12-29-25 - BR - MIX - Rico Blaze For Law Enforcement Day - The Great Who's Faster Debate Between Manatees And Michael Phelps - Dec/Jan 2024 - BO

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Dec 29, 2025

Episode Theme:
A Character-Driven Law Enforcement Day, Animal Velocity Debates, and Classic Banter

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Episode Overview

In this lively installment, Arizona's #1 morning radio team blends sharp humor with absurdity and curiosity. The crew, led by John Holmberg and featuring Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and special character Rico Blaze, marks National Law Enforcement Day with wild riffs and over-the-top characters. They tackle quirky news items, debate "Who’s Faster: Manatees or Michael Phelps?" and wander through the wonders (and oddities) of animal speed. Their playful arguments and unfiltered observations make for a show that entertains and pokes fun at itself—and its listeners.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. National Law Enforcement Day – Rico Blaze’s Wild Tribute [02:10–06:16]

• Rico Blaze (Holmberg’s recurring character) celebrates National Law Enforcement Day with the show’s signature outrageous, irreverent style, blending tongue-in-cheek machismo with cheeky innuendo.

  • Notable joke about “arresting” women under 170 pounds with “corporal punishment” and a “Rico nightstick.”
  • Blaze riffs on Miranda rights:

    “You have the right to remain silent, but I prefer if you don’t. You have the right to an attorney to film the entire activity.” (RICO Blaze, 04:24)

  • Listeners and the crew riff, revealing “King Nut a Lot” (Rico’s online persona).

• Memorable bit: Rico fantasies on being a cop for “National Law Enforcement Day,” “arresting perps,” and his sex tape being accidentally broadcast.

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2. Baseless Fun Facts + Unfiltered Banter [02:18–06:16, 06:21–09:40]

• Giant Clams & Cake-Baking Ovens:

  • John: “Once a giant clam settles into a place, it stays there for life. Which can be 100 years or more.”
  • Quickly derailed with “Brady, we’re not talking about your mom anymore…”

• Tech Talk: New oven, “Sevy,” as fast as a microwave—nervous speculation about unchecked technology and future side effects.

• Animal Innovations:

  • AI-powered cat door (“Flappy”) that blocks cats from bringing in dead animals, prompting a slew of “pussy/flappy” jokes from Rico Blaze.

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3. The Great Manatee vs. Michael Phelps Debate [08:18–14:54, 17:05–29:27]

Debate Sparked:

• John tosses in a fact: “Michael Phelps swims slower than a manatee.”
• Brady: “I would assume those plump sea cows… live in the water.”
• John: “Phelps’ speed is 6 miles per hour, manatee can get up to 20.”
• The group discusses whether it’s ever reasonable for humans to think they might compete with sea creatures in their own realm.

Host Arguments/Banter:

• Brady: “The only thing slower in the ocean than Michael Phelps is a reef or a starfish.”
• John: “He’s not going to be faster than a fish. Just not a thing.” (09:19)
• The crew laughs at the idea of “manatees hanging out with alligators playing card games.”
• Listener piping in: “Manatee will outrun a shark, though. I just found that out. 12 mile an hour is a shark.”
  • Brady snaps:

    “Congratulations. You took all the way to December to tell us the dumbest thing of the year.” (18:19)

Brady and John’s Constant Thread:

• Jabs about zoos: “You cannot judge speeds you’ve seen in a zoo. Those animals are depressed.” (12:44)
• Riffs on absurdity: “If fish had the Olympics, a manatee would win the hundred yard dash for manatees, but wouldn’t brag about beating humans.”
• Rapid-fire: Goldfish and koi mentioned as even faster than Phelps.

Listener Quotes and Meta Commentary

• Listener: “Do you ever think about your life and realize that you’re arguing with a man with a fish fetish?” (16:20)
• Brady: “Not on land. You don’t follow. You’re not following... He said he can run faster than a sea cow. Not then. It can swim.” (17:10)

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4. Other Oddball “Fun Facts” and Tangent Arguments [10:06–30:00]

• Saddam Hussein wrote a romance novel—crew breezes past it, more interested in the Michael Phelps debate.
• Tokyo’s Four-Day Work Week for government workers to encourage having kids—meets the obligatory “that’s a good deal” and is dropped.
• WWII Bat Bombs:
  • The US tried strapping bombs to bats—sparked a practical arms-carrying analysis,

    “If you’re in a situation where you need to lob a grenade, the last thing you need to do is tie it to a bat first. Just throw it yourself.” (22:18)

  • The team wonders about using Malaysian “fox bats” (the world’s largest bat).
• Sacagawea’s disputed death date and a geography tangent on Malaysia.

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5. A Job for Everyone—If You Hate Everyone [18:31–20:09]

• John shares a thread of “jobs perfect for people who don’t like people,” prompting comedic daydreaming:
  • Power plant operator (queue Homer Simpson reference)
  • Pathologist/morgue doctor
  • Lighthouse keeper (“They say it’s so cold though; I could do that, I could isolate a bit” – Brady)
  • The last lighthouse keeper in America—a woman named Sally Snowman

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• [04:24] RICO Blaze: “You have the right to remain silent, but I prefer if you don’t.”
• [06:51] John: “Two brothers from Switzerland came up with a new cat door called Flappy…”
• [12:44] Brady: “You cannot judge speeds you’ve seen in a zoo. Those animals are depressed.”
• [14:19] John: “A goldfish is faster than Michael Phelps. He lives in the water. He’s gonna do better. You know what else he’s better at? Staying underwater.”
• [17:10] Brady: “Not on land. You don’t follow. You’re not following... He said he can run faster than a sea cow. Not then. It can swim.”
• [18:19] Brady: “Congratulations. You took all the way to December to tell us the dumbest thing of the year.”
• [22:18] Brady: “If you’re in a situation where you need to lob a grenade, the last thing you need to do is tie it to a bat first.”
• [26:18] Brady: “Fun fact, dumbass. Did you know pigeons can fly faster than men?”
• [28:33] Brady: “Like Lizzo and her tail. Big fat tail. I get it.”
• [29:19] Listener/Caller John: “Way to go, Brady. The one thing humans have over animals is thinking and brain power. And somehow we’re losing that battle today, too.”

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Final Impressions & Tone

• The show embodies a “barroom argument” but with local radio charm—unafraid to let debates spiral, and always ready to undercut itself with a joke, self-aware put-down, or wild factoid.
• The animal speed debate is emblematic: a simple “fun fact” balloons into 20+ minutes of combative, ridiculous banter, calling out anyone who ever believed a human could outswim a sea creature.
• The recurring theme: Humans may be smart, but we are often gloriously, hilariously dumb—and the hosts are here to remind us, loudly and lovingly.

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For listeners who missed it:
Expect sharp jabs, relentless running gags, and a whole lot of riffing on animal facts, masculinity, and the things we think we know but definitely don’t. If you thought Michael Phelps was faster than a manatee, prepare for a humbling, hilarious education.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[RICO Blaze]

All they show with none of the fluff.

[Brady]

Let's get started.

[RICO Blaze]

There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness.

[Brady]

It is time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade. AllProChade.com is where you go if you want beautiful shade. You want something to fix that back patio. You want a TV on the back patio. Everybody's doing that. Every house it's a seems has a nice little setup on the back patio with TVs and you know, place to hang out. It's like a living room outside because we live in paradise. Why wouldn't you? So you can make it even better by putting a beautiful electric motorized awning on the back of your home that makes it look like it's supposed to be there, not like it's just an attachment. Get rid of these silly umbrellas that I got going on and start making things work out the way it's supposed to. AllProchade.com will give you a free heater if you get a motorized shade for your Backyard or front yard, wherever you want to put it right now. And that is a smoking deal. A great Christmas holiday special. AllProche.com Brady reporter Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hello, world.

[Brett Vesely]

Hi.

[John]

Happy National Law Enforcement Day.

[Brady]

Tip your cap to that, boys and girls in blue.

[John]

Couple of baseless fun facts. Once a giant clam settles into a place and begins to grow.

[Brady]

Brady, we're not talking about your mom anymore. Stop. That conversation is over.

[John]

Tap it off. It settles into a place and it stays there for life. Which can be 100 years or more.

[Brady]

Oh no.

[RICO Blaze]

Why?

[Brady]

Okay.

[RICO Blaze]

Hey, baby, how you doing? It's RICO Blaze up in the house on National Law Enforcement Day. And I'm gonna enforce it right inside you whether you want it or not, baby. All right. How you celebrating today, Brady?

[John]

With you.

[RICO Blaze]

Wanna lick with you?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Wow.

[Commercial Announcer]

That's bold for you.

[RICO Blaze]

It is bold for you, Brady, to assume that you would be in the same car as me on National Law.

[Brady]

Enforcement Day while I'm pulling up and.

[RICO Blaze]

Arresting all that boon out there in the city today.

[Brady]

All right?

[RICO Blaze]

It's gonna be a nice day. Yes, I'm gonna say. Ooh, looks like you've been drinking blow and mist. I know there ain't nothing in my hands, girl, but I can tell if you're drunk or not just by that activity. All right? It's also a day of national law enforcement where RICO Blaze has made it. So if under 170 pounds, you under arrest, baby. Cause I don't want to see that. I want ladies over 170 walking my streets. If you under 170 get to eatin, girl. It's time for a little corporal punishment, if you know what I'm talking about. Get a little RICO nightstick up in this thing. I want to hear you say it. Get your hands behind my back. I like when a woman says, I can't breathe, that means I'm doing it right. National Law Enforcement Day's important. Old RICO Blaze, you know how it is. I gotta arrest a couple perps, get to my house and file some reports while I'm buried in that big white ass I picked up on the way over. God damn. Check me out online. What was my name online again? I forgot. It was ridiculous. Forgot it all the way around. You asking your Miranda rights? Last time I checked with that bitch, she was fine. Miranda's doing all right. You have the right to remain silent, but I prefer if you don't. You have the right to an attorney to film the entire activity. Oh, yeah. I got myself my Little chest camera on.

[Brady]

That's right.

[RICO Blaze]

We're gonna film this entire endeavor, baby. H. I'm gonna show up. Another cop's gonna come, and another cop's gonna come. There'll be cops coming all day long if you call us today.

[Listener/Caller John]

By the way, I don't know how you forgot your online Persona. King Nut a lot.

[RICO Blaze]

That's right. King Nut a Lot. I forgot about that. Well, it's been a minute. I was banned for a little while, but.

[Brady]

That's right.

[RICO Blaze]

King Nut a Lot. Oh, looks like I'm getting a call on my radio. Wrinkle Blaze. We got us a live 69 in progress. I'm on my way. God damn. Also, evidently, I'm a Dolphins fan. And we in the playoffs. I just saw a picture of myself. I can't do this character while Toledo pulls up my actual sex videos. That's screwing things up right now, cuz. Looking at King Nut a Lot actually in action and doing the voice, I can do play by play in my own work if you'd like. Let me get my beanie on. I like to wear a beanie. I like to look like a big rubber, but I don't wear em. I'm gonna give you the bumps, baby. Cuz nothing stops me. You got hemorrhoids. That's all right. That's just like going through a car wash. Happy National Law Enforcement day. This is Brett's fault.

[Brady]

Ow.

[Listener/Caller John]

You ain't posted in a few months.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Byron]

My God.

[Brady]

God.

[John]

There's a brand called Sevy that has a new oven that is fast. That is as fast as a microwave. They claim it doesn't give chicken and other meat that rubbery texture like a microwave. And you can also bake it in under a minute. You can bake a cake in under four minutes.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, sounds like nuclear or something.

[Brady]

What the. I don't know if I'm.

[RICO Blaze]

I'm not interested in that until they.

[Brady]

I want to see a year or two of that in action before I see all the tumors popping up on folks.

[John]

Two brothers from Switzerland came up with a new cat door called Flappy. And that prevents what is Rico Blaze.

[Commercial Announcer]

Talk earlier this morning.

[Listener/Caller John]

Are you kidding me?

[RICO Blaze]

You talking about pussy Flappy? Is it door for your kitty? Is it in the front or back of the house? I only prefer one.

[Brady]

You don't like both.

[John]

You can put it anywhere you want.

[RICO Blaze]

Rico, I don't like those two words together. Sorry, baby. It's a little flappy for my taste. Put a little syrup on it, though. You got flapjacks now we're talking.

[John]

So Flappy prevents cats from bringing dead mice inside. How? It's outfitted with an AI that can detect a dead animal in your cat's mouth and it won't let them enter until they drop it.

[Brady]

So it's just the cat turns into Wile E. Coyote and runs into a wall that looks like it's got a painted door on it.

[John]

Yep. Well, or. Yeah. Or taps the paw to try to open the door. Yeah, but it'll.

[Brady]

It ain't open.

[John]

It's not opening. Elk drops that creature.

[Brady]

I didn't know that was needed in this world, but apparently. Yeah, you cat's out there catching mice in the backyard and bringing them to you.

[John]

Ugh.

[Brady]

Doing his job. I know, but you get mice in the backyard. Make it an indoor common Jerry. Although now it's just Tom. It's called. Got him.

[John]

Michael Phelps swims slower than a manatee.

[Brady]

I would assume that those plump sea.

[John]

Cows, they live in the water. Phelps, his speed is 6 miles per hour, right? Manatee can get up to 20 miles per hour.

[Additional Caller]

It's a fish.

[Listener/Caller John]

Yeah.

[John]

What's got a big paddle?

[Brady]

Were you thinking that was a close race?

[John]

Well, if you, you know, ever see a manatee in the wild.

[Brady]

Yeah, but if it's like at its top speed, I'm assuming the ocean fish, mammal, whatever it is.

[John]

Well, they're fresh water.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

And brackish.

[Brady]

I guess they're in the oceans. They get hit by those ocean boats all the time.

[John]

In the Keys Atlantic. No, I've only seen them in.

[Brady]

Well, it doesn't mean they don't live somewhere else.

[Listener/Caller John]

I've only seen them where.

[Brady]

Yeah, they live outside of freshwater as well.

[John]

They basically are.

[Brady]

Otherwise they'd be in lakes.

[John]

They get in.

[Brady]

They're both okay either way. They're faster than Michael Phelps. And anybody who thought different is an idiot. Like, the only thing slower in the ocean than Michael Phelps is a reef or a starfish. Stuff that grows. He's not going to be faster than a fish. Just not a thing.

[John]

Well, it's a mammal.

[Brady]

Okay. It's in. Does it live in or out of the water?

[John]

Mostly in.

[Brady]

Is he? So sometimes they beach. Hang around, man. Okay.

[John]

I don't think that's stuck every once.

[Brady]

That's not living, is it? That's getting stuck. That's being. That's different. Anything can get stuck. When you get stuck in water, you don't become a water animal part time. You're drowning. Yeah, there's a difference.

[John]

Saddam Hussein wrote a romance novel in 2000. It was called Zebedah and the King. It was about a woman who leaves her cruel husband for the king of medieval Iraq.

[Brady]

I'm still sort of stuck on the whole Michael Phelps thing that we had to have a debate.

[John]

Anything knowing that, you know, I've seen manatees a lot.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

Because they have a big manatee exhibit at the Columbus Zoo.

[Brady]

It's.

[John]

And I've never seen them. It's a bit. It's pretty big enough that they could, you know, do a power lap in that, but they don't move because they're depressed. I didn't realize that they could go up to 20 miles per hour, Brady.

[Brady]

I seen cheetahs at their zoo territory. I've seen cheetahs at three different.

[Listener/Caller John]

The three main types of manatee.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Listener/Caller John]

Pretty much all of the Gulf of Mexico.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Listener/Caller John]

And the Caribbean.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And so they're inland most of the time. They're on fresh water in lakes.

[Brady]

But, yeah, there. There's a lot of ocean manatee as well. Is that outside of Florida is fairly oceany.

[Listener/Caller John]

Amazonian is the one that you're looking at there.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're in the. They're in the lakes. Either way, who's the more on a thought, I bet you Michael Phelps could take one of those.

[John]

That'd be a good challenge.

[RICO Blaze]

No, it wouldn't.

[Listener/Caller John]

No. He's gonna lose by like a third.

[Brady]

You know what?

[John]

All you do is just put a head of lettuce out front. Let me tell you, this coming at you like.

[Brady]

Let me put it in perspective for you. That isn't the dumbest man alive's perspective. If the fish had the Olympics every once in a while on the ocean, right. And occasionally the fish would be like, oof, manatees doing the 100 yard dash. One would win. Like, a manatee would win the hundred yard dash. It wouldn't be fast, but he'd win it. And maybe he'd be faster than all the other manatees, but he would never look at people and say, surprisingly, those land dwellers, much faster on land than us. They talk about it, they don't talk about it. They would never bring it up because they're smarter than us. We have the arrogance to look in the ocean and go, you know, Michael Phelps, slower than a manatee. I knew that. We're not.

[John]

I thought he swam a little. I thought it'd be a little bit.

[Brady]

Faster than you were thinking. 20, 25 miles an hour.

[John]

No, not for Michael Phelps, but I thought he'd be like 10 miles per hour. Or something.

[Brady]

You thought it would juice up, though. Close to Manatee's top speed.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's stupid. That's a dumb thing to think.

[Listener/Caller John]

God damn it. I hate you, Brady. Because my first thought was because of last week. I wonder if they hang out with alligators, right?

[Brady]

And crocodiles. I've seen them overlap.

[John]

Yeah. They hang out, you know, a lot of card games.

[Brady]

You cannot judge speeds you've seen in a zoo. Because those animals are.

[John]

All right.

[Brady]

Depressed.

[John]

I know, but I've also seen them in the wild, in the water.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

They're rarely. You have because you've been out.

[Brady]

No, absolutely, I'm out. You have seen them at the beach. You have seen them surface. I saw probably begging for food you guys were throwing at them.

[John]

No, we weren't throwing any food.

[Brady]

Somebody was throwing something to make them.

[John]

Look back 20, 30ft. Then, like coming for shark.

[Brady]

They do.

[John]

They move pretty good when they get out of the way because they don't.

[Brady]

Want 20 miles an hour. And Michael Phelps isn't always swimming. So if you saw him in the wild. No. If you saw him in the wild, you'd be like, he doesn't look that fast in the water.

[Listener/Caller John]

You had to bring that point.

[Brady]

I know. And he got defensive. I'm just saying it's dumb to think that ocean animals could be beaten by human swimmers.

[John]

Giant lumbering dust him.

[Brady]

Because the ocean is huge in scale. They're not that big.

[Listener/Caller John]

Oh, John, how you underestimate our stupidity. And easily forget that Shark Week had Michael Phelps race shark for all the morons out there.

[John]

Which goes like 30 or 40 miles per hour.

[Brady]

It doesn't matter. It should have never happened. We shouldn't have the debate. A goldfish is faster than Michael Phelps. He lives in the water. He's gonna do better. You know what else he's better at? Staying underwater. We don't have that.

[John]

I bet you he'd beat a goldfish.

[Brady]

I'll go Phelps something if the goldfish knew it was in a race.

[Listener/Caller John]

Manatee will outrun a shark, though. I just found that out.

[Brady]

You wanna know?

[Listener/Caller John]

12 mile an hour is a shark.

[Brady]

You wanna know which one? I know he'd lose long distance.

[Listener/Caller John]

Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Over time. To everything.

[John]

I don't know, man.

[Brady]

I do know. I a hundred percent know. The fact that story happened makes me want to cut your head off and.

[John]

Hold it up for the people and.

[Brady]

Just say, I've killed the weather. I have killed the weatherman.

[RICO Blaze]

Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[RICO Blaze]

Homburg's Morning sickness.

[Listener/Caller John]

John, do you ever think about your life and realize that you're arguing with a man who has a fish fetish?

[Brady]

I know.

[Additional Caller]

And I think I can catch him.

[Brady]

You know, with my hands.

[John]

I'm sorry you weren't impressed with that fun fact.

[Listener/Caller John]

Oh, no, Here.

[Brady]

It wasn't a fun fact. It wasn't a surprise to me.

[John]

The only surprise wasn't up to your standard.

[Brady]

Not at all. Not even a little bit? No. It's a dumb man thing.

[John]

I didn't know you knew that much about manatees.

[Brady]

I don't know that much about manatees, but I do know they're faster than People in the water just like we're faster than them on land.

[Listener/Caller John]

John, let me jump on this before Brady gets there. This just in. Michael Phelps runs faster than a sea cow.

[Brady]

Thank you. There you go. That's my point. And if the sea cows had their hundred yard dashboard, you'd have one out there. Because he's the fastest.

[John]

I'm going to debate that. Fastest land sea cow around 20 miles per hour.

[Brady]

Not on land. You don't follow. You're not following. You've been just taking nap. He said he can run faster than a sea cow. Not then. It can swim.

[John]

Have you seen them run?

[Brady]

That's my point. Brady. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna have you check.

[John]

They can run these little gems.

[Additional Caller]

I've seen them in Florida running from.

[Brady]

A little chubby man with an erection. Yeah, I believe they can get up.

[John]

I thought that was a manatee.

[Brady]

You're the Jay Z of the man.

[Listener/Caller John]

Cartoon sound effect in your head too.

[Additional Caller]

Going to catch you with this boner. Manatee. I'm a manatee.

[Listener/Caller John]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

That's what he would.

[Listener/Caller John]

He would 100% do that.

[John]

Tokyo adopts a four day work week for all the government employees to encourage them to have kids. That's a pretty good deal.

[Brady]

Goldfish can swim 22 miles an hour.

[John]

No way.

[Additional Caller]

Michael Phelps has been. Humans are better than fish in the water. That's a statement.

[Brady]

Come on. Well, that's. Congratulations. You took all the way to December. Tell us the dumbest thing of the year.

[Additional Caller]

I'm gonna go ahead and go on a limb and try to say the dumbest thing ever right now.

[John]

There's a thread online that was going around people suggesting jobs that are perfect for people who don't like people.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Power plant operator. Most of it's sitting in a room on a control Panel.

[Brady]

Panel Sector 7G. Homer Simpson.

[John]

Some kinds of doctors. Like a pathologist or morgue doctor.

[Brady]

That's a great gig. Lighthouse keepers always fascinated me. They say it's so cold though. I could do that. I could isolate a bit.

[Listener/Caller John]

It's.

[Brady]

The problem is with like dogs, like I need dogs. I don't know. Lighthouse would be a really good place for dogs. Stairs and stuff.

[John]

Nice.

[Brady]

Dogs get older. Security guard carry them up and down steps.

[John]

A baker. The only con is you have to wake up really early. Commercial truck driver gets lonely on the road.

[Brady]

And you gotta hand it to lighthouse operators too because you rarely hear like boats crashed because the lighthouse guy was off his game.

[John]

I wonder what the population is up to on the lighthouse keepers. Like especially here in the United States. It's over a hundred.

[Brady]

There's one in Hawaii that I would do all day, so. And Kauai, just stunning. And it just sits on the edge of this like little peninsula. Beautiful green. You know, you're sitting there in the prettiest place in the world, just flashing a light at boats. Oh, there's pretty much no more lighthouse keepers. They're out. I think they're all automatic now.

[John]

So. Yeah, right here.

[Brady]

That's it, huh? There's only one Sally Snowman that's not a real person. She quit last December. The only lighthouse in the United States with a keeper is Boston Light and Boston Harbor Islands. Oh man. The lighthouse has to remain staffed up until 1989. Sally Snowman was the last Coast Guard lighthouse keeper in the United States and the first woman to hold the role. Well, leave it to a woman to ruin it for everyone else. Oh man. They're all automated now, huh? And GPS has made them obsolete. John, looks like you guys are moving to Dick Broadcasting. Cuz that's where the manatees live show. Brady, for once and for all, be our show mascot. I'd be standing on that beach just going, yeah, fat ass, move Sea cow.

[Additional Caller]

They're not as fast as Michael Phelps.

[Brady]

Well, currently, no. They don't know they're in a race. They're just kind of hanging around relaxing.

[Listener/Caller John]

How do you get the sea cows to have urgency?

[Brady]

Brady's the guy that sees Michael Phelps at a son's game sitting down.

[Additional Caller]

Doesn't look like.

[Brady]

Look at him.

[Additional Caller]

Doesn't look that fast to me.

[John]

Sea Cow National Raceway.

[Additional Caller]

I can beat him.

[Brady]

He's just sitting there.

[John]

Let's go with some, a couple of radio videos.

[RICO Blaze]

I got a ton of people.

[Brady]

Just did a little googling. Thanks, Brady. Goldfish would smoke Michael Phelps. Koi fish is faster. They're all faster. They're fish.

[John]

During World War II, the US tried to train bats to drop bombs. It was called Project X Ray.

[Brady]

How little were those bombs?

[John]

No kidding. Unless they use grenades, fox or those fruit bats that are huge.

[Brady]

I mean a bomb carrying bat is. Yeah, because I've seen the fruit bats and they're pretty good size, but they're not.

[John]

They could, they could handle a grenade.

[Brady]

That's about it. So can I throw maybe a couple of grenades? How far does it have to go?

[Listener/Caller John]

No, a grenade is pretty solid as well.

[Brady]

Here, let me, let me tell you this. If you're in a situation where you need to lob a grenade, the last thing you need to do is tie it to a bat first. Just throw it yourself. It's gonna. You're killing a lot of time tying it to the bat. Unless the bats are trained to pick them up. Pull the pin. That's dumb.

[Listener/Caller John]

Standard fragmentation grenade weighs no more than £2.

[Brady]

Still a lot for a bat to carry.

[Listener/Caller John]

That's what I was thinking.

[Brady]

I mean like body weight. Right? Owl maybe. An owl like you cared about seven or eight pounds.

[John]

Look. I think it's a fox bat. If they. That's the only thing they could use if they're trying to do a grenade.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Small bat. Come close.

[Brady]

I don't even know what a fox bat is.

[Listener/Caller John]

I don't either. I. I defer to him on that.

[Brady]

Shouldn't you just go to like pigeon?

[Listener/Caller John]

Fox bat weighs 8.1 pounds.

[John]

They're not even native here. I think they're.

[Brady]

We can import them for bomb usage. But then we're Malaysian fox bats. Of course. Brady. What's about the Malaysian fox bat? He can't read.

[Listener/Caller John]

Do they have him out at Christy Zoo? Is that how you know that?

[John]

I don't think so.

[Additional Caller]

I just know a lot about Malaysian bats. Big words throw me though.

[John]

Sacagawea.

[Brady]

Huh?

[John]

Sacajawea.

[RICO Blaze]

Okay.

[John]

Hell's that. Either died in 1812 when she was in her mid-20s. 20s.

[Brady]

Out of nowhere with that.

[RICO Blaze]

Just threw a sock in your way.

[Brady]

That's what I thought. What the hell is that? I thought she was behind me. The way he kept saying it.

[John]

She either died in 1812 or in 1884 when she was in her 90s. Historians have proof both ways.

[Brady]

No they don't.

[John]

But can't disprove only one way.

[Brady]

Either one story's flawed. By saying two people have proof both ways. And they're different.

[John]

Different.

[Brady]

They have evidence. They don't have proof.

[John]

A town called Alert and none of it. Canada is the northernmost place in the world where people live. And it's still 500 miles from the North Pole.

[Listener/Caller John]

None of it is the name of the place.

[Brady]

Look at the size of that Malaysian bat Brady was talking about.

[John]

I'm guessing he. He could probably carry a grenade.

[Listener/Caller John]

Five foot wingspan.

[Brady]

I would be more afraid of the thing than the grenade.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's big as the late. What's Malaysia? That Lady's only like 3:1.

[Listener/Caller John]

If that's dive bombing at you though.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. No. I'm horrified.

[Listener/Caller John]

I'm not worried about the grenade.

[Brady]

It's a man in a batsuit. Yeah.

[John]

Very, very friendly.

[Brady]

But the worst part is that we would import them in to do bombing. And then they get loose and hang around here. And now we've got those all over our city. Cool. That's just hanging out, all cloaked up in its coat. That is a neat thing.

[John]

It's a dog with wings.

[Listener/Caller John]

There's your standard bed.

[Brady]

The amazing basic stuff you don't know. And then that.

[Additional Caller]

They'Re in Malaysia.

[John]

What?

[Brady]

You don't even. You couldn't find Malaysia on a map if I gave you the word Malaysia.

[Listener/Caller John]

Mid, early twenties.

[John]

It's near Asia.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's over there, but it's in the mall area of Malaysia.

[John]

The Mall of Asia?

[Brady]

Mall of Asia. It's the biggest place for shopping. Dammit, John, will you leave Pop Pop alone and stop bullying him? He's lived a long, long time and he's seen a lot of stuff. Let him believe.

[Listener/Caller John]

God damn it, John, just print out the onion every morning and hand that to him. It's more valid.

[Brady]

You won't question it. Two dudes with no shirts on. I wonder if Michael Phelps beat a manatee in the water. He's a pretty fast swimmer. Them manatees look to be fairly stationary here while we just throw lettuce at them and such. Cause I ain't eating it.

[Listener/Caller John]

You know, all these years, I used to believe that the listeners were dumb for believing your Tempe Town Lake submarine race story. Now I believe it came from Brady.

[Brady]

Hey, fun fact, dumbass. Did you know that pigeons can fly faster than men?

[Additional Caller]

Not on planes.

[Brady]

All right, shut up. It's pretty. Pretty remarkable that we had people. It's not Brady's fault. It's Brady's fault for believing that it was a valid test. But for anybody to suggest that Michael Phelps was faster than a sea creature other than a starfish. Like, if you said, you know, he's faster than starfish, I'm like, yeah, those don't move. But the minute it puts, you know, one of those things on its ass. A fin. Pretty sure a fin makes you faster than all of us. I can't name many finned things that are. That are slower than Michael Phelps unless they're injured. And even then, that's a special ocean Olympian. He'd probably still beat him anyway.

[John]

How fast a beaver goes?

[Brady]

Is that a fin or a paddle?

[John]

That's different.

[Brady]

It's different. A fin's different than a pedal. I know, but a finger different.

[John]

Manatee has.

[Brady]

It has a fin. It's not so much just a mud slapping paddle. Yeah, yeah, but that's a fin in water. That's a fin. And they Live in water. They don't get out and build dams with it.

[John]

I know, but a beaver in the. It scoots.

[Brady]

How many beavers get it? How in the world. I bet you beaver could out.

[John]

That's what I was saying.

[Brady]

I'm sure they're amphibious, so you can give them a little bit of a muskrat. Maybe, I don't know. But we're talking about mana, whatever that thing is on the back, paddle, fin or otherwise. Built for speed, my friend in the drink. Not saying he's the fastest drink animal, but he's faster than us. Did Michael Phelps have to put anything on and get in water and swim to prove this? Or we just go to old tapes? Because if we spend a penny on this.

[John]

No, I think they just clock him in the pool.

[Brady]

I'm gonna go full Luigi Mangione and go over to that facility. Go. Who spent the money on the manatee? Phelps Study SS over here. Two million. Okay, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to kill you both. What? Just for the benefit of people.

[Listener/Caller John]

Beavers use their tail as a rudder while swimming. They use their tails for balance on land and when carrying heavy objects like.

[John]

Logs or trees and patent mud.

[Listener/Caller John]

And they slap their tails on the water as a signal of danger. And they store fat in their tails to survive the winter when food is scarce.

[Brady]

Like Lizza in her tail. Big fat tail. I get it. All right, There you go. I hope you learned something today, because if you did, you're the dumbest person in the world. But not. Not as bad as you thought.

[John]

Phelps was faster.

[Brady]

If you thought that at all in your life, just take a seat and reassess how you've lived. I could have sworn that man would out swum something in the ocean.

[Listener/Caller John]

God damn it, John. It's 25 minutes I've been searching right now, and the only thing I've found on the Google machine is a dwarf seahorse that Michael Phelps could.

[Brady]

Yeah, and even then, I'm not sure what that is. Is it a fish? Is it. I don't know what those things are. Those are mistakes. I think those are where sea monkeys just poured their first batch in the ocean and said this was a mistake, and they just popped up. The purpose of the seahorse is questionable.

[Listener/Caller John]

Way to go, Brady. The one thing humans have over animals is thinking and brain power. And somehow we're losing that battle today, too.

[Brady]

Now, a manatee might be able to outspeed think, Brady, but that's the only one challenge Brady. And the ones who came up with that fun fact said, I used to listen to the show to escape the fury that I have when I listen to political talks. But I'm finding now that I get more furious with Brady's dumb logic stories than I do Politics got a little flat earther there for a second, but we're out of it. It's out of control.

[John]

Now.

[Brady]

It'S John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm gonna sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now at Doug Hopkins or grab the phone and sing. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about my [e-mail] you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful. With turfmonstersaz.com you can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up, and they can make it a reality. Turf monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turfmonstersaz. Com.