12-31-25 - Brady's Idea Of A Rehabilitation Teaching Program For Disgraced Teachers Like Brittany Zamora - BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – "Brady's Idea Of A Rehabilitation Teaching Program For Disgraced Teachers Like Brittany Zamora"

Date: December 31, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, Byron
Podcast: 98KUPD – Arizona

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Overview

This episode centers on the controversial topic of Arizona's teacher shortage, teacher burnout, and—most provocatively—Brady's tongue-in-cheek proposal for a "rehabilitation teaching program" for disgraced teachers, particularly those involved in inappropriate relationships with students like Brittany Zamora. The show explores the absurdities and frustrations surrounding the teaching profession, pokes fun at past scandals and news stories, and debates the idea of second chances for disgraced teachers—with an over-the-top consequence for repeat offenders.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

The State of Teaching in Arizona

• Teacher Shortages and Burnout
  • John laments teachers who complain about pay and working conditions:
    • "You take a job. Nobody put a gun to your head... That's why they call it work. They don't call it fun." (01:08)
  • References a recent report indicating 51-54% of teachers are considering quitting and 80% feel burned out due to inadequate pay.
  • Reflects a lack of sympathy for teachers who "knew what they were getting into."
  • Many stay only because "the perception they're making a difference is the only reason they're staying," a notion John quickly undermines:
    • "Let me tell you this, you're not. You're not that important." (02:53)
  • Anecdotes about former teachers who left the profession and now claim to be happier and more successful.

The Brittany Zamora Scandal & Second-Chance Proposal

• The Brittany Zamora Reference
  • Brittany Zamora, a former Arizona middle school teacher convicted for sexual misconduct with a student, is used as the focal point for an unorthodox solution to the teacher crisis.
  • John facetiously suggests bringing back teachers like Zamora—with intense monitoring:
    • "I'd keep her away from the sixth graders... put her right around, like, junior high." (05:22)
    • "We should have all the teachers that have been in trouble for banging the kids, put them back in the classes and just go, don't do it. It's execution if you get it the second time." (06:40)
• Comic Tone & Outrageous Hypotheticals
  • The group riffs about making a TV series out of such a program—referencing "Hard Knocking Boots" as a parody title. (07:18)
  • Jokingly, they float the idea of letting disgraced teachers escape teaching by starting "OnlyFans" pages—with Brett quipping he'd "sign up for a month just to check it out" (19:22), and John speculating about the outcomes.
  • John repeatedly makes clear the consequence for reoffending would be the electric chair:
    • "You get the death penalty." (06:40)
    • "If they do it again, straight to the electric chair." (17:04)
    • "If you do it again, it's the electric chair." (20:12)
• Expansion to Other Professions/Crimes
  • The absurd proposal is broadened to include other offenders and even disgraced priests, with the same "one free pass, next time: death penalty" logic:
    • "Father Dale, you're back in... one more eyeball that we don't like, you're going to the chair." (21:35)
    • "You do it again, you even start leaning..." (21:54)
  • Brett jokes about giving the same opportunity to celebrities like P. Diddy and R. Kelly (26:03, 26:29).

Reflections on Teacher/Student Relationships in History

• The hosts reminisce about their own school days, recalling rumors and incidents involving young, attractive teachers and inappropriate relationships:
  • Coach Morgan, a popular and physically attractive PE teacher, "looked like the ultimate warrior" (10:09) and was suspected of "dabbling in the teen market."
  • Stories of college and high school students dating teachers were viewed as more common in the past and met with less outrage.
  • "It happens more than we do." (12:43)

Satirical Solutions for Reform and Monitoring

• Discussion about using surveillance (cameras in classrooms), harsh punishments, and even decoy "bait" teachers to prevent recidivism.
  • "We load the school with hired 30 year old Asian girls who look young... she gets to come over here and live for free if she's just bait in a classroom for a teacher that likes kids." (29:33)
• Ideas for deterrence include medieval punishments:
  • "Get in a bag with a muskrat and a wild dog, a whole bunch of snakes and a chicken." (27:08)
• They joke about making the consequences of transgression so draconian that "no one would reoffend."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On teacher complaints:

  • John: "You can't pay your college loans with a kid's difference. I made a difference in his life. Oh, that check don't cash." (04:32)

• On teacher attractiveness:

  • John: "If you have a teacher that looked like Michelle Pfeiffer... I'd be in school every day. My attendance would be through the moon." (03:17)

• On second chances:

  • John: "We should have all of the teachers that have been in trouble for banging the kids, put them back in the classes and just go, don't do it. It's execution if you get it the second time." (06:40)
  • Brett: "You can get a month free by referring a friend." (20:30)

• Reflection on old scandals:

  • John: "That's the best. We saw him out there at that Circle K... three years after he had been kicked out for boning one of the kids." (13:15)
  • Brett: "Where are the coolers, Mr. Z? You don't have to call me that anymore." (13:15)

• On the OnlyFans alternative:

  • John: "You can make a difference in a kid's life, but your cans pay the bills. You don't care about the kids anymore." (08:48)

• On deterrence/medieval punishment:

  • Byron: "Get in the bag." (27:07)
  • John: "Get in a bag with a muskrat and a wild dog, a whole bunch of snakes and a chicken." (27:08)

• On teacher pay and monitoring:

  • John: "Cleared out some of the prison population, cut the teacher's pay in half. Still getting the same teachers. Win, win." (28:32)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Teacher Quit Rates & Burnout: 01:08–05:17
• The Brittany Zamora Second-Chance Debate: 05:17–10:00
• Old School Teacher/Student Anecdotes: 10:00–14:46
• Extended Satire on Rehabilitation Program: 17:04–29:59

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Tone & Style

The episode—true to the "Morning Sickness" brand—mixes caustic humor, sharp social commentary, and playful absurdity. The hosts lean into gallows humor and improvisational riffs, remaining irreverent throughout—even as they touch on sensitive and controversial subjects. Their language is direct, edgy, and intentionally provocative—meant to entertain, "disturb," and spark conversation among a morning drive-time audience.

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Key Takeaways

• The hosts are critical of the teaching profession’s challenges, unsympathetic to complaints about pay and working conditions, and lampoon the ideal of "making a difference" as sufficient justification for low compensation.
• Through darkly comic hypotheticals, they propose giving disgraced teachers like Zamora a second shot—under draconian consequences—to address the teacher shortage, all while lampooning the concept’s moral and practical hazards.
• The conversation is laced with references to current events, personal histories, and pop culture, always landing back on exaggerated and impossible "solutions" that highlight the cynicism and absurdity of real-world education problems.

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This episode is not a serious policy discussion, but a provocative, no-holds-barred radio satire on the woes of the education system, the foibles of human nature, and Americans' thirst for second chances (and retribution)—all seen through the lens of locker-room humor. If you’ve never listened, expect outrageous ideas delivered with sharp wit and a willingness to cross lines in the name of entertainment.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. Yeah, you take a job. Nobody put a gun to your head to take a job. And then you complain about how hard the job is. That's called work. That's why they call it work. They don't call it fun. That's what I've been bitching about with those teachers for the last 10 years. I'm like, quit complaining. You knew exactly how much your cruddy job paid. And if you don't like it, quit. And you know what I'm proud to say. Yesterday a report came out. Over half. You're listening. You're listening to me. Over half of Arizona teachers considering quitting. You're welcome. I feel like the. I feel like you're your union shop leader. Brett's girlfriend, Katie Hobbs, did a task force and found over 51% of current teachers are considering leaving the profession. They said it was actually 54 of K through 12 and high school was 51. Said, what are you? Are you. You know that thing where they say not likely, likely, somewhat likely. Very likely they all clicked on somewhat or very likely over the next two years to not be there anymore. 70%.

[Byron]

But did they have the. What was the re. They.

[John Holmberg]

They hate it. You don't get paid and it's a miserable job.

[Brett Vesely]

A bunch of little corsets.

[John Holmberg]

It's your job. The whole reason you have a job. And if you're not getting paid and you're dealing with little pricks all day like Brett says, 70% said that in the last year it has crossed their mind to quit on a day or I'm just out. And the majority of current teachers, 92% said the perception that they're making a difference in students lives is the only reason they're staying. But let me tell you this, you're not. That you're not that important. Of all the teachers, maybe one making a difference in every school there's a couple, usually one per school that everybody's kind of like he was all the rest.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, there's only one or two. Edward James almost from Stand By Me.

[John Holmberg]

That's why they make movies about those. They're very rare. And Stand By Me, the Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh yeah, yeah. I tell you this. If you have a teacher that looked like Michelle Pfeiffer when she did that.

[Brett Vesely]

Movie, I wouldn't ditch.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be in school every day. My attendance would be through the moon peak. Michelle Pfeiffer sitting there trying to teach me. I'm learning, I'm learning. That's what we need. You know what we need to do? Let's get these actresses that are complaining about how hard it is to be hot tournament to teachers. The attendance rate goes through the roof and you know, teachers start, you know, realizing that and you're going to get paid more when you look good too. 80% of the teachers say they feel burned out. Inadequate pay. 80% say that's the biggest reason. 80%. And I've been telling you guys to quit that job for the longest time. Hold them hostage. You have all the leverage. You keep saying stupid stuff like I'm making a difference in that child's life so my misery doesn't. You're making yourself miserable to make a difference in a kid's life. Don't, don't. You can make a difference and still get, you know, a decent, you know, you can make a difference in a Mexican child's life and work at Home Depot and get paid the exact same amount. I get emails. It used to be more end of the year, usually over the summer. I got a couple, but probably 10 or 12 this year. Of saying I was listening to you talk about that. I quit my job as a teacher and now I'm doing this. Started my own company. This one guy's doing a gelato thing. He moved to. I don't know where, Kentucky or something. Started a gelato thing with my dad. We're making a ton of money. I'm like, good for you. But again, that's why I never had any sympathy for the public school teacher. When they said, we don't get paid enough, I'm like, oh, did they take away pay when you were in college? Did you. Were they promising you, like, $200,000 a year in college, and then when you got there, they gave you 30? No. So you knew you were going to make 30? Yeah. You spent 200 grand in college to make $30,000 a year. You're an idiot. That's all that is. That's just dumb. You know, you can't pay your college loans with a kid's difference. I made a difference in his life. Oh, that check don't cash. We need some money on that survey.

[Brett Vesely]

Brittany Zamora said she's likely to come back eventually.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? If I was a principal of a school, I'd give her a second chance. I'm all about second chances for people like Brittany. I would. I'd keep her away from the sixth graders. I put her right around, like, junior high. She didn't. Those old boys, she can't have the elementary school kids. She gets too turned on.

[Byron]

It's a pretty good gig. We've talked about this before. As far as the time spent, sure.

[John Holmberg]

You get some time off.

[Byron]

Eight to 10 weeks, maybe, in the summer. And then on top of all the.

[John Holmberg]

Other holidays, I'll stand up for them here. They deserve all that time off dealing with your prick kids. And I don't think they get enough time off. It's a nice schedule until you actually have to stand in one of those classrooms. You know who's not gonna do it again is Brittany Zamora. Have you let her out to teach again? She's not doing it again.

[Brett Vesely]

She's probably only fans.

[John Holmberg]

Only fans. She's probably the safest teacher you could have in the room right now. She knows not to get too attached.

[Byron]

I don't think she has that decision. I want to go back to teaching.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know. I'm saying, though, we should probably be lenient about it and let her teach again. She's like, she ain't gonna get hit by lightning twice. She's not banging another 6 year old or whatever 6th grade kid you watch. No, we. And plus we'd have our eyes on her. We should take.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, we would.

[John Holmberg]

We should. Oh yeah, we would. We should have all of the teachers that have been in trouble for banging the kids, put them back in the classes and just go, don't, don't do it. It's execution. If you get it the second time, that would be a great idea. We free up some of the prison space. We let all the teachers that have dabbled with dating students back in the classroom and like do it again. You get the death penalty. Okay, Don't. Okay. I'm telling you right now, I'm not.

[Byron]

Good television series.

[John Holmberg]

And then we put up cameras and we start filming them and the sweats. Timmy, would you like to go up to the chalkboard and do that equation?

[Byron]

This week on Hard Knocking Boots.

[John Holmberg]

Just sit down. We're gonna talk about the Civil War. God, you guys are hot. And the guy pokes his head and goes, don't, we're watching you. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. But it would be entertaining. The kids would be like, he can't do anything. They wouldn't touch him again. The odds of that happening twice are zero. Brittany Zamora's not going back in that classroom. Like, aren't you the one that tried to. Yeah, I am. You're not doing that again, are you? I'm older now.

[Byron]

I've learned.

[John Holmberg]

I was dumb.

[Brett Vesely]

She's getting an only fans page.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you can have that. Damn right. And if I'm a teacher, maybe that's it.

[Byron]

Maybe it's like, oh, all we need to fix is you can have your only fans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We let them have a secondary thing, but most of them you don't want to see. Most of them are tubs of goo, you know, and they quit on life because their job sucks. They, they're not, they're Those, they're those 28 year old women that look like they're 54. They're, they're in constant. Like they're in Christmas sweater gear all year. Like their clothes look like ugly sweaters for Christmas without decorations.

[Byron]

Coffee breath.

[John Holmberg]

Coffee smitt hairs that I keep it short cuz it's more manageable. You're in your 20s, you're not supposed to do that yet. You have a perm. I know. Yeah. Anyway, you're not going to make an only fans page. The ones that have an only fans page that would actually take are quitting teaching. Why would you stand in a room With a bunch of pricks. If you can make, you can.

[Byron]

That's your charity work?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm ditching the rats. I got no only fans. You kids are done. You make a difference in a kid's life, but your cans pay the bills. You don't care about the kids anymore. Brady, you have a good idea putting all those Peder asses back in school like that? I think that's solid. Oh, yes, that's a good one. This one says they're so hard up for teachers, they're giving college credits to high school students that are going for teaching. My daughter's 18, had enough college credits to actually get a teaching job. A few of her friends did it and they all had. They all have quit. Yeah, teaching stinks.

[Byron]

Yeah, but you don't want to do that.

[John Holmberg]

You know, an 18 year old's annoying.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Being a high school teacher, Samora's a bad idea. Oh, my teacher's 19. We had a 24 year old fall for a 12 year old. That was national news.

[Byron]

19 we had tried to implement like 27 was the minimum.

[John Holmberg]

Tops. Yeah, 26, 27 tops. It makes me wonder though, Brett, because you and I went to Rhodes Junior High at the same time. There was a couple of young teachers and then a couple of those PE coaches. That I'm pretty sure. I'm not saying. I'm just saying Coach Morgan was an absolute Adonis. He looked like the ultimate warrior.

[Byron]

He had no business teaching, no inner staff.

[John Holmberg]

8Th and 9th grade girls. Inner staff. He was dabbling in the teen market. There was no reason for him to be in that school that much. He was a bouncer at cowboys. Oh, yeah.

[Byron]

I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. His fake orange tan squeezing into his little Fiero.

[John Holmberg]

He's stripping a little on the side, doing some dancing. A couple of those ninth grade girls I think might have. Back in the 80s, back when it was they made movies about this, we were kind of allowed to do it. I'm pretty sure we had a couple of incidents where teachers and students got together.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, with him?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I actually know of one. She was a college teacher though. And the guy I worked with was 18, she was 30 something. And he said, let's go over to this, my teacher's house. And we're like, what? At the end of a Tony Roman shift, let's go over to her house. She wants to go to a pool party. And so like seven of us went over, like, this isn't much of a party. It's just us. And she was trying to have like, she Was trying to get with him, and he was a freshman in college. She was older, but. And he wasn't, like, anything special. It was Yellow Hand, the guy that had to clean out all the tampon boxes. And he's like, I'm a mess. Like, she's offering grades and stuff. And I remember him telling me about it. She was like, all he had to do was sleep with her, and he'd get grades, and she could manipulate, and he didn't. Yeah, he did.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay, good.

[John Holmberg]

But then she started to worry about, like, getting fired, and it got really tense. But we were going over. She had a nice place. We were going over her house pretty much every Thursday and Friday after work to swim in her place. And she liked music. We liked. So. Yeah. But she was. It was awkward because you're like. You're the. You're a teacher at a community college.

[Byron]

Buddy in college. He dated a teacher in high school, when he was in high school, and it was okay. They. It was a smaller town.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

But they knew it was happening. He was the football star.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She was that beautiful girl we met back at the Hawaii Marathon. Her teacher was 51 years old, and she was 18. She had to wait to graduate. She was moving in with him, and nobody batted an eye. They thought it started the day after she graduated. Like, how long has this been going? She's going a little long. I've met girls who have said out loud. And it was actually at one of our beer parties, one of the girls came up and said something we were talking about. She goes, I had sex with my teacher when I was 16. We were gonna move in together. We broke up. And I'm like, wait a minute. What? She goes, yep. That was how I did high school. Sleeping with her teacher. It happens more than we do.

[Brett Vesely]

We did that at Rhodes.

[John Holmberg]

Well. And it's true. We did. Yeah. Old Z did it. Yeah, he did it. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

It was in the paper.

[John Holmberg]

I remember going, yes. We all hated that guy. He ended up owning one of the Stings and got caught and worked at a Circle K on Power Road.

[Byron]

That's a true story.

[John Holmberg]

That's a true story. So, yeah, we were around. Yes. And it wasn't that big a deal. They just. They just added it. You can't work here anymore.

[Byron]

Knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then on your way to the river. Yeah. We would stop by that Circle K and say hi to them.

[Brett Vesely]

Need ice or smokes? Yeah, no, I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm good. Where are the coolers, Mr. Z? You don't have to call me that anymore, you know. What's going on? Oh, yeah, Sorry. Circle K employee. Where are the coolers, douche? Oh, that's the best. We saw him out there at that Circle K. It was about three years after he had been kicked out for boning one of the kids. And it was voluntary. And to his credit, they were like, it wasn't. Molly, step aside. They were dating. But it was junior. Huh?

[Byron]

If you're gonna continue dating, you can't.

[John Holmberg]

Be a teacher, Right? If you want to keep dating, you have to make a choice. The 14 year old or your job. That's it. I'll see you guys later. You can't stop love. You'll see. It's a moving train.

[Brett Vesely]

But him, well, he was five. Coach Morgan, I could see, you know.

[John Holmberg]

But him, Coach Morgan didn't. Because the problem was Coach Morgan, he looked like Shannon. He didn't lock one down. He did. A little dude.

[Brett Vesely]

A little dude with long hair and a mustache.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he did. Coach Morgan didn't lock one down. He played the field. Mr. Z did. Or more no. Mr. Z got. He fell in love.

[Brett Vesely]

Mr. Z took whatever he could take.

[John Holmberg]

I was in eighth grade. He was my eighth grade teacher.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, mine too.

[John Holmberg]

I think it happened the year we got out. Yeah, because I was driving when I was 16. We'd go to the river all the time. He was out by then and we saw him at that Circle K. And then it just became a mandatory stop on the way to the river to go say hi to Mr. Z. Hey, Mr. Z. You working today? Heading to the river where all the teen girls are. Want to come along? Want to tag along? You're a swinger. You can make it happen. Merry effing holidays from the big Red radio.

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Well, hell, Tony Romas, all the waiters boned the hostesses. It was horrifying. They were all in their mid-20s. These hostess were like 15 and 16 years old. It was terrible what was going on there, especially for me because I was one of the 16 and 17 year old boys that was trying to get with these guys. I couldn't compete. These guys were killing it. Mr. Z. You know, I kind of want to go by that circle K again. I bet the area is all grown up. It used to sit all by itself. Itself? Yeah, it was like the last stop before you got to user.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's. It's all grown up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sure I haven't been out there in forever, but we went, oh, store manager. All right. I'm running this show. Oh, that was some of the most fun. Just all of us wandering in there. Hey, I got it. If it isn't the disgraced English teacher. How's Stephanie? You guys still seeing each other or. When does she get out of school? The coolers are over there.

[Brett Vesely]

She's a sophomore now. Two more years.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to marry her. Oh, I'm sure she's real excited about that, you know, you being a clerk and all, but. Yeah, you put him back in the school there. He's not going to do that again. So all these teachers, we should get all the. The disgraced ones and put them back and go. One more chance. We're giving you a second chance. You're going to get the karate, Peter. And they could never fire up about how little they get paid. Like, wait a second now, what are you talking about? How little you do your job. You get paid what we pay. You're lucky to be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they teach and they do their job. And if any of them screwed up again, straight to the electric chair.

[Byron]

I could just see them. How the kids know they can distract their teachers, whether they're a war veteran. Tell us the times that you were, you know, they're asking, hey, tell us.

[John Holmberg]

The time you were dating. One rule would have to be, the kids can't talk about the thing you're gonna never bring up. And all the teachers have the thing that no kids can talk about it. You can, you know, huddle up in the hallways and assume stuff. No kids can bring up to the teacher. This is the thing. You can't trigger them.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, like kids pay attention to that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's detention. You bring up the thing, it would be once or twice worth it. You get that detention and you know it's immediately trouble. Don't bring up the thing. This is not a bad plan because they always say jail's supposed to reform people.

[Byron]

A lot of teachers?

[John Holmberg]

No, better. There's an awful lot of them. There's a whole, you know, website dedicated to it. You know, Brittany Zamora, I don't think she's gonna do it again. And if she was a good teacher, going in, plop her back down in there. And one eye on. Just always have the, you know, the principal from Breakfast Club come by and do the little thing. Got my eyes on you. Keep an eye on her. She's not doing it twice. And if she does, I mean directly to the electric chair. Or only fans, but I mean only fans is just so over saturated with. I mean, Brittany Zamora is a hot 6th grade teacher. She's not a hot only fans girl.

[Brett Vesely]

No, but I think, I think after all the news stories and we've heard about her and talked about her, I'd sign up for a month just to check it out, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

For a month? Yeah. Curiosity.

[John Holmberg]

You get a month membership?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I get a month.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I want to see.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not saying I'm going past that, but I'll get that first.

[John Holmberg]

That little lady snooch for 30 days. What was that? Sixth grader any damage?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not signing up for a month.

[John Holmberg]

What if it's just butchered up? That sixth grader did a number on that prison. That's a Big Montana. Oh, I would tighten up there. It's just like nobody's punching the sixth graders.

[Brett Vesely]

Like the decorator.

[John Holmberg]

What if he just tattered it up like a Big Montana and left it for dead? And she puts that on onlyfans and like I got a 30 day membership. I don't want the second day.

[Brett Vesely]

They got trials on there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Can you do a free month?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Let me see. Like a drug deal. Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea, Brett. It's one or the other you get. You can get out of jail today. Either gotta dedicate your life to onlyfans or we're putting you back into the classroom. And if you do it again, it's the electric chair.

[Byron]

If you sign up, Brett, man, I.

[John Holmberg]

Should be governor or something. What's that?

[Byron]

You can get a month free by referring a friend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm in. Thanks, buddy. That's what a friend would do. And I'll refer hillbilly cousins. There you go.

[Byron]

I might as well sign up.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna end up paying for it. We'd like to continue our subscription, family, but this 30 day trial is over. That 1995 is really taking a bite out of our wallet. If anybody in the Bogan family, especially your country club types, would like to donate, we'd love to keep our masturbatory situation in check. Anyway, put her back in the classroom. I agree. This plan has legs. I'm not even seeing a downside. We should do it with everybody. You give everybody a second chance and put them right back where they were. And if they do it again, Electric chair. Okay. Nobody's gonna do it again, right? Father Dale, you're back in. One more eyeball that we don't like, you're going to the chair. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Giving them the dress again at St.

[John Holmberg]

Tim's I'd give him right back in there. That's the place that should be given second chances. If anything, the Catholic Church should be like, we get it. You're allowed back in. You do it again, you even start leaning.

[Byron]

If you did that, they were like, I'm sorry, We've got too many priests.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've got an awful lot of priests, but suddenly we have an influx of 1100 priests per major metropolitan. We're back. All right. All your victims are grown up now. He'd be like.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd be like booger and Revenge of the Nerds. I've been out Coleman High schools all day.

[John Holmberg]

That's what the Breakfast Club principal says. I find out, you bang one more kid, I'm coming in here and I'm knocking skulls. I got my eyes on you. You know, what the. What do you say? The bull in the horns thing or whatever it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, don't mess with the bull, son. You get the horns.

[John Holmberg]

It's a fact. This is a solid plan. I mean, other than violent crimes and stuff. I like this. Especially those girl teachers that fell for the. You know, the ones that really are kind of heroes to me, like, you.

[Brett Vesely]

Know, Mary Kay Letourneau or whatever her name was.

[John Holmberg]

The OG you know, the one we remember most. Because that relationship worked out until it didn't. But, you know, the 12. The ones that turn the 12 and 13 year old boys into heroes and then, you know, kind of mess them up a little bit. But we're all gonna get messed up by a chick eventually. You put them back in there and say, don't do it again. Are you going? I mean, we'd be. We'd be smoking so many. We'd have to do a couple right off the bat, like set them up a couple sting operations. And if they fall in, then we gotta do some live televised teacher cooking and put them right there in that electric chair. Jesus Christ. They're serious. All of them would straighten right the f up and we could pay them 27,000 a year and they'd never ever go, we're gonna march for more money. Well, you're lucky to be here.

[Brett Vesely]

They'd have a brazen bull at Penn rallies and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That would be the name of the mascot, the Dobson Brazen Bulls. Oh, no. Oh, they'd do it for half. Just be like, if you want to passionately teach, that's fine. 27 grand a year. It's like, that's your.

[Byron]

And I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you get out of jail. They would never complain about the fees.

[Brett Vesely]

Then they would need an only fans page.

[John Holmberg]

That guillotine hanging over them all the time would make them real good at their jobs and focus heavily on not screwing up again. John Holmberg's teaching Guillotine second chance program. I like it for non violent offenders. Put them right back out there, you get your teaching license back and let all these normal people that are thinking about quitting teaching because I've been telling them to for the longest time, you can finally go, what's the toughest part of your job?

[Byron]

I gotta say, having sex with adults.

[John Holmberg]

Finding the other adults attractive's really been rough. But I get killed if I do it my way. So, yeah, that's been hard. Real hard. So I've been celibate. I've been pretty celibate. The hardest part is I'm keeping my hands off. I was a beautiful little angel. That's been tough. But you know, I have to go to Old Sparky if I touch one wrong. So I just keep my. I just put my hands in oven mitts all day and kind of walk around it. It's a good plan. Second chance. And you know what? It's also empathetic. It feeds the beast of the people who are like, everybody needs a second chance. And I agree. I do think that you screw up, you should have a second chance chance.

[Byron]

But Kind of good. It's going to come around on that thing that. But you know, we've also thought. Ah, man, some of that stuff is not curable.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Byron]

I mean, like where being attracted to kids draw the line on something. Yeah, like the lower one.

[John Holmberg]

The line you draw. Brady, it was just one baby. Well, if it's baby, I should be smoked in the first place. I'm talking about teachers who maybe dabbled in dating. The consequences are death. Don't do it again or we'll kill you right on the spot. No trial, no nothing. Like you did it again.

[Brett Vesely]

Straight to execution.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And dry sponge Percy style. We're going in. We're gonna cook that thing. Brady's gonna put you in a pit in the backyard and have you for Thanksgiving. Yep. Solved yet. 24 years of solving the world's problems. Does anybody care? Nope. He's a good idea.

[Brett Vesely]

Can P. Diddy get out if he becomes a sex ed teacher?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? He's not gonna do it again if you let Pete do.

[Byron]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna clear you of everything. You have one more party. We're gonna Percy Greenmile cook your ass dry sponge. You heard me, Diddy. Your name is Sean. Now you're all done with the nonsense, we'll let you go. We're cooking you if you screw up.

[Brett Vesely]

Meanwhile, R. Kelly's going. Ain't that a. I'm stuck in here.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. Yeah. You know who's been real good about drugging people since he got out? Bill Cosby. Haven't heard of Peep. Hey can't find his pills. But still he ain't gonna do that again. That's a good idea. And I know there's a lot of second offenders and stuff, but it's because there's no consequences. For your second time death penalty if you go to jail twice for the same thing. Death penalty. I like that. First one's free.

[Byron]

Back in the day from yesterday's discussion in. In Rome. If you did something to your father or grandfather.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Byron]

Get in the bag.

[John Holmberg]

Get in a bag with a muskrat and a wild dog, a whole bunch of snakes and a chicken. I don't even know what the chicken is. It's dog food. Just to keep the dog alive longer. I like that. Some of that medieval punishment would just spin a wheel. You drew the wolf skin sack of dog, snake, chicken.

[Byron]

What does that mean?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you shouldn't have to touch that kid is what it means. You got to get in the bag with the dog. I gotta get in a bag with a wild dog and we're gonna sew it up, put you in water. Shouldn't have done it. We warned you. If the consequences are clear, they're not doing it. Man, this is a good idea. What. What does that say?

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's talking about like the. The women teachers out there. I don't know how you could spin it.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I'm like, he's doing the quote of how hard their job would be. And he's like, oh, I have to. From here on out, I just have to have a penis with a hair on it or around it. Oh, gross. Oh, they're so hairy, these adults. Well, the alternative is death. Try to talk your new boyfriend into shaving. Anyway, solve did another one. Cleared out some of the prison population, Cut the teacher's pay in half. Still getting the same teachers.

[Byron]

Win, win.

[John Holmberg]

I don't see a loss in any of this. Kid's head on a swivel. Now, the one problem we might have is that the kids might set up some teachers for dying. You know? You don't like that teacher like Mr. Craig. I would have definitely said he touched me if it had been a lifetime.

[Brett Vesely]

Chair Z, I would have done that for 100%.

[John Holmberg]

There's a couple of me that have been like, all right, kids, you have to have some concrete proof here, but we have cameras everywhere. At the end of the day, we get.

[Byron]

Might lose a few good teachers, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Well, we're gonna lose them no matter what. Toss the cell. At the end of the day, go through the cell phone. All right, let's take a look. Make sure you're not texting Billy or little Kenny.

[Byron]

You just have to maybe apply the same thing, kids, if you lie about it, death.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's fair. Electric chair. Electric chair. If we find out you're trying to set up this better ass for another one, you're going to the chair too. A lot of guillotines floating around this school of mine.

[Brett Vesely]

Peter says put the teachers in the classrooms or put them. Put them in classrooms full of Asians. All petite. Half are adults.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Freight trains. Ideas coming through. Okay, so, yes, we just.

[Byron]

We.

[John Holmberg]

We load the school with hired 30 year old Asian girls who look young. You can touch one of them. That's the one we put. We put a plant in here for. For you, and she gets citizenship. This is brilliant. She gets to come over here and live for free if she's just bait in a classroom for a teacher that likes kids.

[Byron]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

But she's 30, Brady. So it's okay. So here we go. Somebody had to bring politics into this. If Biden can bite random babies multiple times, Britney should be free and get her job back. That's right, because Biden sniffed baby head. It is a little creepy. Anyway, my Second Chance program has some juice. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.