Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Guad Squares Hanukkah Edition

Episode Date: December 26, 2025
Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona (98KUPD)
Hosts/Players: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Mo (Moishe Berger), with guests/impressions of OJ Simpson, Oscar Schindler, Bruce Springsteen, Hanukkah Brady, Jeff Goldblum, Gene Simmons, and humorous “caller” participants.

Overview

This special Hanukkah-themed edition of “Guad Squares” brings the regular fever dream of pop culture madness and sharp, irreverent humor to the classic Hollywood Squares format, with each “square” being a comedic impersonation or parody of notable figures—most of them (loosely) related to Jewish heritage or the Hanukkah theme. The episode juggles quick wit, off-the-wall music tributes, and tomfoolery rampant with puns, callbacks, and just the right amount of questionable taste.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Hanukkah Takeover & Jewish Humor

• Theme Setup (01:13–02:12): Moishe Berger introduces the Hanukkah edition. The “squares” are stacked with Jewish icons or, as the hosts joke, whoever they can render as “Jew-ish” via puns.
  • Quote [02:03] Mo (Moishe Berger): “You sit Shiva. Which is a great rap name, by the way… Little Shiva. Don’t screw it up.”
  • Quote [02:12] Mo (Moishe Berger): “It is time for your Squares Hanukkah version. And here’s your host, Moishe Berger.”

2. The Squares: Parodies and Absurdities

Top Row

• Joe Biden ([02:30]):

  • Comedic riffing on Biden supposedly embracing every identity for political capital.
    • Quote [02:35] Brady (as Biden): “Biden grew up a Jewish, Puerto Rican. Black streets, Delaware, Scranton, Ohio.”
    • Holiday parody: “Come by tonight to help us decorate the Hanukkah tree… Kamala, she’s gonna come over tonight. I’m gonna decorate the Hanukkah tree. Bring over Barack.” ([03:01])
    • Hunter Biden jokes, e.g., “Hunter’s using Jews for another thing—lawyers, okay?” ([03:26])
    • Musical Parody: To the tune of Rick James — “Hanukkah, let me rock you. That’s all I want to do.” ([03:41])

• OJ Simpson ([03:52]):

  • Takes on a gratingly tongue-in-cheek tone about his legal infamy, now in a “Jewish” context.
    • Quote [04:06] John Holmberg (as OJ): “J, E, W S. Oh, Juice. I’m the Juice.”
    • Biting Satire: [04:12] Holmberg (as OJ): “I gotta pay those Goldmans. Those Jews. I gotta pay them back.”
    • Parody about offering “bris services” gone wrong.

• Oscar Schindler ([05:09]):

  • Riffing on “Schindler’s Playlist” for Spotify (Schindler’s List + Spotify Unwrapped pop culture joke).
    • Quote [05:23] John Holmberg (as Schindler): “One thing I like to do at the end of the year is check my Spotify and put together Schindler’s playlist.”
    • “Neil Diamond is on Schindler’s playlist… Jamie’s Crying is on there.” ([05:39])
    • Song wordplay, “No can Jew.” ([06:03])

Middle Row

• Bruce Springsteen ([06:28]):

  • Jokes that “Springsteen” is “Jewish in name only.” ([06:36])
  • Massive group singalong to “Sweet Caroline” (Neil Diamond) with Jewish lyrical twists.
    • Quote/Singalong [07:19] “Hands touching, reaching out, touching me, touching Jew, Sweet Caroline… Happy Hanukkah Jews!”

• Hanukkah Brady ([08:01]):

  • Parodies Brady Bogen rebranded for Hanukkah.
  • Outlandish explanations of Hanukkah traditions: “Today we celebrate the last trimester of Jesus.” ([08:08])
  • Food and deal-obsession: “Nothing better than a Locky shake… or latke coffee.” ([09:12])
  • “I'd like to announce 50% off your sandwiches at Chompy’s. Not the price—you just get half!” ([09:28])

• Jeff Goldblum ([09:34]):

  • Lovably neurotic Goldblum monologuing on why he was “last-second replacement” using “jewfinder.com.”
    • Quote [09:39] Mo (Moishe Berger as Goldblum): “Ah, very interesting to have me here for Hanukkah. I wonder why you chose… jewfinder.com, home of the Jupiter Net.”
    • Flirts awkwardly with Toledo: “If I could still get erections, I might have one right now.” ([10:44])

Bottom Row

• Brady (Secret Square), age 107, Spartacus joke ([12:33]):

  • Silly old Jewish references, stroke gags, and “butt chin” running joke.

• Gene Simmons (KISS) ([13:14]):

  • Gags about KISS merchandise for Hanukkah: “Kiss Dreidels, Kiss Everything Bagels… looks like my tongue.” ([14:33])
  • Merchandise pitch: “Kiss Brisket, or kiskit, Kiss Yamulkes… and Kiss Couscous.” ([14:51], [21:10])
  • Group singalong continues.

• Bottom Right “Triple”/Lord & Savior ([15:24]):

  • More irreverent humor about Christmas and Hanukkah crossing over.
  • Lighting/outdoor decorations: “His house makes my eyes hurt at Christmas.” ([15:36])
  • Playful banter at the boundaries of religious/cultural humor.

3. Game Play: Hollywood Squares-Style

• Caller Participation ([16:12] onward):
  • Darcy and Paulie call in, picking squares and answering gag trivia loaded with more Jewish jokes and misdirection.
  • Hanukkah and Jewish trivia questions with increasingly absurd justifications from the “squares.”
    • Example: “All menorahs are candelabras with nine candles.” ([19:01])
    • Quote (Hanukkah Brady): “Candelabras with nine candles... That’s true, ‘cause it’s the eight nights of oil leaking, and then... the one in the middle for Jesus.” ([19:12])
  • The game wraps with Paulie’s win and more Kiss merchandise pitches.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Biden as Ultimate Chameleon:

  “Biden grew up a Jewish, Puerto Rican. Black streets, Delaware, Scranton, Ohio.” – Brady (as Biden), [02:35]

• Oscar Schindler Playlist Parody:

  “At the end of the year is check my Spotify and put together Schindler’s playlist.” – John Holmberg (as Schindler), [05:23]

• Springsteen Sings Neil Diamond:

  Group: “Touching me, touching Jew. Sweet Caroline. Happy Hanukkah Jews!” – [07:19–07:46]

• Gene Simmons Sells Everything:

  “Kiss Dreidels are on sale. Spin the dreidel, each side features a made up member of Kiss.” – John Holmberg (as Simmons), [14:33]

• Goldblum’s Irreplaceability:

  “If I could still get erections, I might have one right now.” – Mo (as Goldblum), [10:44]

Timestamps by Major Segment

| Segment/Bit | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------|------------| | Hanukkah theme and Squares setup | 01:13–02:30| | Joe Biden square | 02:30–03:47| | OJ Simpson square (Jewish puns/“bris” gags) | 03:52–05:09| | Oscar Schindler/Playlist bit | 05:12–06:28| | Bruce Springsteen/Group “Sweet Caroline” | 06:28–07:58| | Hanukkah Brady/Food Deals/Laughs | 08:01–09:34| | Jeff Goldblum/“Jewfinder”/flirting | 09:39–10:45| | Secret Square (Brady/Spartacus) | 12:33–13:09| | Gene Simmons/KISS merch/gags | 13:14–15:24| | “Triple” (Bottom Right)/Christmas cross-talk | 15:24–16:03| | Caller game show segment | 16:12–21:10| | KISS couscous wheel-out/Kiss Welta fish | 21:10–21:51|

Tone & Style

The podcast episode is thick with fast-paced, improvisational banter, loaded with cultural and holiday puns, over-the-top impersonations, and a playful willingness to mix traditions for comedic effect. The humor can be cringey (by design), irreverent, and intentionally groan-worthy, but always veers toward inclusion and goofball celebration.

Final Notes

• For returning listeners, this is classic “HMS” madness—irreverently skewering everyone and everything under the Hanukkah sun.
• For first-timers, expect a wild ride: a blend of local Arizona radio charm, breakfast-club vibes, pop culture pastiche, and comedy that doesn’t apologize for coloring outside the lines.
• “Guad Squares” as a bit is an annual highlight for many. This edition stands out as both a Hanukkah party and an absurdist roast of traditions, celebrities, and (most lovingly) themselves.

For further info or merch (seriously, Kiss might actually sell a dreidel), check out:

• 98kupd.com
• Kiss.com (maybe not for couscous, though…)