Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 12-31-25 – FULL SHOW – Wednesday

Date: December 31, 2025
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Overview

This episode of “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” is characteristically wild, blending Arizona-centric banter, irreverent social commentary, and comedic riffs on pop culture, local news, and nostalgia. John Holmberg and his co-hosts dive into everything from “super fit grandmas” with thousands of lovers, to weird food facts, infamous teacher scandals, and musings about failed restaurants poised for comebacks. Regular segments include 80s and pop-culture trivia games, plus recurring satirical characters (like “Super Genius” and ghostly politicians) who drop in to stir up the morning chaos.

Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. The "Super Fit Grandma" Discussion

[01:49–18:28]

• Story Launch: John and Dennis discuss a BBC headline: “Super fit grandma has slept with 800 lovers.”
• Changing Generational Stereotypes:
  • Comparing their own “grandmas” (classic, ageless sweaters and elastic pants) with modern, sexually active, Instagram-famous grandmothers.
  • Jokes about the horror of envisioning one’s grandmother as a sexual being.
• Discussion of Social Media and Fame:
  • The featured “grandma” is now in London, has hundreds of thousands of followers, and makes money from explicit requests.
  • “Her 9-year-old grandson is, quote, ‘a little shy when it comes to talking about her.’ He’s not very comfortable—as he's a boy. That has nothing to do with it. But all my family are very proud about having a fitness gran.” – Dennis (06:27)
  • Panel riffs on the psychological toll on her grandchildren, referencing a £50,000 request for a shaving video.
• Cultural Critique:
  • Debate on whether such sexual openness in older age is about empowerment or revenge.
  • Hosts implore grandmas everywhere: “If you’re a grandma and you’re still doing situps, keep it to yourself.” – Dennis (14:26)

2. Trivia Segment: Super Genius vs Listeners

[19:39–29:55]

• Format: Holmberg becomes “Super Genius,” challenging phone-in listeners to 80s pop culture trivia.
• Examples & Memorable Moments:
  • “Boxer Mike Tyson records the fastest knockout of his career: 30 seconds against this heavyweight. …That was Marvis Frazier!” – Holmberg (21:27)
  • (Mock arrogance as he wins): “Let’s start with line five. Who’s this? Daniel, are you ready to lose to Super Genius?” (20:26)
• Recurring Bit: Holmberg and the crew jokingly undermine each other’s scoring, mock bad answers, and call out perceived injustices.
• Listener Banter: The “Lap Dog” host assists with questions; players buzz in by name.
  • “Super genius is a dick. Someone signed off IM. I am the super genius was a dick.” – Listener message (25:49)

3. Stephen Hawking “Visits” and Space Game

[30:19–43:45]

• Impersonation Segment:
  • “Dr. Stephen Hawking” is played for comic effect, participating in call-in movie and lyrics quizzes about space.
  • Hawking-style dry humor about his own disabilities, riffing with the crew.
    • “Despite being completely physically incapable of moving, I still have better handwriting than you do.” – “Hawking” (32:10)
• Space Movie/Lyrics Quizzes:
  • Listeners try to guess films or songs from obtuse Hawking-delivered clues.
  • “Rocket Man” and “Space Lord Mother” by Monster Magnet are among the referenced answers (41:15; 43:15).
• Notable Quip:
  • “Enjoy walking. When things are bad, think of me with my picket fence teeth and inability to get out of this chair.” – “Hawking” (37:06)

4. “Whiteout” Satire and Strom Thurmond Character

[44:45–55:16]

• Premise: “Strom Thurmond” (impersonated) appears to promote the Coyotes’ hockey “whiteout” game, delivering tongue-in-cheek, antiquated Southern “white pride” commentary for comedic and cringey effect.
• Racial Shtick and Social Lampooning:
  • Thinly veiled parodies of Thurmond's historical racism, presented as over-the-top, absurd satire.
  • “Who's your favorite player? Dave White? My favorite hockey player is Red Grange. I just like watching all those white boys skating around on that ice…” – “Strom Thurmond” (47:12)
  • “If I lose, I will. White.” (48:48)
• White-Themed Game Show:
  • Contestants guess objects with “white” in the name (“polar bear”, “White Castle”).
  • “Are you going to do the game tonight? ...You don't like hockey? Even when it's all white?” –Thurmond (47:51)
  • The satirical discomfort is part of the bit.

5. Pop Culture, Food, and Life Discoveries

[56:09–62:38]

• “Baby Carrots Aren’t Real” Realization:
  • Dennis expresses shock upon learning “baby carrots” are just regular carrots cut and shaped, not grown small.
  • “I thought there were little tiny-handed, like, slave babies somewhere pulling baby carrots out of the ground.” – Dennis (59:14)
  • The gang teases Dennis’ naïveté, expanding the joke to other “fake” food items.
• More Trivia on Fun Cities and Laws:
  • The ten most fun cities in America are discussed (Vegas, Orlando, etc.) and the cheapest places for fun.
  • Wacky state laws: “Whispering in church is illegal in Delaware if it disrupts the service.” (72:35)

6. Lottery Drama and Legal Loopholes

[66:15–70:43]

• Unclaimed Lottery Ticket Fiasco:
  • California’s massive unclaimed lottery win, a man’s legal challenge to claim both halves.
  • “If the other winner doesn’t come forward, the whole jackpot’s mine. ... The lottery could be lying.” – Dennis (68:00)

7. Nostalgia and Food Poisoning: The Return of Chi-Chi’s

[77:38–88:39]

• 80s Restaurant Comebacks:
  • News that the infamous Chi-Chi’s Mexican restaurant is reopening, despite being closed after a hepatitis outbreak.
  • “Four people died and they want to come back. Break out the Feldman, Holmberg. This is the comeback king!” – Dennis (84:27)
  • Crew debates which food-borne outbreaks are forgivable (E. coli vs. hepatitis).
  • “Jodi Arias killed one guy and she can’t come back. Why can Chee Chee’s?” – Dennis (81:48)

8. Twins, Teen Pranks, and Awkward High School Stories

[88:55–103:44]

• Family Keeps Dead Twin Secret from Grandparents:
  • Story about a family faking the existence of a dead twin for elder relatives.
• Personal Tales & Pranks:
  • Byron shares being tricked by a friend pretending to be a twin.
  • Dennis recalls pretending to be his own cousin to avoid going to a school dance with a girl.
  • “She sent her friend with balloons, and I’m like, ‘Oh, you think I’m John. I’m his cousin Dennis.’” (96:58)
  • The hosts roast each other for awkward teen years and failed romantic ploys.

9. Teachers, Scandals & Satirical Second-Chance Program

[104:46–132:08]

• On Public School Teaching:
  • Holmberg lambasts the idea of teaching as an underpaid, miserable profession, and bemoans “making a difference” as insufficient compensation.
  • “You spent 200 grand in college to make $30,000 a year. You’re an idiot. That check don’t cash.” – Dennis (108:29)
• Former Teachers with Scandals:
  • Comedic proposal: let ex-teachers convicted of inappropriate student relations have a “second chance” at teaching—if they slip up again, it’s the electric chair.
  • “All those teachers that have been in trouble for banging the kids, put them back in the classes. Just go. Don’t do it. It’s execution if you get it the second time.” – Dennis (110:09)
  • “You get your teaching license back, and let these normal people thinking of quitting teaching finally go.” (126:22)
  • Satirical implications for students falsely accusing teachers.
• Memorable Digressions:
  • Jokes about infamous cases (Mary Kay Letourneau, Brittany Zamora), and reminiscing about scandalous teachers and coach encounters from their schooldays.

10. Pop Culture Noise: Celebrity News and Mockery

[133:30–148:55]

• Jessica Simpson’s Edible Product Line:
  • “You may have heard Jessica was coming up with a quote: Kissable, lickable fragrance. … Creamy, dreamy, and juicy.” – Byron (133:44)
  • Minor mockery of Simpson’s celebrity “expertise” on marriage and intimacy.
• Paris Hilton Musings:
  • “Never drink Diet Coke. Diet Coke is for fat people.” (137:38)
  • “I used to have fun and dress up and that was my life. But now I’ve grown up a lot. I’m still gonna be me.” (138:00)
• Grammys & Celebrity Deaths:
  • Reactions to Beyoncé’s Grammys sweep; Adam Sandler’s bulldog “Meatball” dies.
  • Carol Channing/Blackwell List/Lambchop references.
• Super Bowl Broadcast in China:
  • Jokes about “Misha quinling key” (Chinese for American football).
  • Satire of the cultural misunderstanding: “‘Look at him throw that olive shaped ball, Chad!’” (140:20)
• Ted Nugent Reality Show:
  • Ted injures himself with a chainsaw while filming “Surviving Nugent”; panel jokes about the black contestant’s role and survival prospects.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On “Hot Grandmas” [04:59]:

  • “Sex is her fuel and she dates three to five times a week, both men and women.” – Dennis

• On “Super Genius” Segment [21:27]:

  • “Boxer Mike Tyson records the fastest knockout of his career. That was Marvis Frazier!” – Holmberg

• On Food Disillusionment [59:14]:

  • “I thought there were little tiny-handed, like, slave babies somewhere pulling baby carrots out of the ground.” – Dennis

• On Teaching as a Career [108:29]:

  • “You spent 200 grand in college to make $30,000 a year. You’re an idiot.” – Dennis

• On Scandalous Teachers [110:34]:

  • “If they do it again, it’s the electric chair. … One, you can get out of jail today—you either dedicate your life to OnlyFans or we’re putting you back into the classroom.” – Dennis

• On Chi-Chi’s Return [84:27]:

  • “Four people died and they want to come back. This is the comeback king!” – Dennis

• On Satirical Strom Thurmond [47:12]:

  • “I just like watching all those white boys skating around on that ice, surrounded by those white shirts…”

• On Growing Up [138:00]:

  • “I used to have fun and dress up and that was my life. But now I’ve grown up a lot. I’m still gonna be me.” – Byron as Paris Hilton

Conclusion

This episode showcases “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness” at its most unfiltered: careening through biting satire, nostalgia, and pop-culture, skewering societal shifts from “hot grandma” influencers to the pitfalls of modern education and resurrecting notorious 80s brands. Listeners get a mix of absurd and laugh-out-loud moments, slapstick games, dark anecdotes, and razor-sharp mockery of everything and everyone—including themselves.

Detailed Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:49] – “Hot Grandma” Phenomenon
• [19:39] – Super Genius Trivia
• [30:19] – Stephen Hawking Space Games
• [44:45] – “Whiteout” & Strom Thurmond
• [56:09] – Baby Carrots & Garden Myths
• [62:38] – Brady Report / Most Fun Cities
• [66:15] – Unclaimed Lottery
• [77:38] – Chi-Chi’s Comeback / Food Poisoning
• [88:55] – Twins & Fooling Grandparents
• [104:46] – Teacher Careers & Scandals / Second-Chance Satire
• [133:30] – Celebrity News & Miscellany
• [140:20] – Super Bowl in China
• [146:22] – Ted Nugent Reality TV

Note: Adverts, intros, and outros were omitted. The summary maintains the tongue-in-cheek, sometimes edgy tone of the show, and captures its irreverent, conversational style.