing in dark or taboo topics as comedic fodder. The crew’s language is candid, sometimes crude, and pulls no punches—regulars expect this razor-edge, nothing-is-sacred environment.

For New Listeners

This episode is a tour de force of the Morning Sickness style—funny, unfiltered discussions about sex, society, death, and the dumbfounding quirks of modern American life. It’s not for the easily offended, but for those who relish rocking the holiday season with brutal honesty, taboo-busting jokes, and the enduring question: why take anything seriously?