Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Dec 30, 2025: Detailed Summary

Episode Overview

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show, Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, features John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo humorously navigating bizarre stories, listener emails, and social commentary. This episode dives deep into shocking real-life family revelations—like couples learning they’re related—wild animal antics, and family dysfunction during the holidays, laced with irreverent wit and plenty of crude asides.

Main Topics & Key Segments

1. Inadvertent Incest: The Cousin Couple Story

[01:37–08:59]

• Primary Story: A Utah couple discovers after 12 years of marriage (and a child on the way) that they’re first cousins on one side, third on another, all thanks to a baby names search through their family tree.
  • Notable Details:
    • “She never had publicly revealed this information. They found out before they had the baby and didn’t tell any family after the baby came out.” (Holmberg, 04:29)
    • Attempted damage control: Let people fall in love with the baby before revealing family origins—but the couple chooses to keep it secret.
• Hosts’ Reactions:
  • Mocking the idea of continuing the relationship past such a revelation; debating the psychological impact and moral implications.
  • Delving into hypotheticals: “Would you keep going if you found out mid-marriage that you were cousins?”
  • Holmberg’s Take: "I couldn't get hard and know that it's my cousin. You did it before? Yeah, that's before I knew." (Holmberg, 08:16)
• Sidebar:
  • The hosts riff about the “wiener as the guide” for men’s decisions: “Let your wiener be your guide is why most guys end up having sex with their cousins. It’s a bad time to let your wiener be your guide.” (12:50)

2. Porn Tropes and the Taboo of Step Relationships

[19:03–21:20]

• Discussing the popularity of faux-incest porn, especially the “step-sibling” motif and all its lazy scenarios.
  • Mock scripts: “What are you doing?” while playing video games, leading to inappropriate encounters.
  • Hypothetical kicker: “You know what isn’t sexy ever? ...‘I did our family tree. We’re cousins for real’...and then you’d want that to end right there.” (Holmberg, 20:33)
• Their consensus: If you discover real familial ties, game over.

3. Family Dysfunction & Holiday Gatherings

[40:41–52:44]

• Holiday Survival Guide:
  • Holmberg’s “Rule”: If you or your kids have past addiction or jail issues, don’t initiate holiday plans; wait to be invited. Avoid making others feel guilty.
  • Riff on “crackies” and holiday stress, describing how families orchestrate avoidance strategies for problematic relatives.
  • Anecdotes about Thanksgiving drama, food leftovers, and the bickering that follows.
  • “If you want to go and you’re inviting yourself, recognize you’re a self-inviter. You’re the worst person on the planet.” (Holmberg, 48:44)

4. Oddball Animal Stories, ‘Peanut the Squirrel’ & Animal Rescue Ethics

[88:12–117:15]

• Case of Peanut the Squirrel:
  • OnlyFans couple keeps a squirrel (“Peanut”) as a pet; neighbors report them, authorities raid, and euthanize both Peanut and a pet raccoon (“Fred”).
  • Extended debate about whether wild animals should ever be “rescued” and kept as pets.
  • Holmberg’s stance: "If the squirrel wasn’t an Instagram sensation and just in your neighbor’s house... you’d call too. Officials have to come by and take the squirrel. It’s a rat with a tail." (Holmberg, 89:19)
  • Brady’s background with wild pets (raccoons, snakes, squirrels) leads to banter about animal domestication vs wildness, personal responsibility, and legality.
  • Audience engagement: Listeners share wild stories (mountain lion cub rescues, etc.), and Holmberg reads hilarious, sometimes incredulous texts.
  • Memorable moment:
    • Brady takes a black maid, Olive, as “show and tell” to school, bringing along an ostrich egg, leading to one of the show’s most surreal, cringe, and side-splitting segments. (129:02–131:44)
    • Immediate listener bewilderment, with Doug summarizing: “Did Brady rescue a black woman from the wild and take her to show and tell?” (134:05).

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On learning you’re married to your cousin:

  • “12 years we’ve been banging…Well, I mean, you know, put a stop to it at that point. ‘Cause now you’re freezing.” (Holmberg, 07:06)

• On the right response to family scandals:

  • “You do damage control internally and say, all right, folks, nobody needs to know this. This is our family’s little secret.” (Holmberg, 14:38)

• On wild pet rescue:

  • “You can't just go out in the park and go, look what I found, and take it home. There has to be boundaries.” (Holmberg, 114:11)
  • “Put a cowboy hat on a dog—they love it. They need us. Squirrels are fine without us.” (Holmberg, 126:43)

• On family holidays:

  • “If you or your kids are recovering crackies, you don’t get to plan Thanksgiving.” (Holmberg, 41:37)
  • “There’s a reason your lot in life is loneliness.” (Holmberg, 49:44)

• On the peak of childhood fame:

  • “It would be tough to peak as an infant, but you know, even JonBenet had a few years where she climbed. Was that too soon?” (Holmberg, 147:52)

Recurring Bits and Running Jokes

• “Let your wiener be your guide”: Used repeatedly as sardonic advice for why men get themselves into compromising—as well as incestuous—situations.
• Brady’s wildlife home zoo: Multiple stories from Brady’s youth involving wild raccoons, squirrels, snakes, even a black widow and (unwittingly) taking a black maid to school for "show and tell."
• Listener texts: The show thrives on real-time audience participation, with texts prompting further wild stories or adding punchlines (“If they're old enough to crawl, at least they're in the right position.” - [37:35])
• Absurd animal analogies: Comparing domestication of dogs to having pet squirrels/raccoons at home, and the line between rescue and recklessness.

Noteworthy Lighter Segments

• Brady’s mangling of pronunciation:
  • Prolonged, ridiculous debate over how he says “shrapnel” vs “shrapnel” [55:10–57:36].
• Entertaining Miscellany:
  • Across the show: Riffs on porn scripts, McDonald's Double Big Mac announcement, debate about county names, Dixie car horns, and more.
• Entertainment Drill:
  • Quick pop-culture run—Anne Rice’s change of heart about Tom Cruise as Lestat, Stephen King hating the Shining, Vin Diesel walking Paul Walker’s daughter down the aisle (141:44–142:23).

Final Thoughts & Tone

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is always irreverent, boundary-pushing, and loaded with dark, off-the-wall humor. This episode was no exception: From incest scandals to wild animal rescues and cringe family customs, the hosts combine locker room laughs with candid opinions, never shying from the politically incorrect. Their banter—punctuated with audience texts and quick-witted responses—makes even uncomfortable topics a comedic ride.

For listeners: If you like your mornings dunked in scathing sarcasm and unfiltered takes, this episode is a stitch—provided you don’t mind an off-color story or ten about family, sex, and woodland critters.

Sample Timeline of Notable Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Quote | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------| | 01:37–08:59 | Cousin-couple baby name saga | | 12:50 | “Let your wiener be your guide…” riff | | 19:03–21:20 | Porn tropes & step-sibling jokes | | 40:41–52:44 | Family holiday dysfunction, 'crackie' relatives | | 88:12–117:15| Peanut the Squirrel debate, animal rescue tales | | 129:02–131:44| Brady brings “Olive the Black Maid” to show-and-tell| | 141:44–142:23| Vin Diesel, Paul Walker’s daughter, pop culture |

“Always wash with soap and water after a poo, one boner per room, and if you can see her at a family reunion, she’s probably not worth hooking up with.”

—John Holmberg’s new “rules to live by” (34:46)