12-29-25 - Remembering John's Wool Seat Covers And Brady's Beloved Subaru Outback - BO

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 12-29-25 – Remembering John’s Wool Seat Covers And Brady’s Beloved Subaru Outback

Date: December 29, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, Byron ("Dick Toledo")

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers a hilarious, nostalgia-filled conversation centered on questionable automotive choices, specifically John Holmberg’s infamous wool seat covers and Brady Bogan’s much-mocked Subaru Outback. Throughout, the hosts riff on the horrors of wool in Arizona heat, the social tragedy of Brady’s “lesbian wagon,” and trade personal stories laced with sarcasm, jabs, and memorable tangents.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. John’s Wool Seat Covers – A Summer Misadventure

[01:05–02:15]

• John begins by recalling his decision to put genuine wool seat covers in his 1990 Jeep—in brutal Arizona summers and without AC.
  • “Spend one summer with wool seat because I got the real sheepskin. Within an hour, I smelled like a wet poodle getting a perm in a sewer.” (John Holmberg, 01:25)
• The smell was so bad, John says, “you could smell my Jeep seven parking spots away.” (01:49)
• Brett and Byron jump in to roast him for the decision, with John admitting it just “looked cool in the wintertime. Awesome summertime. One sweaty day after a basketball game, you hop on those cushions... Oh, this is nice. Not.” (02:03)

2. Brady’s Subaru Outback – The Running Gag

[02:16–13:10]

• The conversation shifts to Brady’s past car, a forest green Subaru Outback with a gold package, complete with fuzzy, smelly seat covers (02:16–04:18).
  • Byron: “Get him in the Subie.” (02:15)
  • John: “Your Subaru was a nightmare. That thing was the hottest car I’ve ever been in. It stunk.” (02:16)
• Ridicule escalates as they make fun of the Outback’s reputation as a “lesbian wagon.”
  • John: “Brady experimented with lesbianism like most girls when they’re 19, except he was in his mid-30s and he was a man.” (02:50)
  • John (mocking dealership staff): “Let’s go get him. No, that’s not a man... That’s a lesbian on chemotherapy.” (05:01)

Notable Quotes

• “You have a wagon. You’re a 31-year-old man. You have a wagon!” (John, 03:16)
• “Chick magnet. Oh, yeah, it was a chick magnet until they saw what was driving it.” (Byron and John, 03:31)

Story Highlights

• Teasing Brady’s car shopping process:
  • Byron suggests he’d been sold the Outback in some convoluted advertising swap (05:22–05:32).
  • Mock scenarios: Subaru sales reps daring each other to sell an Outback to a man.
  • John pretends to be the Subaru rep: “If anybody sells one of these bad boys to a man... And there’s one in our parking lot right now, and he’s not lost or doing maintenance...” (05:59–06:34)
• The car’s legacy:
  • Byron: “The lady that owns it now has 900,000 miles on it running like a tom. She’s moved into 16 different homes with other lesbians.” (08:49–08:54)

The Weather Channel Feature

• Twist on the car’s high points:
  • John: “The things he was bragging about were like, stuff in the 50s. Got an eight tracks, got a weather channel. Two moon roofs.” (09:40–09:56)
  • John recalls: “We went to lunch once, and you turned the weather channel on. 108 degrees. Clear skies tomorrow. 108 degrees, clear skies.” (10:00–10:10)

Visuals and Memories

• Brett searches and finds a picture of a green Outback with a gold package, to which everyone reacts in disbelief (10:18–10:36).
• John shares a vivid memory:
  • “I remember exactly what I was doing and where I was when Brady pulled in. My Quiznos sandwich was in my hand...” (11:01–11:09)

3. Brady’s Outback—An Enduring Punchline

[11:28–13:10]

• The group continues reminiscing about just how “uncool” the car was, with jokes about its limited horsepower and Subaru’s supposed target audience.
  • Byron: “It’s gotta go slow, so people get a good look at it.” (11:36)
  • John: “For your birthday this year, I’m gonna get you one of these.” (11:44)
• Brady reveals he did, in fact, have a girlfriend during that period—leading to teasing about escapades in the Outback and its role in his dating life (12:08–12:35).
  • John: “She was confused, head out of the second moon roof. You banged her in the Subaru and she was bouncing out of the roof. She’s got a story too.” (12:09–12:22)
  • Byron (jokingly): “We should buy that for Kirby. This is what your daddy used to drive...” (12:36)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “Within about an hour. I smelled like a wet poodle getting a perm in a sewer.” – John Holmberg reminisces about his wool seat covers ([01:25])
• “Brady experimented with lesbianism like most girls when they’re 19, except he was in his mid-30s and he was a man.” – John (mocking Brady’s Outback choice) ([02:50])
• “Let’s go get him. No, that’s not a man... That’s a lesbian on chemotherapy.” – John, roleplaying a Subaru sales team ([05:01])
• “Everyone remembers where they were when Kennedy got shot. I remember exactly what I was doing and where I was when Brady pulled in in that thing.” – John (on the infamy of Brady’s car) ([11:09])

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Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|---------------------------------------------| | 01:05 | John’s wool seat covers—summer disaster | | 02:16 | Brady’s Subaru Outback and its reputation | | 05:01 | Subaru sales team dares and dealership roast| | 08:49 | Where the Outback ended up | | 09:40 | Weather Channel and “features” nostalgia | | 10:18 | Brett pulls up a photo of the Outback | | 11:09 | John’s vivid “Kennedy moment” of Brady’s car| | 12:09 | Stories about Brady’s dating life and legacy| | 13:10 | Segment wraps with jokes and future threats |

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Tone and Style

The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and loaded with inside jokes, playing off the hosts’ chemistry and willingness to roast each other mercilessly. They balance nostalgia with biting humor (often at Brady’s expense), creating an environment reminiscent of a group of old friends reminiscing and riffing.

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Takeaways for New Listeners

• If you love car stories, vintage gear fails, and open-mic levels of roasting among friends, this is a classic HMS episode.
• The main joke: “Don’t buy a wool seat cover in Arizona, and never trust your friends to let you live down your worst car purchase.”
• Memorable moments include John’s “wet poodle in a sewer” analogy and the prolonged comedic scenario of Subaru sales guys daring each other to sell an Outback to a man.
• You don’t have to know the original cars to enjoy the banter—just an appreciation for fast-paced, self-deprecating humor.

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Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Byron]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Now there's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. You put wool on in the summer here. Even light wool. That yes smell. I had wool seat covers in my Jeep in 1990. No air conditioning in that thing. Good. Christ. Spend one summer with wool seat because I got the real sheepskin. I got the real ones. I didn't get those fake ones that you get over at AutoZone. I got. I got the real, real one. And within about an hour. I smelled like a wet poodle getting a perm in a sewer. It was years ago. Yeah, they smell horrible. And that was with air conditioning in a Buick. Imagine. Oh yeah, an open air Jeep. And I could still. You could smell my Jeep with the top and doors off about seven parking spots away. Like it smelled like bad shoes.

[Brett Vesely]

Who thought that was a good idea? Back in. I mean, you know, but I mean, who?

[Byron]

Me?

[John Holmberg]

Stupid John. Cuz it looked cool in the wintertime. Awesome summertime. One sweaty day after a basketball game, you hop on those cushy, beautiful sheepskin. Oh, this is nice.

[Byron]

Get him in the Subie.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, your Subaru was a nightmare. That thing was the hottest car I've ever been in. It stunk. Yeah. And I had that.

[Byron]

And I had the dark sheepskin. Oh, does it match better with.

[John Holmberg]

It was black leather, black interior. That was a bad idea. That whole car you got that whole purchase was from beginning middle school.

[Byron]

That was a phase.

[John Holmberg]

That was a phase all right. It was your college days.

[Byron]

If you want to ask me did I experiment. I did.

[John Holmberg]

Brady experimented with lesbianism like most girls when they're 19, except for he was in his mid-30s and he was a man. Showed up in an outback with emerald green gold package. That was awful. I never forget the day Jim Wilson and I got out of the car. Check it out. Got a new ride. We just started laughing. We got a rental car. What do you got here?

[Brady Bogan]

Two moon roofs. Weather channel.

[John Holmberg]

This is the dumbest car I've ever been in. Are you kidding me?

[Byron]

What are you guys talking about?

[John Holmberg]

You have a wagon. You're a 31 year old man. You have a wagon. This thing is sweet. Brady is joking with us. We thought for two days you were kidding around. We just kept waiting for that car to go back to the deal. That's his thought for sure. You got a rental. They just gave you that as a loaner.

[Byron]

Chick magnet.

[John Holmberg]

While your real car. Oh yeah, it was a chick magnet until they saw what was driving it. Oh, the guy inside. We don't. We're not interested.

[Byron]

Like, that's it. No more flannel.

[John Holmberg]

It was the ugly. Did you ever see that? He had it when we first started here.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And I couldn't figure out whose car it was.

[John Holmberg]

We didn't have any lesbians. You did.

[Brett Vesely]

You did at the very beginning when.

[John Holmberg]

You guys first started there. Hold into that.

[Brett Vesely]

And then I think the avalanche was.

[John Holmberg]

After that ugly ass forest green outback with the gold package. I don't know what you were thinking. And then he went, hey, we all make mistakes. We all make mistakes. I'll give you that. And then he stuck those. It was dark black. It wasn't black. It was dark black. Inside. It was the most opaque. And then he put the grossest seat covers on there. They were fuzzy and they stunk.

[Byron]

Or cheap. Oh my gosh.

[John Holmberg]

Everything you did in that car was bad. I wish you still had it. And it did sit in your driveway for a while. When you got a new car, you were shamed out of it. But you hung on to that for a little. You did.

[Byron]

No, I. I thought you did.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't Torp have it? No, he didn't drive that around for a little bit while he was out?

[Byron]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I remember that thing sticking around for a while. It felt like you had it for years because it was just an anchor on your life as a man. I don't know who talked you into that. Salesman of the year, by the way.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you imagine those guys elbowing each other?

[John Holmberg]

I'll bet you 100 bucks I could.

[Brett Vesely]

Sell it to that guy.

[John Holmberg]

You're on. I can see them in the tower with their binoculars. Steven, come here. There's a man in the parking lot at the Subaru dealership. Let's go get him. No, that's not a man. There's no way that's. That's a lesbian on chemotherapy.

[Byron]

Thousand bucks.

[John Holmberg]

She's going through.

[Byron]

Sells it to a man.

[John Holmberg]

She's going through treatment. All right, boys, now it's our chance. We're gonna blow the big horn. If anybody sells one of these bad boys to a man. Are you sure? It's built a little like a woman. I think that's Rosie o' donnell without her wig. I'm just searching around for a brand new wagon. It's a trap. There's no way this is real.

[Byron]

I'll tell you how it worked. We'll buy this advertising schedule from them.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that right?

[Byron]

Buy the Subaru that we choose.

[John Holmberg]

You wait in order to sell them something for us like this?

[Byron]

No, I didn' I was calling on them for advertising.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, and did they buy at least?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

That didn't counter the amount of money you spent.

[Byron]

Come on down to Petri Subaru.

[John Holmberg]

There's a guy out there. We got to sell him that car. It's a trap. I think we're being tested. I'm gonna sell them.

[Brett Vesely]

That was right.

[Byron]

There's a bonus. There's a bounty.

[John Holmberg]

Had to be. Absolutely had to be. Still don't think it paid enough.

[Byron]

I got a sweet deal on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had to be. There had to be that moment where they're today, gentlemen, we sell an outback to a man. I know. Calm down. Calm down. It sounds impossible. We've climbed Everest, done all sorts of stuff we can sell to a man. And there's one in our parking lot right now, and he's not lost or doing any sort of maintenance. Now get out there and try to sell that man in Outback and I'll give you $10,000 and the job as general sales manager. Because you, sir, are the best salesman.

[Brady Bogan]

Al, I'll take it.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. That was easy. What a dolt.

[Byron]

Don, go out there Talk to that guy with the beanie with a pillar on it.

[John Holmberg]

I have one job to do today. Sell this Japanese car to this weird little man who's not aware that it's only for lesbians. I play tennis like Martina Navratilova. Dear God. That's our spokeswoman. He does want an Outback. This isn't fake at all times. Did they just poke at you? Why do you guys keep doing that? Just want to see if you're real. Is this a dream? Will you pinch me, sir?

[Brady Bogan]

Sure. I pinched a man.

[Byron]

That WRX with the fin on it looks kind of cool. Now let's take a look at wagons.

[John Holmberg]

I pinched a man, and I like that. Pinch me again. Are you crying? It's the greatest day of my life. Mr. Brady Bogan, you don't know how happy you've made me and my family. I'm gonna go home and say that I'm the only man in the Subaru company that's done the impossible. You sell a forest green Outback with a gold package to a man.

[Brett Vesely]

Guy's probably CEO of Subaru now.

[John Holmberg]

He probably had to change his name to Mr. Subaru. Probably had a guy go, oh, you're no Kigatsuru. Step aside, Mr. Subaru. The whole place belongs to Mina.

[Byron]

Yeah, the trophy's like the size of a Supercross win, about 4ft high.

[John Holmberg]

Did he at any point go. You know that Subaru makes plenty of different models for. For all sorts of people. Not just the Outback for lesbians.

[Brady Bogan]

I want the Outback.

[John Holmberg]

This is insanity. Pure insanity. Chaos. Why do you keep looking up? Keep waiting for dogs and cats to fall out of this guy? I'm gonna be taken away today. This dream can't be real.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll take it.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll pay full price. Why don't you throw in some black sheepskin covers, too? Jesus Christ. He's more lesbian than a lesbian. Give me one of those air freshers that makes that fish smell go away. Oh.

[Byron]

Car'S still running.

[John Holmberg]

We have salmon and we have trout. Oh, salmon. Is it smoked? Whatever you want.

[Byron]

The lady that owns it now has 900,000 miles on it running like a tom.

[John Holmberg]

She's moved into 16 different homes with other lesbians. They move in together anyway. I don't know how we got up on that, but my God, I did.

[Byron]

Get a wind chime for the purchase.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have a wind chime? Here's your wind chime in your free U haul rental. Are you gonna need that? Who wouldn't?

[Commercial Announcer]

This is great.

[Brady Bogan]

Stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Brett Vesely]

Subaru. Were you really looking for an Outback at the time or just.

[Byron]

Oh, no, I was not.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Byron]

But then, you know.

[John Holmberg]

But he was unaware of it. He did no research, surprisingly.

[Byron]

Maybe I should get one of these.

[John Holmberg]

As when he showed up to work. My friend Jim Wilson, who's Asian, wasn't even a fan of him buying a Subaru at the Outback. The Subaru is a fine car, and they're a good car. The Outback's a good car. Yeah. But it does have a reputation.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, if you had a WRX or something, I get that.

[John Holmberg]

Great. Great. You know, but yeah, Brady would have pulled it. We'd have been looking at that, not thinking it was a joke. It was more so the. The hunter green gold package that was on it were like. This is. The things he was bragging about were like, stuff in the 50s. Got an eight tracks, got a weather channel. Two moon roofs. Like.

[Byron]

What Weather channel. Listen. This hot today.

[John Holmberg]

Weather channel. Remember sitting in the car with you. We went to lunch once, and you turned the weather channel on. 108 degrees. Clear skies tomorrow. 108 degrees, clear skies.

[Byron]

Like. It's like the guys on the mountain.

[John Holmberg]

Need this, and it was never clear.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That was it. Brett just pulled up a picture.

[Byron]

There it is. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

With the gold package, too.

[Byron]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

That was awful, Brady. I don't.

[Byron]

The only thing different was yours.

[John Holmberg]

Look. That yours?

[Byron]

I don't think I had the gold.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have the bottom edge.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have gold. I'll give you that. You didn't have the gold rooms. I think they were black.

[Byron]

Yeah, but that's the gem. That's the cream puff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'll never forget that day. That was one of my favorites. It was so clear to me, Brady, that day of how silly you looked getting out of that car. That I remembered. My Quiznos sandwich was in my hand.

[Byron]

The taste. I remember what I ate on the next bite.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't order tuna fish.

[John Holmberg]

Some people remember when.

[Brett Vesely]

Right here.

[Byron]

The one probably.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone remembers where they were when Kennedy got shot. I remember exactly what I was doing and where I was when Brady pulled in. In that thing.

[Byron]

Yeah. So that would be. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

2001.

[John Holmberg]

2000. Yeah. It had to be. It had to be 99 or 2000 because we're still at the zone. That's it, Brett.

[Byron]

That's piece of heaven right there.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a four banger in it. 121 horsepower. You know why I see limited?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's gotta go. Slow, so people get a good look at it.

[Byron]

Gosh. I'm kidding.

[John Holmberg]

It's for sale if you want to pick it up. You know what? For your birthday this year, I'm gonna get you one of these. Oh, there's the moonroof. No, no, I should have got two moonroof.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's. I think it's got two.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[Byron]

Yeah, there's a second one back there.

[John Holmberg]

At a second moonroof for our second moon. Ah. And your parents wondered why you couldn't find a lady there in the early 2000s.

[Byron]

Had a lady in the suit.

[John Holmberg]

I know you did. She was confused, head out of the second moon room. You banged her in the Subaru and she was bouncing out of the roof. It. She's got a story too.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I banged a man lesbian in the back of his Subaru. How much? Eight grand. Eight thousand American.

[Byron]

How many miles on that creek? Oh, that's got the 26,000.

[John Holmberg]

Low miles.

[Byron]

Wow, that is very low.

[John Holmberg]

I might buy that eight grand you're making. We should buy that for Kirby. This is what your daddy used to drive, and you're gonna be just like him someday. I don't want that for me. It's ugly. Ugly? You're talking about the sweetest ride ever. It's a. It's a different for sale for him anyway. I don't know how we got off on Brady's outback, but that was a pretty good one. Merry effing holidays from the big red radio.

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

It's the last of H's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi, my name is Hug.

[John Holmberg]

My name is. What?

[Brady Bogan]

Look, it's J. J, J Jesus. Hi, my name is what? I'm really hungry. I want some baba baba bacon. Hey, my name is chicky chicky chicky chicky Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Well this guy wrote lyrics. It's the remix. I'm not even gonna try to rap it. But it's a brain.

[Commercial Announcer]

Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi kids. Do you like prime rib? Do you want to see me stick a nine inch roll under each one of my eyelids? Hey, do you want to follow me and eat everything that I did? Drink cheese, get covered and smothered just like my life is. John thinks I'm dead weight. I'm trying to get my job straight but I can't figure out which buttons I should operate your answer. Hey Brady, you're a fathead. Nuh. That's why your face is red. The ketchup's wasted. Well since age 12 I've hung my mouth cause my parents left the original self with a Santa and the Elves got pissed off. Ripped Brennaman's press pass off. Snuck into Bob, called John to make him cross. I ate a pound of Spam and ran to the can faster than a rant from a guy from Boudoran. Yum. Let's munch. Hey, Brady. Wait a minute. That's my lunch, you hog. I don't give a damn. God sent me here to piss the world off. Hi, my name is. Who? Chicky chicky chick. Cheeky Jiggy Jesus. Hi there. My name is. Huh? My name is what? I'm the Sislim Savior. Hi, my name is. My name is what? I'm really hungry. Let's eat bacon. Hi, my name is Brady. I'm kinda chubby. I'm gonna eat Haagen Dazs. My friends and preacher want me to stop eating pie. Thanks a lot, guys. Without sweets, you know I'm gonna die. I stashed one in the men's room of the station. Chased it with some pastries. Wiped my face off with all the toilet papers. Went to a health club and tried to get a back rub. I got smacked by the trainer and chased out of the hot tub. Extraterrestrial 1 with Tom Brennaman. My dates keep telling me, let's just be friends. 99% of my life I've been lied to. My mom eats more foods than I do. Damn. I told her I grow up to be tall, thin and dapper. Instead, I'm short and fat and always in the crapper. You know I've been blown off when the seam inside your pants ruptures when you stand.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady Bogan]

Like holding over. The guy at Philiberto has asked for my autograph, so I signed it. Dear Jesus, where the hell am I? Kansas. Hi, my name is. My name is chicka chicky chicka chicka Jesus. My name is.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady Bogan]

My name is what? I'm the Slim Slim Savior. Hi, my name's Brady. Last name's Bogan. Hey, anybody got a hoagie? My name's Brady. Last name's Bogan. I love Cheeky Jiggy Jesus. Hey, yo, stop the tape. My fridge needs to be locked away. Hey, Danny Craig, don't just stand and reduce my weight. I'm always ready to eat. It's too scary to diet. I'll have to be carried inside the fat camp and buried alive. Are my arteries hardening? I can barely decide. I just drank a fifth of butter. Dare me to dry. My sex life is very deprived. I ain't had a woman in years. So A hot Pocket will do just fine. Close that. For my incredible bulk, I spit food when I talk. I eat anything that that's pork. When I was little, I used to get hungry, so I'd throw fits. When we gonna eat again, mom? It's been 10 minutes. I lay awake alone in my bed. I just turn the light on. I think it's Jesus. Cause I'm dead. I'm a bumbling spaz. And by the way, if John gets mad, tell him me and Jesus went away with creepy in a van. Hey, chicky, chicky, chicky, chicky Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think you get the idea. That's brilliant, though. Well done. It's out of control.

[Commercial Announcer]

Now.

[John Holmberg]

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