BEST OF HMS PODCAST - COMBINED SEGMENTS - Tuesday - 12-31-24

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcast (12-31-24)

Release Date: December 31, 2024

Overview

In this special "Best Of" episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS), Arizona's top morning radio show hosted by John Holmberg brings together the show's most memorable segments featuring co-hosts Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. The episode, aired on December 31, 2024, compiles a variety of entertaining and provocative discussions that exemplify the show's commitment to engaging and challenging its audience.

Key Discussions and Segments

1. Local Comedy Scene Highlights [00:00 - 01:06]

   John Holmberg kicks off the episode by promoting upcoming comedy shows in the Valley. Highlights include performances by Paul Versey, Beth Stelling, Sarah Weinschenk, Joe DeRosa, and Lil Rel at various improv venues such as Tempe Improv, Desert Ridge Improv, and Stand Up Live. Holmberg emphasizes the importance of supporting local talent and provides ticket information for interested listeners.

   Notable Quote:

   "For tickets, go to standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, and tempeimprov.com."
   — John Holmberg [00:00]

2. Personal Health and Recovery Stories [02:03 - 05:15]

   Holmberg shares a listener's story about overcoming a knee injury with the help of the Core Institute, drawing parallels to his own experience. The discussion highlights the unpredictable nature of life’s challenges and the importance of trusting experts for recovery.

   Notable Quote:

   "You can get rid of your pain and start saying yes to all the things you want to do."
   — John Holmberg [00:30]

3. Allergies and Personal Health Issues [02:03 - 05:15]

   The hosts engage in a humorous and relatable conversation about dealing with allergies, particularly focused on the pervasive smell of citrus due to abundant orange trees. Holmberg also opens up about his struggle with a persistent foot odor problem, leading to a lighthearted yet candid exchange on potential remedies.

   Notable Quote:

   "My feet still stink. My feet smell horrible. It's gross."
   — John Holmberg [03:00]

4. Flag Football and Social Commentary [05:15 - 34:10]

   One of the most extensive segments delves into flag football, with a particular emphasis on the emergence of "gay flag football leagues." Holmberg and Bogan critique the exclusivity of these leagues, discussing themes of inclusion versus separation within sports communities. The conversation touches on stereotypes, societal expectations, and the balance between fostering inclusivity and maintaining open participation.

   Notable Quotes:

   "Why are you trying to keep it so exclusive when we’re supposed to be inclusive?"
   — John Holmberg [06:03]

   "There's so much potential for misunderstanding when leagues are segmented like this."
   — Brady Bogan [10:00]

5. April Fool's Day Pranks [34:10 - 38:22]

   As April Fool's Day approaches, the hosts discuss past pranks and share insights into how they plan to handle the day's festivities. They highlight the challenges of executing successful pranks without crossing lines, emphasizing creativity and audience engagement.

   Notable Quote:

   "April Fool's Day just has to happen. You just have to be always prepared that it's April Fool's."
   — John Holmberg [19:00]

6. Controversial and Humorous News Commentary [38:22 - 85:55]

   The episode features a rapid-fire segment where Holmberg and Bogan provide humorous takes on various news topics. Subjects range from public figures and local events to societal issues, all delivered with the show's characteristic irreverent humor.

   Notable Quote:

   "How do they enforce that?"
   — John Holmberg [78:28]

7. Personal Anecdotes and Listener Engagement [85:55 - 120:54]

   The hosts share personal stories and interact with listeners through calls and anecdotes. Topics include relationships, weddings, and personal experiences, offering a blend of humor and candid conversation that resonates with the audience.

   Notable Quote:

   "Weddings are like funerals to me. You got one, I'm going to one of them. That's it."
   — John Holmberg [101:03]

8. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks [120:54 - End]

   Holmberg and Bogan wrap up the episode with reflections on past segments and teasing future content. They maintain a light-hearted tone, ensuring listeners leave with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for upcoming shows.

   Notable Quote:

   "This entertainment drill that was from the past is brought to you by our friends."
   — John Holmberg [120:35]

Conclusion

This "Best Of" compilation encapsulates the essence of Holmberg's Morning Sickness—a blend of humor, candid discussions, and provocative commentary. John Holmberg and his co-hosts adeptly navigate a variety of topics, from personal health stories to societal critiques, all delivered with a distinct irreverence that aims to entertain and engage Arizona's diverse morning audience. Whether addressing local events, sharing personal anecdotes, or dissecting social trends, HMS continues to uphold its reputation as Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too, and you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And and all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com college hoops are here.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's no better place to catch.

[John Holmberg]

The action than Hooters.

[Brady Bogan]

Fuel up with the baller bundle.

[John Holmberg]

10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience?

[Brady Bogan]

Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you Hooters.

[John Holmberg]

The original wing joint since 1983.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing. Kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.

[John Holmberg]

What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[John Holmberg]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.

[Brady Bogan]

That's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say. We're Amco.

[Brady Bogan]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, mco Trans transmissions.

[John Holmberg]

And a whole lot more. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of Homeburg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. And I have allergies going. And you have allergies. And you have allergies.

[Brady Bogan]

I mentioned it yesterday. I'm like, hmm, I'm starting to smell citrus in the air.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know it. And my neighborhood is just loaded with orange trees. That's all I smell is oranges. You can smell the citrus. Why do you laugh at me? I don't know. That just sounds stupid.

[Brady Bogan]

When you know old people, that's the early warning sign.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's when you gotta watch it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, boy, here it comes.

[John Holmberg]

Or like that radio show on Saturday Night Live all of a sudden. Yeah, I smell citrus in the air. That's good. But yeah, it's. It's horrible. And top it all off, my feet are diseased. There's nothing I can do about this. It's over. I. I'm gonna sue the city of Detroit. Why is it Detroit?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, because it could have been Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

It could have been Toledo. The mum that is that developed on my feet and it's not visible, but it's a. Cannot be scrubbed off. Cannot be burned off. Can't be nothing. I've tried everything.

[Brady Bogan]

We might Google it, but you might have the mommy mung.

[John Holmberg]

I might have some mommy Mung from the Ohio Mommy valley. Yeah, just embrace it, John. Don't worry about it. No, I can't embrace it. I have to leave my house. I get Brennaman's feet. They caught. They caught it the first day. It's a fungus that I. I don't know what it is.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you've always had it just, you know, really.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Came to life.

[John Holmberg]

Wander around my bare feet all the time and then everything's fine. And in the golf course. In the golf course, you get on the sandals and you go, oof. You're really sweating them. That's just sweat smell. But it doesn't stick around. You take a shower, it's gone. These. You take a shower, you get out and you're like, my feet still stink. You scrub. My feet still stink. My feet smell horrible. It's gross. You want. We want to wit.

[Brady Bogan]

Call Brennaman to find out medication. Maybe he's got a couple extra bottles.

[John Holmberg]

Left because you said Brennaman's feet used to turn black.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. The bottoms of them.

[John Holmberg]

In college, Tom Brennaman with the Diamondback, used to have.

[Brady Bogan]

He was a true Tar Heel.

[John Holmberg]

Blackfoot. It's gross and the smell is horrible. And it's not my shoes, it's my feet.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's a scraper. Scrape it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it comes off. It just didn't. It wasn't discoloration. It was a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

It came off in, like, a ooze. No. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

See, if you could, like, grow, like, a potato with the stuff coming.

[Brady Bogan]

You might. Roots might be coming out of there.

[John Holmberg]

What I want is sit in this filth and make it worse so I can grow vegetables. Great idea. No, it's disgusting. I mean, you.

[Brady Bogan]

Seriously, if you stand for, like, a. In a spot for over five minutes, mushrooms start coming up in that spot.

[John Holmberg]

Not on me, but it's so bad that it's just the area around wood floors and mushrooms were popping up out of the wood. It is the. It is disgusting. And I've tried Gold Bond.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, don't. Like I said, keep it down to one pair of shoe. Because every pair of shoes that you're putting on ruined.

[John Holmberg]

I'm ruining everything. It's gross. And now the allergies have got me. It's a tough week. What a tough week.

[Brady Bogan]

It's out of control.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out of control over here. I can't talk. My throat still hurts from screaming at the super bowl, which, by the way, I watched last night again, and I will watch every day.

[Brady Bogan]

And you watch the Grammys a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I watch the Grammys. But you can't. I don't think it's possible for any one human being to sit through the Grammys all the way anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's tough.

[John Holmberg]

But we'll get into the whole Sly in the family. So that's just proof. The Grammys are so completely out of touch and out of date with the general public.

[Brady Bogan]

U2 was a big winner.

[John Holmberg]

U2 won big. But Sly. Sly and the Family Stones, well, they were getting a lifetime award or whatever. They haven't done anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, maybe. Because I don't know who's behind the tribute disc. I know that's coming out, but Sly.

[John Holmberg]

Disappeared from society for 17 years.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought he was dead.

[John Holmberg]

So did I. I thought he went crazy. And there were rumors he was arrested.

[Brady Bogan]

And after last night, yeah, he disappeared for 19 years. Just fine.

[John Holmberg]

Was it all that? Was it the whole time? I thought he was back, like, two years ago and started to do something, but he wouldn't Tour wouldn't talk about the band.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't know what the deal, but I know you two. I heard they're gonna take their Grammys, melt them down, and pay for someone's hut in Johannesburg.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's nice. That's nice. That's what's for my father. Cause I love my somebody else. Have somebody else to save everything.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you hear Bono? He said being in a rock band is like being in the circus. And then they pan the camera over to Roy Horn and he's flipping off Bono.

[John Holmberg]

That was pretty cool.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If you think that's just going to our heads, it's too late.

[Brady Bogan]

In the name of the Father.

[John Holmberg]

In the name of the Father. The time. The spirit of the Holy Ghost. I don't remember that part. Yeah, he. He's. He's a weird dude. I like how he stands. Like he's about to break into one. At any given time. His feet are always crooked.

[Brady Bogan]

And then when he brought up that cadaver, and he's like, this is a kill. This is a kill.

[John Holmberg]

He's not the same guy as the guy from gangs in New York. They just look alike. But, John, if you noticed last night, our bands won. Brady, I know you. I owe you both lunch. They owe you both lunch. But, you know, that's no different screen. Yeah, they don't. They don't. They don't show it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's the little scroll. But the other thing I thought was cool was I never knew Angela Lansbury could rock out like. Oh, that was Paul McCartney. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got a roll today. Yeah, he's got. He's got a writer.

[Brady Bogan]

Grammys.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't you? And. And can Bruce Springsteen's songs mean less? I know this is.

[Brady Bogan]

I Didn't Catch the Boss.

[John Holmberg]

It's supposed to be a deep war song. But it could be about a peanut butter and jelly, and it would be that. I had a piece of bread and a couple of knives. I had some jelly on the left and peanut butter on the right. What happened to him? And I'm from New Jersey. I stuck my knife in the peanut butter and I ripped the bread. I'm just eating this peanut butter sandwich, getting it on my head. That crowd just eats it up. They eat anything. And then he plays the harmonica and the guitar at the same time. I'm still.

[Brady Bogan]

I guess you're still knocked out by that.

[John Holmberg]

They still think that's an achievement, but.

[Brady Bogan]

Every time you see him, he. He makes it a point that he's. He's serious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he is serious, but his songs mean nothing. My left shoes off and my right shoes on I can't find a remote control. Just roll a song on fire. Yeah. Everything is weird. And you look at him, it's like, man, that was deep. And that's just the face he makes. He sings about nothing. Hills and Dust.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he does literally 57 channels.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing. Oops. My shoes untied, folks. Hang on a second. I'm gonna bend down and tie them in front of everybody. Wanna play harmonica? That doesn't even rhyme. Bruce. Steve, send them home.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you see Stevie Wonder with Alicia Keys?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Probably the funniest thing was she actually blew a note in his harmonica. And Stevie, did you hear what he said? Yeah. Don't spit my mom. Monica, girl, he's gay.

[John Holmberg]

I would let her spit on anything she wants. I would let her spit.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't know. He probably felt her wrist and it was really thick or something.

[John Holmberg]

Got thick wrist. He thinks she's fat.

[Brady Bogan]

Speaking of fat, I guess Aretha Franklin ate the Black Eyed peas last night.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that is a good one. Maybe the best joke you've ever told. She is a house that came out of nowhere. You gotta save that crap for when people are listening. That's funny. I'm gonna go wash my feet right now. It's 98 Kup. That's funny. Holmberg's morning sickness. My feet have become. It's. It's. The home remedies are starting to roll in.

[Brady Bogan]

Chicken Soup for Jack.

[John Holmberg]

It's chicken soup for my feet, and there's plenty of suggestions. This guy's got the best voice for it, so I figured I'd talk to him. Hi there. Who's this? There we go. Are you there? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. There you go. What's going on, man? Hey, I was just on my way in here to shop this morning and I heard you talking the past couple days about your. Your feet problem, man. They smell horrible. Yeah. Hey, I got a fix for you, all right?

[Brady Bogan]

Is this the guy from the Geico commercial?

[John Holmberg]

You're that. You're that tough biker from the Geico sp? No, no, no. I'm a redneck from Ohio. Yeah. Oh, no. What part? Southeast.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, you're out. Jackson. Big dude Jackson, Ohio.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. We're not goat ropers or nothing, all right? You're from Almost.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you from Gala Police?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Outside Columbus. Outside. Oh, okay. Southeast of there.

[Brady Bogan]

Patascala.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. Brady, stop it. What's your foot remedy for me, hillbilly? Okay, you Got. You got two things. One is it's based mainly on a lack of zinc in your body. Seriously, I kid you not. I had the same deal, man.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what? He's been releasing a lot of zinc lately and that's true.

[John Holmberg]

Zinc comes out of me like crazy. All right. Yeah. Either. Now that and then another deal is spray deodorant on your feet. Works like a charm. Put deodorant on my feet? Yeah. I'm telling you, I do it. Okay, all right, I'll try that. I've tried tied with bleach. I've tried it all, so. All right. Those are good suggestions. Thanks, man. Hey, new problem. All right, we'll talk to you later. Remedies from Grove City, by the way, may have the best voice I've ever heard on radio. No problem. We'll talk to you later. I love that. That's a great sound.

[Brady Bogan]

He's kind of like a mountain man. Wilford Brimley.

[John Holmberg]

The other dude hung up and he said I should piss on my feet in the shower. Well, that's what you do for athletes foot misses.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they don't know the natural disinfectant.

[John Holmberg]

Do you pee in the shower?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you? Yeah, but I can't bring myself to ever peeing on my foot. I don't think I pee in the shower too, but I don't think I could.

[Brady Bogan]

I want to design a full toilet in the shower. You just do everything and you just hose on.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you want to sit and.

[Brady Bogan]

Get soaked at the same time under that hot water?

[John Holmberg]

This is the most relaxing thing I have ever done. It is raining hot water. I am pooping now. Wouldn't the. The toilet would overflow, Brady, because you get water spraying in there.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that's the design of it. It's just constantly draining. Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

That's a lot of money in water you're spending. Yeah, you're. That's a waste.

[Brady Bogan]

And then I'll have waterproof magazine that you can leaf through when you're.

[John Holmberg]

You have the worst idea ever in history.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just kidding. It's not my.

[John Holmberg]

Going to waterproof everything in the corner, but. Why is there a toilet in your shower?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's all I want. It's a space saver.

[John Holmberg]

Lord almighty, get in it. But I want to just pee at it. You got a shower at my house when you're going shut your mouth talking to me. It is just picturing it, which is worse. I'm actually picturing Brady doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

If you could come up with maybe Like a TV tray, like thing. Then you could shave full naked, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

On the can.

[Brady Bogan]

Shower poop and shave all at once.

[John Holmberg]

I hate you. I'm going to kill you with a knife. I know, I know I'm supposed to say stuff like that, but I mean it. I think I mean it this time. I think. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I think that you and what army?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The knife is all I need really. While you're pooping and so I can't walk on that floor. I'll slide all over. It's. Wow. Hinder here get stoned. And you have to be stoned to understand that, Brady. Probably. It probably would be pretty relaxed.

[Brady Bogan]

I got to step out for a second. When you hold this grenade for a second.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on to this. We let it go, didn't we? It's hinder. Why can't that image leave my mind of you on the can in the shower? Burn it. Burn my brain. Holmberg's morning sickness. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Everybody wants to fix my feet and I couldn't appreciate that. I feel like Jesus. Everybody's washing my feet. Everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Everybody. Everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's washing your feet? Yeah. Well, that's something, I guess. Who are you?

[Brady Bogan]

Mary Magdalene.

[John Holmberg]

Mary. How are you? I'm Melissa. Oh, Melissa. What's going on? In Israel, they have all one room. Bathroom, toilet, shower, everything's tiled, all in one room. Oh, we got that too. You mean all. It's just like you shower and you. And you go. You can. Actually, my cousin in Israel, she would go in the shower and then I'd have to use the bathroom and the toilet's all wet. And there'd be like this little snail because he was hanging out when she was taking a shower. The snail. Yeah. I don't even want to know either one. It freaks you out when you sit down because the toilet's wet, right? Because she doesn't think to dry it off. She's just taking a shower. Sure. And then you look and there's a snail crawling up the wall. Like a real one. Like a snail snail. Like a snail. Big Israeli snail.

[Brady Bogan]

That's called a toilet snail.

[John Holmberg]

Jewish snail.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a toilet snail.

[John Holmberg]

It's a big Jewish snail. What? It's a Jewish snail. Well, it would have to be. It's an Israel. I wonder if he was kosher. He could have been kosher. He could have just reached in there and eaten them. Sorry about your feet, man. Yeah, I know. Thanks. I've had the same problem. But seriously, what Brady says. Yeah. Don't use other shoes. Yeah. Really because you'll keep giving it to yourself over and over again. What about the shoes I'm wearing?

[Brady Bogan]

Those are gone. Cooked.

[John Holmberg]

They're brand new.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they might. I'd take them off. Are they smelling?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Then take. Then save them.

[John Holmberg]

I think that would be an interesting point of conversation to take them off to actually see if it's really as bad as you say it is. Well, it's not. Right now, I have to be in the shoes for a little while and create a mung. That's a bad suggestion, lady. Yeah, it took me years to get rid of it, but I had to. I had to trash all my shoes. I tried different stuff. Like somebody said, put bleach in the. In the shower. Don't put lotion on your toes. Always dry them off. Oh, I put lotion on last night just because it's scented.

[Brady Bogan]

Put the lotion in the basket.

[John Holmberg]

Anything that smells like something other than.

[Brady Bogan]

My foot, it puts a lotion in the bath. Hey, you know, I know what that Jewish snail. Yeah, I know what they sound like.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here's Brady's impression of a Jewish snail. Go ahead. Oh, Brady Bogan is on fire. As far as pissing on your feet. Yeah, I think that goes along with the same line as women tell men, it's not the size that matters because it's really not all true. We're just lying to the small guys. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. The peeing on your feet is just for a point of conversation to see if you actually did it. See, you lie to a small guy, because then when you break up with him, you tell him the truth. He's going to become a serial killer. Be careful. All right, good luck. And always check for snails. We'll talk to you later. Bye.

[Brady Bogan]

Bye.

[John Holmberg]

Bye. Wow, that got weird.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, a lot of times I don't have the choice. Peeing in the shower, because right when that warm water hits, you gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the same way. I tried for a long time because I thought, okay, this is getting out of hand. I'm way too comfortable with this. But I think everyone does it. I don't think anyone can resist the evil of the thriller. It sucks when you're cleaning your shower, Nick.

[Brady Bogan]

Go down the drain.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't pee in it while you're cleaning it.

[Brady Bogan]

And I don't. You know, you don't sandblast the sidewall.

[John Holmberg]

Think about it. Every time you're down there by the drain, you know what you need to think about? Here's something you need to Think about. Because it's probably what, 90% of Americans. I don't know about the other places in the world. They even got hot water. I don't care. Yeah. I took polls, so to speak, and hotel rooms. Think of that. They don't bleach. Clean the shower every day in the hotel. So you're getting in there with the last guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Bring it on.

[John Holmberg]

And most everybody's peed in the shower.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know about. You sure about that? The bleach cleaning. I think they. Do they have.

[John Holmberg]

Do they just.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's the sheets that they.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they don't. They don't care. Every.

[Brady Bogan]

Most of them do it three times a week maybe.

[John Holmberg]

It's spooky. It's weird to think about hotels and I never want to stay in one again. When you think about everything you do at your house that you do at your shower, and everybody pees in the shower. I bet you it's 90%, which put that up on the website today. You pee in the shower, see what the percentage is. And be honest. Holmberg's morning sickness as we speak right now. My feet smell horrible. Everybody knows that. And everyone has gone through this but Brady. Something I want to avoid pretty badly is what this guy just mentioned to me. He said the word jungle rot. Yeah, jungle rot. It causes pits to be eaten into your feet. Oh. And it's just from wet feet. Yeah, it's from my. From being in hot, humid.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Hot and humid climate.

[John Holmberg]

So you can't just get that in Detroit.

[Brady Bogan]

You can get the jungle rot in the crotch, too.

[John Holmberg]

It's very, very, very, very painful. That's real. Yeah, that's real. It's real, real. I've had it.

[Brady Bogan]

Crew X.

[John Holmberg]

Jungle Rock. Okay, I want to avoid that. Like the play. How do you get rid of Jungle Rock? I stuck my feet in Lysol for about three months. How bad does jungle rot smell? It doesn't really smell. It's just extremely painful. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

The other thing.

[John Holmberg]

Lysol will take any smell off your feet as long as you do it long enough and you take care of your feet and, like, wash your socks and everything, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's gross. And if I can avoid jungle rot.

[Brady Bogan]

The only other thing I know that gets rid of it, if you can go to the zoo and get a Lola and gorilla to give you a.

[John Holmberg]

Cat bath, that'll take it right off. Yeah. And Jungle Rock comes right off. And you told me that you got a scrub with a hard bristle brush and Then soak your feet in Lysol.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to soak your feet in Lysol, but if the hard bristle brush does not work in unscented Dove soap. Okay. If that doesn't work, then you would move to the Lysol in more extreme cases, maybe like soaking your feet and you take aloe vera like pieces and you boil them and you soak your feet in that also. Wow. I've got a problem.

[Brady Bogan]

I think boiling his feet might work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just. Just cut them off. Evidently, they're done.

[Brady Bogan]

You give it a week.

[John Holmberg]

Hot oil. Yeah. I don't know. Nice job, man. Thank you. I'll take. I'll take your suggestions. I could deep fry them. Nice work. We'll talk to you later. That would work.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll put a little batter on them.

[John Holmberg]

And deep fry my feet. I don't understand. It's just. You have it. Toledo? No, Nothing. Oh, just in general.

[Brady Bogan]

He's had it before. You always have. Stink foot. No, I've had it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's horrible. That's horrible. It's ruining my whole house. I can't even take my shoes off. I'm one of those guys that's got to walk around, you know, and after the shower, I gotta put shoes on right away. And is my shower now infected?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

This is gross.

[Brady Bogan]

You just take. Yeah, it could be, but all you do is bleach the tile in the shower.

[John Holmberg]

Great. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe marketplace off the 202. Emmett Clintock. Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, Dewalt, Makita, Proto, and so much more. We're also [e-mail] KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fish or Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it. This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have. Visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com It's Dick Toledo.

[Brady Bogan]

And new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel, America's number one sports book. 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 5-33-4 2.

[John Holmberg]

Cease and desist at once. The rest of home birds. Morning sickness. This is the big Red Radio. Brutal. Ah, sports. Why do we involve ourselves? Yesterday, while I'm watching football and I thought we were supposed to be all inclusive. I thought the whole new world was everybody gets to do everything with everyone else, right? I thought that was the whole point of us, like, being accepting and caring about each other and like, I don't care what you do at home. I don't care what color you are. I don't care who you're banging. I don't care what you're banging. I just think if you're, if you're good enough, we, we do that. And then I see right there on TV an advertisement for gay flag football. There's a. I didn't know it. It's a league.

[Brady Bogan]

Missed it.

[John Holmberg]

It's a full league. There's, look it up, gay flag football. I know. So this is what I thought of. I think of Brett because my brain, my brain, right? My brain Goes where Brett's goes. But I actually go, oh, that was terrible. He laughs and I go, oh my God, Brain, what are you doing? Football. It's the ngffl. That's right, the ngffl. Gay flag football. Flag football is like having a black javelin throwing team. You know what the terrible people are going to call it? 250 teams in 26 leagues. Yeah, the Mexican Cleaners having a naming contest saying, okay, we're blank cleaners for Mexicans. Okay, we know what that's going to turn into. An Asian math team called the Think Tank. You know what bad people are going to turn this into.

[Brady Bogan]

The men's room.

[John Holmberg]

A professional women's basketball league called country basketball. You know what we're going to call it? Don't have gay flag football. It's a low hanging fruit orchard. Good lord. Yeah, but isn't this like. Yeah, we're all going to. It's going to turn into something, Terry. Especially the South. Once the south of America finds out about gay flag football, you can count on you. See that big old football game? Yes. It's flag football, by the way. That's what I said. That's what I told you.

[Brady Bogan]

And everyone can catch a pass. Everyone's a wide receiver.

[John Holmberg]

My dry cleaner is. His name's Jose. He's my cleaner. Yes, we know the jokes. We get it. You can't do that. And they've got like 70 teams. Every. Everybody but Phoenix has a team. So once KDKV finds out about this, they're gonna start talking. Oh yeah, he's gonna be a quarterback. Phoenix will have a team. And what are the quality? How do you know? What do you have to do? Like, what's the combine? He runs a 4, 5, 40 and like can blow like eight guys in a minute. What? Who cares that you're gay? In flag football when you pull the flags, do the pants come off?

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, what's the no pants.

[John Holmberg]

Why in the world is there gay flag football when they're all saying, let's just include each other? That's not a flag. That's not a flag. And just keep pulling and pulling. Keep going, keep going. He's not down yet. He's not down yet.

[Brady Bogan]

He paints it yellow.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. On top of the point that there's easy jokes to make, Isn't that exclusivity? Isn't that the opposite of the entire thing? Isn't that what we're supposed to be avoiding?

[Brady Bogan]

You can play in the league that's currently right.

[John Holmberg]

Why not just have a flag Football league and gays can play in it. We don't have an all straight league. They'd lose their minds. We have an all gay league. If I'm straight and I want to play because it's the only flag football in town. Do I have to blow guys to play? I mean, what makes it gay football? What makes gay flag football different than flag football football?

[Brady Bogan]

The snacks afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Better snacks. The outfits, the costume changes. I don't know, the dancing, the anal sex. I mean, what's the difference? I just don't get why it's a thing. And I'm watching it in the NFL's like, proudly support the gay flag. I'm like, why? Well, the gay bulls in Seattle this year, apparently. But shouldn't it just be the gay bull? Like, am I that poll? I said bull or bull? The gay bull. So you can buy your commemorative coffee cups. Does that say it's the 23rd one?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I just don't get it.

[Brady Bogan]

Be some Jordans at that one.

[John Holmberg]

I just don't get it. I thought we were supposed to stop that stuff to make it so we're all one and be united and not care about each. But then you just shout out, hey, nobody allowed in this thing unless you're gay. And I don't know how you try out for that team. I don't know. I don't know how you. Hey, hey, thanks for letting me know, but gay football in town is like, oh, am I not invited bigot? I'm like, wait a second. Why am I the bad guy for saying I don't want to go to gay football? I'd rather just go to football. Football.

[Brady Bogan]

And why not excel in the general flag football.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe they're better.

[Brady Bogan]

They're a great player.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who. Yeah. Is there. And there is no flag football league. I mean, it is kind of gay to just play flag football anyway. I mean, just, you know, put some pads on even before there was be a goddamn man about it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just saying Kirby's doing her last.

[John Holmberg]

She's a woman.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. She's the only one on the team.

[John Holmberg]

The only one what?

[Brady Bogan]

Only woman.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought she was just standing by herself. She's the only one on the team. What are the team. I see what you're saying. Oh, she's playing in a boys league.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, but she's like the one girl left.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And flag football is, let's be honest, what it is for people who are 15, 16 years old. It's. Your parents are. Yeah. You won't let the boys play real football. And that's. Yeah, that's true. That's a fact. Well, that's for single moms to raise their little boys to not get hurt.

[Brady Bogan]

There's one or two really good athletes. They're just not.

[John Holmberg]

They're not good enough.

[Brady Bogan]

Good enough to be regular football.

[John Holmberg]

And you know why? Because they've been single momed from ever being athletes. They're probably want to play. And all it would have taken was a dad on hand. And I'm not blaming the moms. Where's dad? Dad on hand to go. All right, let's hone some of these skills. So they might have had something. But the end of a mom was like, I don't want you in those pads and getting hit and oh my gosh.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So who's coaching flag football? Guy who doesn't want to coach helmeted football. It's usually probably a parent, maybe a girl. And that's for. Flag football's for. It is kind of gay in the first place. It's for the kids who don't. They're not allowed to wear the uniform. It's if my mom.

[Brady Bogan]

It's fun to see the. All the objs and just mimicking everything.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. Because they can't. There's no risk. Without my dad, my mom would have never let me out on a field ever. I was little. She would have been scared to death the whole time. My dad's like, but they're wearing pants. I mean, how hard did you. You should be fine. And then she was right. Because when I was 15 and had one workout, I broke my arm and turned out mom was right. But I learned okay. I'm not big enough. That was me. I'm like, I'm not big enough to play right now. I didn't develop quick enough in high school and these guys had shot past me. So it was a smart thing on. It was my decision, but it was a smart thing to say. You're not. You're going to get killed out here. Wasn't fast enough. I wasn't. It was just. Wasn't good enough.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I was just. Before all the head trauma.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you were smashing faces into walls. I was a. I could just throw the ball a mile. That was it. That was my. I could chuck a ball forever, but I was not big enough to. I would have gotten killed out there.

[Brady Bogan]

4 foot 1 defensive end just squatting balls down.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what? You know what I knew not to do? Play flag football and let people know about it. That is so Gay. That is just insanely. That's brunch. Gay. That's gay. Then Dan would have really been questioning you if I'd have said, dad, I'm sorry. He would have said, why aren't you playing real football? Knowing that even with a cast on, I'm gonna sign up for flag football. What, are you scared of the other boy? Jesus. Thought I only had one daughter. Let me tell you something. When you get tackled, does your. Does it move? Do you get aroused? Stop. Well, that's the only reason to play flag football is guys tugging away at things hanging off your waist. Weirdo. But, yeah, so I saw that yesterday. I just shook my head and I'm like, am I. Am I a better person than everyone else in the world? And I had to really contemplate that for a couple hours. I think the answer is yes, because I was the only one saying, this isn't what we're shooting for. This is. This is getting rid of people from something. Instead of including everyone, which is what everybody who screams what we have. We have to include everyone. Nobody should. It shouldn't be based on who you have sex with. That's. Their whole argument is, don't do things based on my sexuality. Let me do what. Let me do all of it. Gay football.

[Brady Bogan]

But if you're looking to meet other.

[John Holmberg]

People, that's what it really is. Is when it turns out later on is what it really is. It's just a giant dating service or orgy. And there's where the NFL wasn't. Oh, it's Grindr, basically. Basically Live Grinder, because then you can't make a mistake or harass anybody that doesn't want to know. Man, I'm straight as an arrow. I'm just a wide receiver. I would again. I might go to one of the games just to hear the screaming and the cackling.

[Brady Bogan]

Check out Las Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Vegas has a good. Has a good squad. I don't know. It's the All African American who can jump the highest brought to you by Disney. It's the Tigger Games. Don't do this. You're ruining it. Don't do this. The flag football for gays. You're asking for it, and it's. You're gonna. And I think it's bait. I think. Don't fall for it. It's a trap. But yeah, as long as Frank Vogel gets fired, I don't care what you do. Just get rid of that guy before you should. Got till MLK day. So one more week, and then we're done with him. I'll give you a week. You got seven days. That's it. That's it. Another week of Frank Vogel messing up this glorious team. Dom wants to know if they changed positions in this flag football. Because you know there's no tight end in gay flag football. This is what I'm talking about. Gay flag football. You're asking for this.

[Brady Bogan]

They're all wide receivers.

[John Holmberg]

You think we don't sit here and pretend all this bigotry and nonsense is terrible. But deep down just whisper it to each other. You see the game. Football league. Flag football for kids. You know what we call it? Yes. There's no tight end. Yes. We know. The tight end jokes are coming.

[Brady Bogan]

Throws a tight spiral.

[John Holmberg]

He's been playing the entire game. He needs a blow. Oh. Oh. Oh. That means rest in straight football. What are you talking about? That defensive end's been coming in his face all day. Okay. That's what Chris Collinsworth always says. But that's for straight football.

[Brady Bogan]

The teams don't like him. He has too quick of a release.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. It's true. See? Low hanging fruit jokes. I don't know. I just shook my head like I was. I felt like they were. It was. It's a trap. It's a trap. But I do want to watch their tryouts. You're not gay. Prove it. Like make everybody prove it. Don't you? This is a. This is trafficking. You're human trafficking.

[Brady Bogan]

Pull you from quarterback. You're just a little too risky on your throw.

[John Holmberg]

All right. All right. We're through it now. That's enough. Get back to firing Frank Vogel. Get rid of him. He can go coach a gay basketball team. Yeah. An all gay league. We already had that. It's called the wnba. And I don't know why they don't. At least the WNBA doesn't scream it the whole time. We all know you can't have that many bi level haircuts and not be the gay league. But it is. And they don't sit and scream it. Although they're pretty friendly to the community. I just. I don't get it. I thought it was. I thought gays would be on my side on this one. It's like why are we isolating ourselves and stuff? You can have a gay commissioner and say yeah. It's the only league in sports. That's. But it's flag football. So we already know it's kind of gay. It's like nine foot rim basketball. You can play on the real baskets with men or you can play on the little. You know, I believe I can fly the under six, six foot white guy basketball league. I used to love it until I started to play with real basketball players. I was playing on that nine foot thing quite a bit and we were feeling pretty good about ourselves. And then we broke over to the tens to actually play real basketball. And we were, we were out of practice. We were clanking a lot of shots off the front of that rim because we were playing, you know, T ball basically. And we were grown up and we had no business playing T ball on the baby courts anyway. I don't get it. I just don't get it. But they have like a big championship, like supposed to be huge. I didn't know about this. This is Gable 24S in Austin in October 31st through November 3rd this year.

[Brady Bogan]

Austin's last name.

[John Holmberg]

Not even a sporting event.

[Brady Bogan]

Phoenix Association.

[John Holmberg]

The Gable three times.

[Brady Bogan]

John.

[John Holmberg]

What is the Gable?

[Brady Bogan]

That's the big championship where they do the open. We don't have a team.

[John Holmberg]

There's four, like men's championships for flag football, B, C and D league, and.

[Brady Bogan]

The women's have A, B and C leagues as well.

[John Holmberg]

We don't even have a team. Yeah, we do. Not on the list. We did it.

[Brady Bogan]

Phoenix does.

[John Holmberg]

There's listed on there?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my goodness. I didn't see it. But again, probably I wasn't looking too far. But if you have gay football coming to town, you. You scramble a team together mighty fast.

[Brady Bogan]

In fact, if I, if I remember right, I think last year or the.

[John Holmberg]

Year before the, the. Oh, there we are. Who is it? What's the team name? Oh, that's. They didn't pay their bill.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

For their website.

[Brady Bogan]

But they pay for their website.

[John Holmberg]

You click on it. They didn't pay for their website. Must have been sponsored by BS West. They went out of business. No, that could be. Yeah, same owners. Oh, it's the Phoenix Jackers. I gotta give them credit for their name. They just, they went right after it anyway. And then, you know, if you're gonna advertise, that means they got some money. It was a big NFL like the, the. The daytime Jags Titans game. And as we all know, God hates Jags, so you gotta be careful with that. In the gay football league now it's.

[Brady Bogan]

Part of the Pro Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

That'll be what it. Well, the Pro bowl is where it's at. And I've noticed that too. I brought that up at the beginning of the year. I'm like, you've seen an awful lot of commercials for flag football, haven't you like normalizing flag football? The NFL doesn't want to pay for any more of these medical bills after these guys retire eventually. Isn't flag football maybe more fun televised? They're going to get some things in there, but they made it gay right away, so I'm not so sure. Well, if you watch tv, the future is definitely. George wants to know if Tucson has a team. The Tucson Twinks. All right. I'm like, all right, here we go. This is what I'm saying, Brett. I didn't say it. You're gonna get crushed by this. This is, this is right in his wheelhouse. Because yesterday when I saw the commercial, I'm like, oh, Brett. Cuz I knew immediately there was. Yeah, I knew there was a problem. You heard me at your house laughing. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, ah, God damn it, Brett. Cuz I think of Brett when I see that stuff, I'm like, I know what. I know real human beings and I know what they do with stuff like this. Cuz I'm one of them. I just have class and decorum and I think about it and then look at the guy who's gonna say it and go, you can't say it. Just think it. Here they come.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait till they start getting sacks.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, exactly. Yeah, it's gonna be one of those. Stop it. He just ran out onto the field. Oh, we do. I just. It's. He said there's the runny back, not running back. I don't. I don't even know what that means. That's gross. I don't think you give him the ball to the running back. Austin, that's disgusting. And again, listen to him cackling over there. This is for him.

[Brady Bogan]

It's these people.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not these. You don't say that either.

[Brady Bogan]

This guy's emailing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you meant the game. These people in their league, you just don't say it. You don't offer it up to people like him. I'm an observer. I understand human behavior. And I'm like, oh, the brats of the world. And there's more of them than anyone else. If I didn't have stuff to lose, I'd be a Brett. And they are flying in too. I am a Brett. I just know better. Stop it. I don't even know. I mean, slot receiver, double reverse. No, I'm not watching that play. Do they have cheerleaders? People say, what do their cheerleaders look like? Pretty much the Cheerleaders of the NFL now and the Suns, they got dudes dancing like crazy. Here's what I don't understand about the gay cheerleader. They've just assimilated to the girl cheers. They've added nothing. So when they all stand in a line, I've noticed this with the sons thing. They do the thing where their leg goes in front of the other. Like when you know. And their hands on your hips. And then you try to look slimmer. But you know how girls do pictures. Whenever you see. Take a picture of a girl, if she has any decency or pride, like. Or She's a good one. She hasn't quit on anything. She does that sideways turn. And then the front leg goes in front of the back leg and kind of the head. I don't even know about the head. It's all about body. I don't care. I don't pay attention to the head anyway. I didn't really have heads. They put a foot in front of the other, and they go a little sideways. And it's supposed to slim them. One foot goes in front. It's like a modeling trick that all halfway decent girls do. So why do the boy cheerleaders do that? Why are they trying to look more narrow? They do exactly what the girls do. It would be different if they showed up and said, hey, we're here because we're guy cheerleaders and we want to make a difference and change things up. They came in and they just do what the girls do. They've done zero. They just do the exact same moves they do the.

[Brady Bogan]

Because they're a team, John.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's the point, though. A team. You take advantage of what this guy can do. They do the hair flips and the arched backs. And I'm like, you're doing girl cheers. At least in college, boy cheerleaders throw the girls around like they're playing purpose is their masculinity is actually playing a part. You go to the Suns game. And again a couple years ago, Eric Hard Times Moreno was the best one on the floor. Sexiest, too. Like, the dude did the moves better. And Brett went with me once. He was like, jesus, you're right. Dude is awesome. He added something. You go now, and it's just like, they do the. And they do the palm cheers. And it's weird. Go out there and chuck one of the sun's dances around. Although I'll say this in the modern day and age, pick and choose wisely on which sons dancer you're gonna throw, because There's a couple of them out there, Biggins. A couple as big as me. So anyway, the whole world's just gone.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of injuries.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Brett, I'm gonna do it. Somebody wanted to know if these team names were up there on the board. Okay. Really? The Prolapse Pokers? You think they're gonna. Herbert Newton. You think that they're gonna call a team Herbert Newton? Herbert Newton. You email in Herbert Newton with the nerve to make fun of something as horrible as your childhood had to be being named Herbert Newton. Herbert Newton doesn't have any empathy for being teased. You spent 30 years being teased, Herbert.

[Brady Bogan]

Why'd you use my name, bro?

[John Holmberg]

It ain't funny, man. How do you read the other names I wrote down? All right. Herbert Newton also suggests the Ass Blasters. It's not even like legitimately creative.

[Brady Bogan]

Herbert.

[John Holmberg]

The Pro ass pokers is pretty funny, though. Every first day of school. Of course that's funny. The Prolapse Pokers. He should have stuck with Ass Blasters one too many. Every first day of school from kindergarten to about ninth grade. Herbert Newton. The whole class laughs. Your real name's Herbert. Shut up, dicks. I vow to never make fun of anybody who's struggled again in life. It's too hard. Hey, Holmberg, you know the Gay Football League? All right, what is it, Herbert? Prolapse Pokers. All right, come on. You can't sit back and share in their pain. Finally, a sport I can get behind. Signed tranny Rob. We haven't heard from him in a while. Oh, my God. It's just embarrassing. So that's the world we live in. And I'm the. Here's the problem with society. I'm the decent person. I'm the one that looks at it and says, you know, this is a step backwards. This is isolation. This is exclusion. This is not what you. What you. Your very group screams all the time is, we want inclusion in all things. And then they'll cry back. Well, we want a right to have our own things too. All right, then what. What if we had straight football? What if we did that? And I don't like the argument when people are like, bet. And then there's. I was gonna say don't go there. No. Cuz it doesn't make sense. Cuz for since the beginning of tv, it has been white television. You just don't realize it because you're not black. You talk to a black person and go, what do you think I had in common with Seinfeld friends? Like, it's True. Like, there is an outlet. Like, there was never. Sanford and Son was such a remarkable show because it's like, what is this? And everybody could relate to it. But again, every time they were on tv, they were broke. Good times. Sanford and Son. It was like the, you know, the Jeffersons. The Jeffersons showed up and.

[Brady Bogan]

But all their friends. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they hit it big and moved away, so. Yeah, so I understand. Bet the whole, you know, that's not exclusion. That's just we're gonna do something that looks a little more like us. And I do gay tv. Go ahead, have at it. You got it. But gay flag football is the whole opposite of. Because there's certain things that gay people are entertained by that I'm not cherishing. You know, cooking shows. There's stuff that I don't care about that gays love. So put that all on there now. That's fine. It's targeting. It's targeting an audience. I get that. That's money. Gay football excludes stuff. I would like to be in a league that's just all heterosexuals co ed. It's called beer league softball. They have it on Thursday nights. You just go do that and you try to bang the hot girl that's in center field that like, may or may not be on your team. You know? Can a straight guy break into gay football without doing stuff? What if I really wanted to play in this league, like, for the team, you know, somebody's going to. Well, I would love to, like, have fun. They'll. They'll. They'll tell them. We'll get you. Don't you worry. And on a weekend where BS west closes now, where do they go after the games? That lodge over there they called the Moose Lodge. Is that what it was? What was that one over there on 52nd Street? Oh, Newtown Saloon. Yeah, that's right. That's right. My buddy Jose was at the house for the Steelers game Saturday. He goes, I'm surprised you didn't know about the Newtown Saloon. And I said, hey, them's fighting words. What do you mean? And he goes, oh, that place has been legendary for years. I'm like, oh, he used to watch football there. I'm like, no kids, kid. Because we didn't know it was a gay bar until, like, later they started putting all the flags up and stuff. And I'm like, yeah, that's a good sign. Yeah, because it would. It said the oldest gay bar in Phoenix or something, 70 years old. Anyway. Well, that's where you can go after your gay football League party. And I think it would probably be a fun party, but just call it flag football, and we'll call it what it really is. It's 619 prolapsed pokers. Lots of matter with you. This guy wants to know, does Brady want a team from Uranus? I was like, here we go. I'm surprised you didn't try that yet.

[Brady Bogan]

It's international.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's.

[Brady Bogan]

Extraterrestrials have decided again, win it every. Every year.

[John Holmberg]

Would they win it every year? Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. It's good to be on top, isn't it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town. And the best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, A Scientific study of Beer goggles. They studied a bunch of people again. Well, no, this is like a real. Like, what does it do? And they. They've discovered that it changes. But there's an argument. Like, I immediately had an argument to the tv. So they say that when you drink too much, people will become more attractive. And then that's why you make the mistake of finding someone attractive when you're drunk.

[Brady Bogan]

You lower your standards.

[John Holmberg]

And then the next morning, you're like, oh, no, what have I done? Like, this is. She's disgusting. They say that beer and alcohol will change the asymmetry of a face, which is what is technically what makes someone attractive, which is why I'm unattractive. I look like I've had Bell's palsy several different times and sort of recovered. Like, half of my face is shaped totally different than the other. My eyes are in the wrong spot. So that's symmetry. Your face has. Both sides are as similar as possible. That's. That tends to make you more attractive. My nose is crooked. I'm way off. I'm way off. I'm poorly built. But alcohol will fix that. They did prove that alcohol will take the asymmetry, the problems, and put it together to where it's like, this is what it should look like, what it doesn't do. And they discovered this. Thousands of people, they get them drunk and, like, show them pictures of people. And, you know, they'd rate them beforehand and then rate them after they went up drinking. And everybody that was ugly got a little boost. What it didn't do, and this is why I don't think it's real, is it doesn't make better looking people worse. I was gonna say, what about these broads that filter everything? And then you get on Facebook and, like, oh, whoa. Right. It doesn't change like it, it's so you'd think it would constantly be a thing they said. It's not. It's essentially the whole study was it's still up to you to make the right decisions in life. And, you know, maybe it's attractive, maybe it's not, but know what you're doing and know that when you get drunk, you're gonna probably.

[Brady Bogan]

It, I mean, they say kind of lowers your judgmental standards.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it just, it makes sense when.

[Brady Bogan]

You'Re a little more flexible.

[John Holmberg]

When you're drunk, your inhibitions are definitely different and you're, you're more likely to do something you wouldn't normally do, especially because you're kind of having a good time. Your body feels relaxed, and then you lean more towards the idea of, you know what feel great right now? Humping. Which drunk to that degree rarely is that good. But you know, then you start looking around.

[Brady Bogan]

Anybody tonight?

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah. And that's the whole point. You get drunk, everybody gets a little bit better looking. Everybody's. The key to it is everybody's a little more fun when they're drunk. Because the last thing you want is somebody sober around when everybody else has had some pops. Because then you start to see what, like the boring thing, and then you move on. But they said that, and I'm like, well, if that was the case, then if it's true that beer goggles are real, then when you put them on and look at somebody who's attractive, it would change them too. It would take somebody who is symmetrical. Well, no, it would make them worse because if they're symmetrically all right already, it would start moving them the other way, wouldn't it? Like if you're, if you're scooting, you know, like eyes that aren't exactly right and your nose is crooked and it fixes that, wouldn't it take somebody who's, who's good and over correct and over correct? Like if that's the case, if it.

[Brady Bogan]

And they didn't really address that.

[John Holmberg]

No, they just basically said it's only for ugly people. Beer goggles are only for ugly people. Good looking people are good looking. If you've got beer goggles or not. Well, then there's no. Then there's no beer goggles. Then it's eliminated. Then it's just your inhibitions have gone, ah, screw it. I'll take that one. Deep down, you know, when you're drunk, this chick is probably a little bigger than my norm. Don't care Then the next morning, when you lift those sheets up and look, and it's like, oh, my, what have I done? And you've got that parachute panties on the ground. And I've never done that. Thank God. I've never been.

[Brady Bogan]

I've always a crutch on that one.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you blame alcohol for you just being weak.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I have always been a strong drunk. Always. I've always had that rule that ever since my friend was accused by those two guys at the restaurant when they came in and said, we're gonna come in and talk to you a little bit about rape. What? Because he had sex with a girl who was drunk. And then I found out the law that if a girl who's drunk has sex and then changes her mind a couple days later, you raped her. That's a very real rule. So my rule was, if she's got a few pops in her, don't touch her. She can change your mind after you're done.

[Brady Bogan]

Does that work the other way, too? Like, if you end up taking some.

[John Holmberg]

Uggo home and then you say that she raped you? Great question. She took advantage of the fact I was drunk. I don't think. Come on, officer.

[Brady Bogan]

Would I really do that?

[John Holmberg]

Right? And that's the one rule I've always had, is like, I hope I get a male judge. That I'd be like, come on. You think I. You think I volunteered for this? Something was going on. But the beer goggle study was very interesting because it was. It only worked on ugly people. It was only for people who were disgusting. And they're like, yeah, but they basically debunked that beer goggles are why you make the decision. Like, they're like, no, that's still you. Deep down. They found that everybody in the study was like, I knew what I was doing. Yeah, but she seemed better than she was. And I think that's more like a personality thing.

[Brady Bogan]

It was fun that night. Next morning was weird.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're having fun. Well, it's true, because you're kind of hungover. You're sober again. Decisions are being analyzed. When you're drunk, you don't really analyze your decisions. She offers to make you breakfast out of the trough that's in her kitchen. And, you know, I mean, yeah, by all means, go to her place. Oh, yeah, you don't want to know when you live. Take the hard home, they said, what makes people.

[Brady Bogan]

Plus back then, you haven't changed your sheets in two months.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. Back when you were younger and doing that kind of stuff. They said that alcohol did impair face symmetry detection. It has no influence on facial attractive judgments. You still know what ugly is. You still know what pretty is. You're just more tolerant of things that you'd normally dismiss. So, so it isn't beer goggles. You still see the same thing, but you're like, eh, why not? So you do a little bit more. I'll throw it in that. What the hell? It's sort of like gambling.

[Brady Bogan]

You're either winning the El Cortez.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Right. You're throwing $5 on the table. You're like, ah, screw it, 100 bucks. It's that decision. It's like, I normally wouldn't do this, but they ran a field experiment and helped determine why people often experience unexpected and regretted sexual escapades when they're drinking. And it was basically just saying it's, it has nothing to do with you finding the person attractive. It has everything to do with you just being, you know, more willing to let go, lower your standards. Well, you don't, when you're drunk, you don't analyze well. If I do this, this will happen. You don't go down.

[Brady Bogan]

It seems like it would be fun.

[John Holmberg]

You're cognitive, afterwards, your cognitive reasoning and all the things are like, yeah, I shouldn't, I should probably not do this, this because she's gonna say something to me and then she might think, you don't care about the repercussions, you just do it. But. And I also think that beer goggles are. And if it's only for ugly people, then it's not a thing. Because if it only makes ugly people better looking, what does it do to better looking people? It should, it should either make them goofy looking or what? Like you'd wake up, you very rarely would wake up next to somebody and go, geez, she's a, a lot better looking than what I remember last night. But it could be said that it works both ways though too, because it may give you the courage to step out of your normal realm. Like, you know, the, the, the nine that's over there and you know, you're usually pulling a seven, you know, or.

[Brady Bogan]

Whatever she has to regret the next morning.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. She's got a couple pops, she's got the beer goggles on, wakes up next to John C. Reilly. Really good time last night. Thanks for coming by. What have I done? You have to keep it down. Yeah, but that's for women. That. What was that movie with Seth Rogen and he knocked her up.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot her name, but she was really hot.

[Brady Bogan]

Catherine Heigl.

[John Holmberg]

Katherine Heigl. And they had that thing where they were going to try to make a relationship out of their beer night. And I'm like, this is the dumbest movie I've ever watched in my life. Just doesn't happen. But, yeah, for women to do it. But that's the thing. A woman can just leave. And a guy's like, ah, she. I banged her. That's all we can. We did it. And she leaves a guy. A girl, like, won't go away. Like, she can confuse that whole night for that connection. For, like, you. It meant something. And you got to be careful with that. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erected. All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Hombre's morning sickness. This segment's brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop, of course. Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. April Foolios, as I like to call it. And it's a day where we just. We kind of always frown on it because being radio DJs, people always do radio DJ, April Fool's Day things. They're really dumb usually. But when stuff happens, like when we had, you know, Gordon and the interest in the teenage girl, and it works out nicely. It's a brilliant trick. Yeah, it's not set up when it's just kind of happens. Yeah, it's got to just happen. April Fool's Day just has to happen. You just have to be always prepared that it's April Fool's. Whenever you set stuff up, it usually just goes wrong. Whenever you set stuff up, you usually are sucking helium and telling jokes and then. So awesome. It's. It's 9:26, and April Fool's Day happened to us just moments ago, and we turned it around on. Are we ready to go? It's all plugged in. Yeah, it's ready. All right. Toledo's got it all edited up. Good job, Torgy. And we're ready to rock with this whole thing. This lady Called up and it happens here and again that she thought she was listening to another station. She's clearly not listening to 98, KUPD, but we make it clear who she's listening to, and then we ruin her life. It's Wacky Morning show game contestant on the line for April Fool's Day. Go ahead. Hey, thanks for calling. You're on with us. Who's this? This is Janet, Jan, favorite station. 98.

[Brady Bogan]

The Peak.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, baby. That's what we're talking about over here at the peak. That's right. 70s, 80s, or whatever we want to do. All right, now you're ready to go. Now, you think you're going to win this money, right? I better. Now, what you got here is you're the correct caller, but you've got to get through two little gauntlets that we're going to put in front of you here. Are you ready, lady? Oh, I hope. All right, first off, we're just going to say that you've won the $125, correct? Okay, yes. If you want to keep the 125, you can. Or a new game we like to play here at the Peak called Deal or no Deal. I have a briefcase that could be filled with $100,000. Okay. Do you want to try to see what's in the briefcase? Now, it's not going to be less than $125, but it could be zero. No deal. You're saying no deal. You'd rather have the $125? All right, let me sweeten the pot just a little bit. Okay, we will give you the $125 and take. Only take the $125,000 away. $125 away only if you have the hundred thousand dollars or a prize inside the suitcase.

[Brady Bogan]

Go for the prize.

[John Holmberg]

You're guaranteed a prize of at least $125 of value. I'll go for the prize, everybody. All right, let's crack the case open and see what you've got. Okay. All right. Well, what was your name again? Janet. Janet. I'm so excited.

[Brady Bogan]

Me, too.

[John Holmberg]

Let's crack the case open. Let's see what you've got. Okay. No way is it the hundred thousand dollars, is it? Oh, no. But you did win $200 worth of pornographic DVDs, all right. Including such great movies as Hard act to Swallow, hung Wankerstein, Buttsluts 13, Planet of the Gapes, Journey to the center of the Ass, and Black Homie Invasion. All right, Just what I want. It's perfect for you on those Lonely nights when you need a little rod and a little rod isn't there. All right. All right. To you. Well, hang on just a second. We're gonna get your phone number and maybe even your address. Cause I'm gonna pop over to your house while you're getting all randy watching these movies and maybe try to slide a couple knuckles in. Oh, gosh. Hot diggity dam. What's Your favorite station? 98. The Peak. You're right. Poor lady. April Fool. There's our April Fool. We don't like to do the April Fools, but when they happen, they're worse.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a good one.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. That poor lady is just reeling in her home right now going, why did Peter Mignella. She wants those DVDs, though. She's gonna be down there.

[Brady Bogan]

Sounded like she trying to get those. Happy with the prize.

[John Holmberg]

She did kind of seem down with the whole porn DVD thing. Maybe she should be listening to KUPD 98, KUPD, 70s, 80s and whatever we want. And Gay Blackboard. Works for me. If it's 98 KUPD, happy April Fool's Day. Especially that lady Holmberg's morning sickness. Then yes, we will put the call from the ladies at the wrong station up on our website. I get a lot of emails already about that one. It's always fun, though. What a treat. And now who will she complain to? Us or them? Hopefully them. Yeah, but if she complains to us, what does she complain about? Because she will complain. If she comes down here, I will give her some of my.

[Brady Bogan]

She won't complain. I think she'll laugh at it.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Well, let's hope so. I will hook her up. All right. You'll give her some of your porn collection? Oh, yeah. Do you have a couple of the selections that she won, Eric? Which ones were they again? Well, she won Black homie invasion, but sluts 13, Planet of the Gapes 2. I think I might have one of the Butt Sluts. Cause Planet of the Gapes 2, a journey to the center of the Ass. Won't make sense unless you've seen Planet of the Gates one. That's true. I have a. Screw My wife, please. Would you like that one? Get your paws off me. Damn dirty Gapes.

[Brady Bogan]

Hung Wankerstein.

[John Holmberg]

Hung Wankerstein. Hard act to swallow. You might have all those. What is Hung Wankerstein? It's Jewish gay porn.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I guess so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Have to ask Larry about it.

[John Holmberg]

I have to see if Larry's got one. Arizona's most powerful rock radio Station, he said fully erect. Chew and poop.

[Brady Bogan]

That's all they do.

[John Holmberg]

That's all they're good for. Chewing and pooping. The best of homework's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. Time now for Brady to give us the news no one else will. We like to call it the Brady Report. Brady, please report.

[Brady Bogan]

I take you to the island nation of Cyprus. It's a Greek island.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

Where a mature minx, a milf, happily gave the business to 10 Greek soldiers based on the island and one all night long train pulling romp.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good woman. For the military, ladies. For the military.

[Brady Bogan]

Apparently she was insatiable. It wasn't like the soldiers ganged up on her. On the contrary. According to the Cyprus newspaper.

[John Holmberg]

That's good newspaper.

[Brady Bogan]

The soldiers formed an orderly line outside the room waiting to have sex one by one. At one point, two soldiers came along and served food.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brady Bogan]

The soldiers, who ranged from fresh recruits to commanding officers, could have hit it and broken away clean. But one of them recorded some video with his phone and sent it to some other recruits.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, it sucks to be at the end of that one.

[Brady Bogan]

The army bigwigs heard about the video, saw what happened happen.

[John Holmberg]

I drew number 10.

[Brady Bogan]

Punish the soldiers by banishing them to remote parts of the island away from all the delectable and desperate housewives.

[John Holmberg]

Cyprus isn't that big. You can walk back to her house from wherever. Remote part of the island.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, swim, whatever, to the other islands.

[John Holmberg]

By the time number 10 gets there, she's covered. Yeah, she's just. She looks like a Krispy Kreme. As you. Nice and warm, probably. Yeah, she's warm all right. I like Krispy Kremes. What the hell?

[Brady Bogan]

And it's Christmas catalog this year, boys. Neiman Marcus is selling a Sky Car.

[John Holmberg]

Like a crispy dream. My visual on that is nasty. Eric. Thank you. I'll never look at a donut the same again. No, I'm not gonna eat Krispy Kremes anymore. Say that again, Brady. Because Eric's ruined Krispy Kreme Dog nuts.

[Brady Bogan]

Neiman Marcus is selling a Sky Car, which is a flying car.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that on the news the other day.

[Brady Bogan]

Going for 3.5 million.

[John Holmberg]

It works.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it works, my friend. This car has a vertical takeoff and landings just like a Blackhawk helicopter. Goes 350 miles per hour, gets 21 miles per gallon.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

The Sky Car isn't being mass produced yet, but Neiman Marcus is actually selling off the working prototype. A catalog claims that these cars should become available over the public for the next three years.

[John Holmberg]

About damn time. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But the only downside of having this downside of the sky car is you have tons of permits to use because.

[John Holmberg]

You'Re gonna be a pilot.

[Brady Bogan]

One from the faa got a picture of her.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that thing. The Neiman Marcus catalog. It's the. The cheapest thing and it's like $35 and it's this dumb pencil. But then everything else is like a million bucks. But I saw the sky car and it looks cool. It's bright red. It's got two big fans on the back and it just float. They only have a drawing though. I don't actually see it like the.

[Brady Bogan]

Real one working in the world of road rage. Just put this one in the, I don't know, piss off basket. The line. He's developed a new black box for cards that actually will tell you will monitor your speed and then narc on you to the cops. When you break the speed limit. They're going to use a GPS type box in there and it has a rundown of all the speed limits in whatever area you're traveling. As soon as your car goes over the speed limit of whatever, maybe they give you a 5 mile per hour allowance. The box sends a signal to police and you get a ticket automatically sent to your house. They don't even have to patrol the roads anymore.

[John Holmberg]

The cops don't have to do anything as far as. See now that's the only thing about the cops job I think is absolutely necessary is they gotta catch me. Yeah, really. You know, can't make it that easy. Speeding. You can't have a. Your car can't tattle on you. That's terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

The limey department of transportation has commissioned the company to work on the black box. But they haven't said when it might start going in the cars again.

[John Holmberg]

You imagine how many tickets there would be. You know how great the state of California is for the speeding thing. It's like all of every citizen of California got together and said screw the speed limit. We're going to go as fast as we can. Just keep up. Everybody knows that rule. Just, just keep up. And the cops gave up. The cops don't do tickets on the freeways anymore because it would slow things down. You can go like 80 on that freeway. Nobody's gonna move.

[Brady Bogan]

Can move along pretty good on our do pretty good here.

[John Holmberg]

But then you run into the people that are obeying the laws that are wrecking it for the rest of us. Whenever you see that cop on the.

[Brady Bogan]

Freeway and what's amazing is the accident that happens. And then when you finally go, you're like, traffic's been slow for a while. And you finally get up there, and still it's on the side of the road. And it still comes to a. Yep.

[John Holmberg]

There'S a dude changing a tire with another car behind him on the 143 the other day, and it backed things up for, like, people get freaked out here. They. Oh, my God. A little rain. A little rain. Somebody get down to 20. Why is he pulled over? Should I pulled over? I don't know what's going on. I better stop the car on the freeway and take a look. Just everybody goes 80. That's the rule. Some people are gonna go a little faster, but don't go slower than 80. And the cops will just say, look, we're out. What number?

[Brady Bogan]

Next lane over can be 70.

[John Holmberg]

No, everything's got to be 80, because, Brady, you got those people like Dana Bodine, our sales manager, who followed me home yesterday.

[Brady Bogan]

I wouldn't put it at 80.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

Because I don't. I think there's just not enough skilled drivers to handle 80.

[John Holmberg]

Go to California. It's unbelievable.

[Brady Bogan]

Let alone trying to do the 55 out here.

[John Holmberg]

It's hard. It's harder to drive here than it.

[Brady Bogan]

Is drive effectively at 55, get off the road.

[John Holmberg]

I. I see. But I think. Think the problem is you got too many people going 70, and then too many people that think 55 is as fast as they go. Dana Bodine, our sales guy yesterday, a sales manager. Super general sales manager Dana Bodine. He had to follow me home. I'm going 56 miles an hour. 56.

[Brady Bogan]

Which is speeding because you didn't want to lose them.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, it was speeding. Two. What was I on, like, 48th Street? Yeah, it's 45 miles an hour. So I slow down a little bit. I get down to 50, and he's still falling behind. I'm like, all right, well, whatever. So we get to the light. We get on the freeway, the 143 start going. I'm up to 63 miles an hour, and I've lost him. He's a cruiser that day. Now he's at big time. He gets to my house and goes, right here. A hard time finding your place because you had to speed all the way home. Like, Dana was going eight miles an hour over the speed limit. Not what I had you clocked at. What. What you. Your speedometers off. And then driving with him to the place we went was just brutal. Tell you you're all right.

[Brady Bogan]

You have a couple. You have a couple of fast lanes like the Audubon in Germany, and it hums along.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you let you know. And then it just becomes common knowledge that one lane is first. But people don't understand that if you had two lanes at a certain speed and another at one. This place out here, everybody. Nobody'd get it.

[Brady Bogan]

Across the country, companies are having their employees sign love contracts. What are those? When two employees start dating, they're expected to report it to their company and then sign a contract that promises the relationship is consensual and neither person is being sexually harassed. The whole reason behind it and why more and more companies are jumping aboard.

[John Holmberg]

He's.

[Brady Bogan]

On average, a legit sexual harassment suit against the company or employee cost the company around 250 grand. So more and more companies are having these love contracts since, you know, in office dating.

[John Holmberg]

Still the reason why women should never have been in the office. That's the biggest reason why women should have never been allowed in the office. I'm right, Eric, because all it did was cause guys to get boners at work.

[Brady Bogan]

Career builder survey finds. Keep them at home.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

50% of U.S. workers say they've dated a co worker.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And it's nothing but trouble.

[Brady Bogan]

14% dated their boss. Almost 33% have dated two or more.

[John Holmberg]

Co workers because it makes it uncomfortable for everyone else, too. We've been there. But it's so easy to pick up chicks at work. Yeah. Because there's chicks at work readily available. In the olden days, there was just. Just one chick at work and the boss had at her and that was it. Those were the good old days. It is kind of funny, though, the drama that ensues it in the workplace. Women have been at the workplace. Yeah. Remember the old days when guys, you just go out and have scotch for lunch, come back to work. We're not gonna do a thing today because no one's here to nag us. Yeah. If we went back to the 50s, things would be much better. Oh, Eric, you and me. Hopefully our God Zeus will take us there. Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Saying till death do us part. It's part of a wedding vow. It's been around for that, I don't know, a long time, but it's all lies now. Around the country, more and more people are leaving till death do us part out of their marriage vows and hedging their bets. And in this place, they're saying, for as long as we continue to love each other or for as long as Our love shall last, why bother? Or until our time together is over.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Talk about quitting before you start.

[Brady Bogan]

And then there's this one. For as long as our love shall continue to serve the greater good.

[John Holmberg]

So long as it's. As long as there's something in it for me. Why don't they just say what they mean? Just say all praise Zeus. So long as I still get something out of you.

[Brady Bogan]

All praise Zeus.

[John Holmberg]

That's ridiculous. Is that real?

[Brady Bogan]

That's real. There's a lady, New Jersey wedding expert, Sharon Naylor. She's an author of a book. Your special wedding vows we're hearing as long as our love shall last.

[John Holmberg]

A lot.

[Brady Bogan]

She says that's. I personally think it's quite a statement. In today's times, people know the odds of divorce.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. So people are just basically saying that they're weddings now.

[Brady Bogan]

Until the good time is over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Until I'm pretty much finished draining you of everything you've got.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's take your parents for a little ride in this reception.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Let's just throw a twenty thousand dollar party and roll baby. Till this party is over.

[Brady Bogan]

In a new study, more than 11,000 people that partook in the study, University College of London. Hello. Hello. 10% of women said that having a job, a husband and kids has destroyed their sex drive beyond all recognition. In fact, those 10% say they lost all interest in relations for at least six months last year. 4% of married working women with kids also say they have serious problems achieving a climax.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Come on women. It's your own fault, ladies. Ridiculous. Pull your heads out and do what you were doing 35 years ago, which is hanging around the house waiting to get laid rather than this jobby job haver. Here's why this happens, ladies. You don't give it to him. So he's got all this build up and finally when you do, he's blowing in a minute. Yeah, it's true. He's a two. He's a two pump chump. And then you're just laying there going this isn't what I remember. Where's the. Give it to him consistently. Yeah, where's the magic? You'll be getting your lights banged out. The magic disappeared the minute you let your ass get hugh. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Cuz Eric's been a veteran, right? Married.

[John Holmberg]

I. You know what? He's right. I'm telling you, as a veteran of marriage, he's right. Thank you, John. He's absolutely right. It becomes a treat rather than just a thing that you do.

[Brady Bogan]

For some.

[John Holmberg]

No, for A good portion, there's a nice portion out there. And then the guy. You know what's even worse? When you see a guy defeated who just says, I don't have sex, I'm married. And we've, we've just quit on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's some guys that like to say that.

[John Holmberg]

I know some dudes love it, it's pitiful. And then the next thing you know, they're blaming you. Oh, we don't ever have that. That's why you go get it somewhere else. That's exactly why they stray, guys and girls. Why? Mostly though, why men do. Because that lady at home has made sex a big deal and won't give it to you.

[Brady Bogan]

Lori Blake.

[John Holmberg]

You want it? Derek, lay down.

[Brady Bogan]

Lori Blake's a judge in Sherman, Texas. She's achieved every parent's dream. I guess she's made it illegal for a teenage girl to have sex. The girl in question, 17 year old old. And they don't give her name of course, but she was convicted of an undisclosed drug offense and as part of the probation, judge Blake banned her from having sex for as long as she's living with her parents and going to school. Yes, apparently it is legal.

[John Holmberg]

How do they enforce that?

[Brady Bogan]

There's the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's the rub.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's fine, you can mandate that.

[John Holmberg]

But what about self pleasure? Good question. That's like probation time. Is it?

[Brady Bogan]

I think game's on.

[John Holmberg]

She can play that. She just can't. What about girl on girl? Yeah, girl on girl band. Oh, it's not. Is that if they have physical penetration? Yes. Or if they don't, anything goes in that girl. She's going to the. She's going to the.

[Brady Bogan]

Why does that sound just extra slimy?

[John Holmberg]

Almost picture him in a trench. Just like penetration. Eric says penetration during a football game. They can't get penetration. Oh God, Eric, why do you have to be so graphic?

[Brady Bogan]

California. Their money grubbing street cleaning scam may have just killed a man. 49 year old Ron Coleman and 42 year old Juano De so De Sosa. All right, they were neighbors. They didn't get along. During one day a week where the street was having to get clean. Wano would park his car in front of Ron's house. Ron hated that because every week they had to scream each other. It went out for. It went on for an entire year until this week. The argument got physical.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Ron wound up, up going into the house, grabbing his gun. Oh, he shot in the head.

[John Holmberg]

Oops.

[Brady Bogan]

Quano was critically wounded. He's on life support and is not expected to survive. Police arrested Ron for the shooting. Could be charged with murder if Juano dies.

[John Holmberg]

All because a dude would know. Who cares if your street cleaner gets in front of your house? They don't do anything anyway, do they?

[Brady Bogan]

Well. Well, every. You know, it's street cleaning rage, I guess every that one day a week, Ron has to park his car in front of his street cleaner and make him go around.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Knowing that it's pushing a button.

[John Holmberg]

Doing it on purpose.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of people like to push buttons.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, you'll play that game get shot by the street cleaner. They clean the streets in Guadalupe more than the people clean themselves. Have you noticed that here in the Guad that street cleaner goes through two times a morning?

[Brady Bogan]

Pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I'd like to see is the residents of Guadalupe just laying in the road one day, and the street cleaner just goes over and gives everybody a bath. They need to figure out a way to yard cleaner or something. What they need. Isn't that odd? Yeah. Of all places, they have bad landscaping. Guadalupe.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember when we used to care about Afghanistan?

[John Holmberg]

It's true, Eric. We do care. Brady. I still care.

[Brady Bogan]

Do I want to let you know that Afghanistan just opened its first shopping mall? And inside the mall, Afghanistan also got its first escalator.

[John Holmberg]

Osama's got a store.

[Brady Bogan]

Give me an escalator. Scaring the Ba'ala out of people. They won't use it.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's a tool of the devil. It takes them upstairs and then down.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe Anwar Hussein, the guy who manages the hotel.

[John Holmberg]

Hussein.

[Brady Bogan]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

A bunch of those.

[Brady Bogan]

That's like Smith, he manages a hotel that's built in the mall and says, quote, people are afraid of the escalator. They just stare at it. They're amazed. And there's like, this is the devil.

[John Holmberg]

We need to bomb this guy. Wouldn't that be crazy? We're looking for Osama for all these years and he's in the mall. Well, he's just got Slurpee. An Orange Julius. Sup? Did you guys go to Spencer's today? Hilarious.

[Brady Bogan]

Now, if you were. Let me ask you this. An escalator. And if you wore, like a long dress.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Get caught in those metal teeth. Maybe that's true. They're in those burkas. Those ladies are going to be swallowed up. What? You have Osama I drinking on Julius. It's good.

[Brady Bogan]

That's all real good. Every other recorded food court, there's like 29 kiosks. Orange Julius.

[John Holmberg]

You know, we were Wrong about America. Orange Juliet kicks ass. We're all running around in caves looking for his ass. What do you have on your iPad, Osama? Oh, Nelly. Getting hot in here. I'm taking off all of my clothes.

[Brady Bogan]

Look. Cinnabon.

[John Holmberg]

I got the Cinnabon. Made my tummy hurt. We're bomb somewhere tomorrow. My tummy aches. Too much cinnamon bone. They're opening a steak escape. Kick ass. Let's skate. They're just skate rats at the mall now, Osama. Is that a palta? Yeah, I just picked it up. Old school. Palparalta. Gotta push his IV all over the mall. Let's go hang out at Wet Seal and watch the horse change into dirty. Dirty burka.

[Brady Bogan]

They're wearing a hurley burka.

[John Holmberg]

Where did you get that? Chess king. That's hot. They got a maw. Don't go down the devil's stairs. You mean the moving stairs? Yes, I know. The ones that take you to heaven and hell. Frightening. I'll do it the old fashioned way. Thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

Look. No. Would you like to stop by Abracom.

[John Holmberg]

Abracroft. And who's saying where? They hate us but then they copy all our stuff. Well, we're over there. Kind of pushing it on. Are we? What? In the effort. Dillard. I don't know, man. Go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

In Jacksonville, Florida, 29 year old Benjamin Glover, 25 year old Desmond Ross were arrested for showing an adult movie on their TV screens. Inside their hoopty in their pimped out ride where children and two other cars could see it. In Florida. It's a felony. You ready for this? A felony to display obscene materials where kids can see them. Both guys can get up to five years in prison.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

But Benjamin says he was wrongfully arrested because he wasn't watching actual porn. He was enjoying the 1998 ice cube Jamie Foxx classic the Play of Club.

[John Holmberg]

There's some nakedness in that.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know what's worse. Five years in prison for admitting it. You were watching the Players Club?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't remember. Vivica A Fox, probably. Was she in that? I don't know. I would assume so. But she's a hot black girl. Yes. She got naked in. She got naked. No, she was just in a thong. And independence. Yeah. Look good though.

[Brady Bogan]

According to New York magazine, 25 year old Natalia McLennan was Manhattan's number one trollop. She was pulling in 1.5 million a year in revenue. She worked for New York Confidential, the ultra high end call girl service in Manhattan. And her rate was 2,000 bucks an hour at 1.5 million. She built 750 hours a year. That's less than three hours a day. Five days a week.

[John Holmberg]

That's impressive.

[Brady Bogan]

She got to keep 45 of her take, so that's 675, 000 a year. You let the money go to her head and went bragging about her income to the media. She was on talk shows in the papers and the COVID of New York magazine in an article called NY's Number One Escort Reveals All.

[John Holmberg]

All.

[Brady Bogan]

But with that much media exposure, the cops got wise to her. Went to the NY Confidential wrestler for money laundering and prostitution yesterday. All that big talk how much cash she makes selling her body. Natalia. But not guilty really to the charges. If convicted. New York's number one piece of street squish to get 15 years in the canned heat. Caged heat. Excuse me?

[John Holmberg]

You can be candied.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd rather be caged.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Canned heat doesn't sound good.

[Brady Bogan]

2,000 bucks an hour.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody is lonely. $2,000 grand an hour. Boy, she better be doing all of it. Some tricks that I don't know about for two grand an hour that I'm almost curious to see. And then just for. If she's just giving you the sex for $2,000, it's just stay home and masturbate. You better hope you don't. It's free. Get off too quick with that.

[Brady Bogan]

We got to pay for the whole hour.

[John Holmberg]

Baby.

[Brady Bogan]

Picture of Natalia.

[John Holmberg]

Shoot. Damn it. Will you just hang out here for the next 54 minutes then. Thanks. We'll get a picture of her out there trying to recuperate real quick before your hour runs up. No. I'll tell you what. For $2,000 an hour, it's going to be tough to get me aroused. That's it. $2,000. You can't. All right. I'm doing all I can. $2,000. You better do the splits with your face. Ow. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She better be able to perform oral on herself.

[Brady Bogan]

Two thousand bucks an hour. And I guess if I. That means I'd have sex once. Once a year.

[John Holmberg]

That's your budget?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty good. I bet you mine's about the same sex budget. How much would it be? It's a good point. How much do you think? Oh, my God. That's. It would be ridiculous. She's not worth 2, 000 an hour. We got a picture of her we'll put on the website. She's a crack whore. She might weigh a hundred pounds if she told me 2,000 bucks as I leaned my head out my desperate car window. 2000 for the first hour. All right, so long, skinny.

[Brady Bogan]

But then again, that's New York dollars. So factor in the Phoenix, it's still probably 1500.

[John Holmberg]

Go home and shake out some knuckle children. $2,000 an hour. Have some pride. New York dollars. What?

[Brady Bogan]

Cost of living at 6.

[John Holmberg]

42 in the morning. Sickness. There is your Brady report. What's the most you'd spend for sex?

[Brady Bogan]

It's a stupid question for me because.

[John Holmberg]

I. I'm not talking about with a hooker.

[Brady Bogan]

People pay me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, there he goes. There he goes.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

So that's why you don't have sex. Now if it was something like his, like a hot Asian. Asian? Really? I'd go up to a grand maybe. Really? If I had the dough. Come on. Sad, sad young man. Just for the hot Asian. I was gonna say 40 bucks.

[Brady Bogan]

Nah, you'd go a grand for penetration.

[John Holmberg]

No, wait.

[Brady Bogan]

Here.

[John Holmberg]

Make him say that again. That's if I had the money. Now I don't have the money. So based on my income, I would have to go about fifty hundred dollars.

[Brady Bogan]

For the hot Asian and a two for one. Buy one entree, get one free.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maybe they have different discounts for me or something. I. I'd microwave a healthy choice meal, read a movie.

[Brady Bogan]

Eric goes to the Chicken Wing Ranch.

[John Holmberg]

You give her 40, 10 off with your red card. Yeah, that's your Brady report. Yeah, 40 bucks max. If you're spending more than 40 for a little tail, you're doing it wrong. It's 98. KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. You just gave me my reach around. Here's another best of rerun from the morning sickness. It's on my mind. Now it's gonna go somewhere else, but now it's on my mind. Brady's been playing super Larry. We didn't know you were. We didn't know you were on this game. We just found out that people that we know and that like a lot all of us recently married and they're married. Just not gonna make it to the seven to eight month mark. Right? It's unfortunate, but it's a. It's. It happens. It happens. No, nobody's judging. No, except Brady said he doesn't get present. This is a very Costanza moment. He doesn't get presents for weddings until they hit six or seven months. So you got out of this one scot free because all of us. Sounds like it yeah, not actually done. Braden Bogan. Larry, them completely larried him. I mean, you could see the star and the moon right now just glowing down on you like the bat signal. Well done, Brady. That is an amazing, amazing idea. But for you, of all people, after.

[Brady Bogan]

After it happens a couple of times, and I had heard. I remember someone told me on wedding gifts, you have up to year. I'm like, really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, I mean, you. That's. But for you, you're usually the guy that's like, yeah, I don't want to be, you know, but this is a very bold and borderline confrontational move you've made up to a year. I never heard that. I mean, I. I feel guilty if I don't show up with an envelope. You gotta hand the envelope. In the community of cheapskates, there's a. There's a discussion that says, oh, yeah, you got 12 months. You got to make sure they make it. Why spend money on people? It's. It's. It's a. And here's a cheapskate move, but I admire it.

[Brady Bogan]

The reality of it is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, completely. But at the same time, to justify it like that makes even worse. But go on. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

The reality is, it's my lacking. If I'm in charge of the wedding gift, it's going to take a while, right? Well, because usually it's Ronnie, you know, I'd say, like, women love to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, wedding gifts are just all online. It's so easy. You get the invite, and there's a QR code on the thing that says, here, buy us something at this. And it gets delivered to the person. Person's house. There's no shopping. Like, the registry is on your phone.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Click, boom. Gone. You, sir, have a plan. I admire it. And, boy, have the tables turned here. I don't think I could be that big a dick. I mean, that's a move, my friend, but I admire it. And if anybody can adapt to it, it's this guy right here.

[Brady Bogan]

However you want.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we do. Everyone does. The whole world has. It's not an interpretation, it's a dead fact. But it's a good. Hey, look, look. It's in this particular case. You got out. You got out. Yeah. You smoked us. You smoked us. Like, you know. Yeah, well, I don't like to use that baking term, but still, I mean.

[Brady Bogan]

I based it also on. I mean, when I got married, I.

[John Holmberg]

Got a little late. Yeah, that's all right.

[Brady Bogan]

When I got married.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

There wasn't. No, it Wasn't everyone all at once. There's stuff that came out of the year, but. And then there's.

[John Holmberg]

You're not the only one.

[Brady Bogan]

But you get your candlestick, right? Like someone. Like your mom's Lenora best friend.

[John Holmberg]

Were there eight holders for the candles?

[Brady Bogan]

There was only.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like. Where you go.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a pair.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. All right. So I didn't even get all eight. My God. That's the cheapest menorah I've ever heard of. I'll get you two. You make it another year, you get two more. Hey. Oh, I vault this kid in his wedding prizes. It's a good move. I'm. But again, there we are. But I'm like, do you. And what is the rule there? I mean, there was a bachelor party, there was a wedding, there was a bachelorette party. That wedding we went to wasn't cheap. No, it was nice. It was. Yeah, Very nice.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a Most friend of mine recently got divorced and they weren't married that long. Part of her deal was I get all the wedding gifts. Okay, fine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I mean, that's called divorce. That's 10 years down the road. She still gets all the weddings. Here, take the candlesticks and the flatware. The theory in divorce and women hate this. And it's just a fact. There's nothing you can do when you talk about it afterwards. Women's. They ask each other, what'd you get? Men ask each other, what'd you lose?

[Brady Bogan]

What's left?

[John Holmberg]

What? What did you lose is the man conversation. What did you get is the woman's conversation. It's semantics, but it's. It's a gigantic swing. There's two different sides to divorce, and the men never. When is the last time a guy got divorced? Oh, what'd you get in a divorce? It's never happened between guys, but it does with women. Well, what did you get? She got everything. She got the house and the guy's a girl. I got to keep my car. I lost this. If a dudes lose, women win in divorce. But it's a fact. You talk to me after mine. Exactly. I don't know if any. Anybody was a winner finding things, but. Yeah, it's a. It's a weird thing, but this one, I mean, you know, at a certain point, you know that Brady's right. One year anniversary, everybody. But then. But then you wouldn't get anything. And you know, you do that thing where it's. To get everybody started. You know, that's what wedding gifts were supposed to Be. It used to be young people, you get a wedding gift, you get like a toaster. Start your house. That's how wedding gifts initially were. You get all the things that a brand new couple get. Now you get people getting married for a second, third, fourth time and they have the gall to ask for a present. That's why my rule is when I go full Brady McFeely, it's I'm going to one of your ways.

[Brady Bogan]

One and done.

[John Holmberg]

One. I'm in for one. If I have to watch you say I'll be with you forever, twice, it's my fault. Oh, she's the one. She. What about the last one? You were saying that now she's the two. Actually, she's the one and 1A. What's going on? See, me and all the boys I was talking about earlier, we. We had a rule with bachelor parties. If you don't make it a year, you buy the bachelor party back for everybody. That went so tonight out the bar for all the boys.

[Brady Bogan]

You need paperwork that went out the top.

[John Holmberg]

Me and Mango had that one. Yeah, well, middaugh was. He owes five, six, seven bachelor. I'm telling you, it's ridiculous. But yeah, but if. Yeah, and if it's a. If it's. You make people pay. Destination weddings and stuff. I was borderline. My first one lasted two years, but I had like seven or eight people. It was San Diego. Yeah, but still, you know, I invited people and you had to put the bill for that and room and all that. It starts getting all right. Well, I'm sure you did. You ever get your present. I know exactly who you can. I know who you can contact. I don't think so. Brady got me a popcorn maker that I got him for Christmas the year before. Yeah, you can send those receipts to a certain party in that wedding and I'm sure she'll get right back.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like old school. A toaster.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was one of the. One of the crazy things was. And her dad took care of half of our wedding and our wedding was a little under 30 grand. Wasn't cheap, but it wasn't super expensive. Now to average young. Yeah. Nowadays it was half this from us and he was. That was his present to kick in half. And I always thought we were supposed to kick in the whole deal, but that's fine. And he had tons of money, so he fully larried us too. But anyway. So get half. Well, I found out I was getting a divorce from her brother when he said my dad just got a check from your wife paying him back for the wedding. And I'm like, why? Huh? And then you felt like, oh. And he goes. Because she said something about maybe it's not gonna. And he's like, well. And he threw a little fit. I just paid for that. It's been two years. I just gave you money. So she cut him a check without telling me, and I canceled it. And that was when the fireworks started. Oh, man. But I canceled. I'm like, that's not happening. We'll take that out of her half, right? What if we work this out? What if this is a thing? We're like, oh, we can move on. We'll be all right. Is he going to cut us that back? Is it coming? That's. That's crap. That's a baby. That's the risk you take saying okay to the wedding, saying, yes, you can. And it wasn't me making that choice. But she cut him a check trying to pay him back. And then when I start thinking about him. That was very nice of her, really. Because she felt guilty that somebody. That people were kicking in. But she didn't cut a check to all the guests or, you know, the people that were involved in gift giving. She kept that stuff. We didn't. I don't think we even asked for gifts. I think it was one of those. Start getting to that point. You're not doing that. But it was. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

My gift tonight. Now I feel bad in a way, but, no, it's not his fault. I basically paid for the minister.

[John Holmberg]

Who, Billy?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For my thing. Yeah. I didn't even know that. Thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that worked out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That was great. He's all right.

[Brady Bogan]

I know, but just saying. How long did.

[John Holmberg]

His.

[Brady Bogan]

His words did. Didn't last forever.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

It's his.

[John Holmberg]

It's marriage. I know. You can't take any of those words for anything. I've seen. I've been. I've seen people who are like, on Marriage four, and like, how do you stand up there and say forever? For you to make it like, you know, until this is over? Yeah. Like, just. I'm done. You're bad at it.

[Brady Bogan]

I got three for one. One guy, and that was it.

[John Holmberg]

Have you gone to weddings of people who have had multiples and no deaths. They've just decided to not be part of it anymore. And then they move on. And then they ask you to go to their wedding. Wedding again. See, I won't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I've done it one time.

[John Holmberg]

Going to a second Guy. A guy's second wedding.

[Brady Bogan]

I went to three for one, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's too many.

[Brady Bogan]

And the third one, you know, we gave him two gifts and. And that was the big joke. Like, you know what? You're done. Yeah, you've tapped it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not giving him any gifts after the first one especially. My dad knew. Knew a guy that actually got married seven times. Once. Two of them were the same. Like, he married her and then divorce. But seven times, I'm like, you're just not good at this. Yeah. You're three strikes and you're out, pal. No more. Yeah. Yeah. And quit having the gall to send out invites for us to show up to, you know, to be into the eyes of my friends in the Lord as well. Union for the next eight months. It's what? Come on, it's a baseball season. Don't have to commit to that. It's craziness. Anyway, sorry to, you know, divorce. It comes crashing down on you. But, you know, seven, eight months, you got to start writing some checks or at least some of that stuff's unused. I'm sure there's a couple of air fryers that have not been, you know, unboxed. That.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's some double ups, some double downs.

[John Holmberg]

You could bring those back and then say. Say, hey, Sorry about that, Mr. Mrs. Johnson. It didn't go past the basketball season or.

[Brady Bogan]

That works out all right. They each get one.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and that is the other thing about gift giving. You give a gift and your hands are clean of it no matter what happens after that, if they take it back, if they hate it, it's just a. It's a rough one because you gotta kind of eat. But you do learn a lot about that person. You give somebody a gift and they do something terrible with a gift, and your thought then, you know, you just stop giving that person gift weddings that don't make it under a year. Rough. But you couldn't have been that attached, right? No, not after that. It's not so bad. If you're gonna do it, do it early or you start accumulating a bunch of stuff together. It's brutal. Anyway, sorry to our friends, but Brady's the big winner here. Brady's the big winner in this divorce. I didn't get you anything. I wait. I wait and judge in judgment of whether or not you're worthy in the eyes of the Bogues. Yeah, that's pretty br. That's brazen. That's pretty awesome. I have now judged your marriage worthy of prize.

[Brady Bogan]

You've made it six months.

[John Holmberg]

You have made it past my threshold.

[Brady Bogan]

Here is your sawbuck.

[John Holmberg]

Here's $10 and an AMC gift card that has one good use left a one ticket to a non special engagement. So don't go try to see Avatar on this thing.

[Brady Bogan]

It ain't happening.

[John Holmberg]

How long have you been doing this? Because I've always thought you show up, it's like. It's almost like your admission ticket. Like, and you love like you can't say no to people's parties or funerals or whatever. If there's an invite, you have to go. You're not very good at not going to weddings and not going to. And just skip.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's good for the most part. There hasn't been too many second. And I'm in your out of that age gap with the heavy. Weddings happen in the 20s, 30s.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Starts to slow down in the 40s. I said there's second. Second happenings. But. But those are mostly. They either go somewhere else, get married, small wedding, and then have a party afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

Weddings are like. Weddings are like funerals to me. You got one, I'm going to one of them. That's it. Unless there's. And then a funeral can reset. So like if I know you and then I have to go to like your. Your wife or your funeral, I'll go to that person's next wedding. That's what. Until death do us part. There's a reset on a funeral. So I'll go to your. Like if you're, you know, wife. Because I went to your wedding. Yeah. And it had she croaked. Quit smiling so big. If she croaked. I was just thinking then I would have gone to your next wedding. But I don't owe you a second one. And you too. Same with you. Nobody owes me. Actually, you owe me one. I owe you? How do I owe you one? You didn't go to any of my weddings. Wasn't invited anymore. I know. There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

Guess what? You're invited after the fact.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Next time through, Brett, you just clear the day. See, I wouldn't have been a Brady. I would have brought a present right away. Because you're a decent human being.

[Brady Bogan]

You have a down path. It's. I. I should go the way that you do it just flat out. Here's an envelope.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Well, that's what for the most weddings. They have a thing now where you can click on a deal where you get them either money or a gift card. That's I think what we did for this one Was the. On the registry, There was a click for a gift card, and you just fire off a certain amount to that. There's some bones at that. And then they end up with all this. Go shopping. They get a shopping spree. Yeah. For all those clothes they're going to be wearing when they're laying under new people. It's crazy. All the. All the stains and stuff they're going to have on those wedding clothes that they bought with that gift card for that new dude that's hosing her. I mean, come on. But that's the way of the world. Merry Christmas, everyone. Brady has figured it out. You have to be wildly judgmental of a person's nuptials and give it a certain deadline before you're willing to fork out a few bucks. And actually, I kind of admire it. I don't know if I could ever do it, but the Cheapskate Society of America says this is the way to go and I have no problem with it. At a certain point. That's pretty nice. Said I got married a while ago, told Brady about it, and seven months later, a $10 Panda Express gift card showed up in the mail. That's pret.

[Brady Bogan]

He got his. He passed.

[John Holmberg]

Two item combo. No.

[Brady Bogan]

Man. I went heavy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you were still. You must really like those people. Well, it was the two of them, so, I mean, he doubled down and both had to eat. That's very impressive. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. There's more of the best of Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. It is for Brett. This is a killer for you. The next piece of information I have after 35 years in the Valley abruptly closing its doors and Italian American Center. Oh, most people have no BS West. Where will they go? It's like. It's like breaking up. Up the zone downtown. There's going to be scattering of gays all over on Saturday. Now we're going to have another parade. I know. That's what I was going to say, Brett, is they're going to have some sort of celebratory close the streets moment. But why would BS west the look that if you couldn't keep BS west open just on condom bathroom sales alone, that place crawling with money. Dual income, 100% earners wander around inside BS west just looking for a few drinks and a cozy hole to sit in. That's. You know what I meant. Why is it closing and why did no one know? They announced it yesterday. It's closing Sunday. BS west. If you don't know is like the most famous, most open gay bar that's ever lived in Old Town Scottsdale. It's actually a pretty fun place if you've ever been there. It's flat out just for a straight person wandering in there looking. Especially back before every for. And look, I'm gonna say this and then make people how easy it is to be gay now. It used to not be that way and it wasn't that long ago. And you go into the gay bar. I remember going back in like 1999, 2000 and wandering in there and it was like, you know, still a little bit less kosher for like they had to be careful of who was coming in. Especially when you could tell when straight guys like me and my. I wasn't in cut off jean shorts and a tank top. I was dressed. I was dressed a little bit like Eddie Vedder a lot. And I wandered. They could tell right off the bat. The gaydar went off. And I'm in there like, is he here for no good reason? I'm like, no, you weren't in there.

[Brady Bogan]

To get your dance on.

[John Holmberg]

No, I was in there to look around. And like, I wasn't, you know, shopping or anything. I just want to see. What is this about? Had the time of my life with a couple of people. It was a blast. But they're closing on Sunday, so. Yeah, Brett's right. The only thing I lament in this entire deal is the unbelievable parade that's coming because the gays won't stop parading every chance they get. But BS west closing is a real knock on the whole gay community. And it just basically rent went up.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe it's gotta be if they're announcing it, that they gotta close it right on Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

You think it's a New Year's rent. But they wouldn't. Wouldn't they have known that they're in.

[Brady Bogan]

A area that you get pretty high.

[John Holmberg]

Rent and they're crushing.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

They are crushing. If you've definitely not enough. Well, they didn't say they're closing because they're broke. The Guy said after 35 years, he's done.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, maybe he's retired. Well, you think he could sell that?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. So something. Something's going on. Something ain't right. But if he's broke, it might be missing.

[Brady Bogan]

Like not new land.

[John Holmberg]

Doing well with the money. Yeah, but. Okay, but you'd have known that a month or so ago. You don't announce it yesterday and closed, son.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, why wouldn't you take advantage of a full month of letting people know, hey, we're closing.

[John Holmberg]

You don't just shutting the doors this quick on something that. You know, kind of legendary furniture stores.

[Brady Bogan]

They had their New Year's blow out.

[John Holmberg]

Negotiations could have broke down or something. Just. He quit and just bailed out. Yeah, but he's bailing out on his staff and. But all I know is it's just like, all right, gays scatter. They're going to be all over the place. Like, what bars now? What's next? And if you're smart, start yourself a gay bar. KDKB gonna be doing live remotes are all week or what? I'm gonna go this week. And I know they don't want to hear from me, but I'm like, guys, you need to start the KDKB bar. There's an opening. There is a place for you. BS west closes. You need to be that comfort place that they. Where. You need to be a soft landing spot. That or a hard landing spot, as it were. But you have a landing spot for the, you know, the BS West. Weekends when we used to play at Rock Bar, marvel at the fact that people watching, unbelievable. But how full that place always was. We'd go, drop our stuff off, do a sound check at noon. BS west was packed full. We'd leave. BS west was packed full. We'd get there at, you know, eight at night, packed full. We'd leave at two in the morning, packed full. It was how you. They weren't losing money unless the gays just stopped going. But gays don't do that. There's a whole new batch of gays. Like a bunch of young gays that aren't afraid to be gay. Like, that's a great place. If I was gay, I mean, gayer. I'm gay. I'm just not doing anything about it. Like, if I. That's where I would go. Like, it was guaranteed ass. Like if they had bars for straight guys. Like BS west was. But you're getting laid, everybody. It's men. It's a. You gotta remember. It's a group of dudes with the. We're all in it for the same reason. You don't need the giant fat gay guy at 2 in the morning. Everyone was getting at least one ass a night. If you struck out at BS west as a gay, you were terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Something's wrong with you. Gays have grenades too.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't need them. We're dudes. We're dudes. We're out to get laid. So's he. This Is easy. That's why being gay is better. As a man, there is less effort involved in like, I want to get laid. I know you want to get laid. We don't really have to, you know, make this mean anything, right? It becomes prime, like just playing cave drums. There's no like courting. I mean, you know, there is in a process, but after, you know, the gay bar. Awesome, promiscuous awesomeness. If there was a place like that where just straight people could go and it was like, this is a. You're knocking one out of here. It's not. You have to go find the one that's easy. Everybody in there is easy. They're men.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think that term is in. In their strike striking out.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't strike out at BS West. You literally have to have visible AIDS on your face to strike out at BS West. It has to be like spiders crawling out of you that have the word AIDS written on. Like, that's the only way you strike out at BS West. And even still, there'll be a bro.

[Brady Bogan]

That'Ll give you a hand no matter what.

[John Holmberg]

Hand? Yeah, you're getting an old fashioned. No matter what. I just wipe those spiders off your lips. I'm not doing that one. But striking out at BS west, in my opinion had to be impossible. Even if it was like ugly guy night and they had banners up. Ugliest dude in America. He's getting laid at BS West. So I'm sorry gays, you've lost your. Your awesome place to hang. And it's kind of a shocker because it is a. It's an institution in the city whether you like it or not. It was a 35 year, well known tip your cap to BS west for being. And now I don't know what reference I can use. Charlie's, I guess would be the only other one. But you went for tacos with Emo Williams. Is that Emo Phillips? That was Charlie, yeah. Emo Phillips. Who I've just found out. Amsterdam still open the Hamster Jam?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, ain't nobody's business.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's still there.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't think maybe that's changed.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of gay hangouts, but not like exclusive, you know. You know, gay is so okay now that you can go in all of them, but still you want a gay. Like bikers are. They're allowed everywhere, but they still have biker bars. I'm sure I don't know this for sure because I've probably not fit In. But like, I'm sure there's Mexican bars and black bars that are mostly, you know, that even though they can go everywhere, everybody can go anywhere they want. The only thing you can't have is like an exclusively white bar that's just called Scottsdale and Gilbert. It just happens naturally. It's like. It's not an intentional. It's not an intentional thing. Gilbert is. Is a gigantic white bar that closes.

[Brady Bogan]

At 8 with tough sounding names. Bario Queen.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's everywhere.

[Brady Bogan]

I know, but that's what I mean. They put those in the wide air zone. We got lolos.

[John Holmberg]

The door is. Yeah, we've got a Lolo's Chicken and Waffles. My son Braden works there. He pours the syrup.

[Brady Bogan]

Where does Kaden work?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, oh, he's there as well.

[Brady Bogan]

He's at Shaq's Big Chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've gone very urban. I mean, we're diverse here in Gilbert.

[Brady Bogan]

Did they allow Shaq's Big Chicken in Gilbert? Oh, yeah, it's downtown Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

We're closing early this week and we're look at the goons. But yeah, it's so BS West. Closing is kind of a shocker. Kind of a. Well, I don't mean a shocker like that. You can't do a shocker if you're gay. You can only do half of one. So I don't know where they're gonna end up. But this is the same as saying the zone is closed and then there's homeless people all over. The gays are gonna. They've been displaced. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe it'll take a while. Like Leo was mentioning, like a furniture. You can't scatter them that quick.

[John Holmberg]

They said Sunday that it's closed. So this is the last weekend. And then next weekend. Who knows whether it's two. Well, yeah, but do you open a gay bar in the old gay bar? If it's that successful, I would just keep it alive. Yeah, something's going on. We don't know. Yeah, because you think they would have just sold the business then and somebody else taking it over over something.

[Brady Bogan]

Building being demolished, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe rebuild. It's just smells too much like the. Yeah, the tree. I. I'm so ruined by that. Sisu is always what I've called it and everybody always eats. That's what it is. It doesn't matter. It's a pear tree. Yeah, they're the invasive rooted trees. And the other one that smells like a man's seed isn't a sisu, but it's what I've always known. Should open a new bar called Sissies. Oh, let's open it. Absolutely. That's a money machine right there. Let's open the Sisu Tree. Let's do it. There's an opening in the market. Has a hole. So to speak. The most popular gay bar in Phoenix is now closed. The Sisu Tree must sprout from its ashes. We know where there's a lease available. Oh, man. Just go get the BS West. I mean, the MAPA up is going to be atrocious. You better get some money from that landlord to get all that off the walls. It's a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

We're gonna need some TI on that.

[John Holmberg]

How much? The TI is gonna be hundreds of thousands of dollars just to scrape the. This place wasn't. You thought it was white paint, but it's not. This place was blue. I didn't know that. The walls have been white for years.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like wiping off the Sistine chapel. They didn't realize they used bright colors.

[John Holmberg]

Holy cow. Look underneath all the white paint. Look at the frescoes underneath here. That's not paint. How did you guys get it so even we're gay. We decorate. Boy, did you. But we do. The floors are all like, everything I was. You know, and it was a. It was a fun bar. So I hate to see it go. I like to see. You know, I like to keep everything kind of in order. And that's. That's. That's busting it out of order. BS west no more. And I know Brett's DJ weekends are now coming to a club that's into a lot of time. I've witnessed some stuff over there in that BS west parking lot just hanging out at Rock Bar in there. A little patio bar you could peek over at BS west. And there was some stuff that you just. It was just. And I. That's where me and my friend Doug Fairchild sat and said, how easy would it be to be gay? Look at them. They come out of. They just storm out of. They don't even make it a few steps out of the bar. And the next thing you know, you got a handful on a crotch and a dude's just tongue deep into another dude. And I'm like. They're just. They're five feet out of the bar. That does not occur in regular US Bars. Us heterosexuals have to. Gotta take her to dinner. And. Nuh. Dudes just being dudes. They just want to do what dudes do. And how frustrating would it be to be a. You know, at the gay bar. And you got a court. They got. Well, no, I just. I'm not that easy. Like. Yeah, well, guess what? You're gonna be here alone. Everybody in here. I am not wasting another minute buying you another drink. Ugh. Anyway, BS West.

[Brady Bogan]

I've heard so many different versions, but what was the BS Part of West? The guy's name, initials.

[John Holmberg]

I have no idea. No clue.

[Brady Bogan]

And does have one in the south and East.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know if they have BS east and BS West. If they have BS east, you guys would have burned it down by now with your MAGA flag. That's what they should open, the MAGA bar. I still like Sisu's Sisu tree. Has to happen. I can even see the logo. Yeah, Sisu tree. And it just. It looks like a tree, but what it really is is an erupting. Just seed. Just spraying it out all over. Anyway, well, good luck, gays. I hope you don't have a parade. And let's not celebrate this too heavily, because it's annoying when you do that. Oh, this guy says. Oh, that's smart. He says, business closed. Wasn't expected to close 5 days ago. My guess is the guy from BS west on Epstein's list, he's just running for it. Yeah, the Globetrotters have never had a lopsided scoring situation quite like BS west did. That's very true. It's. It was. If you couldn't. If you can't get laid at a gay bar as a gay, you're switch back just becoming heterosexual. Because that's just how it is. It's. It's ridiculous. Yeah. All right. Some people are being disgusting. There's one over there too. Oh, no, not too bad. That one's just gross. Says, I used to deliver kegs for Hensley. And I delivered to BS west and Rock Bar. The drivers would call that area the Rock and things that rhyme with Rock Bars. Now that it's closing, I'm sure the guys will head to a New Town Saloon. They have a giant white rooster as you walk in the door. I mean, there's not over here in Van Beer. Oh, is it? I wouldn't know that. Next to. Yeah, next to the. The barbecue joint there. Honey bears. Yeah. New Town Saloon. But that's not in a fun location.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

That's a pure getting laid Bar. And on a white rooster as you wander in is. No, like, look, you're here for one thing. The white rooster. The drenched white rooster. That's what. That's a great gay Bare name. The Drenched White Rooster. Drenched Rooster. They don't even have to be white because then it sounds racist, but we all know it's going to be at the end of the night. As gays say, we're all white on the inside.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

My own feel like I've been stabbing my heart. Anyway, goodbye, BSWeb. I want to know the truth, though. I want to know what really happened. Happen. They just don't abruptly close. 35 year success.

[Brady Bogan]

You said Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Sunday.

[Brady Bogan]

So this weekend's going to be huge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I can't imagine how much money. Yeah, I'd go down there and take a look at that. But they're going to. They're going to have. They're going to close roads. Gays love closing street. Man, do they love things.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you make it there for an hour? You hang out for an hour at BS west on closing night.

[John Holmberg]

You never get in.

[Brady Bogan]

Like John was talking about in the 90s. I went multiple times.

[John Holmberg]

You go there by yourself for an hour?

[Brady Bogan]

By myself, sure.

[John Holmberg]

On the night it closes, come back.

[Brady Bogan]

And give Kirby the three fingers. Don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

Put a couple fingers. Daddy had fun at the closing. Alone for an hour in BS west on closing night. You'd get ragdolled. You wouldn't have like something would happen to you.

[Brady Bogan]

Such a bear. I don't know what happened.

[John Holmberg]

I think I got Spanish flown.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you did. Bring Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Goodbye, B.S. west. I'll miss you. I'll miss visually seeing, but New Town Saloon literally right over here. That's not a good one.

[Brady Bogan]

That doesn't seem like a good place.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just they got the flags out front. Like there's a lot of them. I've driven by flags. Right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, maybe the other two, but I, you know, they're out front, they're out back. There's flags everywhere. They're definitely out back. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's an interesting thing. I'm curious about that. I'm very curious about why it's closing, but again, yeah, I admire the gays for that kind of stuff. They. You go in with an agenda and you leave with an item. I've seen that building right there on. Oh, sure, yeah. Oh, I thought, I thought they got like a few years too. They've been open longer than BS West. No kidding. They've got that big Eiffel Tower on it. Has it always been a gay place? Far as far as I know.

[Brady Bogan]

But where's the rooster?

[John Holmberg]

That's inside.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's inside.

[John Holmberg]

The rooster is inside. How about that Newtown saloon?

[Brady Bogan]

Eiffel tower, too?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, there's a lot of echo. Oh, there it is. Yeah, I know. I. There's the rooster. I've never, never been, never, never needed to go in there. I would have never known that was a gay bar. It doesn't look like it looks like a biker bar from W with an Eiffel tower and a gay for play. Probably fun. Well, that'll be the next play. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 90x. Grab some protection. Here comes the best of Hberg's morning sickness. I'm 98k upd. Hey, you're listening to the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I haven't been in it for a while, but that's okay. There's just a lot of great stuff that happens here with John and the crew in the morning.

[Brady Bogan]

But if you do like so much of Frank Caleando, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, folks. John, Matt here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll be at the Desert Ridge Improv January 31st through February 1st. Desertridgeimprov.com for tickets. You're tired of the plugs.

[John Holmberg]

I get it. Back to the best of Homebrew's morning sickness. The best of. Did I say that? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't pay attention.

[John Holmberg]

And that whipping ice. The ground was ice and everything looked. It reminded me when I was a little kid in Indiana. You know, you bundle up like a Christmas story when you're little. Your mom would put all those clothes on you, and you never lived in that, did you, Brett? Never had that. When I was real young, I did. And then I went back a few times. Oh, but you never had the full, like, starfish wrap clothes thing. Oh, you've never lived through. You've never lived before. A Christmas story Now Blizzard is 17. I was Randy every day and. And every single day I pissed in the suit every day because I was like. I was 4. There's nothing to do, be cold and goof around. So I was 4 years old, and every day it's freezing cold outside. You're trying to play with your friends in this giant snow suit thing. Your arms don't work right. I had scarves all over my face, and that was freezing because you're spitting in it, and then the spit would freeze and your face would get all cold, and I just pee. That'd warm you up a little bit for two seconds. And then. Then now you're wet, and then it's and then your pee freezes. And. I don't know. I spent most of the summer or winter of 1917, winter of 1976, with a massive rash around my junk because I would just pee and still play in it.

[Brady Bogan]

Brutal.

[John Holmberg]

And it would just freeze your balls and make this awful. It was terrifying. I don't think of snow as fun ever. Like, I like. Like.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, as much as that 76 came through in Columbus. It was pretty, you know, snow days.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I wasn't in school yet.

[Brady Bogan]

I was in.

[John Holmberg]

I was there the whole time. I wasn't even in school, so I didn't miss it. I didn't go to school. I just go outside all bundled up and roll around in the snow and piss myself and come back in crying.

[Brady Bogan]

We had terrible school one time. They would do it at the teacher's house.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yep. That's where we. We are at Connie Trapp's house. Our school teacher. She was a sixth grade. And that's where we found the Joy of sex book in her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Still haven't read it. Started looking pictures, but you should probably crack one of those books. That's not bad book for you. That'll be a good one.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Learn a couple things off of that.

[Brady Bogan]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if she's still alive. Taking a pipe. The original Mary Kate Letourneau. Yeah, exactly. Why don't you kids come to my house and read about lovemaking?

[Brady Bogan]

She had that in Zeppelin's album. We're like, oh, she's a rocker.

[John Holmberg]

What's even better is she let you go through. She let you. Again, no questions from Brady, But I know exactly what happened here. You were allowed to rummage through her shelves and her stuff. Meanwhile, she was molesting the other kids who were more attractive.

[Brady Bogan]

I wish that was the case. But John Royer is the one who found the book, right?

[John Holmberg]

Cause he was the other ugly kid. Yeah, he was. You guys were wandering around the house, not. Not at School. Where's Mrs. Royer or whatever her name is?

[Brady Bogan]

Connie Trapp.

[John Holmberg]

Connie Trapp. Connie Trapp was in there giving her honeyhole up to another sixth grader. She was Mary Kay Letourneau, who doesn't ask these questions. Why were you allowed to go through her books and her albums?

[Brady Bogan]

We weren't.

[John Holmberg]

You kids go over there. I'll be right back.

[Brady Bogan]

But we're in her living room, you know, with a classroom, and you kind of look around.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

She's like, all right.

[John Holmberg]

How old was Connie Trapped?

[Brady Bogan]

She was young, you know.

[John Holmberg]

How'd she look?

[Brady Bogan]

She had. She was nothing to write home about.

[John Holmberg]

That's why she's going for the sixth graders, not Brady's cup of tea. So she's banging sixth graders in her house for Christmas?

[Brady Bogan]

She had kind of like the Bob Ross Fro hair. Kind of. That was big in the 70s.

[John Holmberg]

So she got the fist bump then? That's right. She didn't get the hugs.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't think I hugged.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't have hugged her. You just rummaged through her things while she was busy with the other students. What happened to the other kids? He's like, we're the only ones in her record room. Anyway. She's got Zep. That's awesome. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The only.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, that's the start of an album or something in that room. We should go in there. Ms. Trapp says we're not allowed. It's the beginning of the immigrants. Yeah. You're not allowed yet. God, sixth graders are hot. Except you. And you. Go work my albums.

[Brady Bogan]

You got it, Mrs. Trapp.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who allows that? I wouldn't. I wouldn't have been allowed one week. Man. A teacher's room. That wouldn't have happened. I don't think my parents would have allowed that. You're not going over their house takes a week off.

[Brady Bogan]

It just doesn't happen now. For sure.

[John Holmberg]

No way. Like an old schoolhouse or something. That's weird. Yeah. Something bad happened there at one of them. Did all the teachers do it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Every teacher in your school allowed kids in their house. There wasn't one objector. We can't even get Zoom meeting straight today. And back then, every teacher said, absolutely, bring the kids in. Yeah, that quit. I wouldn't have shown kids where I live. No. Let alone let them in. Are you crazy? Did you know where any teachers lived on purpose? Like I knew one accidentally.

[Brady Bogan]

And I wonder if it's because, like, the teachers that lived in ua, they allowed them to go over there than other ones who wouldn't?

[John Holmberg]

The whole staff agreed to have the kids come over. That can't be right. There's no way. There had to be.

[Brady Bogan]

One wise teacher asked my mom, because it was one week, and I would.

[John Holmberg]

Venture to guess that your mom was in on the. I'm just gonna dump my kid off at whichever teacher will take him.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She. Like.

[Brady Bogan]

She's got things to do.

[John Holmberg]

Can you imagine every. Every single teacher on board that? No way. They had husbands. Their husbands would have been like, you're not bringing them here. No, they are working. Yeah, well. Right. That's what I'm saying not all the time. You still don't want kids knowing where you live. There's no way. You gotta ask more questions. Be inquisitive. You just assumed the entire school was rose colored like you. And every teacher said thumbs up to kids coming over miserable. Didn't happen.

[Brady Bogan]

Then why only our classroom?

[John Holmberg]

It probably was just some agreement that only your room went. Because all your parents agreed. Ugh. Get them out. Whatever, miss. If she's willing to do it, they probably did it. But not every teacher was on there. No way. You think about your kids school right now and imagine trying to gather the teachers up and go, we'll just have class at your house.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm calling Bunny.

[John Holmberg]

There's. Yeah, why don't you ever ask questions about your history? Why am I the one that's more curious about your life than you? This is crazy. And plus you got fingered that day. You don't even know it. It's coming back. Somebody did. Bad things happened that day. I guarantee you. Yeah. One day something odd happened in that house.

[Brady Bogan]

Walked home from. From school. And we were going along the creek along Scioto Country Club and I broke through the ice up to my waist.

[John Holmberg]

That day.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

For Mrs. Trapp's house.

[Brady Bogan]

We were going to Walt Lunsman's. Yeah, we're going over to.

[John Holmberg]

You're coming back from school. Mrs. Trapp's place.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where school was out of the question. But kids could walk on creeks. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

What's the deal with that? Yeah, they did that because what happened was the snow. There's a snow day.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

And then what happened during the snow day in the school? Some pipes froze.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

So had to shut it down for a week.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Not really. The teachers just open their doors for cookies and treats. And then you kids could run all over. And then you fell in the ice. Yeah. And luckily that washed away a lot of evidence.

[Brady Bogan]

Went to fell through the ice, went over to Walt Lunsman's house and there was our science teacher, Wally Nicewanger waiting with a dry pair of pants.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice. Oh, that's fair.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not true.

[John Holmberg]

No, because he always had a dry pair of pants.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he always noise.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You need to ask more questions. This doesn't Nice wonder. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Wally Nice Wong.

[John Holmberg]

That's a real name.

[Brady Bogan]

Real.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's how Pollyanna the whole thing was. The funny guy was Wally Nice longer. But Brady, you need to ask more questions. The UA sounds like a fairy tale. Well, because that's the way he presents it. But Deep down it's a seedy coke riddle disaster.

[Brady Bogan]

Get out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. It was just completely insane. Everything was perfect. I don't notice.

[Brady Bogan]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Brad. Guys, you haven't heard the story of his neighbors. The guy used to beat off in the upstairs window to picnics that Brady's family was having. Bob Ray to the point where Brady's mom had to go over and say hey, enough with the standing naked in the windows. And the neighbors on the other side moved away because the guy wouldn't stop doing it to their daughter. And they didn't call the police or anything. They just asked him to stop it and he did it.

[Brady Bogan]

He was on a two strike program. It happened twice.

[John Holmberg]

Once it's enough for me. Once it's enough for the dude who's going to jail. You beat off to one of my picnics. You beat off one time to my picnics once. And then the neighbors on the other side moved because their teen daughters were like he's up there again. I don't know about that. I remember telling you that, but now I don't know. It's. It was not the. It was not nice. That's crazy. Jesus. Bob Ray was naked in the window and your mom and a group of people had to go over and go Bob, I'm on.

[Brady Bogan]

Knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

Knock it off. This is like eight times now.

[Brady Bogan]

Getting out of the shower and walking on the second floor window.

[John Holmberg]

Standing there for an extended period of time.

[Brady Bogan]

Kathy Burnham does not like you.

[John Holmberg]

Multiple times. Yeah. It's a fairy tale from hell. Yeah. You got to get deeper into this hole. Because I had snow days and never once did Mrs. Corns, Mrs. Stewart, anybody go. Well everybody pop over to my place. All these. These kids can come over here. It'll be great. And by the way, every teacher at Lake Prairie Elementary School is in on it. We love that. You know where we live? No. No teacher ever would show me where they live. Ever. They know better. It's like Mr. Rogers and waiting for the trolley to go through to learn to make believe. But the trolley has a dildo hanging off the back of it that nobody talks about. Yeah, you're. That's an insane day. And any teacher that's willing to do that is willing to touch pee pees.

[Brady Bogan]

She was a go getter.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sure she was that she went and got herself a 12 year old.

[Brady Bogan]

I guarantee you she was single mom.

[John Holmberg]

I know she was. Cuz you know why her husband like graduated the eighth grade and had to move with his family. So she.

[Brady Bogan]

I Gotta go on the road, babe. I'm in a band.

[John Holmberg]

Single mom. Because she didn't like to talk about it and used to get buried. Back in those days that when you had a child with an underage boy or something like that, nobody said anything. You just raised it like it was your own. And the kid was never mentioned again.

[Brady Bogan]

I got more questions.

[John Holmberg]

You should have at least one. That's not normal. Brady. Brady that's not Normal is the name of Brady's new biography. My Life in the UA Brady that's not Normal. Co written by John Holmberg. It's just strange. Makes me uncomfortable talking about it. Would you let Kirby go to her teacher's house?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You would?

[Brady Bogan]

Sure. Really? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding, man. The hell's wrong? Yeah, that's not right. I'm a guy. I don't like kids, but I still wouldn't let my kid go there. It's got to be like, boundaries and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, not like she said, oh, would you come over solo?

[John Holmberg]

Or at all.

[Brady Bogan]

But like, if the class was over there and she was holding class at.

[John Holmberg]

Her house, why would she hold class at her house? That seems weird.

[Brady Bogan]

Anyway, it's like that froze over in school.

[John Holmberg]

Either way, if the pipes froze over at Gilbert, pretty. Pretty slim chance. But let's say they burst and she wants to have class at her house. Something right there, that's grooming to me. That's grooming. Now you know where I live, so whenever you have homework problems, you can come over. I don't trust any of that.

[Brady Bogan]

Not every one of them. Because now she has, you know, four or five different teachers.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, but one. But, like, that's a dumb teacher to invite because that's just an invitation to egg in and vandal it. I know. If I knew her teacher. Teachers lived. That's all we'd have thought about.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You guys never thought of that? Somebody?

[Brady Bogan]

No, there's.

[John Holmberg]

There's plenty. There's some times she got egged a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

Mrs. Trapped it. But that was sixth grade.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, so it's right on the bubble.

[John Holmberg]

Letourneau time. 12, 13. That one kid with all the pubes. I don't know if you had pubes yet, but the kids with pubes were getting into Mrs.

[Brady Bogan]

Trap that wasn't there yet.

[John Holmberg]

Mrs. Honey Trap. Well, thanks for joining us, Brady. Your stories are fascinating. Every time all I did was piss myself when it snowed. Brady was over at his teacher's house getting warmed up with some Led Zeppelin and the Joyousacks. What's this book about. Why don't you turn the pages and tell me? Ooh, these guys are wrestling. Mm. You like wrestling? I do. Why don't you go wrestle your friend over there while I go into the bedroom with the cuter, taller cat kids.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. I remember we smoked a lot of weed, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. Yeah. There's no way all the teachers were in. All your mom and a. The whole school. I had to quit my job. Said, there's a teacher. I know that. Be like, oh, yeah, you kids come wreck my place.

[Brady Bogan]

Might have gave you an option.

[John Holmberg]

At Barrington, the whole class showed up. I bet that's not true either. It was like, whoever could 10 or 11 of you. Yeah, yeah. That wasn't the whole class. That was the danger. Danger?

[Brady Bogan]

The ones that could make it. The ones that moms would drop them off.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Moms didn't want them at the house. Oh, God. This school's closed. For how long? Enough for a week. We're getting that one. Drop you off at this lady's house. You imagine with the. The zoom stuff that was going on, and people were getting sick of their kids at the house. If you just dumped your kids off at some teacher's place over the pandemic, there would have been, like, insurrections and riots and all sorts of stuff going on. People storming capitals. And also, there's no way anybody wants their kids at a teacher's house. I know teachers. They hate the kids. Toledo's chick's a teacher.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You imagine going to, like, Toledo's got 28 kids in his house, sitting there learning. It's a teacher's salary. They're not big enough.

[Brady Bogan]

Lito would come home and some kind of wood projects broken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the other thing. Jacking around Toledo gets home at, like, 1. There's still kids hanging around the house. No dad's gonna put up with that. Coming home, going, wait a minute. What the hell's going on? Well, we decided to have school here. No, no, no, no, no. Get these people the out of my house right now. Everybody goes home.

[Brady Bogan]

But the class doesn't end till three.

[John Holmberg]

No, it ends right. I'm the principal now.

[Brady Bogan]

It's band practice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You got the extracurriculars in your backyard. Football team's on the front. What a nightmare, Brady. What a nightmare. All those memories of Buffalo snow. Last night, all I had was a rash. On Brady's in there getting raped and watching kids lose their virginity at some teacher's house.

[Brady Bogan]

It was great.

[John Holmberg]

Did she light candles and make a big Thing of it. No, no. What classes?

[Brady Bogan]

She probably had candles.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. She was one of those.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, for sure. Incense.

[John Holmberg]

Man, I want to call this lady so bad. Just be like, hey, what the. What the were you thinking? I just wanted to educate the children in my bedroom. You don't show kids your house. That's a dumb teacher. Anyway, she's dead. Probably not sure, but probably 50 years ago. 45 years ago. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

She's probably, you know, in her late 60s.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady Bogan]

She's pretty young.

[John Holmberg]

She's like 20 something. Early 20s. No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So her house sucks. Sucked. And she already had a kid.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It was a townhouse.

[John Holmberg]

What a tramp. Guys, come over and just pile into this one and make it warm. A bunch of snowbound kids hanging out. Man, that's brutal. You think of it as nice. Everybody else in the world goes, oh, fingerings. That's lovely. Everywhere. Arizona's most powerful full rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K PD. The best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg here. This entertainment drill that was from the past is brought to you by our [e-mail], the home of Tactical Blast. A couple days left for that super holiday special they got going on right now. Two months of training for $199. That's unheard of for personal training. Amazing prices for all they have to offer. Check out everything they've got [e-mail] then give them a call and head on over to Glendale. Head on down to Phoenix and get yourself in shape and ready for the new year. Start being a sheep dog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Brady from the past. Entertain me. We have now become a terrible 80s television show from Billy Pratt to finder of. Damn it. Finder of lost loves. Because there's a guy here. We talked to a guy named Fish earlier today, and Fish is pierced in the areas that nobody needs to be pierced in. And this guy online. Hi there. Who's this? TJ Manganero. Tj, Are you Spanish? No. No. Oh, okay. Never mind.

[Brady Bogan]

Little Italian.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't count. Anyway, so, T.J. you wanted to find Fish this morning, and now you're willing to donate a ton of money to any charity we choose to give it to? If you can find this Fish guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I was just gonna donate a couple.

[John Holmberg]

A couple bucks to your charity if.

[Brady Bogan]

Fish will call back in.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I've been a friend of him. I was the one that named him, and I haven't heard from him in a while. I thought I'd like to talk to him again. Now, did you know Fish before he started doing crack and getting his Phoenix Pierce? Never known him as, you know, crack before. All right, cool. Well, hold on, tj. I've known him to drink a few beers, though. Fish, if you're out there, T.J. misses you and wants to see your newly pierced schwants. Hang on a second. Okay. Yeah, Fish is. Fish is definitely going to be popular. Now, does it ever occur to TJ that out of 3 million people in this city, there may be one other guy named Fish? But he did tell us his real name, so that's kind of an odd coincidence.

[Brady Bogan]

In fact, that the one TJ's responsible for his nickname.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So we'll have to. We'll have to give the benefit out there. Fish, if you're out there, email us or call us back. Or if you want to avoid tj, by all means, don't do it. But TJ owes us money now, and that's the way it works. Finder of lost loves, a pierced penis and his nickname, Giver, will be reunited thanks to the morning sickness on your 98 KPD. It's Bubbles Entertainment Drill Bogo. A name to pay attention to. You may not have heard him in the past. Matthew Hook. He is Nicole Kidman's alleged stalker and a 2004 presidential candidate. He has filed a $200 million libel suit against Nicole Kidman. He says her PR people used him for publicity in order to hype her movies. Moulin Rouge and the others. In addition to the 200 million, he's also seeking all gross receipts from those two movies. Wow. This guy's out of his mind. Hooker names 80 other people as defendants in the suit, including dozens of reporters, News Corp. Chief Rupert Murdoch, and even Bill Gates. Wow. If you'd like to make a donation to Matthew Hooker's 2004 presidential campaign, just surf on over to his website, www.mathooker.com. there, you can also study up on his platform platforms, such as making the government reveal the truth about UFOs and the alien presence here on Earth. We need to get Matthew Hooker on the air tomorrow. Brady, get on that. All right. Matthew Hooker, live in the morning sickness tomorrow. The alien presence is very important because aliens apparently have non polluting energy sources which can, quote, set us free from corruption, greed, violence, and pollution. Matthew Hooker in 2004. So he stalks Nicole Kidman and he's running for president and he wants $200 million from Rupert Murdoch and Bill Gates. I have to say, I already agree with his tastes and his choices. Because I'd stalk Nicole Kidman. Yes. So he's got good taste in women. And you'd sue for no reason. I would sue everyone in the world for no reason. If I could find a lawyer that would help me with that.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm entitled to some of those box office receipts.

[John Holmberg]

Me too. I had to sit through Moulin Rouge. Go ahead. Mike Tyson needed to pick a spot to train for his June 8 title fight against Lennox Lewis. So he chose Hawaii's Maui because it made him feel, quote, peaceful. Unfortunately, it was only after he arrived in Maui that he found out that the island had no topless bars. Topless bars are very important to Mike because he. He thinks, wow, wow, that threw me off. Because thanks to the evil media, he can only date strippers and whores. He says, quote, you guys have written so much bad stuff about me, I can't remember the last time I effed a decent woman. I have to go with strippers and whores because you. You put that image on me. That's right. Yeah, that's exactly right. It's not cuz he beat the hell out of Robin Givens and then raped a girl. No. The media made him date strippers. Yes. They all have nice haircuts. They frame their face nicely. Now I'm gonna smear your effing pompous brains all over the room. Stupid media. The King County Coroner's office released a report yesterday about Alice in Chains. In Chains? Lead singer Lane Staley, he overdosed on a speech speedball. Speedball also is what killed John Belushi and River Phoenix. Also, the coroner's report says he died on April 5, which is the same date Kurt Cobain committed suicide in 1994.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

According to the Washington Times, MTV is going to put subtitles on the next season of the Osbornes for the, quote, non hearing impaired because nobody can understand Ozzy. The second season of the Osbournes. The New York Times says that there will be 20 episodes next season. That's twice the number that MTV filmed for this season. And finally, the Aussie news. One more report from last weekend's White House Correspondents dinner in Washington. It seems that Ozzy ran into Glenn Close, who was nursing a broken wrist due to a horse riding accident. Well, Glenn Close foolishly let it slip that she was taking the prescription Painkiller. Percocet. Oh, no. Hit her up for drugs. And Ozzy offered to buy some off of her. Some of that, sir. You with a broken arm, sir. Glenn Close. I don't care who you are, man. Give me that Percocet, baby. Good. Are you the ugliest man I've ever seen. Lord almighty. She declined the offer. I remember the gay love scene with you and Michael Douglas. It was frightening. Give me those Percocets. He's on every drug. He's drunk all the time. And they say he's clean. He's boozed up. Every time I watch the Osbornes, it was great. He's hitting up Glenn Close for Percocet. Can you imagine? His eyes had to perk up like a Pekingese when they break out the begging strips. Percussette. Hello. How are you doing? Every time. Every time he screams at them. Somebody just broke out a bottle of painkillers. He just hung out at Brett Favre's house for, like a year. Open up, Brett. I know you're entertaining pills. I can get those off your hands. It's dirty. Look at me. Give them to me. Favre. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

Johnny, you might have heard this one. Supervisor Chris Norby, he's with the Orange County. He wants to rename the local airport. It's currently the John Wayne Airport. He'd like to change it to the OC Airport. John Wayne Field.

[John Holmberg]

That's not.

[Brady Bogan]

Boo.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

The president of the OC and Visitor and Convention Bureau supports the name change. He says the show creates a potentially negative image of the area with its drinking, carousing and fist fighting. He says, quote, the message that they're sending is no concern to us. What is the interest of the O.C.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute.

[Brady Bogan]

Portrayed as a cool hit place and place with pretty people.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. They're complaining because the Ocean. OC Television show.

[Brady Bogan]

They're not complaining about that.

[John Holmberg]

They're saying that the image it gives off is fist fighting and drinking.

[Brady Bogan]

They're. They're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

And a lot of gay dudes.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the image that's throwing out.

[John Holmberg]

But he said John Wayne movies.

[Brady Bogan]

It's about killing your liver, right? Beating your kids.

[John Holmberg]

John Wayne has nothing to do with fist fighting and drinking. Okay? He's a hero. He is a hero. I'd rather keep it as the John. John Wayne Airport. It's the Will Rogers Airport. We need to change. That's in, like, Oklahoma or something. That guy died in a plane. Crash. Should name an airport after him. The John Denver Airport. Yeah, I mean, you don't do that. The Christopher Reeves Memorial Riding Center. You don't do it.

[Brady Bogan]

The Big Bopper Airfield.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't have the big plane crash. Airports paying, Stewart. See, why does that bother you? And the Big Bopper was funny. John F. Kennedy Jr. Island. Yes. Nice, Eric. Thank you. And it's just anywhere you put the plane, that's your new island. SpongeBob Kennedy, as I like to call it.

[Brady Bogan]

A live airstrip.

[John Holmberg]

Or.

[Brady Bogan]

What's that?

[John Holmberg]

J.J. enjoyed that one. I just.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brady Bogan]

What's a Brazilian soccer team? Airfield.

[John Holmberg]

Go.

[Brady Bogan]

JFK Jr. Give me to the surface.

[John Holmberg]

SpongeBob.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, this is horrible.

[John Holmberg]

All right, bubble.

[Brady Bogan]

JFK Jr. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Sandy can live down there. She's a squirrel.

[Brady Bogan]

Courtney Love is officially on the run.

[John Holmberg]

Living in the cockpit under the sea.

[Brady Bogan]

JFK J.

[John Holmberg]

It's uncalled for, but it's enough. Time has passed.

[Brady Bogan]

Anyway, that concludes the entire show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Are you ready, kids? Are you ready, kids? He lives in a cockpit into the sea.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

SpongeBob Kennedy. A new movie. It comes out. Yeah. You know, Teddy would be there. Why? I'm just glad they didn't do spongebob Kacney. JFK is Squidward. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Ch. Ch.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is wrong in a million different directions. Remember last time we laughed at something like this?

[Brady Bogan]

Ah, that concludes the entertainment.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. No, keep. I'm sorry. Sometimes horrible things make me laugh. What are you looking for there? Oh, nothing. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, Brady. We apologize.

[Brady Bogan]

You sure?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

Cuz we seem to be riding the good one here.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. I'm not riding. I'm just trying not to laugh anymore. But it's.

[Brady Bogan]

What? Let's talk about the laughter on this thing.

[John Holmberg]

Fine, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

What makes. You know.

[John Holmberg]

It's just funny.

[Brady Bogan]

Just the visualization of funny.

[John Holmberg]

Thought that that's who found him.

[Brady Bogan]

That spongebob finds a plane crash. It could happen.

[John Holmberg]

They should think about maybe that being an episode.

[Brady Bogan]

What's this?

[John Holmberg]

Patrick?

[Brady Bogan]

That looks like an airplane.

[John Holmberg]

Spongebob. You guys don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Nicole Kidman is waiting for her 8 million dollar crib to be finished up. So now she has to live in our apartment. Right now she's only paying 35 grand a month.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Yeah, that's good stuff. Finally. Brady, get us out of this.

[Brady Bogan]

My man Vin. Vin Diesel.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

He was being interviewed and he was asked the question, are you a Dungeons and Dragons geek? Diesel was asked about the Root. You know what I'm not even gonna do do this.

[John Holmberg]

Okay?

[Brady Bogan]

We're done.

[John Holmberg]

Not you. I'm sorry. It had to be done. We were all thinking there a whole new meaning now. It's not funny like a fish. Not funny. It's uncomfortable.

[Brady Bogan]

Old man counter announcement.

[John Holmberg]

Might be the best best one ever.

[Brady Bogan]

At the Arizona Biltmore. It's the second annual Hollywood Wine Festival.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

There's two concerts Saturday and Sunday. I believe the Randy Newman.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady, you're kidding. Little billboard buddies. What's going on? You got a friend in me. Sing along.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta bring. You got a friend in me, boy. That's your doggy buddy.

[John Holmberg]

That's your dog, dog buddy. Hey, who's the giant weirdo? Hey, buddy, I'm just trying to pet you, dog sh. People, get this guy away from me, man. Hey, what's wrong with you though? You know if I was Korean, I would eat it. If I was Korean I would eat joke dog. I would eat.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's just Randy.

[John Holmberg]

It's Randy all alone.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's him and his piano. Yep. Solo concert, rare performance.

[John Holmberg]

Got a funny voice. They drink it taste. His choice. And if I was Korean, I would eat your dog. We are going. I am gonna be front row. Whip my tits out.

[Brady Bogan]

60 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, you in the front row. Quit showing me your titties. Ready? Pick me. I hope he does all those songs about that have the N word in them and stuff. They're very politically charged songs about. No, just basically it's making fun of people who use the word. Oh, there's some going itunes. Randy gets real racy with his politics. Oh yeah, they ain't going to any Pixar movie, that's for sure. Sweet.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe we'll play some of the score. Scores. Music from the natural or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, some of his score. He did that. Oh yeah. Didn't know that. But it had words originally. Home run.

[Brady Bogan]

We like the music, Randy. Let's drop the vocals.

[John Holmberg]

Robert Redford, he's at second B. Roy Hobs. He called himself Roy H. He was drunk when he made that one. He might get a bill for the.

[Brady Bogan]

Light cuz he done broke him.

[John Holmberg]

Here's this baseball bat. Lightning boy, look at the sunlight behind.

[Brady Bogan]

The lady in the dress.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, look to your left. Deskin clones. Oh, don't get it started though because this will get you going once that thing kicks in.

[Brady Bogan]

Got about 20 more seconds.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's such a great leaks. It's amazing when he got shot earlier there, buddy. Look at him go. I hope he don't fall down Goodbye, Mr. Spalding. He did all this on his piano, huh? Yeah. That's amazing. And he'll play it live Saturday. I can't wait.

[Brady Bogan]

Now he's gonna go home, make love.

[John Holmberg]

He'll probably find out later. That's his son.

[Brady Bogan]

Have a catch.

[John Holmberg]

They have a catch in the wheat field. We're gonna have a catch in the wheat field. Oh, that's it. 1012, man. Randy Newman live at the Biltmore. That's rare. He never does tours.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going. I'm in. MAN. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.