12-26-25 - Jason Schwartzman - Scott Pilgrim - call in - 2010 - BO

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Interview with Jason Schwartzman

Air Date: December 26, 2025
Guest: Jason Schwartzman
Key Hosts: John Holmberg, Dick Toledo, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely

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Main Theme

The episode centers on a lively, wide-ranging interview with actor, musician, and writer Jason Schwartzman, who calls in to discuss his creative work, personal quirks, family background, and his roles in projects like “Bored to Death,” “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” and “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.” The interview maintains the show’s signature blend of irreverence, self-deprecating humor, and honest conversation, making Schwartzman both relatable and entertaining.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Breaking the Ice & Initial Banter

• The hosts open with a tongue-in-cheek attitude, immediately referencing Schwartzman’s role as “Ash” in “Fantastic Mr. Fox.”
• Playful comparison to previous guest, Vince Vaughn, and quips about lineup superiority.
  • Quote: "Vince Vaughn. And now look at this. Jason Schwarzman is on the line." – Host (01:13)
  • Jason jokes along, comfortable with being addressed as “Ash.” (01:28)

2. “Bored to Death” – Accessibility vs. Perceived “Intelligence”

• Host admits he originally thought the HBO show “Bored to Death” would be too “smart” or “hoity toity” for him but fell in love with its character-driven humor and warmth. (02:16)
• Jason acknowledges the show’s intellectual veneer but insists it's about “three kind of normal, but different guys who are all really just struggling to find a way.” (02:32)
• He shares a self-deprecating confession about his own struggles with reading, making himself relatable:
  • “Ever since, I feel like I could learn…I am a terrible reader.” – Jason Schwartzman (04:27)
  • Host: “The worst reader in the world next to me.” (04:58)
• Discussion about avoiding book lending out of fear of never returning them. Jason’s solution? Audiobooks. (05:12)

3. Audiobooks and Favorite Memoirs

• Schwartzman expresses his love for audiobooks, highlighting memoirs read by the author, such as Gene Wilder’s and Keith Richards’—the latter narrated by Johnny Depp. (05:27–06:24)
  • “But when it’s a great reader, oh, man. It really does feel like the person’s just talking to you.” – Jason (06:24)

4. On Famous Family & Keeping It Down-to-Earth

• The hosts bring up Jason’s Hollywood lineage (Talia Shire, Francis Ford Coppola).
• Jason discusses how his mother separated family life from showbiz, keeping things “very normal.” (08:22–08:58)
  • “You're really on your own... No one really ever helped me get a job. And I don’t ask for anyone's help and I don’t want anyone's help.” – Jason (09:10)
• Jokes about his ability to just commission anyone to read him an audiobook, thanks to family connections. (07:32)

5. Height and Humor: Rapid-Fire Jokes about Insecurities and Identity

• Joking about his own height—“five, six, or on a romantic night, five sex”—and how shorter people give longer answers in interviews. (11:49–11:54)

6. Discussion on “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”

• Schwartzman praises the movie’s originality, the hands-on approach to stunts under director Edgar Wright, and dismisses the idea that it’s only for comic or video game fans. (13:00–15:33)
  • “If you go see this movie, you will see something you have never seen before... The fights are insane.” – Jason (13:21, 15:27)
  • Shares behind-the-scenes details: practical effects, real stunts, months of sword fighting practice.

7. “Bringing Celebrities Down to Earth”: Lightning Round

• The hosts initiate their trademark segment, asking offbeat, personal questions to “bring you down to earth.”
  • How did you lose your virginity? “18.” – Jason (16:09)
  • Last time you pooped your pants? Jason demurs, “Not in a long time. Not in months.” Eventually admits to some close calls involving coffee and laxatives. (16:33–17:49)

8. Reflecting on the Interview & Sign-Off

• Jason gives the interview an “A” – “That we feel like we’re actually listening to each other and connecting.” (18:14)
• Brief mutual fanfare about “Team Coco” (Conan O’Brien) and football (Steelers). (18:24–18:42)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being a bad reader:
  “I am a terrible reader.” – Jason Schwartzman (04:27)

• On family and fame:
  “No one really ever helped me get a job. And I don’t ask for anyone’s help and I don’t want anyone’s help.” – Jason (09:10)

• On ‘Scott Pilgrim’ appeal:
  “I don’t know anything about comic books or video games. And it really isn’t about that. It’s just based on a comic book.” – Jason (14:38)
  “The fights are insane, and the dvd, the Blu Ray is full of so much stuff.” (15:27)

• Comedic Gold:
  “On a romantic night, I like to say five sex.” – Jason (11:54)
  “Not in a long time. Not in months.” (on pants accidents) (16:33)
  “I remember one time... I had 10 cups of coffee and some laxatives, and...look out.” (17:49)

• On a great interview:
  “That we feel like we’re actually listening to each other and connecting.” – Jason (18:14)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro and Guest Welcome: 01:13
• “Bored to Death” Discussion: 02:02–03:41
• Audiobooks & Memoirs: 05:12–06:24
• Family and Fame: 06:51–09:10
• Height & Humor Segment: 11:47–11:54
• “Scott Pilgrim” Behind the Scenes: 13:00–15:33
• Personal/Banter Questions: 15:44–17:49
• Interview Reflection: 18:02–18:14
• Loose Ends and Team Coco: 18:24–18:42

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Tone & Language

The conversation is irreverent, candid, and filled with the show’s signature blend of sarcasm, playful insults, and camaraderie. Schwartzman matches the hosts’ wit and self-deprecation, creating an atmosphere that's both relaxed and engaging.

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Summary for New Listeners

Jason Schwartzman proves charming, open, and genuinely funny as he talks about refusing to take himself too seriously. From admitting his struggles as a “terrible reader” to sharing real insights about his family and craftsmanship, he gives listeners a mix of warmth and wry humor. The hosts’ offbeat questions add levity, while stories from behind the scenes of “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” and “Bored to Death” offer genuine appeal for film and TV fans. The show’s relaxed, raunchy, and often self-effacing tone ensures you’ll be entertained—whether you’re a Schwartzman fan or just along for the ride.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

We got a special guest on the line. We had Vince Vaughn earlier this morning. This is a better lineup than Conan had for the opening. Yeah, Vince Vaughn. And now look at this. Jason Schwarzman is on the line. Jason Schwartzman, are you there?

[Jason Schwartzman]

How are you?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I'm doing quite well now, not seeing you and hearing your voice. I'm just going to call you Ash, if that's okay.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Hey, that's fine. That. That would make. That makes the most amount of sense.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, because you're Ash from the fantastic Mr. Fox. And yes, fantastic movie, by the way, I think.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Thank you very much.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

One of the more underrated Wes Anderson deals.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Oh, thanks for seeing it. I appreciate that.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That was fantastic.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Now, what was Vince? Fun. Talking about you.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, yeah, no, we said we. Yeah, we have Jason Schwarzman on later. And he said, oh, that prick. I'm like, what? What's the beef? What's the beef?

[Producer or Co-host]

Jason and I think the other thing we need to say, what he wasn't talking about, which you are going to be able to talk about.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

We'll ask you A couple of same questions we asked him, but that's later in the interview.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Fine.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

We' back. No, I'm kidding. So. And you're in Bored to death on hbo. And I'll be honest with you, because that's what I do. I didn't want. I didn't want to like that show. And I don't know why. I think it's. It just looked above me. I'm a pretty simple guy.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

And it looked like it was gonna be too smart, but it is not only smart, but incredibly funny and not above me. It's really good.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Well, maybe you're. Maybe you were being hard on yourself and maybe you're smart.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, that's impossible. I think. I think I just overestimated the smartness. And I do get it.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I will tell you one thing. You know, it's so funny because, like, I can't deny that the show has, you know, lots of. It's cut. You know, I'm a writer. I'm talking about books a lot. There are certain, like, things about it that would appear to be, you know, like a very hoity toity. Maybe. But it's so funny because I think people hopefully are as surprised as you were that though there is some of that in it. You know, we're also just like these three kind of normal, but different guys who are all really just struggling to find a way. And, you know, I have a pot white wine addiction.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Right.

[Jason Schwartzman]

And Zach is like this struggling, you know, cartoonist. And Ted Danson is this, you know, bored but kind of rich guy. And it does have a. It does eventually cross over and make people feel quite at home when they watch it. I don't think it's that hoity toity. It's just the outside of it. Then you break into it.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I think you're right. I think it was the book thing, because I'm against those.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

And when it's like, oh, he's a writer. That means they're gonna talk about literature. And that's kind of way over there.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Producer or Co-host]

A lot of times looking out the window, reflecting.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

It's like a Howard Zen moments where you're rearranging pencils for half an hour and there's like some sort of.

[Jason Schwartzman]

You just said Howard Zinn.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

See, I know. And I've seen Howards End. And that's when I know when I'm out of my element.

[Jason Schwartzman]

You just said Howard's End. You said, you're stupid and you just said Howards End.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

It's true. I can say the words Howards and End, but it doesn't mean I get it.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I agree. I only know the name because I saw it on a cartoon.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, what was it? Dora the Explorer. That we're really strange. Special door.

[Producer or Co-host]

Handy Manny.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, Handy Manny.

[Jason Schwartzman]

You want to know? I'll tell you something about me.

[Dick Toledo]

Please.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I, too, I'm very nervous around people who are extremely, extremely well read. Because myself. And I don't know about you, but ever since, I feel like I could learn. I learned how to read and could learn how to talk. I feel like my eyes, I just can't read. They get really tired, and my mind begins to wander. I honestly will tell you that I am a terrible reader.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

The worst reader in the world next to me. Probably because I'm the same way. I get through a page and I'm like, oh, that was interesting. The next page, I start thinking about things. Things on the last page. And then I start thinking about, like, oh, remember that time when you were a kid? And then I'm five pages in, just scanning at words, and I'm like, I have no idea what's going on.

[Jason Schwartzman]

People say, you want to borrow this book? And I always decline. And the real reason I decline is because they won't get it back for, like, five years.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That's me.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Okay, good. But I do. I'll tell you. You want to know, though, what I did do. And maybe. Maybe this is you, too. Audiobooks.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Love audiobooks. On long trips. That's a great thing.

[Producer or Co-host]

Especially with John Cleese reading them.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, that's fantastic.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I tell you, I got into them. You want to know a great one? Gene Wilder. Oh, his life story.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I thought you're gonna say a Willy Wonka.

[Jason Schwartzman]

No, but he talks about it.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, fantastic.

[Producer or Co-host]

You got the Silver Streets and all that stuff.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

What I'm afraid of.

[Jason Schwartzman]

He talks about it.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

All right, I'm in on that.

[Jason Schwartzman]

So that would be audiobooks. I can. I can. I can read audiobooks.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Maybe we should sit down and read one together.

[Producer or Co-host]

Wilder talking.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it?

[Producer or Co-host]

Or who's narrating?

[Jason Schwartzman]

No, no, it's his book.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Oh.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

And he's reading it, and he's reading it to you, which makes you feel special.

[Jason Schwartzman]

That's right. Well, that's the main thing is I will get mostly on audiobooks, memoirs.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That's brilliant.

[Jason Schwartzman]

But you gotta make sure to look to see who's narrating it now.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

See, and I gotta ask you.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I even just got the Keith Richards one.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Wow.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Johnny Depp is narrating it.

[Producer or Co-host]

Oh, there you go.

[Jason Schwartzman]

But I thought, you know what? It's at least gonna be interesting because obviously Keith Richards probably chose Johnny Depp, so. But when it's a great reader, oh, man. It really does feel like the person's just talking to you.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

But here's. Here's the thing I have to ask you, and this is just bitter, me being a bitter loser by comparison to your life, which is, please trust me on this one. This question's gonna make a ton of sense when I'm done. Talia Shire's your mom. Prince Ford Coppola is your uncle. I know you're sick of hearing about it.

[Jason Schwartzman]

No, no, no. I was. I was leaning down to pick up something off my dog's face.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Did you say got it?

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, I went, yeah.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Okay, good.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Or just because I was getting something because he. He was sleeping and he opened his eyes and I guess I said it out loud, but I was trying to basically say, yeah, it's Daddy. I'm coming in to get it. Don't be scared of Daddy.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Okay, well, I don't want to interrupt that. That's a pretty good story. Yeah. What kind of dog?

[Jason Schwartzman]

He's a French bulldog.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

All right, now let me get back to my question. If you're dog awake, is everything okay? Everything's fine. Okay, good. All right, good. So. But there you are buying these. Gene Wilder reading these books, and from your lineage, you could just hire these people to come read the book to you.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Doug Hopkins]

I mean, you just have your dad.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Or Francis Ford Coppola, go Wilder, get over to Jason's house and read your book.

[Jason Schwartzman]

All right, no, that's true. That's true. I just find that, you know, I like to keep things a bit more low profile, so I just take the limo out.

[Producer or Co-host]

It's more convenient.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I'll take the limo out. Usually just go with my chef. Just the two of us rolling out. Chill.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That sounds awesome.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Get the audio books, you know, pay in cash.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Get out of there.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

A couple regular guys.

[Jason Schwartzman]

The thing is, you know. Yes. I have an amazing group of. There. There are a large amount of people that I'm closely related to who are in my. Or I'm in their industry rather, because I.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Don't sell yourself short. Come on.

[Jason Schwartzman]

And. And so I, you know, I love. I love them. I love their work and, you know, but when. When I was growing up, and credit to my mom, because she. She really did such a, like, fantastic job of kind of doing a church and state type thing where she was you. I was aware of what she did, but she never made it seem like the big deal. You know, the big deal was like when my brother had a baseball game or I had a. You know what I mean?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Like, it was very normal.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Very normal. Very normal. And, you know, the other thing too is like, at the end of the day, I kind of feel like in this business and maybe a lot of them, you're really on your own.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Jason Schwartzman]

And, you know, no one really ever helped me get a job. And I don't ask for anyone's help and I don't want anyone's help.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

But even if they did give it to you, you still have to have the chops to pull it off.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Maybe. I mean, clearly I don't.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Well, maybe not. You know what? I haven't seen all of your work.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I am walking proof that you don't have good jobs.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I have not seen all of your work. You may have just told a big truth right there. Who knows? Maybe you have that one that's like.

[John Holmberg]

Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio 98 KUPD.

[Doug Hopkins]

It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com I got a call from Doug the other day thanking me for leading so many of you guys his direction. He told me a story of a listener who had been through quite an ordeal and had a house they absolutely had to sell to feel like they were getting back to a normal place in life. You just never know when simple business transactions can actually change someone's life. So you want to deal with somebody great. TV's Doug Hopkins. That's your guy. So if you want to sell your house, start the process right now online@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins.

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[John Holmberg]

53342 Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Jason Schwartzman]

But maybe. But maybe I. But maybe. Yeah, maybe. It's a weird lie. And I am. I do have the chops and I just lied to you.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah. Oh, now I believed it. Double lied.

[Jason Schwartzman]

The truth is. The truth is. Yeah, I couldn't have Gene Wilder come over. That's. I guess that's the long way of saying no, I couldn't have.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Great. It was the best answer we've heard all day. Vince Vaughn was very short by comparison. That was Good answer.

[Jason Schwartzman]

He was.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, yeah, very.

[Jason Schwartzman]

See what happens? I think that answers are directly related to height. The taller you are, the shorter you feel. The shorter you feel your answers needs to be.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Because the shorter you are, the more you need to be heard.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Exactly.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That could be. How tall are you?

[Jason Schwartzman]

Five, six.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Oh, that's. That's pretty short.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Or on a romantic night, I like to say five sex.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Very sexy. You know, your wife has the same name as my radio partner.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I was going to bring it up. I was going to bring it up.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I hope they don't look alike. I hope to God they don't look alike. Is she. Does she look like Jack Black? Yeah, she does. Well, then we've got a match. We've got a match. All right, great.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Well, maybe we should hook them up and I should get out of here.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah. No, no, never, please.

[Producer or Co-host]

I wonder. That means we're family, though, so.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Good. You know, kind of.

[Producer or Co-host]

The Brady's are coming up to the holidays real quick.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I love that. Instead of making people related by last name.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I hope she's smarter than him, too.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, I'm the. I'm related to the quarterback of the Oakland Raiders.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, of course you are, too. Yeah.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Everybody's first name, baby.

[Doug Hopkins]

So you've got.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That's right. Jason Campbell. I didn't even think of that. You guys are from the same family. Of course. Gene Wilder. Gene Wilder could read.

[Producer or Co-host]

Jason Priestley. He's got a bunch of relatives.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, I'm related to Jason Priestley. Jason Campbell. Thanksgiving is amazing.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No? What is Thanksgiving like at your house? Do the Coppola's come over with their wine. Like, here's some bottles we didn't need.

[Jason Schwartzman]

No, it's just me and Gene Wilder hanging out.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

You and Gene reading, The chef reading out loud. All right.

[Jason Schwartzman]

It's pretty low key. It's just me trying to cook.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

There you go. Nothing wrong with that. Now you've got Scott Pilgrim out today. And that another movie that I thought should have been gangbusters. Everybody should love it. I told everybody I knew about it. And the dvd, I think, is gonna go through the roof because all the comic book goofs are gonna go grab it. But it's a, it's a fun, wildly creative movie.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's rare that you feel, you know, that you see something like that you have not seen before. And I would not be lying to you if I said if you go see this movie, you will see something you have never seen before. It is, to me the ultimate kind of next step in, like, action, but with a, you know, with comedy and a sense of kind of old school effects too, because though it has tons of modern effects, you know, we shot all of it basically in camera, there isn't a lot of cgi. And Edgar Wright, who directed it, when we were all cast in the film, the main, like, stipulation was that, you know, are you comfortable with doing these stunts and being in harnesses and flying around and doing all this wire work? And of course we all were because, yeah, you know, to be, to be in an action film, that's something that I think myself and Michael Starr, all of us had always dreamt of doing. And so when you see the movie, that's us doing all of the stunts and fighting. And I had a sword fighting instructor for months. But it's fun. I mean, when, when you kill people in this movie, they turn into coins.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Jason Schwartzman]

It is like a video game. But much like you felt about bored to death with reading, I don't want anyone who's listening to this to think I don't know anything about youth or video games. I don't. This movie is not for me because honestly, a lot of people talked about it like, ah, it's a video game movie. It's a video game. It's a comic book movie. Video games. I don't know anything about that. That's not for me. Well, I don't know anything about comic books or video games. And it really isn't about that. It's just based on a comic book.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Jason Schwartzman]

But it stands alone as this amazing action comedy that is, like, it's. And Michael Cera, I think it's his best movie ever. And that's just because you're in it. It's just so funny. Like the idea of a guy fighting seven ex evil boyfriends to keep his.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Girlfriend to get one girl.

[Jason Schwartzman]

And the fights are insane. And the dvd, the Blu Ray is full of so much stuff.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Well, cool. Yeah. And it's definitely something I want to check out. Now we have to get to the questions we asked Vince Vaughn really quickly. We ask everybody this because you're higher than all of us. We're slugs in life, and we have to bring you down to earth. Okay, ready?

[Jason Schwartzman]

Okay.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

How did you lose your.

[Jason Schwartzman]

What was it like? Shooting swingers?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, no, different.

[Jason Schwartzman]

We didn't know what we were doing. We were innocent. We were innocent at the time. You know, we just kept saying, it's money, but we didn't know what that meant.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

How did you lose your virginity? How old were you? No, no, stop it.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Oh.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Did you really have it? Was it a lovely experience?

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

How old were you?

[Jason Schwartzman]

18.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Nice. Okay, there you go. And the next one is. When's the last time you had an accident in your pants? Oh, pooped your pants.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Oh, oh, oh. The accent.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Everybody's done it. It just makes you feel like you're one of us, Jason.

[Producer or Co-host]

Saturday, I was coming off the flu, and I was healthy, ready to go. I bent over to put a sock on horrible incident.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

But this makes you one of us.

[Jason Schwartzman]

That's my cousin right there. That's my cousin.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That's your boy. You're related, so I know you got a story.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Not in a long time. Not in months.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

In months. It's been months. Do you even remember the last time?

[Jason Schwartzman]

I mean, I don't. I just. I. No, I mean, it was so. It was so many months ago.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

All right, People are ducking this question. I don't like it. We think.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I wonder why.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Well, because I had my. My big one was in 8th grade basketball practice, and I had a pair of sweats on, and I had just finally made the first team, and I got sick, and I thought I could just, you know. And the next thing you know, I'm like, oh, no, I just crap my pants at basketball practice. Do I leave or do I stay on the first team? Because if I leave, I'm going to get cut.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Wow.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

And that was my story.

[Producer or Co-host]

And the coach pulled my side.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Homeburg.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

They asked me to leave. They asked me to leave. I didn't know what to do. You have. You have no stories like this because you know. You know Jason play basketball. Everyone listening has one.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Yeah, I know you do, too. I'm sure that. I know. I. I can't tell you why. Because it's not gonna be as good as yours.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, mine's not very good. Make one.

[Producer or Co-host]

Make us wait for it on your.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I'll give it to you when. I'll give it to you later. All right, I'll give you that one. But next question.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Can I have a little bandit mask? Yes, thank you. I would like a little ash bandit mask. That would be nice. Okay. That's all I asked for for this interview. Hopefully we've done well.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I remember one time I was doing the Voice, that thing, and I was running and I was laughing so hard. I just had 10 cups of coffee and some laxatives, and I'll tell you something. Look out.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

It was on.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Okay, next. Next.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, that's it. And now, grade the interview, please, A through F. Hey, really, thank you very much.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I'll take that.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That's a great. I'm not gonna argue with you. I mean, the subject.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I'll tell you. You want to know what makes an A?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

What's that?

[Jason Schwartzman]

That we feel like we're actually listening to each other and connecting.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

That's great. Jason Schwartzman, everybody. Jason Schwartzman. Thank you very much. I agree completely with everything you just said. Thank you, guys.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Watch Conan last night?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, we missed it.

[Byron from MMP Guns]

Well, one.

[Dick Toledo]

Steelers were on.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

The Steelers.

[Jason Schwartzman]

So happy to be. To have him back.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, No, I am, too. I love. Are you a Team Coco, then?

[Jason Schwartzman]

I'm. I'm Team Coco.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Jason Schwartzman]

I mean, I love them all. I mean, I love everybody.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Jason, you're getting us in trouble with your people, okay? They're calling my producer over and over.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Steelers.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

You. You call us anytime you want, sir, and I'll read books to you later.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Great. Thank you very much.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Thank you, man. Jason Schwartzman, there he is. Part of. Wow. That was fun. He was a lot better than I thought. Three calls. Yeah. The producer's all over Twitter. You guys, shut up. It's him.

[Dick Toledo]

You know what's great?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

He's asking me questions.

[Producer or Co-host]

The producer couldn't hook it.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

Yeah, I know. Which is even better. It's at his house, so that was.

[Producer or Co-host]

We should have kept him on.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I'm a fan of Jason. Yeah. What's the. Yeah, we shouldn't have. I. Screw it. It was cool on the party. It was like.

[Brett Vesely]

Man.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

The reason why is because their producers and their people were cool about him.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

When they start kicking into our interview, we're going to have to wrap this up, guys. Then I'm going to push him until they hang. We have him on again. I am a fan of Jason Schwarzman. I might go back and watch Rushmore again. Turn me. Me too. I thought he would be a butthole, to be honest with you. And he's not. He's the opposite of a butthole. He has a front hole.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

I don't know what the opposite of that is. I think.

[Jason Schwartzman]

Is that a positive?

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

It's a touch hole. I'm not sure what it is. I liked him, though. He was very.

[Producer or Co-host]

I told you guys, I don't have bad relatives.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

No, your family is very sweet, Brady. Maybe get some of that money, too.

[Dick Toledo]

It's out of control now.

[John Holmberg]

98K u p d it's John Holberg.

[Doug Hopkins]

Here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group. And Doug Hopkins, have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have.

[Radio Host (Interviewer)]

And one reason or another, you just didn't do it.

[Doug Hopkins]

Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Dick Toledo]

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