12-24-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 12-24-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY

Date: December 24, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness is fueled by the usual irreverent banter, hot takes, and a parade of bizarre stories. The crew—Holmberg, Brady, Brett, and Toledo—celebrate the approaching holiday in peak form, discussing everything from the OnlyFans phenomenon to morbid funeral jokes, internet-fueled sexual revolutions, animal mishaps on golf courses, epic pranks, and a deep-dive skewering of country music fans. Festive weirdness abounds, from the AI Brady "Feliz Navidad" debut to reflections on alien invasions and the peculiarities of American culture. The tone is outrageous, poignant, and sometimes just over the line—exactly what listeners expect.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The OnlyFans Phenomenon & Sex Positivity

(Starts ~01:43 | Main discussion 01:43–17:45)

• Holmberg tells a story of a 49-year-old woman making $20k/month on OnlyFans simply by walking around naked in her house.
  • Emphasizes how the age of internet nudity has shifted power to women, with men seen as the “losers” in the naked economy.
  • "College is for ugly people, and the world belongs to the OnlyFans girl with a little confidence." – Holmberg (06:10)
• Brady and Brett banter about what it would mean if their wives did similar.
• Holmberg argues that porn and sexual curiosity have driven societal and technological advancements, making the world “better than ever.”
  • “You have speedy internet. It’s porn, you’re welcome...it has advanced all technology faster than anything else. Our appetite for porn has made all the technology move so much faster.” – Holmberg (09:12)
• Morality, social change, and family implications are all debated in characteristic no-filter style.

Notable Quotes:

• "For $20,000 a month, anonymous strangers get to watch it... Sounds great." – Brett Vesely (15:57)
• "If you’re ugly, go to college." – John Holmberg (17:03)

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2. Baby Funerals: Dark Humor Gone Wild

(20:33–32:29)

• The crew awkwardly (and darkly) jokes about baby funerals, with Holmberg questioning the point of holding them.
  • Explores how adult funerals let people reminisce, but baby funerals are just tragic and surreal.
  • “There’s nothing that will lighten the mood at a baby funeral. See that little tiny shoebox?” – Holmberg (21:33)
• The group riff on food served at such events ("all the things he loved: baby carrots, Cheerios on the floor").
• Discussion veers into a critique of funeral customs and awkward social obligations.
• Brady tells a story about attending a wake where Bone Thugs-n-Harmony’s “Crossroads” played.
• Holmberg reflects on history and census practices—babies weren't counted in early censuses because of high mortality rates.

Notable Quotes:

• “Funerals are celebrations of life, but if you only got like a fortnight… This one's a failure.” – Holmberg (30:18)
• "Baby funerals got me spinning. I'm not interested in that." – Holmberg (28:10)

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3. Epstein, Stephen Hawking, and Scandal Lists

(31:35–40:32)

• Epstein’s “island guest list” roller-coaster: The boys riff on shocking names, including Stephen Hawking, showing up in court documents.
  • Hawking’s presence prompts a cascade of irreverent jokes about wheelchairs, sex trafficking, and how weird the island’s guest list is.
  • The conversation lampoons royal scandals, Prince Andrew, and public denials.
• Meta-discussion: The team wonders if simply being at the island makes someone guilty, and how people rationalize their connection.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you're 16 and you're on the island and you've been sex trafficked, the one person you don't have to worry about is Stephen Hawking, right?” – Holmberg (34:06)
• "Nothing happens. So everybody else is like, well, I was there with Hawking, but..." – Holmberg (37:07)

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4. Tech, Porn, and Societal Progress

(18:08–20:59; Referenced throughout)

• Holmberg explains how the adult industry’s choices dictated home video formats (VHS over Beta, Blu-ray, and so on).
  • Debunking the myth that technology is driven by normal consumer behavior rather than the “appetite for porn.”

Notable Quote:

• “The reason Blu Ray took over for high def… Porn industry decided they were going Blu Ray, so high def lost. Which one will porn choose? That’s the one that’s going to take.” – Holmberg (18:11)

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5. Animal Mishaps on the Golf Course

(43:42–53:46)

• Stories of golf balls killing birds, running over rabbits, and turning dead animals into tee markers.
  • Brady gets roasted for "crucifying" a dead rabbit on the green during a previous golf outing.
• Holmberg confesses to accidentally killing a duck with an ice block, recounting how traumatized he felt.
• Recurrent humor about the circle of life, irreverent treatment of animal mishaps.

Memorable Moment:

• “Brady took the rabbit and pulled his little arms apart and pinned them to the grass and then his bottom little arms and pinned those to the grass and put a tee in the middle of his chest with a ball on.” – Holmberg (49:42)

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6. AI Brady’s "Feliz Navidad” & Christmas Music Satire

(55:00–62:06)

• “AI Brady” sings "Feliz Navidad," to the horror and delight of the crew and listeners.
• Leads to a critique of the lack of new rock or Christmas music, leaning on decades-old standards.
• Listeners flood in with reactions, noting how the AI sounds “like a Down syndrome cousin doing karaoke.”

Notable Quotes:

• “AI Brady... sounds a little retarded, I’m gonna say.” – Holmberg (60:12)
• "Brady started out strong for Brady, then turned into a cross of Midwestern drunk uncle and a Down syndrome cousin doing karaoke at the reunion." – Holmberg (62:00)

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7. Alien Tourism and Kentucky’s Intergalactic Ad

(64:28–74:09)

• Brady reports on Lexington, Kentucky’s effort to beam a tourism ad toward the Trappist-1 solar system.
• Holmberg turns it into a long riff on whether he’d side with Earthlings or aliens in an invasion.
  • "If you have the capability to fly from one solar system to ours, I’m not taking out my 12 gauge and firing away. I’m joining them."
• Discussions of pragmatic surrender, technology gaps, and classic Holmberg/Brady dynamic as Brady insists he’d “assess the technology” before picking a side.

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8. Pranks, Trash Dumps, and “Friendship”

(75:09–90:02)

• Brady recounts a college prank: friends dump 50 Christmas trees on his lawn.
  • Holmberg eviscerates him for thinking it was fun and friendly rather than malicious.
  • Brady’s rose-colored view of pranks (even ones harming his dad’s property) is a recurring comedic source.
• The gang compares pranks: 2-foot dildos on cars, toilet papering, and the work of the Jackass crew.
• Debate: When is a prank just hostility disguised as humor?

Notable Quotes:

• “That is rental effort, exertion, and complete hatred to rent two trucks and throw the trucks...they hated you.” – Holmberg (81:46)
• “A prank is sending Mormons to John’s house, not 50 trees in your yard.” – Dick Toledo (89:41)

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9. Country Music Fans as “Mentally Challenged”

(93:24–126:16)

• Listener email: Should I rekindle a romance with a woman who now loves country music?
  • Holmberg: “If she’s into Brooks & Dunn now, she’s mentally challenged. That’s illegal.”
  • The crew goes deep into country music subculture, costuming, and musical divides.
  • Repeatedly equates obsessive country fandom with low intelligence and “special needs," in typically brutal satirical style.
• Long riffs follow on wearing costumes in public, music snobbery, and Holmberg’s father’s wardrobe phases.
• Musical interludes: Copenhagen chewing tobacco trilogy, and “Keep Your Hands Off My PBR.”
• Parodies and contrasts of musical fan groups: juggalos (Insane Clown Posse), KISS army, Buffett fans, Raiders fans.

Notable Quotes:

• "Having sex with somebody with brain damage is illegal. That’s all I’m saying." – Holmberg (126:02)
• "You could take my advice. You can take the boot-scootin’ boogie. You have that pulled up good. Don’t." – Holmberg (97:39)

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10. Celebrity Wealth, Diamonds, and Absurd Riches

(148:34–154:05)

• Brady brings up Lil Uzi Vert’s $24 million forehead-diamond; Holmberg marvels at how relatively obscure personalities rake in much more than his musical heroes.
• Discussion advances to reality TV stars (Bam Margera’s supposed $45 million net worth).
• The conversation then pivots to buying Chewbacca heads, Hitler’s toilet seat, and wearing sweaty mascot costumes at amusement parks.

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11. Typical Entertainment Drill and Final Segments

(144:41–147:30+)

• Celebrity news, with jokes about Tony Bennett’s Alzheimer’s, Lady Gaga, and mispronounced words (“penis” for “pianist”).
• “Would you pet a great white shark?” and goofy hypotheticals, in fun with fan email.
• Jokes about Brady dressing up in Hanna Barbera mascot costumes as a kid entertainer.

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12. Listener Interaction & the “Rah Rah Club”

(130:29–142:14)

• Holmberg reads an email accusing him of becoming too elite (like Howard Stern), to which he unabashedly agrees.
• Satire about “commoners” and the privileges of celebrity, including hypothetical contests where “an unfortunate” wins a day in luxury with Holmberg.

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Most Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On porn & tech:

  "You have speedy Internet. It’s porn. You’re welcome." – John Holmberg (09:10)

• On OnlyFans:

  "College is for ugly people. And the world belongs to the OnlyFans girl with little confidence." – John Holmberg (06:10)

• On baby funerals:

  "There’s nothing that will lighten the mood at a baby funeral. See that little tiny shoebox?" – John Holmberg (21:33)

• On pranks:

  "That is rental effort, exertion and complete hatred to rent two trucks and throw the trucks. They hated you." – Holmberg (81:46)

• On country music:

  "If she’s in a Brooks & Dunn T shirt, it’s too far…that just might as well have a…she might as well wear a shirt that says IQ48." – Holmberg (97:09)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• OnlyFans/porn & technology: 01:43–17:45
• Dark humor: baby funerals: 20:33–32:29
• Epstein & Stephen Hawking: 31:35–40:32
• Golf animal mishaps/pranks: 43:42–53:46, 75:09–90:02
• AI Brady’s Christmas song: 55:00–62:06
• Alien invasion debate: 64:28–74:09
• Country music diatribe: 93:24–126:16
• Celebrity wealth & mascot days: 148:34–154:05
• Listener elitism & the Rah Rah room: 130:29–142:14

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Tone & Language

The episode is a blend of outrageous satire, wild irreverence, and quick-fire banter, mixing in dark or taboo topics as comedic fodder. The crew’s language is candid, sometimes crude, and pulls no punches—regulars expect this razor-edge, nothing-is-sacred environment.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a tour de force of the Morning Sickness style—funny, unfiltered discussions about sex, society, death, and the dumbfounding quirks of modern American life. It’s not for the easily offended, but for those who relish rocking the holiday season with brutal honesty, taboo-busting jokes, and the enduring question: why take anything seriously?

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Unknown Singer]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Brady Bogan]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online.

[John Holmberg]

It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

Do not listen to this while driving.

[Brett Vesely]

Or when full alertness is needed.

[John Holmberg]

The rest of Homur's morning sickness. This is the big red radio and I. And then I saw a story last night. A lady's pretty. She's a pretty woman. This is a. She's not young. She's not old. She's a pretty lady. Right? I'm showing boys a picture. She decided to set up cameras in her house. Just walk around naked when she's home. She's naked. She makes $20,000 a month. Why? Look, I'm a man. No one's ever gonna pay for that. If you want to see us naked, you just have to ask. Women. You've won this battle in such a great way that you know, for the longest time, a nip slip would be a photograph somebody could sell for a million bucks. If the right person's nipple popped out, it was a million dollar. There was a website for a long time, upskirt cams. We try so hard to see you naked and you've done such an amazing job of keeping it under wraps for the longest time now, no man in this room. In fact, they'd pay you to put clothes on. Each of us. Each of us wander around naked getting laughed at, hysterically walking around our houses trying to make money. Women. Why in the world. This reminds me of back in. No woman of mine's gonna work. That's the skewer that you're doing the dumbest thing in the world fighting this OnlyFans movement. 20 grand a month to just wander around your house naked. If you look okay in this day and age and you got some cameras and you want to pay for. Pay for your house and get it out of the way, why are you sitting back and fighting this moral dilemma? You're naked. Few people chime in. Nobody's touching. Nobod cares.

[Brady Bogan]

I wonder if it's like Mrs. Rogers neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

She comes in, it starts dropping clothes. Yeah, yeah, I'd like to see that. She says she's opened up her decision to embark on an only fans career. Revealing how much she's earned while explaining the decision has done wonders for her ability to parent her son. She's from Australia. She moved to LA and she followed up on her new career path as an adult content creator. She's 49. She made the move to California with her teenage son and has gone viral for revealing why she walks around the house naked that they share. But she doesn't really do it around the boy. She explained she made the move years after struggling with her finances, saying, you know what? I had to stop caring what other people thought, take care of myself. Speaking about her experience in the adult industry, which they're calling this what it really is. She said, I have total financial freedom now as a result of making the leap into this industry and making $20,000 every month. It's an annual income around half a million dollars, which is just me being at home. I don't even try speaking about what held her back getting in there. She said insecurity was the main reason and what other women were doing made her hesitate to make the choice and says, why wouldn't other people do this? It's not that you can't, it's just your confidence. Or do you fear Judgment or do you feel like nobody would want to see it? She explained that she now is able to set her schedule around her son and her priorities due to being a self employed, financially free woman. Remember Jenny Cam in the late 90s? That girl up in Sacramento that was just not even attractive, but just set up cameras around her house and every 15 minutes it would refresh to a new picture of whatever she was doing. Sometimes she was naked, sometimes she was just sitting there watching tv. We all checked in. Jenny Cam was huge for a while. I don't understand. For 20 grand a month, anonymous strangers get to watch it.

[Brady Bogan]

Mom's going to work.

[John Holmberg]

She's just hanging around the house while you're at school eight hours she puts out. She gets to monitor what goes. Yeah, it's not like it's live. And if it is, even more brilliant. But she gets to look and go, that looked pretty good. Or that was me doing this. And okay, I'll. And then you play. You put in your videos of yourself. You just, you know, you edit later. Brilliant. He said, I'm very comfortable now with my sexuality. The kind of person who doesn't have a problem occasionally walking around naked. So I do it. My son has a conversation with me. Sometimes I have my bra on, I'm getting dressed. Or sometimes I'm naked and he'll talk to me. It doesn't mean it's sexual. That's what you're thinking.

[Brett Vesely]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

I'm liberal in regards to nudity and there's nothing sexual about me being naked in my own home. It's not automatically a sexual thing just because I'm not wearing clothes. That's up to you to decide. It's very true. She's making a lot of sense. And for 20 grand a month, pretty awesome. Telling you, man, college is for ugly people. And the world belongs to the onlyfans girl with little confidence. You can. Like yesterday, the lady who did the escort service paid for her house and her car. Now she's a dentist. Brilliant. Too many people hung up on nonsense to come down to that. Because if you've got it, why not flaunt it while you've got it? I think it's beautiful. It's quite beautiful. Now she's whoring around taking Ds all day long and the boy is 17 and stuff. That changes something. Sure, nobody else is even involved. But if Ronnie could pull down 20 grand a month and all she had to do was walk around naked in the house for a couple hours while no one's home. Are you against that?

[Brady Bogan]

No, not really.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, see, There you go. You'd like to see her naked. You could finally do it. You can go online, see your wife naked.

[Brady Bogan]

Finally.

[John Holmberg]

Mathia.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, kidding me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Hell yeah, do it.

[John Holmberg]

Ditto. In fact, I'll stay away from the house longer so you can have more hours naked and I don't end up sullying up the video. You don't need to see me. In fact, we'll take all the pictures of me down because that'll just wreck people's vibes. Nobody needs to see me on camera. Yuck. If you can pull that kind of cake in, make life easier, then do it. And I'll get emails from people that is just an immoral like. Okay, then you don't do it. I'm not talking to you. You're probably ugly anyway. That's why you're mad about doing. Most people that say they wouldn't do it are ugly or they're so hot they're gonna get a rich guy and give them everything.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. In the first place.

[John Holmberg]

No worries. Yeah. She's 49, she's got a teenage STD. It's tough for her to get out there and find a guy that wants to hang out with her all the time. She's like, you know what? I'm doing the best I can, but I was making $3,000 a month. Now I'm making 20 and I don't leave the house. This is better. So save your emails about how morally it's bad and this, that and the other. We lost that battle a long time ago, and it's really not that bad. They said that about Playboy. The world's coming to an end. Naked ladies and just people have access to these magazines with nudity in them. Ah, what's going to happen to the nothing porn, vhs, beta. Oh, the porn. You'll have access to it in your home. It's disgusting. Ah, it's the whole world. It's got to end. By. By 1990, it'll all be nothing happened. You can get porn on the computer. Oh, geez. Well, our kids will never. Nothing happens. In fact, teenage pregnancy rates are lower. It's porn, you're welcome.

[Brett Vesely]

God bless porn.

[John Holmberg]

You have 4K television. It's porn, you're welcome. You have speedy Internet. It's porn. You're welcome. So everything you do, the fact that you're about to email me ugly lady and fire off an email and it's gonna show up in seconds. You can thank por. It has advanced all technology faster than anything Else, our appetite for porn has made all the technology move so much faster. And that goes all the way back to drawings. The printing press, the first thing they printed. First picture, naked lady porn. I got a real appetite.

[Brady Bogan]

That was a mistake.

[John Holmberg]

We can start knocking hundreds of these out instead of just drawing them. First video, some lady takes her top off. Very first thing ever shot. What did I just say? Just take your shirt. There you go. I'm sure. The very first time. The dude who had one of those giant Bass Pro Shops tents with a box. And then the fireball. There's a. There's a lady. Yeah, she's upside down. And it's like. Oh, perfect. Your cans look amazing. They don't move, or I'll kill you because you got no rights. The explosion happened. He took a picture of a naked lady. I'm positive that was the first photo. The first one might have been an accident. The first one he meant to take was a naked lady.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at those jabos.

[John Holmberg]

And nothing changes. It's just our appetite for porn has been from the beginning. And it has made society so much worse. No, it has.

[Brett Vesely]

Would that have been the official first call?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Watson, look at those cans. Yeah, if it was video phone. Watson, come here. I've got a cans on a screen. I could see Mrs. Jefferson's boobies. No. Way to go, Alex. This is gonna change the world. Yeah. Nothing super. In fact, and I say this all the time, with all those people, you know, clutching their pearls, that the world's gonna come to an end. Cause all this immorality, it is the best time to be human on the planet ever. There has never been a better time to be alive. And guess what? Tomorrow is gonna be better than today. Cause our stuff gets a little bit better than. But everybody gets their rings, their pearls in their hands. Oh, what'll happen to them? You realize it's the same argument that's been going on since the beginning of time. The Bible has a thing in it. When they all realize that nothing happens when they're dirty. It's all lies. Hey, aren't we supposed to be smoted or smitten or whatever? Pillars of salt, right? I just boned this lady's butt. I thought I was gonna get punished. Like. Nope, there is no punishment. We're having a party. And they did. They went nuts. Then they wrote a fake story about how they all got punished because they didn't. Because if they would have, and that was real, that would have stopped. But it didn't. If it was legitimate, that the whole Thing went down where it's like he got tired of us behaving that way. And by the way, how bad again I remind you, how bad did Sodom and Gomorrah get for the deity to come back and say, I got to destroy this. They're out of control. It had to be worse than it is now because he's not doing it now. But whatever they were up to back in the day, pre porn, 80 bar, the door. So if you've got it, make some. Make some money off of it.

[Brady Bogan]

There's occasional mosaics of it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's been nonstop. You said you go to Pompeii. Those people were carving out marble dicks. They couldn't get enough.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't speak the language. Just point to the picture. What would you like?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, back in AD and BCs and all that. And you go back to their art and all they did was draw each other naked. They just. The appetite has been there from jump. This guy says, hey John, you should do only nose. Imagine you stay out of the house. Cause when someone gets a finger in the photo, that ruins it. You would be the one that I'm trying to beat off to somebody's boobs. And your nose is in the corner of the screen. It's true. My nose would sneak into the. You know, from when I'm at work until about 2 in the afternoon when I'm home. Go crazy. Not gonna do that. What if my parents see? Then they're perverts looking for porn. What do you. If you're. I've never understood that argument either. My parents might see it. Well then your parents are on the Internet searching random acts of porn. They're not even going to porn stores. They're going to amateur stuff. Your parents are creepier than you are for doing it. It's one of the worst arguments I've ever heard. I won't do porn if my parents see it. Like your parents surf the Internet all day long for amateur porn in the Phoenix area?

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't see it, but their friends will tell them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, their friends are doing it.

[Brett Vesely]

Joe from work saw it.

[John Holmberg]

I think I saw your son banging his wife on the Internet. What? Yeah, you really raised a loser. We were beating off to my son on your amateur porn search. Nobody I've. How many porns have you watched in your life? I came up can't count that high. I thought of this the other day, even with my head start. Have I watched more people having sex than I've had myself?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's true. Now, that is me saying, that's a good little barometer. Have I watched more people doing it on choices I've made. So it's like a rule. Like I had to actually stay on the video for 25 seconds or longer. Otherwise I'm just searching. So it doesn't really count? Not really. Watch. Have I watched more than I've done now? I had a head start on all that that I had seen up to about 2012. So for my active years, and there were some droughts, we say, from 1989 to today. Have I done it more than I've watched people do it now?

[Brett Vesely]

Does that count?

[John Holmberg]

You immediately. You immediately say, absolutely. A block?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm pretty sure. Yeah. But does that count like movies of the 80s, too? Like fast Times, original, on high, like, where it's not real, you don't see anything.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's not. That's not actual stuff. Okay. I'm talking about hard, like porn. Okay. You still say, I think so.

[Brady Bogan]

I.

[John Holmberg]

We've both been married two times. Yeah. Had our fun, have we? In fact, I would have to say I have, probably. Brady, I know you haven't because you don't watch it, but it's still probably close.

[Brady Bogan]

Six times total.

[John Holmberg]

It's still probably close. Six times you've done it total. Probably watched two porns. That's pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

Close.

[John Holmberg]

A good percentage. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't understand the whole. And when ladies come out and she's getting barraged on the comments. Walking around your house naked, taking money from strangers.

[Brett Vesely]

20K a month. Damn right.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds great to me. You're an immoral bastard. You're the reason a fabric of society's falling apart. Like, it's not, though. We're doing great. We're doing phenomenal. It feels like it's off, but it's not. We're good. It's just moving fast so people feel older, faster. Everything's been just fine. Good Lord. Reefer Madness. That's a movie you need to go back and watch and realize the paranoia of how the world's gonna be so horrible if this. If this stuff becomes mainstream. Oh, my God. What'll go on? Nothing. Everything's fine. We've got a massive fentanyl problem. Yep, we do. And that's probably something we should think about. Most of us are okay. Most of us are OK. In fact, 95% of society is not doing any fentanyl. It's not. It's all fine. So get naked, ladies, if you've got it. If you're ugly, go to college.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm doing my.

[Brett Vesely]

Keep your clothes on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, keep your clothes on. Get to college. When you. The world needs, you know, some of them worker bees, too. Or do both. No harm in walking around your house naked, pulling down a couple hundred grand and having a job. One of those jobs is nothing. And yes, if you think people might want to see you, they would. There's an entire only fan section dedicated to people squishing stuff with their feet. There's people pulling tons of cash and doing that. Not for me, but there's people out there who like that. I can pick up this year.

[Brady Bogan]

One of the female comedians that came in this year was making some side money on foot.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I can't remember who it was.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. It wasn't Katherine Blandford, was it?

[Brady Bogan]

It might have been.

[John Holmberg]

She's coming Friday. She's part of our show on Friday night. We'll have her do it barefoot, for crying out loud. And you'll pay extra. God damn it.

[Brett Vesely]

For the second show or the first show?

[John Holmberg]

There is no second.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I just.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I heard. The second show is if you can get her to do it at home for you. Yeah, it's amazing. The reason Blu Ray took over for High def. Look it up. Porn industry decided they were going Blu Ray, so high def lost it was the which one will porn choose? That's the one that's going to take Beta.

[Brady Bogan]

Vhs.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly what happened. Beta is a better product. It was easier to make VHS tapes. They were cheaper. VHS took over. Beta is a much better system. Much better. Like, it was cleaner. The videos were more sturdy. VHS was the cheap stuff. And what did we learn that from? Boogie Nights? A movie about porn. It's a good thing if we just embrace it. It's out of control now. Hey, it's John Holmberg from the morning Sickness. When my beloved dog Dutchy started to slow down, I knew in my heart the time was going to come. That's when I reached out to Happy Endings in Home pet euthanasia. Once Dr. Fixler got to House, he explained every step, answered all the questions, and created a peaceful, loving atmosphere right there. We were able to hold Dutchy on her favorite blanket. Happy Endings made it as peaceful and dignified as the moment could be. If your furry companion is getting close to that time, whether it's a dog or a cat, and you want the comfort of home, the compassion of professionals, and the dignity your pet deserves, call Happy Endings. Visit online. Happy endings euthanasia.com because every pet's life should have a happy ending. It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. I got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online at Doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins. 1-800-sale- now. Putting the fu back in funny Homburg's morning sickness. 98 Kupda on a Tuesday. I've never. I don't think I've ever been a suit on a Tuesday in my life. I have to. There's no possible way that might. That might have been the first time ever I'm in a suit on a Tuesday. I'm trying to think of any other reason for. I've never been to a Tuesday funeral, never been to a Tuesday wedding. I have never been in a suit.

[Brady Bogan]

On a Tuesday wedding. I've been to a Tuesday funeral.

[John Holmberg]

You think, well, it was awake and.

[Brady Bogan]

Then the funeral was the next day, Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

So you remember Tuesday, Wednesdays. That's interesting. I don't think I've ever been to a Tuesday anything. First time in a suit on a Tuesday. Nothing wrong with that. But here we are, end of the year. Got an email like this because, you know, we don't know what's going on here in this building.

[Brady Bogan]

In fact, that Tuesday wake or memorial was that one where it was the baby and I walked into the wake and it was Bone Thugs, Harmony, Crossroads, Crying out loud.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you go to Tupac's wake or what is it?

[John Holmberg]

I went to a baby wake. Oh, that's the worst of all.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

I. I couldn't go to a baby funeral. What do you think about you saying goodbye? You didn't even know him.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't have any. Funny story.

[John Holmberg]

There's no. There's nothing that will lighten the mood at a baby funeral. See that little tiny shoebox?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh. Oh, it was. It was all there.

[John Holmberg]

Shovel in the back. I know. The baby caskets. Somebody's got to make that. And you gotta shop for it. I wouldn't even want to be at the store. Hi. Little caskets. Yeah, we need one. I'm sorry. How big was it? Not very. Do you have one that's about the size of, I don't know, size 14? Nike. Yeah, we got two or three of those left over. We can air Jordan build one of them. 5. They just spray paint the side of the door. Terrible. But I couldn't go to a baby funeral. I wouldn't. I wouldn't go. I'm not. No way.

[Brady Bogan]

Definitely the toughest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's.

[Brady Bogan]

There's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Why have a funeral? Why? Yeah, you can't say a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

You can do another one.

[John Holmberg]

He lived a full life. He lived a nice, heal life. What do you tell a person?

[Brett Vesely]

Try again.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even. Yeah, yeah. You got time.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Good news is you didn't get too close. At least he wasn't talking yet. You don't even know if he was nice. He might have been an asshole. I mean, what do you say at a baby funeral? There's no proper. There's no proper terminology. To wander into a baby funeral and start and say, oh, you know, until Brady said that perfect thing, I was distraught. You can't. There's no getting back around other person's change forever. I wouldn't have gone to that. I'd have skipped that. Did they have food? Oh, Brad. No, they didn't have food.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it was just. Well, they did over at that house. I didn't go over the house.

[John Holmberg]

So you were. So they had a get together after being family. Nah, that's something you just kind of have privately. You don't invite people? No. No, no, no, no. I couldn't do it. How did you.

[Brady Bogan]

I had a plate of baby back ribs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, man.

[Brett Vesely]

Pass the barbecue sauce.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's little smokies and baby backgrounds.

[Brett Vesely]

Burnt ends.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just the chunks of other things.

[Brady Bogan]

Good veal?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, the feel's fantastic. Real tender. I don't think this thing ever saw the light of day.

[Brady Bogan]

Oops. Gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta go. One more for the road, though. Yeah. I don't even know.

[Brett Vesely]

Some riblets.

[John Holmberg]

I couldn't do it. Everything's tiny. That's horrible. How do you even kill? Hi, Caterer. Gotta. We're interested in a caterer. Okay, what's the event? Baby funeral.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, we've got just the menu.

[John Holmberg]

We've got. We got a specific menu of that for the vegans.

[Brett Vesely]

We have some baby carrots over here.

[John Holmberg]

And do you want the vegetables to match the deceased? The Decedent. These are all little baby corn. Baby carrots.

[Brady Bogan]

What about the sprouts?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, look at the food. So. Oh, right. It's a little menu.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a hell.

[Brett Vesely]

We're all going to be there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's just a bowl of goldfish and, like, all the things he loved. Bowl of Cheerios all over, and they're just on the floor. That's the way he would have wanted it. He would have wanted it this way. I guess that's the only thing to do at a baby funeral. Bring your own bag of Cheerios and just leave them on their floor and stomp them into the carpet. Say it's what he would have wanted.

[Brady Bogan]

Worn out sippy cups.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did they have alcohol or they have drinks? They had to have drinks.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't remember.

[John Holmberg]

Man, I'd have gotten in and out of that in a heartbeat. Just like that kid. I'd have been in and out real fast. Oh, that's terrible. See, we can make fun of a baby funeral. That's how fun this show is. We can take a dead infant and have a good old time with it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I. And there's the danger is that there I am with dumbass over here. If I go to a baby funeral, probably because he's taken me, because other than otherwise, I'm not nice enough to do it. You got to be nice. And then the next thing you know, we're looking at each other going, baby carrots, huh? That's what he would have wanted. Is everything pureed? Do you have any milk left? I'm sure you're not using all of it. What are you gonna do with the.

[Brady Bogan]

Rest of the jello molds?

[John Holmberg]

What are you gonna do? Product. Are you gonna squirt that out and give it to a one of the survivors or baby fuel? No way. That shouldn't even be allowed. No offense to the people who have babies who go. Because I can't imagine that kind of mess. But, I mean, don't say, hey, big, big service. I'm like, what was his name? I met him once. He owes me money. Like, I'm not going to that. I'll support you in other ways. There's no way I'll be your best friend forever. But I don't think it's a good idea to have a get together. How many people were there? Was it big?

[Brady Bogan]

75, probably. Oh, it was a small little, you know, chapel on the funeral home.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The kid didn't even meet 75 people.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Way a lot. You know, most was there to. Did people support him?

[John Holmberg]

No. I remember the first time I heard.

[Brady Bogan]

Him crying, one of the babies.

[John Holmberg]

And the last time got up, then there was an awkward silence and I left. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's no fun at all. Anyway, well, Merry Christmas, everybody. Thanks for that uplifting masquerade. It was a Tuesday. It was a Tuesday afternoon. We'll have it on a Tuesday to make it more memorable.

[Brett Vesely]

You'll never forget.

[John Holmberg]

Yikes.

[Brady Bogan]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's stuff. There's those, man. I would never forget that. And that probably changes you as the funeral goer, because you have that thing of, like, don't post your pregnancy on Facebook. I've always thought that that's. Don't do it. You got two years. Get through the gauntlet. And then once you're through the crucible, it's like, you know, the Bible wasn't wrong. When they did their census, they didn't count babies for the first year because back then, they're like, these things don't make it too often. So they weren't counted as population for a while.

[Brett Vesely]

They had a census back then.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, they do. That's in the book. It's in the book they started. Women counted for nothing. They were proper. They have a lot figured out a lot of, you know, look, I'm against religion, but that Bible's got a few good ideas. The ladies are chattel, which is a great word.

[Brady Bogan]

There's even an edict put forth to take care of the population a little bit. Anything under 2 years old that's a male.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Take it out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it didn't count. It wasn't. It wasn't people yet. So even the people who argue that abortion needs to be a thing, you can look at your book, and they didn't even count it as people for a couple years originally. Things. Times have changed. I'm with you on the adapting part.

[Brady Bogan]

But, gang, we think we're within two years of the birth of this baby.

[John Holmberg]

I think I made it. Well, after two years, if you were still breathing, if you started walking, they're like, all right, put them down as a person, because he made it. But boy, oh, boy. Yeah, I don't. Baby funerals got me spinning. I'm not interested in that. But other than that, would you go to another baby funeral? If somebody said it, you'd go, how?

[Brady Bogan]

Well I know the person depends on the spread, man.

[John Holmberg]

I would be more one on one.

[Brady Bogan]

More about the support.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know what it's about, but it's not though. Because nobody's comfortable. It's not. You're not really giving support at a baby funeral. You're not doing a thing. And I guarantee you the parents of the lost baby didn't remember who was at the funeral at all. There are in a fog.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. But you know, at the time, you know, being experienced, being on both sides, even though it's not a baby, you know, like at my dad's funeral, that's appreciate.

[John Holmberg]

That's a celebration of an actual. Of course. Because you had accepted the death.

[Brady Bogan]

No matter what. I've been to a horrible death or whatever. It's still.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, sure.

[Brady Bogan]

You might not even after the fact. It's like your wedding, whatever. Again, that's a celebration.

[John Holmberg]

But baby funerals different.

[Brady Bogan]

The fact that they're showing up, it helps.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a general feel. I don't know. I don't know that it does. I don't know. Their baby funeral is like. Well, that was soothing. I'm glad we did that. I don't think that happened there to, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, I. I don't have the right words to say to you about everything. Just the fact that.

[John Holmberg]

Did you avoid the family?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I would have just. I would have just like sorry about. You don't want to confront those kind of things. Yeah. A kid, an older kid, stuff like that, you start getting like, oh geez, they need things.

[Brady Bogan]

He was a young kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was a baby. That's different. Babies are different. That's not. That's just awful.

[Brady Bogan]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's the worst. Definitely the toughest because yeah, dad, funerals. 88, 89 year old people dying. You're like, yeah, this is a good time for everybody to get together, share store. Everybody's got. Nobody's got stories about a baby. Remember that time? It doesn't happen. Remember that time two weeks ago? He wasn't even here. He didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

He latched on like a.

[John Holmberg]

We called him the old latcher. I mean it was only 17 days on the planet, but boy could he latch. He's a latch Roger. That's the only thing that kid ever did. So let's. Funerals are celebrations of life. But if you only got like a fortnight. But I'm not interested in celebrating that. That's kind of. This one's a failure. Let's just not. Let's not celebrate anything. I'll talk to you independently later. Yeesh. And Brady's looking for pinwheels and baby ribs.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, there's a funeral home In Yikes. Columbus. That's in the news because it's the first of its kind that actually got a liquor license. So at their receptions. Yeah, it's got a bar.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great idea.

[Brady Bogan]

And they say it's about celebration of life or whatever. We're. So we've set this up for packages for people that they can, you know, one stop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think if somebody said, hey, baby, funerals Tuesday. I'd just send over some white paint so they could paint that room backwards. There's a card for Don Edwards. You're going to want to paint that room back.

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta believe you're like maybe even moving.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I am.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean like next man up, I'm out that bedroom.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm never going in there again. Never walking down that hall again. Yikes. No, thanks. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness and I'm getting all the emails. Yes, he'll be in the squares, I'm sure of it. But all this Epstein talk all week long. Everybody's waiting for lists and names and Aaron Rodgers is fighting with Jimmy Kimmel and everybody's on. Stephen Hawking's name popped up on there and everybody kind of went, what? Yeah, Stephen Hawking was there.

[Brett Vesely]

This island was wheelchair accessible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Evidently they had ramps. Ramps into the teen girls rooms. And I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Single for a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

No, he wasn't. He overlapped marriages.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's right. He went right into it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That guy didn't have a blender. Every pimp. Look, he didn't. He ain't doing the single life real well. He needs somebody to do laundry and he had.

[Brady Bogan]

That.

[John Holmberg]

He had his wife. That's started to fall apart somehow. And then he started to. I don't know how it happened, but he started to have a romantic relationship with his nanny and then married her. And again, if you. If you want to have some fun with something, Google search Stephen Hawking's wedding to the late. To his caretaker. And when she. When they do, you may kiss the bride. And then. And she starts licking those picket teeth that he. Little white picket fence of bottom teeth that st up. Damn. Go ahead and kiss my wife now. Give her all that she's worth. So evidently he was on the island and I don't know what that means, but everybody's having a good time with that one because. And then, you know, is that a. It's not a nice thing to think of Stephen Hawking and they had some.

[Brady Bogan]

Important meetings on that island.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, he had, like a whole science convention out on the island and then.

[Brady Bogan]

Try to bring the greatest minds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he did it like, if you had Stephen Hawking on the island, it was like. But doesn't that just basically mean it wasn't everybody? I think everybody thinks the island was a constant just party of sex and whatever. And maybe it was, but there's Stephen Hawking on the island, and everybody's like, they got him down there and there's no pictures of him, like, giving a speech. He's sitting at dinner, there's drinks, there's people around, and it's, you know, Stephen with the girls and, you know, chatting away with Sarah Ferguson from the Princess. And like, okay, this is. Something ain't right.

[Brady Bogan]

But maybe it had a good spa there at the island.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes, like a good rub down. How old are you? Come on. It doesn't matter. Like, who's guilty in that one. Like, if you're 16 and you're, you know, on the island and you've been sex trafficked, the one person you don't have to worry about is Stephen Hawking, right? Like, if he rolls into the massage room, you're just giving a massage. Hard or soft, it doesn't matter. All of it will feel exactly the same. Rub my keypad.

[Brett Vesely]

If not, just slash his tires and run. I mean, what's he gonna do?

[John Holmberg]

How hard is it? No one can hear your cries.

[Brady Bogan]

Just lock them up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

What in the. If you are attacked by Stephen Hawking and lose. He sexually assaulted me. It's your fault. I'm sorry. There's. There's victim shaming me up in the elevator. Yeah, he rolled up against me and I couldn't move. They've got the emergency brake on. You're not going anywhere. Horror. His keyboard croaked me, and then he just kept hitting the M button with his eyes. Get two Popsicle sticks and some bread ties. We're going to do this. Yeah. I don't understand why Stephen. But everybody's like, all the names that are on this list, you're like, wait a second. Huh? And then you start to wonder, was Stephen Hawking, like, a sex slave? Like, did they take him down there and abuse him? But he was down there with Epstein. It's 2006 on Little St. James, the island of sin. And, you know, these pictures came out a while ago, but they're Stephen Hawking now. The names are confirmed on the, you know, the court documents that are being released.

[Brett Vesely]

And still more to come, too, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I do like that. They're slow bleeding it out.

[Brady Bogan]

I guess it's curious to see the ones that you know what people want to know. So the person that denied ever being there. And there's pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what you want. What you want is the one who's like, I never knew him and whatever. And then, well, here, like, what Prince Andrew tried to pull like, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, here he was at your wedding. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Oh, yeah, no, I do know.

[Brady Bogan]

Why don't you come over to England and we'll settle this?

[John Holmberg]

And then his pathetic excuse when he's standing there with that girl who's the teenager, and he's got his arm around her and he goes, that may or may not be my arm. The angle on this photograph, I don't even know if we're actually standing next to each other. It's like, dude, the picture, your arms around her, that may be someone's arm from another room. Yeah. Because from behind a wall, maybe that was Stephen Hawking. His arm crept around from her waist and put it on her hip.

[Brady Bogan]

Amazing how the Royal family stepped in like, okay, cut her a check, Andrew.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're done, you're out. And we're all right with that. Out of the way, Prince Andrew. It's time for a real man to get involved. Not Stephen Hawking. I can't get away. Lay down, bitch. Roll over if you know what's good for you. She's got little tire tracks on her back. He did it. Evidence all over. There's DNA and Goodyear tire marks.

[Brady Bogan]

The trench match.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's you, Hawking. I plead innocence. She raped me. But that would have. Yeah, yeah, you can't. Like, I don't think Stephen Hawkins did anything. So it does again. It starts to make it. So the list starts bringing people out and nothing happens. So everybody else is like, well, I was there with Hawking, but that's a pretty impressive group out there, the Hawking list. And for him to be on that, you know, they loaded him up, they took him down to Lolita and I guess, you know, it landed him and rolled him over one of those things that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you. You get to go to the island. That means you're. You're somebody in a way back then.

[John Holmberg]

And also you're gonna get some money from this really, like, wealthy dude who might help your cause. That was the. Again. That's why I would have been there. We all act like we're also self righteous, but if a billionaire's like, hey, there's this conference, and Stephen Hawking's gonna talk. And I know you're interested in, you know, astrophysicism and whatever they call that. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

He's lining people up. You know, whether he's cutting a check, he's like, oh, you meet him. I'm going.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going. If he had, like, you know, baseball players and stuff. Like, yeah, we're doing, like, a little thing with a bunch of old sports stars. And I know you love the Steelers. I'm going to. There's. There's Stephen Hawking in a wheelchair. Skydiving. Where did that come from? I think Chris Clark said it to us. I don't even want you to land the plane. I'm getting out now. You're on MO. Yeah, that's the whole time down. I'm going to rape an underage whore. That is going to occur.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't even say that anymore when you're jumping out on a plane.

[John Holmberg]

Geronimo. Yeah, we lose your job. All right, Stephen, don't be racist. Geronimo. Oh, he can't do science anymore. Sorry. What are you supposed to say? That's a good point. What are you supposed to say when you leap out of a plane now?

[Brady Bogan]

Cowabunga. Is that safe?

[John Holmberg]

Probably someone's name, isn't it? That sounds tribal. Like, I'm sure there's, you know, Chief Cowabunga over there in Ghana that's not.

[Brett Vesely]

Real happy with it scraping. Holy f. Because I'm not jumping.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not jumping off a plane. But if you can't walk. That dude that did it in that video you just showed is in a wheelchair already. What's the worst that can happen? True. He's already had one bad fall.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not D.B. cooper.

[John Holmberg]

I'm, you know, I'm out. If I'm that dude, I might not pull the chute. I'm just going to throw myself out of this. But, yeah, Stephen Hawking on the island leads to some potentially funny thoughts. Although, you know, and that's how we have to deal with that island. We have to. We have to know deep down. But there, you know, there's articles from five or six years ago. They were worried Stephen Hawking was. Was being sex trafficked down there. They were. Had fetish stuff with Hawking. But if I. I wonder if Hawking was into all that.

[Brady Bogan]

He could have been a watcher.

[John Holmberg]

He was a weird dude. Like, people who knew him were like, he's a. He's a He had a very dark. Oh, you'd have to. You're sitting in that thing with ALS and you. They gave you two years to live and you live 54 more. Like every day was like, nah, I don't care anymore. It's fine. I'm going to keep living and have less use of my body.

[Brady Bogan]

But.

[John Holmberg]

And again, I always think of our boy Larry and Stephen Hawking had a side piece. That's the most amazing part. Stephen Hawking had a wife and a second. And there's dudes out there on bumble going, I just can't make it work. And that's just more and more proof that it's about what you are, not who you are.

[Brady Bogan]

It's how you wheel yourself around.

[John Holmberg]

It is, it's, it's you wheeling with confidence how nice your wheelchair is. Let's just put it that way. It's like, how high end is your wheelchair? Because if you've got a rickety old wicker wheelchair with wooden wheels, you're not having, you're not getting. You're not getting a lady. You got one of them super souped up ones. A few million bucks in the bank. You're on TV every once in a while. Suddenly you know, you're the apple of someone's eye. And that lady plopping down in his lap in that wedding dress and kissing those teeth. I watched that documentary about him. I was fascinated. And then that came up. Like, in the end, his personal life was part of it. Like, what's going on? That nanny in him, she'd wipe his ass and clean him up. And so I don't know if it was even an ass, just a hole in his side and then change out. Yeah, and then he'd do stuff to her bag lady. The tongue still works. And then she'd like tilt him back, put the brake on, straddle his shoulders.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't want to tilt too bad.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. You gotta have a brace. So she'd tilt him back onto the bed and then lock the wheels so he's on a 45. And then she'd just straddle the shoulders and he'd. Oh, Steven. That's right, bitch. Take it. The rollover. Let me see your black hole. It's just not. It's not a good thing. But yeah. So Hawking's the most fun one that's on there. I find it fascinating. It's out of control now. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs. Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the hill. TV's Doug Hopkins can handle everything, won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD did you see the. Did you see the connection? It was like inevitable.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, feathers.

[Brady Bogan]

It was just like the pitch.

[John Holmberg]

Did it blow the bird up or just knock him down?

[Brady Bogan]

Blew up feathers all over the place. And you see the thing kind of drop out of the air. I mean, had no flight. Then I went over there and between the three of us, Jones is like, twist the neck.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Jones is gonna just finish it off let's make Stu do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Could do it. It's just sitting there.

[John Holmberg]

Geez, Brady, I think making stuff. Who's the best option here?

[Brett Vesely]

Just beat it with a clutch.

[Brady Bogan]

Kevin, you gotta take it out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not doing it so that you guys just left it to die slow.

[Brady Bogan]

It was. It was still sitting there. It wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Pricks. Pricks. So it could still be there.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, no. No way.

[John Holmberg]

No coyote would have eaten it by now. But you're saying that. Okay, so you just left it to.

[Brady Bogan]

I felt.

[John Holmberg]

Not able to defend itself.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, maybe it could be good, but maybe.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'd have PGX right to that.

[Brady Bogan]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Get that Bob Parsons out there. You're gonna love our clubs. And just have.

[Brady Bogan]

There are people around.

[John Holmberg]

You know what Tripp should have done?

[Brady Bogan]

Swing with it.

[John Holmberg]

Tripp was a decent humanitarian that he claims to be. He'd have taken that same club and hit that bird as far as he could.

[Brady Bogan]

He would have. But he was crying.

[John Holmberg]

He was upset.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Was he really sad?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it was kind of, you know, it's terrible. Oh, yeah. We're, like, going crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Oh, oh. Now you gotta go. And he's just. The little bird's limping. Was he moving around? No, he's just sitting there, like, dying. You broke him. That's what happens.

[Brady Bogan]

You can see the side. You know, the wing was definitely broken. And he's got. His ribs were broken.

[John Holmberg]

If they have ribs, they have ribs. You've seen a Brady. You've seen a bird probably just below.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, the whole side was.

[John Holmberg]

You have demeted a bird.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a little blood.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus God Almighty. Well, anyway, hope you had a good time yesterday. That was fun. And then I. I went up and hosted the beginning and said, hey, everybody, welcome to the thing. Here's Jeff Jr. From Trades and Wealth. And then after that, Brady's gonna read off all the raffle tickets. And sure enough, Brady and Jeff. I sat and watched them, which is even better. I didn't even leave. I just made sure to know. And Jeff was fine with it. I told him right off the bat, I'm like, look. He's like, thanks for doing this. I'm like, I do everything except read these raffle tickets. You got an awful lot of raffle tickets. He goes, what do you want to do? And I'm like, radio, read them, if that's what you think. I'm like, or you. It's your tournament. I'm not reading these raffle tickets. There's nothing worse than being a guy standing up there in front of a bunch of people, not paying attention, reading off raffle tickets. The worst. Nobody can hear too many times you read them. What? 1117. 117.117. Ah, it's me.

[Brady Bogan]

The guy from all the John Wayne westerns. Won two of them.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of those. Yeah. The miner that kept winning everything. That was fun. So thanks to Jeff Jr. And the gang over there at Trajan. I even said to Jeff, I'm like, you know your financial advisor. And one of the first things he told me was never do anything for free. And I said, I must like you because pony up, kid. And he just started laughing. He walked away. I'm like, well, I thought for sure that would have no financial advisor. That's why he's. Financial advisors are wise. Tell me to get him. Didn't I have invested some time and money into the following your advice, pal. Where's the. Yeah. What the. What the hell? No, he's a good dude. They're actually great people. So tournament seemed nice. I didn't get to play, but it's a good setup. Outside of all the, you know, animal abuse, it seemed awfully nice. Pretty crazy because that was a trip. Was obviously bothered by it. I made two jokes about it. It's so I try to do it two or 300,000 times. You would miss his Dodgers already won.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, they're on for this.

[John Holmberg]

That means the Diamondbacks are going to do it because there was a Diamondback in their foursome. I don't know what it meant. I don't know what it meant, but it meant something. It's a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

And he had a second one.

[John Holmberg]

He hit another bird.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no. He hit a second tee shot after that. Go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

You know, he didn't take the first one.

[Dick Toledo]

We.

[Brady Bogan]

We didn't really need. He just wanted to hit another one. Sure. And it went into the a. A tree on the other. Oh, you hit another one.

[John Holmberg]

There's a thing Saturday Night Live did with Nate Bargazi this last year where he was golfing and every shot killed something. He shanked one and it went into a nest. And like. Oh, good. Or it hit a tree. I think it's just a tree. And this eagle's nest fell out of the tree and then something comes down and kills the eagles. It was hilarious. But, yeah, it was. It's. It's hard to do that. Like, you can't. You can't intentionally swing a golf club and hit a ball. Well, let Alone. Hit an animal in flight. A bird.

[Brady Bogan]

I've never seen a fly. I saw the feathers fly one time. I don't know if you were there or not. It was. It was a worm burner. Someone hit. And the birds were just in the fairway. All of a sudden you.

[John Holmberg]

I have never seen a golf ball hit an animal ever.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, what about the squirrel or something that. Brady was crucified lying out there.

[John Holmberg]

It was already dead. And he crucified it with golf tees for the next four, which I was. That's crucifixion. That's exactly what they did. That's right, the Romans. The Romans, yeah. He did. It turned into that. So he was in the foursome ahead of us. Did you run over the rabbit or just fine? No, because he ran over a rabbit later that day. I remember that too.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that was another.

[John Holmberg]

Was that a different time? Same course?

[Brady Bogan]

That was at the Karsten.

[John Holmberg]

I thought that was at Phoenician. Either way, he's killing. Damn.

[Brett Vesely]

A grim reaper over here.

[John Holmberg]

And we came up on this.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought you were driving.

[John Holmberg]

No, he spread. Well, I have killed one before. That was at the Phoenician. That was me. And we're going. And I'm like, no, no, no. And he just ran right towards the tire and he exploded. I was going like two miles an hour. Oh, it was horrible. He. That was suicide. That little guy killed himself because I. I was going to. There was nothing about me that was trying to fly through that or just die. Don't go, don't go, don't go. And I'm like, no, no, stay there, stay there. And he just ran right. Right towards the tire as I tried to stop. And he just heard. I'm like, oh, just go. But Brady took the rabbit and pulled his little arms apart and pinned them to the grass and then his bottom little arms and pinned those to the grass and put a T in the middle of his chest with a ball on. And if I recall correctly. And the poor little rabbit's corpse had been just horribly desecrated by Brady. And laughing. He's still doing it now. He was. That's exactly. It was.

[Brady Bogan]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

What do you call it? Otherwise, what do you call it? You took stuff. No, you took a corpse and you mangled it up like a serial killer in training. And then you put a tea in its chest and a golf ball on it for us.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't remember that.

[John Holmberg]

You did. Why else would you. On a golf course? Why? What else would you have done? Done that.

[Brady Bogan]

I Thought it was just like a.

[John Holmberg]

Tea marker because he can't leave the wildlife alone. And this one was just laying there dead. So he's like, well, I'm gonna touch that. And he did. And he probably had lice for like three weeks and didn't know it. Itched for a while and then off he went. And, you know, it wasn't a reaction of fun when we pulled up, like, oh, come on, this is disturbing.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, so you weren't with him.

[John Holmberg]

You're a sportsman. He was doing it for me. And I believe Doug King was with me. And Doug and I pulled up and goes, oh, this is. It's not even remotely funny. Like, this is just something. This is the work of just. I know he finds it hysterical to mangle dead bodies. He thinks it's fun. I mean, he worships the Jesus. What's the difference? That's what they did to him. That he just took it and I mean. And the poor little thing was stretched as far as its little arms could go. And I don't think rabbit arms are supposed to go out to the side, man. Brady made sure they did. I'm sure you heard cracking and busting as you giggled your way through pinning him to the earth. It was one t. It was not. You pinned all of his feet down and then put a tee through him and a ball on it. First of all, he has paws, okay, Sorry. I didn't realize how much you cared about him when you were mangling his clothes.

[Brady Bogan]

Gentle.

[John Holmberg]

Gross. So it's not uncommon for stuff to die when Brady and Trip golf together. But mostly Graham. Surprised you didn't pick the dove up and start messing with it. Did you move him close? I didn't want.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't want to. You know, he's just sitting there.

[John Holmberg]

You don't move him.

[Brady Bogan]

Cuz he staring at us.

[John Holmberg]

Final inj you want to do is move him. You don't want to paralyze him. Poor little guy sitting there like Stephen Hawking. It's terrible. I think I've told you this before, but I was at. Remember Kanas park when you used to go ice. Ice blocking? Oh, yeah, yeah. There was a girl named Jamie o' Traver who had a really cool Jeep Renegade. I liked her a lot. We were having fun and we all went ice blocking. Me and about six other girls. Or like there were girls and six other people. I think most of them were chicks. And I was, you know, in the heart of heating up some fastballs and feeling pretty good about myself. So at the end of the day I've got this ice block. You got to break it up. Stand at the edge of the lake, just whipping it. And I just remember her saying, you throw so hard. I'm like, you know it. And I really reared back and gave it a whip. And it didn't make a water sound. You just heard. And then this duck goes like. Like, slowly floats towards the side of the Kiwanis Lake. I took its head, just bashed. Like, it just turned it over. It was just laying up against itself. And she hated me immediately. And, like, I started to cry.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, you did it on purpose?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like I was chucking it at the duck. I didn't even see them. It was night time. And, yeah, like, it was. It was dead.

[Brett Vesely]

Seabeed yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Well, even if she was okay with it, I wasn't. I was literally crying. I was like, crying. I'm back in my jeep, crying.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't mean to do it.

[John Holmberg]

I felt so horrible. And then a couple weeks later, and I don't even know who did this. It was pinned up onto the ground with a golf tee in its chest. Freddy will mangle a corpse.

[Brady Bogan]

You blow it with a. You're like, foul ball.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What are you gonna do? That was a tough one, though, because I don't think that was going anywhere anyway. But that absolutely guaranteed that. And that takes a lady, right?

[Brady Bogan]

That would change things up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Change the mood when you kill a precious animal. You want to make out? No, I want that duck to come back to life. You know what? You never know when an icebox gonna hit us in the head. We should probably consummate this relationship. Mary effing holidays from the Big Red Radio Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern.

[John Holmberg]

It's Action Ride Shop. It is a beautiful time to be in Arizona. Just a nice time. December. I just discovered that in my brain kind of wrapped around it for the first time, realizing the time of year it is, but not really realizing, oh, my God, December 10th. Huge. But it is the holidays. And for the holidays, we've decided to try to Compete a little bit with Kez. We've done this in the past trying to find rock songs that are good for Christmas and there just aren't any real good ones. And in fact, there's not any good Christmas music that's come out in a long time. We're still leaning on Mariah Carey. Those British people that were trying to feed Africa, do they know it's Christmas? Do they care? It's Christmas is the bigger question out there. But they haven't done a new Christmas song in such a long time. They still. Kez still just goes right back to the old crap that's been going on since I was 10. Like, even the most modern one is Mariah Carey.

[Brady Bogan]

Andy Williams pounded.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if they're still doing Andy Williams on Kez.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Recording doesn't seem like it would be very close. No, I suppose that's true. Yeah, they get that one either way. We've got our own versions of this. And Brady AI Brady has been programmed to sing Christmas songs for you. And yesterday we had some gems I believe, gorgeous version of Rocking around the Christmas Tree. And then of course, the Blue Christmas. Porky Pig AI Brady, which was fairly hilarious. Platinum today International Brady singing Christmas to you. Jose Feliciano's great big hit Feliz Navidad, done by AI Brady is something that will bring a tear to your eye, we hope in the right and wrong way. So here it is, our Christmas tradition that starts today and ends in a couple of weeks and we'll probably forget about it. It's AI Brady. Felice Navidad. Merry Christmas, everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Belize Fetty's Maddy that fetty is Maddie that for Alfredo Ban yoi Fetish Fetty's naughty that Fetty's naughty that bellies Maddy that for me all I'm going to a dad I've always cheered old Merry Christmas grass always go Merry Christmas I always till a merry Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

How I.

[Brady Bogan]

Always you a merry Christmas How I await you Merry Christmas wish you a merry Christmas from the bottom, Freddy's Nanabila. Merry Christmas I want to live to a merry Christmas on the bottom on the mic I want to wish you a merry Christmas I want to win see what Merry Christmas I want to lynch you A merry Christmas on the.

[Dick Toledo]

Bottom.

[Brady Bogan]

Fairy snobby Ladder fairies Knobby that phillies Mavi that hospital I'm your event. I want to wish you a melody Christmas I want to wish you a merry Christmas I wanna waste you a little bottle I wanna waste you a very Christmas I Wanna waste it a merry Christmas I wanna waste it a Merry Christmas on the bottles for my mom. Bradley's nodding. That Bradley's probably that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That was stunning. Beautiful, beautiful work. My God, if you weren't in the Christmas spirit before, you should be now. And I don't think it's that far off of what we would have gotten out of Brady for the real Feliz Navidad. That didn't. Didn't sound like you knew all the words properly. But AI Brady is just our Christmas. Our little Christmas angel. What a fine day Brady's been.

[Brady Bogan]

What a crooner.

[John Holmberg]

And the suggestions came pouring in yesterday for all the things we're trying to make. Baby, it's cold outside between Brady and Dale, but the AI is really messing that up something fierce. So it is better than having Brady sing it because we don't have to do any editing. And we would if you had sung it for real. So, AI Brady already, pardon the pun, trimming the fat on the costs of what it would take to produce an AI Brady versus real Brady Christmas album. Feliz Navidad, everybody. All of our Mexican listeners out there and Spanish speaking, anyone's. What a beautiful moment, Brady. Was there anyone you like to sing that? He sounds a little retarded, I'm gonna say. It also says, why does AI Brady even sound like he might be a little bit out of shape? Sounds like he's running out of air. Well, it's AI Brady I'd like to hear this Christmas. You want to hear this Christmas?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Ooh, I don't know if it's the Wham Song.

[Brady Bogan]

No, this Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that. Oh, I thought it was. Oh, the black version. Oh, yeah, I thought. Was it last Christmas? Do they know it's Christmas? Last Christmas is Wham. Do they know it's Christmas? Is the Africa thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I enjoyed that very much. Said Feliz Navidad. Brady started out strong for Brady, then turned into a cross of Midwestern drunk uncle and a Down syndrome cousin doing karaoke at the reunion. Yep. All I heard was Felice never that racist. Yeah, I think it's a. It's a Down syndrome version of you who's had a couple of pops, maybe some eggnog, but that says Christmas to me. Everyone's invited. Beautiful thing. Thank you, Brady. Maybe we'll revisit another song before the morning's out. I think we should. It's 98 KUP. Merry Christmas.

[Dick Toledo]

Fast breaks and buzzer beaters. Don't stop just because it's the holidays. It's Dick Toledo for Underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score you 5,000 times your money. Playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on their stats. You can give me Grayson Allen to go higher on three pointers every time. And with Underdog Unwrapped, you'll unwrap tons of promos all throughout the holidays. They've got boosts, gimme pics, deal reveals, and even some surprises sprinkled in. So Underdog with me and download the app today and use the promo code HMS to SC $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog Make Picks win money must be 18 +, 19 + in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 + in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web play and getterms_dfs_html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org In New York, call 24.7Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text HOPE NY.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cyber security, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo and don't just study tech. Live it all. They show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Homebrew's morning sickness. We got ourselves a Brady report for all the other stuff that's going on. So keep I'll keep an eye on the mountain. You guys look at all the other stuff. It's brought to be our [e-mail] that's where you get shade put on that back patio so you can turn day into night at your home if you'd like. You've got an area that's got a TV on the back patio or you want want to put one on there, but the sun's glaring too Much. Well, darn it all, there's one place that'll fix all that. Allprochade.com Make a nice shady day out of these 80 degree December afternoons and turn into a beautiful evening. And because you got motorized shade from All Pro Shade, they'll throw a heater in there for you as well. So when the sun does set, you don't need your shades anymore. You got a nice heater to continue your evening on your Beautiful new patio. AllProche.com Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Wednesday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

We just beamed out our first ever travel ad for aliens. Basically come to this city, the chamber of commerce for Earth and guess who got to do it? Not Paris.

[John Holmberg]

Tokyo, Iran.

[Brady Bogan]

Bryan Cranston, Lexington, Kentucky. Oh their tours and board is behind this and they thought it would draw some fun attention. They got FAA approval. Send a coded bitmap image with pictures representing prime numbers in the four basic elements of life. They also included a rough image of a human and two images of horses because Lexington is the horse capital of the world. Also shows the chemical formulas for the main molecules in bourbon. And it has a little thing that says visit Lexington, Kentucky.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a good spot.

[Brady Bogan]

Great place to vacation in the Bluegrass State. Pointed the signal at a solar system called Trappist 1 because we think it has a lot of planets could sustain life. It's about 40 light years away. So any aliens out there won't get it until 2063. If they respond, we won't get it back till 2103.

[John Holmberg]

We'll all be dead. But will Kentucky be the same? Will the offer still stand?

[Brett Vesely]

And those alien tourism dolls, well they're.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna be big someday. Brett, Will we be here? I don't know. But I for one hope that they don't find the fear of it all. The most ravenous, angry, war hungry aliens of all time that like liquor cause they'll go to Kentucky and they'll just come find it. I'll fight for them.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got three quick radio videos cuz.

[John Holmberg]

If you can get here. I'm not defending this place. I'm joining your team. Because if you have the capabilities to fly from one solar system to ours, I'm not taking out my 12 gauge and firing away. I'm joining them. They're going to win. Would you fight for Earth or the aliens? The aliens, absolutely. First, what are you assessing? They're here. Assessment over.

[Brady Bogan]

See what the technology assessment again.

[John Holmberg]

Assessment over. They're here.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

There could be some deal breaks and what?

[Dick Toledo]

Hold on. What technical knowledge are you bringing to the assessment?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

A lot.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good question. What exactly are you going to be like? Well, this boils down to two facts. Like what are you doing? You fight for the aliens.

[Brady Bogan]

I just want to know, you know, if I join up.

[John Holmberg]

Up?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, with the alien army. What kind of. Kind of food programming?

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you exactly.

[Dick Toledo]

You want to know where your Macintosh plugs in?

[Brett Vesely]

Here's where. If I can't fight Gold Bloom, I'm out. I'm with the aliens.

[John Holmberg]

You're an idiot for even him and ha over this. Because what you're going to be is a hungry slave.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the worst punishment you could ever imagine. So you would. You should be first in line for when the aliens come to join their side.

[Brady Bogan]

If I'm a hungry slave, that'll take about two weeks to build of a piece pyramid, right?

[John Holmberg]

You'll get it done. I'm not saying you wouldn't be a good slave, but they're not going to feed you the way you want.

[Brett Vesely]

He's going to do some proper vetting. He's got to make sure they're not vegetarian aliens or anything like that.

[John Holmberg]

You know, he would spend the entire time introducing meats to them.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, this glop is good.

[John Holmberg]

I tell you right now, if they're vegetarian aliens. Admiral Brady still on the alien team and now he's a cannibal because it's the first time he gets to taste this new meat called human that the aliens are kind of of questioning. But Brady's gonna run it come around on the barbecue. It's not bad now that I'm one of yours. Glocknor Idiot. I'd have to assess the technology. They're here. If they made it here. Your assessment is moot.

[Dick Toledo]

So you want to go in and push buttons that you have no idea what they do.

[John Holmberg]

I thought I've seen one of these before. My buddy Billy's got one of these. No he doesn't. Shut up. It's a spaceship, you dumbass. Assessor. The technology. I'm going to kill you first. As my first human kill. As the new alien soldier. Any idiot that stands in their house with a shotgun shooting at a spaceship.

[Brady Bogan]

Now hang on a tick.

[John Holmberg]

All of you join. Look, I know there's a lot of make America great again feelings about that, but if it went hovered over Phoenix if you didn't join, you're the dumbest mother on the planet. It's like what I always say about me being an atheist. If Jesus showed up.

[Brett Vesely]

Up.

[John Holmberg]

How stubborn am I to stick to my guns? And the same with the. But you are stubborn because I told you, like, if Allah or Vishnu just popped by and said, hi, and this inalienable proof that it was Vishnu, you'd be like, no, there's still Jesus. I'd be like, you're crazy. Join up.

[Dick Toledo]

It's part of God's plan for Vishnu to show.

[John Holmberg]

Right. This is a trick I'm supposed to not fall for.

[Brady Bogan]

I've heard about you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This eight armed God that's standing next to that giant elephant in the parking lot. Pretty convincing. I think I'm joining up again.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll have to assess the.

[John Holmberg]

That's. You're the dumbest mother I know. Oh, Jesus comes floating down and I'm like, nah, still not real. You'd be like, john stupid.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not like buying Kirby a car.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

To assess something.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta take a look. Kick the tires on this spaceship to make sure I join the right side. Can we fly to their planet?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

They win.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

They have the technology. We don't.

[Brady Bogan]

The first radio, video.

[John Holmberg]

Even if they catapult here, I'm still impressed. We catapulted all the way through space. How?

[Dick Toledo]

We just.

[John Holmberg]

And you survived the. The atmospheric changes and all that? Yes. I'm joining you guys. I'm not gonna kill you with a 12 gauge. That's crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

But all those people made it through.

[John Holmberg]

Tell you right now, I'd be out there in the wood. I'd be killing alien after alien. I always watch those Alien movies. I'm like, why are the earthlings fighting back? This is dumb. Join them.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got some wild world.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right.

[Brett Vesely]

Over today.

[Brady Bogan]

Nice. Hello, my friends, Brady Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

And this is your wild, wild world.

[Brady Bogan]

Elephants at the Berlin Zoo in Germany have been chowing down on unsold Christmas trees.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that on the news last.

[Brady Bogan]

Night, and it made me find them delicious.

[John Holmberg]

I never knew what happened to the unsurprising Sold Christmas trees.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, a lot of them get dumped in lakes and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

It helps the biology.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you're.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you meant, like, thrown away illegally. Yeah, so they should put it in Tempe Town.

[Dick Toledo]

He drives by Saguaro and just dumps them in.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no, I mean, they're. I'm sure there's people that do it on their own, but I know they dump a bunch of them.

[John Holmberg]

What Brady is saying, do not take your tree and throw it in a lake. Hold on. Don't take your Used tree and throw it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why they gather them. You know Gilbert has a drop off area. Put them in the drop off area.

[John Holmberg]

Those are. Hold on. Those are not.

[Brady Bogan]

The goons take them and then he's an idiot.

[John Holmberg]

Remember that. Those aren't fresh trees. Your tree that's been in your house for a while.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't go in a lake. It goes back to the center where they. They mulch them down or do whatever.

[Brady Bogan]

They'll mulch them. They'll put.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. Stop. Because you're confusing. You don't realize how confusing. And you just told people go ahead, throw it in the lake. And that's not what you meant.

[Brady Bogan]

Apparently the elephants love them there.

[John Holmberg]

And don't go to the zoo and start throwing trees at elephants either. That's not.

[Brady Bogan]

It's become an annual thing at the zoo. People can watch them chow down on the trees. Bison love them too.

[John Holmberg]

Don't go to Yellowstone and just drop your trees off. There's probably an ornament in it. Choke. Fresh unsold trees are what we're talking about here. Not yours.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Pull up to the entrance.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

To Yellowstone. Up a tree.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

12 news story from January of last year. Christmas trees that made the holiday Mary for celebrators are getting a second job. Instead of being tossed into the trash, these will be recycled and used as homes for the fish of Canyon Lake.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. But let somebody else do that. That's my point. Brady's saying it. You can just not you. There's a place. You take it and then they do the right thing. Yeah, but I don't want to see somebody on the 202 hucking it over the edge.

[Dick Toledo]

Saguaro too.

[John Holmberg]

Brady said you can throw them in lakes. It's good for them. Don't. Or by my place.

[Brady Bogan]

Granada.

[John Holmberg]

Granada Park. I don't want to see any of that. Take it to the proper place. Let them handle it from there like game and fish. I don't know who's in charge of it but somebody with a degree. Somebody with a.

[Dick Toledo]

With a couple of letters before their.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody.

[John Holmberg]

Not you.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

We've got a gigantic spider that was discovered in Australia. It's about the size of a baseball. Experts saying it's the largest known male funnel web spider.

[John Holmberg]

Ooh.

[Brady Bogan]

It wasn't found by a scientist out in the wild. Some random person came across it. They didn't say how that happened. So it's very poisonous too. The funnel web spiders are the world's most venomous spiders. The Venom is packed with 40 different toxic proteins.

[Dick Toledo]

You made it sound nefarious.

[Brady Bogan]

And they didn't say how they found it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they were up to no good. Yeah, I kidnapped it.

[Brady Bogan]

Its raw venom is the only way to make life saving anti venom.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

The spider has been named Hercules. He's living in a wildlife sanctuary in Australia right now. Hercules has some of the biggest fangs that I've seen on a spider.

[John Holmberg]

You've seen a lot of spider fangs?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Gaboon spider. Seen tarantula fangs.

[John Holmberg]

And they can also be found on the surface of Uranus. I'm a child.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's your wob wobworld. Got a couple of radio videos.

[Dick Toledo]

John, maybe you know this, but you don't do your Christmas trees in the lake. You take them out deep in the desert and you make great bonfires.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Brady will tell you nothing burns quite like an old Christmas tree. So if you want to keep warm for you. I've done part of a Christmas tree in a fire protected area. And I couldn't believe it how big that fire was.

[Brett Vesely]

My dad almost caught our house on fire way back in the day. He said it was a good idea to just burn the thing in the fireplace.

[John Holmberg]

I chunked it down like into bits about a foot and a half long. And I put the tip of it in my chiminea. It was like a jet engine. The top of that thing was spinning. It was a volcano of fire. And I just remember thinking, oh this is no good. I said it. That tree next door was about to go up. That poured water on it. Was no help in that thing. It got worse. Don't burn your trees. Don't drop them off in Tempe Town Lake. There's places for them. Don't listen to Brady about it. You're great for your fish. Stop it.

[Brady Bogan]

One year had some guys prank me when I was living at home. Parents. They unloaded about 50 trees from a.

[John Holmberg]

Lot on your our.

[Brady Bogan]

Put them in our front yard with the tree sign.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

After Christmas they thought it was funny.

[John Holmberg]

Who cleaned that up?

[Brady Bogan]

We. I had to clean them up.

[John Holmberg]

You did?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Cuz we didn't. Didn't know who did it right away. I chased them down the street.

[John Holmberg]

You were at night victim?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You chased them down the street?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Cuz I heard. I heard it happening. I woke up. That's smart.

[John Holmberg]

And there were guys who dropped a.

[Brady Bogan]

Bunch of trees down in the tighty whities. Tried to get the license plate.

[John Holmberg]

What in the world were you thinking, Cuz?

[Brady Bogan]

I knew there was. I knew. I knew the guys that would prank me, but I. I couldn't identify.

[John Holmberg]

You knew the guys that were going to prank you?

[Brady Bogan]

I knew I would know the guys who were pranking.

[John Holmberg]

What if they weren't pranking you? What if it just people who hated you and your family?

[Brady Bogan]

That's one other reason why I was running out there and get the license plate.

[John Holmberg]

You know, there are people called police officers that you guys were so averse to having cop cars in your neighborhood. You took naked men standing in windows, guys littering trees, tactical blackmores than anybody.

[Brett Vesely]

You running when you're Fruit of a Looms down the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, like the beginning of what's Happening Rerun running down the road. You get back here with those trees, you jerks. So they had 50 trees or so you said?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they had. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And the truck itself wasn't identifiable.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, by the time I woke up, it was. It was heading down our street.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

That was enough so that I thought I could get close enough.

[John Holmberg]

You could catch a car on foot.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a big ass truck if you got 50 Christmas trees.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, listen to what he just said. I thought when I saw was still closing up.

[Brady Bogan]

I had a pretty good 40 time at that time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, much faster than a vehicle.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have your helmet on or did your mom not get.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I didn't have time to put the helmet.

[Dick Toledo]

You were doing the Ferris Bueller cutting through backyard.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, jumping on trampolines.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, this guy. The headline of this email says pop pop retard. Wow. Even when he doesn't know what he's talking about, he doubles down Gaboon fangs. It's a gaboon viper, you idiot. Last time I checked. And you know about their fangs?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, because I had one.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Why did you have one?

[Brady Bogan]

My dad was involved at the Columbus Zoo insect exhibit.

[John Holmberg]

At your house? What?

[Brady Bogan]

No. But we would have some insects out. Yeah, at the house.

[John Holmberg]

That's not what is supposed to happen when you start an exhibit at the zoo. It's never supposed to be at home.

[Brady Bogan]

First travel.

[John Holmberg]

We're fostering Zoom came across a kaboon spider.

[Dick Toledo]

You stole one is what you did.

[Brady Bogan]

From the zoo? I fostered it for a while.

[John Holmberg]

You guys stole animals from the zoo? And your dad told you that it was. It's a program at the zoo that we keep them here at the house. Back of myself. Brady, go chase that car. You're like a. Like a stray dog. I almost caught him too.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't believe Capoon vipers are pretty cool.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know anything about that.

[Dick Toledo]

Totally.

[Brett Vesely]

Every. Every day something. You guys have worked with them 20 something years.

[John Holmberg]

It's like. And it's still shock.

[Brett Vesely]

Still something new.

[John Holmberg]

It still shocks us. You chased a car like a dog. Like a dumb.

[Brady Bogan]

Doctor after Goldtooth and a couple other guys.

[John Holmberg]

The dude that came in here. Yeah, Jay, that decided to throw garbage in your front yard. And you stayed friends with him.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yeah, I got him back.

[John Holmberg]

What did you do?

[Brett Vesely]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

All right, if you're gonna start mouthing off, give me some popcorn. I put a gaboon viper in his wife's pants.

[Brady Bogan]

She's dead.

[John Holmberg]

Anus. She's dead. They learned their lesson. And now he's my friend. Or else I'm not friends with somebody who does that to me. What did you get?

[Brady Bogan]

It was pretty funny.

[John Holmberg]

What? It wasn't funny if somebody dropped 50 trees in my front lawn. That's not funny.

[Brady Bogan]

It was one call. I actually, you know, the UA garbage came over. There's where the.

[John Holmberg]

Of course they did. You think it was funny to them that they had a special stop to pick up 50 trees?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they didn't have to bring them 40 different stops.

[John Holmberg]

That. That is.

[Brady Bogan]

You're rational.

[John Holmberg]

The most Pollyanna.

[Brady Bogan]

Ain't my problem, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Bull answer I've ever heard in my life. Your rose colored glasses just started to bleed with stupidity. Oh yeah. No, the. The guys loved it. It was a one stop shop for. Did him a favor. Hey, a bunch of drop garbage, that makes your job easier. Yeah, sure. That's what we do. We clean up your yard. Can you help us out?

[Brady Bogan]

Someone dumped a bunch of trees in our yard.

[John Holmberg]

Any. Any guy who drives a. A trash truck right now. Tell me how great it is is to clean up somebody's front yard of trash. They're not happy about that.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, we put them on the curb and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but still they're not. Well, they. You tell me a trash guy's gonna pull up to a house of 50 trees and go, these pricks right here. What are they thinking?

[Brady Bogan]

So then Dr. My dad had. I don't know, maybe pay for a special trip in there.

[John Holmberg]

I would hope so. And you know who should have been paid for it?

[Brady Bogan]

This is Brady, man.

[John Holmberg]

The prankster should have been paying for.

[Brady Bogan]

Lunch with Brady for years.

[John Holmberg]

So how did you get him back?

[Brady Bogan]

I can't remember.

[John Holmberg]

You said it was a good get him back.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, no, I got. I said I got him back.

[John Holmberg]

What you do? You're going to make something up There we go. And you're just lying.

[Dick Toledo]

Eyes are spinning.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the ceiling. Brady, if you don't know how you got him back. It wasn't a good prank.

[Brady Bogan]

I hooked him up with his wife that he had a horrible 20 years with.

[John Holmberg]

So you had this really good plan. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

That took 20 years to come to fruition.

[John Holmberg]

The first 18 years are gonna be.

[Brady Bogan]

Terrible for 20 years.

[John Holmberg]

And then the last.

[Brady Bogan]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

Her true colors are gonna be blue like Uranus. You didn't get him back either. And you invite him and he stays at your house.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey. Well, we were roommates after that for about two years. The whole time.

[John Holmberg]

I would hit him in the nuts with a hammer. The first night we slept in the same place. This is for your stupid tree gang.

[Brett Vesely]

I had a Robert Fisher his ass.

[John Holmberg]

Did he. Did he ever tell you why?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they thought it would be funny.

[John Holmberg]

It's not. Did you tell him it wasn't?

[Brady Bogan]

Probably. They figured if there's any place we could do that. Get away with it.

[John Holmberg]

Right? The very non confrontational. We could literally in their mouths. And they'd laugh if we told them it was a prank. Look, we're gonna prank and take your mom's mouth friends. I'll get you back your anus. Roommates. Why do they get hold of 50 trees? I got an idea. Let's. They hated you. Let's dump them on Bogan's lawn.

[Brady Bogan]

What do they do?

[Brett Vesely]

Rent a U haul to do this? 50 trees is a lot of, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Trucks.

[John Holmberg]

Your friends were dead.

[Dick Toledo]

Two trucks.

[John Holmberg]

You chased one of them.

[Brady Bogan]

I chased one of them. The last one.

[John Holmberg]

That is rental effort, exertion and complete hatred to rent two trucks and throw the trucks.

[Dick Toledo]

They had to place an ad to pick up people's trees.

[John Holmberg]

They hated it.

[Brady Bogan]

Had the. I think there is a picture of it. But it had the sign up there. Joe's Christmas trees.

[John Holmberg]

They don't like you. They didn't like you.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at prank.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. It's not a good prank. What's good about it? What's the punchline line?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the punchline is when you wake up in the morning, there's all these Christmas trees. Do you think people that toilet paper.

[John Holmberg]

Your home like you.

[Brady Bogan]

Sometimes?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh my God.

[John Holmberg]

They ask. You're a victim.

[Brady Bogan]

Not. Not back in the day when we were. Now they ask permission and they'll do.

[John Holmberg]

It to a football player before.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, this is a great. As long as you clean it up.

[John Holmberg]

But that's.

[Brady Bogan]

That's whole arrangement. Arrangement.

[John Holmberg]

But if some.

[Brady Bogan]

Back in the day no. Egging and TPing was not a thing.

[John Holmberg]

Even today, if somebody's asking, can we toilet paper your home? The answer is no.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, no, because.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you targeting me? Why am I the victim here? I'm not cleaning this up. We'll do it. We'll clean it. Like, that's dumb.

[Dick Toledo]

You missed the moment when it washed over him when you said they hated.

[John Holmberg]

They hated you. I know. I saw it.

[Brady Bogan]

We never got tp.

[John Holmberg]

You got treed. It was worse. You got.

[Brett Vesely]

Got forested.

[Brady Bogan]

But I don't think those guys hated it.

[John Holmberg]

They did at the time. They didn't like.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

But you're still not sure.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm pretty sure it was a. I mean, there might be one of them in.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, if I decided to drop 50 trees off at your house right now, would you think, why did. Why did John do that? Why? Or would you think. Good, good friend. Thanks. It's addictive.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a hilarious prank.

[John Holmberg]

What is hilarious about throwing trash in someone's yard like that? It's not fun funny.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you're not pranking people because you hate them a lot of times. It's not a prank.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's not. But that's the point. A prank is like a funny thing. That's like, oh, my God, that was hilarious. You got dumping trees. That's the. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The problem with pranks, sometimes they can go too far.

[John Holmberg]

Right? And usually it's like the pr. They'll prank you. They prank your parents, your dad's home, his hard work. That wasn't a prank on you brother.

[Dick Toledo]

Your sister.

[Brady Bogan]

You found it funny. They weren't there.

[John Holmberg]

Your parents thought it was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

How old were you when all this happened?

[Brady Bogan]

College.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Dick Toledo]

You're even older than I thought.

[John Holmberg]

Let's dump all our trash in the bogan's yard. Old Tom Bogan will think it's great. Hey, good one, boys. Who's gonna clean this up?

[Dick Toledo]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You son of a. No. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

I threw a gaboon spider on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. They got nothing. You didn't get them back, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

The guys from Jackass pranked each other all the time. Look at those. They hate each other.

[John Holmberg]

The way he got him back was serve the Mac and cheese from the box. Brady really thought he nailed him.

[Brady Bogan]

But that's not true, Jack. It's not. All of them, like, Steve O. And. And Johnny Knoxville are good friends. We.

[John Holmberg]

Man, what are you missing about that? They know that they're in a prank world of, like.

[Brady Bogan]

I know, but he was just saying that the texter said that they hate each other, John.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they do. Some of them do some. That's what I said, but that's what I'm saying. Like, if you did it to someone, that wasn't part of the group. Yeah. If Steve O. Just all of a sudden started to kick me in the nuts, I'd be like, hey, hey, hey, I'm not one of yours. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That became a challenge.

[John Holmberg]

If he doesn't like me, that's a fight.

[Dick Toledo]

John, can we get Brady a new plaque? Brady Bogan, master of the long con.

[John Holmberg]

The 20 year your marriage will fail. Here you go.

[Brady Bogan]

Get back.

[John Holmberg]

And when. So when he called and said, yeah, it's not working out. We're getting a divorce. Like, gotcha, Frank. Yep. Okay. Good move. Good move, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

Tell the whole story. I know you helped them unload the trees into your own yard.

[Brady Bogan]

This is great prank.

[John Holmberg]

I'm getting a lot of emails saying there's no such thing as a gaboon spider.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what somebody else is saying, too.

[John Holmberg]

There's a kind viper.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a baboon spider.

[John Holmberg]

Baboon spider. That's what.

[Dick Toledo]

What people are saying here, too.

[John Holmberg]

So your zoo exhibit at home.

[Dick Toledo]

So the one you stole was the wrong one.

[Brady Bogan]

John. What about. Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I'm saying I don't know anything. You won't. John.

[Dick Toledo]

What about the Eggos in your yard that Fitz was throwing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If Fitz did it, I don't know who did that. But that was like, not a prank. I was going to call the cops. That was a weird thing to do. Somebody tossed Eggo waffles in my backyard once, and I was like.

[Dick Toledo]

For multiple days, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, it was like three or four days. I'd go out and there'd be three or four agos in the yard, and I'm like, what? But I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you ever find them?

[John Holmberg]

No, but Fitz. I think Fitz did it. And I think he did it after I said, I found Eggos the first time, and then he continued it.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

But I didn't once consider, ah, somebody's coming after, like, you know, pick up three or four Eggos.

[Dick Toledo]

And I didn't chase him down the.

[John Holmberg]

Alleyway, caught him, I'd have still called the cops and prosecuted. That's what Dr. Goldtooth should have a record. That was funny.

[Brady Bogan]

Good stuff.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to jail. What? It was a joke. Yeah, my joke is jail time.

[Dick Toledo]

See how we're laughing now?

[John Holmberg]

You don't with my dad's house. That's all.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll call Bunny, see how upset that she was when it happened. If she. Because I don't recall exactly how the cleanup happened.

[John Holmberg]

So you didn't clean it? No.

[Brady Bogan]

Either put him to the front of the street either.

[John Holmberg]

But you didn't clean it.

[Brady Bogan]

But I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't know nothing. So your friends threw trash in your dad's yard and someone else picked it up.

[Brady Bogan]

They might have come back.

[Dick Toledo]

Guy says so Brady's the redheaded kid from Can't Buy me Love. You asked on my house. You asked on my house?

[John Holmberg]

That's right. When the guy took a dump on his porch. Cuz it was a good one. Well, now I'm just going to do that just to, you know, galvanize our friendship. I'm going to come to your house, I'm going to. In your yard and I'm going to. Hey, it's just cuz we're friends.

[Brady Bogan]

That's trash, baby.

[John Holmberg]

For nothing like that. Not to where your family has to clean up and you have a bill at the end of it. You're right.

[Brady Bogan]

It was only a two foot.

[John Holmberg]

And that wasn't me. I was just in on it. I was like that's a good idea. And what did. And who called you see that's funny. Brady, pull the car over. Somebody stuck a two foot dildo on the side of your passenger. I did. So you're welcome. Before you hit the freeway and killed somebody with a dick.

[Brady Bogan]

You started thinking about what you did.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do it.

[Brady Bogan]

That better not go over there.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do it. I told someone it would be funny if it was done. And then the suction cup went on. And then I said well, what you really need to do is make sure that it's. I've always thought you said my involvement in that was. It was my dick. And I told them to move your passenger side mirror so you could see. So you couldn't see it.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

When you got in as a driver. Driver. So your passenger side mirror was tilted way up so you couldn't like look and see this.

[Brett Vesely]

Either way.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a prank.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And that's a pretty funny prank.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you get that person back too now?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. I was. No.

[Brady Bogan]

Did he? No.

[Brett Vesely]

Did he get that person back too?

[John Holmberg]

No, he was angry. I called.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know who the person was. I just put it on the.

[John Holmberg]

When it was his.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

When we saw you drive out of the parking lot and that giant thing was dangling off your car door, I will say hilarious. Hilarious.

[Dick Toledo]

I wish we'd have video or what?

[John Holmberg]

I said, guys, better call him. Gotta give him a call. Because if that falls off, flies through the air and kills a woman.

[Dick Toledo]

Funny story, but.

[John Holmberg]

So you got. I called. What? What's up, chief? Thank you. Need to pull your car over and look at your passenger door. Why would you do that? Come on. You guys are jerks.

[Brady Bogan]

Because that came from the magnet that I pulled.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there was a magnet on the back of my car for weeks of two Ohio State. No. 2 gay men in a black and white embrace. And it was hilarious. And that might have been on there for a month. I didn't see it. And then we put it on Collins car and it actually blended in because his car. And it lasted a year.

[Brady Bogan]

Kept on getting home.

[John Holmberg]

It kept moving. But yeah, I didn't know and I laughed hysterically. Now that's a prank. If it caught. Like if my tailgate fell off and I had a bill and my dad got involved. Not a prank. That's just vandals. That's family ready.

[Dick Toledo]

A prank is sending Mormons to John's house.

[John Holmberg]

Not 50 trees in your yard. Exactly. The Mormons rolling and not leaving is a good prank. Like you son of a bitch. Like that's. But boy, clean up Bill. The city gets involved. Not a prank anymore. They hated you. Nobody does that.

[Brady Bogan]

They love me.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get Dr. Gold Tooth on there. Does he still. Does he deny it?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

He says I threw those trees in your front yard, cuz.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I. Maybe he came back yesterday or the next day and they picked him up.

[John Holmberg]

You have no recollection. See, this is where the rose colored glasses and the whole just ignore it, it'll go away thing comes in.

[Dick Toledo]

I'd remember angry enough to chase them down the road, but not angry enough.

[John Holmberg]

To remember how remove somehow or another this will go away. It's called repression. Oh yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

We found out the next day.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a real clear story. Somebody's already superimposed you in underwear running past a bunch of old Christmas trees. That's Eaglesy.

[Brett Vesely]

Speaking of Brady's car.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. This guy says I do bulk pickup for waste management. If there are 50 trees at one house, we would be furious because all we have is pitchforks on our hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Villagers arrested.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is not a good thing for Waste management to say. Hey, hey. One stop shop.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

Gilbert, we have bobcats.

[John Holmberg]

And do you? Yeah, for when people dump all that stuff in your yard.

[Brett Vesely]

That's probably why he was having those issues at his new house the garbage men are getting back when they were throwing his cans.

[John Holmberg]

But that's not bulk pickup to just stumble across 50 trees out of the blue. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. It's out of control now, I guess. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I don't know about you guys, but knowing in my heart and head how uncertain the future is is daunting. Get smart, be less exposed, and go to Trajan Wealth. The team over there will make sure your future is at least certain as far as it comes to an estate plan in case life throws you a curveball. I wandered around until I was 49 without a will and trust. And once I did it, man, oh, man, a weight left my shoulders. If you're saying in your head, boy, I need to do this, then do it. Call Trajan Wealth. 480-990-3300. Leg profit through Trajan Estate Law Firm LLC. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and you hear me all the time talking about my friends at Lost Our Home Pet rescue. We do the pick of the litter and it's brought to you by our [e-mail] Every week I head over to Lost Our Home Pet rescue, and I meet a brand new beautiful animal that needs a home. The work they do at Loster Home is unbelievable. Not just your average pet shelter, that is for sure. They help people in a lot of situations. Look them up online lostorhome.org and check out everything we do at 98kupd.com in the pick of the litter section. The best of Holmberg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. This is also something that's big. A guy emailed me today. He says, hey, Holmberg. I just rekindled a relationship with a girl I was with five years ago. Always had the sparks. It worked, but we had to separate because of the distance we lived. That means I live far apart. She's someone who makes my knees buckle. She reached out to me a couple weeks ago, and we found that we still just melt each other. She's moved back. We got to talking. We're gonna meet today. The last thing she talked about was how into country music she is now. A lot. The last picture she sent me, she had a Brooks and Dunn T shirt on. On. What do I do? Kelly. Kelly, that's not the same girl that left you five years ago.

[Brett Vesely]

She's probably Hot, though.

[John Holmberg]

No, just dumb. She's retarded.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's illegal to date her. I don't think you can date those people if you're normal. I think you have to be one to date one. And I'm pretty sure that's why Country Thunder exists.

[Brady Bogan]

I have to. I have to find out how.

[John Holmberg]

If she's in a Brooks and Dun T shirt, it's too far. Brady, it's over.

[Brady Bogan]

She jumped into it.

[John Holmberg]

She's. She's one of them. And you don't want in. That, that is. You would never go to special ed as a normal and try to peel one out. That's the same thing. You can't. I'm sorry. God, I hate to. I hate to kill love, but if she's into country music to where she's wearing Brooks and Duns T shirts and that's what she's representing herself with in photos of. Here's what I look like now. It's been five years. What do you look like? Here's what. I haven't gained weight or anything. Here's me today, and it's a Brooks and Dunn T shirt. And then you asked, what's with the Brooks and Done T shirt? Oh, my God, I love country music now. I'd hit it again. You would? Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at. Look at the broads that go to the country.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know there's some good looking ones, but they're. He's in love, though. He's got the knee buckles and you don't want to love one. You'll go to jail for that, Brett. You're not allowed to love that. Them. That's illegal. People who are mentally challenged, us normals, can't go banging them. That's taking advantage of somebody who's not altogether there.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, how high of a priority is it for him?

[John Holmberg]

Guys, you're. You're missing the point.

[Brett Vesely]

I love great cans and a great, you know, I mean, chicken. A pair of them Rocky pants.

[John Holmberg]

Can you keep a heart on if she's like, turn the radio on. All right, Alexa, turn her radio on. That fish.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm here.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. I can't. Look, you're not getting hard with this going on in the background. You have a hard enough problem as it is. I'm here of age.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not gonna help, but I'll fight it.

[John Holmberg]

You might as well use a fish. It's gonna be harder.

[Brett Vesely]

What if Dua Lipa was in the country music?

[John Holmberg]

I was like, john, look, I get it. Everybody always throws the DUA at me. No.

[Brett Vesely]

Now, if. If Margot Robbie walked in, said, put on some Luke Bryant, I'd be like, no problem.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm in.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not taking that risk that protective services show up and say, what did you do to this mentally challenged lady?

[Brett Vesely]

Chance it.

[John Holmberg]

Not doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

As long as the rock thing is in that mix. Because there's a couple of things that.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you go yourself. You're cruising to get fired right now. You start defending this country music thing. It's the worst. And the people who listen to it aren't smart. They're dumb and hot and easy. No, they're not, because they're dumb. Right. There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

You just made my point.

[John Holmberg]

No. Easy and dumb, sore, mentally challenged people. And you wouldn't dare. Wrong. They're just in better bodies.

[Brady Bogan]

You're wrong.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not.

[Brady Bogan]

They're way more stronger. That's a red.

[John Holmberg]

That's good English right there. Thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

Way more.

[John Holmberg]

Way more. Maybe Brady's shouldn't have sex with a normal either. Country music probably appeals to you. Way more stronger. You can try to bang the country out of her, but she likes it too. But no. I'm sorry, Kelly. No.

[Brady Bogan]

What if.

[Brett Vesely]

What if DUA pulls a. A Beyonce and comes out with a country album?

[John Holmberg]

I realize that she's. Well, that's different because I understand why Beyonce did it. She looked around and she was.

[Brady Bogan]

Went.

[John Holmberg]

There's like a billion of these mentally challenged people that'll suck this album. I'm going to make a fortune off of them. She manipulated them and their money. It's wrong, but it's not like what Pearl in Paradise did. Stealing right from one in a parking lot when she. A couple years ago at the fries, when they took the bagger's wallet. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't. You don't physically manhandle the mentally challenged. And I'm sorry. That's what it is. She's in a Brooks and Dunn T shirt. It's not that hot. It just. It shows. It just might as well have a. She might as well wear a shirt that says IQ48. It's just not something. Oh, geez, that's sad. I'm just. I'm just put a helmet back on her and send her on her way and tell the government helper that she's probably required to be with, that she has to go home.

[Brady Bogan]

Could be a phase. You can break that face.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a phase, Brady. It's an illness. It's like telling Somebody with Down syndrome. It's a phase. It's not cured. It's not. Once it's in there, it stays. It's bad. Bad. And she's Brooks and Dunnan. That's not new stuff. She's diving into this. She's diving. Not old. It's right when it all started going R word anyway. You could. You could take my advice. You can take the boots. Good boogie. You have that pulled up good. Don't. The boot scooting boogie way down yonder in the chatter hoochie it gets hotter than a hoochie coochie. No, that's a mentally challenged person singing to other mentally challenged people. Let them live amongst themselves. Do not cross pollinate. Hey, you're pretty. You're sweet. Let's do baby makers. Let's do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Shorts. Cowboy boots.

[John Holmberg]

I tell you what. I don't know if it's the air, the music, or the cursed light, but I want to slap bellies with you. Hey, you're the most romantic man I've ever. I'm gonna peel off my Brooks and Dunn T shirt and show you where my baby baby feeders are. Looks like you get a couple kids. That left nipple's about the size of a number two pencil. Should have Dixon Ticonderoga written on the side of it. I don't care who you are. That's funny right there. Who you are. Who sing boots Coop boogie. Who sing it? That's Brooks and Dunn. Brooks and Dunn, that's who she's shirt wearing. Oh, this is just intolerable. Brain. Brain cells go to town and birds and scootin boogie. It's a deal breaker if a bar plays it. I'm like, let's go, we're up. What? No, because somebody's gonna get up and start doing that thing with their hand on their hips and they start the white people's slowest dance ever. Diggy bird, bird diggity diggy doodle doo all right, bandits, let's go. Chatter hoochie. It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie.

[Unknown Singer]

We laid rubber on the deer.

[John Holmberg]

Never passed a test. Don't know math. Can't read a note if you pass it to me twice. Dumb people like that. If you want to live in that world, go ahead, start banging all the R words you want, but I consider you a criminal. Those people are stupid and taking advantage of them. Just because they don't live in a Down syndrome body doesn't mean they don't have it.

[Brett Vesely]

Donovan once asked that guy, how long.

[John Holmberg]

Did it take her to relearn to.

[Brett Vesely]

Walker for that horrible head injury she had.

[John Holmberg]

Donovan is right. You are taking it. Look, brain damage is a terrible thing, and there's certain aspects of people who stay with someone who's brain damaged. That's beautiful. If they were married to him and something horrible happens and then you. Then the brain like mine goes, boy, I wonder if they still have sex with him. Because that would be wrong. Like, you get somebody who's got a massive head trauma, and they're like, that's my wife. Like, oh, his wife got smashed in the head by a I beam walking through a construction site. She's all goofed up. We stand with her. Oh, that's beautiful. People will say, oh, that's beautiful. That's love that won't die. And every once in a while, smacks her in the face, dries the drool off and rolls her over and does his business. And that's wrong. I got needs, baby over, please. I can't look at it. The dent in the back of her head. He's got to stare at that the whole time. If he pulls her hair at all, the prosthetic where her skull has been replaced kind of bubbles. It's wrong. Country music people are head trauma victims. So, Kelly, you go ahead. You go ahead and bang away on that. You're going to be in trouble. I don't know what you're smiling at. What's this one? Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't know what's going on around here. And you sure are pretty. I have down syndrome. I know. You're the smartest lady I've ever met. I'm thinking about getting my band back together. Do this song as a cover. I like hobbies. I like doing them cold. I wear covers. That's right. Got covered up.

[Brady Bogan]

Dale just texted.

[John Holmberg]

It's Dale. Hell, keep the country going. Best show ever. I rest my case. It should be illegal to have sex with Dale. Hel my mind now. Yeah, I. I don't even think Dale's married. I think his wife is a caretaker that he just thinks is a wife. I know, cowboy. You should save my horse. Oh, I just. I believe I just. My pants. We should move to Nashville now. Become a superstar.

[Brady Bogan]

He goes there, he meets her. There she is. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What do you chew? I'm into these new Zen, but I think they're kind of gay. Yeah, it's. They're mentally challenged. Human. Listen, All right, I've made my case. Go ahead, Kelly and Prediction won't be but a week before Kelly emails back and goes, she's too into it. When people swap out lifestyles, gotta find out. No, it's immediate. I had my friend Kurt, he's a normal dude, suddenly started to show up in cowboy hats in the costume. My dad did it. He started wearing the costume. What are you doing? You're in public. Like, I like country music. Now I gotta wear the. Why are you dressing the part? You're not going on stage.

[Brady Bogan]

Is he still wearing it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he lives in Texas now. It's even. It's even worse. Although through my ridicule, he normalizes amongst the people. So he'll come to my house. He's not gonna wear any of that nonsense. And the worst part is my dad looks like John Wayne. Like, he used to have a cardboard cut out of John Wayne in his cab. And I'd walk in on occasionally, like, Jesus, because it looks like him. And I didn't realize that until I saw this. And I'm like, that looks a lot like. And the worst thing you can tell my dad is, you know, with a cowboy hat on, you look just like John Wayne. He'll run and grab a cowboy hat. My dad went through a phase of liking Jimmy Buffett. I think he might have been like, he thought I was gay.

[Brett Vesely]

Jimmy Buffett. There's no excuse.

[John Holmberg]

Buffett. And then country music. I don't remember him. Haven't checked out lately. I mean, well, we've. Yeah, we've talked about dementia and Alzheimer's because there's definitely a brain trauma going on. He remembers all the words, but he knows better. We go to dinner and stuff. He dresses like a human being. He doesn't show up in dusters or anything weird.

[Brady Bogan]

Torp went through a first one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, we were that close, Brett. It got to the point where I go to his house, and he's in full gear, like this giant coach, the thing I wore for Halloween. He'd looked at that and go, where'd you get that? Yeah. Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

There was a time my dad went through a phase. I mean, he didn't like the mute. I mean, it wasn't in the country music, but for some reason, it. Maybe it was the John Wayne factor. Or he would go to, you know, let's go to Rod's Western palace or what was the big Sabers. Sabers. And he would get the vest, a.

[John Holmberg]

Cowboy hat, and he started to toy with the idea that he had an alter ego, though. It's almost like dressing up like Batman. It's a costume. Country music that is a deal breaker for me, especially if you're trying to rekindle what you remembered. If you go back in time, like, my God, she was the love of my life, like, just a few years ago. And we. We didn't break up because we didn't get along. We broke up because she had to live in, like, Tulsa and I had to live in Oregon. Couldn't make it work, so we just went our separate ways. It's the Dolly Parton, Whitney Houston song. I will always love you. They still love each other. They just can't be together. They're too far apart. And then they find a way. I'm moving back. I'm going to be in the city with you. And they. You can. If it never ended the first way, I think you can. I think it's not going back for seconds. You can't have a disaster and then come back. I don't think. I think that's a good.

[Brady Bogan]

No. There's always chemistry.

[John Holmberg]

There's always a thing. It's like, we didn't break up because we didn't want to be together. Together. We broke up because life pushed us apart. And here they are, they're finding it together, and she shows up in a Brooks and Dunn shirt. She's a different person now. You lost her. You lost your angel. Because what he's going to be doing is comparing.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm still. I still have to find out. I'd be. I'd always be curious, like, how bad is it?

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, tap it one more time.

[John Holmberg]

I'd rather bang someone with STDs, because at least they're. They're not our STDs and country music. Just get in the box. Box.

[Brett Vesely]

Bring out the gim.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I. I want to tap dance around the whole subject, but I think what, like, Mar Kelly situation is actually beautiful. Like, what he's got, like, that's a. What a horrible tragedy that occurred with his wife and stuff. Why?

[Brett Vesely]

Because she's wearing a Slayer shirt and not a Brooks and Dun shirt.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

You know Mark Kelly's wife. Yeah, I know. Not in a Slayer shirt. But if she was, it would be off putting, wouldn't it? Like, if Gabby showed up in a Slayer shirt. I'm like, mark, what are you doing? Like, get that out of her closet. She's singing. You know, Seasons in the Abyss. They're like, you're a little bit. But you. Do you think about how beautiful that is? Because from the outside, that's it. But you're hoping deep down inside there's no physical connection between the two of them.

[Dick Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You know, when I think of astronaut Mark Kelly doing that to somebody who's in her condition, and I know that's their own private world, but I'm saying we don't need to worry. We don't need to think about that because it's like, ah, uncomfortable. But she's in much better condition than most country music fans. She's a smart, functioning human being. They're the ones who knock each other over and Porta Johns and laugh for months about. Go ahead. Okay. How in the world am I wrong? How do people. How am I wrong?

[Unknown Singer]

Just the other night made me feel just fine I grabbed my honey baby and I pinched her old behind oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

That's not real. That isn't a real thing. People bought that.

[Unknown Singer]

It makes me feel so good.

[John Holmberg]

Go after yourself. This dude's got millions.

[Unknown Singer]

It makes me feel so good.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we get it.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's the guy?

[John Holmberg]

Gotta X him it. Which is how he signs his whole name. Just an X. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard that one. I didn't even know that was a thing. All right. I apologize to mentally challenged people for comparing you to country music fans. I had no idea they were much worse. Lustre is. He's still singing it.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he's out there doing two step right now.

[John Holmberg]

String makes me feel so good. We get it. Is it on a loop?

[Brady Bogan]

The same.

[John Holmberg]

It's over and over and over. Goes into the harmonica solo.

[Unknown Singer]

It's a cure all, too. Cures, fits, warts, freckles, coughs, colds, runny nose, guaranteed not to run. Rip Runner snag makes conception a wonder and childbirth a pleasure.

[John Holmberg]

That's Copenhagen.

[Unknown Singer]

Copenhagen. It makes me feel so good I'm gonna kill myself.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna kill myself knowing I share the freeways with that. Somebody out there is listening to that, enjoying that. And in charge of a 2 ton moving piece of metal because they legally are allowed to drive, which they shouldn't be. Holy simoleons. I had no idea. You're welcome. I had no idea. Wow. Okay. That threw me. I didn't know that was. I didn't know human beings could be that stupid. Copenhagen. That ain't my brand. Go. Makes me feel better than Chris feels when it shoots Copenhagen again.

[Brett Vesely]

He had a song called Copenhagen angel too. I think it talks about a chick who dips. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What a classy broad. Nothing I love than a chick slobbering out black spit.

[Unknown Singer]

Well, I was sitting in A bar.

[John Holmberg]

Still singing about it. This song's 12, 15 seconds max of life and he's made it five or six minutes. I was removed from a facility for spitting on the floor. Can you believe it? Yes. Adults don't spit on a floor.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently Dale went crazy on Copenhagen.

[John Holmberg]

Kelly. Kelly the emailer. Maybe Brett's right. Right. I'll concede. Give her one last run with the knowledge your knees no longer buck buckle and your heart no longer flutters. She's. She's not for you anymore. I'm worried most about Kelly catching it because he's going to go there. His knees will buckle because he remembers her. He. He'll. He'll have his heart pumped and his chest pound like a swap chew. And. And she'll say something like. Listen to this song for a second. It's my favorite one now. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know what the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you used to listen to. We used to listen to tool together.

[Brett Vesely]

This is the bucking machine.

[Unknown Singer]

But the dang dis contraption that I've ever seen is that bucket of bolts called a buck in machine.

[John Holmberg]

It confuses him. He doesn't even know the name of the mechanical bull. What? That bucket machine over there. Bucket of bolts. A bucket machine. That's what we call it. We ain't never figured out the name neither.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got a trilogy of Copenhagen songs. Copenhagen.

[John Holmberg]

Copenhagen angel and Copenhagen Junkie and Copenhagen Infant.

[Brady Bogan]

He's talking about his girlfriend. The bucking machine.

[John Holmberg]

My baby gave me the greatest gift of all when she opened her legs and out come her honey ho. My baby boy.

[Brett Vesely]

There's Copenhagen Angel.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means. We put some Copenhagen in that infant's mouth. A pinch between his cheek and toothless.

[Unknown Singer]

Gums of just one hand. She acts mean and she cusses. I know she wished she were a man. She got her teeth knocked out by a bucking horse. And when I told her that it made her look tough.

[John Holmberg]

He likes her.

[Unknown Singer]

She just grinned and said, I like it that way. And then she loaded up her lip with snub.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, this dude just said that the woman's teeth were kicked out by a horse. And then she later said, I like it that way.

[Unknown Singer]

Yeah, it's not funny. She's my red fox. Brusho.

[John Holmberg]

Not that red fox.

[Unknown Singer]

She can ride a burr by car horse. And she can really hook it to a bone.

[John Holmberg]

What that does. That's.

[Brady Bogan]

That's.

[Brett Vesely]

What is that? Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Quit arguing with me about this country music thing. Let's see what Copen jump It must.

[Brett Vesely]

Be like Return of the Jedi.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, it is. It's the. It's. It's the.

[Brett Vesely]

The trilogy.

[John Holmberg]

It's the Ward Gotti trilogy in boxing. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened.

[Unknown Singer]

Well, I've never been afraid of much and never thought I'd need a crutch to help me.

[John Holmberg]

This is about putting one in a baby's mouth. There.

[Unknown Singer]

But there's one thing I can't do without, and Copenhagen's what I got.

[John Holmberg]

This dude is just. He's the biggest corporate shill I've ever heard in my life. He's got a life. Lifetime supply of Copenhagen. Out of this garbage. I do it. Chris. The doo doo doo doo. I heard you. It's Bernie Mason.

[Brett Vesely]

May Mason, and just said Chris will do on kupd. Is the sun exploding in eight minutes or what?

[John Holmberg]

We got eight minutes to live. Thank God.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, now we're getting requests.

[John Holmberg]

This one. Done.

[Brett Vesely]

Keep your hands off my pbr. Hang on, I gotta find it. I gotta find this one.

[John Holmberg]

People shouldn't be allowed on the freeways. We should build special roads for them. They're not human.

[Brett Vesely]

This is from Scuzz Twiddly.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know who this is. Hang on. Get your hand up. My PBR says it's explicit, so I.

[Brett Vesely]

Don'T know where you.

[John Holmberg]

So just be good. God damn.

[Brady Bogan]

You can spit on my pickup truck.

[Unknown Singer]

On my mall lousy.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow. Leave a flaming bag of dope outside my trailer door.

[Unknown Singer]

But don't go messing with my pap's blue ribbon. Cause then you gone way too far. Keep your hands.

[Brady Bogan]

Keep your hands off my pbr.

[John Holmberg]

Alright.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, you may have turned me on this one. Yeah, that was like maybe one last run.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm telling you, if she put that on Kelly, I don't care how. If Dua Lipa threw that on and said, make love to me. No, you're.

[Brett Vesely]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. You are. You wouldn't like this.

[Brett Vesely]

Brian said. And yet states have higher education systems than us that produce this music.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. God damn it. Way to put it back in perspective, Brian. It hangs right there on my pbr. What happens to their voices?

[Brady Bogan]

Get over here. Bucking machine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Do you know. You know how close it is as a person who does a couple voices to go from this guy right here. How you doing? To this guy right here. It's the same place. They live in the same place. I like country music. I like country music, too. Me and the boys. Think about calling each other. Get the band back together. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio.

[Brady Bogan]

Trajan wealth has made retirement planning simple. It's Brady from HMS and it's one of the many reasons that I'm a client with Trajan Wealth. Call Trajan wealth, schedule a complimentary consultation at 480-378-0700 or check out trajanwealth.t R A J A N wealth.com it's time to put your retirement plan together. Give Trading Wealth a call to ensure you're making the right financial moves for your future. Trades and wealth your local trusted financial fiduciary advisory services through Trades and Wealth llc. SEC registered Investment Advisor Client Paid Advertisement.

[John Holmberg]

Additional disclosures@trajan wealth.com It's John Holmberg here along with Brett Vesley from the Morning Sickness to tell you about Action Ride Shop.

[Brett Vesely]

John, we always rave about Action Ride Shop because of the awesome selection of bikes and bike accessories. But what about being a couple of snow bunnies this year?

[John Holmberg]

Are you saying you want advantage of Action Ride Shop skis and snowboards?

[Brett Vesely]

Why not? Josh and the boys got us into mountain biking.

[John Holmberg]

You know what, Brett? Let's do it. At Action Ride Shop. You can get all your ski and snowboard needs covered for the upcoming winter season.

[Brett Vesely]

Head to Action Ride Shop on Gilbert Road just north of the 60 or their new store on Power Road and McDowell.

[John Holmberg]

Action rideshop.com Holy. Here's how I know country music is for really stupid people. You ever seen the movie Sling Blade?

[Brady Bogan]

Sure have.

[John Holmberg]

Sling Blade outsmarted everyone in the movie. At the end, his plan got him. Sling Blade dodged their system one after the other. He was the smartest one in the movie. Except the kid. The kid was the second smartest one in the movie. And the homosexual John Ritter was the one that was living amongst them, realizing how stupid they were at all times. But kind of hiding Sling Blade outsmarted Dwight Yocum. I rest my case. And I kind of like Dwight Yoakum because he's old. Rock and roll. He would never sing get your hands off my pbr. That dude sings about stuff. Oh, come on.

[Unknown Singer]

He's still blue.

[John Holmberg]

So if you see me down at.

[Unknown Singer]

The tavern bellied up to the bar, Keep your hands, keep your hands off my pbr.

[John Holmberg]

Literally. You could stay hard for this with Margaret.

[Brett Vesely]

I said, you may be turning me on this one.

[Brady Bogan]

That's. That's what I'm saying. You find out she's got that pbr. That's. That's the deal breaker.

[Brett Vesely]

She's a real class.

[John Holmberg]

Brooks Adams says dabble in it. Hook knows who dresses up in Steeler gear with a game jersey making fun of his dad for wearing western clothes to a country bar. Put me in, coach. I'm not making fun of him for wearing the costume to a country bar. I'm making fun of him for wearing it to Safeway. I'm making fun of him for wearing it to a not country bar. If I wandered around in my Steelers gear, you know, a non game day to like some event, like I'm hosting the Sit Stay brunch on set. If I showed up in Steeler, I'd be like, this is weird. Why are you in the football uniform? It's not Halloween. That's the difference. Brooks Adams. And I am making fun of my dad because he'll show up in that on nights we're supposed to go to like, l' Amour or some. Why are you dressed like you're going to wrangle dogies? It's just how I dress. No, it's not. This is a costume. You're in a city. Take that off. Dodogies about to take us out and it's nighttime. You don't need the hat. I like the hat. No, you don't. Take that off. Go get the shirt with the arrows on it. Have to go. We'll put a normal adult boy shirt on.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I can't play any Wheeler Walker.

[John Holmberg]

So no, we don't like any of that. But that proves my point even further. Anyway, Kelly, thanks for the email. You can take Brady's advice and look past it and have sex with a mentally challenged human being, which is illegal in 47 states. Or you can take my advice, just say, you know what? The memories of her are much better than what's coming your way. So sad.

[Brett Vesely]

And now you figure. Now you figured out why we dropped a 50th place.

[John Holmberg]

All right, and here's the country thunder. Country thunder is not helping. Here's the other thing. I like Elsa from Frozen. And I think a woman that looks like Elsa is ridiculously hot. So let's say I rekindled a relationship with someone from years ago. Let's put ourselves in Kelly's shoes years ago and we had knee buckling connection that just didn't work. And then now she's back, but she shows up dressed as Elsa and she's got Disney posters all over the place and she's got this weird thing going on. It's. It's a mental derangement to wear the.

[Brady Bogan]

Outfit just out of curiosity again.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I, I want to see it.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, as far as that doesn't mean it goes any farther, but I'm meeting her.

[John Holmberg]

I'd go to lunch with her.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she could order a and see if she gets that disabled person's discount. She's an idiot. I think that's 10% off. What do you mean? Oh, like legally, her IQ's dropped to where she's wearing Brooks and Dunn shirt and stuff, so she's not. She's gotta go. Man, oh, man. This one says, thanks, John. Now I'm more dumb. Yep. This week it says, country music is actually quite awesome. This is from Shan Man. Our Shan man. No, I don't think so.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Says you can't hate all country because of a few bad songs. I love Metallica, but their POTS album is fresh. Yeah. It doesn't mean all. Again, we live in a world without nuance. I'm not saying all rock music is fantastic and all country music's bad, but on the whole, the people who like country music are all retarded. I think that's an essay. If you're dressing up to do it. I mean, I think insane clown tossy people are equally weak. Weird. Like, if you wear the Juggalos. How dare you? If you're in a costume to go to a music show and it's like a lifestyle that you're not gonna just wear at the show. You're gonna sometimes paint up and go over to the Denny's, then you're nuts.

[Brett Vesely]

What about the guys wearing KISS outfits.

[John Holmberg]

And oh, my God, makeup?

[Brett Vesely]

At the shows?

[John Holmberg]

At the show. Maybe I'll forgive it, but it's still a little much. You take it outside of the show. Cuckoo. But that's what country music people do. I get it. You're wearing your duster and you want to dress up like a cowboy at a show. It's weird, but okay. But the second you leave and it's Tuesday and there is no show and you're still in the outfit and you work like you work at Best Buy, you got no dogies. There's no reason for the gear was functional.

[Brady Bogan]

Blue shirt.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

The cowboy hat and the Best Buy blue shirt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. But in case dogies roll through the this is a nice phone sign here. But in case there's dogies, just know I've got my hat and I won't burn my neck. Why are you wearing the hat? It's my lifestyle. Your lifestyle is the best part.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Mm. Not getting it. But if somebody Was a big captain hook fan and walked around with a hook as a hand all the time. And there was no like cosplay. You'd consider that person crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. But a T shirt is not to.

[John Holmberg]

That getting there first step, then the next step is did he see it on a poster?

[Brady Bogan]

Sid show a picture of her in the shirt.

[John Holmberg]

She sent him a picture.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I'm just thinking if you had a girl years ago, you had chemistry and all of a sudden she sees you in, you know, your Manilow shirt or your Britney shirt.

[Brett Vesely]

But that's a joke.

[John Holmberg]

I'm joking.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know that. Maybe she's joking.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a very funny joke though. A man dressed in a Britney shirt is funny money immediately. Especially like everybody thinks I'm a white supremacist. That's hilarious.

[Brady Bogan]

Air supply.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Air Supply. Air Supply. And it's a good looking sweatshirt.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

John's line is ass off.

[Brett Vesely]

A dua lipo stand in front of him in a Dwight Yokin bikini blasting Travis Tritt. He'd be erupting like Mount St. Helens.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Do is a tough one.

[Brady Bogan]

That's easy.

[John Holmberg]

But if she's playing Travis Tritt and I've got images of Travis Tritt, My face hurts. Cause the sun's up. They're like, oh no, I can't listen to this. Why can't we listen to her music? If you want to run away with me.

[Brett Vesely]

I know that Travis Trish.

[Brady Bogan]

Travis Trit's more of a southern rocker.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that I know how he sounds. But right now it's not good. We're about to start.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't so bad.

[Brady Bogan]

He toured with Charlie Daniels. Having fun now.

[Brett Vesely]

You'd hit do it with that one.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe do it gets nailed on that one. Still not dressing up. I mean, it's no Copenhagen, but you know, thank God. Oh my God. Well, Kelly, it's up to you.

[Brady Bogan]

You.

[John Holmberg]

But you've created quite a debate around here. I'm right. Having sex with somebody. Brain damage is illegal. That's all I'm saying. Do it all you want. I just hope you don't get caught because it ain't right.

[Brett Vesely]

So Raiders fans were like country fans, right?

[John Holmberg]

If you had a. If you had a lady who's a raiders fan, she came over in the silver and black face paint and it's Wednesday. What are you doing? Just a huge fan. I love it this stuff. Stop it. Take that off. Said Nathan Sutherland's listening this morning and he wants to change his plea to not guilty. He's using the Holmberg defense. Your honor. I had no idea she was mentally challenged. I thought she just loved country music. I've met these people. They're all the same. Mr. Sutherland, you are free to go. Not guilty. She was a better conversationalist, Nathan's girlfriend than most country people. Rather have a chat with her. You heard that song about Copenhagen? Copenhagen, angel and Copenhagen baby. Angel and Copenhagen. Babies who love angels. Yuck. Poor lady. I did like when Dua Lipa dressed up as a cowgirl in that one video. But she sang her song and all she did was sexy rock. What do they call that? That bucket machine. She sexy, wrote it and then did that. I don't not find it sexy for a girl to be in a cowboy costume. I find it Rocky's jeans and stuff like that. Yeah. Once they leave the house in the costume to go somewhere that isn't country related, I find it crazy. I love the Steelers. And occasionally during a game, I'll put a helmet on. If I leave the house to go to dinner with the helmet on on, suddenly I'm special. It's a fine line. Actually, not that fine a line. It's pretty well defined. Why are you in a helmet? Big fan. Oh, he can't control it. Dude was pretty hot. And if you ever watch her in that video where she's doing she's walking around the cowboy hat.

[Brett Vesely]

But what about Buffett fans? You know, when they're not at the show, walking around in Tommy Bahama and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Buffett fans are just blaming blank people. I wouldn't even say they're dumb. They're just blank, uninteresting human beings. They're everybody's corporate boss. Yeah, but it's just Hubble, Hubble. They have nothing to say. Buffett fans have no interesting stories. They're boring human beings. They let some weird mayonnaise man sing about margaritas and cheeseburgers. Yeah, and he expresses that. Oh, it's just great. I like those thing like they're just boring. It's out of control. Now.

[Brett Vesely]

It'S Brett and John for action ride shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

The new location is your east valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain Giant Norco. And of course, Action ride shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental flee with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and e bikes.

[Brett Vesely]

Action Ride shop now with two locations. The brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com come on.

[Brady Bogan]

Down to the Ranch House Grill.

[Brett Vesely]

Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak.

[John Holmberg]

Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[Brett Vesely]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

Ranch House Grill has been voted best.

[Brett Vesely]

Breakfast four years in a row.

[John Holmberg]

We're famous for our chicken fried steak.

[Brett Vesely]

Pork chili verde and large portions.

[John Holmberg]

Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix. At 56th street and Thomas Road. The best of the morning sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The best of Homburg's Morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

This segment brought to you guys by mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Now, whatever you looking for, it doesn't matter. If it's electronics, jewelry, tools, pretty much. You name it, they got it there. All right, check them out online at mo money pawn.com or like I said, just go to the store and check them out. 12th street in Indian School, it's Mo Money Pond.

[John Holmberg]

Then I got this one. And the subject line is flaming out bro. Flamin out, bro. There's a Listen to your rant this morning about the Rah Rah room. Starting to sound like the demise of Howard Stern when he started hanging out with all of his celebrity friends and abandoned the common man. Flaming out bro. Brian. Yeah, the difference is I always said that's what I wanted. Howard acted like he didn't want that. That's awesome. If I can hang out with Matt Ishbia and not Brady, I'm doing it. Let me tell you.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, you'll learn, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, let me tell you something. Like you're the common man right there in the name. I'm bored and I don't. I want an uncommon man. Why in the world would I. If I could hang out with Jennifer Aniston or Brett, what do you think I'm going on vacation with? I'm not an idiot. Is that right, Red Robin? Am I right? Yum. I mean, if I've got a. Look, if I've got a. In other words, if. If Baba bastard and I are hanging out together, Matt Ishby says, come here, but don't bring that guy you Think I'm gonna be loyal to Toledo? That's insanity. Of course not. Me and Kimmel and Aniston, we're going on the beach. We're gonna have vacations. I go with Brady. I gotta stay at a days in and share a room. That sounds horrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yum.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Red Robin. You think I would breadle juice on my trips? I'm not doing that. Not taking you. The rah rah rah room. It's a high class group of people, Fred. I don't want you in there. You can muck it up for me. I've been working really hard. In other words, no. Toledo comes in, Baba bastard comes in, he starts saying, hey, maybe get in there and get a father figure. That's the last thing I need is him walking table to table. Of course I want high class friends. That's what we're after. Whoever has the goal of medium people, I don't want to meet too nice a guy. A common man will do. No, thank you. I spent a lot of time with the common man. It's not that great. Leave it up, bro. It's like when Stern started hanging out with all those celebrities. Why wouldn't he? If you were Howard Stern. That's one thing he gets a knock for all the time. That I don't blame him for. Now he did set himself up by saying I like never be part of that. He was always making fun of the Hollywood thing and all the stars were too self important. And then. But then you have to remember Howard Stern got like $250 million in a day when he sold his stock at XM. You don't want to hang out with a common man with that kind of cash. Cuz then the common man always wants you to pay for everything.

[Brady Bogan]

It's tough.

[John Holmberg]

Got to start hanging around people of your own ilk. And start hanging around with what? Old Jerry. Great. Last thing I want to do is go to Applebee's with the common man. I could be in the raw by room and avoid him completely. I see the common man. He's at Walmart. I try not to go. Have it all delivered. Flame it out, bro. You don't want to hang out with us? No, you're right. When did I ever make that unclear? Hanging out with. I don't like hanging out with anybody. Tripp can go. I like Trip. He sometimes foots the bill. That awkward, weird common man stare you get when the bill shows up. He doesn't even reach. Am I wrong, Red Robin? No, thank you. Yeah, she gets it. Red Robin gets sort of gets it. But I'm not sure I ever get through to you. Baba. Bastards. Nowhere to be found. And that makes sense. I mean, we're flaming out, but that it's good. If I'm flaming out and you're not there, that's great. Me and Ashby can flame out together on an island. Ashby. Sorry, I forgot his name. Oh, my God. I met Matt Ashby. It's not even the same. I'm an idiot. You can compare me to Stern all you want. The dude's got hundreds of millions of dollars. I'll take it. You're flaming out, bro. If you go to the Rah Rah room for five seconds and tell me you want to hang out with a riff raft you're normally with, you're insane. Like, the last thing you want to do, it's like. It's like bone and Margot Robbie and then going back to your fat wife like, ah, nuts. There's a better life out there, and I'm not part of it. Yeah. John Rom, Matt Ishbia, Kevin Rayer and I are standing like, this is a room of beautiful people. I do not belong here. Doing it like a sore thumb. But then they know if you're in there, there's something you're not a commoner. That's why they call you guys a commoner. It's horrible. What an insult. If I wanted to talk to you, I'd tell you. You yell at him, but then I'd have to spend time with you at Garcia. Of course. No one wants to be. Nobody's goal is to be just the average common man. Is it? Stern made the mistake of saying he hated the idea of being a celebrity. Hated the idea of doing all that stuff. I get emails like that a lot talking about that stuff. You know, we can't relate to it. Exactly. I'm introducing you to a world you'll never know. Me and Jennifer Aniston were out the other night just talking. Just because he'll call every once in a while. People hate that.

[Brady Bogan]

Only can think of that wants that goal is Springsteen. He's always.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Springsteen's always tried to be the common man with his father. Flying my private jet to your house, not let you in it. By the way, I'm a common man and I'm for you. That's why tickets to my show are $480 minimum. That's when you know, two, three, four hundred dollars a ticket. Do these guys not realize that for $20 you get in, but you also have to buy two drinks. There's a minimum. This is going to set these people back months. He's not wrong. If you had to save up 20 bucks to go to the show, I am the first one to tell you, do not go to this show. Buckle down. Talk to go to Dave Ramsey's next show.

[Brett Vesely]

Rice and beans.

[John Holmberg]

And when Dave Ramsey comes in and does Ramsay after Dark. Save up for that. I'm gonna do Stern all morning. Screw it.

[Brady Bogan]

But then you're gonna have $160 worth of Ramsey stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just tuning in late. Did I hear there's a show called Homburg with the darks? Oh, my God. This is. I want to hear Stern talk crap about Pratt. Well, this isn't a. You're not writing the show dance. I like your Stern. Now talk. Now do this. It's like a dominatrix. Now do this. I don't even know Dave Pratt. Because you know why? He's a commoner. He's less than. I'm not getting in the muck with him. Yuck. Am I wrong? Red Robin? Yum. Thank you. Where is Baba Bastard? Is he not putting anything? What did he do? Did he leave? Rattle juice. Find Baba bastard and get him in here so I can tell him he can't be in the rah rah room to his face. I like that stuff because I always. I. I think about that a lot. I go into the rah rah room and all that stuff that was going on, I used to years ago go, I can't talk about this. People think I'm. But now I'm like, I don't. This is awesome. People need to know about this. This is incredibly cool. And I know what it's like to be Toledo because I was in there. I was the least important person in the room. I felt Toledo ish the whole time when I was in there. Like, God, I'm invisible. But yeah, Stern did start talking.

[Brady Bogan]

Just the fact that you're the member and you're walking in there and you're treating. Because stabbings is no. Oh, you're the guest of him.

[John Holmberg]

He's classy looking. I'm not. I walk in there, they just say, hey, sir, can I get another drink? I'm like, I don't work here. What do you mean you don't work here? You get me. Of course you do. I don't. I'm actually a member. He's my guest. The good looking, rich looking one. You've seen him, Red Robin. He's. He looks good. Yeah, yeah. Imagine Brett Me walking into a hoity toity place like that with Red Robin under my arm, and people will kick us out just on sight. You can't bring these people in. They're this drooling moron. There's people trying to eat, complaining about the prices on the menu. Come on. Somebody suggested I have a contest. We do a tap that app, and the winner gets to go into the rah rah Ra with me.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't want to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Of course I don't want to do that. That's a crapshoot. That's. That's like saying, hey, throw a dart in Walmart. Whoever it lands on lives with you for a day. That'd be horrifying. Did you imagine that? You could get lucky, but you could also get real unlucky. I get David Vasquez showing up at the house, and the next thing you know, I'm on the news. I didn't say any of those words. He did. All right, it's time to play dart into the Walmart. The lucky catch of this gets to stay at my house for a day because I'm an idiot. That's not a bad idea, to be honest with you. The commoner Holmberg treats a commoner. Let's just call it. Let's make it the worst possible thing is. Yeah. Holmberg takes a lesser to the rah rah rule. You tap that. I'm gonna talk to him.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't stare Mr. Holmberg in the eyes.

[John Holmberg]

Don't talk to him. Now, look, you need to behave. John will take you to a game. That's not a bad idea. I take an unfortunate to the rah rah rule.

[Brett Vesely]

That's balls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, is that ever ball? You should go to the zoo and just grab someone. It's like human trafficking, only they volunteered. Dregs can win. Dreg society unite. I'm gonna throw a dart out into the pig palace and pull one out. I'm gonna treat it like a human for a day. All right, listen up, dregs. It's another contest just for you. Hilarious, actually. Not bad now that I'm thinking about it. It's a lot better than that. Ah, that second show that we're not having. The demand is there. Can we do one for the R words? John Holmberg on the spectrum that I actually would be thrilled to do. That audience would. I'd be laughing so hard at that. Anyway, so I'm sorry to Brian, although I do know he was kind of elbowing me in the side there with the flaming Out. Bro. He said it. Wife. But it is sort of that. Look, I get it. The Raha room's not for everybody. I am. I am talking about a very unique situation. Why not? Pretty awesome. Tripp and I'll go. I'll have Trip talk about it. Yeah, that's fine. I was gonna take. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I can't stop. Ready? Now it's. Now it's stuck. We might as well just do the whole thing like this. Yeah. What would. What would Red Robin do his company.

[Brady Bogan]

Up in a little bit. Yum.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. And trying to get to get a top off this time. Hey, Red Random. Let's go to the Rah Rah room and you flash your beef to everybody and we'll see how fast everybody gets either excited or we get kicked out. And brattle juice, you have to drive the getaway car. And I mean fast. It's out of control. Now.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Brady from hms And I would always hear guys talk about their testosterone levels, but I didn't know much more than that. That changed when I went to the Game day men's health clinic and found out what my testosterone level was. Game day's on site lab was quick and easy. And I found out that I was an ideal candidate for testosterone treatment. Game Day offers other men's health solutions like hgh, peptide therapy and sexual health treatments. All you have to do is visit one of the 12 game day men's health clinics in the valley or check out gamedaymenshealth.com it's time. Get back in the game.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangealone.com I am so proud of myself. I just talked someone out of thinking that a 40 year home loan is a good idea. 40 years? What if I told you you can cut that loan down to around five years? Most life change alone clients do that. What if I told you you'd save about $250,000 in interest? Most life changer loan clients do that. And those are just the averages. Some people, me included, save a ton more. You got to check it out. Lifechangerloan.com it's the way it should be. There's no catch. There's no guilt. It's simple. It's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Cease and desist at once. The best of homework's morning sickness. This is the Big Red radio. It's time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining news he knows. We call this the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Not to be a scare fear monger, but I saw in the news yesterday, yesterday a guy passed away from an unprovoked knife attack in downtown Phoenix. And when they tried to figure out what had happened, a dude just got up, started mouthing off to another guy. That dude didn't recognize that the dude he was talking to was not. Someone's gonna hear him. He was nuts. He was in his own world, threw a couple of knives on him and next thing you know, he's gone. And there's nothing wrong with being prepared. Your mindset will change the second you start going to react to defense because when you're there, you'll realize, you know what? That is a smarter thing. And having somebody approach me who I don't know, fighting them proves nothing except for I'm stupid and I might get killed by a crazy person. You just don't know. Anyway, so just to keep your eyes open, the news will tell you every once in a while it's like, you know, it's never a bad idea to learn how to protect yourself. And in the worst case scenario, if you do have to fight, boy, it's a good idea to learn to punch and learn to defend yourself. Learn how to defend against something crazy. Crazy's out there there. Not saying it's going to happen to you, but if it did, would you know what to do? Become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep and do it for 89 bucks for an entire month of training. That is outstanding. Reactdefense.com that's the home of tactical black Brady entertainment.

[Brady Bogan]

94 year old Tony Bennett battling Alzheimer's disease. He was actually diagnosed in 2016. He's handing them out. His wife Susan says the family decided to come forward because he. He's incapable of understanding the disease. But he does recognize Susan and some other family members and they said he's actually pretty good. His penis comes over.

[John Holmberg]

His what?

[Brady Bogan]

His penis comes over.

[John Holmberg]

What pianist there it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Said that the first time I left my. I forgot Comes over twice a week and they have a 90 minute session. Tony knocks it out of the park.

[John Holmberg]

Really? So he's got all the songs still?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And so basically, according to CBS this Morning, he and Lady Gaga are gonna do a second joint album.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. All right, transvestite, it's your turn to sing. I'm Lady Gaga. I don't Remember you? I left my heart in San Francisco. Sing talking albino. This polar bear is gonna talk to you. Next bottle of champagne for the whole fish. Front row. Well, that's Sad. But Tony's 96.

[Brady Bogan]

94, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

It's the same thing. Your 90s. You're not. You're in your 90s. They shouldn't even count year by year anymore. You're just in your 90s. It doesn't really matter what happens to you in your 90s. You're just. It's just. It's. It's time. There's no reason why it's only 94. Nobody ever said that his best years were ahead of him. Just make it not hurt. Just. Just make it not hurt. You're all done? Yeah. You're not going to invent anything. You're not going to accidentally stumble across a great idea. The best is behind you. Just try to not make it hurt.

[Dick Toledo]

Ray says John, will you ask Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know why I'm doing it this way. If he would go to the great white shark petting zoo at the Odyssey Aquarium out there off the 101.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, this guy and you aren't talking, so I'll ask. Would you go to the great white petting zoo off of that 101 and whatever.

[Brady Bogan]

Been there.

[John Holmberg]

Already done. Did you go to pet the sharks?

[Brady Bogan]

No, they didn't let me pet the sharks. But I've been in the Odyssey. But it wasn't that option.

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't let me.

[Brady Bogan]

But I was. You know.

[John Holmberg]

And then. Did it end like it normally does when you go to aquarium? Sir, please pull your pants up. We've called the authorities.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Look at all those teeth. Christy. Excuse me? My name's not Christy. You heard me.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at the choppas on that one.

[Dick Toledo]

Another one. John, please hire Kirby to join you in your crime fighting efforts for Pinal County.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. If Brady had let me have Kirby.

[Brady Bogan]

She'Ll just stomp him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and I would do that thing with Brady like. Hang on a second. We'll be right back. We get her all coated up and ready to go. Just get a little makeup and a little soul, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Curly. What's going on here, you old pirate?

[John Holmberg]

What's going on around here, you old pirates? So, who wants a little piece of this booty? This underage booty? We get this thing. I'll take you to space, baby. Take me in and out in 12 paw sex. All right, that's good work, Kirby. Let's get on. Freeze, pedophile.

[Dick Toledo]

Why are you in a suit.

[John Holmberg]

A ghillie suit. This guy's dressed as a great white shark in the middle of the Fiesta Mall parking lot. Freeze.

[Brady Bogan]

I got tackled by a shrug.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what the hell that was.

[Brady Bogan]

A barrel cactus.

[John Holmberg]

Lay down, Mr. Sir. Why are you. Fish don't live outside of the water.

[Dick Toledo]

With your hands up.

[John Holmberg]

He'd be a barrel cat. He'd be one of those swarrows about to tip over because it just rained too much. The middle of him's a little bit. I'll be right back. What's going on, Ron? Yeah, Soul man Brady. I'm gonna make that a thing. Trying to get free stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, did you hear about Lil Uzi Vert?

[Brett Vesely]

No, I didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Got a 24 million dollar diamond pierced to his forehead.

[John Holmberg]

He's black vision. 24 million dollar diamond.

[Brady Bogan]

Took him four years to pay it off.

[John Holmberg]

That's still impressive.

[Brady Bogan]

It's for a guy in carrots.

[Brett Vesely]

See here, I'm gonna see if I can find a picture of it. Oh, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

But who is he?

[Dick Toledo]

He's a rapper.

[John Holmberg]

How did he come up with 24 million? Don't you have to have a song that people know to get $24 million? That's impressive. That's pretty neat. So now somebody's going to steal his face?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, pretty much.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard of him. Maybe he's got a couple. But look, I've heard of Katrina and the Waves. They had a hit song. I know they don't have $24 million. How are you a guy that general society hasn't heard of with 24 million expendable dollars?

[Brett Vesely]

Let's see. Four years to pay that up. That's still a lot of change.

[John Holmberg]

The guys on stage for Skid Row and they had multiple hits and big albums, were asking the crowd to buy their T shirts because they were broke. Now, maybe that's mismatched management, but none of them had 24 million. We know the guy who ran Guns N Roses. Yeah, for years. He settled with them for a few million. Yeah. How do you get 24 million and are generally unknown?

[Brett Vesely]

Spent years paying it off.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't know about Lil Uzi Vert? No. Did you?

[Brett Vesely]

He's been paying for it since 2017.

[John Holmberg]

What's his. Yeah, of course he is. What's his big hit there, Brady? I mean, he's probably got a couple of songs that generally we know whether you like it or not Today, different story.

[Brady Bogan]

But the one I really like is Ratat.

[John Holmberg]

Is that the one he's got that. You like?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me see if I can pull some up.

[John Holmberg]

Lil Uzi vert. Has he been around for a long time?

[Brady Bogan]

No. I remember seeing It's Got to be around since 17.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like Halsey doesn't have $24 million to throw around. I was blown away when I saw Trevor Noah buy a house for $27 million. Like, they pay Trevor Noah that kind of money for. For the Daily Show. He's okay. I don't like him.

[Brady Bogan]

But just clothing or anything, shoes.

[John Holmberg]

He's got to have something. Yeah, because Bam Margera, we talked about that yesterday. Bam Margera had his car stolen. He's got a Bentley. It's like 300 and something. Thousand dollar Bentley got stolen. I'm like, why does Bam Margera have money?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I'd play you some, but everything is explicit lyrics.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. It. I'm just. I'm frustrated because people put in a lot of hard work and then you find out a Dude's got a $24 million diamond in his forehead. I. You have to have. There has to be some. Some reason for that. Does he call himself Black Vision? He change his name or is that just you?

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you just being racist in Black History Month.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what they're saying.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then that is them. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they're comparing him to Black Vision.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You can own.

[John Holmberg]

And what is Black Vision? Like, you can foresee Tyler Perry movies or. I mean, what is Black Vision? You see him before the theaters, before they open.

[Brady Bogan]

There's all sorts of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I get frustrated when I see people with that kind of dough. Bam Margera drove me nuts the other day, stewing over. And then you went and looked it up. He's got 40. Like, his estimated estimate is $45 million.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't believe that.

[John Holmberg]

Bamboo Margera.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then they list all the stuff that he has. Not the. I mean, none of us really follow too much.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got a ton of different reality shows and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but those don't pull in that kind of money for those.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but it keeps that. And then I think the big money came from. He's a co writer on the Jackass movies.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Well, Knoxville gotta be a producer.

[Brett Vesely]

He was 90 million or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if you're not a producer, you're not going to get all that money. So he has to have a cut of it, which is crazy. I'm sure all those guys by two and three got the. Oh, I would imagine the producer stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

You can own your own life size tauntaun head from Star Wars. $8,000.

[Brett Vesely]

See John John Gordon's all over the robotics.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean it's the real deal, brother.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need a diamond. I'll take that Tauntaun head. I don't want a diamond in my flesh head. Give me the Tom ton Head, man. 4,500. Jackie, tonight you're a tom top.

[Brady Bogan]

Regal robot if you want to check it out. But you can get a chewbacca head for 4,500.

[John Holmberg]

A real moving Chewbacca. Oh my God. That's the Chewbacca head. And it's only five grand.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I mean I'm saying only because look at this thing. That's the real deal. And it works.

[Brady Bogan]

Works player.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it's at her Hitler's toilet seat. What are you in for?

[John Holmberg]

I might have to go for both Hitler's toilets. You got to be 15 grand, right? For Hitler's toilet seat? The Chewbacca thing's pretty awesome. Again. Buyer's remorse. When you get Chewbacca's head and shoulders to your house and you wear it for a day and you realize I can't hear. Use this because it's. It's going to make me stink. And I'm going to make. I'm going to ruin it. You're going to spill something on it.

[Brady Bogan]

They got the good spray for that when I worked in the character department.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, do they island?

[Brady Bogan]

Even then it was good.

[John Holmberg]

After every walk you had to hose out your own costume.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was the worst one for sweat? Scooby had to be pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

Scooby Doo was not the not bad. The worst one. Quick draw McGraw.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Why so tall?

[Brady Bogan]

The head. And you got all that cat. That cavern of stink. Heat rise.

[John Holmberg]

And you're looking out of Quick Draw's chest. You were.

[Brady Bogan]

You look out of it. The base of his throat.

[John Holmberg]

Were there any you couldn't do because you were too short?

[Brady Bogan]

No, but I was a shorter Scooby. And I would get called. I would be, you know, they would say scrappy.

[John Holmberg]

They called you Scrap.

[Brady Bogan]

Then the was Scooby Asian group that came out. They're roller coaster enthusiasts.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they thought you were.

[Brady Bogan]

But they didn't know much about Hanna Barbera characters. Ah, that's good. Picture with super rat because I had an sd.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the Scooby Doo collar. Hitler's toilet is still holding at 5,000.

[Brett Vesely]

You may have a shot at this.

[John Holmberg]

When is the bidding end?

[Brett Vesely]

The 7th or the 8th. 10:00am Eastern. So we'll be on the air, actually.

[Brady Bogan]

We'Ll get it in, maybe get a stink bit in.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so everybody, Toledo should set an alarm right now for Monday at 6:50 in the morning. And we'll make sure that we get a bid in on that toilet seat because if it's hanging at 5, I'm getting Hitler's toilet seat. And we'll put it up in the trip's office right next to all your awards. Yeah, all of my awards will surround it. Circling the drain. It's so metaphoric. All right, grand. Nobody's even looked into it after all the publicity. Interesting. It's out of control now.

[Dick Toledo]

Men, if you're over the age of 50, go ahead and ask Chat GPT about what you face as you age. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning Sickness for game Day Men's health. The short answer you'll get is facing metabolic issues like weight gain and muscle loss as well as hormonal changes in testosterone that can lead to decreased sexual function plus the mental side of the equation. As you navigate these changes, head to gamedaymenshealth.com and schedule a free consultation now at one of their 12 valley locations. They'll formulate a plan to keep you in the game. And there's a game day location near you, so get started today and book that free [e-mail] it's John Holmer here.

[John Holmberg]

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