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John Holmberg
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Brady Bogan
To you're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns, your trusted source for firearms and Accessories online@mmpguns.com Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The best of Homeless Morning Sickness this is the big Red radio, ready to go. Everybody seemed to have survived the dumbest holiday that America celebrates. We drink enough. We're good. We do a great job of it.
John Holmberg
Saw some outfits.
Brady Bogan
I don't get it.
John Holmberg
Did you wear green yesterday?
Brady Bogan
I had a shirt on that I didn't realize had green on. Oh, I'm not going out of my way for that. I have a friend of mine was like, let's go to a spring training game. I'm like, are you kidding me? No. Any. Any excuse that out loud. Alcoholics have to celebrate their alcoholism like New Year's Eve and St. Patty's Day. I avoid those. Like Cinco de Mayo. That's when they feel like, oh, we're so. Like, we're. We can get really obnoxiously drunk. Being drunk's fun. Obnoxiously drunk is what happens on St. Patty's Day. I was a. I forgot it was St. Patrick's Day. And my buddy Janny has this deal he's got going on where John. He makes crazy deals. I make. I can. I get 10% of bar sales every Sunday at this bar because he's got some. He's going to bring people in. I don't know how. I don't know how you do that. He's just. He talks.
John Holmberg
Isn't that.
Brady Bogan
Ever heard of it? No. Is it like Don King over here just making moves because he wants to play African music. Not the tribal drums and the. Hi. Not Afrobeat. That's the stuff he said. I didn't know what it was. He's like, it's raging. It's great Afrobeat and I Say I arrange Afrobeat night, and people come in. I get 10% of sales. Like, what? It's come Sunday. And I'm like, maybe I'll do that Sunday. I'm like, oh, African St. Patrick's Day. I don't even know what that means. I'm staying away from that. It's like Guinness and lion's blood and what are we drinking? So I avoided it. But yeah. And then I was gonna ride my bike somewhere. I'm like, oh, yeah, it's St. Patrick's Day. I'm not going by bars, so I avoid that. Stupid. And the food's terrible. It's one of the. Look, Mexicans get mad because they make fun of tamales being a poor person's present for Christmas, because that's essentially all it is. They're not very good. And again, my evidence of that is you don't order them. When you go to a Mexican restaurant ever, you never go, hey, how about a plate load of tamales for the table? No, doesn't occur. It's like seventh. I'm not saying they're terrible. I'm saying they're like the seventh or eighth best thing Mexican food offers, period. Like, if you get an enchilada or a burrito and a tamale in front of you for lunch, you're pushing that. You know, that bottom of the glass mush thing with a tampon, string of meat in it, and you push it away and you eat the real Mexican food.
John Holmberg
The tamales are like the tradition. It's just like the St. Patty stated. We do corned beef exactly once a year.
Brady Bogan
Yuck.
John Holmberg
December tamales.
Brady Bogan
Yes, yuck. To corned beef and cabbage all the way around. Your house smells like a. Disgusting. It just. It's like a bad bathroom. It tastes bad, it looks bad. Guinness is okay, but it doesn't need to be guzzled. Everything about St Patrick's Day is terrible. The people that show up are usually, like, closeted alcoholics that feel like this is their day to shine. Just an awful day.
John Holmberg
I thought this was interesting. They pulled for St Patrick's Day. 1,000 people in Ireland, they think it's stupid how Irish you have to be before you can tell people, yeah, I'm Irish. America is a big melting pot, so it's common to hear people say, I'm Irish. At least one of your great great grandparents was from Ireland. Only 18% of the people from Ireland say, that's okay to say you're Irish.
Brady Bogan
You're not. You're.
John Holmberg
You're here now at Least one grandparent is Irish. 24%. That's okay. At least one parent is from Ireland, 47%.
Brady Bogan
So here's the thing. If you haven't survived a religious car bombing, you can't say you're truly Irish, because that's what they lived with every day for the longest time in Northern Ireland. Then the rest of Ireland was just mad that that was happening. If you haven't. Yeah, that's. That's the truth of our biggest one experience, Ireland.
John Holmberg
Both parents are born in Ireland, still 61%. So a lot of people in Ireland don't think you should ever say it unless you're actually from there.
Brady Bogan
Okay. Was Lou Brock a Chicago cub? No. He played there.
John Holmberg
I know, but he left.
Brady Bogan
He's a cardinal. If you were in Ireland, if your parents were in Ireland and then moved your ass out of it, and you abandoned Ireland to come here for a better, you're no longer Irish. You have Irish. You have a link to your Irish heritage. You're not Italian in the ways that Italians will look at you and go, come on. I've abandoned being Swedish. I just say I am. That's why I'm Jewish now. Yeah, I hear it a lot. There's nothing about. By the way, I was working out on tonal, and my trainer is Hakim something. I forget his last name. He's great. He's really good on the thing. And he's talking to me. He goes, all right, time to say goodbye to that old Jew and hello to the new one. And I'm like, wait a minute. I put it down because all you people have been teasing me so much that I heard it. Instead of old you, he said, come on, get rid of that old Jew, and let's talk about, like, wow, that's enough of this anti Semitism. No, like, wait a minute.
John Holmberg
He.
Brady Bogan
He just said old you. I misunderstood. I need to get one of those. But, yeah, if you leave the country you were in because either you were kicked out or ran away from it because you were poor and starving and you just thought, anywhere is better than here, you lose some of your ties to that. And certainly March 17th doesn't turn it around, or you can start running. It's just. It's an excuse for drunks to act like idiots because they blend in that day. If you acted like St. Patty's Day drunk on April 8, you'd just be an asshole. But on St. Patrick's Day, it's acceptable. So the real drunks come rolling out. My friend Ray, my old Irish boxing Trainer, you celebrate that St. Patty's Day, Johnny? Nah, I really don't. I think it's kind of a waste. I think it's just a beer sales day, and that's fine. Have fun. But I'm not in on it. Yeah, it's like the least Irish thing you do. We don't even care about it. We don't even do it up there. Like, no kidding. Yeah. And I think it was like on a Wednesday that week, and I was training with him on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So Wednesday rolls around, Jonny boy. I'm like, oh, no. Hey, we're not gonna make training today. Like, why St. Patrick's Day? I thought you said you didn't celebrate any excuse to get out there drinking, Joanie. I'm like, oh, all right. Well, this is your. Come on. That's the design. That was it. You just wanted an excuse to be a belligerent, a hole full of alcohol and have nobody yell at you for it. That's essentially what it is. You don't get yelled at when you're drunk on St. Patrick's Day. You do. Like, if you showed up to work drunk on St. Patrick's Day, probably, like, I had St. Patrick's Day, I got a little out of hand. But on, you know, again, like April 8th, you show up drunk, you're just a belligerent dick who can't control himself. Or if you're at like a Dropkick Murphy show or something, because then you got everybody in there thinking it's St. Patrick's Day again.
John Holmberg
Everybody around, their little Mick hats, everything.
Brady Bogan
Well, because the Irish, and this is not a stereotype, it's a fact. Are all alcoholics, every one of them. There isn't one that isn't. They're either alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. That's just. It's essentially what it is. No problem with that. But, yeah, St. Patty's Day is just a ridiculous waste of. It's a drunken goon fest. I don't like going out to those.
John Holmberg
I don't know how big it was or what the numbers would be. Although, you know, it still fell on a weekend. It was kind of quiet because it's Sunday.
Brady Bogan
Well, I think Saturday, I mean, they still.
John Holmberg
The main bars would have their stuff.
Brady Bogan
Chicago was ridiculous. There's so many Irish there.
John Holmberg
You figure they did it Friday. Saturday was just St. Patty's weekend.
Brady Bogan
Well, Chicago changes the game. Did you watch them die the river? Yeah.
John Holmberg
Well, I didn't go to other person.
Brady Bogan
I watched on tv. I'm. I'M not going down the R. All those idiots. Yeah. Yeah. And it is an festival, but it is pretty neat. Like, that river turns green two seconds. I don't know what they're using to kill everything in that river. That. By the way, that river in Chicago is also man made. They reversed it. It's the craziest story of all time. It's like this river's going the wrong way. They went in there and engineered it to go the other way. And it does. And then every year, they pour toxic sewage in it and turn it bright green. And it stays that way for weeks. They did it for the Cubs, too, when they won. When they won the series. And it isn't a little bit blue. It is green. Like, you wouldn't put your toe in it because it looks like every science fiction movie where the nuclear facility is leaking. Yeah. St. Patty's Day. It's. It's going back to what I was saying, though. It is the. It's the. It's when I make fun of Mexicans and the tamales for Christmas. Irish people. It's. You guys have this. It's the dumbest. It's dumb. And your food's no good. And we celebrate garbage. It's like potato and just mashed up cabbage and corned beef. That doesn't taste the same. And it just. It's mush. Because you know why the whole nation didn't have teeth for like 200 years? They had to eat. Everything had to be mush. That's the reason corned beef and cabbage exists, and that's why it's an Irish favorite. Is because they could.
John Holmberg
Cabbage and potatoes would go here. Growing on that land.
Brady Bogan
Right. And they mashed it into.
John Holmberg
And then when it got rocked.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
From the.
Brady Bogan
They had no teeth. It's. It's a fact. Old Irish. No, they didn't have any teeth. They weren't eating steak and, like stuff you had to chew. They were slurping in that. And they. Then they'd boil everything down to just dissolve in your mouth. Ugh. I went to my food pyramid.
John Holmberg
Was potato, cabbage and Guinness.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. I went to the girl who played the Brian Adams thing. Plagiarized Brian Adams to try to win me back. But I went to her family's house for St. Patrick's Day way back. They were very Irish. I didn't realize that although the last name was McDonald.
John Holmberg
I should.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. I wasn't paying attention. I thought maybe Scottish. Didn't care. First and last name was. I was getting laid. It didn't really, it didn't matter to me. She could have been anything. She could have been pro Palestine. I'd have been like, you know what? This is hot. I'm fine with it. But she took me to her house, and I didn't realize what corned beef and cabbage was. We never celebrated. And the door swung open, and that smell hit me. And I'm like, oh. Noise I made immediately. And she's like, what? And I'm like, it's terrible, and you don't want to tell somebody their house stinks. But I had never met her parents. This was my first go in. And it's like walking into. When you're a kid and you walk into some other cultural friend's home. I remember a kid was from India and I lived in San Diego, and I went into his house and it sprayed. It was the worst smell I've. It was BO and soup. And I don't know what kind of soup it was, but I'd rather smell like the soup than the BO that was floating around. And I don't know if it was human BO or if that was a food flavor too.
John Holmberg
It's comboed.
Brady Bogan
It was awful, but. And I knew then and back then, don't say anything. They're different. And then I started to ask him. I'm like, does my house stink? And he's like, oh, Something we had to get used to. I'm like, really? We. We moved everything that was normal to him. Our houses smelled like poop and flowers and hot dogs. And if you think about it, it has to be disgusting to them, too. So I walked in there and that door opened. I smelled that corned beef and cabbage. I made the noise like, what's the matter? It's terrible in here. What is that? It's like, that's dinner. I'm like, oh, no. I gotta pretend to choke this down and enjoy it. Took one bite, spit it out, and went. Not for me. And then I enjoyed a nice Irish meal on the way home, or so I thought. Then I went to the other McDonald's, not down. And I grabbed myself a double quarter pounder on the way home.
John Holmberg
Shamrock.
Brady Bogan
This is delightful. It's gross. You Irish can sit and play, pretend that that's good food. It's not. And I don't. I don't want to hear from you, Brady going, well, you prepare it properly. Why don't you just have something good then? Because if you have to say you prepare it properly, properly, once a year, it's still mush. And I don't Know why you do that to yourself once a year, like, and then they serve it out of that sloppy old bucket like it's 1810. Ladles if you have to ladle.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, we.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it's gross. Disgusting. My heritage is America. I'm American. You be my quarter pounder. Give me my qp. Give me my qp. Screw your old ways. There's a reason your family left that dump. I say it about Mexico, I say it about Ireland. I don't know why we're so proud of it. Somewhere along the line of our parents, grandparents, or somewhere else, they said, this place, let's get out of here. And they.
John Holmberg
They had a choice between that and a Baconator.
Brady Bogan
Are you kidding me? We win. Also, Ireland's not so great because thousands of them rode as steerage on the Titanic just to get out of that dump. They lived in piles of humanity just to leave. They were trying as hard as they could to leave that horrible of a country. You know what we've got? Oregon looks just like it. And it's not nearly as bad. Ireland, everywhere. Our ancestors left. We need to stop celebrating like it's something great. We're American now. Sweden. Dump. The king ruined it. My great, great great great grandfather had to take a kid on because he made money. Some whore got pregnant. And you weren't allowed to have whore babies in Sweden. The king got hold of it and gave it to a prominent family. That's my heritage. My heritage is that somewhere along the lines, one of my great great great great grandmothers was a whore. Had a got pregnant out of wedlock. On the heritage thing of my trace back, it says bastard baby Holmberg. Just gave him over to the Holmberg family. I'm not really a Holmberg, really, when you look at it. That's just the name that got assigned by the king because that whore got knocked up back in like 1840. And they left him like two generations later, the adopted kid. Everybody left and said, you stay here, you're not one of us. And he had to work his way over to them again to work at the gas station. His brother started in Lance Corners, Pennsylvania. He just showed up one day and they're like, ah, John's here. And that was his name, ironically. That's who we named John Holmberg. Great, so you found us, huh? You guys weren't easy to find. You moved to a small town in Pennsylvania. Yeah, we were hiding from you, John. Anyway, you work the pumps. Had to get the job that idiot couldn't recognize. And that's how bad Sweden was. His family ditched him and he still didn't want us there. Saved up to leave. We need to start celebrating America a little more. Screw your Irish heritage. I like a good Irish Car Bomb. Not those kinds of drinks like anybody else, but one. Limit yourself, lunatics. What, do you put Cinco de Mayo in the same category? Cinco de Mayo? Yeah. Just as bad, if not worse. Except for the food's better. Yeah. You got a police there? Yeah. Cinco de Mayo's got one thing over Ireland. Ireland tries to make you drink or eat horrible stuff as a celebration of their culture, like Guinness and Bushmills together. Are you trying to make me sick? And then pile in. Shepherd's pie and mushmouth. No teeth. Cabbage and potato and boiled up lettuce. Oh, it's great. It's a tradition. It's like, I see why your people left. And then you go to Cinco de Mayo. Margaritas, tequila shots, Mexican food. Build that big base, you can drink all day. It's a better. It's a better. I guess what I'm saying is Cinco de Mayo is a better dip holiday than St. Patrick's Day. It's one of the dumbest ones ever. We even got the Irish. I'm of Irish descent, and I can't stand the food or drinking on St. Patrick's Day. To me, it's just turned into a drinking holiday.
John Holmberg
And I pass on the.
Brady Bogan
All of it. That's from Irish. This is from a black listener, John, so don't get mad at me. It says people eat it just to fit in. You don't see me eating KFC and wander around with 40s on MLK Day.
John Holmberg
All right?
Brady Bogan
You can't. Don't email me that kind of stuff, black guy. You're gonna make me read it, and that's hilarious. But he's right. People eat it to fit in. Nobody likes it. Just. It's part of the. It's a joke. But he's right. Like, how bad would it be if we had. If we turned that into a big holiday, a drinking holiday, and everybody was 40 and up and eating, you'd be. It's insulting. I'd love every second. Yeah, I would think it's hilarious. From a distance, I'd find it greatly hilarious. But much like St. Patty's Day, I would not participate. Had enchiladas last night for St Patrick's Day. Irish food. It's disgusting. Gross. This one says. I said, I thought you were a Jew forever. I feel like such a dick. You're Just new to it. No, no, no. Stop it. You guys have made me new to. I'm not stupid. Gilbert. Mom guy is out of control now. Idx. Can you pd giving you a wake of hombre's morning sickness in small doses. There's more of the best of Homburg's morning sickness. We're recapping the day on my emails. It's been kind of a fun thing. Everybody's got something to say. Went back on the. The Mexican. The hideously fierce battle in the international friendly. The fierce rivalry that could come to blows in this international friendly that was played last night in Glendale, Mexico versus the usa. And I was talking about, you know, if there's anybody in that crowd that's waving the Mexican flag that's not here on a legit status, you put that flag down. You know, I'm saying, you know, if you and this guy's email, you know, went back and forth about how the Steelers and the and Mexico are the same, my support of the Pittsburgh Steelers is the exact same as their support of Mexico. Maybe that is true. Point taken. But I will say that waving the flag of the country they're from, it's where it all gets different and it stems off. Look, somebody said it's a free country. Somebody email it's a free country and wave what they want. Exactly. It's a free country. And I can disagree with that. Just because it's a free country and you can do whatever you want doesn't mean there isn't a group of people that have to accept everything.
John Holmberg
Misnomer, too. You can't do whatever you want.
Brady Bogan
No.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's a free country. But you can.
Brady Bogan
Well, that's the thing. But I just don't understand the. The thing that says that you can compare supporting an American sport based on where you lived in this country to, you know, the geopolitical nature of soccer. People don't want to accept that soccer has that. It just does. It's country representation. It's totally different. I get it. Then I get waving the flag. We get back in this debate, but I get waving the flag. I get it. If you're legitimate and everything else, it goes like I told this guy. Goes back to my argument that I was upset when there were marches up and down our streets of Phoenix saying that they didn't like the immigration plan here and they're waving the Mexican flag. And I'm like, well, we don't. You're not putting your best foot forward. All I'm saying, like you said, Brady Is all I'm giving is a little piece of advice on how to quell the opposition a little bit. You don't rub the country you're escaping in our face to say we're staying.
John Holmberg
It's just like anyone that speaks out back to the elections. If Bush gets elected back in the night, I'm going to leave.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
If Obama gets elected.
Brady Bogan
Right.
John Holmberg
Leave. And you get that same reaction sometimes when someone's waving that flag. You're like, well, if you like that place so much.
Brady Bogan
I'm not even talking about waving the flag. It's like a normal person who went through the system and did it. Right.
John Holmberg
It's a. It's a red flag.
Brady Bogan
That's fine with me. That's your culture. I'm totally supportive of that. Good for you. Yeah. I'm saying there were people in that audience last night, I guarantee it, that weren't here on the up and up. And if they're waving a Mexican flag, that's where I take umbrage with that.
John Holmberg
You're making vast generalizations, John.
Brady Bogan
Yes, I am. Yes, I am. But I can pretty much be accurate. Yeah, exactly. My vast generalizations have some merit.
John Holmberg
Now, if that country that they left.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
To gain additional freedoms. Yeah, whatever. Get its act together. What would you say the odds of those people wanting to move back. Probably pretty high.
Brady Bogan
If they're here, fine and everything. They've signed the guest book on the way over. I'm fine with whatever they do. They're not the ones I'm talking about. Those are American.
John Holmberg
But I'm saying, you know, they still couldn't. I don't know. I think there's. Sometimes there is a love for the country over the fact that, I mean, we love the United States. There's a lot of things that we don't like about what we do. Yes.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
It's like being and how we handle things.
Brady Bogan
You cannot like your brother, but if somebody else starts messing with him, he's like, all right, I'm gonna step in here. Yeah. No, if they straightened it up and whatever. All I'm saying is everything. The guy that emailed me, I just. I think I just zinged him because he's like, it's America. People are free to wave the flag. Right. You're right. Every American citizen is free to do anything they want with that kind of speech. You're absolutely right. I'm not talking about them. And I think that's. That's what's getting lost in my argument about the flags last night. Yeah. And if everybody was on the up and up. Cool. We've got a problem. So I'm guessing that's not the case. No. And again, you have to remember who was talking here. I'm a guy who is. Every two weeks was. Used to be pretty for the immigration thing being, you know, levied into some sort of a amnesty program because my yard got so long. And then after it got cut for about three days, I was like, we got to do something about this immigration issue. Then I'd look out there and see that lawn again. I'm like, damn it.
John Holmberg
It's pretty good.
Brady Bogan
Pretty good system we got going right now. Everybody got to be uppity. Let's just be quiet. Yeah. Every American citizen. You can wave whatever flag you want if you're not. And that's what I'm saying. Hypothetically. Probably somebody in there cheering away. I question that. Motive. My buddy who moved here from another country didn't have to renounce his citizenship, but you definitely have to pledge allegiance to the United States and get rid of all other allegiances if you're trying to be a citizen of our country, and that's our country talking. In order to make you a citizen. Yes. I don't have any more ties back there as far as, like, allegiance. My allegiance to this is to the United States. You say it in the pledge, people forget what the words mean. Now I'm waving a flag. I'm on a mountaintop. Brady. I pledge allegiance. Those are.
John Holmberg
Those are saying you fly.
Brady Bogan
See, that's because. And that's why I'm against saying it in schools and stuff. You say it every once in a while. You teach the Pledge of Allegiance, but you say it every day. And even in my head, it just becomes words. Right? It's just. I memorized it, so it's just kind of this empty nonsense. But you think of the words, I pledge allegiance. That's pretty strong penmanship, right? That's pretty. Pretty good wordsmithing.
John Holmberg
Just like the I dos.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
In marriage.
Brady Bogan
Right. People just say it because it's part of the routine. But you think about what you're death to us part. Whoa. Think about what you're saying. Think about what you're not taking that too seriously, though. You're right.
John Holmberg
It's.
Brady Bogan
You know, there's power in a pledge.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get on to the kissing part.
Brady Bogan
There's power in pledge. Cleans wood, cleans glass, cleans leather. Power. And orange pledge, too, because it smells great. The other thing people are emailing me about Are the slow kids at play sign. And like, this one dude wants to start a petition. Like, is there signs going up all around this elementary school by his house? Kids, kids this, kids that. And he said, that's what these city signs I pay for are for. It's a school zone.
John Holmberg
Wish people would obey them. They do, for the most part.
Brady Bogan
Come on. We. You only hear maybe one or two every few years.
John Holmberg
No, I'm saying every time I go through the school zones, it's amazing how many people see how. How often you get passed.
Brady Bogan
Well, it depends on what you're doing, though. If you get past.
John Holmberg
I mean, there's no kids around. People are like, right.
Brady Bogan
You blaze through because the kids should be in school. And. But it's true. I. I slow down in school zones to the things. I don't want the massive ticket that comes with it. But I don't see it being something that's just such a. We don't have a massive issue with it. We have to really kind of, as a whole culture, pull back on what the media tells us. Our big deals are that because. Because it is not like we do not have a problem with school zones to necessitate like three crossing guards. Like, what goes on at mine. We got one on both sides. They got signs that say, kids, kids, kids everywhere. I'm like, I get it. It's a school. If so stupid that the school doesn't make me go, oh, there could be kids nearby. Extra signs aren't going to do the trick.
John Holmberg
I agree with years. Not even 10 years ago, it wasn't this bad.
Brady Bogan
No.
John Holmberg
You didn't have this many crossing guards even here. I remember going to neighborhoods around here with the elementary schools. There wasn't none that many crossing cars.
Brady Bogan
I got them like two streets down everywhere.
John Holmberg
Okay, what happens, though? And I agree with you first and foremost, but you could have some pretty good logical. A little bit of an argument of the way people drive in Arizona.
Brady Bogan
Sure. Okay, then here's the deal.
John Holmberg
Because there's some. I've seen some just.
Brady Bogan
But if we're so afraid, Brady, that we got to put up 25 signs to remind people that schools have kids in them, Close the streets around the schools.
John Holmberg
Well, I haven't really. I mean, that's what I. Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
My neighborhood has them. But it's the extra signs people keep putting up. The guy said he's got. I've got kids zone, school, zone. They put out the signs. They put out extra signs later to remind you that kids are out at certain. It's like, I get it.
John Holmberg
I think it's the increasing of signs is. I think what's more is the increasing number of schools.
Brady Bogan
Well, it's a great neighborhood.
John Holmberg
It's like you go every two streets. You're in a.
Brady Bogan
You know, you're in the burbs, man. So there's nothing but houses and there's Mormons, so they're multiplying like rabbits. There's kids.
John Holmberg
Everything I had when a kid still gets it. There was a kid last year that got hit in my neighborhood. And the streets are basically 25 miles per hour. And it's so obvious when there's kids around. And yet this kid gets hit by, you know, and it comes down. I think the texting thing, there's all.
Brady Bogan
Sorts of reasons, but I'm not saying this to sound. It's the same argument people use for gun control. It's like, if we could lower the body count, we'd do it. It's not that it's not happening that much.
John Holmberg
And what you're saying is calm down.
Brady Bogan
About the kid flags.
John Holmberg
You can calm down about the kid thing, but also I would say the other thing. I. I would apologize. I guess the city needs to apologize to this. The people that are upset on the signs that it's taken an additional 30 seconds out of your day.
Brady Bogan
It isn't that. It isn't that. What I. You know what I see when I see extra signs? Little glow in the dark, men with flags, and all these things that say, slow down, Kids at play. I see parents not doing their jobs. I see little signs out there saying, you know what? I put the sign out. It'll be somebody else's fault if I stop. If that kid should be allowed run free because I put up little signs. No, you keep an eye on your kids. Don't let them play on the road. First of all, I wasn't allowed in the road when I was a kid, and no little electric glowing man was coming out.
John Holmberg
This is when I've realized I've become an old man.
Brady Bogan
Because.
John Holmberg
Because when we were kids, your parents used to say, go outside and play. And they didn't worry about you unless they heard screeching brakes.
Brady Bogan
That's. It's a little late.
John Holmberg
Until something happened.
Brady Bogan
Somewhere in between there and today is where we need to go to. Yeah, screeching brakes. Not the. Not the siren. I want to be able to tell.
John Holmberg
Your kids, hey, watch out for cars.
Brady Bogan
When they did it, kids weren't so insulated and dumb.
John Holmberg
But that didn't make it Right. I mean, kids were still getting hit.
Brady Bogan
You know, does it seem like they were a little street smarter? Like they weren't so insulated and afraid of everything? Kids are being taught to be scared to death. There's signs to protect them from everything. Little fake fences.
John Holmberg
They're not even being taught. They're not even like, you have to be careful that are out there now.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, no, don't. Don't go beyond the sidewalk.
Brady Bogan
Right.
John Holmberg
You have to be careful of the overprotection because now the kid's not aware of it.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. That's what I see when I see signs. That's exactly. That's a succinct way of saying what I'm trying to say. The kids aren't aware because they're constantly protected by mommy putting up little glow.
John Holmberg
In the dark man.
Brady Bogan
And why in the world is it a glow in the dark man? If you're worried about your kid in the street, if he glows in the dark, that means it's nighttime. Why would you put a glow in the dark man in the road at night? So your kids can have access to the traffic dummies.
John Holmberg
We don't use it too much at night, but during the day. Of course you don't.
Brady Bogan
But it's glow in the dark, so it's designed for night Play optic.
John Holmberg
The optics always come. It's glow in the dark green.
Brady Bogan
The optic is the sun shining down and showing you everything in front of you. The glow in the dark is nighttime. It's a bright color, but if the orange flag isn't enough, gotta be glow in the dark, everything. That is a great idea, though, is to put one of those jam. One of those in the grill of your car. Just keep driving. What happened? Totally oblivious to the whole thing. You got one of those little glow in the dark flag men in the front of your car. Better him than the kids, I suppose.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
I just don't understand it. All right. You get me off on these tangents, you emailers. Stop it. You email me and I'll recap the whole damn show.
John Holmberg
There's a lot of helicoptering. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
It just seems to be signs and little treats and little things that are like, okay, we'll put that. And it lessens the job that needs.
John Holmberg
Here's the other side of the too much helicoptering. They make me feel like a bad parent. And they look down on you when you're not doing what they're doing.
Brady Bogan
That's true.
John Holmberg
When you let your kids go outside and ride around, ride their bike around the block. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
But on the flip side.
John Holmberg
And go out of your sight.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Your kid did fall.
John Holmberg
You know, there's a couple of. But I was right next to him.
Brady Bogan
That's true. You pushed him. I forgot about there. You were there for that. That's right. And it's gonna happen either way. You know what I think?
John Holmberg
Knee deep in your laptop.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Yeah, probably. So you didn't have a sign that said, don't climb in the banisters. That would. That would have saved him.
John Holmberg
Just got done telling him, get off there. You're gonna fall.
Brady Bogan
To me, it's literally the last word to cover your ass. So if your kid does have. If an unfortunate accident told you. Yeah. If an unfortunate accident happens and you. You had your little glow in the dark man out there. Right. Then you can blame the driver. Yes. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah, exactly.
Brady Bogan
So it's not about you saying, oh, my God.
John Holmberg
Well, I'm driving.
Brady Bogan
Driving on the roads, because that's where cars go. And your kid ran out, and I didn't see it.
John Holmberg
If Kirby is going to ride her bike or scooter around the neighborhood, the only way she does it is leashed to the green guy. He's just a drag him around. Wait a minute. Shouldn't it be out in front of her?
Brady Bogan
No. It's my theory of dipping your kids in glow in the dark paint when they go outside, making them carry an orange flag. If that thing started walking around, people would slow down. Oh, my God. Those little guys have come to life.
John Holmberg
You get Kirby in that outfit for Halloween this year.
Brady Bogan
And for those of you who don't remember this morning, I was talking about. Because some lady near my house in a cul de sac with three houses in it. That is part of the road. It's a bubble. It's not even a cul de sac. Had the slow. Please watch out. Don't drive too fast in my cul de sac. There are kids in it. And it was in the cul de sac. It wasn't even on the road outside. It was inside the cul de sac. You got to be a complete moron.
John Holmberg
She's trying to lay down the territory that don't. Don't pull into this cul de sac.
Brady Bogan
Then you've got a weird cul de sac, because not a lot of people just go, you know what I'm gonna do? Dig a couple little curved detours. I just love driving in those little cul de sacs.
John Holmberg
Or it was the man everyone hates cul de sac. Or the father was putting out because mom hasn't come home yet and she'll come barreling in there.
Brady Bogan
That's true now. That is true. If the wife isn't home yet and.
John Holmberg
She'S got access to a vehicle, they know those. They know those green kids mean slow down.
Brady Bogan
Then you just need a gate.
John Holmberg
It's the added tennis ball.
Brady Bogan
That's an excellent point. There are too many women drivers is what it's come down to, necessitating all these stupid signs. Back to my grandpa's way when this country meant something. Waving Mexican flags and women couldn't drive anyway. Better world today. Sorry, they got me on a tangent, Brady. It's out of control now. 98. I'm sorry, do I know you? There's more of the best of Hombre's morning sickness. This segment's brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out online@actionrideshop.com or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. Oh, this is terrible. Wow.
John Holmberg
That's how you play.
Brady Bogan
Good deal. It is terrible, I tells you. It's 8:38. Boy, reading these stories these boys have written, I'm not sure we can bring John Travolta in this. There might be too much. I don't think we need him. I don't think we need him at this point. John's. John's gonna stand outside. You mean I came down here all the way down here to see you guys and be insanely gay for you and now you don't need me anymore at all? Let's just say that it was something I should have thought of before I actually agreed to come down to the show. It could be our legal counsel on the side if we help. Did you watch it? No. You didn't see it, Brady. It's weird. Like there's the normal John Travel Travolta where he's just.
John Holmberg
That's why I couldn't. I saw a couple amped up, super.
Brady Bogan
Version of John Travolta that's very excited about everything that's happening. It's weird. And his hands are always like gay. He's doing really super gay. He came out of the closet last night, I think on tv. I remember Shapiro doing interviews and he seemed very lawyerly. Yeah, I remember him being very straightforward. Like, here's how things are strong about that. Very. Yeah. I don't remember Shapiro being flitty and enamored with Hollywood. Maybe he was behind the scenes. Juice, Juice. It's time we went outside for a little while. And Chadhead, like, what's happening to John Travolta in that clown makeup? Put your hands down. Anyway, it is time now. You got the music? Do you have any good music for us? Toledo. Toledo's got a theme song for this.
John Holmberg
He's not that way. I think he did commercials for Legal Zoo too.
Brady Bogan
That was. Was that Shapiro?
John Holmberg
I think it was.
Brady Bogan
I think it was. I think you're right. It was Robert Shapiro. Yeah, I don't remember him.
John Holmberg
He's very sound and. Yeah, legal counsel.
Brady Bogan
What is this the theme too? Oh, it's the old guy talk about Guy Fieri's former. Oh, brilliant Guy Fieri and his terrible show. And a stupid hat I used to have. I remember they used to have hot girls on this. Then you'd be rolling the toilet paper. You'd watch them just because the chicks were hot. Right, Guy? Yeah, they did have good looking girls in like tank tops with big pants. And they'd make them balance stuff on their chest for like a minute. Guy wasn't interested. You know the one good thing. I'll find the silver lining after sensitivity training issue. The one good thing Guy Fieri did was create a culture of identifiable douchebags. The minute someone bought one of those visors with Fieri hat in them, you knew never to deal with that human being again. Unless of course, they were 90 or a child. Just like Crocs.
John Holmberg
I can't believe you're giving him the credit for that.
Brady Bogan
Oh, completely giving him. It had fire on it. And that terrible flat top. That was Guy's thing. And maybe he didn't invent the hat.
John Holmberg
Brady, he just went for the look.
Brady Bogan
No, he was the look. Then the hat people went for it with the fire.
John Holmberg
If you wore a shirt firearm because it got trendy.
Brady Bogan
Anybody bracelets. Yeah, everybody had loaded with silver. Yeah, Douchebaggery was identifiable thanks to Guy Fieri. If you were dressed similarly to Guy Fieri, I knew you were a douchebag. And it might have been before Guy, but he embraced it. And if you didn't dump it the second you first saw Guy Fieri on tv. Diners driving to dive. Yum. The burger meat tastes like burger and the bun is bready. It's all burgers, asshole. Really? Taste the onions. Cause there's onions in it. What are you doing now? Deep frying the french fries. Whoa, out of bounds, power town. What? Making fries and a burger, you insufferable ass. Get out of my kitchen. I'm gonna eat something now. Chewing is hard work. You're an idiot. All right?
John Holmberg
Those restaurants are like, eat away. Just bringing more business. My place.
Brady Bogan
Oh, no. I understood why people did it, but I wanted. I would have kicked them out and closed my doors. Fear they ever came back. All right, so we've got people on the line here. The game is definitely due to our sensitivity training. I will choose a story just randomly out of my pile of stories written by all four members of the Morning Sickness. That's Brady, Toledo, Eric, and myself, John, for those who are just tuning in. And stories that we're ashamed of from our past where we would definitely be considered either criminal or just maybe emotionally criminal. Assholes and things we've never really told the truth about. Or maybe we've told it and we feel kind of bad. It's kind of weighing on our conscience. So we're opening up today, and you have to name that asshole. Name three asshole stories correctly. You associate the story with the proper asshole, and you will get yourself supercross tickets. We got Coyotes tickets, I think are in there as well. We got those. Also NHRA Nitro spring training tickets. You get to choose just for naming that. And we've got Sean on the line. Sean, are you there? Yep. Sean, are you a long time listener? Yeah. All right, Sean, this definitely will help because I've been an open book and a few of these stories have been on the air. Eric, I believe also, Brady, you're the one that might shock us all. You might have a couple stories, might have told. A couple.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Toledo, no one knows anything about you. I barely remember your name on a daily basis. So whenever the story comes up and it's you, we'll be surprised. All right, first story in name Badasshole. I once stole lumber from a neighbor's yard to build myself a fort in the backyard. The cops came and scared the crap out of me. Who do you think did that, Don? Me? Incorrect. Incorrect. I would have had my parents with jobs buy me a fort. No, that was me. Eric was that asshole. That seemed kind of tame, didn't it? Yeah. Do you feel bad about that? I was easing into that. I got a lot of trouble. They had secured for our town. Come out and talk to me. All right. Sorry about that. You missed your first One shot and our fort really sucked. It wasn't very good. Of course it did. You were children building things. You're all morons. Paul is online. Paul, are you there? Yeah. All right. Paul, are you a longtime listener? Yes. All right, so you might know some of these. All right, let's see what we've got here. This asshole pretended to accidentally spill a drink, a hot drink, on a guy in a wheelchair because the guy was being a jerk, teasing the asshole's clothing. The asshole couldn't fight back, so he intentionally, slash, accidentally poured hot coffee on him. An asshole, I would say. Eric. Incorrect. That one is me. I did that at Tony Roma's. Way worse than the last. I did that at Tony Roma's once when a guy in a wheelchair was making fun of my shabby outfit and I got tired of it, so I spilled hot coffee on his useless legs.
John Holmberg
Your outfit?
Brady Bogan
No, he wasn't that bad. I would have poured it on his computer then and just rendered him useless completely. All right. Sorry about that, Paul. Nice try. Paul's out. Let's go to Grayson. Grayson as a champion. If I recall, Grayson is the king of disgusting videos.
John Holmberg
Video champ.
Brady Bogan
Grayson, you know our tendencies. You possibly could. Yeah, I'm on the younger side, so I haven't listened for as long as most people, but. All right, you might have picked up a couple of these stories. Let's try this one here. I'm gonna get a story here, though. Wow. I got a lot of stories. A lot of stories. Boys. What's going on?
John Holmberg
Confession time.
Brady Bogan
My God. All right, pouring out. Don't make me your shrink now. All right, here we go. In his 20s, this once pissed in a friend's closet after a long night of drinking and tried to blame it on the girl he'd brought home with him. The friend had to take money out of the deposit for the apartment to clean up the money mess. I'm gonna go with Big Dick Toledo. Big Dick Toledo is correct. He is the who urinated on somebody else's stuff.
John Holmberg
I'm proud of you for that one.
Brady Bogan
That's a good one. Yeah. That's good. All right, story number two. We're on a roll. I took a class in college or this. Took a class in college that my friends had all the tests for. I got an A in the class and attended only a couple of days for tests only. I'm gonna go with Bogan Brady. Bogan is correct for the win. Grayson. This asshole once flattened a co worker's tires because if the co worker was late one More time, he'd get fired. And this would get a better job. That has to be Eric. Incorrect. That's me again.
John Holmberg
Come on. You know, Furthering his career. I didn't have enough.
Brady Bogan
Are you kidding me? For more money, I knew where the guy lived. Who was this person? I can't say who it was, but I do know we were both up for the same assistant manager's position at Tony Romas. He had a little tardiness problem, so me and my friend Grant flattened his tire base.
John Holmberg
Career training at Tony Romas.
Brady Bogan
This is a great place. Sorry about that, Grayson. You were very close to naming the proper assholes. Man, that is a rough one. That's so bad. Nothing, man. A couple of these other ones. I've been writing them. I need a shrink. Brandon, are you there? Yes, sir. Are you ready, Brandon? Yeah. This asshole got a bloody nose all over the second girl he ever had sex with and left the scene of the crime while she slept, never to contact her again. Wow. Oh, these. Homeward. Incorrect. I would never. I would have sat back and blamed her for having a bad period. I would have never taken her blame for that. Nice try. No, it's Toledo. That's a Toledo story. Sorry about that, Brandon.
John Holmberg
It's got all sorts of leaking going on.
Brady Bogan
Well, that makes sense. All those medical conditions. That's true. Josh is online, too. Josh, are you there? Yes. All right. Good luck, Josh. What are you here to play? I don't know what the game is. How about just when I say, what are you here to do? Just say, I'm gonna name some. I'm gonna name some. All right, here we go. It's our first time playing in third grade. This hid Todd Beck's giant stack of new lunch tickets. Probably about $40 worth. Because Todd didn't give him a valentine and he beat him in a game of around the World later. That's gotta be. Let's see. Home bird. Incorrect. What do I want a valentine from Todd Beck for?
John Holmberg
Lunch tickets.
Brady Bogan
Why would I have lunch tickets? I don't know. I had my lunches catered. Yeah, why would anyone tell that story? Toledo had to have. Toledo's the kid with the government cheese lunches.
John Holmberg
Is that an early man crush?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. What was that about? Todd's gay. Andy didn't give you a valentine. That's double insulting. You were mad. He wasn't even attracted to you when he was figuring it out. Why would you be mad about Josh? Nice. Nice try. Sorry about that. Yeah, why would you be upset that a boy didn't Give you a balance.
John Holmberg
Third grade. It was a transition year.
Brady Bogan
They wanted everybody to love him. I like Name this. Sadly, this game can only be played, like, once. Unless we keep. We have to amp up our. We'll figure it out. We have more stories. Timo is there. Are you there, sir? Yeah, I'm here. Is it Timo or Timo? Timo. Timo. All right. You ready, Timo? Yeah, I'm here. A place that this asshole worked was going out of business when this asshole was 18 and he didn't have much money, so he thought it would be a good idea to steal as much beer and alcohol as possible before the place shut down. A bottle here, a case there. Before the asshole knew it, I had a house full of liquor. Then the asshole had a huge party and charged people to get in. I'm gonna say Eric. Eric is correct. It's alcohol related.
John Holmberg
Yeah, good deduct.
Brady Bogan
Now, if it was a big apple juice store that was going out of business. All right, here we go. I gotta go this way. In this asshole's senior year, he helped steal the popular senior girls panties so we could display them in a glass showcase in the middle of the high school main concourse. I would say Toledo. Toledo is incorrect. Ready for this? That's Brady. Brady. Brady stole a girl's panties and displayed.
John Holmberg
Them and probably got five pairs and then they. They put them in the showcase and they had little notes on of whose panties they were.
Brady Bogan
Now that is bullying right there. Sorry about that, Tina. You are. Thanks. He was enjoying the crap out of that picture. And Brady thumbing through some girl's underpants drawer. Hurry up. Yeah. So sweet. You crushed that girl. That's terrible.
John Holmberg
More than one, I bet.
Brady Bogan
Wow. Mario, are you there? Yes, I am. Are you ready, Mario? Yes, I. Yes, I am. All right, here we go. What are you here to do? Name some. That's right. One time, this put a pile of leaves in the middle of the road, which covered a board with nails on it. And then watched an old woman running over it and giving her a flat tire. Oh, man, that sounds so much like you. It could be. Also, Eric, I think it was you. Incorrect again, Brady. No way.
John Holmberg
That's Brady, fourth grade. We used to make giant piles of leaves.
Brady Bogan
Unbelievable.
John Holmberg
And we'd hide in the piles of leaves on the side of the road before they. And we're putting stuff in the streets for cars to run over because we thought that was hilarious.
Brady Bogan
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
Puts this board in there, lady runs over. What was that?
Brady Bogan
Did you ever get caught?
John Holmberg
Nope.
Brady Bogan
Nope. Till now, you know, we should just change this game to confession. Wednesday we read one or two stories. You have to guess which one it is, because I've. Now that reminds me of another thing I used to do. But it never flat anyone's tire.
John Holmberg
Well, it had to. I didn't. The tire wasn't flat at the time. But I'll be like, there's no way.
Brady Bogan
Sorry, Mario.
John Holmberg
She ran over it.
Brady Bogan
I'll try another. We'll go live here. Hi there. Who's this? Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. A woman. Intuition can play a part here. You're supposedly good with this, right? I've got a few. Right. Brady surprised me. Yeah, Brady will shock you. All right, here we go. This asshole was gonna buy his girlfriend a television for her birthday. And when the asshole told a friend of his plan, the friend said, I can get you a deal. Always up for a deal. This asshole got the TV for $80. When normally it was about 600 bucks. Well, it turns out the TV was stolen. And the person who fenced it was the friend. Weeks later, the TV needed to be returned as the original thief was coming clean. So this asshole broke into his own girlfriend's apartment, stole the television, and she blamed the roommate. A 15 year friendship died. The asshole never said a word. Toledo. Toledo is incorrect.
John Holmberg
Sneaky Pete.
Brady Bogan
Me again. That's a john.
John Holmberg
One devious man.
Brady Bogan
Grant stole TVs. I didn't know. Sorry. Wonder Woman. And his brother was stealing them and he was fencing them. And so he offered. I didn't know it was stolen at first. And then I got it and I set it up at her apartment. Like, how about this, huh? Nice television. And then he wanted them back because his brother was coming clean with some sort of AA thing. So I busted in there because I had an ability to get in. I took the TV and she blamed a roommate. She's like, only thing's missing is the tv. Well, who would just come in and steal the tv? I'm like, yeah, sabotage. She knows something. I bet you it was her stupid boyfriend. They ended up not being roommates or friends at all. What I'm learning from this game is that any one of our lives could have really gone sideways.
John Holmberg
But you've changed.
Brady Bogan
No, not really. I'd do it again. I'm not going to jail for any stolen television. We all could have been in so much. Yeah, I was going to get implicated in that if I didn't get the TV back. It's out of control now. 98k, you PD cease and desist at once. The rest of home Bird's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. Gotta. I gotta say, thanks to my friends over at Legends Auto Collision. They're gonna do some stuff to my Jeep. So I had to get my Jeep. I didn't take my Jeep to him yet, but they have free loaner cars, and they proved it to me yesterday. And I said, well, I'm gonna have a potential little trip this week. And, like, let me get you a loaner car. It's like, okay. So I got this Ford Mustang I can't see out of at all. Ford Mustang is a sweet car, but the side mirrors have two mirrors each.
John Holmberg
Oh, the split.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. But at night, when you're not used to that, there's like, 17 lights in your mirror, and you're like, ah, there's cars landing on me because you don't understand that. The ones up. Yeah, the ones up in the left corner. Yeah. I needed Bumblebee. That was a Dodge Challenger, wasn't it? Or is that a Charger or. It was a Camaro. Camaro, yeah. No, this thing's got little lights or little mirrors above your big mirrors on the side. So I'm driving, like, it. This thing's got an insane amount of power. It's the big engine, and I'm going, like, 35 miles an hour because in the dark, I can't. There's too many lights. It looks like a Christmas tree is stuck on each side.
John Holmberg
A dragonfly if.
Brady Bogan
Unless. Unless I'm only. If I'm positive. Only one other car, but with all these, like. Yeah, it looks like the little baby mirror. I still don't know how to use.
John Holmberg
Mothra's behind you, but it grabs the.
Brady Bogan
Car'S way back and sticks them on your mirror. So now you got, like, 17 sets of lights in the corner and a set in the big mirror. Like, that's because it gives you two. I don't know how to work it yet, but. So the thing is, I had to take Megan with me this morning to come get the Jeep, which was still in the parking lot here. So she goes to back out my Jeep from its spot, and I'm waiting to put the Mustang into that spot, and she's climbing a curb. She almost hits this big satellite dish, and I'm like, it's a simple backup. Go forward, back. I didn't want to hit you because I called her. I'm like, what was that? And she had the nerve. As she's pulling out, she rams the. She's dragging the tires on the curb. Climbs the curb, goes back down onto the earth, climbs it again, almost hits the wall. And I'm just sitting there like nobody else is moving in this parking lot but you. And you've hit five things. She rolls the window down. Thanks for no gas. There's a quarter tank. Where you going, Payson? What do you got? Like big plants or going home? You'll be fine on a quarter tank. And so I called her. I'm like, what? You had the nerve to call and bitch at me about no gas after you just hit six or seven things in the parking lot on your way out? I didn't want to run into you, so why not hit everything else in the parking lot? Sure, that's a great idea. Tires are all. We're in a big dilemma, me and her, with this.
John Holmberg
She avoided my truck. That was nice.
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, barely. Brady. If it wasn't for the curb, she'd have backed the back end of it, right? I don't know how she did it, but she's in this. I don't know. We gotta get a shock collar or some sort of training device on her. Because she started to become a side seat driver to the point it's just impossible. I had to pull over the other day and tell her, that's it. I'm either gonna ask you to get out of the car or shut the f up. She's grabbing. She's grabbing my arm. Trouble in paradise While I'm driving, she's grabbing my arm.
John Holmberg
How did women think that?
Brady Bogan
That is any kind of. No idea.
John Holmberg
Help.
Brady Bogan
I was sitting at an intersection at a thing. I see a car coming. I'm like, I got that. Look to my right. Nothing coming. I'm like, I got this. It's gonna be. I gotta zip it. But I got it from the passenger seat. Grabs my arm and I stop. Now I'm in the middle of the road, like, what? What did I miss? Because I thought it was gonna hit something else. Clearly I had this under control. A car was so close. I'm like, now look, we're in the middle of the intersection. Stop. Because you freaked the f out. Like I was gonna kill people. And now this car has to stop, too. You. Her mind starts racing, and I'm just sitting there like, I can't believe you did that. Don't touch the driver. Period. Get to the parking lot at the next place, go to park. It's a little tight, so I straighten out this to make it right. And there's a car going by in the parking lot. I see it I'm going one. So I back up a little bit, hit the brake. What? Have you seen that car? Yes. We were going a mile an hour. We're fine. Then I just stopped. I said, that's it. Either you're walking home, or we have an agreement. From here on out, there's no more of that noise from the passenger seat. Because when that happens, it sounds imminent. It sounds like we're hitting it, doesn't it? It doesn't sound like there's about to be something wrong. It sounds like there is something currently and immediately wrong.
John Holmberg
But why do you get that early warning on that? So early, but yet when you miss a turn, wait until you miss it and then tell you.
Brady Bogan
Or when you're like, I need a gas station. I don't know this neighborhood very. There's one there. All right, we're in the far right lane. Quit pointing to stuff over there. I can't immediately make that left turn from the. There's one right over there. All right, first off, that's six lanes. I'd have to cross to get to that. So I can't take the seven lanes. And if I make that move, you're gonna grab my arm anyway.
John Holmberg
Does this rule exist for the significant other, the wife? But I get a little worked up. Like, if I'm driving with you and I'm in the passenger seat and I reach over and change the station or change the. That. That's like. You don't do that, right?
Brady Bogan
No, that's the driver.
John Holmberg
Driver.
Brady Bogan
That's the driver stuff.
John Holmberg
I've been trying to tell Ronnie that rule, and she's been. I'm like, listen, none of this belongs to you right now, General.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
If you're driving, you're in charge of climate control and the volume of the music.
Brady Bogan
Fiddle with something in the glove box. That's your thing. Yeah. It's all aimed at the driver for a reason. Yes.
John Holmberg
It's unbelievable.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. They touch stuff. And you're the. And they don't ever want to drive, so you want to be the passenger. You sit back, but shut up. And Megan, every time I'm in this Mustang, it makes a ton of noise. I'm going 40 miles an hour on the freeway because I can't see. Now, don't drive all crazy. Every time I hit the gas, it goes. Makes this noise. All right, all right, all right. Look, I have to touch the gas pedal to go forward. It just growls. Okay, stop, stop. So on the ramp, getting on the freeway, I'm like, that's enough. Just Gunned it. That thing got up to, like 90 miles an hour before I got off the ramp. It's a fast car. I can't see out of it at all. I might as well be Mr. Magoo in that thing. But. Yeah, something about that something. But. And guys do it, too. But the side seat driving, the passenger driving. Stop it. If it was a Batmobile and Robin had the wheel sometimes. Remember when Robin would occasionally have a wheel and they had two wheels in the Batmobile? I don't know how that drivetrain worked.
John Holmberg
Would ask. I need help.
Brady Bogan
Right. But do you remember that wheel that Robin could occasionally put together, take over, and he could drive from the passenger seat? Yeah. Yeah. When you drive from the passenger seat. Well, in case you got a fight on the. On the hood or something. Well, right. Well, Batman had other stuff to do. And Robin's like, all right, take the wheel. But they didn't do the switcheroo. They just had a second wheel. Cause that thing was ridiculous. But yeah. Unless you've got a wheel in front of you and you're in the Batmobile. Ladies, shut up. If we get into a wreck, it's my fault. You can bitch at me after that. But don't cause the wreck. And don't touch the driver and don't touch the driver's radio. Just sit there and be quiet. Christ on a crutch. We have to listen to your nonsense when we're not mobile now. It's dangerous. Yeah. We're in a battle with that. I don't know how to train somebody out of that because it's getting worse, not getting better. And then texts me, yesterday, my mom's a terrible driver. I'm like, what are you. When did you get your light license from the DMV to judge everyone's skills? And then this morning, the display of bashing into the curb the entire time. And like, really, you're never allowed to say another thing ever about how I drive.
John Holmberg
But that could go, you know, similar to, like, coaching. You know, sometimes the best coaches aren't. Weren't the best players.
Brady Bogan
Well, she's not the best driver. That's for darn sure.
John Holmberg
Maybe she's good at.
Brady Bogan
Maybe she's the Pat Riley of driving because she's not getting a ring play. And that's for sure. Yeah, it's amazing. But ladies. Yeah, the noise is the thing. The. That's gotta stop. What? That's imminent danger. That's. I'm being shot at. That's not. Just. There could be a problem. So stop it. Or just keep your head down. Do like a good Muslim woman. You know, keep your head down, stare at the floor and shut up while we're driving, please. Maybe that's what you should get her. I should. I should get a beekeeper. I'll get a beekeeper suit, just like a good Muslim. And I'll just sit. Point your face at the earth if I get into a crash. You can bitch later. But I think she thinks that I just aimlessly drive around town and somehow or another manage to find my way home every day. It's like I don't know how I've done it without killing 30 or 40 people. Now, this is our exit. Really, Megan? Do you think I needed that? Do you really? We get off on this. This is our exit to go home. That's our street. Because I was just gonna keep going until the beacon went off. Shut up. Face down. I have to stare at the floor in the car because I get too.
John Holmberg
Mousy every now and then. I come in a little hot. Stopping the car in the front. One in front. Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
You're gonna.
John Holmberg
You're gonna hit him.
Brady Bogan
Yep. But I'm not.
John Holmberg
It drives me crazy. I've gotten the leg squeeze a few times.
Brady Bogan
Don't touch the driver. What are you doing?
John Holmberg
First of all, that's my brake leg.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's what I'm using. Currently in use. Don't.
John Holmberg
Don't disable it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, don't try to pinch off the one. You might get lucky once and hit that thing that gives me dead foot. Rip your quad out and then I.
John Holmberg
Get the under breath.
Brady Bogan
Oh, God.
John Holmberg
Oh, God. Why you're not religious?
Brady Bogan
Isn't nascar. We're not going that fast. Oh, you drive me nuts. Now shut up. If you're the passenger, man, woman, child. Shut up. Out of control. Now you just gave me my reach around. Here's another best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's time now for the Brady Report. All the news that only Brady knows. And it's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio shade. We're in Arizona and you got to have shade if you have an outdoor space. That's the new thing about real estate, by the way, as your indoor outdoor living. Your outdoor stuff should be livable space now. So if you got shade out there, it's awesome. All Pro Shade concepts. 20 years in the valley, they got Brady's house all hooked up with awnings and roll down patio shades and things like that. They can do that for you. As well. It creates 20 plus feet of shade and they block out all that stuff. You can have a TV under your back patio without worrying about the glare. All pro shade concepts. Thank you for sponsoring the Brady Report. Brady Report.
John Holmberg
A couple of basis fun facts. The dashboard touch screens in most modern cars can run up to 14 times more code than a Boeing 787, man.
Brady Bogan
But it can't do half the stuff. Launch me, man. If I got that kind of technology. Let's get these wings on it.
John Holmberg
Can it keep the wheels on the Boeing planes?
Brady Bogan
Did you see that one? Oh, I was watching air disasters and they had a thing where wheels fell off. Pilots do an amazing job of that one. Dude just got disoriented, taken off, looked over at his co pilot. He goes, something feels wrong. And he just drove it off the Runway and dipped it and blew everybody up in like Bangladesh or something. I realized purpose, like, no, he just got confused, screwed up, thought the instruments were lying to him. It's that spatial disorientation. And usually it happens in the air. He had something going on in his head and his equilibrium went off the second they started to lift. He goes, this isn't right. And he just spun it.
John Holmberg
No time to recover.
Brady Bogan
Wing just goes tip into the ground and he's done. I realized watching air disasters, what an incredible American I am. And I don't say that in a good way like, Brett. Same way, he's a good American. When I see like planes in other countries, I just assume they're still running propellers and like, the windows are rolled down. I'm guilty of that. Like, and they say, you know, an African Airlines plane, I'm like, what? They have the same ones we Ethiopian Airlines. I just, I don't ever picture them to have travel or vacations or anything. Anything.
John Holmberg
And if you do, you don't picture.
Brady Bogan
The inside like ours. No, no, no, no. They did one with a Russian. Oh, this was a great one. I can't get enough of the show. The Russians broke out their cruddy plane and they bought over a bunch of big wigs and stuff. Like, we, we're not known for our awesome luxury planes, but we just put this beast together. You guys are going to love it. And the inside of this thing was as high tech looking as you can see. The pilot stuff wasn't a bunch of instruments. It was just, it was like a lab laptop, a nice little room, couple switches, couple buttons, a joystick. The guy from another company that was. They were looking to buy these planes from Russia. Russia was trying to get into the world of building planes. And they, they get out there and they're like, we're gonna fly these 36 VIPs around a little bit. Everything's gonna be great. Everybody's like, this thing's incredible. Inside the plane, they have these beautiful feature art things. It's not even a private plane. It's a full on passenger plane.
John Holmberg
See, it's the interior of like a cruise ship.
Brady Bogan
No, it was, it was nice. It was just upgraded to what we're used to. Like those Americans and their silly little pack amends, you know, it was mostly just like normal first class seats. Big every flying. The pilot's kind of cocky and he's been flying this thing around for a while. And he turns to the guy and he goes, we'll just do a loop around request. A360 is going to show these guys what this bird can do. And he gets into a little weather and there's this. It was one of the first Russian planes that had this system that you get used to it when you watch air disasters, that the plane goes, terrain, pull up. Terrain, pull up. And you start getting used to that noise. And he's looking, he goes, this is the TEMU system. It tells you when the terrain's coming. And it's like really good. It's got like all the sonar and radar can't miss. And as he's telling him, he's starting to turn and he looks and the thing goes, terrain, pull up. And he goes, well, that's not supposed to. Right into the side of the mountain.
John Holmberg
Oh, game over.
Brady Bogan
Game over. Like, whoops, we're not gonna buy this plane.
John Holmberg
He gone.
Brady Bogan
But right before that, on the, on the recorder, you hear the guy who's from China looking to buy a bunch of planes going, very impressive. And then they're in a mountainside. I became an American that moment because I laughed hysterically because it was Russians and Chinese. Like, what an asshole I am. But I don't, I don't normally laugh at the plane crash. That one had me in stitches. And when that Chinese guy's hanging out of the front of the one I told you about the other day. But when it's Americans, I'm like, this is terrible.
John Holmberg
Brett, you can sign up now to win some at when this new beer flavor, pizza flavored beer, it arrives next month. Voodoo Ranger dot com.
Brady Bogan
Good stuff.
John Holmberg
We'll start selling it in select markets on April 7th for National Beer Day. Each four pack will cost you 50 bucks.
Brady Bogan
Voodoo Ranger is good. It is. But man, I don't know about pizza. I don't care about beer pizza. I like my pizza to be flavored like pizza. My beer to be flavored like beer.
John Holmberg
In other pizza news, Chick Fil a is dipping its toe in.
Brady Bogan
That's the first news cats ever heard. In other pizza news, they open, they.
John Holmberg
Spin off restaurant in Maryland.
Brady Bogan
Shut up, Ralphie Maybach. For more pizza news. Shut. You tell a Brady. Don't let Brett laughing at this be a deterrent to all that pizza news. You've seen America. Big fat pigs. They all want their pizza news.
John Holmberg
Chick Fil a opened up a spin off restaurant in Maryland last fall called Little Blue Menu Frank where they test new menu items. They just added five pizzas, including. Including a chick Fil A pizza pie topped with chicken nugs, pickles, and chick Fil A sauce.
Brady Bogan
Okay, I'm gonna not allow that anymore. We can't make chicken nuggets.
John Holmberg
Chicken nuggets?
Brady Bogan
No. That is annoying.
John Holmberg
All right, I'll go full nugget then.
Brady Bogan
Just chicken nuggets. Chicken nugget. The cuter you make food, the bigger your problem gets. And by your problem, I mean you.
John Holmberg
Hold on, John.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You're telling me that those planes in India do not take off with a bunch of people piled up on top?
Brady Bogan
Well, I'm not saying that they don't consider that a disaster. That's just. That's just a 1245. That's the 1245 to Mumbai.
John Holmberg
A high school in Albuquerque, New Mexico is dealing with a lawsuit after a chemistry teacher thought having actual sword fights was a good idea. It happened in 2022, but the civil suit is. Was just filed.
Brady Bogan
Did a kid die?
John Holmberg
Well, it started out she was doing a lesson on metal and melding, and this girl brought in actual swords to class. One was a European style rapier, and the other was a samurai sword. So the teacher then had them rearrange their desks into a fighting ring, started a timer and had kids battle it out for two minutes with this girl's, like, collector swords.
Brady Bogan
Her dad had to be furious. She took him out of his dojo and.
John Holmberg
Or got permission.
Brady Bogan
They started using them.
John Holmberg
Well, they got into Russo.
Brady Bogan
It was okay.
John Holmberg
Yeah, the 16 year old ended up with a serious gash in her right wrist.
Brady Bogan
You know, that's funny, Brady.
John Holmberg
That's way better.
Brady Bogan
Stuck that rapier right in the gas. You know what I mean?
John Holmberg
It settled multiple nerves and tendons.
Brady Bogan
That's terrible.
John Holmberg
She said it was a nasty gash.
Brady Bogan
And she had nothing worse.
John Holmberg
In the video, the teacher yelled I'm in trouble. Oh, yeah. Delete all your videos if you're taking any phone videos, but. Too late. There is one.
Brady Bogan
Well, it doesn't even matter if there's a phone video. You got a kid with an arm hanging off from the rapier wound in your classroom. Yeah, just a flesh wound. Yeah, you're in trouble. That's bad. Don't. Yeah. Sword fights in class.
John Holmberg
I'm surprised you know they had masks on. Of course you had no stabbing at the head. All right, but if you're.
Brady Bogan
Wait. She had masks prepared. Hold on. She had masks at the ready in case sword showed up.
John Holmberg
Stuff.
Brady Bogan
You were. She was. She was prepared for a sword fight. And if someone ever did bring swords.
John Holmberg
Maybe I was seeing something.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's my guess.
John Holmberg
No, I could have been.
Brady Bogan
I'm going to go down. I'm going to go down the route that Brady's making it up.
John Holmberg
I could have been halluci.
Brady Bogan
Hallucinating. I don't know what your current prescription is, but it needs to be up.
John Holmberg
No, it is. Cuz the first time, I said it was fine.
Brady Bogan
Second time, defend it. You gotta knock words out every time. I got it right the first time so I can screw it up from here on out.
John Holmberg
There we are. They were pixelated.
Brady Bogan
Their faces were.
John Holmberg
Yeah, their heads were pixelated. Yeah, I. I saw. Briefly. I thought they were wearing fencing helmets.
Brady Bogan
I thought they just had Japanese dicks on their heads. They're pixelated. Oh, this is the fight itself. Huh? Oh, geez. There's science news still going on. Oh, this is the plaintiff's attorney.
C
In her dominant hand, she can't move her thumb or her wrist.
Brady Bogan
She's paralyzed in her hand.
C
According to the lawsuit, this is legit.
Brady Bogan
They have a big room.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
After the teacher, Mitchell, big timer, too. Brought two swords telling students they were props. Okay, so the teacher brought the sword. Samurai sword. The other, a sword used for fencing. Mitchell told the students to move the desks, set a timer for two minutes, and encouraged them to fight.
John Holmberg
The lawsuit claims when a sophomore girl went up for her turn, slashed her wrist.
Brady Bogan
She's 20.
John Holmberg
Mitchell reportedly said, I'm in trouble, and.
Brady Bogan
Ordered the students to delete any video sitting back watching kids sword fight. Red for Ed. I say the streets will flow with the redfer. Ed. Yep. I. I'd have the kids try to kill each other, too, if I was getting paid $28,000 to babysit your rats for eight hours a day.
John Holmberg
Three boys robbed a Wells Fargo bank in Houston last Thursday during their spring break. According to the FBI. Their ages were 11, 12 and 16. They're calling them the little Rascals. They passed a threatening note to a teller.
Brady Bogan
Don't.
John Holmberg
Were given some amount of money and ran off on foot until the police nabbed him. It's unclear if they were armed since they didn't produce a weapon during the robbery, but police say they think they.
Brady Bogan
Were and they found them in the.
John Holmberg
So they're looking at a second degree felony.
Brady Bogan
Went back to the he man woman haters society and found all the loot.
John Holmberg
Beat the the crap out of Darla.
Brady Bogan
That's right. Froggy was there. And Buckwheat, although we can't really put the blame on him. That's wrong.
John Holmberg
A Houston news station conducted a poll asking whether the parents should be charged in crimes like these.
Brady Bogan
Give us Abba Yuma money. Let me handle it. Buckwheat.
John Holmberg
60% of the people in the poll said, yeah, the parents should be charged.
Brady Bogan
Absolutely. It's their fault.
John Holmberg
11 said no.
Brady Bogan
Nope. You know why? Because they get dumb kids. There's 11% of them that know that their kids can get them into that pickle. They don't want that law passed. Parents should most definitely go to some sort of jail when their kids are felonious at age 12. Yep. Their fault. Your kids on drugs, your fault. Your kids robbing banks, your fault. You know who I know this. Talk to every therapist. All they do is tell you it's your parents fault. It's your parents fault. It's your parents fault. You did it. Whatever you did. It's your fault. Your kids are. Your little apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They say that's because you're the tree. Your fault. If Kirby robbed a bank today, it'd be like, what'd you do wrong? Nothing. We were. Nope, you did something wrong. You should sit. You should sit out for a year and think about it.
John Holmberg
Ain't my problem.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it would be. Oh, it'd be a big problem. Horrible.
John Holmberg
But I don't see why I would be charged for that.
Brady Bogan
You're responsible for her. You know what? It's the same thing if you have a party and somebody drinks too much and leaves your house and kills someone. It's your fault. They're going to jail too. But so are you. No different. You're responsible for. You were responsible for whoever was in your house.
John Holmberg
Think about the amount of time spring breaks where you're just. If you didn't go anywhere, you're sitting around with some friends.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You could. There's a choice. You could make some bad judgment calls. Let's go rob a bank.
Brady Bogan
Right.
John Holmberg
That's parents fault.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Sitting around on.
Brady Bogan
Because you know what good parents would do?
John Holmberg
Opportunity. I never did it.
Brady Bogan
You never had an opportunity to rob a bank and I guarantee you.
John Holmberg
Oh, sitting around like I could have made that choice. I did. I knew better.
Brady Bogan
Well, there you go. That new parenting.
John Holmberg
But I don't blame my parents.
Brady Bogan
Your mom. You are giving your parents credit. Yeah.
John Holmberg
There you go. God gets all.
Brady Bogan
No. God gets. No. So God caused them to rob the bank then? No. Why didn't they turn their cheek? Oh God, exactly. No. You're giving your parents credit. So then God should go to jail. Yeah. You're into that.
John Holmberg
The parents were doing that.
Brady Bogan
They weren't. Clearly.
John Holmberg
I mean, you could have really good parents. You're saying a kid that is on drugs is because of the.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, exactly. You're. I agree with that, Brady. I think you're right. And also if your kids. If your kids are 12 and on drugs, it's because you did something. Something terribly wrong. They weren't doing a bang up job. And if your kid robs a bank, you're not doing your job. Right. Because you know what you didn't do? You didn't wander in and go. Your friends are. And they're not allowed in my house anymore. You're letting them hang out with bad people and parents always. That's bad.
John Holmberg
11, 12 and 16.
Brady Bogan
Yep.
John Holmberg
Told Alex that. I'm like, hey, Landon's a funny dude. I know you like him a lot. Landon's gonna get you in trouble.
Brady Bogan
Yep. My dad stopped me from hanging out from several people and three of them are dead. And one of them was almost in jail. Wait a minute.
John Holmberg
You're three for seven on dead people.
Brady Bogan
There were three guys that died. Two of them within a year of each other. Another one about 15 years later. But they're all. And then one of the guys was almost in jail. That's a bad percentage to be your friend. My dad saw him playing baseball in our cul de sac. That one and that one are no good. Like what? You could see it. I knew. Do all those kids with long hair and no shirt on in the 80s. They're in jail now.
John Holmberg
Brady, how come your goddamn God doesn't.
Brady Bogan
Take any blame, right? Yeah. It's all roses with this guy.
John Holmberg
There's plenty of people that blame him.
Brady Bogan
I do. I don't think he's real.
John Holmberg
And now it's time for some science news.
Brady Bogan
Hurry up. Brett's got to go. We gotta go. This is your science news, by the way. Again. What are you doing? If Kirby robs a bank, I'm gonna look at you and go fail. Completely failed. I did the best I could. Wasn't enough, I guess. Your best wasn't good enough.
John Holmberg
Like if you're a chemistry major and you miss an important day and you fail that part of the test, that's the. That's on you. Or is that on the teacher for not teaching? It's the parents.
Brady Bogan
I think so too. Why didn't you go to school? Parents take responsibility.
John Holmberg
I'm kidding. It's not.
Brady Bogan
It's 100. The parents. If your kid.
John Holmberg
Him getting.
Brady Bogan
If your kid fails chemistry, it's your fault too. Yep. You're not paying attention. They give progress reports. They call every five minutes. If your kid fails anything, it's your fault for not caring.
John Holmberg
Paying attention.
Brady Bogan
That's what I just said.
John Holmberg
That's. No, but I'm saying when it comes down to it, yeah. She's got to do the work.
Brady Bogan
Right. And maybe she's.
John Holmberg
I let her know, just like your dad said. You're going to graduate.
Brady Bogan
Make sure she does. You're not.
John Holmberg
You're going to hear from me.
Brady Bogan
What did you just say? You just. You just proved my point. My dad said, foot's going up your ass if you don't get it together right now. Guess what? I did.
John Holmberg
But if you didn't graduate high school.
Brady Bogan
I would be dead.
John Holmberg
You'd blame it on your dad?
Brady Bogan
Absolutely. For not caring. If he hadn't done that, I wouldn't have done it.
John Holmberg
Well, no. If he said that and you still didn't do it.
Brady Bogan
Oh, no. Because there would have been repercussions. No, no.
John Holmberg
Your dad tells you don't do drugs and you went out and you started doing drugs.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, and then I'm still. Your dad's hot doing everything else. Yeah, because he wasn't paying enough attention to me. I'm out drifting around, smoking, smoking weed and doing coke and all that. Well, it should have kept his tighter leash from. If he's worried about me being on drugs, he should. He should have not let me be so free. There's some responsibility with parenting. It was a little bit your fault. I'm not saying you're 100% the kid has still do it. But there is response parent. That's why parents feel guilt when their kids do terrible things because they know they're a little responsible for it.
John Holmberg
I mean, you tell them all the time not to do things, right? Like that like, you don't rob a bank. Parents should not be charged because the kids.
Brady Bogan
Yes, they should.
John Holmberg
Let's go rob a bank.
Brady Bogan
Yes, they should. Brady, if I said don't jerk off anymore. Don't jerk off anymore. When you jerk off and I'm responsible for you not jerking off all the time, it's my fault for not keeping a tighter eye on that. If I just say it like I did my part, that's just lazy parents.
John Holmberg
Of that school shooter in Michigan got charged.
Brady Bogan
Basically, mom got convicted. Just saying don't rob a bank is like, well, my part here is done. And then the kid goes off and robs a bank because you're not paying attention. And it's part your fault for just being like, well, I did all I could. If you're worried about your kid robbing a bank and the best you can do is don't rob banks, you're not doing your job, by the way, you shouldn't have to tell your kids, don't rob banks, you're doing a bad job if you get to that point.
John Holmberg
I just mentioned her. Her name's Jennifer Crumley, the mother of the school shooter in Michigan. She was charged with a felony. And, oh, and also the mother was a swinger and that's why the jury found her guilty, because she was being negligent. That always had swingers parties and not parenting at the time. Her son knew about it and was affected by it.
Brady Bogan
Everything's your parents fault. Everything. And all the glory is theirs too. Like if you do good things, they're responsible for that too.
John Holmberg
So Brady, your shape is not due to heredity. It's due to the fact that your parents didn't tell you not to eat too much.
Brady Bogan
It's their fault.
John Holmberg
My mom says that. Yeah, it's her fault.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, See, she feels good.
John Holmberg
No, it's not.
Brady Bogan
Yes, it is. She started you in the habit.
John Holmberg
Yeah, there's nothing. What do you. Why? What's your fault? I'm perfect.
Brady Bogan
Stories getting deeper and deeper as we go. I listened to Tom Petty's you got lucky the other day and I thought, that's another one you should think, because it's all about. Yeah, you got lucky, babe. I found you. All right?
John Holmberg
A study found that it, it's theoretically, theoretically possible to create an even harder material than diamonds, which now they're calling super diamonds. Guys, you're in trouble. New bling on the way. So John, you gotta, you gotta blame Dan that you don't know how to.
Brady Bogan
Change a goddamn windshield wiper completely his fault. He wouldn't let me touch any of the stuff he was so.
John Holmberg
He was holding the flashlight.
Brady Bogan
I was always just the flashlight kid. I don't know how to do anything. And it's his fault. This guy says, why is Toledo such a douche? Who's to blame? The lack of a father. Well, probably Morris. Yeah, that guy was your influence.
John Holmberg
The night sky could gain a new star in the next few months. Coming out of nowhere. No, it's not. It's actually two stars that orbit each other and they're usually too dim to see, but every 79 years or so, there's a nova outburst.
Brady Bogan
Cool.
John Holmberg
Makes them brighter than the North Star. It could happen between now and September. So watch every night.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Stare at the sky if you get nothing better to do.
John Holmberg
But again, to go back to your thing. It didn't just happen overnight.
Brady Bogan
It's been. It's done millions of.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brady Bogan
Crazy part is we're just now seeing right.
John Holmberg
It's burnt out.
Brady Bogan
Or watch your kids instead. Or you know what. Yeah. That kid of yours is about to rob a bank. Maybe kidding. Maybe take your eyes from stars. Yeah, look. Neil DeGrasse. Dumbass. You should probably take a look at that. That smoking all the weed in your house.
John Holmberg
Thanks, Holmberg. 14 years. Haven't been worried about my kid robbing a bank.
Brady Bogan
I am today. Yep. Yeah. Well, good. That's. I'm a parenting tool.
John Holmberg
SpaceX test for the new emergency slide for astronauts. You see this?
Brady Bogan
No.
John Holmberg
It's like the ones on airplanes, but much longer.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, all the way, I would hope.
John Holmberg
It's a launch pad.
Brady Bogan
Oh. Oh, I thought it was up in space.
John Holmberg
No, from the space station, basically. It's not for the space station. The launch pad. It's probably however tall that is. 80, 90ft.
Brady Bogan
You don't have time for that.
John Holmberg
Feet five inches.
Brady Bogan
If a slide shoots out of the side of a rocket midway through launch, you're. You're gonna just dive into fire.
John Holmberg
A study found that even just smelling fruit might help prevent cancer and other diseases.
Brady Bogan
Smelling fruit?
John Holmberg
Yeah. They said the aroma coming from sniffing certain scents like fruit creates a reaction, a molecular reaction to your genes that can help treat the cells react to it. And it helps prevent cancer.
Brady Bogan
I don't like that you're not reading this. I don't. I don't like that you're just telling me this. I don't buy it. You're missing something, Professor Brady.
John Holmberg
I gave you the Reader's Digest version.
Brady Bogan
If he's right, they're out of ideas for fixing Cancer. Just go smell the fruit.
John Holmberg
John, how are you questioning a man with a sauce moto?
Brady Bogan
Oh, I'm not questioning him. I just didn't know that. Like he got definitively angry. Of course. Yeah. You saved the Polynesian sauce for what?
John Holmberg
You want a little more science on it?
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
The molecules are able to get the cell nucleus through the cell membrane, they're saying naturally, in a variety of dairy products, including stuff like Greek yogurt, Ripening fruits.
Brady Bogan
The hell are you talking about?
John Holmberg
Inhale the concentrations can help the molecules.
Brady Bogan
How did dairy come into it?
John Holmberg
Because it produces. I can't. Diacetyl.
Brady Bogan
Why are you telling this story?
John Holmberg
Science news should shut your pants.
Brady Bogan
Skipped this one. There's too many big words in it for you.
John Holmberg
No way.
Brady Bogan
And. And you know, I'm a.
John Holmberg
Nothing's too big.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, well, in our lives. That's true, Brad. You said smelling fruit cures cancer. And then you brought milk and yogurt into the equation without any explanation. Just shot out of the bushes and became part of the story. Moving on.
John Holmberg
No, with the all time quality. They say. They said that them scientists.
Brady Bogan
Wouldn't it be the worst if after all the treatments and stuff people have been through for cancer, we find out that just sniffing a grapefruit gets rid of it? Who knew? Like the most. The most basic, simple things. Just crack open a grapefruit and smell it for an hour and you got no more. And the tumor just disappears. All these people have been through chemo and treatments and getting body parts lopped off and all that. Just smell the fruit or dairy. I don't know where yogurt and milk came from and neither do you. So.
John Holmberg
Well, you crack a dragon fruit and can be totally brolic in like a week.
Brady Bogan
Those things are good for you.
John Holmberg
Another study found eating too much junk food increases your risk for 32 different diseases. Researchers are working on another thing in the food world. They're working on a new sensor that can tell how fresh meat is. All right, you put it up there. It's big. It's worldwide because pork is huge. The demand for it is the biggest happening.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
C
What is happening?
John Holmberg
Pork is probably the most consumed meat worldwide.
Brady Bogan
Muslims don't eat it, so.
John Holmberg
But the Asians make up for that.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
John Holmberg
For all of the Muslims.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. They bounce it back to the Muslim man.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they do.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. For every non pork eating Muslim, you've got a double down in China. No, no, he's probably got this one. All right. You're talking about food. But he got so excited.
John Holmberg
Amazing invention. But I never really run into. Wondered if the pork that I bought is still good.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it doesn't have time to go away if it's in your hands. It's fresh and gone in like hours.
John Holmberg
But evidently they have it, you know, in those markets and keep it around for a lot.
Brady Bogan
I'm guessing your fridge doesn't have a whole lot of. Is this still good going on?
John Holmberg
Can it survive?
Brady Bogan
After six days of storage, it's going fast.
John Holmberg
The private moon lander, you know that wrecked kind of landing.
Brady Bogan
Odysseus.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Odysseus. They say it's a success.
Brady Bogan
Sure. They got to them.
John Holmberg
They got some more images. They got the. One of the base of the moon lander. You can see the broken leg.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
On the moon service. But this stuff that NASA loaded up with to make experiments, it's still able to do some of that stuff. And it sent back some of the results.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, it just tipped over. They didn't even. They don't even have like a thing that can roll it. It's just gonna stay in on its side like a fat person and a rascal that just. They tip over and they stay either.
John Holmberg
There's more going on around your anus too. Astronomers found another moon plus two more moons orbiting Neptune. Neptune now has 16 that we know of. And Uranus has 29. That's your science.
Brady Bogan
Thank Christ. Excellent work. You got so excited about that.
John Holmberg
Got any questions?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, look it up. His sentences. His sentence has started to go three words again. Pork is huge. What do you do? It demand. Okay, these are just non sequitur. These are little phrases. Put them together and make sense of it. Big pork.
John Holmberg
That's your science news.
Brady Bogan
All right. Nostra John, you're just mad because your kid's a dick.
John Holmberg
When do they start taking responsibility for their actions then?
Brady Bogan
17.
John Holmberg
17.
Brady Bogan
You're responsible for them till they're 18. I'll give you one year before they're adults to be like, all right, you're on your own.
John Holmberg
I'm blaming on the 16 year old, okay.
Brady Bogan
Blaming it on his parents or lack thereof. It's out of control now. You're listening to the Best of Holmberg's Morning sickness. I haven't been in it for a while, but that's okay. There's just a lot of great stuff that happens here with John and the crew in the morning.
John Holmberg
But if you do like some of my stuff. Frank Calando, by the way.
Brady Bogan
Hey, folks, John Madden. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
John Holmberg
You're tired of the pugs. I get it back to the best.
Brady Bogan
Of Homburg's morning sickness. The best of. Did I say that? I don't know.
John Holmberg
I didn't pay attention.
Brady Bogan
I don't know. Same. That same website had a. A little story. This wasn't a video. A story called the Coconut Rule. And they have a list of what men can send. This is like a time for reality, ladies. This is what a man wants from a woman. Like you guys keep saying, what you want us to be. Here's what we want. A good woman will lose weight after pregnancy. This is a list. I didn't put this together. This is the list put together. I agree. Right. A good woman has a low body count, dresses modestly. Like, doesn't flaunt it, doesn't flash, doesn't dress like a whore. Okay. Right. Pretty basic one here. Oh, size dress must be a size 12 or lower. Yeah, that's reasonable, right? Absolutely. Waist to hip ratio can be no bigger than 0.7. Now, I don't know. I don't know how to measure that out, but, like, you know, you can't have a crazy difference. Waist to hip, although that is the no unaddressed trauma. That's a good one. Balanced PH levels means their skin is good and hair is nice, reasonably sized forehead. Yeah, you don't want a five. You don't want a five. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Doesn't necessarily have to do it all the time, but can cook and clean. Wow. No stretch marks. And is a very open to labioplastic. Are you sure you didn't write this? I wouldn't want that. Look, if I meet a girl number.
John Holmberg
Seven on the list.
Brady Bogan
If I meet a girl who needs labiaplasty, it's awful.
John Holmberg
That's a top tenner.
Brady Bogan
Has low iron levels. I don't know why that would be something we're concerned about, but it's on pale. Can spell coconut with her waist. Now, that's a sex thing that I've never even thought about. But, ladies, next time you're on your guy, try that. Grind out the word coconut. Yeah. Think about how awesome that might be. Oh, all right. She can spell coconut with her waist. Now, I don't know if you put her to the test before any sort of sexual activity. Just have her stand in the parking lot and do it. She'd look a little crazy, not a feminist, and not moody during her periods. This is one that you'd think that I did write this. Doesn't believe in star signs. You're starting to talk my language, but I Think it's just appealing to all men. Doesn't nag, but is a good communicator. Accepts her body hair, which is a thing that I'm not sure. Yeah, I think that means more just in the center area. Like she. She embraces it doesn't necessarily grow it out like it's crazy. But like 70s type. No, no 70s. And that's too much of an acceptance of that. But understands it's there and does stuff with it. I think that just basically means maintain things. Understands that it's part of it. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Get rid of it.
Brady Bogan
Well, the thing about that. And I agree with that. But back in the days when that first started, if you were ever. You should know an Italian girl can't get rid of it. It's like Homer Simpson's beard. She can shave it. An hour later, it'll be a little.
John Holmberg
Bit of a sideburn.
Brady Bogan
It's like kissing an uncle. If they made Roundup, I'd. Right. Oh, yeah. If you could do some weed removal, sure. But then the. Then they wax and an Italian woman or a woman like that, we just keep using them as the example. Has like a breakout because of it. Because you're pulling out some serious redwood spikes in there. You know, Understand your situation. Not all of you are built for the teardown. The wood floors, some of you need a nice throw rod. Some of you have some verber. Occasionally the ladies with the shag have to recognize that that's more like a lawn. And you got to mow it down a little bit. You can't get rid of it because that wrecks everything. But spell coconut with your waist. That was an interesting one. And do it while singing My Coconuts and you might really have something great. Of course, it was a Reddit thing that got crazy and then it turned into a real deal. The low blood iron thing was the biggest one.
John Holmberg
I don't. Where is. That's like out of the blue. That's weird.
Brady Bogan
Lady commented, I had low iron levels and I fainted a lot due to that. I don't know why a man would expect that. Well, maybe Nathan Sutherland was interviewed. Yeah, this. Another guy added one. He said, on a first date, is it reasonable to ask, how are your areolas? Yes. The answer is yes. Do you have obscenely large areolas? Because we could stop here if that's the case. That is a deal breaker. Big giant areola's already. Deal break. You got the whistle going. That was you. That made my ear tingle. That's Brady. Oh, yeah. You have it It's. It's. We had one on Friday. You don't hear it. It's only occasional. But without the music in the background. You'll hear it. Trust me, it's there. I gotta keep an eye on it. I'll get emails from everybody, then they listen without the background music. Sorry. And no nose whistles from ladies as well. Maybe cleared it in the one pot, but it was there. It made my tooth hurt. Gave me a zinger. But yeah. So that's it, ladies. That's what we have. And ladies put together those lists for men, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. We'd like to know. I think if a lady list came out about us, the things we could do, what we want. Okay, I like that. We're always getting that. Go to. Go to therapy and have your therapist tell you it's all about a man doing everything wrong and what a woman really wants. We never get ourselves hurt. Your side stupid. If we ever said that to you in a couple's therapy session, you guys would kill us. Well, that's stupid. You want me to want to take out the trash. That's dumb. Nobody wants. Nobody wants to do it. But I want you to want to. Oh, Christ, here we go. You want me to lie to you is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. So that's what you learn, Okay? I have to act like I'm doing what she wants, even though I hate it because we have to sit back and eat that garbage. But when we say I want you to be able to spell coconut with your waist, you argue. Why is that so important? I don't know why you care about why is it so bad? Is that all you want from me? Yeah. Are we in a safe place? Are we in a safe place right now? Yeah. It's really your only job. You keep up with that, you're gonna have a happy camper. Otherwise you get a mopey weirdo wandering around the house all the time. Spill coconut with your waist, not so bad. That's reasonable. And be open to labiaplasty. Did you know you have to be the one that admits it? A guy can't tell you you know what you need. Could you imagine trying to go home and tell your wife that? Yeah, I've been noticing some stuff. And here's some pamphlets. I picked him up today at the urgent care.
John Holmberg
Well, that's not a. What would Brady do?
Brady Bogan
How do I tell my wife she needs labiaplastic? You don't. You tell your wife you're moving On. I think she's got to be open to it. That's all an open discussion. I've been noticing a lot of excess skin on your. Yeah, that Holly Bach has those sugar lips. Speaking of. I don't know how to put it to you. I don't know what to tell you, but that Big Montana's starting to poke out a little bit. A lot of.
John Holmberg
Could be a skin cap. A swim cap on me, right?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. If we were going swimming, I would actually. If you were in bed and there was a ski cap thing or whatever that is for your hat, and it was laying next to your exposed vagina, I might grab the wrong thing and start tugging, like, hang on. Oh, that's the shower cap. The wrong one.
John Holmberg
What are you saying?
Brady Bogan
I'm saying we should maybe just be open to labiaplast here. I'm gonna turn the fan on, and you tell me if we need labiaplasty or not. All right, Ready? All right. It's up to you. It's up to you. I just want you to be open. This is a good question. Do you have areolas the size of lily pads? Wow. I'm sorry, ladies, if you've got giant areola, but that is something we have to get over. Same with men. If a man has giant areola, it's weird. Dude with pepperoni sitting on his chest. Noticeable way too large. Like, with Dr. Evil had that white shirt on, and everybody laughed because his areolas were huge. So consider it laby. Spell coconut with your hips. That's a big one. I don't understand the low iron. I think it just keeps them sedated a little bit. They're a little bit weird. They're a little weird. I guess high iron makes kind of aggressive. Low iron isn't necessarily bad, but, like, really low iron is. But if you have a little bit, like, you can't have high iron levels because I guess you get, like, too much aggression, I guess. Is that what it is? I assume you'd be too energetic and probably just annoying. You'd talk a lot. Oh, screw that. Yeah. Low iron and the hip ratio. Waist to hip ratio. That's. That's one kind of like. I don't.
John Holmberg
Point seven seems very.
Brady Bogan
It's a tight. It's a tight grab. Well, no, that doesn't. That's not your. That's not your hips, though. Your ass is different than your hips. You can have a nice ass, tiny hip. It's just that. It's just. It can't go from, like, You're. I think what they're trying to say is your stomach can't exceed it. Then you start getting into, what, bigger than your hips? Yeah, well, yeah, that's what I mean. So it's like that has to be. That has to be at least even for the most part, with hopefully a little bit of a turn, because you can have a great athletic butt and a hip waist ratio that isn't that much. Yeah, I mean, fastback. Why are we even putting a list out if she's got a fast. That's number one. Don't pass Go. I don't care if you can spell coconut with your face at all. I wonder how many ladies are in their house right now whipping their hips around a little bit. C O, C, O, N. Capital N or. Yeah, I want it in all caps. The only one that the T changes. That's a big fish. That's a strong fish. If you're left handed, you're going to start with a cross and then drop down the center. That's pretty good, too. Spell coconut with your hips. Give that a try. Get back to me. All you people about to start off your Monday with a little action. Tell your wife, hey, spell coconut with your hips. I read about this. And see if she gets anything out. Yeah. And capital N. Capital N on that. Trying to picture how cool that might look. And if you're really good, that I do it in cursive. Wow. Holly Bakadu. She's got sugar. You have it going. I thought you played something. Not the other thing. All right. 7, 19. Let's get a wake up song, shall we, ladies? This is just a list. I didn't put it together, but it's time we all ended. The star and every guy in the history of guys that's worth his. Oh. Oh. Ian Schwartz has said, if there's a lot of iron, that means she's a guzzler. Thank you. That's from a news person, so we know it's true. She needs more iron. Now I get it. It's my job to give it to her. These people who put less together are jerks. Thanks, Ian. That's brilliant. I like that a lot anyway. Or like Scott Haynes says, low iron means it's easily accessible for a shorter girl to iron your clothes. The low iron. I see what we're doing there. Oh, okay. Keep the iron on the lower so she doesn't have to ask you to help her get it. It's on the top shelf. Oh, I'm sorry. Gotta keep that low iron now. I get it. Either that or it's Guzzler. We want both of the low iron. It's out of control now. 98 KUPD, the best of the morning sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The best of Homburg's morning sickness. You and I, Brady, we belong in a place where we have the debate that's still raging my head from this morning of. And we'll ask Brett this because Brett Brady and I had a good 10 minute chat about this morning. All right, who wins in a fight the majority of the time? 70 year old or 13 year old? Let's say you got 170 year olds and 113 year olds. What's the final record at the end of the day?
John Holmberg
And you can say you can go men versus boys.
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, well, that's what it would be.
John Holmberg
Well, there's just saying in general.
Brady Bogan
I'm saying. Yeah, I'm not saying you start tossing women in there, that's an easy win. 70 year old. You. You like 70. Explain why. Because I. My dad would still kick. That's what I said. My dad can beat me up and he's 75. 76.
John Holmberg
Mine can't.
Brady Bogan
No, yours would lose the fight in a really bad way. But then you got to start thinking about some of Those super athletic 13 year old kids and the one that, that got Britney Zamora and the, you know, like the ones who grew when they were 13 that could beat the hell out. They're whipping their crank out. The 13 year old might be him. But, you know, I'm putting it out of every 10 fights, three will be won by a 13 year old. Well, yeah, I mean, a clock's right twice a day no matter what. So I mean, you know, think of some 70 year olds. Like, how many fights is Tripp gonna win? A lot. He signs my checks. Well, no, he's gonna beat you up. Let's say Tripp gets out to a bus stop and a 13 year old and him have words.
John Holmberg
That's. That's an even matchup.
Brady Bogan
That's an even fight. You start thinking that some, some said like my dad and your dad, they could handle a 13 year old. That's what I'm saying. That's my only, you know, consideration is just, you know, the 70 year old. I know. I took my dad to that tactical black a couple years ago and couldn't believe how hard he was punching. And I'm like, I still don't want any part of this guy. So yeah, there's some. So There's a few 70 year olds just mopping the floors. But I think there's a few 13 year. Like Larry when Larry's 70. Oh, Larry. Larry would be a struggle to knock a 13 year old around today because he's such a nice person and so like fragile, like he's a little guy. How many, how many is he gonna.
John Holmberg
Have to find the eye of the tiger?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Start thinking of Larry at 70. Start thinking of smaller guys at 70. Yeah, they're gonna lose because I mean Stallone's 70, whatever. Right. He'd still kill a 13 year old. But then you got to think of like Larry David.
John Holmberg
But it's one. Although right off the bat they could be killed. It's one bad punch. One.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
One fall.
Brady Bogan
It's a good debate. I'd say I want to. Never thought about that. I want this to work out.
John Holmberg
Was thrown out the, out of that the survey. 65% took the 13 year old.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Most people like took the 13 year old. They don't know Kurt Veslie. They don't know Dan Holmberg. Do you think at 70 your dad would have mopped the floors with 13 year olds?
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah.
Brady Bogan
I do too. I think your dad might have had a little battle because I don't see him as much of a fighter.
John Holmberg
He was so. Oh, he was just such a good athlete. That's probably the. You bring your lunch?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Oh yeah. No, yeah, he's. No, he's gonna work.
John Holmberg
But he's also wired similar to. Not a real violent guy. So whether or not I don't know how many fights he's ever been in even growing up.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, but it's like, it's funny you say that because now you think about the, the 70 year old Larry's or Shane Mans or something like that. The John Gordon's. Exactly. He's little. Yeah. At 70, like right now if you give me an athletic 13 year old and put him up against John Gordon, I'm like, this might be a battle.
John Holmberg
So they're saying, you know, maybe it's not too far. They're saying three of the 70 year olds will win. Three.
Brady Bogan
I'm saying it's the other way.
John Holmberg
We feel that.
Brady Bogan
But I, I under. It's a good debate. And not only that, an amazing television show that's just dying to happen.
John Holmberg
We're like, we got to put these fights together.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Because I'm up there at Tactical Black they've got the Silver Sheepdog program. Some of Those folks are in their 70s and 80s and they can do some work. But that's not to say 13 year olds can't. However, 13 year olds are just dumb as stumps. So I see them. If you get. If you get in there with anybody who knows a little bit of something, they're gonna make a mistake. But like you said, they're gonna be. They're gonna be wired to keep fighting. Where a 70 year old's gonna have maybe 15, 20 seconds of a street fight before it all starts gassing out.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
So the seven year olds got to land fast. I want to see this happen. I want to watch this happen. Now the other side of the debate. Give me. And it's not even 13 year old girl versus 70 year old woman.
John Holmberg
I'm going the girl.
Brady Bogan
I'm taking the 13 year old girl. Yeah, I'm too. Yeah. All day long. Yeah. They're evil. And seven year old women are. They have brittle bones and always cold. They're free.
John Holmberg
Kirby at 13.
Brady Bogan
Oh Jesus. Yeah. Well now we're starting to get into. Kirby beat up a seven year old man. Would you put Kirby up against 70 year old Larry? Do you think Kirby could beat up. Do you think Kirby could beat up Larry right now? Yeah, I'm a Brady on this one. I'm gonna. Let's break out the fanduel. I think Larry makes mincemeat of it. I think he's dyson her all over this building. I think Larry would shock you and he'd crush Kirby. I'm gonna stand up for Larry.
John Holmberg
The psychological side of it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Huge.
Brady Bogan
I'll tell you right now. And this is me as a friend of Larry's for the last 25 years. Larry would kick the living out of a 13 year old girl. There's no question.
John Holmberg
More than he started getting on that workout regime.
Brady Bogan
Oh he. Yeah, he works out but he's. He's just a smaller guy. You got to be careful though. Those little guys can kick your ass. Yeah. No, I think Larry would absolutely just slaughter a teen girl. I think he'd crush one. But I don't. It would be if Kirby wanted. If she had her mind straight and got into a good hold. Larry's gonna struggle. That's. I want to see that. I want to. Maybe at youth fest we'll do that. Larry, we have an idea for you know between bands at you fest that you fight Brady's daughter. Her. Real quick. She's in. We signed her. But will you. Why are you doing this? Larry? Just fight Kirby, please. The crowd's gonna go crazy and don't feel afraid to land one. The kid can take a shot.
John Holmberg
He would dominate her.
Brady Bogan
You think?
John Holmberg
Yeah. When it comes down to it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Just because it would pretty much be her.
Brady Bogan
Are we talking, are we talking street fight or what are we talking here? Well, we can go. We're talking wrestling. Look, you start getting into boxing or wrestling. Wrestling. Wrestling. Kirby. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Month to prepare.
Brady Bogan
Oh geez. If you get him a training, four weeks of training, then I'm really gonna go with the older person because kids don't retain anything. But those 70 and 80 year olds up there at the Silver Sheepdog thing, when they started that program, they're like, let's see. And these efforts are powerful. Like they're bridging people. There's an 80 year old woman that bridged a guy off of her from her back. Like, whoa. Like that's. They're stronger than you think. But they're, they're stronger than they think. They don't know how strong they. Until you start telling them hey, you can do this. And they do stuff and they keep them safe. But 70 year old and a 13 year old is a television. That's the chive for me. That could be a 24 hour network and I'd be like, when I'm bored, I'm like, let's check in on the 70 year olds and 13 year old. Then you get 13 year old boys, the athletic side of it, 8th grade boys. And I've always said 8th. And you put a team of 8th grade all stars together and I could beat your NBA champion or WNBA championship champs with a, with a team of quality 13 year old kids, boys I destroy in a best of five, it would be a sweep. My eighth grade team would dominate the WNBA champs because of dunking and speed. It's gonna happen. Everybody hates hearing that from the girls side. But it's true. There's no way they can shoot. But there's no way that a team of 14 year old boys would lose that. Unless you got a bunch of dummies. But that's just coaching. You got to keep them in line. So that's not even a thought. So you give me a team of, you know, 13 year old all star basketball players versus just random 70 year olds. Then it switches. But that's, that's a pretty good debate. That's pretty. When does that tide turn? Is it 60? Because I'd still put a 60 year old. I kick him a living crap out of.
John Holmberg
Because if you, if you would put it down to the other factor like buy weight classes like yeah, a 13 year old kid that's the same statue of, you know, or the same stature of, you know, 140 pounds, whatever.
Brady Bogan
Then yeah, if you weight class it like you put Larry's 140 against a 13 year old who's 140, that 13 year old that's 140, although more than likely is fat because he's American. But you know, still good battle. I don't know why. It was entertaining to me to think about that and then my brain started to put it together and I was actually watching some AI fights in my head. There they were, they were entertaining.
John Holmberg
How about this? If we were talking about the exceptional 13 year old but matches up to the exceptional 70 year old.
Brady Bogan
Exceptional 70 year old all day, just it just time spent on the planet is going to win that one and you got a bunch of dumb kids out there. So your kids are. And proof of it. I got this email, you know yesterday we talked about that lady who posted her her daughter's birthday party that nobody came to. This guy said it happened to us. John, my daughter's 11th birthday party last year was a catastrophe. We invited 12 kids. One showed up and another one showed up late and constantly reminded us my parents are making me be here through that experience. My daughter was devastated, didn't understand it. So I got introspective. I asked a couple of the parents, hey, give it to me straight about my daughter. Why didn't your kid want to come? And I, I don't mind the truth. Evidently my wife and I are raising an absolute bitch. Mean girl. She seems super nice but one check of her phone, which we never did and we saw that she often ridiculed anybody of weight. Even the not so big girls took beatings for their body shape. She was creating body image problems. She made people feel terrible, terrible about themselves. And she has a real mouth on her. Evidently if she doesn't get her way, she will take to the phone immediately and attack the other kids with horrible texts telling them to kill themselves. Things like that horrible little girl. So we were raising an asshole and didn't even know it. So let me PSA this moment right here and say take your kids phones and go through them immediately. None of your kids deserve privacy. This is so embarrassing. Hearing the story yesterday woke me up again. Gary, how about that? That is a good one. That is a good moment right now to just grab your kid's phone and go through it because you don't know if you're raising an absolute B hole. Or not. You go through Kirby's phone every once in a while. Just grab it and go. Let's see what you're doing. Yeah, you do just read all our text out loud.
John Holmberg
What's going on here? Who you talking to?
Brady Bogan
Give me your phone. You never just do that. Give me it. And just scroll through all our texts. No, you need to do that because you'll find out this kind of stuff. And you also might see a wiener, and you don't want to see that. Gotta get see. Yeah. Look what Toledo had to deal with it. He had BBC on his son's phone, and his son was spreading it around. He was spreading the BBC everywhere. At age, like, 15, 14. Hilarious for us as a parent. Just miserable that your kid is dabbling in the BBC porn and shooting it out to other kids. It makes him funny, but it also makes him the problem. Yeah, but that was we were saying yesterday, if your kid has a birthday party and no one shows up, your kid's probably a dick. And you need to look at yourselves, because most of the time, it's dicks that raise the dick. So it's you. You're the problem. Go through your kid's phone right now and then just shake it. I think most people don't do it because they act like. Well, they deserve private. Really. You don't want to see what they're doing deep down at all. My grandma used to listen in on phone calls. Calls. You could hear her pick up the phone, and she would listen. And then later, she said, I want to make sure you're not up to anything bad. She would watch us, like, for a week or something like that, and she would sit and listen on the phone. And when my grandma, crazy grandma, was living with us, just fumbling around on the phone, and I'd be like, izzy, I got it. My grandma. I'm on the phone. I can hear you. And then she'd lift you, like, hear the breath go away for a second, and then it would slip back. Izzy. So we'd do fake drug deals and stuff like that. Like, hey, do you have the cocaine and the heroin? The breathing would get heavier. She'd get more nervous. Who are you on the phone with, John? Nobody. Isabelle. I. I was not on the phone at all. I don't know why you would even. Don't lie. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. But she wasn't wrong. Kids do not at all deserve privacy. This guy says, yeah, of course you'd Pick Larry in a Larry Kirby fight. You Jews stick together. All right, that's enough bashing of me and my faith that I don't follow. Yeah, I want to pick up your. I. I would like to be that service. I want to start that kid consultancy where you're like, look, I don't even want to know what's in here. Go through my kid's phone for me. Because it would be tough as a parent if you went through Kirby's phone and found wieners and stuff. You know, as a parent, you'd be like, oh, no, I'd be really surprised. So, yeah. Then again, yeah, but you hire me because you don't want that. And you certainly don't want to see that she's firing back, you know, like she's got a few shots of her and it's going the other way. Your kids are awful people. You're especially like you because you're. You're not paying any attention. The horrible thing she's probably doing. But that's the problem. You don't want to see.
John Holmberg
I base it off of me. Right, right. Like, okay, there might be some. But I.
Brady Bogan
Come on.
John Holmberg
Hopefully.
Brady Bogan
Hopefully. There's the word. That's the word. You're just hoping.
John Holmberg
Discretion.
Brady Bogan
That's right. You're hoping because you're not going through it.
John Holmberg
You haven't hit class yet, John.
Brady Bogan
You don't know that you haven't because you're not going through the thing.
John Holmberg
Will it happen?
Brady Bogan
Hire a guy like me to go through your kids phones and I'll be like, God, this should. You know. And I'd score them. I'd have a ranking system. Look, you got a pretty decent thing going on here. Two out of every ten texts were questionable. She's got some website issues. She's into some stuff, but you don't need to know that. That's still for her. So on. All in all, you got a good one. And I'll let you know if you're raising a B hole or if you got yourself something on the right track. That way you don't have to go through their phones and see.
John Holmberg
I mean, if I went on there and I see she's looking at boneless Kenny Loggins, stuff like that.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, no, that's fine. That's fun. She can look. Phone look. Yeah, great. That's. You're thinking of. You're thinking of the guilty things in your phone. Breastfeeding, the boneless Kenny logging. Yeah, yeah, you're thinking of. Why do I have this in my phone? You're thinking of if I died in a car wreck today, what would they find in my phone?
John Holmberg
You don't get taken out by a train.
Brady Bogan
We're not talking about you celebrate me home. We're talking about your daughter. And the worst thing in her phone probably isn't boneless Kenny Loggins or breastfeeding videos. Daddy has that problem. But you're an adult. Yeah, I want to start that service. Give me your kid's phone and I'll go through and let you know whether or not you're raising a decent one or if there's something you need to pay attention to. And as always, after a start like this. High five. High five. Burch. None of that. Cuz no parent wants to look like I gotta. What Gary did was admirable. He's like, this isn't. This is something wrong with our kid. That nobody came to the birthday party. Not. You can't have 12 kids be no shows and blame all 12 of them. Unless they all lived. Unless you're inviting the Duggers over to your kids birthday party and you don't nobody, then it's just one family. But if it's 12 independent kids from 12 different houses and none of them showed up to your kid's party, your kids, something's wrong with your kid. And so many parents like, oh, how awful that the other kids were so mean and they didn't show. No, no, no, there's something wrong with your kid. And he went through her phone and found out. I thought she was a little angel. And she's horrible. She's mean. And that's the other thing. Some of them have those text muscles. They might be nice to your face, but they get on that keyboard and they're trolls. I can find that for you. The home bird. Your kid's probably an asshole. Text consultancy would start right now. And I charge like, you know, $100. I put a nice package together, go through the whole phone and then put together my assessment, my report, like a private investigator. I would love to knock on the door and go, well, you're raising an asshole. Like what? Yeah. Yep, yep. Like Jim Jeffries said, you know, probably 70% of the population, intolerable. And then if you. If you say to a crowd of people, raise your hand if you think you're a jerk. You're not gonna get anybody's hands up most of the time. But that's statistically impossible. So many jerks out there. Arizona's most powerful rocketing institution. It's out of control now. 98 k u p d. Cease and desist at once. The rest of home birth's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. Jeez, this guy's mad. He's not gonna kill me though. He's made it clear he's not threatening my life. Wouldn't be the first guy. Scott emails again. He said you've proven you're an unintelligent individual. Man, he doesn't take jokes very well, does he? That was kind of a fun conversation. My message stated open az, open gate az. And I dumbed it down for you. But surely not enough open border A ah quote have your head is not murder. I mean, if you have my head and someone else has my body, something's gone wrong. It's figuratively stating your radio residency will be on a downward slide. You guys have some juice. You should get somebody elected. I guess a simpleton might have taken it as a murder threat. I guess you're worried I did. This is why you're rebutting back with. Oh, slow down, chief. I didn't mean I. I knew it could come across like I was trying to kill you. That's why you emailed back. Voting for Biden simply represents your self interest and not the interest of fellow Arizonans or America. You go ahead and continue to be clueless. We have the ability to choose. And I choose to stop listening to your show because I don't like TikTok said I'd vote for Trump if he kept up with the zucker schmuck stuff. I'm on the fence here, buddy. I just told you my reasoning. If tik tok goes away, that's great.
John Holmberg
They hear one thing.
Brady Bogan
Hey, I know. Hey, open border guy. I'm against China. Remember when I said I was all American and stuff? Remember when America meant your right to have your own opinion? Oh yeah, without him some off the hinges jackass saying I'll have your head and then and quickly firing back. That didn't mean I'd kill you. I'm sure it did. It sure as did. And I've got email now. Proof and your name, you dumb. I didn't mean I'd kill you. I just said I would have your head. Oh, okay. And then of course, in an employment way, sure, that's how it came across. Not angry at all. And I stand by what I said. If Biden bends TikTok, that pisses off the right people. And again, I think you missed my point. Shining a glaring light on the idea that people vote more for the person that represents the people they piss off More than the greater good. But I guess a simpleton like you can't understand what I was saying either.
John Holmberg
Here comes the email.
Brady Bogan
Fine. He's not listening anymore. I thought. Oh no, he's listening. Oh yeah, he's listening much more. And I'm going to send the emails to the police. You're gonna get a call. So way to go, dumbass. I hope you.
John Holmberg
Did you hear about the Chick Fil? A pizza that might be on the way in the near future.
Brady Bogan
Somebody pointed out that Brady's Pizza News should include like it should all be. Kate Middleton of the Royal Family hasn't been seen in six weeks and some are worrying she's had her last slice. Like it's always. It's always related. Back to pop. Yeah. Let me just hip you to a fact. If you've got an opinion, it differs from mine. The worst thing you can do is make generalized threats through the email and then try to backtrack on them because the cops protect me. Sorry. You're probably gonna get a call. I can hear the keyboard going right now on that other. He's not listening. He sees a. He's a man of his word emails again. That means he's still sticking around. And thanks for the ratings. You're making today huge. Don't. And just in the future, your angry craziness. Don't say I'm gonna have your head. And realize later that somebody could take that. It's like this guy's after me. Don't like threats. Not a big fan. I hope you live a long, fruitful life believing and living the way you'd like.
John Holmberg
Keep your head on.
Brady Bogan
And this is what I need. Jordan just emailed. Said, hey, John, if this guy kills you, I'll take care of the dogs and make it Mike. I appreciate that. Thanks. Thanks, citizen. Oh my God. Thanks, citizen. Thanks. That's. You know what? You're a good man.
John Holmberg
People that.
Brady Bogan
Of course. No way, you simpleton. Great stuff. Ah, the. The dumber people never learn. Anyway. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. The deal is ridiculous. You can't get a better one than that right now. Going out there later today trying to get in better shape. And I'm doing it up there at React Defense and it shows. And when it shows, you beam a little bit. It feels good that the work you're doing is paying off. And guys up there are working, that's for sure. And so reactdefense.com not only will get you in good shape, boost your confidence just visibly because it does feel good when people notice that you're working hard. Not to mention FBI stat that everybody hates your workplace. This is the place you will most likely run into a physical encounter or a violent event. You're there every day. It makes sense. Unless you work from home and Elon wants you to email back in if that's the case. Either way, you learn a lot, you get in great shape and the price is unbelievable. Two months for 199 bucks. How about that? Personal training does not cost that little. This is an unbelievable believable price you must take advantage of because the value is huge. 199 bucks for two months. Do it now. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
John Holmberg
Sam Neill was being interviewed and he was talk told the journalist the story about Jurassic Park. In 1993 he had the honor of sitting next to Princess Diana brought his 10 year old son. Unfortunately his son was gassy.
Brady Bogan
I farted on the princess numerous times.
John Holmberg
And it smelled and he was like so worried that she'd think it was me.
Brady Bogan
Oh, I see what he's doing. It was him.
John Holmberg
It might have been. But he added that he was sweating like crazy the whole time. Prince is gonna think yep, it's me. But he played the good dad and did not rat out his son.
Brady Bogan
Oh my. Sorry about that princess. My boy's gassy. That didn't sound like it came from your boy though. It did.
John Holmberg
Since the sun's grown now he'll never take him to another.
Brady Bogan
Stop it you little bastard. Was he Jeff Dunn? He's a ventriloquist or what we call his Walter. It's like an old man. You can't control it.
John Holmberg
Remember when Ellen DeGeneres hosted the Oscars in 2014? Of course she did that selfie.
Brady Bogan
Oh yeah. That was 10 years ago.
John Holmberg
Yep.
Brady Bogan
Wow.
John Holmberg
Now they're calling it's there's a curse on this selfie. Everyone that's in it is dead. Well you run down Ellen first of all still alive had the article the toxic work environment in 2020 they had a rough go and her show ended in 2022. Kevin Spacey gone Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie rough patch Meryl Streep she's had a great run. Last year it was revealed she had a separated from her husband been Don gummer for in 2017. It's almost 40 years together they have.
Brady Bogan
Been to they had kind of Admitted that they'd been roommates for about a decade. So once that picture got taken, here's the curse. All right, this is the last one.
John Holmberg
Bradley Cooper nominated for an Oscar that night. Didn't win. He's lost seven more Oscars since he's over 12. Okay, well, if he loses, because he's nominated three times this year, he's 0 for 9.
Brady Bogan
Could be over 12. Jeremy. Oh, he's fine.
John Holmberg
Actually won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club, but since then, he's played the joker in Suicide Squad, appeared in House of Terrible movie.
Brady Bogan
So part of the curse is just a couple bad roles. Yeah, that's on them. Julia Roberts. Nothing of her life is this series of wins. This is.
John Holmberg
It's just she's played a smurf in Smurf, Willow and Smurf since 2014.
Brady Bogan
I. I guarantee there's been a couple other bank cash. The. The curse check.
John Holmberg
The remaining people in the selfie have yet to be cursed.
Brady Bogan
Okay, so no one's cursed. Kevin Spacey is the only one in the whole thing that had a rough go. And he's back and. Well, door. Sorry.
John Holmberg
You left it there.
Brady Bogan
I had to do it. I gotta stop laughing at you.
John Holmberg
You'll be excited about this. Bruce Springsteen announces new greatest hits album.
Brady Bogan
He hasn't had any since the last one. You got to have new greatest hits to have a new album of greatest hits. Same old greatest hits.
John Holmberg
Yep. And then whole make a special track, Brady.
Brady Bogan
This new one's called Born to Run Again. He just adds the word again after he. Maybe we were born to run again. Still born in the USA still born.
John Holmberg
In the USA for these political times.
Brady Bogan
Still born in the USA Came out dead Well, I don't like this new one, Bruce, but it's good enough.
John Holmberg
Still Rosalita holding strong.
Brady Bogan
It's not as good as stillborn in the U.S. still born. Who's that for? There's a new baby comes out gray still born in the USA I was still born in the USA I'm an old gray baby in the USA Now I'm gonna. Is that a real. Somebody's already done that. No. Still born in the USA is a brand new idea. We're 40 years in and nobody's come up with that. You guys gonna do that for. I think we're gonna. I'm gonna write that today. Yeah. He was born by a refinery smoke made my mama SM ovaries bad. I croaked out at 6 months, but I still had to come out the stillborn in the USA Sorry to all the stillborn listening. They'll be fine. They're all right. They'll get over it.
John Holmberg
Get out of here.
Brady Bogan
Stillborn in the USA is hilarious. I don't know why that one's got me so good, but it's funny. Terrible. So dark, and yet offends no one. I can't imagine it offending anyone who. You'll be getting the email tomorrow. I was a stillborn, sir. It's out of control. Now you PT all they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of H's morning sickness. It's time now for your Guadalupe Squares with an international woman herself. It's Mo Beron, everyone. Mo.
C
Thank you, Chancellor. In the top left square, our president is back, Joe Biden.
John Holmberg
Turn on the mic.
C
Turn on the microphone.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, Y.
Brady Bogan
My speech lessons. Watch them. What? Yeah, yeah. Speech.
C
Okay, Take a breath. Read the teleprompter.
Brady Bogan
Okay. Homo. What? No, it's. It's a low mo.
C
No, look. What?
Brady Bogan
Listen.
C
Yes, folks, What?
Brady Bogan
Telling you did a great job. Lesson.
C
Turn your mic on. You did it again, Joe. Okay.
Brady Bogan
Oh, you're what? You're what? You want a pizza, man?
John Holmberg
Yeah, that was. I was waiting for a piece of me.
Brady Bogan
I'll take it down.
C
You're gonna take someone down. I feel like you're gonna go down before that even happens.
Brady Bogan
Homeowners, homeowners, Homeowners, Homeowners.
C
Is that what you're trying to say?
Brady Bogan
Give everybody money, Art.
John Holmberg
I'm fish for that.
Brady Bogan
I basically turned the presidency into a big radio station.
John Holmberg
Can I get some money?
Brady Bogan
9Th caller gets a mortgage.
C
Yeah, I love it.
John Holmberg
Everybody's gonna win.
Brady Bogan
Watch my speech.
C
I did not.
Brady Bogan
Pretty good speak. I'm from a different time. Yeah, I forget about microphones.
C
Turn the microphone back on. You doing anything nice for Dr. Jill? Okay.
Brady Bogan
Dr. Joe. International Women's Day.
C
Yeah, yeah. And Kamala. I mean, come on.
Brady Bogan
Gonna get an international power for women. President. Have a. Probably an iron.
C
No. Okay, well, give her a nice iron. They might appreciate vacuum. You're going to vacuum?
Brady Bogan
No, I'm going to get him one. Oh, a Dyson or a Kirby?
C
There you go. No, that's a different thing.
Brady Bogan
Happy International Women's Day. Now get to work.
C
Okay, moving on to the top middle square. Here to talk about the 65th birthday of kin. It's O.J.
Brady Bogan
Hello there. X. Formerly asked Twitter world. Hey, you didn't know who Kol K.
C
You know, I didn't. I didn't. I was like six when this happened.
Brady Bogan
That dumb surfer got me out of America Charge with his terrible testimony. He had a glove. He didn't. It bonked into his house. Whatever. We got McDonald's.
John Holmberg
It was fine.
Brady Bogan
So we're going to celebrate the 65th and Happy International Woman's Day. I love all women international. Otherwise, in fact, I like international or national. Replaceable or, you know, interchangeable. Part woman. I just like women in general. Just, you know, the ladies. But Cato and I are gonna go out and retrace our steps for international Cut a woman in Half day.
C
No.
Brady Bogan
By the way, I'd like to start my new. I'm gonna cut to the chase. We're gonna get to this. I'm going to Vegas. I'm gonna start a magic show where I cut women in half. Oh. We're gonna be up on stage at the Mirage, and I'm gonna be chopping in two. But then I'm gonna get away with it because it's magic. That's what I was doing.
C
And then do you just escape in a Bronco again? Like, what happens here?
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, we gotta. It's sponsored by Ford, the Bronco. Of course we need women. Of course we need women to make more men to slice up more women. Slack. Small up. It's a vicious cycle. We need women to slice more women up.
John Holmberg
It's so.
Brady Bogan
It's God's little joke, but I'm just saying. Yeah. Because without women, you can't make men to kill more women. It's just. It's the endless cycle. Elton John sang about it.
John Holmberg
No, he did not just star.
Brady Bogan
Could have cut the in half.
C
No, did not sing that song. All right.
Brady Bogan
That's what I was singing. I'm gonna sing it at my show in Vegas. OJ's Magical Music Tour.
C
All right, moving on to the top right square. He loves women. It's Donald Trump.
Brady Bogan
I love him. I grab. I grab an international woman right by the puss every International Women's Day. Bolivian.
C
Bolivian.
Brady Bogan
I like those. I like the Russians. My favorite country, Bulgaria. Some people call it Bulgaria.
C
Nobody's calling it.
Brady Bogan
I call it Bulger, and I like that. That's nice. Did you watch Joe Biden's old man on the lawn speech last night? Shouting at all of us about everything that he's done wrong, like it's our fault. Bad guy, not a good guy. But I'll tell you this. Come over here. Let me grab you by the.
C
No, I'm okay.
Brady Bogan
Let me grab that international thing. How about all the coughing? The coughing Last night, every few seconds, Joe hacked out a little more Covid. The Crypt Keeper barely stayed alive during the speech. It was pretty amazing. It's just. There. He was just up there with all the coughing. Don't shake his head. He'll catch the China flu. He's friends with Xi Jinping. It's all part of his plan. China Flu heading your way. Thanks to the president. He's in on it. But there he was, coughing and yelling and coughing and yelling like a prostitute who didn't get paid. Just choking to death and shouting for his cash. That's all he was doing. So strange. Let's move.
C
On the middle left square, we have the Oscars.
Brady Bogan
Which?
C
I'm not sure.
Brady Bogan
All of them.
John Holmberg
All of them.
Brady Bogan
There we go.
C
Oh, no.
John Holmberg
Whenever you talk about the Oscars, mothers only wanted to release.
Brady Bogan
Talk about.
John Holmberg
Don't you agree?
C
I agree.
John Holmberg
I think it's. It's pretty obvious what you talk about when he asks us. Like your favorite movie.
Brady Bogan
Gremlins 2.
C
That is a really good movie.
Brady Bogan
Or Howard the Duck, as we all know, standing in my house telling me what your favorite movie is. If it's a woman, the answer comes out wrong. Very few women think Godfather's the greatest movie of all time, which is why.
John Holmberg
You get paid less.
C
This is true.
Brady Bogan
You just don't have any good reasons.
C
I gotta ask, what was your favorite movie this last year?
John Holmberg
Step Brothers.
Brady Bogan
That was I just saw for the first time.
John Holmberg
That's hilarious.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
C
Touche.
Brady Bogan
My God, that's amazing. Favorite movie ever is Step Brothers.
John Holmberg
Whoa.
Brady Bogan
I was nominated for Academy Award once.
C
I didn't know you guys are hanging out.
Brady Bogan
We're not, but he summoned me with the powers of Marlon Brando.
C
He must have hit that drum set.
Brady Bogan
He was touching my. Marlon Brando. He touched my drum set. Well, now. Touch your jumpsuit. I rub my nuts on your jumpsuit. I'm gonna kick your ass. Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando's in the news because he used to bang Rita Moreno. I still used to knock that international woman sideways on a regular basis. She left me because she found a pair of underpants in my bedroom that didn't belong to her. Little did she know, they were mine. Marlon used to travel around port to port.
C
Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
Every time that he. He produce a quirt. Oh, it's very funny. Anyway, Godfather's gonna win again this year. Cause nobody saw the dribble. It was on the.
John Holmberg
He's gonna sweep, sweep again. Just put Godfather up every year until it loses.
Brady Bogan
Yes. How about that? Last year's Best picture always.
John Holmberg
It's still the best picture 50 years later. Hasn't been one better. Except maybe if you ask mom, the Butterfly Effect.
C
Two, obviously. Second one.
Brady Bogan
And whatever this freak show homo nightmare salt bomb is. What this guy walk around with his thick out. Nobody needs to see that.
C
That's a little erotic.
Brady Bogan
Was it even for you, a lesbian? You wanted to see the weens.
C
Well, you know, I'm just curious what he's doing in the dirt, that's all.
Brady Bogan
I didn't see it. I'm not a homosexual.
C
Have you ever licked up bath water before?
John Holmberg
Whoa, lick what?
Brady Bogan
I've licked up bass, but who hasn't? I like that Barbie movie. At least the first 10 minutes. Until I got tired of looking at her games. All the yabbing. God, Bobby this, Bobby that. Give me some murders, give me some story. That's what I need. All right, Happy Oscar's weekend, everybody.
C
All right, moving on to the middle square. He's a fart sprayer. It's Whoa. Raffle Randolph. Poking Randolph. What are you doing?
Brady Bogan
You learned earlier this week that I used to buy my gas at a.
John Holmberg
Jokester owned by the Jews.
Brady Bogan
Jokes on you Jews. I bought my morning breeze. Duh, Morning breeze.
C
I've never face pumped which smells like.
Brady Bogan
Fart and you spray it into a room and you run away because you've gassed the room.
C
Like Radolph Bogan sprayer.
Brady Bogan
Earlier this week, I brought up my new good friend. Who? The Herbie Holler Jew.
John Holmberg
Why does that matter?
Brady Bogan
Because in Upper Arlington, Ohio, that is how you identify the non white.
C
How did they identify you?
Brady Bogan
Brady Bogan up Arlington resident. Okay, he on the joke store. You didn't. That was a sign outside at least.
John Holmberg
No, say you didn't though. You just shouted.
Brady Bogan
No, no, no. It was on the window. They were always washing. Your accent.
C
What about your accent?
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah, I have oath. I am Braedorph Bogan and I love Fox Play. I will gas you with it.
C
No, we're good.
Brady Bogan
Braedolph. All right.
C
I have my mouth open.
Brady Bogan
That's morning priest.
C
That's not. Not good. All right, let's move on to the right middle square. Jean Simmons is here.
Brady Bogan
Exactly right. Jean Simmons is here and saving the day. Indeed. I was on the show earlier this week. I thought I did great.
John Holmberg
It was the best interview I ever heard.
Brady Bogan
Thank you, Brady. You're very beautiful man. No.
John Holmberg
Oh, well, that's abrupt.
C
He needs a father figure. I mean, you could do that for him.
Brady Bogan
Yes, he does. And it's too late he's been feminine.
C
I'm still tight.
Brady Bogan
I wouldn't raise him $10,000. If he wants me to be his father for a weekend, I'll do one potato sack race, and I'll have a meal with you for $10,000.
C
And how much does it cost?
John Holmberg
How long is the meal?
Brady Bogan
25 minutes, maximum. And I won't be attending the entire meal. I'll just. I'll just admit that I was ordering with.
C
And how much does it cost for you to play catch with them?
Brady Bogan
With what? A baseball of some sort? No, I'm.
C
What you think I was talking.
Brady Bogan
That's another $5,000, Eugene Simmons to. And you provide the weaponry. Okay, I have to also take a break because it is my wife Shannon Tweed's birthday this weekend.
C
Oh, happy birthday.
Brady Bogan
And I'm a man from Israel, and so we'd like to do some work on the Strip, if you know what I mean. And I'm going to be bombing her Brazilian strip all weekend long.
C
All right, you're done. Let's move on.
Brady Bogan
There'll be nothing left. Every tunnel will be blown free.
C
Okay, bottom left, square. It's Brady. Secret square. Give us a hint.
Brady Bogan
What's up, everyone?
John Holmberg
I'm 84 years old. I'm an actor. I'm still a lone wolf. Let me tell you a little fun fact about myself. My tears cure cancer.
C
Okay?
Brady Bogan
Too bad I never cry if I get. It took me a minute, too.
C
All right, moving on.
Brady Bogan
And technically, kind of a world champion in baseball last year.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Were you missing an action? You'll work on it, okay? You'll see.
C
All right, bottom, middle. Here to celebrate International Women's Day, it's our friend Caitlyn Jenner.
Brady Bogan
Hey, Happy Women's Day, everybody.
C
Hi, Lo.
Brady Bogan
How's your badge?
C
Oh, it's great. How's yours?
Brady Bogan
Great. I just had it buffed.
C
I think it snapped at me.
Brady Bogan
Oh, my God. It's so tight. You can't help it snaps back. It's like a little Venus fly trap, only less rare. Want to see it? It's great stuff.
C
I'm good.
Brady Bogan
Anybody hungry for Arby's on Women's Day? We'll go add the horsey sauce in the middle. I'm just kidding around. God damn it.
C
Why does it look like the sandworm from Doom?
Brady Bogan
Oh, because it's. It used to be one. It's an inverted sandworm. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Supposed to have those feelers on it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
C
Where'd the feelers come from?
Brady Bogan
Let's not fall into the tip of that. Women fall Into.
C
And what's that?
Brady Bogan
On International Women's Day, where we start fighting in front of the guys. Oh, we. Nothing. You don't need to be.
C
That's what it was. It's like we fight to the death.
Brady Bogan
You're being a complete to me.
C
Whoa, whoa, whoa. My middle name.
Brady Bogan
God damn it. We'll have rosebuds and chocolate all weekend long. Have you ever had a rosebud?
C
You're going to celebrate alone?
Brady Bogan
Oh, no, I'm not.
C
Okay.
Brady Bogan
Happy International Women's Day from the international woman of choice. Me, Caitlyn 64, 225 and completely normal woman.
John Holmberg
How come you keep going up and down in that seat?
Brady Bogan
What are you talking about? Oh, I'm a little heavy for the seat. It's not holding me up. Anything.
C
All right, moving on to the bottom right square. Also here to celebrate International Women's Day. It's our Lord and savior.
Brady Bogan
I'm going to tell you, I celebrate International Women's day more before 9am than anyone else. Oh, man, have I been celebrating women this morning.
C
Do I want to know how you're celebrating women?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I'll tell you exactly how. It's the same way you do Mo.
C
Is it by giving them raises?
Brady Bogan
No. Well, not that kind of raise. If I gotta give you a raise, I gotta give all the guys raises 30% higher. I was celebrating women this morning. One that said, stunning Spaniard passionately pounded. I celebrated the hell out of that.
John Holmberg
Did you hit. Skip that.
Brady Bogan
Oh, skip at.
C
Turn down the volume.
Brady Bogan
In fact, my solemn tribute to the beautiful ladies of the world. I'm gonna celebrate 69 of you today. That's right.
C
Oh, yeah, that joke.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, well, you know he would.
C
All right, let's get on with the show. Who's on the phone?
Brady Bogan
Christina and Andrew. Christina, are you there? I am here. Andrew, are you there? Yes, Chancellor. All right, Christina, pick a square. Go. Let's do Caitlyn Jenner. It's International Women's Day. We're all sticking together. Sisters are doing it for themselves.
John Holmberg
What?
Brady Bogan
Anyway, clear your throat. What are you doing today, Christina, for International Women's Day? Just working honestly. That's all I'm doing. You know what's really bad? It's almost misogynistic. I'm going to clean the house today, if you can believe it, for International Women's Day. Wow. My balls on the shelf got so dusty, I thought it was about time. I keep my balls.
C
All right, getting to your.
Brady Bogan
I use them as a swiffer. I stretch the old skin around the Swiffer. And stuff it in those little holes.
John Holmberg
The wet jet.
Brady Bogan
Ah, Wet jet it a little bit.
C
No.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. No. And then the balls.
John Holmberg
Pick it.
Brady Bogan
Right.
C
Wait, hold on. Throw some fabuloso on there.
Brady Bogan
Oh, it's International Women's Day, isn't it? Almost turned me into Tony roll. Oh, here we go.
C
Okay, okay. Spending 20 minutes with pets has the same effect of anti depression drugs.
Brady Bogan
I don't know anything about antidepressant drugs. I've never been depressed.
C
Good for you.
Brady Bogan
Something depressed me. I just cut it off. I don't even deal with it anymore.
C
This is depressing. But children.
Brady Bogan
Yep. Kids bother me. Cut it off. Relationship. Just cut it off. Dick.
John Holmberg
Get rid of it.
C
Get rid of it.
Brady Bogan
I looked at my dick the same way Toledo's dad looked at his. Get rid of it. Thanks. I'm proud of it. All right.
C
I got it. All right, your question. Spending 20 minutes. Ow, ow, ow.
Brady Bogan
I just sat on one of my labia. Oh, God, that hurts.
C
Why is your labia.
Brady Bogan
I swear, I think they might have left a nut in wearing boxers. I gotta stop wearing these boxers.
John Holmberg
The open fly. Just.
Brady Bogan
How do you deal with it, Mo?
C
I don't wear boxers.
Brady Bogan
Sometimes the thing looks like bitter beer face.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
Christina, does yours ever look like bitter beer face? And you gotta move one over the other. It looks like it's overlapping itself.
C
Oh, my. Just answer the question.
Brady Bogan
Happy International.
C
Yeah, yeah.
Brady Bogan
No, we all suffer the same stuff, sister. All right.
C
Spending 20 minutes with pets has the same effect of antidepressant drugs. Is that true or false?
Brady Bogan
One time I put on girls underwear and I was like, my God, the thing looks like it's chowing down on it. Get back in there, you two.
C
My God. Was it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, it looked like a hostage with its mouth touched.
C
We've all been there.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Felt like I was like in Iran in 1980. I'll say that's true. Pets are nice.
C
All right, he's saying true or she's saying true. Do you agree or disagree? My apologies, Caitlin.
Brady Bogan
I agree.
C
That is correct. X kiss a square. Andrew, pick a square.
John Holmberg
Nobody but OJ.
Brady Bogan
Hey, look at that, the juice. Hey, you know what's funny? Caitlyn Jenner and I have the same woman. Kris Jenner.
C
Like Eskimo brothers and sisters.
Brady Bogan
I made kids with her too. Like, I had that big Chloe beast. That's mine, clearly. Look at her face. There's no doubt out. And then he made two beautiful girls. Well, actually two beautiful girls. And then he made one real ugly one out of Himself. I'm glad I wasn't married to her. I'd have killed her the first day.
C
Okay, okay. The average amount.
Brady Bogan
Hey, Bruce, I'm not changing it. Oh, yeah.
C
Okay. The average amount of time a woman can keep.
Brady Bogan
I just sat on my ball. Wait, wait. He's on my ball. Give those back to me. How did you get those? I started on someone else's bowl.
C
Okay, again the question.
Brady Bogan
Hey. Oh, my pants. No.
C
Oh, my God. Stay in your box.
Brady Bogan
I'm sorry about that.
C
Okay, the average. The average amount of time a woman can keep a secret is 94 hours. What is happening?
Brady Bogan
Hey, I'd like to welcome. I love being on Hallberg show because.
C
Okay.
Brady Bogan
I'm a friend of the Jews. Good to the Jews. I'm tired of the juice.
John Holmberg
Me too. Juice.
Brady Bogan
Thank you very much.
C
Don't talk to Brady.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you. He's piped down on us Rados.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. I walked in with Jean Simmons and I heard people in the. In the parking lot screaming, I hate you Jews. Mark. I'm sorry, Jean. That wasn't. That's exactly what happened. But I think he might be misunderstanding. No, they were screaming, die, Jews dying. How do you live like this, Gene? This has to be brutal. Oh, God. But it's good to have a couple of Jews here.
C
I just want you to answer the question.
Brady Bogan
By the way, Oscars are this weekend. Is Knives out nominated again? No. I don't know. I want to see that again. I'll say that that's true. A woman can't keep a secret. Well, actually, I know a woman that's keeping a secret for a real long time. She hasn't said a peep.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but the average. We said she knows.
Brady Bogan
She's bringing up the curve. It's been 30 years. The hasn't said a word.
C
All right, he's saying true women can keep a secret for 94 hours.
Brady Bogan
Let me say that's true.
C
Do you agree or disagree?
Brady Bogan
I disagree. Correct.
C
It is false Square. It's actually 47 hours. All right, Christina, I don't want.
Brady Bogan
I know how to make him quiet. I'll tell you a secret that will. You'll take it to the grave.
C
All right, Christina, go ahead and pick a square.
Brady Bogan
Let's do Donald Trump choice. See that, Joe? See that sleepy Joe? Between the two of us, both available. The woman voted for me. She chose my square. Great job, Christina. Are you gonna vote for me or Sleepy Joe? He probably won't be alive. It's an unfair question. Thank you very much, Christina. That's one to Nothing.
C
Pair of shoes. To send her a pair of shoes.
Brady Bogan
All right. Moving some hair. Trumps. What?
C
No.
John Holmberg
That's right.
Brady Bogan
That's right. No. At International Women's Day During World War.
C
I, England trained seagulls to find German subs. Is that true or untrue?
Brady Bogan
During World War I, England trained seagulls to find subs.
C
German subs.
Brady Bogan
A flock of seagulls. I modeled my hair after the lead singer from a flogging seagull. Long time ago. Good hair. Great hair. Still holds up.
John Holmberg
It's history.
Brady Bogan
That might be the dumbest question a woman's ever asked me. And I've been asked a lot of dumb questions by a lot of dumb women. How in the world would a seagull know where a submarine was? You would train a dolphin. At least I would. And let me say that if I'm president, I'm training the dolphins to find the German submarines we never found in World War I or 2. I'll say that's false. Seagulls can't see underwater.
C
Okay.
Brady Bogan
All right.
C
He's saying false. Do you agree or disagree?
Brady Bogan
I know things about birds. I agree.
C
Incorrect. It's true. Circle gets a square. Andrew, you could take Biden for the win.
Brady Bogan
Let's go with Biden again before we get to him because he hasn't heard his name yet and somebody has. Snap on the shoulder. I'd just like to say when I said German subs, Brady went crazy and started to push sauerkraut all over him. So I know what happened. I don't know what happened there, but that was weird.
C
Fight it. Come back this way.
John Holmberg
Microphone.
Brady Bogan
Turn on the mic, man.
John Holmberg
You're pissed off.
C
Turn on the microphone.
Brady Bogan
Whistle Stop tour. Whistle stop. Whistle stop.
John Holmberg
Whistle stop.
Brady Bogan
Back of a train.
John Holmberg
That's what people get around.
Brady Bogan
Uhoh. Back of an Amtrak. Got the D thing in government. What?
John Holmberg
How you got to school.
Brady Bogan
That's gonna be a winner. What?
C
I don't know.
Brady Bogan
Why does nobody care? Jar Jar Binks. People know I'm still alive. Me think boss. Nice fast. Want to say how bad I feel about Lincoln Riley.
John Holmberg
He's still the coach.
Brady Bogan
Still Lincoln Riley out of usc.
C
All right, Biden, you ready for your question?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
C
In 2022 Dolphin dollars.
Brady Bogan
Oh, I think I wrote the question.
C
I think you did. I feel like I'm Getting what you.
Brady Bogan
$2022 charge chat phone G. Gross millions. 7. $7 million. True. False answer. Mo. Answer the question. You don't answer it.
John Holmberg
I'm not an answer.
C
Finance for answer. Yes. What?
Brady Bogan
You heard me.
C
I didn't.
Brady Bogan
2022 dodge. Charge up. Big 20 minute dodge. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Huge savings.
Brady Bogan
Huge savings. I don't have something. But imagine because we made that money, America gonna get $70 billion back. True.
C
Okay, Just go with it. We're going with it. We don't even know the question. In 2022.
Brady Bogan
Cheap bills.
C
Dollars. Charlie Chaplin, silent film mortgage. The Gold rush grossed over 70 million in 1925.
Brady Bogan
Border. False.
C
You would know. You were there. You saw it.
John Holmberg
1925.
Brady Bogan
I hope.
John Holmberg
How much was popcorn then?
Brady Bogan
Six cat hairs.
C
Oh, cat hairs.
Brady Bogan
We didn't have currency.
John Holmberg
Wow. That's a. Pluck cats for her.
Brady Bogan
Oh, my God. I like to pluck a cat now and again. Grab a little pussy hair for my movie ticket. That's what I do. Disgusting. Butter chips. These are words I found out yesterday.
C
Wow.
Brady Bogan
Butter chips. Cole?
John Holmberg
No. You want a Snickers?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. I told a story about Snickers last night. My true.
C
All right.
Brady Bogan
Snickers. Satisfied?
C
Are you answering the question?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I said true.
John Holmberg
All right.
C
He's saying true. Do you agree or disagree?
Brady Bogan
I'm gonna agree.
C
That is correct.
Brady Bogan
Square. Tired of Chipflation.
C
Chipflation.
Brady Bogan
He won.
John Holmberg
Got my vote.
Brady Bogan
Chipflation. I was talking to Brady Bogan. Brady's of the world lays chip manufacturers in their half a bag of chips. Putting an end to it.
John Holmberg
Same bag, less chips.
Brady Bogan
Think.
John Holmberg
Think I'm joking. Chips.
Brady Bogan
No joke. Half a bag.
C
Half a bag.
Brady Bogan
Full price. No putting an end to it.
John Holmberg
How?
Brady Bogan
Adding chips. Computer chips in every bag.
John Holmberg
I don't think that's stealing chips from billionaires.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, Taking billionaires chips and putting them in a lay's bag.
John Holmberg
Still not a good idea.
Brady Bogan
I get a dental plan. Shouldn't eat a lot of computer chips.
C
Erica Estrada from Tip.
John Holmberg
He left.
C
I'll date.
Brady Bogan
He's gone. You missed him. He's out. We're done with you. Well done, Mo. Thanks. Happy International Women's Day. You're Mexican. And a woman.
C
Wow.
Brady Bogan
And you're with another person of color who's a woman in your home.
C
Look at that.
Brady Bogan
Look at all.
C
We're progressive in our household.
John Holmberg
Boxes. Check.
Brady Bogan
So many boxes being looked at.
C
Our dog, also a woman.
Brady Bogan
Is that right?
C
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
You've got a good one.
John Holmberg
Marvel Rocket.
Brady Bogan
It's out of control now. 88.
Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: BEST OF HMS PODCAST - COMBINED SEGMENTS - Friday March 14, 2025
Release Date: March 14, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Timestamp: 00:30 – 05:00
The episode kicks off with a vehement critique of St. Patrick's Day. John Holmberg and Brady Bogan express strong disdain for the holiday, labeling it as an excessive drinking fest rather than a genuine cultural celebration. They lambaste traditional Irish foods like corned beef and cabbage, arguing that such dishes are subpar compared to other Mexican offerings like tamales.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan [03:30]: "Everything about St Patrick's Day is terrible. The people that show up are usually, like, closeted alcoholics that feel like this is their day to shine. Just an awful day."
John references a study revealing that only a fraction of people in Ireland feel comfortable claiming Irish heritage without direct lineage, emphasizing the melting pot nature of American identity.
Timestamp: 05:00 – 30:00
The conversation shifts to modern parenting practices, specifically the proliferation of "Slow Kids at Play" signs in school zones. The hosts argue that such measures lead to overprotection, resulting in children who are less street-smart and more accident-prone despite numerous safety signs and crossing guards. They nostalgically reflect on their own childhoods, suggesting that fewer restrictions fostered better awareness and independence among kids.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan [25:55]: "The kids aren't aware because they're constantly protected by mommy putting up little glow. In the dark man... It's just a succinct way of saying that the kids aren't aware because they're constantly protected by..."
Timestamp: 30:00 – 50:00
In a humorous and interactive segment, listeners submit stories of wrongdoing, and the hosts try to identify which member of the crew is responsible. Stories range from stealing lumber to spilling hot coffee on someone in a wheelchair. This segment showcases the hosts' playful banter and willingness to poke fun at each other’s past misdeeds.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan [40:26]: "I did that at Tony Roma's once when a guy in a wheelchair was making fun of my shabby outfit and I got tired of it, so I spilled hot coffee on his useless legs."
Timestamp: 50:00 – 90:00
The hosts delve into a series of offbeat and often inaccurate interpretations of scientific discoveries and pop culture events. Topics include the creation of "super diamonds," mishaps with private moon landers, and unfounded claims about animal training methods during wartime.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg [60:29]: "But it can't do half the stuff. Launch me, man. If I got that kind of technology. Let's get these wings on it."
Timestamp: 90:00 – 140:00
Embracing a controversial and irreverent tone, John and Brady host a mock celebration for International Women's Day. They engage in exaggerated and offensive humor, presenting "squares" with fictional characters and making inappropriate remarks. This segment highlights the show's penchant for pushing boundaries and eliciting strong reactions from listeners.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan [136:34]: "Happy International Women's Day. Now get to work."
Timestamp: 140:00 – End
The episode concludes with continued humorous exchanges, responding to caller interactions and maintaining their signature irreverent style. The hosts reflect on societal issues, personal anecdotes, and engage in playful teasing, wrapping up the episode on a high-energy note.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogan [147:10]: "I'm gonna agree."
Cultural Critique: The hosts frequently critique modern cultural celebrations and practices, emphasizing a preference for traditional values and skepticism towards commercialization.
Parenting Philosophy: There's a strong undercurrent advocating for less overprotective parenting, promoting the idea that allowing children more independence fosters better awareness and judgment.
Humor and Controversy: The show thrives on pushing the envelope with its humor, often venturing into controversial and offensive territories to provoke reactions and entertain listeners.
Interactive Segments: Engaging the audience through interactive games like "Name the Asshole" fosters a sense of community and participation, albeit with a humorous twist.
Irreverent Tone: Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain an irreverent and edgy tone, blending humor with sharp social commentary.
The "BEST OF HMS PODCAST - COMBINED SEGMENTS" episode encapsulates the essence of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, blending humor, social critique, and interactive segments. While entertaining, the episode's content is laden with controversial opinions and edgy humor that may resonate strongly with loyal listeners while potentially alienating others. Notable for its candid and unapologetic discussions, the show continues to carve its niche in Arizona's morning radio landscape.