12-31-25 - Entertainment Drill - MIX - Jessica Simpson's Edible Body Lotion Line - Ted Nugent Injured On His Reality Show - Jan/Feb 2004 - BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – “Entertainment Drill - MIX”

Air Date: December 31, 2025
Podcast: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD, Arizona)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness focuses on entertainment news and pop culture oddities, blending irreverent humor, sarcastic commentary, and rapid-fire banter. The hosts riff on everything from bizarre celebrity products (like Jessica Simpson’s edible body lotion) to Grammy Awards gossip, infamous fashion lists, and tales from the wild world of reality TV (including Ted Nugent's on-set injury). The tone is fast, comedic, and occasionally biting, with hosts poking fun at celebrities and each other.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Jessica Simpson’s Edible Body Products

• The hosts open with mockery and incredulity at Jessica Simpson’s new “kissable, lickable” beauty line marketed at couples.

• Products include: Whipped body cream, chocolate body gloss, powdered sugar shimmer, and a pheromone belly button fragrance.

• The team jokes about Simpson’s previous ‘virgin’ persona and her endorsement of products for married couples, questioning her expertise.

  “She was a virgin and bragged about it until her marriage, right? … And that’s why Nick asked her to marry him so fast. He had to get that.”
  — John Holmberg (01:34)

  “You could be covered in dog feces. You’d lick Jessica Simpson.”
  — John Holmberg (02:41)

2004 Grammy Awards Recap

• Beyonce wins five Grammys, tying with Alicia Keys, Norah Jones, and Lauryn Hill.

• Metallica wins Best Metal Performance.

• The group roasts a Beatles tribute performance, especially Dave Matthews’ “parody of himself” style.

  “He’s doing his…stupid Adam Sandler-sounding voice. It’s the same thing now. He’s a parody of himself.”
  — John Holmberg (03:29)

Adam Sandler’s Dog, Meatball

• The crew discusses the death of Adam Sandler’s bulldog, Meatball, at age four from a heart attack.

• Reflection on how his dogs have appeared in his movies and even his wedding.

  “Oh, no, not the dog.”
  — John Holmberg (03:53)

  “Meatball was four years old.”
  — Brady Bogan (04:06)

Paris Hilton’s “Wisdom”

• They read and ridicule Paris Hilton quotes, e.g., about diet sodas (“Diet Coke is for fat people”), jeans, and her desired baby names (London and China).

• The crew mocks the fact that Hilton reportedly gets a million dollars to pen these “insights.”

  “She gets close to a million dollars for writing these little sayings.”
  — Brady Bogan (06:04)

  “So, there’ll be Paris Hilton, the London Hilton, and the China Hilton.”
  — John Holmberg (06:19)

American Football Broadcast in China

• Discuss the novelty of the Super Bowl broadcast in China, co-commentated by an Eagles tight end who speaks Mandarin.

• Conversation about the literal Chinese translation for football — “American olive-shaped ball game” — and how rugby is just “olive-shaped ball game.”

• Satirical bit imitating what Super Bowl commentary might have sounded like for a Chinese audience.

  “Football is called Mesha Qin Ling Ki, which means American olive shaped ball game.”
  — Brady Bogan (07:24)

Mr. Blackwell’s Worst and Best Dressed List

• The hosts run through Blackwell’s annual fashion list, lampooning his continued relevance.

• Worst dressed highlights: Paris Hilton (#1), Laura Flynn Boyle (#10), Courtney Love, Melanie Griffith, Madonna & Britney Spears (tied).

• They bring in Broadway diva Carol Channing for a quick satire about her (and her long-unconsummated marriage).

  “Paris Hilton is number one. You’re Carol Channing. Haven’t you been dead since like ‘87?”
  — John Holmberg (11:09)

Diana Ross’ Ex-Husband Passes Away

• Brief coverage of the death of her ex-husband Ernie Nais in a mountain climbing accident, with comedic confusion among the hosts about the timeline and relevance.

  “I never understand his stories when they take these twists.”
  — John Holmberg (14:09)

Ted Nugent Injured on Reality Show

• Recap of Ted Nugent’s chainsaw leg injury during the taping of his VH1 series “Surviving Nugent.”

• The show’s premise: contestants endure wild-teacher Nugent’s hunting-themed challenges and his eccentric berating.

• Anecdote about a vegetarian contestant being forced to gut a deer, with the group marveling over the bizarre concept and casting.

  “He needed 40 stitches to close a gash in his leg, which he gave himself with a chainsaw while filming…”
  — Brady Bogan (14:50)

  “Ted’s galloping people.”
  — John Holmberg (15:51)

  “That’s not great. It’s illegal, in fact, in 47 states.”
  — John Holmberg (16:02)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Jessica Simpson’s Body Products:
  “If she’s not there, what good is it? … It’s not going to do you much good if it’s not on her.”
  — John Holmberg (02:05)

• On Paris Hilton’s Quotes:
  “They just have to be hot.”
  — Paris Hilton, as quoted by Brady Bogan (05:37)
  “Never drink Diet Coke. Diet Coke is for fat people.”
  — Paris Hilton, as quoted by Brady Bogan (05:19)

• Mocking Super Bowl in China:
  “Look at him throw that olive shape ball. Chat place bets. Now who will win, Patriot oooor Penta? Let’s battle!”
  — John Holmberg (08:10)

• On Ted Nugent’s Reality TV:
  “He hunted [contestants] pretty much. They had bales of hay to hide behind, and he’d smoke them out of there.”
  — Brady Bogan (15:53)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Jessica Simpson’s Edible Products: 01:20–02:35
• Grammy Awards & Beatles Tribute: 02:53–03:49
• Adam Sandler’s Dog Story: 03:51–04:53
• Paris Hilton Quotes: 04:57–06:42
• Super Bowl in China: 06:56–08:31
• Mr. Blackwell’s List/Carol Channing Satire: 10:44–13:26
• Diana Ross' Ex-Husband/Host Confusion: 13:26–14:44
• Ted Nugent’s Injury & Reality Show: 14:44–17:20

---

Final Notes

This episode is a showcase of rapid, comedic coverage on a variety of 2000s pop culture moments, with relentless sarcasm and off-kilter riffs. The banter is best appreciated by fans who enjoy irreverent humor and quick takes on celebrity mishaps and media oddities.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[C]

Get ready for the most wonderful time of the year. The exciting red tag savings has arrived at your Valley Chevy dealers. Wrap up a 2026 Chevy Equinox just in time for the holidays or conquer that holiday to do list in a brand new Chevy truck. Now is the time to get red tag savings on the powerful 2026 Silverado or the adventure ready, Colorado. This holiday season, it all comes together in a Chevrolet. Find your savings today at your Valley Chev Dealers Red tag sales event going on.

[A]

Now. The best of the morning sickness is on the air.

[C]

Do any of you people do any actual work?

[A]

The rest of homework's morning sickness.

[B]

It's time for another thrilling episode of Jessica Simpson, Mary Tramp. The once virginal Jessica is now going to shill away for edible body products.

[A]

Yeah, she was a virgin like and bragged about it until her marriage, Right? She wasn't gonna ever. And that's why Nick asked her to marry him so fast. He had to get that.

[B]

You may have heard Jessica was coming up with a quote, kissable lickable fragrance. It'll come in three flavors. Creamy, dreamy, and juicy. But the dessert line, which it'll be called, goes a little further than that. It also include whipped body cream, chocolate body gloss, powdered sugar body shimmer, and pheromone belly button fragrance.

[A]

Me likey. What good is it if she's not there? Yeah, I was just gonna say it's not gonna do you much good if it's not on her dessertbeauty.com. okay.

[B]

If you want to check it out.

[A]

She modeling the stuff?

[B]

I doubt it. Damn it. But of course, you know she's recommending this for married couples, of course, to keep the marry the marriage.

[A]

Because she's an expert now. Yeah, she's.

[B]

All of a sudden she's not an expert. But she has found that Nikki likes some of these things.

[A]

Nick Lachey likes to lick her. Imagine that. Nicky likes a licky. He could be covered in dog feces. You'd lick Jessica Simpson. Really? Nikki, you like that? I'll lick anything off you, baby. Like this. Oh, I love my Jessie.

[B]

Well, the 2004 Grammy Awards went down and congratulations. Beyonce Knowles.

[A]

Beyonce.

[B]

Beyonce got five awards which ties with Alicia Keys, Nora Jones and Lauryn Hill.

[A]

Yeah, they've. All the Grammys have never.

[B]

Congratulations to Metallica. They got Beth, best metal performance.

[A]

And how about the worst tribute to the Beatles of all time when they did the. The first thing I saw was Sting, Dave Matthews, someone I've never heard of, and Vince Gill. Yeah, and Dave Matthews was doing his typical.

[B]

He got one for grave.

[A]

He's doing his. Hey. Wrote a song about a monster truck. And he's got his. He's got him. Stupid Adam Sandler sounding voice. It's the same thing now. He's a parody of himself. Oh, Grave Digger, would you like some H2O?

[B]

Which brings us to bad news for Adam Sandler.

[A]

Good.

[B]

His bulldog, Meatball.

[A]

Oh, no, not the dog.

[B]

Died 4 years old. Had a heart attack. Had a heart attack after eight crazy nights.

[A]

Meatball, wake up. Oh, Meatball. That was a joke.

[B]

Meatball. Meatball was four years old.

[A]

Joke.

[B]

He was. Adam Sandler also had the father of Meatball in one of his other movies. Mr. Beefy was in Little Nicky. He was the ring bearer at Adam's wedding.

[A]

Oh, no. Did you say Little Nicky? And Larry's in the room.

[B]

Cause that's me. My dad's a devil and my little meatball dog is gone.

[C]

Mr.

[B]

Beef.

[A]

He went down with my dad to the devil land. Now he's not even sad all day long.

[B]

But Adam has another bulldog that's still.

[A]

He's in a better place now.

[B]

I'm just gonna see him down there with my dad.

[A]

Who's your dad?

[B]

The devil. Okay, Meatball's brother's still alive, which is. Was a wedding. His wife, Matzo Ball.

[A]

No, that's true.

[B]

Matzo ball was a wedding gift from Jackie. Okay, and now for some pearls of wisdom from Paris Hilton, the Jewish bulldog. These are famous quotes by Paris or not so famous. I will stay with Low Jeans until I have a kid. Then I'll have to have a kind of special low riding maternity jean to Wear gross. Never drink Diet Coke. Diet Coke is for fat people.

[A]

Ouch. As I crack open my diet Dr. Pepper. F you, Hilton.

[B]

Only cheese balls. Want to be trendy every single minute of the day.

[A]

Okay, Von Dutch.

[B]

Yeah. I don't have one type of guy. I've had so many types of boyfriends. I like all kinds of guys. They just have to be hot.

[A]

She's done a lot of guys. Done a lot of people. All different looking too.

[B]

I used to have fun and dress up and that was my life. But now I've grown up a lot. I'm still gonna be me. And I've decided to change my way the way I dress. She gets close to a million dollars for writing these little sayings.

[A]

What? What? For what?

[B]

She's getting close to a million dollars to write. This insanity also reveals that when she gets married, she wants to have a boy named London and a girl named China. And that she takes a shower before she takes a bath when she feels really dirty.

[A]

So there'll be the Paris Hilton, the London Hilton and the China Hilton.

[B]

And finally the.

[A]

What happened to you? Somebody get a wallet. He's having a seizure. Stick in his mouth.

[B]

You will after I say this. She said her hair is actually curly.

[A]

Wow, you're right. I'm about to pay a million dollars for this.

[B]

A lot of people. Congratulations to Ashton Kutcher.

[A]

He does a lot of people. The worst answer ever given.

[B]

I'll give you you and I pay. Jack, don't put this out and we'll.

[A]

Buy that stupid book.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. This is a pretty cool. Super bowl was broadcast in mainland China this year. The game was called by commentators Han Kuan Sheng and Chad Lewis really tied in to the Philadelphia Eagles. He speaks fluent Mandarin Chinese. In China, football is called Misha Quinlan Kee.

[A]

And all the other guy did was go, what happened, Chad? Because they don't know what football is in China.

[B]

Listen to the name Chad.

[A]

What was that? It's a pass.

[B]

Football is called Mesha Qin Ling ki, which means American olive shaped ball game, by the way. Rugby, which is a bit more popular in China, is called olive shape ball game.

[A]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

So they just a little bit smart.

[A]

In China is what you're saying.

[B]

Yeah. Chinese censors were offended by something they saw during the super bowl broadcast.

[A]

But it wasn't the booby.

[B]

It wasn't Janet Jackson's bejeweled white right nipple. It was the right to vote advertisement, which featured a video montage that included the world famous image of the Chinese protester standing in Front of the tank during the 1989 Tiananmen Square.

[A]

Chad. The white is shoot at. I don't know. Jin Chawa. Chad. Who that guy?

[B]

Major Quinlan Key.

[A]

Look at him throw that olive shape ball. Chat place bets. Now who will win? Patriot. Ooh or Penta? Let's battle. It's not actually a battle. Shun Chin Chai. What's going on, Chad? That's all he could have said. They've never seen football there.

[B]

Hurry. Must pressure.

[A]

Yes. And then they did launch. Their corals are very very wrinkle free, Chad. Yes, they are very wrinkle free. Very good starch. Very good. Merry effing holidays from the Big Red Radio 98 KUPD.

[C]

Get ready for the most wonderful of the year. The exciting red tag savings has arrived at your Valley Chevy dealers. Wrap up a 2026 Chevy Equinox just in time for the holidays or conquer that holiday to do list in a brand new Chevy truck. Now is the time to get red tag savings on the powerful 2026 Silverado or the adventure. Ready Colorado. This holiday season it all comes together in a Chevrolet. Find your savings today at your Valley Chevy dealer's. Red tag sales event going on now.

[A]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Very nice start. Yes. They have a guy on the team who does that. Chinese? No, but he should be.

[B]

They actually had Internet trivia questions and winners got rickshaw rides.

[A]

Oh, he landed on at the grass and make a nasty grass day. Now we get that right out. Just tons of them wanting to go clean him. He's so dirty. He's crows. Do he change at halftime Chat? No, he won't change it half time he wear that dirty shirt. Oh, this embarrassing bring too cleaner.

[B]

I guess the Anaheim Mighty Ducks had an exhibition game there and they ate.

[A]

The team Delicious ducks. Not that so mighty after all.

[B]

Delicious.

[A]

Thank you, Brady. Mighty dogs were eat. That's two quality ones. That was solid there. That was pretty good. Because they love the duck.

[B]

Try the veal.

[A]

The mighty appear king duck.

[B]

Delicious.

[A]

What are you eating, Chad? Little John Sebastian Jer, I think.

[B]

Excuse me, Quang. This doesn't taste like Coke.

[A]

Me Chinese me for a joke put TV in Chad's coke. Thank you, Freddie. I couldn't get through it. I didn't expect to be in second grade there. You know that was immature because Larry's laughing.

[B]

That'll be a song. Pretty soon Mr. Blackwell came out released his worst and best dressed list. Everyone's pounding that today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And of course all that. He doesn't do them anymore.

[A]

Carol Channing Read him. Read him. Yesterday I watched it on tv. Really?

[B]

Please. Hello.

[A]

It was like, oh, my God, it's elderly Bill Walton in a dress.

[B]

Number one was Paris Hilton.

[A]

Paris Hilton is number one. You're Carol Channing. Haven't you been dead since like 87? No, please. And then she's saying, hello, Dolly for a half an hour and talk. She's the one who didn't have sex with her husband for like 47 years, isn't she? Oh, yeah, he was. He was impotent and afraid and ashamed of sex and didn't do it. And she wrote a book when they got divorced 47 years later that they never did it.

[B]

I thought that was because Lamb Chop became between them. Lamb Chop?

[A]

Sherry Lewis, totally different person.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Still a horribly ugly old blonde woman.

[B]

Same voice pretty much.

[A]

Please, Brady, it's been 47 years. Will you knock the cobwebs out now?

[B]

I need to.

[A]

Carol Channing's known for one thing.

[B]

Sorry about that Lamb chop reference.

[A]

Yeah, Carol Channing with that voice became a Broadway singing star and was famous. And I remember when I was a kid, my grandpa used to have watch Carol Channing. It seemed like she was on every time I was over there. And you know, just hear, well, hello, Dolly. And I'm a kid watching Carol Channing, that's like scarring me. And then I have to hear her on the stupid. But who's number one on the Blackwell thing?

[B]

Paris Hilton.

[A]

Paris Hilton is the big one. What was number 10? Yeah, who's the worst?

[B]

Number 10 is Laura Flynn Boyle. Oh, beautiful face, but no taste. What a waste.

[A]

Food too. Please, Brady, leave it to the experts.

[B]

Courtney Love, number nine, undisputed queen of tack.

[A]

Now, Courtney Love hasn't done anything.

[B]

Melanie Griffith, number eight. A botox cockatoo in a painting by Dalai Lama.

[A]

It was funny. Is Blackwell's been like almost dead for four or five years now, hasn't he? He can't even get out.

[B]

No, he's still alive. But he's not. He is not in the best of.

[A]

He can't get out of bed, I don't think. Who are the rest of them? Round him up.

[B]

Madonna and Britney's tied for a second.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Someone arrest the kissing cousins of culture crime boy. Shania Twain, number three, buckled bombs and country fried kitsch.

[A]

I don't get it.

[B]

I don't get means bad taste.

[A]

I know, but I don't understand why this guy's famous.

[B]

He had designed a couple of gowns way back when. I just thought he Was dresses a.

[A]

Loud gay guy that people laughed at once. And then he got a job doing it for good.

[B]

You know, Diana Ross, you know, had her extreme DUI case in Arizona. She's got some more stuff to cope with. The loss of her ex husband, Ernie. I think it's Nais, a rugged, Norwegian outdoorsy type. Died in a mountain climbing accident near Cape Town, South Africa. Details are sketchy. At this point, all we know is the obvious that he fell to his death. Diana and Arnie were married in 85, got divorced almost four years ago. They have two sons.

[A]

And that's why she was drunk in Tucson?

[B]

No, she's dealing with this whole case and now she's got to deal with her ex. But I don't think that would be, you know, if he was an ex. Who knows how close they were.

[A]

I don't know. I never know. I never understand his stories when they take these twists.

[B]

She's not only dealing with the drunk case, now the death of her ex husband she's dealing with.

[A]

That happened a long time ago.

[B]

Why is that so hard to understand?

[A]

When did it happen? Didn't you say it happened like four years? Never mind they were divorced. What are we talking about? Diana Ross. What happened? Eric, who is this woman?

[B]

You guys are idiots. You guys are ID 10 teams.

[A]

So wait, Carol. Carol Channing's husband is dead?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it got dangerous drunk in Tucson. What does lamb chop have to do with all this? Take a pill, Brady.

[B]

That's about it. Well, to rugged outdoorsman. Let's get back to the. Another rugged outdoorsman, Ted Nugent.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Needed 40 stitches to close a gash in his leg, which he gave himself with a chainsaw while filming his VH1 reality series, Surviving Nugent. VH was taping, man. Ted was right back in front of the cameras with a brace and a leg after getting the stitches. Nearly sold his leg off.

[A]

That's funny. Well, it's not. It'll be good TV though, if you haven't seen it.

[B]

The show features a bunch of people living in Ted's Michigan farm trying to win money while Ted basically berates them.

[A]

And and cuts his legs off. It's a great show. I haven't seen it. Is it on already? Yeah, I've never seen it last season.

[B]

Prior installment ran in October. That's a two hour special. The one they're filming right now will air beginning in April.

[A]

I have never seen the Ted Nugent show. What I love is the Wilderness with Ted Nugent. There's a black guy at Ted's house.

[B]

The other one I saw, he was on horseback. Ted was with a paintball rifle. And they had to run there on foot. And he basically had shooting.

[A]

Ted's galloping people.

[B]

He hunted pretty much. They had bales of hay to hide behind and he'd smoke them out of there.

[A]

He just tortures them. Are you kidding me?

[B]

No, it's great.

[A]

That's not great. It's illegal. In fact, 47 states.

[B]

One girl was a vegetarian and he's making her gut the deer that they got.

[A]

And she's like, I'm out.

[B]

I'm out. You tap out, basically. If you can't take it anymore.

[A]

That's horrible. Who signs up for that? And what black guy is getting his buddies?

[B]

The black guy got whatever you call it when you immunity that day because he ate the deer with Ted and his wife.

[A]

Real, you know, they shared a moment too. They were sitting in the truck together and he's like blaring some like, rock music and the black guy's just shaking out of his element. Who signed the black guy up for that? Hey, man, you've always liked Ted Nugent, haven't you? No. You sign up and live with him for a while. Yeah, I should live in the wilderness with Ted Nugget Nugent. Whatever. It's free. How does the black guy get involved? I don't know. How does anybody get involved but the black guy especially? It's like having a Chinese guy hanging out.

[B]

Thought head.

[A]

I rub all your stuff. Wang dang. Sweet Poon tang, baby. Thank you, Kwan. Whatever. And that's on again in April. I gotta find this VH1. I've heard a lot of good things about it. The black guy at Ted's house. Something wrong there. There's your entertainment draw. Well done, Brady.

[B]

Black scratch fever 98.

[A]

Get UPD. Good one. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. With savings over $390 this shopping season. Vervo helps you swap gift wrap time for quality time with those you love most. From snow on the roof to sand between your toes. We have all the vacation rental options covered. Go to VRBO now and book a last minute week long stay. Save over $390 this holiday season and book your next vacation rental home on VRBO. Average savings $396. Select homes only.