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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Dick Toledo
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Brett Vesely
Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
Byron
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Byron
Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or Legal Gun. The safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
John Holmberg
The rest of homebrew morning sickness. It's John Holmberg here and this entertainment drill is brought to you by my friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black. You are going to be blown away no matter what shape you're in right now. They're going to start you right there and get you to a better place before you know it. The best in the business, doing the best training you could ever think of. It's called Tactical black. It's@reactdefense.com check it out there in Phoenix, Glendale and Chandler and they bring you this best of entertainment drill.
Unidentified Male 1
We know that J.J. abrams is directing Star Wars 7. Peter Jackson might be doing part eight.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's a leave it odd combo.
Unidentified Male 2
Can't we get one director for all three?
John Holmberg
Can't we just not do it?
Unidentified Male 2
Well, I just want the same guy. So it kind of utter disappointment headed your way.
John Holmberg
I don't wanna even a super Star wars fan is sitting over here shaking his head yes. John Gordon doesn't even want this and you are a Star wars nerd. You're crazy. You got a whole room of your house dedicated to him.
Unidentified Male 2
Oh that's nice, John.
Unidentified Male 3
He's crazy.
John Holmberg
Have you seen that room?
Unidentified Male 2
Do you like J.J. abrams, though? Yes, I like J.J. abrams.
John Holmberg
I do too. I think J.J. abrams is great. Don't do all of them.
Unidentified Male 2
Don't switch it up like.
John Holmberg
Well, no. Peter Jackson is the answer to a lot of things.
Unidentified Male 2
Yes. I don't need slow motion every five seconds.
Unidentified Male 1
John Woo.
Unidentified Male 2
Same as John Woo.
John Holmberg
John Woo. I can't watch his movie. He'll probably do the third one just to make him slower. Oh, they're just. There's a mess.
Unidentified Male 2
That Star wars will be like three hours long.
John Holmberg
Not interested in the new Star wars movies. If Legolas is in it.
Unidentified Male 2
I am interested in the J.J. abrams. I'll watch it.
Dick Toledo
But I don't wanna.
Unidentified Male 2
I don't want to stop being a curmudgeon.
John Holmberg
I have to be.
Unidentified Male 4
By the time they're out, it'll be 90.
John Holmberg
Very curmudgeonably Walt Kowalski the Buck Wild star.
Unidentified Male 1
Shane Grandy died of carbon monoxide poisoning after his Bronco got stuck in the mud.
Unidentified Male 2
Just picturing Walt Kowalski in the Star wars universe. He would hate everything.
John Holmberg
I'm looking at you, Kowalski.
Unidentified Male 3
And I'm looking at you, Super Spade.
John Holmberg
What's the problem?
Unidentified Male 2
But you got all those aliens. It's got Wookies.
John Holmberg
What did you just call me?
Unidentified Male 1
I don't know.
Unidentified Male 3
Take your monkey out of here. I'm not interested in listening to you anymore.
John Holmberg
The Hun.
Unidentified Male 3
By the way, tell the gooks from the Federation I don't want him on my lawn anymore.
Unidentified Male 2
He would ate everyone.
Unidentified Male 1
He's getting his haircut in the de system. Yeah, so anyway, this Wookie walked in.
Unidentified Male 3
Big fuzzy Wookie wanders, smells the place up like an Italian.
John Holmberg
What's an Italian?
Unidentified Male 1
Anyway, who are my neighbors? Ah, they're Gungans.
Brett Vesely
Great.
Unidentified Male 3
There goes the neighborhood. Suppose there'll be a liquor store in every corner underwater now.
Unidentified Male 2
It's his worst nightmare.
Unidentified Male 3
Let me ask you something, Gungans. How the hell do you guys light your joints under here?
Unidentified Male 2
You'd really hate the hut all big and fat.
Unidentified Male 1
My pod racer.
Unidentified Male 3
Driving in my grandpa racer. Hey, go yourself, Seba.
John Holmberg
I called you a nerd. We know it.
Unidentified Male 1
I know the Governator. Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to look pretty old when he plays a cyborg in the upcoming Terminator. But he can explain it.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Unidentified Male 1
Says the Terminator has human skin which ages like any other human being's flesh.
John Holmberg
Why wouldn't you replace it with younger skin?
Unidentified Male 4
So sometimes when I get cut.
Unidentified Male 1
You're dumb.
Unidentified Male 4
It's like I Need my cumadin. Well, they keep going back to the same form, but the skin goes older when they put it on the exoskeleton of skin. They have to. I don't understand what's happening to this.
Unidentified Male 2
Movie every time, because every time he's in it, he's a different Terminator. So they just decide to send back guys with older looking skin.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but it's like aged perfectly, you know, and he's also traveling through time. He'd be the same every time. They wouldn't go. You know, in order to keep it real, we have to just.
Unidentified Male 2
You don't think John Connor would think that when he's sending him back?
Unidentified Male 4
Like, listen, John Connor, I'm out of breath because I'm a very old Terminator now. As you can tell by my skin, which is aging.
Unidentified Male 2
I'm only going back five years. So let's make. Make him a little older.
Unidentified Male 1
And who does he want to protect him?
John Holmberg
Right.
Unidentified Male 1
You see, the old Terminator, what I.
John Holmberg
Want protecting me is the. The gooey liquid one. Yeah, that's the better Terminator. Quit sending me back this robot.
Unidentified Male 2
Yeah, the crappy one.
John Holmberg
Get me the good one. Give me the upgrade.
Unidentified Male 2
The movie's a mess now.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, it's terrible.
Unidentified Male 2
You can't explain what's going on.
John Holmberg
It's like having people send you tivos from the future. It's like, wait a minute. I'm already surpassing that now. I've seen the future and it's the liquid dudes. Send me a good one of those. Make Arnold the liquid guy. That would rule.
Unidentified Male 2
See, that's what I was wondering the last time.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Unidentified Male 4
I went back, I got a couple of upgrades, and then I got there. Now I'm liquid man.
Unidentified Male 1
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Unidentified Male 4
Look. I look like a big pile of silver juice. And now I'm a shoe and legs. Look and do it. I'm growing back.
Unidentified Male 2
He always has to battle the liquid ones.
John Holmberg
Yeah, like I said, fight better Terminators.
Unidentified Male 4
Now you have to dip me in fire.
Unidentified Male 2
Then he'll come back.
Unidentified Male 1
Imagine he's walking. He's running after he's got the corns on his feet.
Unidentified Male 4
His skin is so old. Why don't they equip me with a young man's skin? I have to stop. I'm all cracked and brittle. I need lotion.
John Holmberg
John Connor's a real a hole.
Unidentified Male 4
We have to stop at the CVS and get some Aveeno.
John Holmberg
We can't stop. Well, he's aging. I guess it makes sense. Is that gonna be Eddie Furlong? Again.
Unidentified Male 2
No.
Unidentified Male 1
I wonder how they're gonna. Yeah, they have to.
Unidentified Male 2
Christian Bale was John Connor in the last.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that garbage one.
Unidentified Male 2
Jeez, that was not bad.
John Holmberg
I like. Oh, they destroyed the franchise. One, two, and it. They should have just ended. They keep stretching.
Unidentified Male 2
They've made it too crazy. And if you tried to watch a Sarah Connor Chronicles, don't that really made it even nuttier?
John Holmberg
Because they asked you not to follow along. The movies just make this a new thing.
Unidentified Male 2
You can't make any sense. This wouldn't have happened at this time.
John Holmberg
Because they made you reach back to the movies for some stuff and say, please ignore the movies for others. And it's like, well, I need a. I need a group of notes.
Unidentified Male 1
I heard they're gonna cross over the Terminator with a short circuit.
John Holmberg
Number five.
Unidentified Male 4
Alive.
Unidentified Male 1
Alive becomes a cyborg. Buddy cop.
John Holmberg
That picture. I'd watch that.
Unidentified Male 4
Who's Johnny? She said in the smiled and special way.
Unidentified Male 2
Instead of Alien versus Predator, it's Terminator versus Johnny Five.
Unidentified Male 1
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You will lose. Reassembled, Stephanie.
Unidentified Male 4
Don't reassemble, Stephanie. I'll just break it again.
Unidentified Male 1
The goot's back.
John Holmberg
Stephanie, stop destroying Johnny.
Unidentified Male 4
He's got all the secrets from the Avnet place or wherever the hell it is.
Unidentified Male 1
Skynet.
Unidentified Male 4
That's the one.
John Holmberg
Merry Effing Holidays. From the Big Red Radio 98 KUPD. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and doughopkins.com. have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house? The day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. Howdy, everybody. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and it's time to tell you about fanduel, the NFL Sundays. They're here. You got your crew, you got your couch, your snacks, your slate. FanDuel's coming in with something extra. This isn't just another NFL Sunday. It's your chance to place that perfect parlay or hit your go to player prop. And now we're making it even better because this week FanDuel's bringing the bonus. That's right. Right now, all customers can get a 50% profit boost on any NFL bet. However you play your game, FanDuel's got your back with something extra in your account because that's what Sunday should feel like. Visit FanDuel.com to download the app and get in on the action before kickoff. I lean towards my new tight end over there in Pittsburgh to get a touchdown and I'm all set up starting my parlay. Just go to fanduel.com kupd21/ and present in Arizona. Opt in required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amount. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342 Homburg's morning sickness.
Unidentified Male 1
Showtime is doing a documentary where Marcus Mumford from Mumford and Sons, Jim James from My Morning Jacket. Elvis Costello will write music for two dozen unfinished Bob Dylan lyrics that were recently discovered. Again, they found the basement or the attic.
John Holmberg
If blackface was appropriate, I would get my band together and sing Mumford in songs as Red Fox and do Sanford and Sons and it would just be incredibly funny. But I can't do blackface in public. It would be a Joe's Grotto doing Mumford and Sons.
Unidentified Male 4
Big dummy.
Unidentified Male 2
Why are they doing that when Bob Dylan's still alive? Couldn't he do that?
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a good point.
Unidentified Male 1
Dylan said, I'm getting too old for this, man.
John Holmberg
I can't do that about you. It makes sense to do both. We gotta get another guy.
Unidentified Male 4
I belong to you, you belong to me, My sweetheart, you big dummy singing muffins.
Unidentified Male 2
Well, I get it if you're doing like, Jimi Hendrix or Elvis lyrics. Yeah, but what's the point when Bob Dylan's still here?
Unidentified Male 1
They're just. The lyrics are gonna create a song out of it, so.
Unidentified Male 2
I know, but he's. Yeah, he can do it himself.
John Holmberg
Anyway.
Unidentified Male 2
How about throwing Jacob a bone? Where's he been for 20 years?
John Holmberg
Ouch.
Unidentified Male 2
Let him have him.
Unidentified Male 1
Ouch. He obviously signed off on him. Good luck with making songs out of these.
Unidentified Male 2
Maybe they're just garbage.
John Holmberg
Here you go.
Unidentified Male 4
The reason that is recorded is because it's garbage.
John Holmberg
You do it. There it is. Sanford and Sons. Larry, Elizabeth, There's a big one. I Couldn't do it. I'd laugh the entire time. Sanford and Sons has to happen, though. We. I. I need to have a black friend that does impressions and have him do all my great black ideas.
Unidentified Male 2
Jay Farrell.
John Holmberg
He's not a friend.
Unidentified Male 2
Really should have made him.
John Holmberg
I tried. I tried, but again, I forgot to leave information.
Unidentified Male 2
You're really striking out on these new friendships.
John Holmberg
We're great friends. And then, well, pass out a friend card. I do. I need a. I do need to pass out. Now that we're friends here, call me. I've got a lot of great black ideas.
Unidentified Male 2
How awkward would that be at the.
John Holmberg
End of every interview with black people? Here you go. I have so many great black ideas, but since I'm not allowed in blackface, I can't do them.
Unidentified Male 2
You can do like Brady does. Just open a barbecue joint and invite him over afterwards.
John Holmberg
Just have them over for barbecue.
Unidentified Male 1
Toys are bonding experience.
John Holmberg
I would like you to come over and know where I live for barbecue, and I could share all of my great negro ideas. You do what? Just hear me out. Picture this.
Unidentified Male 2
We have red Kool Aid, too.
John Holmberg
Oh, forget about it. No, they. They'd be there whether they take my ideas or not. This crack is crazy, but he sure makes a barbecue.
Unidentified Male 1
Steven Spielberg will reportedly remake west side Story.
Unidentified Male 2
No way. Why not way?
Unidentified Male 1
We'll see. That'll be shot down next day. But that's what's a great story.
John Holmberg
He's done some stuff. He's gone off musicals. I don't think he's ever done a musical. But he's done some. I don't think so, no. Why not?
Unidentified Male 2
He may have. Maybe has a credit for Pretty darn good at it.
John Holmberg
I mean, you know, if you're gonna let him go, why stick to the goodness? Why put a lid on him?
Unidentified Male 1
Weren't any songs in Schindler's List?
Unidentified Male 2
Saving Private Ryan, Color Purple.
John Holmberg
That embarrass you with My Woman. That's not that.
Unidentified Male 1
No, they didn't have that.
Unidentified Male 2
E.T.
Unidentified Male 1
E.T.
John Holmberg
I don't remember any singing in that. Could have done with a song, though.
Unidentified Male 1
Raiders, so.
John Holmberg
Could have done a couple songs in those.
Unidentified Male 2
Yeah, that would have been great.
John Holmberg
What?
Unidentified Male 1
He beat me to it.
John Holmberg
I mean. Oh, you were gonna do that? Yeah, I was gonna do the. The songs in the Schindler's List.
Unidentified Male 2
Yeah, we'll go ahead.
John Holmberg
I'm burning.
Unidentified Male 2
I'm burning. Unbelievable, people. You're so insensitive.
John Holmberg
I am Jewish people.
Brett Vesely
It's like.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's like black people in the N word. He's allowed to do it. Yeah.
Unidentified Male 2
We can't do it, though.
John Holmberg
I'm get the. The free pass. I'm not.
Unidentified Male 2
Do it, John. Dude, sing the ember.
John Holmberg
He's burning. He's burning. Everybody's turning around because the scenes are so insane. He's burning. He's burning. It smells.
Unidentified Male 1
Entertainment drill, everybody.
Unidentified Male 2
You were challenged and you accepted. Stepped up.
John Holmberg
And then there was that other hit. Somebody's got to play the Nazi. Do you remember the really good one? Like the big theatrical version that they did of Larry is awful.
Unidentified Male 2
What was the Mel Brooks one that had the producers.
John Holmberg
Hitler in Springtime.
Unidentified Male 1
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Trying to write a flop. And they loved. Was so funny. It was painfully funny because he didn't want to laugh at any of it. Well, there you go. Yeah. I don't see. Spielberg could do a musical. What's wrong with that? I don't know.
Unidentified Male 2
I'd rather him make.
Unidentified Male 1
He could probably. He'll probably knock it out of the park.
John Holmberg
Mark, you're looking up Spielberg stuff right now. He's got a couple of them in there that aren't.
Unidentified Male 2
I don't.
John Holmberg
He did. He did the. He was behind the Looney Tunes. The. The new Looney Tunes. The baby ones that came out.
Unidentified Male 2
Yeah, the Animaniacs.
John Holmberg
Animaniacs. And there's Animaniacs. He was behind a lot of music.
Unidentified Male 2
I think he just.
Unidentified Male 1
The Tiny Toon Clones. That was a pretty good one.
Unidentified Male 2
I'm not saying he can't do it, but. But I'd rather him spend his time because he's not gonna live too much longer. We gotta get him on the real movies.
Unidentified Male 1
You like the movies based on real stories or.
Unidentified Male 2
He's doing an awesome job. Keep it up.
John Holmberg
Oh, I'm not complaining.
Unidentified Male 2
I don't want to see musical.
John Holmberg
Let.
Unidentified Male 2
Let the. There's plenty of people do musicals. Inky in the brain.
Byron
Animating.
Unidentified Male 2
Yeah, solid.
John Holmberg
But he did the Adventures of Tintin.
Unidentified Male 2
I never got to see that one.
Unidentified Male 1
I saw that one over Christmas. Yeah, but that was the family outing.
Dick Toledo
Survivors of the Holocaust.
Unidentified Male 2
That was a great musical.
John Holmberg
We survived. Larry.
Unidentified Male 2
Love that one.
Unidentified Male 1
Yes.
John Holmberg
We're all alive. We made it. We made it. We really, really made it. We're not burning or burning. And everybody's Turning.
Unidentified Male 1
Hey, it's 679.
Unidentified Male 2
He's alive.
John Holmberg
Tattoos. Tattoos they put on all the Jews. I can do this. I didn't see.
Unidentified Male 1
Sing that one.
John Holmberg
Larry, you wrote it for me.
Dick Toledo
That was pretty good.
John Holmberg
Thanks, buddy. Yeah. Steven Spielberg. We want him to do Schindler. The music. I don't think it's going to happen. That's it. McFeely's coming up next. All your complaint letters to go to him. They're his people.
Unidentified Male 1
Is it snowing? Is this.
Byron
It's not.
John Holmberg
Get out.
Unidentified Male 1
No, I do not think that's snow.
Unidentified Male 2
I guess after 80 years, you're over it. I. I don't know.
John Holmberg
Too soon.
Unidentified Male 2
Too soon.
Unidentified Male 1
Time to go.
Brett Vesely
Now.
John Holmberg
It's almost that. All right, that's enough of you. That's horrifying.
Unidentified Male 4
What's that noise?
John Holmberg
Who is singing? Well, the flame Miz can do it.
Unidentified Male 2
It's our last show, everybody. Thanks for joining us.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that was great. No, it's Larry's last show.
Unidentified Male 1
We're fine.
John Holmberg
I condemn it.
Unidentified Male 2
Yeah, we weren't doing it till Larry came.
John Holmberg
I. I'll write it with you. It would be great. It's out of 98k u PD. It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughopkins.com I got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins.
Dick Toledo
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Date: December 26, 2025
Host: John Holmberg (with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and others)
Main Theme:
A rollicking rundowns of recent (and retro) movie news with irreverent skepticism, banter, and signature “morning show” humor. The crew reacts to Hollywood developments including Star Wars directorial choices, the future of the Terminator franchise, a Bob Dylan music project, and Spielberg's West Side Story remake.
Star Wars Silliness
Terminator Absurdity
Bob Dylan & Musical Parodies
Spielberg Musical Gags
For longtime listeners, this episode is a classic mix of pop culture news, lampooning skits, and unpredictable comedy. For newcomers, expect a blend of snark, nerdy references, and boundary-testing bits—definitely not your average entertainment roundup.