BEST OF HMS PODCAST - COMBINED SEGMENTS - Tuesday March 11, 2025

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcast (March 11, 2025)

Hosted by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo on 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Tiff: The Controversial Adult Film Star

Timestamp: 00:32 – 07:34

The episode kicks off with Brett Vesely introducing a compelling yet unsettling story about a 35-year-old adult film star named Tiff. Originally from Wisconsin, Tiff has garnered attention for her unique approach to content creation by engaging with elderly residents in nursing homes to produce adult films. Her activities have led to bans from multiple facilities due to concerns from families and staff members.

Notable Quote:

• Brett Vesely (02:05): "If he can still get it up, give it to him. My friend Joe's dad is 80 and we had dinner with him a while ago. And he said, he takes the Viagra just to play with himself. He enjoys it."

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2. Listener Confessions: Incestuous Relationships and Familial Turmoil

Timestamp: 07:34 – 25:31

In this segment, Brett and Dick delve into disturbing listener submissions detailing inappropriate and incestuous relationships within families. One particularly alarming confession involves a father falling in love with his son's ex-girlfriend, who is also his granddaughter's mother. The hosts navigate these sensitive topics with a mix of humor and critical commentary, highlighting the moral and ethical dilemmas presented by such situations.

Notable Quote:

• Brett Vesely (19:51): "Embracing these kinds of relationships is completely out of control now. It's a great week."

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3. News Parody and Handling Sensitive Topics

Timestamp: 25:31 – 43:00

The hosts transition into a parody news segment where Brett attempts to deliver a serious news story about a missing person named Amanda N. (with an intentionally censored last name to avoid offensive language). The attempt is met with humorous failure as Brett struggles to maintain the gravity of the situation without using inappropriate language, ultimately leading to a mock reprimand of his reporting style.

Notable Quote:

• Brett Vesely (84:35): "Arizona and California authorities search for missing woman after bizarre disappearance. It's CUPD News with anchorman Brett Vesely."

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4. Earth Day and Slang Discussions

Timestamp: 43:00 – 76:02

Celebrating Earth Day, the podcast features segments discussing environmental topics and regional slang across the United States. Brett and Dick explore various dialects, favorite and least favorite slang terms from different regions, and the impact of language on social interactions. This portion blends light-hearted conversation with informative insights.

Notable Quote:

• Brett Vesely (73:46): "Conniption is an actual word, but using it as slang is offensive."

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5. Celebrity News and Pop Culture Commentary

Timestamp: 76:02 – 145:00

Brett and Dick shift focus to celebrity news, discussing the highest-paid actors of 2023, upcoming TV show reboots like the animated "Good Times," and commenting on Hollywood trends. They offer their take on industry movements, highlighting notable figures such as Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, and Margot Robbie, while injecting their signature humor into the discourse.

Notable Quote:

• Brett Vesely (141:36): "Jennifer Aniston's on that Apple TV show. She made another $20 million. That's pretty good work."

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6. Construction Mishaps and Local Stories

Timestamp: 145:00 – End

The final segments cover a mix of local stories, including construction errors leading to buildings inadvertently resembling iconic landmarks like Wrigley Field, and humorous takes on everyday mishaps. Additionally, the hosts discuss listener-submitted anecdotes about personal dramas, emphasizing the chaotic and entertaining nature of the show.

Notable Quote:

• Brett Vesely (153:25): "If you go missing with a controversial last name, expect the news to turn it into a laughing matter."

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Conclusion

This "Best of HMS Podcast" episode showcases the hosts' penchant for blending humor with controversial and sensitive topics. From the unsettling antics of an adult film star in nursing homes to incestuous relationships within families, the podcast navigates these discussions with a mix of satire and critical commentary. Additionally, segments on environmental slang, celebrity news, and local anecdotes round out the episode, providing a comprehensive glimpse into the eclectic and provocative nature of Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

Disclaimer: The content discussed in this summary includes sensitive and potentially offensive topics. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett Vesley]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns at the corner of 12th street and Indian School in Phoenix. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of Homeburg's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. Yeah, speaking of cute, by the way, to get you off of this. What? I saw this story yesterday on some British she's in Great Britain, but she moved to Wisconsin. I think she's British. I saw it on a British site. So she's from Wisconsin, actually, and she's in Wisconsin. Her Name's Tiff, she's 35 and she's an adult film star and she's the one that we've avoided. Now, she's pretty. She's a pretty lady. If you look at her, she's blonde and big boobs and all that stuff. But you don't know. You're not familiar with her. No. Even though she's been in like hundreds of porns and you haven't seen her. And the reason why is because the only thing she does is old, old men. And it's that weird. It's that porn you haven't seen. So then she goes and she's like, you know, I'm going to try to make a name for myself rather than go, so she's been going from nursing home to nursing home, auditioning guys and banging them. And they're banning her from nursing homes. And you know who's up in arms about it? The dudes in the nursing homes. Yeah. The families are like, you can't have this girl wandering around trying to have sex with our FA. He's 80 and he's dying.

[Dick Toledo]

My wife's been dead for 20 years.

[Brett Vesley]

Give him this. If he can still get it up, give it to him. My friend Joe's dad is 80 and we had dinner with him a while ago. And he said, he said he takes the Viagra just to play with himself. He enjoys it.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't they have a button for that by their bed?

[Brett Vesley]

I got an erection.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's air me.

[Brett Vesley]

Everybody should. There should be lights and there should be party favors and the cake rolls in. But she's been rolling in and out. She says, I've been visiting quite a few assisted living facilities and so far I've been banned from three in Wisconsin because I go in and if they want to, I'll bang the residents. Now I'm sneaking them out because it's the only way I can make content. So she gets them to agree to do a video. Like they're fine with that. Like, sure, hop aboard. What's her name? They're just calling her Tiff here. Tiff. Now she's whore pretty and not in a Kardashian way. Like, she's that girl at the bar. Like, man, immediately look at her and go, she is. She's been ridden rough, man. I gotta go on. But it says, she said her High Profile productions is what she calls it, while not popular with the staff, are a huge hit with the guys in the place. So they're like, please stop banning that. What happened to that Tiff lady? And they're trying to tell these guys, oh, she was an imagination. They're tired of being stuck at the home. They regularly tell me that I make them feel young when I do these movies with them. Even the grandmas agree because I'm satisfying their husbands. She's not even just picking the solo one. She's like, hey, look, you don't want to do this anymore. The old man's still got power. Let's get on this. So I think that should be like a service with all these only fan girls and all these ladies trying to make a living by being slutty. What's wrong with that if you can do it?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I think, why would you ban the other family? Well, they're probably like, sure, the service. But you have to put it on film and show it to if he's.

[Brett Vesley]

All right with it. What's it to you if your dad was in the thing?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, he's in the right mind.

[Brett Vesley]

He's in the right mind. He's saying yes to all the right things. And look, you're 80, you're in a home. You're just sitting there. You don't have all your faculties together enough. You can get a boner and some 35 year old girl wanders in and Says, hi, I'm a porn star. Wanna make a movie with me? Yep. Immediately, like, there isn't even. Like, no old man's gonna be. Like, that's against my moral. Okay, well, move on to the next guy. I remember years ago when Megan trained all those old men in the Silver Sneakers program. She was a personal trainer for the elderly for two hours a morning. And these old people flocked in. In the wintertime, the snowbirds came in from Iowa and everything else. And every April when they'd go back home, they'd want a picture with their personal trainer. And there's Megan and the Lululemons and the workout top. And every single man that left put their arm around her and cupped her boob like they were going in. They wanted a piece of this. The last time they're gonna touch a girl in her early 30s this way. And then they go back to Iowa and show their friends, this is who I. Back in Arizona. There's no way. They were just like, she.

[Dick Toledo]

They're all over.

[Brett Vesley]

She's a sweet young lady. Old men are still men. And the older you get, the more you realize, man, my brain doesn't ever stop being 20. It's just my body that stops being 20. My body doesn't do it right anymore. But my brain still thinks, we got this. My 76 year old dad tried to fight a homeless guy with me and then realized I gotta stop doing stuff like that. Like, yeah, you don't stop. So if a porn star wanders into your. If twerp was in there a couple years, probably didn't have all he had to give, right? He wasn't 100%, like, physically active.

[Dick Toledo]

He might have thought about. I mean, he would have been. Again, the filming part would have bothered him, you think? But if it wasn't filming.

[Brett Vesley]

How about a whole load of. What the. Let's do this. There she is. Going, that is a. And they're lined up. Look at this camera guy's over here grabbing a handful. Is that in the home? I think so. That's her with a mini gang bang of old dudes.

[Dick Toledo]

Take the safe search off.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, oh, can I do that?

[Dick Toledo]

She is Wisconsin.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, she's a. She's gross. But for these old fellas, that's pretty good stuff, right? And that's the best they've seen in a long time. And still, you gotta remember, these guys are in their 80s. They're not part of the shaved and maintained generation. What they're seeing is all new to them. I don't understand that elder oh, good Lord Jesus. Was that Brady? What is going on? Yeah, I think she does a lot more.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, gotcha.

[Brett Vesley]

But she's, you know, she's got a. There's an old guy eating his jello. But if your dad's in a home, I go, you know, go let him have at it. What's it matter? How proud would I be if Dan was in a home? He said Kirk's in a home. Oh yeah, he's down there. Hey, I'll call Tiff up. Hey, come on down here. Exactly guess what happened to me today. What is it, dad? You sound spry and alive. Like I haven't heard you in years. Ah, this 35 year old girl came in and filmed us for a while. Hey, good on you, old man. Hell yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Brett. Is this your old man?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, damn right. God damn right. And you have your hands in your lapels like still servicing at 80. Absolutely right. It's a vestly tradition. Give the hard stick to somebody all the way into my octogenarian years. Don't yell at this lady for doing that. If the guys are into it and she got to sneak them out, that's more dangerous. Have a room for it. It's not like Nathan Sutherland.

[Dick Toledo]

A lot of outdoor activities.

[Brett Vesley]

They're in the garden doing whatever it is they do. A little tending to the weeds and then, you know, Donovan wants to bush starting a new HMS charity. Hiring whores for the olds. Yeah, I. I think that's pretty good. I don't think that's a bad idea. And these guys, you know, look, here's my thing. I got no kids. If I'm in a home by myself someday and I'm old and I'm all right, where's my money going, right? I got my estate plan and all that stuff. But let's say tragically. Well, there's nothing about it. She'll be gone. Megan ain't gonna be around. There's no way. Why would you stick around? Me old, for God's sake.

[Dick Toledo]

And the new silver sneakers.

[Brett Vesley]

She'll be off and running with some handsome decent human being. This old is. I'm not gonna wanna stay with me old. So let's just assume Tiff rolls in. Let's go with the fanduel odds here. Yeah. And I'm sitting in a home by myself. And she's like, hey, a couple hundred bucks, we'll make a movie. I'm like, I'm not leaving my money to the state. Let me call Trajan wealth and make sure this is okay. They're like, yeah, just leave my money to the porn whore and let her come in. And every couple weeks, give me all I'm good for. No one's gonna visit Brett. You're the same. We talked about this. We're gonna have to get an apartment together. Nobody's gonna be old with you. Nope, nobody's gonna be old with me. Gross. I'm gross now. Can't imagine what I'm gonna look like. I encourage people to abandon me as I age. That's disgusting. And then you get this girl comes by and be like, yeah, I kept myself in okay shape, but still disgusting. Couple hundred bucks, I like. All right, done. Gonna put it on hologram because that's what'll be going on at the time. Sure, Hol. And I'll just sit here and take it, Right? We got three guys gonna film it. Doesn't bother me. I don't care. Bring me some grapes, maybe a smoothie because I can't chew food anymore. There's your insurer. Here's your insurer. I gotta get you some energy. Yeah, that's a good idea. It's silly, but they're banning her Jealous. And that's just proof that as women get older, they still remain jealous. Even though they can't even service you anymore. They can't even like. The whole lie of the relationship is they just want you to be happy. If that were true as you get older, I know I can't give you what you really want, so you're allowed to have this porn whore. No woman would ever say that. They'd start screaming, banner, I don't want to see my old man happy.

[Dick Toledo]

I think that story's misleading.

[Brett Vesley]

How so?

[Dick Toledo]

Banned from free out of 55.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, that could be. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, there's a lot of them. You think about those little. The little ones that have, like eight or 10 people living in it.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, but aren't those, like, those.

[Dick Toledo]

Wouldn't you want to maximize your profits?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, you're gonna go to the residence. You're not going to.

[Dick Toledo]

Those pictures I've seen does not look like a luxurious.

[Brett Vesley]

None of them look that great.

[Dick Toledo]

But that looked like it was a.

[Brett Vesley]

You guys got to have a couple pocket. You're not gonna go wandering around the poor ones. Maybe she dabbles with the poor ones, but for the most part, she's hanging around Sun City and some guy walks, drives by 35 miles an hour. One of those golf carts with plastic windows whipping in the wind. What does Mr. Microphone. Hey, man. Be back. Pick you up later. I Can pick you up after I get my meds at the cvs. That's where she should hang out. Sun City cvs. Yeah. Why hang out of Wisconsin? Come on out to Arizona. Yeah. Where all the good looking old rich golf guys and just hang around the insurance front.

[Dick Toledo]

They'll say welcome, Tiff.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, absolutely. She'll be at that Sundome. Got Leisure of the Leisure World and Sun City. I mean we got it all. Sun Lakes. Yeah, they're banning. I think that's tragic. Because I'm here, I'm a man and I'm getting old.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm out here for the Wisconsin days they do every year. 4,000.

[Brett Vesley]

I just want you to be happy or wanna that whore. No, Banner. Why? You said you wanted me to be happy. And your box doesn't work anywhere near crowbar and some WD40 for that thing and a bugman. All that matters to me is your happiness. Let me. The whore.

[Dick Toledo]

You can't do anything in that hover round.

[Brett Vesley]

You watch, you say, I'll put it on film.

[Dick Toledo]

Ya.

[Brett Vesley]

You see, Happiness is all that matters. What would you like more than anything to that whore? We've made it clear now off. It gets worse as you get older. Nothing's working. This lady comes on and provides a service. You might as well have angel wings on. Okay. Are you from heaven?

[Dick Toledo]

Listeners have found her and apparently. Yeah, you're right, she doesn't just do that.

[Brett Vesley]

Banging a bedpost there. That isn't her. That girl's got dark hair, says this is her. That could be. That might be, I don't know what's. She is from Wisconsin. Massage. Was that a fist? What's going on there? I think it's just a massage. She's getting a massage because that bedpost hurt. And there she is with fat elderly meat. Oh hell. Well, actually she just got pictures of a undecorated bedroom about to get decorated. And she's not bad. If I was 85 and I came rolling in. I'm gonna make reservations for Kurt Nicely today. Yeah? Yeah, send her to Kurt. Kurt might make her like him. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Look, Dad, I know he said no.

[Brett Vesley]

But I'm not doing a stepmom video with her. Look, she's for 35. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You're 80.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, if you're 80. Like if you're 35 and she's 35, you're looking past her, but not a seat. Like. That's a good picture. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a keeper. I wish that for my father because I, unlike most People to truly be happy. I want your dad to live out his golden years just happy. That's all. And I told her all I wanted to do is the. She said no.

[Dick Toledo]

Now.

[Brett Vesley]

Banned. You're banned from that. She do a tour there?

[Dick Toledo]

She's. I was sitting on a mouth.

[Brett Vesley]

Nice. Well, that's her job. That's like Mike Trout. He's always got a glove on. She's always.

[Dick Toledo]

Think of Trout.

[Brett Vesley]

She's always got clam chowder hanging out of her mouth. That looks good. I should be so lucky at 85 to have something like that come in there for a couple hundred bucks and take care of business. I like them thick Band. I hate you. I'm thick. You're useless. I might as well fly all the way to Egypt and try to. One of the pyramids are so dry. Let's get this girl in here.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, that guy's IV ing up. That might be a little extreme on that.

[Brett Vesley]

You need IVs. Keep your business moving. Okay. IVs are good. They offer those now at the aria. You can room service in an iv, which is glorious. I can't do it because I find that to be awfully strange. But she's great. That's a. She's a. Look at that. Old guy's grabbing her ass. That's more along the lines of what I was pitching. He's in shorts and a sweatshirt, like. Is this. Were you sent by the. By the Christ child.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know why, but I picture that as Coach Clark, and you know.

[Brett Vesley]

How many times her phone's gonna ring? Hey, it's me. Yeah, your wife got me banned. She's dead. Get over here. When did she die? Like an hour ago. Hurry up.

[Dick Toledo]

They put it under a code name like Fish Fry. He goes to four Fish Fries.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, that fish. God damn it. Can't wait for another fish. He's supposed to be on Friday. Yeah, you pillar of sand. Anyway. Well, that. I just. I saw that last night and I thought, you know, she's not a bad person.

[Dick Toledo]

That's one more.

[Brett Vesley]

That old guy's got two. Oh, man. He looks like my Grandpa Alvar on the last few days. And we would have done that for him.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm getting.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, get. Yeah, get him. Get him. Yeah. Put a down payment on her. Like I was saying.

[Dick Toledo]

Dad, I know we've agreed not to exchange birthday gifts, but I got you Dad's.

[Brett Vesley]

Your dad's living alone, right? Yeah. Oh, what are we waiting for? Does he date?

[Dick Toledo]

Wisconsin Tiff.

[Brett Vesley]

He doesn't score. No. When's the last time you think your dad did it? I don't know. While, probably. Yeah, probably. All right. Don't you want that to happen? Absolutely. I put a down payment on it. Does dad bring it up?

[Dick Toledo]

No, not really.

[Brett Vesley]

No. We should have a chat a good Sunday. He may know Wisconsin Tiff already. I don't know. I'm gonna have to kind of chat with him. My dad and his wife, new wife of his, they talk about it, and I don't like hearing it. She brings it up at dinner and stuff. I've heard their conversation. What kind of dinner time it gets.

[Dick Toledo]

Like nine and a half weeks.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, it's not yuck. It's nine and a half weeks to recover from a story. She'll sit there and start talking and tell her, I've heard their honeymoon story four times. And it's like, you just want to go, enough. Because they got food poisoning on their honeymoon or their wedding night. I should say on their wedding night, they both got food poisoning from bad scallops or something. She always ends the story. Oh, we were just throwing up all over the room. Don't worry about it. We got everything done. Need to get done before we got sick. I'm like, oh, for.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey.

[Brett Vesley]

Ah. And I believe I heard the phrase, your daddy plugged everything.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no way.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, she's. She'll tell the tale. You want to hear it? Come to dinner with us.

[Dick Toledo]

She's West Virginia class.

[Brett Vesley]

No, she's Texas. And she's. But she's fun, and she'll tell a funny story. They're. Big hole. Daddy got it done. When they see how uncomfortable I am, she says something really rough. It's terrible. He might have said it, too. I got everything all plugged up before everything went south, like, thanks. Enjoy the linguini. It's on me. I never want to see you people again. By the fourth time I've heard that story, they banged each other until they got food poisoned enough. But if he's old and it's still going on, Good on you, dad. It's out of control now. 98k. It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah. So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town and the best of Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. Oh, yeah. It never ends. This is a good one, too. And this is again, usually as these dominoes fall, when somebody opens up, we just need to start a, you know, open up to us segment A get it off your chest thing. Can you get My music, please, for soap opera. So we've had Bennett, I believe, was the first guy who fell in love with his son's ex and his granddaughter. His granddaughter's mother. Correct. Oh, yeah. I got it in here. Never mind. Yeah. Where. Where did you put that? I have it. I forgot. Thank you, Richard. Nope, not there. There it is. There it is. There it is. All right. That's it. Okay. Nice job. There we go. Then. Then we had. What was the other one? I don't remember.

[Dick Toledo]

Before that.

[Brett Vesley]

No. The one after was the. The guy who was scooping out daddy's little babies. That's right. That was yesterday. Dad and gave us the phrase, little did I know. For three years, I was scooping out dad's Little Debbie because his wife had turned to his father for biblical guidance and turned out.

[Dick Toledo]

And she got it.

[Brett Vesley]

The dude was just squirting in her instead. Well, here we got another one. Dear John, you never hear from women on this, but now you have. It's not nearly as salacious as the other stories you've heard so far, but I too have a morning sickness. Confession. In 1996, my fiance and I found out we were pregnant and decided to get married. It was a joyous time. Eight years later, the love died. We ended up divorcing 2004 or 5. During the divorce, his father made advances towards me. And it was sort of a bitter divorce. And in a fit of revenge, I effed his father black and blue a lot. It was awesome. And yes, like the porn says, he was bigger than his son. Fast forward to today. Me and my baby daddy have reconciled and we're back together. His father was killed in a car accident in 2022. The baby daddy, my boyfriend, fiance, has no clue at all about me getting on top of his dad, or as you guys called it, taking his Little Debbie's, which made me have to pull over yesterday. Daddy's Little Debbie's was hilarious. But my fella in the difference between my letter and his never had to scoop out Little Debbie's as his dad was. You know, dad throwing out mummy dust. I will take this to my grave with the people that matter, but you idiots are a nice outlet. And it actually feels good to tell someone this. Thanks for the platform. And no, Brett, I'm not a whore, but I'm sure that's what you'll say. Signed J.S. so there you go. More confessions. Is it. Is that a happy ending? Well, somebody got a happy ending. Dad got a happy ending. He was probably. I know this. You're Lost in the music. Oh, thank God. Your father was killed in a car wreck. That's a phrase I've never said before, but, yeah, there you go. More. More people are banging fathers of people that they've had sex with than I could ever have imagined ever.

[Dick Toledo]

So that was just a phase. They broke it off, and then it was a revenge. Years later. She banged his dad in the car accident?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, it wasn't even a couple years. Like, if she did the timeline. They were pregnant in 96, divorced again eight years later, which is 2004. We'll give it a year. 2005. I don't know how long she was banging dad. They break up the kids, 20 something. And they worked it out and got back together after he died in 2022. You know, she would be the one to ask that question. You always say that. Do you sound like your dad or something? We need to ask her that. Yeah, I think sex sounds are inert, and I wonder if they're. They're family. I think they're passed down without you realizing it. You make the same noise as your parents, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, the one statement still sounded kind of bitter at first. Yes, he. Dad was bigger than him.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, I think she was playing around. He's dead now, and if he was, he was. I mean, facts are facts she wants to throw out. Yeah, dad had a bigger one than you. Girls always do that.

[Dick Toledo]

It doesn't matter if he found out, you know, if he put the two and two together this morning. Like, wait a minute. Is this my girl?

[Brett Vesley]

If you're wondering that. Get out. If you're wondering that, it is. If it's pulling over right now, I'm gonna call her. Hey, J.S. janet Swanson. That's your name. You didn't bang my dad, and your dad died in a car wreck in 20. I mean, it's easy to put together some details, but again, if you're even thinking, hey, that might be me, just leave. There's no reason to stick around to find out. Your brain's telling you that. She would have done it. Now, devil's advocate, she did. Devil's advocate. If she's taken dad's squirts and you're divorced, I mean, sure, it's terrible behavior.

[Dick Toledo]

Came back around.

[Brett Vesley]

She loves you 15 or so. That's right. Like Brady says, everything works out. Except for the dad who was mashed by a cement truck. But, yeah, Brett's right. But we like whores. I got nothing against it. You got to be a. Every once in a while in your Life to make things pan out. But yeah, I mean, devil's advocate was she didn't really do anything wrong outside of being a societal boundaries, which is you don't bang somebody's dad who you've banged. You just don't.

[Dick Toledo]

And was he married at the time?

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know. It doesn't matter. Wow. Yeah. He's dead now. Don't speak ill of the dead. Yeah, I'm kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

Brady. Jesus.

[Brett Vesley]

He was making advances towards his former daughter in law. Crying out loud. The guy saw an opening. Boy, did he ever. And he just jammed right in there. Little Debbie'd it. And then. But the son never knew. And like what Brady always says, ignore it. It will go away. And what you don't know can't hurt you. And that's true. Ignorance is bliss. Never ever tell him. Take that to the grave. But if you wanna unload your darkest secrets, evidently on us, then go ahead. Dad unloaded. Boy, did he. Right all over that wife of yours for the second time. I mean, your parents got divorced and remarried twice. Yeah. And then lived together at the end. In the interim. You don't suppose your mom. Oh, she was taking it.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm sure he was too.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm sure she was too. But not from his dad. No, no, no, no. Yeah, that would be. No, no, no. Way too far. No, I thought you meant. I thought you meant like. But she took a couple of shots. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. And your dad was, you know, throwing little Debbies around, as he should. But not in her. Dad? No. Or mother. No. Now she's dead. Worse.

[Dick Toledo]

What if you found out you.

[Brett Vesley]

But that's. Okay, okay, let me. Before that's. But she was dead is a bad answer to that. Because that means if she was alive, there was a chance it should have never happened. Dead or alive doesn't matter. No, I agree. Oh, she was dead. Or else he probably would have. I don't know what people do in their bedrooms. All right. I just don't want to know. After my parents divorced in the early 2000s, after 30 years of marriage, I don't think my dad gave Shirley a call up there in Cedar Lake, Indiana and said, you know, I always have my eye on you. I know you're my mother in law and all that, but I can't even imagine that process.

[Dick Toledo]

Brett, what if your dad confessed with your ex? With what?

[Brett Vesley]

Something happened while you were going. Divorced?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. During that.

[Brett Vesley]

He gave Tracy a poke. Go. Had to see. That's how I feel too. Yeah, I would have cares and she said I was bigger. That's fine. Could be. Don't care. Don't either. If my dad better you than me. What a dick your dad would have to be to go. I gotta get something off my chest. And by the way, she said I was bigger. Remember your ex wife? Of course, dad, remember, Right? I do too.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what I'm saying. Just confess. You don't need to add that.

[Brett Vesley]

Let me just tell you this. You were doing no damage because I went in there and she was like a virgin. We played Madonna in the background, just like to celebrate it. You do. You have nothing. You are girthless, my friend. So anyway, she said I was bigger. I just want to get off my chest. While you guys were going through a divorce, I took advantage of her vulnerability. Better you than me, pal.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, it happened so fast.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, but you ever see the end of the Sopranos where he just puts his fingers over Chrissy's? Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. As close as. There you go. Yep. I want to tell you something, son. Get you. Okay? Breathe. Good night then. I want to hear it. And now. Who's bigger than us? Anyway, thanks for sharing all your nonsense with us. This one I liked actually, for some reason, because female ratings, you know, usually you guys stay kind of far away unless there's prizes. You don't really. That's a good story. So the two best ones we have are from the lady who walked in and her brother banging her boyfriend. Her husband. Those two banging another female there. And this one's pretty good too. It was a revenge bang. Yeah, I gotta watch my pornhub looking now because it's like this stuff's coming up all the time. It's like, I get it on the air. I need something else. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we've kind of watered it down a little bit. Jerry writes in, says my son doesn't have to worry about banging his wife because she's an annoying pig. See, that's the kind of confessions I like. He hates his daughter in law, she's a pig. And that's the thing. Like if you're married to a pig and your dad bangs her, he's doing work you don't want to do. It's kind of like what we say about the Mexicans all the time. If you've got a gross wife, let someone else do that. This guy makes a fuck. This guy makes a ridiculous point, but it's totally true. Your penis is only big to the women who like you ask a woman that hates you. And you'll see. That's so true. That is a hundred percent. Women can be with a guy for 10 or 15 years and go, yeah, the little one. It's like, well, you lived with it for 15 years. That's a big deal. It's little. Yeah. And like, a guy emailed me yesterday. He goes, they're all liars when it comes to that. You can't even get a truth out of it, which is, I've had big ones and I've had small ones. And yours is just right. We roll our eyes, ladies. It's the same thing as when you.

[Dick Toledo]

Ask, you got the three little bears.

[Brett Vesley]

If you look fat in pants, we give you the lie when you tell us about our wings. Doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter. I watched Love is Blind. When they started to bone, all the girls gathered in a corner. Is it big? Is it big? Is it big? And the one girl's like, it is. Woo. And they raised their glass, and I'm like, I thought, size doesn't matter. Oh, they're just being whores. And I think that answer's passed down from mother to daughter. When you're. Someday your. Your man's gonna ask you if he's ample sized. And the answer is, I've had big, I've had small. And yours is just right. They. They eat that up.

[Dick Toledo]

But then if. If you break up, this is what you say.

[Brett Vesley]

You hold your pinky in the air. Yeah, it's just. It's the. It's the template of. What is it? The three Bears with Goldie.

[Dick Toledo]

This is what you called.

[Brett Vesley]

And this is just right.

[Dick Toledo]

That's right.

[Brett Vesley]

That one was so big, I didn't want to do it. My ex wife told me about that. With her, with Jeff Jenkins of the Milwaukee Brewers. He whipped it out, he pulled a whip out. He pulled a full Louis CK on her. And she goes. And there it was. And she goes, we're making out on the couch and stuff. And he whipped it out. And she goes, it was so big, I didn't even know what to do.

[Dick Toledo]

And I'm like, It was an unfurling.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. I'm like, well, whatever it is, you put him in that position, you finish it. Well, I didn't want to. It was too big. My. That's. That's the risk you take when you dance the dance. So next you're on Jeff's side. Completely. Damn right. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Megan, years ago, told me about a guy in Sedona, a firefighter. I still try to get her to drive up there to bang this guy. She drove all the way there, dry humped him on a couch, and drove home. Oh, you. If we ever. If that dude emails me, I'm giving him our address. He's going in, finish him. That is, as a bro. I mean, think about that guy's around the firehouse. Sorry, guys, can't go do anything with you tonight. Got a chick driving all the way from Phoenix. Come up here and take marad because that's what he had to be. Yeah, there's no way you make that trip for dinner.

[Dick Toledo]

Instead he's sitting around like, yeah, dry humped Holberg's wife.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, good. Good for you. And you know what? You should have finished the job. What happened to you? She got all weird and got up and left. And I really liked him too. What were you thinking, stupid? Oh, you're dumb. That's dumb. That is not dumb. Get your ass in a car, drive back up there, knock on the firehouse door and find this guy and go, I owe you. At least give him an old Fashioned in the. In the front of the fire truck. I look at Megan in a completely different light now, doing, oh, no, that's ridiculous. As a man, I have to stand up for the boys. Yeah, that bro. I'm sorry. I'll apologize for you. I am sorry. She should have absolutely finished. Absolutely. But, yeah, Geneva said that. So next. Next time I went to. I went to a Cubs brewers game, sat in the third baseline with a sign that said, my wife gave you a hand job because he's a left handed batter. So in the third baseline, I had that sign up. It's great. I'm pretty sure he saw it on the on deck circle, like, who. Who's your wife? Which one? But in baseball, all the guys in the dugout were like, hey, that could be us. One of us, that guy down there.

[Dick Toledo]

Seven of them stand up.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. And her best friend was dating Jeff Jenkins brother. So that's how they kind of got. That's how they met Leroy Jenkins. Leroy Jenkins. And that dude went in. That dude closed. He was a finisher. And evidently she didn't balk at the idea of his giant Jenkins wang doing damage.

[Dick Toledo]

But.

[Brett Vesley]

And that's something. You know, it's just so big, I didn't even want it. And that was insulting to me. That whole conversation was, you're not like that. It was so big, I didn't even know what to do with it. When I saw yours, I was like, thank God. This will be easy.

[Dick Toledo]

Thank God, Lil.

[Brett Vesley]

Smoky. Oh, this will be silly. I'm not that hungry. So this little meal's perfect. He breaks out the hometown buffet. I've got small fries with a coupon. Idiots. She thought she was telling me a story that was gonna make me feel better. I've had big ones and they're awful. You're right. You're just right. So I'm not anything substantial? Not at all. Just enough. That's no good. I don't want to be just enough. I would rather be the guy you couldn't think about being with, you know, the wind sock rather than this, you know, Then you'll do. You'll do. That's. That's. I'm a Toyota Corolla. I want to be a Bentley. You're a reasonable A to B vehicle. Kind of light gray, and nobody notices. Gosh, thanks. I've been in Bentley's before. It's just too much. Too much luxury and too much management. They're hard to fix. Okay, like, Jenkins was an F350. Yeah. This dude was. Yeah, this dude had King's Ranch on the side of it.

[Dick Toledo]

But I like the practicality of the Prius.

[Brett Vesley]

Right? Yeah, exactly. You get good mileage and if I ever leave you, it's like I never was with you. You've done no damage, like. Right, Jeff Jenkins, however, would have wrecked me for every other man. Be the 7th street prick with that massive muffler of a dick. Okay, are you done trying to butter me up on how nice it is? It's just perfect for me. I don't need an 8,000 square foot house with a negative edge pool. I like our 1200 square foot, one and a half bedroom in Maricopa. It's reasonable. Oh, it's not breaking me, if you know what I mean. Right. I get it. I get it. I get it. I understand. I'm gonna put it in your butt and it's gonna feel big anyway. What? This one says yellow fever for the win, boys. I am a medium, but I bought them out in my Asian. That's right. Does she come pre Pixelated? That's right. Yeah. I can't see it. It's somewhere in the area for these little. The 16 bit area here. It's like. Yeah. So, anyway, well, thanks for sharing your stories and stop having sex with family members of your exes. John, I identify as the fireman from Sedona. Give it up, bro. Is it him? Does he know the guy? Ask around. Today at the old firehouse. The sad one. The one who's kind of aged. Sadly, it's him. I mean a girl that drives all the way to Sedona? Not even Sedona. It's past Sedona. It was up there and you go past and it's like by Slide Rock, like up in Oak Creek Canyon area. Yeah, it's going all the way up by, you know, the fork, the South Fork hiking trail going up 89A. Going way up there. Beautiful drive. Pokes around, knocks on the door. It's like I made some linguine for us and figured we could just watch TV and talk. Yeah, that sounds great. Why don't you get on me and rub around for a while and then I'm gonna go home.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got the loose jeans on and a shirt. Oh, he knew it's very rugged.

[Brett Vesley]

Nobody goes, hey guys, I'm going to stop, I'm going to dry hump. But I'm going to draw lines tonight. Why? Why are you doing that? I got respect for this lady. And she's got a long drive home. Idiot. And worse still, she spent the night, try humped him, cut the deal off and then went home the next morning.

[Dick Toledo]

And no.

[Brett Vesley]

Are you sure you're getting the story? No follow up? No, because she would tell me she's. I want the story. Why would she hold back? Owes the dude already. She owes him. He might. He might have offed himself maybe. I mean, really, what's wrong with me? Yeah, I mean she was willing to waste a tank of gas. Yeah, maybe that's firefighter.

[Dick Toledo]

This whole time though, he had to.

[Brett Vesley]

Be looking in the mirror, flexing his abs and his arms. I look good. I mean, I make a decent living. Look at where I live.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe the whole thing was a mix up. Like she drove up there. No, she is with directions. She ended up finding this guy, then calls him back the next day and it's another dude.

[Brett Vesley]

Couldn't find him.

[Dick Toledo]

Just happened to hit the right house.

[Brett Vesley]

After she drove away, she had no idea how to get back.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that where we're going with?

[Brett Vesley]

No, we're going with the idea. And the worst part is she told me that at the end she goes, I told him the next day I really liked him. He was confused. This poor son of a bitch. I might go up there and give him a handy. Yeah, and I don't have any of those before jealousy things good. You had a history. Yeah, exactly. I don't care. Tell me about it. Doesn't bother me at all.

[Dick Toledo]

Bye.

[Brett Vesley]

See you. See you some other time. Okay. That's a Crank.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a crank.

[Brett Vesley]

She's in the water. Save me. No, I'm not gonna save you. I'm gonna let this go anyway. He'd have Teddy Kennedy right into the. Right into the lake. Push the car a little further in. I can't get the seatbelt off. Yeah, those are tough. Any who. I don't have any of my tools. Let me go back to the firehouse real quick and just wait right here. It's tough being stranded, isn't it? Yes. Yeah, I know, but, you know, what are you gonna do? But, yeah, if I ever. If that guy ever emails me and it's confirmed, I'll take him over to the house. I'm like, is this the guy? Oh, my God. How have you been? Terrible. My nuts have hurt since 2003. All right. Right here in the foyer of the house. Tug, this guy. Really appreciate this, Mr. Holmberg. This is, you know, it's the least I can do. Well, you know, it's retribution pay. This is what we should do to people we've wronged. You make it right, you move on with life, and that's the way things should be. Arizona's most powerful rock Navy station. It's out of control now, putting the fu back in funny Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. This segment's brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit him over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop, Ladies and gentlemen, it is our. This is his theme music. Feed the tree.

[Dick Toledo]

It's what he asked for.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, all right. This is what he asked for. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, former Vice President of the United States and his guests for Earth Day Belly.

[Dick Toledo]

It's his request.

[Brett Vesley]

There he is. He'll explain it, ladies and gentlemen. He's very alternative. Yeah. Yes voice, you know, 90s, very 90s. Ladies and gentlemen, Vice President Al Gore. Let's welcome. Wow. Pardon me. Excuse me. Hi there, everybody.

[Dick Toledo]

Reverend Gore.

[Brett Vesley]

It's not a reverend. I'm not a reverend. It's my belly song. So take your head off when you're talking to me and be there when I feed the tree. Happy, happy Earth Day, everybody. How's everybody doing?

[Dick Toledo]

Happy day to you, sir.

[Brett Vesley]

Everyone having a marvelous day? How's the electricity in your house doing? Slow. Cfl bulbs. It's all I use. My suv runs on cat blood. Hey, work that out. Well, I take the dead bodies of cats from humane society that have been euthanized, and I recycle their blood as a fuel source. That way, I burn only cat blood into the air, which only makes people crazy who love cats. But outside of that, who really cares, right? It's not gas. It's about the earth today, not about cats. It's exactly right. And what are cats but alien beings? I call it cat diesel. It's hard to find at a station. Wait, only one who has one. At my house, it cost me $11 billion and 10 refineries to figure out how to make this work. But my carbon footprint is very small. Did you say alien beings? You didn't know that about cats? Cats come here from the planet belmac. You should know that. Right next to where alpha is from. Okay, yeah. Cats, cat. That's why alpha always loved eating calves. That was their main food source. Up on melmac is the bill mackie. And cats, these are things that are pretty normal. Sorry. Then again, they also live subterranean. A lot of people don't know that. And the subterranean cats can only be found through cat fracking. So you have to frack for cats.

[Dick Toledo]

Which I'm expensive.

[Brett Vesley]

Can be. If you dig a hole and find a cat, you've done it. It's lucky. So you've been hiding out in an insane asylum then. That's where you've been since tipper left me. I've just done a lot of science fiction reading. Okay. And I got into a few new items. So looking at how other plants have survived the planets of belmac and melmac, and how alf could travel here in such great distances and have such a small footprint that nobody even noticed this vehicle in the back of willie tanner's yard.

[Dick Toledo]

You still baitin that hot babe that you met in antarctica?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, I met a chick in antarctica. I'm getting some serious frozen puss.

[Dick Toledo]

Good for you.

[Brett Vesley]

Ever since tipper left me, I've had some stuff go wrong. Don't see me as much, but I'm in love with a woman named elizabeth keitel who lives in the antarctic. How's she live there? Well, she built a little house made of ice because she's an ice queen, and her sister's heart was frozen, so she had to move to antarctica. And only me, her sister, and a man who Owns the reindeer that he talks for. Can find her and we know where she lives. And we go there all the time. True love can. Yeah. Fix her. His name is bring her back. Olaf. He's the one who introduced me to her. He runs a little store down there in the Antarctic and introduced me to Elizabeth Cadel. Ice corner queen and wife, soon to be. Take that, Tipper Gore. But you've lost your mind. I don't know what you're talking about. Talking cactus person.

[Dick Toledo]

Sorry about the fire today here in Phoenix.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, who started that fire? But. Well, wait a minute. That's a song in itself, isn't it? We should do it. It is. Yeah. I'm very upset with the idea that you guys started a gas fire on the day I come here.

[Dick Toledo]

We didn't start the fire.

[Brett Vesley]

I drove my cat blood SUV right through it. Always burning since the world's been turning. So we're gonna give away prizes. See? Look who's in the spirit of Earth Day. Eric. Eric. You still get puss? Oh, yeah. Your wife's married. That's right. That's right. Toledo's divorced now, too. Welcome to the club, big fella. It's awesome. So few. 40 years. The tipper's puss is gone. Now I've got this frozen ice queen I have to travel so far to love. Come on. Tipper was kind of a. You have to admit it a little bit. I don't know what you're talking about. Geez. She just hated foul language. Like you used cactus person. Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

Still body mouth.

[Brett Vesley]

Brady. You still getting puss?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Congratulations. You're also lucky. My puss just likes to save animals on the. I've gotten into a bad business. These chicks aren't even interested in the genital tango. Let's go the phones and see who's got here. Will is on line one. Welcome to Earth Day, Will. How are you? Pretty good. What kind of car do you drive, Will? I drive an old truck. How old? 1997. Does it run on cat blood? No, I haven't converted it yet. Haven't had the cat blood conversion yet. Well, that's something you should look into very soon. I will.

[Dick Toledo]

That expensive?

[Brett Vesley]

Are you an Earth? What's the. What is your carbon footprint? What's your day like? You drive your old diesel vehicle around. I'm guessing it's diesel. So you're trying to clean. Clean up a little. I only have to drive five miles to work, so. Only that's pretty good. And what do you do for a living? I'm a Roofer? You're a roofer, so you use all sorts of electricity to make the roofs happen. I'm all for palm frond roofs again. Wouldn't that make your job easier just to lay tree branches on top of a house and say, done? Maybe a fire hazard, though. Nope, because that's nature just taking care of itself. Fair enough. Isn't a roof a fire hazard also? Now we put special chemicals with the stuff. Oh, my God. Did I just hear chemicals? Dear Lord. Well, I hope your houses never burn down and choke the children of the future. You better hope the wind doesn't get up there like 50 miles an hour, Be in trouble. What? Why? Oh, because he's a roofer. Well, no. If you got branches for a roof, it'll just blow right off. Yeah, but isn't that the way it's intended? Nature taking care of itself? And besides, if you had. If you didn't have this, Will, the roofer spraying its chemicals all over your children, the wind wouldn't blow as hard. Storms would be more friendly. You're kind of a asshole, by the way. Will, are you well endowed? We're average. You have an average penis. Well, let me try to sell this to you. Big Al's all natural penis pumps are only $259.99. You can get those things, pump up your penis to vice presidential standards and then maybe some puss will come your way. We all know how hard it is when 40 years of puss walks out the door. Are you married, Will? Yes, I am. Pretty regular puss. Yeah, that's what marriage is. That's what it is.

[Dick Toledo]

Steady.

[Brett Vesley]

My wife left me, man, after four years. Got to get over this thing. 40 years of puss. Now I got to go out and travel. Ice woman, now you're all right. I am so sick of Al crying and whining about no puss. I tell them to come with me. We'll play snaps. It's the name of the game. Help him out, Bill. He tries, but he likes whores. I want a good one. All right. Good luck, Will. Thanks. Which of the following items takes the longest to degrade in landfills? Diapers, Styrofoam cups, aluminum cans or banana peels? What takes the longest to degrade in a landfill? Do you want the choices again? No, I'd say Styrofoam cups. That's incorrect answer we're looking for is aluminum cans. Thanks. Thank you, Will. How could he not know that? Kevin, are you there? I am, Mr. D.P. i'm great. How are You? I'm quite good, except for we're all choking on the Earth's crusty air that you guys are causing. What kind of car do you drive, Kevin? Chevy Cavalier. Chevy Cavalier is a no puss getting monster. You got to get yourself something new. Chevy Cavalier. I've been married for 13 years. I don't need to impress anyone. Isn't it wonderful? Speak. There's nothing about that one. What's your girlfriend's name, Kevin? Geneva. Oh, hi. We're all going back in a time machine. Well played, Kevin. She's everybody's girlfriend. Yeah, join the club. That was a long line. You know, she's been gone from almost nine years, and you just now got to her. Yeah, she's going down the Alphabet. She started with Bruce. That's right. And worked her way down to the Chucks and Days. Ezekiel's not really worth the wait, either. Nope, not at all. By then, it was just a big slop cave of pudding. Talk about a black hole. Yeah, no kidding. I'm not sure she swung that way, but I'm probably sure she tried it a couple of times. All right. Good luck to you, Kevin. Thank you, sir. If everyone in the US Recycled their Sunday newspaper each week, how many trees a week would be saved? 50? 500,000? 5 million or 50 million? I'd say B. Gonna go with B is 500,000? That's correct. You got one. Right.

[Dick Toledo]

Good job.

[Brett Vesley]

This is why you can't get laid out. These questions are boring. Nobody wants to talk about this. This is important stuff. I'd ask a. Check what size her hooters are, if they're real or something. Does your chick, Kevin, have real boobs? Real knobs? Yes, Mr. President. What America wants to know. Don't you feel like adding on to those things, like some sort of home reclamation project? You can add on, like, a couple hundred extra square feet to her chest and just bury herself in there. Sounds like fun, actually. Yeah, it is fun. It's a lot of fun to have love pillows surrounding your big face while you're eating gravy off some chick's nipples. Gravy and McDonald's. Awesome. Here's another question of more importance. Gravy and McDonald's. That's disgusting. That's what Mr. Clinton liked. I just. I just ejaculated. Did someone say McDonald's gravy? Because I can make that with my body. I'd love to eat your wife's egg McMuffin and then spray my McDonald's gravy all over the place. Yum. I'm loving it. Brady's getting a. A woody over there. Brady's not speaking the truth. In a few seconds, I'm going to push Brady's ample bosom together. All right, you guys are talking about stuff no one wants to hear, that's for sure. Let's get back to the real topic. Approximately what percent of lead wheel weights eventually fall off cars, contributing to lead pollution? This is the kind of crap I'm talking about. 13%, 26%, 52, or 78. Now, remember, it's Earth Day, so get your mind out of the gutter and work on finding out what lead weights that fall off cars. Will do. Wow. Can you repeat the choices again, please? By all means, make them talk about this topic longer. 13%, 26%, 52% or 78%? Lead wheel weights fall off cars. Everybody knows it. It's a scourge. I'm gonna guess C. 52%. Jesus Christ. Who cares, Al, it's incorrect. 13%. Everybody knows that. People have to have this information. Sorry about that, Kevin. It's an honor, Mr. Vice President. Tell your wife I said hello. Will do. I'll tell her for him. I'm sick of you C blocking my environmental quiz. It's out of control now. 98 to you, PD. It's good to be on top, isn't it? Yeah. So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town and the best of Homburg's morning sickness. Not yet. Kupd. All these people are emailing about that girl who failed, and I think Alex Plasco has nailed it. He texts me and says, megan Rutledge, the girl who did the fist pump, crashed her bike and lost the gold medal in the X game, should get a wing in the Smithsonian, because isn't that what women love, and they're heroes? Almost. And then crash right next to Amelia, put her right next to Ms. Earhart, because that's what a female hero is. A girl who almost, almost made it to her destiny, but then crashed and burned. And then our black listener, Reggie, fires over the name of the girl who was the snowboarder. Out of nowhere, he goes, lindsey Jacobellis. Like, how do you know that? And he goes, useless knowledge. I'm your guy. More blown away that there's a black guy who knows Winter Olympic facts. Fringe sport, Winter Olympic facts. That's. The next thing he's gonna tell me is on the high school swim team. I might just fall out of my chair. So anyway, what are you gonna do? I had to share this Because I got an email from somebody that said, like the Megan911 yesterday with the bears. I forgot about this. You'll really like this. Because she did the thing where I threw. We'll throw bread on the ground and feed the birds. Will that make bears? No. When a man bear and a girl bear love each other very much. So I went through the whole speech of how that's not how bears are made on our way to Shola. This is another one I was going to tell you yesterday. I forgot. We drive by the Cubs new facility, which is over on the 202 and 101. We're driving by and I peek over and I'm like, man, they did a really good job making that look like Wrigley. It's got. The lights are the same, and I. They did a really good job making it look like little Wrigley. Was that on purpose? No. Like most construction jobs, they just start pounding and nailing and then step back after four months and go, God, I hope this is something. It looks just like Wrigley.

[Dick Toledo]

We messed up.

[Brett Vesley]

We don't.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, shut up.

[Brett Vesley]

You know what I meant. Nope. Most construction jobs just. We got some steel and glue and.

[Dick Toledo]

Actually, no, I don't know what you meant.

[Brett Vesley]

Start cramming those things together, boys, and hope a stadium happens. Do we get any plans? No. No. That's not how construction works. It's all accidents. What'd you build? We don't know. Looks like Wrigley. We think that's perfect.

[Dick Toledo]

Remember, whatever you do, don't make it look like Wrigley.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, you can't do that when construction. That's a plan. That would be more than what Megan's construction company would come up with. You must wake up every morning just waiting for Eddie. Yeah, just like, what's gonna happen today? What are you gonna say next? Every day is a new adventure. Did they do that on purpose? Nope. In fact, our house is an accident. Why? This was supposed to be a bank. Boss, it happened again. We got the materials. We accidentally built the house. God damn it. There's got to be a better way. Did they do that on purpose? Gentlemen, we're building a baseball stadium today. We all know what those look like by memory, and I think that's enough planning for us. So everybody get together and grab a hammer, start hitting things. Maybe Megan's founder calling. Yeah. Project manager. Yeah. All right, guys, here's the plan. Build it. Build what? All right. A baseball stadium and go. No, they knew they were building the baseball stadium. They just didn't have a plan on how that was gonna come together. And it just so happened that the Cubs new facility accidentally looks a lot like the Cubs Wrigley Field. You gotta be kidding me. As they drive away from her. You've got to be kidding me. Did you see what we just did? It looks a lot like Wrigley.

[Dick Toledo]

Genius.

[Brett Vesley]

Has she asked how ivy gets on the walls or anything like that? No, I think she gets that one. That one's not. I think she's asked me why and I don't know. I forgot. I always forget that. And then they always say it in like a Cub special, like, oh, yeah, I think it was. One of the owners thought it was a. To protect the players from those bricks. Yeah, that helps. Just throw some ivy up there. They haven't invented padding. I don't know. But yes, accidentally. And I drove her by the dial building. I don't know what they call that thing anymore. It used to be the Greyhound tower and then it's a dial viad. And that one downtown, the bar of soap, you know, that's shaped like a football. That's actually a really hard construction design right there. Was that an acid? Yep. They made the most of it, though. A lot of good accidents. Hey, all of our steel's bent at. Well, just make the top curvy. Right? Great work, boss. I would like to see that happen where they just reveal. Move that bus and the stadium is just this ramshackled mess. We didn't have plans. We're gonna start over. Here's to knock it down and start again. Legos. It's out of control now. Idea all they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of hombre's morning sickness. It's time for the Brady Report, brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio. Shades gotta have shade if you're living in this state because we got a lot of sun. And where there's sun, there's heat. And where there's heat, there's sun. I don't know. There's light. You want shade? Put some shade on that. And all Pro Shade concepts. 20 years in the valley helping out. They got Brady's house all hooked up, ready to go. Brace said he over a thousand feet of shade, which confused people. Brady forgets to say square feet, which makes it feel like you've got 1,000ft of shade. That is a lot of shade. But a thousand square feet of shades. A hell of a. That's A hell of a push. But if you guys want to get in on this thing, having an outdoor space where you can actually be super comfortable, they will make it happen. All you have to do is get your estimate today at all Pro Shade Concepts, get it rolling and have the shade installed before summer gets here. That's for sure. Brady reported.

[Dick Toledo]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[Brett Vesley]

Hi.

[Dick Toledo]

When Australia was colonized in 1788, the first currency they used was rum. And that lasted for more than a decade before they came up with a real type of money.

[Brett Vesley]

Now in fairness, because I am a little more aware of this, the first currency in Australia after it was colonized is the important part because the first currency in Australia was not rum. It was whatever the Aborigines were using. But we don't count that they lived there. They hadn't colonized it yet.

[Dick Toledo]

Right.

[Brett Vesley]

And the first. Yeah, the first currency was probably aborigine poon that was getting thrown around pretty reg. You thought we were bad to the Native Americans. They took hold their beer, lots of liberty. Holy smokes. They had. They took everything we did bad and then like amplified it. When you go to the. I went to an Aborigine center in the rainforest. I forgot where I was. I was up in this beautiful. They built this. You take a train to an Abo village and you're not supposed to call it that place. That's what everybody did. And you get out of the train and then they sit and they'll. And while we're getting closer and closer, just remember, don't touch or feed any of the Aborigines. It's frowned upon. Go to any of the shops we guide you to. But they'll be begging and you cannot feed them. It just perpetuates the issue. Thank you. And you get off the little trolley. Yes. And there are people just laying around in this weird makes. It's like the Renaissance Festival. It all looks like pop up stores but sleepier. But they're not in charge of any of it. And then you go in and some white ladies, they're going, would you like some scones? Like, sure. Where are we? She goes, oh, you're an Aborigine village. And I'm like, who are you? My name's a guru. I'm like, no, it's not. You're blonde. And then. And then you get in this weird gondola and ride for miles over the rainforest. And when it ends, you're at the. And there's this gorgeous building that you go into and you're like, this is amazing history, this rainforest. And down by the water. And then a lady gets on a thing and says, all right, now we're going to take you into a room to watch a small video about the terror and horrors that the Aborigines went through when the white men came to colonize. And it was an hour of crying and horror when those Australian prisoners showed up and slaughtered. They intentionally moved them to wetlands and then dammed the rivers. And when they complained, all right, glub, glub, glub, broke the dams down. Meanwhile, when they were building the dams, they would reroute where it's gonna go to make. To flood them out. Eventually. It's like, so we'll move them here.

[Dick Toledo]

Shouldn't we turn right here on the.

[Brett Vesley]

Take their water away. And then when they start complaining, we'll have by that time built a brand new waterway right over the top of them.

[Dick Toledo]

Watch him be uppity now.

[Brett Vesley]

And they did it without the first one complains. Open the dam. We don't really need this. It's just to get rid of them. They waited, they built dams and then rerouted the waterway until the. Until the abbos complained. Why do you do the things? Ah, you want us to get rid of that dam? We need our water back. All right. Hey, you want it all at once? Donk. They want their water back like we predicted. So go ahead. Bye. What do you mean bye? Bye. Just saying, just goodbye.

[Dick Toledo]

In Eaton, Indiana, this couple we're moving into a brand new home. She went through the real estate process, got all the papers in, handed the keys, went to the house. What happened? She got into the house first and then her husband pulls up with the U Haul with all the furniture. Problem is she faked all the documents.

[Brett Vesley]

She fake bought the house?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. And then didn't tell her husband.

[Brett Vesley]

She let him get into the packing phase.

[Dick Toledo]

So all they packed up, ready to go. We got a new house.

[Brett Vesley]

She this was revenge.

[Dick Toledo]

When earlier broke window, opened the door and then broke the lockbox to get the keys. Said, I got the keys, come on over, bring the truck. He had no idea that the process.

[Brett Vesley]

You just thought, well, he's dumber than she is. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

If he. He's got a co sign.

[Brett Vesley]

You gotta sign a couple things or at least, you know, have a moment where you recognize how much money went out the door for this house. Yeah, he's the dumbest of the two. If you can fool someone into moving into a home that you say you bought together, you're the dumb one.

[Dick Toledo]

Or she Might have bought the house.

[Brett Vesley]

Why did she need to break the windows to get in it?

[Dick Toledo]

Because she didn't buy the house.

[Brett Vesley]

That's what I'm saying. Then she didn't buy the house.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, she got through the lockbox, brings in the U haul. Then the police were called because the realtor noticed that the forms that she filled out, there were some typos in it.

[Brett Vesley]

What forms did she fill out? You don't know this story. Spitballing. You are just throwing.

[Dick Toledo]

No, you're.

[Brett Vesley]

You're literally throwing against the window.

[Dick Toledo]

Your jigsaw puzzle is in nine pieces in front of you.

[Brett Vesley]

One of your defenses was, well, she bought the house. She didn't buy the house.

[Dick Toledo]

She even showed the paperwork. The realtor said they noticed something was off in the forms due to grammatical errors, such as contact you at instead of contact us at.

[Brett Vesley]

Why is the real estate agent getting paperwork?

[Dick Toledo]

Because she sent the paperwork to the realtor and nobody. Nobody knew.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay. Helen Keller is real Brady's fan.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm just telling you it went down.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm just telling you what went down. What went down?

[Dick Toledo]

Her weak attempt at saying she bought.

[Brett Vesley]

The house, but the real estate agents involved.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, because she's like, wait a minute. She did not buy the house. They put in the offer, and there it is. There it is.

[Brett Vesley]

They offered for the home.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. And she just said, told her husband offered. What was. We're moving in the house. I get the keys on Friday. Start loading up.

[Brett Vesley]

That's a little bit different story right there. They actually went out of their way to talk to the real estate agent, make an offer, have some paperwork put together, and then she just didn't accept the lack of.

[Dick Toledo]

She's facing charges of possession of stolen property, fraud, criminal mischief, burglary, residential entry. According to the Pittsburgh public safety, Yabaraj Buddha Thokey of Pittsburgh is facing charges of aggravated assault or reckless endangerment on an incident that began when a male customer came into the Sunoco gas station.

[Brett Vesley]

Wait a minute. That guy works at a Sunoco gas station convenience store? Yeah, we're not allowed to bring that up.

[Dick Toledo]

So the male customer came in and to see here.

[Brett Vesley]

Nope, totally normal.

[Dick Toledo]

Started throwing bananas at Yaraj.

[Brett Vesley]

What are you doing?

[Dick Toledo]

Did you say.

[Brett Vesley]

What was his last name again?

[Dick Toledo]

Budoki.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, I tell you right now, Brady. You say my name like it is bad. Like Barage Buddha. That is not my name, my friend.

[Dick Toledo]

According to Yara, the customer then picked up more bananas and threw at him than he said stop. Then the customers took a swing at him.

[Brett Vesley]

Was It Harry Belafonte's kid.

[Dick Toledo]

That's when Yabaraj picked up the PVC pipe and beat the crap out of the man.

[Brett Vesley]

You happen to have one nearby? A PVC behind.

[Dick Toledo]

Behind the. Yeah, it was a. I mean, that.

[Brett Vesley]

Would hurt, but it would persuade her.

[Dick Toledo]

Self defense deal behind the counter. The guy suffering. He's in serious condition right now.

[Brett Vesley]

Hospital.

[Dick Toledo]

Hospital. Brain bleed.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, he was facing him with the pvc, but that was one of them thick pvc, not sprinkler lines like I'm thinking. Yeah, he's got one of those big.

[Dick Toledo]

He did some damage. So they'll have to compare the stories. He's saying himself defense.

[Brett Vesley]

Ignore how I look and sound in the music that plays behind me. I am not a stereotype of who works at a convenience store in the Pittsburgh area.

[Dick Toledo]

How's that accent again?

[Brett Vesley]

How yin's doing? Have you watched Pat McAfee today? He's a fantastic man about the city of bridges. Bill Cower comes in here every once in a while and throws bananas at me too. We can't say it, but when they say Yahaj Maharj Mahaj works at a 7 11, we're all supposed to go. That's. I don't like that. You know how you get rid of that stereotype? If all those people would stop trying to work at those places or own them. Well, no, no, they already own them. Just stop working there. Stop being behind the counter. And Trevor to do it. Yeah. Kill the stereotype.

[Dick Toledo]

Applebee's and IHOP are merging.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, my God. It's a super collider of crap.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no.

[Brett Vesley]

What's happening?

[Dick Toledo]

They're gonna have to IHOP bee stores. What they're doing is they're Applebee's Apple Hop.

[Brett Vesley]

I hoplebees Apple Hop.

[Dick Toledo]

They're gonna keep the same names. They're basically gonna build. I crap a building. And they'll have both restaurants in one building.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, it's like a Taco Bell and Pizza Hut.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

So one half's an ihop. And then when you're done digesting that, go have some lunch.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep. Rudy Tootie. Fresh and fruity and some riblets.

[Brett Vesley]

You need to build. You know, here's an idea for an entrepreneurial type with some money. Get with. Get with my friend Mark over at national bank of Arizona and get the financing to build a bariatric apartment building for giant fat people all around that thing with one stop shopping for your meals every day. IHOP and Applebee's. You got breakfast.

[Dick Toledo]

Like you put it in the courtyard.

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe.

[Dick Toledo]

Build.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Build all around it. And then there's an apple hop right in the middle of it. And heading down to that. Applebee's probably gonna be a revere that.

[Dick Toledo]

Replaces the clubhouse with the fitness center and all that.

[Brett Vesley]

There's no need for that. Imagine the freight elevators on places is a danger because that was like part.

[Dick Toledo]

Of the new design.

[Brett Vesley]

Never part of the plan. Right. What would normally go there? You're right. And then the defibrillation room is where the sauna would go. What do you name that? I Hoppel. I hopped these. I have.

[Dick Toledo]

Doesn't roll together, does it? They're not gonna. They'll keep them seven.

[Brett Vesley]

I hop. Applebee's spitballing on that. No. He's saying there's a divider in the middle of the room. It's like CB Live and Desert Ridge Improv has that wall. Sometimes they can open it.

[Dick Toledo]

We have one building with two restaurants. The Flower Child. And North.

[Brett Vesley]

We do. We have. We don't live in Gilbert. So it's them. We. And I'm glad it's them against the world that you have that because it keeps you from coming to the good Flower Child.

[Dick Toledo]

But I don't know if they share the same kitchen.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't care.

[Dick Toledo]

No. They're two separate things.

[Brett Vesley]

Only you wonder those things.

[Dick Toledo]

Jalapenos have not been hot for a while because they change the formula. They modified them 40 years ago. Farmers intentionally started growing them to be a bigger. To be bigger and less hot. They're actually called the Tam2 peppers or the most popular jalapeno. Created by a team at Texas A and M. Reason being is now jalapenos are used in more foods.

[Brett Vesley]

Bigger. You got to grow them bigger. They're a little less powerful.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brett Vesley]

His news feeds. Where does he take this information? I'm scouring the Internet.

[Dick Toledo]

Biggest story yet.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. The headlines all. I've never known someone who talks about food.

[Dick Toledo]

More now available. John Cheez It Flavored Ranch.

[Brett Vesley]

Here we go.

[Dick Toledo]

Hidden Valley just announced.

[Brett Vesley]

You know what we need to do is start to look at the whole news feed and see what he skips. Probably amazing stuff.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesley]

Man.

[Dick Toledo]

Because we. We pay for this service.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. And if you've noticed whatever they want.

[Dick Toledo]

That he gets from the service toward him.

[Brett Vesley]

That's what I'm saying. I think there's an algorithm Just ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

Of National Ranch Day on March. Jesus.

[Brett Vesley]

This one cures it.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the one cured paralysis.

[Brett Vesley]

Nobody cares about these stories. You guys know Jalapenos aren't as hot as they once were.

[Dick Toledo]

Grilled cheese flavored tomato soup. Campbell's rolled that out. And your favorites can be the Oscar Meyer meatless hot dogs over there. It's the same thing you said about the butter.

[Brett Vesley]

What possible. Yeah. What in the world do you think leads you down a road to say, wow, people will love this.

[Dick Toledo]

And if you're asking, I prefer the Elgin stick.

[Brett Vesley]

Nobody give you Elgin stick.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, exactly. Elgin Baylor.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, that's right. All 18 inches of that. People will want to know about Campbell's new grilled cheese tomato soup. No, they won't.

[Dick Toledo]

In a survey of millennial men, 72% said they're anxious about how their body smells on any typical day. 52% worry about that they have BO and they aren't aware of it. And out of that, 59 said they'd like someone to tell them they smell.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm constantly worried that I stink.

[Dick Toledo]

Body parts. Men are most concerned about armpits. Number one, Their neck, their hair, my face, their head and hair. And then arms.

[Brett Vesley]

No, Brady, you don't have to worry about that. Neck. Yeah. Or head and hair. Where do you stick? Why do you smell so bad? All these things you don't even have.

[Dick Toledo]

25% of men said they're worried about the smell of their hands.

[Brett Vesley]

I am now worried about smelling my hand. Why do they smell like Brett's nuts? What have you been doing? You and Bennett smell like my. My donor in law. Ban it. Yeah, I'm constantly worried that I stink. I hate it. Breath, armpits. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be that guy that we. Everybody's had that office guy that. Whose clothes didn't dry right.

[Dick Toledo]

The guy who had garlic at lunch.

[Brett Vesley]

That guy is. Well, at least that's a one off if it's every day. But the dude whose clothes. Yeah, sorry about that.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't smell like garlic.

[Brett Vesley]

You just sweat it. But the people who have the clothes that they don't dry, right, they sound. They smell stale. And it's usually. All of us will talk about it for months. Nobody ever says, dude, give him those gains sent beads. Right? But he stinks for days. And every time he's around, that's part of it. That's musty, gross, or body odor people. And you're just like, how don't you know? And then I. Then I'm like, maybe. I don't know, maybe nobody's telling me. Oh, I worry constantly that I. My breath is terrible. I stink.

[Dick Toledo]

The site World Tips just put out a comprehensive report on regional slang throughout the US covering 14 areas with distinct dialects like Hawaii, New York, Philadelphia, Boston, New Orleans, Midwestern Pittsburgh, Seattle.

[Brett Vesley]

Sure.

[Dick Toledo]

So here are the five. What's that?

[Brett Vesley]

Seattle has an accent.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett Vesley]

So I don't think so. Dialect.

[Dick Toledo]

America's favorite overall slang region. Oakland, Hawaii, Hawaii dialect, followed by why not New York?

[Brett Vesley]

I listen to people on the Internet, and most of them are speaking with no, that's sounds like. Right. Everybody's speaking Oakland.

[Dick Toledo]

What I found. So Hawaii number one, followed by New York, Philadelphia, Boston, and New Orleans.

[Brett Vesley]

I put New Orleans way over Boston and Philly.

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't do. Our least favorite, Austin. But the four that didn't make the top 10, Mississippi, Seattle, Pittsburgh, and Midwestern H. Our most loved slang word overall comes from Texas.

[Brett Vesley]

Cooch.

[Dick Toledo]

Conniption.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, that's a slang word? Yeah, it's like a real word.

[Dick Toledo]

Wicked is second.

[Brett Vesley]

He just reports it, doesn't look into it. But conniption is an actual word. How's it.

[Dick Toledo]

Sure, but it can be. I mean, don't slang words make the.

[Brett Vesley]

Was it made in Texas? Yeah, but I mean, what are the. How are they using it as slang, is my point. Like, when you say somebody had a conniption, you're actually defining that they had.

[Dick Toledo]

A fit, a rage, a tantrum.

[Brett Vesley]

Right. That's a conniption. That's what it means. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm confused. What about wicked?

[Brett Vesley]

Like, slang's like dope. A wicked sort of slang. The way they use it, like, that's wicked. You're taking something that's.

[Dick Toledo]

Ken is also slang. That's out of Texas. That's the third most favorite one my son uses all the time. No cap, dad.

[Brett Vesley]

No cap. No cap. That's slang. No cap. That just means he's not lying. Right.

[Dick Toledo]

Most hated slang term is from Chicago. Slashy, which is a hybrid bar or liquor store establishment. Never heard it before.

[Brett Vesley]

Went to a slashie.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Is that the party word?

[Dick Toledo]

Ripper from Boston, the second most hated and the third most hated is Colorado. Kool Aid Slaying for Coors.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, all right. I sort of like that for some reason.

[Dick Toledo]

I think I do, too.

[Brett Vesley]

I like Colorado.

[Dick Toledo]

The favorite slang from New York is cringe. From California's out of pocket. In Chicago, Grabowski, inspired by the local football agent Jim Grabowski.

[Brett Vesley]

And what is that? How do you use Grabowski in a sentence?

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't say. They didn't say on that one. But they said out of pocket, which is used when someone has crossed a line.

[Brett Vesley]

Right. So he's.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't know that.

[Brett Vesley]

He's gone out of pocket. Yeah, but Krabowski, you got no idea.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, they didn't follow.

[Brett Vesley]

But it's great slang to bring up to people is what you're saying, even though you have no idea how to use it in a sentence.

[Dick Toledo]

The most hated slang from New York is brolic.

[Brett Vesley]

What's that one?

[Dick Toledo]

Which is having an exceptionally muscular physique, sort of like buff or swole.

[Brett Vesley]

Brolic. Brolic sounds like a. It sounds something different. Yeah. Brolic is something that happens in the gym, but in the locker rooms privately. You want a brolich? I'm good. You know what? I'm gonna go for that.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you.

[Brett Vesley]

Get over here. Great value. Give me some of that vanilla. Brolic.

[Dick Toledo]

A bartender in Florida is making a good living right now because spring break's happening, and she's making a bunch of money slapping spring breakers in the face.

[Brett Vesley]

I've seen this. Yes, she's kind of cute. She's not cute enough to hit me for 30 bucks.

[Dick Toledo]

You take a shot, you have a pitcher of water thrown in your face.

[Brett Vesley]

She's in a blue bikini. In the video I saw.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Right now, she's selling up to basically $6,000 worth of shots a night.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, it's novelty fun. And she does have a great set.

[Dick Toledo]

Of abs, but the one they're showing is frat bro.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah, no, the frat guys are all over this. I mean, this is. Yeah, this is idiot patrol. But she's cute, too. She's cute, she's got a great body, but it's not like.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, super celebrate.

[Brett Vesley]

She does the shot out of her mouth, chucks water, and then hits all the dudes act like they're much worse than the bro. There really isn't much worse than a gaggle of bros, too, if you get a murder of bros together.

[Dick Toledo]

Got a couple of radio videos.

[Brett Vesley]

By the way, I got an email from a celebrity about the Bennett situation a few seconds ago. It says, I feel bad for that girl who's fallen in love with both her original boyfriend and her boyfriend's dad. The reason I'm sad is because she can't even afford a car with trunk space for her grandchild. Signed, Casey Anthony. Like, wow. Well, thanks for checking in, Casey. Just get rid of one of the angles on the. On the triangle of love. Casey Anthony checking in. This one's violent. Is the one that hits this multi slapper. Oh, this is a. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the A gaggle of idiots that stand at the bar.

[Dick Toledo]

All them frat boys just getting smacked.

[Brett Vesley]

I'll do it, bro. She can't hurt me. And then a bartender pours a bucket of water on all five of them. Teeks. And she goes, yeah, it's teeks.

[Dick Toledo]

Pay 20 bucks for a shot and to get wet.

[Brett Vesley]

Alpha Teeks. Teeks and a hell. Idiots. God. No one likes fraternity people. Sorry, Brady. No one likes you.

[Dick Toledo]

Now, currently slapping.

[Brett Vesley]

Currently, you're fine. But the. Huh? The pikes or something that came in, walked into that goddamn Q Club. Pikes in the house. Like, what's going on? We're just walking into an establishment. They had a little triangle. Like they were, you know, New Zealand warriors.

[Dick Toledo]

They were doing a haka.

[Brett Vesley]

Stop it. Everything turned into a chant. They did this thing. Also, I hated them. Why was I hanging out with those guys? I hate them. They would do this thing where one guy would say something, One go. That's a slow clap. And then they'd start all clapping. And I'm like, what are we doing? Homework. You're not doing it. I'm like, I'm not in your little stupid pay for friends club either. Idiots. Yeah, you're late on dues. I liked a couple of guys. They worked at Tony Rose. And then they took me over to their frats. Their parties were.

[Dick Toledo]

We didn't do that when I was in a fraternity. We pinned ladies and we wore straw hats.

[Brett Vesley]

Serenaded and you saw in black and white.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm gonna make her mine. There's my letterman's jacket. Gentlemen, I'd like you to clean up the fraternity house I'm about to bring around. My best gal. Pissed off your fraternity brothers by putting.

[Dick Toledo]

Cokes in the beer machine.

[Brett Vesley]

I pinned a little lady over there from the Alpha Moose, and boy, does she love cocaine. Wow. This newfangled thing called cocaine. How about that? Well, they didn't know what it was yet.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, there you go.

[Brett Vesley]

Keeps you up. You can study even longer. That just means better grades. We are the best. We. I hated that. That might be. I've had. I've had some, you know, 50, almost 52 years on the planet. I had some bad days. That's a top tenner, hanging out with those idiots. That was just the most embarrassed I've ever been. And the fact that they thought, and I gotta hand it to them, a couple of girls were interested in that kind of crap. It was just awful. Just awful behavior by awful people. It's out of control. Now you're listening to the best of Holmberg's morning sickness. And this is Frank Caliendo. And you'd think I'd be doing a better voice for this promo at the moment. Or is it technically a rejoin? I don't know. I'm not in the radio business. But what I am going to be doing is a little Donald Trump. It's good, but not as good as.

[Dick Toledo]

The best of Bloomberg's morning sickness, which we're getting back to right now. That's the weave, and we just wove back.

[Brett Vesley]

Can you do me a favor? Hi, Richard. I need some, like, strong, like NBC News. I have it in here somewhere. I just don't know where it is. My NBC news stuff. I want Brett to. I want. Brett. What I want you to do here. As in you're auditioning to be my newsman. Okay, he's the goofy one there. I want, like, real, like, I don't want to.

[Dick Toledo]

Certified, like, I want to go.

[Brett Vesley]

I want, like, you to be my newsman. I want you to be like. This is a serious goddamn story. Everybody, listen. There's gravity to this. This is. All right, some gravitas. I want some Tom Brokaw style quality reporting here. Not this Brady nonsense we deal with on a regular basis. I want you. You got it.

[Dick Toledo]

You're talking about two different qualities, John.

[Brett Vesley]

There it is. We're using the word quality. Well, quality. Yeah, quality is not really being. I'm not throwing that huge.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm not throwing it described word.

[Brett Vesley]

If that works there. Well, see, there's. There's the type of sentences we're used to. That's what I'm talking about with you see, I can't compete. I'm not doing. Nobody can compete with whatever you just said. This is it. All right, Now I'll tell you. This. This. This sounder here, 23 seconds long. If Brett makes it through the sounder, I'll be shocked.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, what are we supposed to do?

[Brett Vesley]

23 seconds. Come on.

[Dick Toledo]

That ain't nothing.

[Brett Vesley]

There is no way.

[Dick Toledo]

Do you want us to make through.

[Brett Vesley]

This story as a serious newsman? No way. And this is a serious story. This is like no joke story. But you, my friend, cannot deliver this. Now, come on. You can't do it. Are we ready? I'm just. It's almost like post it the news. It's. I'm gonna hand you this story. The print is fairly small. I don't know if you need readers for this. Do you have readers? Probably give them your readers. Toledo. Are they. Let me see it. Maybe. Yeah. All right. It's pretty small. Like, the print's really little. Yeah. You think you can see that? Don't pre read anything. Don't pre read anything. Just. All right, ready? Give me those. It's very small print. Very small print. And you tell me when you're ready. I want you. Don't read, don't read, don't read, don't read, don't read, don't read, don't read, don't read. Look away.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, I've got twos.

[Brett Vesley]

Try Brady's tooth.

[Dick Toledo]

Boy.

[Brett Vesley]

This is a group of 50 year old dudes. Can I borrow your goddamn readers? This is brought to you by Dr. Jay Schwartz because I don't need readers and my eyes are fantastic.

[Dick Toledo]

I have an appointment with Jay today.

[Brett Vesley]

Get rid of these glasses. I need to go with you. Embarrassing.

[Dick Toledo]

You're gonna like the.

[Brett Vesley]

This is how 50 year old dudes try to read menus. No, no. Before you do it, don't read that story. Don't read that part. Just make sure you got. Just. No, no, no. It's a little bit better. All right, all right. Do you want me to read the top here, part two, or read the headline. Okay. And then after you get through the headline, I'm gonna start the music. All right, you've got. There we go. Way. No way Brett Vesley gets through this.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay?

[Brett Vesley]

Now the reason I'm doing this before even is that if Brett was a serious newsman, this is his last day.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, come on.

[Brett Vesley]

I'm telling you, right?

[Dick Toledo]

There's like a paragraph.

[Brett Vesley]

Nothing.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on.

[Brett Vesley]

You're not getting through it. All right, here we go.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, hang on, hang on.

[Brett Vesley]

Read the headline and then I'll start the news. Okay, you read the headline, and then I'll be the big announcer guy going. It's time now for KUPD News with anchor Brett Vessel. And then. Then you'll have time after that. All right, ready? Yep. Go. Arizona and California authorities search for missing woman after bizarre disappearance. It's CUPD News with anchorman Brett Vesley. La Paz County, Arizona. Police in Arizona and California are asking for help as they investigate a missing 27 year old who vanished at the end of February. Amanda N. You. I told you didn't make it. That's what it says. Her name is Nenegar. Yes. There's no way. And the way it's spelled, you can't. That's because that's how you'd say it. It took me about three reads through to get to Nenegar. There is no way. Started over. You can't you can't abduct people with the N word as a last name and expect news people to keep their job.

[Dick Toledo]

He's John Jennifer More.

[Brett Vesley]

I told you. I told you. Only you.

[Dick Toledo]

What's her name?

[Brett Vesley]

Amanda Niger. I don't know how you say it. I don't. That's what it looks like. It's like vinegar, only different.

[Dick Toledo]

It's.

[Brett Vesley]

It's N, E, N, I, G. A R. You got a hard. Spell it. You got a hard R. Who? Last name. And it's not fair. Now, this is a terrible story. This girl's been abducted. They don't know where she is. The authorities are saying she's lost and they don't think she's in a place they're going to find a living person. And then the news has to say that word. And there's no dancing around that.

[Dick Toledo]

Who we looking for? Brett?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Amanda.

[Dick Toledo]

Amanda Miniger.

[Brett Vesley]

Stop it. When I read it, I'm like, brett's delivering this news. You can't do that. The news people, if your name is that, change it. We live in. We live in very fragile times, very sensitive time. You can't have a name like that and go missing. Your name has to be Smith or Johnson or something like that. If you go missing, you can't have that last name and have us take it seriously. People like Brett will start laughing. You made it. Seven seconds. Seven seconds. It wasn't even close.

[Dick Toledo]

You're thinking like 20.

[Brett Vesley]

I didn't. I didn't. I actually was. If you read the headline, plus my introduction. That's why I was like, Once this music starts, when the story's read, he's gonna make it two lines. When he hit her name, I'm like, that's it. I saw his face when he said a man in. It's terrible. Cause the story is so terrible. Such a terribly serious story. But people like you.

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[Brett Vesley]

I read that and I'm like, brett's reading this story and he can't. And now I gotta go looking for her and stuff. But. Yeah, you can't look right now. Let's just give a description. No, we don't. No, not from him we don't.

[Dick Toledo]

I ain't trying to feed the bear.

[Brett Vesley]

He's gone.

[Dick Toledo]

Where was she last seen?

[Brett Vesley]

You can't say that phrase with a big giggle behind it. Where was she last seen? Seed alive. The terrible story. Just dreadful. There's a family out there, the main family. They are sad. Yeah, that's right. Get such a kick out of it. It's terrible. You can. If your name is a slur, you have got to change it. I get that guy who emails me all the time his last name is Coon. We're in a very sensitive time. I don't want to be friends with you. You and then have to go on the news and say, my Coon friend is missing. No, Mr. Coon, you cannot go missing with a slur for a last name. Well, that's a long story, too. I made it, like, two sentences. I used to call it the read and rip News. Would come across an AP line, and you're like. And it would have, like, a red print on top. I remember when I first started in radio, it was the end days of the Read and rip. AP press line. And this machine would go. You're like, oh, something bad's happening. Read and rip. And that would be. There's a woman missing. We're looking for Amanda. God damn it. You can't. You can't get redacted. Her name. Yeah, Amanda. N word. Her last name is terrible. If you have a terrible last name, nothing about your family is worth hanging on to. They have made nothing of it. They have made nothing of this. We are proud, Nen. Just like your grandfather and his grandfather. Change your name. Cause if you go missing, this is the end result. People laughing at you. And you're out there in the woods somewhere going, why won't anybody take this seriously? Well. Cause the news is giggling. You're still laughing. Imagine if this was on channel 12, Karibe, just sitting next to Mark Curtis while he just can't get it together with a missing person. Can't do it. Stop it. And immediately, right now, you should have permission to take the day off. By the way, your work will let you. You've made everyone at your work wildly uncomfortable with a terrible last name. So if they're like, look, I'm gonna go down and change my name to something else.

[Dick Toledo]

People just overhear it slightly walking by the water cooler or something. What'd he say?

[Brett Vesley]

What'd he say? What'd he say? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's job's at risk because of your stupid name. Hostesses at restaurants can't even call your.

[Dick Toledo]

Table party of four.

[Brett Vesley]

You guys, party of four. You'd hear me in the bar just dying. One family just got a party of what? Shut up, sir. That's our proud family name. You shouldn't be proud of it.

[Dick Toledo]

Nine what?

[Brett Vesley]

Should never be proud of that. It goes back to the Chappelle Show. Exactly. With the N word. Family. Exactly. And what Did. What's Chappelle's last line in that sketch? This racism is killing me because the people's last name was a slur and they were oblivious to it. This poor lady is missing. There's a family who wants their daughter back. Well, damn it, we're not helping. Well, I hope they find her because I want to do the follow up. Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

You want to build another seven seconds. Brett wants to build a base so.

[Brett Vesley]

You get through the names. Yeah, you should do it as a John. Bringing you switch Brady out in our. In our poor man's Howard Stern show. You're no longer Red Robin. Look, look, we got the news. We got to take it seriously around here. The poor man's Howard Stern. I'm gonna switch it over here to Brett Quivers. Brett Quivers. Here's the news. Brett Quivers delivering the news. Amanda. Nene, stop. You can't. You're not allowed. Red Robin, you're back over there. You're back to Breteljuice. And of course, Baba bastard is here to make sure everything's all right. Oh, I told ya. I told you you weren't gonna be able to do that.

[Dick Toledo]

Brett Vesli, 7 second news.

[Brett Vesley]

I got the facts down, though. What? Got the name. We're not trying to figure out her name. We know that. We gotta figure out where she is.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll get there eventually.

[Brett Vesley]

And then you know the jokes. We gotta go find that Nen immediately. Don't you Nen worry about it. We're on the case.

[Dick Toledo]

Have you seen our Nen?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Get you there. It's just awful. Newsman. Brett, how many people's jobs are at risk with that kind of missing person? Oh, man. You're welcome.

[Dick Toledo]

John, you remember those 50s shows where people would walk through the field screaming the name of the person they were looking for?

[Brett Vesley]

50 shows. I don't know. That's what he said. The 1950s. They did abduction or they just people or 50 people. Maybe that's what he means. Oh, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Doing the field sweep.

[Brett Vesley]

That's my old theory. Is it? Yeah. Adam. Adam. They never really took it seriously. That's the kid would be found alive. My theory's always been, they say, we have hope. We're gonna go look for him. And then they join hands, look down and kick high grass.

[Dick Toledo]

Where should we look? Let's look for him at Spook Hill.

[Brett Vesley]

They all look down.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you think?

[Brett Vesley]

All right. No, no, no. I don't want this. I don't want people starting to email in their Racist friend's name. His last name was this guy's. All right, that's enough. Because it'll never end. And then we'll lose him for months.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, don't show that.

[Brett Vesley]

But to the Coonrod family who just emailed in, change your goddamn name. It's not like you've got this history that's like. Well, we can't change it. Too many people. We're too important to society. Look, Coonrods, nobody knows you for anything. Good.

[Dick Toledo]

You guys are assholes. It's fine if her name's Amanda Cracker, though, right?

[Brett Vesley]

Well, let's not get into the bet versus. Where's we t. Stop it.

[Dick Toledo]

This is our family coat. Coat of arms.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, Coonrod. It's a pre. If your name is funnier than the accomplishments of your family's history, change your name. Coonrod is not something that's. Well, I can't change that. It's too synonymous with the progress of humanity. Nope. All right, let's go back to Robin, Brett Quivers, see if he can get through the rest of the story and find this poor lady. No, you're not reading it. Okay, come on.

[Dick Toledo]

He was ready.

[Brett Vesley]

I was ready to go. Come on. It's just terrible. Don't do that. And I feel bad for Troy Hayden, and, you know, I hope they report. I want to watch and see how it's terrible. And it's going to be a national story, and then it'll be on Dateline. And people like Brett, well, you're never going to find anybody with a name like that. Too many people giggling. It ain't right. Jesus. I'm not reading that. The first one's probably safe. I'm not reading either of these. Damn it. No. They're hilarious. But dangerous, See, because the name's dangerous. Can't even say sorry, Christopher. We tried Christopher DeWitt. Stop it. Is that the same Chris DeWitt I worked with at Tony Romas? I wonder. I don't. I don't know if that's. He's also very funny. Anyway, yeah, so I'm. I'm watching and looking at news last night. I'm like, okay, this is. This is. This is tragic. This is a tragic case. This is a bad story. And my first thought. Oh, it's terrible. My first thought is, brett can't read this. Like, what if it all comes down to Brett and the cops are like, you're our only hope. You have to help us find that nigger girl. I made it to. That's his name. I Made it to the second sentence. And he just start. Watch. Stop laughing. God damn it. This is serious. There's a missing out there. Stop it. I need to give it Ian Schwartz. I'm giving some pointers. Oh, Ian Schwartz just goes right to the weatherboard. There's this gust of wind. Terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible story. Oh, knew you couldn't do it. And it is my hope that she is found Me too. And comes into this studio and smacks you senseless. What? I said her name. I know. And then. And then you laugh and she's like, you know what I've been through, you son of a bitch. Smacks you all over the room. And then goes. Does the decent thing down there at the state, whatever it is. And changes her name to something presentable. Ain't that a Amanda N word? Just smack me in the face. Be like Chris Rock. It's out of control now. The Best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of Homburg's morning Sickness. All right. Yeah. A few weeks ago, we had that lady wandering. It was on Flag Day or President's Day. What. What day was. It was President's Day. Right. And her husband stayed home and banged her. His brother in law.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

And she came home early from work and caught him. And it started that storm of crazy. And I'm like, why are you. She emailed us to out him to basically say this was the guy who did it. And I didn't use his name where he works. My brother was his victim. But they were. He was in on it. He loved it. They'd been at it for 11 years. Crazy. Great story. Then we hear from somebody they worked with saying that this crazy lady's done this before. And then that was one. The one that started. The guy from Gilbert. Oh, it just got out. It got out of control. It's a great week. Maybe this will do the same. Because this is a very similar thing. Why you people. And this is not unusual that for some reason I'm a sounding board on my email for you're crazy. There's another one. This one's pretty good too. It's not a what would Brady do? Because there's nothing you can do about this. But it kind of has that vibe. Says, hey, Holmberg, here's some drama for you. My son is 20. He came home. He came to me on Thanksgiving to tell me that he was going to leave his girlfriend of the last two and a half years. And she lives with us because she's pregnant with his baby. And he said, we're not getting along. I found someone else, and I need you to kick her out. When I break up with her, evidently everybody living at dad's house. And he said. I told him that I wasn't going to kick her out because she's, you know, she's carrying my grandson. She is also 20, almost 21. Anyway, the baby came in February, and I didn't kick her out. I'm a decent person. In fact, since the child happened, it's made me love like I've never known before. Saturday afternoon, I came home and my son and she were in bed together. And it's devastated me because I have completely fallen in love with her. Uh, I thought you felt the same about me. I'm sharing this with you guys because I need someone to make sense of this, A. And B, I need you to make fun of me. I need to hear from you because I'll hear the truth. I never thought I'd become one of the people I hear about in the Brady Report, but this might be an all time top 10. I was absolutely ready to propose to her. I was just about to tell my son about the relationship and be out with everything. I honestly think she's the love of my life, but he is the father of my grandson, and they're going to work it out. Did you hear what I just read?

[Dick Toledo]

Wow.

[Brett Vesley]

Sounds like the beginning of a pornhub video. It's the worst. Yeah, says af. I'm a mess. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I do feel like I should just leave, walk the earth, change my identity and get out of here. Signed Bennett. This dude was gonna marry. Now, the fact that his son came along and banged her again is the best thing that's ever happened. He was about to marry his granddaughter's mom. Think of that. Oh, yeah, yeah. You. Yeah, Brett. I know it's hard math, but once you get your brain on it, he was a. He was. He fell in love with his son's girlfriend who gave birth to his biological granddaughter. And he was gonna marry her because in the interim of him having his son break up with this pregnant girl and keeping her in the house, he fell in love with her. Now, I don't know that that means she was doing stuff to him, Right? You don't just fall in love from a distance and then say, I'm gonna propose.

[Dick Toledo]

Do they?

[Brett Vesley]

You know, oh, they were getting it on. I'm guaranteed assuming that. Well, you don't propose to someone who you don't plan on proposing to someone who's the love of your life without at least dipping your toes in that water. You're not just gonna shock her. But evidently she wasn't aware of the feeling. She just knew that there was more going on. She's banging the whole family. And we need some proper music for this. Oh, you got something? I got some. Here you go. So, Bennett, and you have a rich guy's name. You should. You should be named, like, Roscoe or something. Bennett, please email me, Ben Bennett, and tell me whether or not you've actually purchased the ring. Because the baby's, what, three months old now? The baby will always be in your life. You've got to stop boning your granddaughter's mother. That just has to happen. What is going on out there?

[Dick Toledo]

And have the other side of, you know, like, her side of mom and dad, the other Grammy and gramps.

[Brett Vesley]

They banging her too?

[Dick Toledo]

No, but are they in that mix and all sudden.

[Brett Vesley]

You know what I read?

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, well, they know she's pregnant, but. Yeah, what would they be? Do they not? Well, yeah. Where are they? Why is she living with you? What happened to her trailer? AJ Stories. Wow. You know, Bennett, maybe it is a good idea. It's sad that you're not suicidal, because I think that would be a healthy emotional response. Not to commit suicide, but just for a little while. Think about it there. This isn't normal. Don't kill yourself, but be suicidal for a few minutes and just go, wow, this is something I really need to hit rock bottom here. And then pull yourself out of it. Don't bang your granddaughter's mom. That's. I didn't think I'd have to say that out loud.

[Dick Toledo]

You got played by that she devil.

[Brett Vesley]

Sounds awesome.

[Dick Toledo]

Now she's pulling the sun back in the mix.

[Brett Vesley]

You know what she's saying? You're so much bigger than your father. Oh, God. We've seen the video. We've seen the video. And this is where, and I rarely say it, porn has led us astray. Oh, yeah, those sentences right there should not be something we think of as hot. Oh, you're so much bigger than your dad. Ah. And I, may I remain erect and finish off if. If the stepmom's hot enough. Also, Bennett, here's something that you want. The truth. The lady raising your granddaughter's a whore.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brett Vesley]

That's the other thing you need to start paying attention to.

[Dick Toledo]

Have a father, son. Catch.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, God. Oh, you've had a catch.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

You're Eskimo brothers. With your son.

[Dick Toledo]

I can't believe you fell.

[Brett Vesley]

And you'd be loving on that. I'm gonna marry her. I'm gonna marry this girl. She's been raising my baby. Well, my son's baby I'm gonna marry. That is gross. Stop leaning on me for all this. I can't take it.

[Dick Toledo]

I picture him walking in the door with a bouquet of flowers and a ring.

[Brett Vesley]

And then he walks into that son hosing her.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Dad, get out. I'm with my future beloved. But she's mine. I was gonna be betrothed to her. Get out, dad. Oh, thanks for not kicking her out, bro.

[Dick Toledo]

And don't wake the baby.

[Brett Vesley]

I'll tend to the youngin while you two get on. I was gonna take her to the Waffle House tonight for a nice dinner. I was gonna take her to the country buffet, and I was gonna ask her to be my wife. We were gonna be betrothed. But I come home, I see my son, his baby's mother, and just broke my heart. Bennett. Bennett. First off, kick everyone out of the house. Bennett. Reset. Kick everybody out of the. The double wide and reset the locks. Everybody's gotta go. They can't make it without me. Oh, they'll be all right. They're not doing too good with you, buddy. What do they do, live on the streets? That's where a. That's where the trifling ass deserves to live. And. And your son is a disaster, too. You've created a boundaryless society in your house. It is trailer parks frown on you, Bennett. Most trailer parks would be like, that's too. That's too much. We got more class than that. Next question. John. Tyrus, I have to ask Bennett. Oh, I don't like the next sentence at all. Tyrus, did you raw dog her like your son did? What if there's another baby in there? That would be the ultimate, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, she's pregnant again.

[Brett Vesley]

That Bennett knocks her up. And now the granddaughter. What would that kid be? It would be cousin. It would be its own nephew, let's say. Okay, I can't. I gotta. Yeah. I need a piece of paper. If. If Bennett put a baby in the mother of his granddaughter, baby comes out.

[Dick Toledo]

That older baby would be a nephew, right?

[Brett Vesley]

Which means. No, the younger.

[Dick Toledo]

The young.

[Brett Vesley]

The younger baby would be the nephew of the uncle. No. Yeah, the younger one's the uncle. Yeah, that's right. The younger one's the uncle. Stop it. Stop it. The fact you're not suicidal blows my mind. Take a second to think about that and Then just start over. Trailer parks laugh at you. Bennett. This guy says, is this real? This can't be real. I don't know if somebody's making it up.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

I said, didn't you guys have a theme song for this kind of drama? That's right. Remember, we was on. I forgot too. It was on Rock Wars. Yeah. Hang on. I got the list here somewhere. Oh, damn it. I won that one too. You're right. Marcus is right. We did. I'll find it. Oh, it's. It's a pretty good theme song. Oh, what's going on in this situation? So anyway, and this is a cautionary tale to all of you listening right now. Who can relate to this if you're having sex with your son's wife, the mother of your grandson. Stop it. Stop doing that. Stop it immediately. Stop that.

[Dick Toledo]

It just happened so fast.

[Brett Vesley]

There it is. He looked at me, I looked at her, and we just knew it was. Oh, like, yuck. That's right. What a wonderful moment. I forgot. Yeah. Because we're all living in the same little blue marbles. But the other song worked. Oh, yeah. This is the one that wraps it up. What a wonderful world. Because this is the thing we need. These are Brady's rose colored glasses. When you realize Bennett is.

[Dick Toledo]

You know what?

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe daughter in law.

[Dick Toledo]

They're still a family.

[Brett Vesley]

No, you're not. You're not a family anymore. No, you're not. No, you're not. The family's over.

[Dick Toledo]

Connected in other ways.

[Brett Vesley]

Not a family. Let's talk about that for a second. You're not a family anymore. You're not. There's a certain time where it's, well, family is all that matters, right? You ruin that, you're not a family anymore. The son is just in name.

[Dick Toledo]

That tree snapped.

[Brett Vesley]

You can't talk to him anymore. That girl's out of your life forever. Please, no branches on it. It's straight up. Oh, God damn it. The granddaughter is a lovely. You got. You got two months with her. That had to be awesome. You know, start seeing the silver lining. You had two great months with your granddaughter, and then you couldn't see her anymore.

[Dick Toledo]

And you've been fathering that kid.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. You've been doing a great job.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a tough job. Get him a tough shed. They'll be fine.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, evidently, he's not the only one fathering them. Because the son came home.

[Dick Toledo]

I think the son was gone.

[Brett Vesley]

Maybe. And then. But he's only been.

[Dick Toledo]

He was telling the girlfriend, I got a new girl right but that was.

[Brett Vesley]

You know, that's what she.

[Dick Toledo]

So he did his little he's side.

[Brett Vesley]

And then he got. And then he came back. It's immediately hillbilly if the girl you're dating has to move into your house with your parents. There's something to that immediately. And I think everybody who's had that situation is like, this is a little trashy. If the girl you're dating has to move in with your family and you're not able to take care of yourself on your own, so you still live at home. And now you drug in the girlfriend and you knock her up. There's a whole lot of white trash.

[Dick Toledo]

Going, why is she living with you guys? Well, she's in a messed up situation with her family.

[Brett Vesley]

Her stepfather and her had a bit of a break off, like, oh, oh, he was doing it too. Vader says it the best. Nothing like hump day says incest, right? It's so true. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Louie. Yeah, it is a. So what you got here, John, is a half brother, uncle, cousin. That's exactly right. That's exactly what it would be. It's a half brother, uncle, cousin. Bennett, pour. So much like I would want a bowl of plan B, like alphabets for that girl to ingest right now. Just in case, I'm gonna boil up those insides. You better hope that the supreme court changes its mind in the next day or two. Because if she says she's pregnant, do not have the half brother, uncle cousin. Don't have that. Show up. Half brother, uncle cousin's only a funny story to the people not involved in it.

[Dick Toledo]

Band name.

[Brett Vesley]

Half brother, uncle cousin's a great band name. Half brother, uncle, cousin. And again, another great question. Why in the was my email the first one you turned to? Don't you have anyone in your life better than this? I'm not gonna fix anything. I'm telling you, you should be suicidal. I'm actually the worst person to have emailed.

[Dick Toledo]

This is the verbal smack to the back of the head.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes, it is. Well, he asked for it. Please make fun of me. I know it's bad. Bennett. Bennett and I don't care about your lives. I.

[Dick Toledo]

How.

[Brett Vesley]

How long has he been. Was a dad banging her? That's the thing.

[Dick Toledo]

Fascinating.

[Brett Vesley]

According. According to the email, Thanksgiving is when the son said, I'm gonna break up with her. I need you to kick her out of the house after I do it. She was evidently. What was that? Six months pregnant at that point. She had it February, so six, seven months. That's pretty Late in the game to break up with somebody too.

[Dick Toledo]

And he's. But he's fallen in love. They haven't got it on.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, they've gotten it on.

[Dick Toledo]

They. They broke the inside the six week.

[Brett Vesley]

After the baby, February. Maybe you're right. They got it on while she was pregnant, which. Oh, dear sweet mother. She was in like late trimester. She was. She was full on globe and belly. So Ryan says. Do they know who the dad really is? Yeah, well, I mean, well, if he's. I don't think it's.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know. I mean, is he telling us all the truth?

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, were you nailing her?

[Dick Toledo]

Because it sounds like they moved in.

[Brett Vesley]

When she got pregnant. Right. That's what I'm hearing too. Anyway. I don't know. This is creepy. Why do I. Why do I hear from you what happened? Like I'm P.T. barnum now. I'm like, you're the freak show. You just keep showing up at my door and I. Yeah. His step brother, uncle, cousin.

[Dick Toledo]

Does he have his Bronco half brother, uncle, cousin?

[Brett Vesley]

It's a Bronco. It's a Bronco. It's a half Bronco. Half Bronco sounds like something you do. If you twist your nuts up and put them in the crack of your ass, that's. I'm giving myself a half Bronco. Okay, well, I hope we helped because my suggestion to you, and I don't know if Brady would say the same, is suicide is probably somewhere high on the list. Top five thoughts. Listen to shinedown. Yeah, Listen to shined up. Don't commit suicide. Like Queen said, don't try suicide. Think about it though, and then. And then realize you're better off outside of this family. Your family's over. I don't. I don't buy into that.

[Dick Toledo]

They can still rally up to be gramps.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Years down the line.

[Brett Vesley]

No, you've lost your rights off. You're done. You broke up with your family.

[Dick Toledo]

I want Thanksgiving to happen.

[Brett Vesley]

It's over. I don't ever understand people who say family is everything. But what if you. What if in this particular case, your dad. His granddaughter's mom.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, here's what's tough.

[Brett Vesley]

No, you're out. No family. You're out. Then you're done. No family.

[Dick Toledo]

This kid probably is, you know, doesn't have money. He's got this kid and the chick.

[Brett Vesley]

Got a 20 year old and you gotta.

[Dick Toledo]

And you're saying I'm stepping away from all of that?

[Brett Vesley]

A 20 year old girl? Keep in mind this is the 20 year old girl's life before she's allowed to legally drink. How turnt up is she about to get when she's allowed to go down to the bars?

[Dick Toledo]

What else does this viper have planned?

[Brett Vesley]

Right, because the trailer park turned. Yeah, she hasn't. She hasn't even explored a little bit of what's coming. Literally, it's bad. You got one on the printer there too. Oh, no.

[Dick Toledo]

The girl he left her for was her sister.

[Brett Vesley]

Just keep it alive. Let's keep it. Let's keep this balloon floating. Keep tapping it in the air like the ball's got to stay off the ground. I'll read it. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead. David Vasquez has a question for Bennett and his family. How many times has the son kissed the baby's mom with dad's wiener breath? And the answer to that is a lot. A lot more. One is too many.

[Dick Toledo]

That's why you're moving on.

[Brett Vesley]

One is too many. And he breached that number a long time ago. You're right. Well, there's a. Well again, Brady, you're. You're saying there's a six week window from birth to next sexual activity? Yeah, but this is a family that doesn't follow many rules. So I'm thinking maybe that six weeks turned into seven to 10 days before. Well, your butt didn't. It didn't have a baby. Your mouth certainly didn't have a baby. I love you. Oh, Daddy. Bennett. Our little half bronco looks just like you and your son. Of course. Because the DNA, that's how that works.

[Dick Toledo]

It's still got. I mean, you know, that'd be brutal if it was a C section. He's busting stitches.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, he's breaking them out. Look, I'm making your scar bubble. Yeah. Yeah. He's so much bigger than your son. Well, yeah. Yeah. Ethan says there's so much to be said about this hillbilly mess. First of all, I hope Biden just heard that he's here. Yeah, that's right, Joe. Second. Come on, now they get to say the same thing you do. At one point, everyone in the room has all been insider. That's very true. That's everyone in the room at one point. At every Thanksgiving, you have to remind yourself, the baby, the daddy and the granddaddy have all spent time inside that tauntaun. If grandpa becomes grandpa, dad, how will they know? Won't dad and son both pass the DNA test? I've often wondered that too. Because they said that the DNA. I learned that from the O.J. trial is that his son's DNA would also be the same with him. Especially back then when it was good technology, but not great. So if it was Simpson DNA, it could be his son Justin, too. So I don't know how this works anymore. Also, John, if he loves her, that means they've already boned. Because in that family, love happens after that. That's true too. Trailer parks don't fall in love before consummation. People want to know what this broad looks like. So send that hillbilly toothless pictures over. Well, first off, she just had a baby eight weeks ago, so not great. Unless you. Well, she's 20. She might have told that same.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, your jugs are so big right now.

[Brett Vesley]

And to that emailer, is her hotness. Let me ask you this. To that email, is. Is her hotness a factor in this situation or are there. Is that something that might change your mind on whether or not this is a good idea? She is. She's really hot. I mean.

[Dick Toledo]

No, no.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, says grandpa was definitely hitting it with grandbaby inside there. That poor little fella had grandpa on his forehead just beating up that post birth roast beef sandwich. Satan applauds you, sir. And so do I. I'm impressed with the amount of sin you have committed. Now that you're this far, you might as well just have a devil's three way with your whore and the Eiffel Tower that son of yours. Cross her back. Ah, then for the sake of humanity, right as everyone is about to finish a double murder, homicide, just a whole party. Get your high seat in hell and just sit back and look at what you've done. That's not a bad idea. Eiffel Tower with your son over this horrible human being's back. All of you are terrible. You know, the innocent one here is the son. He doesn't know this is going on unless he listens. Now, because if your dad's name is Bennett and you just had a baby six weeks ago, guess what?

[Dick Toledo]

Because he's holding the secret.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, the son doesn't know. Yeah, the son just went back and had sex with an ex girlfriend and.

[Dick Toledo]

Mom getting back together. I'm gonna be a father.

[Brett Vesley]

His baby's mama. I was like, you know what? Or maybe not even getting back together. She lives at the house. It's gonna be hard to turn that down. I think Bennett's son needs to get a paternity test, make sure it isn't dad's. Yeah, but that's. That doesn't. See, but that would Mean, dad was banging her way before. You're right. You're right. Why am I drawing lines with this hillbilly story? You don't know? I am. I draw lines.

[Dick Toledo]

Son, you got her pregnant.

[Brett Vesley]

Exactly. Oh, my God. Why? He was pretty forthcoming in the email. I'm pretty sure he had told us, like, I might be the daddy. I don't know if you're gonna. It might be a step too far for him.

[Dick Toledo]

There's the religious side of it too, huh? That the kid gets pregnant, we have her move in. I don't want anyone to know what's going on here. And he's like, well, I love her. And that's why he wouldn't even get it on with her. He just fell in love with her.

[Brett Vesley]

What religion is this? Yeah, no kidding. Oh, I Jesus of Bat Nazareth Brady. I don't know what religion says. Well, when my son gets a woman.

[Dick Toledo]

Pregnant, I'm gonna bang her, will marry, fall in love with someone, and will marry them before consummating the marriage.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay, but she's pregnant with her son's child. I don't know what religion says that makes things better.

[Dick Toledo]

It doesn't. I'm just saying. No laser off for this guy.

[Brett Vesley]

He doesn't have these things. Well, we gotta make it right.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brett Vesley]

But in the eyes of the Lord, we have to make this right. And if I have one thing to say about Jesus Christ. Look at the cans on that girl right there. My God, I'm gonna. My grandma. I love his mama. If he was trying to make it all right in the eyes of God, he took a wild left turn somewhere around St. Patty's Day.

[Dick Toledo]

My son has sinned.

[Brett Vesley]

This one says she's still banging dad when the sun's away. Well, yeah, clearly. This is an interesting approach. Banging her, that's fine. Loving her not okay. I'd say banging her. No, that'd take us to hillbilly, too. Yeah, banging her is not okay either. Are you telling me he fell in love with postpartum? Yes, he did. It sounds like he. He fell in love with it after it broke open. It's out of control now. You PD grab some protection. Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. Somebody akupd. I don't like that this email starts off with the subject. Similar situation to Bennett here. Hey, John. I have a similar situation to Bennett without the incest. My wife and I had a baby who was nine months old, and her dad and stepmom had a son who was 4 months old. So my Son has a half step uncle who's five months younger than him. And that just be. That's because your dad married some young lady. Good on dad. Yeah. Because my ex wife's dad, perverted as he may have been, hooked up with some lady 20 years younger that they.

[Dick Toledo]

Would save a lot.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. And then she wanted to have a baby and he was 58 and she was in her early 30s or something like that. She wanted to have a baby. My wife's little brother was 30 years younger than her. That kid's got to be pushing 20. And it was weird Tony Randall situation. Oh yeah. But I mean it's. And that, that just comes from, you know, the guy who got divorced and then hooked up with some young girl and then realized, oh Jesus, she's gonna want a kid. They didn't talk about that. And he didn't want one at all. He hired out constantly, that kid. I'm sure once it became like a human being five, six, seven years old, it could function a little bit on its own as a baby. He was not involved that night. That night nanny he hired was amazing. 10:00 she comes and just sleeps in the same room as the kids and nobody wakes. It was amazing. She liked Rebecca De Mornay. And no, she was cute, but she wasn't that good. Good. They did have one that was really hot. Evidently she was just temporary.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

I was standing there in her house and 10 o'clock the doorbell rings.

[Dick Toledo]

Hi.

[Brett Vesley]

Hi. Hi. What do you want? And then Tom comes around and goes, that's the night nanny. What's a night nanny? She stays in the room with the baby all night long. You pay her to sleep here? Yep. Think I want to do it? Because if that kid wakes up, I ain't getting off.

[Dick Toledo]

It's your turn.

[Brett Vesley]

I ain't changing a diaper and I ain't waking up. And I'm like, what about the mom? She didn't get nothing. This one says, does hotness matter? You asked. I did ask if hotness should. It doesn't play a part here. Of course it does. If I'm going to falsify a branch, a branchless family tree to bang her, I need to know if she's hot. It doesn't. No, it does not. The story eliminates whether or not this girl is so hot. Now we as men.

[Dick Toledo]

I have a Bronco.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, Broncole immediately makes it so. I don't care how hot she is. There's more damage than heat. Guys say things like that. I'd eat the out of her, okay? You'd eat corn out of this and blah, blah, blah. We say that. We don't mean it. She's so hot. You'd do horrible things you've never once said. I shared loads with dad with her. Oh, no girls that hot. My dad and I would share that. High five over her back. Maybe even each make a child with it. Oh, thanks for the email, though. It makes for great radio. But stop it. I mean, seriously, stop it. Brady, you managed to take the crazy easiest role in this entire story by trying to bring religion into it. What? You know, what in the are you talking about? It's true. I don't know what religion says. We did the right thing here, all right? And this is. This is when I realized I had to stop being friends with a guy named Andrew. My high school buddy lived across the street from me in Greenway High. His house was the place we would go after school. Then one day I realized we had to stop being friends. At the time, his little brother confused him about trying to bang his girlfriend. His brother said, how many times are you gonna try to do this? And I asked. He's trying to bang. He's tried to bang your girlfriend on a lot of occasions. And he said no. He tries it with every girlfriend I've ever had. It was too much for me. We've had to stop hanging out. That's when you realize somebody's got no boundaries in their house. That's a good thing to see. Some good insight. You were raised right. Only daddy Bennett had that. Tyler says, and through it all. Good punch here. And through it all, they're still better fathers than Toledo's dad.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I'm surprised. It took us 45 minutes to get there. I literally thought that was where the first time.

[Brett Vesley]

At least this baby has two two dads. As twisted as it may be, at least there's two of them. Oh, my God. I don't know what to think of you guys. Yeah, just stop it. I don't want to keep going. Who are we talking to? Where's all the normal people that just said, hey, Just got a raise and promotion at my job because I'm such a normal person? Normal people don't email.

[Dick Toledo]

Who are we talking to?

[Brett Vesley]

Who are we talking to? I know, and I'm still curious. Like, I should be used to it. You can still surprise me. That's the only reason I'm waking up in the morning at this point is you guys still surprise me. David Vasquez head, that's up. Damn it, David. Trying to move on. I don't know if you can go with this one. Let's see. Yeah, sure you can.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

David, for no reason at all, puts these two cents in. Boy, that dad must be a fan of fresh roast beef sandwiches and long, drapey curtains. Maybe he. Maybe he likes arby's and the 1980s drapey curtain flowing kind of window. But David, in order to know she had that, he had to get her pants off. Unless he was in the delivery room. Oh, come on. All right, here's one. No. Stop it, John. Dan knocks up Dua Lipa. Then she then decides she wants to give you a ride. What do you do? Dua Lipa is pregnant. He wants to have sex with me. Yeah. Dan knocked dad's baby inside. Oh, man. First off, that's worth a high five to dad. How did you do that? This isn't duo my life.

[Dick Toledo]

Dad. Yeah, can I get the men in black flashes?

[Brett Vesley]

Afterwards, my dad says I had sex with Dua Lipa and made babies with her. And then Dua Lipa wants to have sex with me. Yeah. Let's give you a ride. Right after Dan planted one in her. You've turned me. I'm Bennett now. I get it, Bennett. This girl isn't Dua Lipa, is it? Wow, that's tough. I'm gonna have to say I'm on Bennett's side on this one.

[Dick Toledo]

Guys.

[Brett Vesley]

That's a great thanks for. Sometimes you have to see both sides of the coin. Donnie flipped it on me.

[Dick Toledo]

Guys, I really love your show, but you know this is a white person's problem, right?

[Brett Vesley]

Yes, it is. Yes, absolutely. Oh, we know you guys have your own baby dramas, and it's very rarely 2 dads. White people have too many dads. You guys have no dads. It's just a crazy thing. Wait a minute.

[Dick Toledo]

We started the show with the 67th happiest country in the world, and this.

[Brett Vesley]

Is going on because we got so much spare time. This doesn't happen in unhappy countries. They're too busy working eight or nine jobs or crapping in rivers. There's too much personal hygiene. Hillbillies are clean.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, did you say that in the delivery room?

[Brett Vesley]

That's what I said. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

That's why. That's why he got to look at the.

[Brett Vesley]

He knows what it's like. You got to see the Big Montana. And he thought, well, that's right down my alley right there. I hope that doesn't heal. Yeah, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

That's right.

[Brett Vesley]

Welcome to the world. Like Brady gets reborn Every single Letter you write. That's not a thing, is it? Yeah. You're out of Arlington, my friend. It is. This is how the world is.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, I know some religions.

[Brett Vesley]

There are some religions that can fix this. Nuh. Even Jesus said yourself, what is wrong with this world? There is a chance, however, John, that the girl that slept with Bennett is named Amana and is now missing. There's a good chance he's going missing and we have to find that. If you weren't listening yesterday, you're confused, but it's very funny. Oh. Oh, yeah. That one's almost too far.

[Dick Toledo]

Do it. Yeah, you can throw it away.

[Brett Vesley]

I just have to dance around the. All right, I'll just present the scenario to Brady. Just to watch his. Watch his butt pucker through his eyes. So while she was pregnant, evidently she was dabbling around with Bennett Grandpa and probably didn't feel much like having genital relations. Okay, so she was orally pleasing, mouth hugging. Granddad, everything she eats. Come on. You're fired. Show's over. Did I do all right with that bread? His was more graphic. The email was, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

That is a weird food pyramid.

[Brett Vesley]

Baby came out with biceps so much protein. Jesus Christ. That's my granddaughter. But I would have to say that I think I'd snowball with Dua, Lipa and my dad. I think that's something. Sure, why not?

[Dick Toledo]

John, I get that you're putting a rose on this. Suicide is painless. Not the theme.

[Brett Vesley]

The theme to match should be it. Yeah. Bennett, you should really. How are you recovering from this? How does this get better from here? You just have to divorce your family and move on. Yeah. You know what? He was right. Walk the earth, change your identity. Pull a full Walter White, move to the Granite State. You're. You're now James Lambert. You're you're new life. Go to the vacuum store and get a new identity.

[Dick Toledo]

From time he still could apply. Go count penguins up.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh yeah. Antarctica's got a job for you.

[Dick Toledo]

Five months.

[Brett Vesley]

Some mundane counting is probably in your future. Just sitting in a snowy wasteland. Vast, white, snowy. But they don't have my daughter in law up there. She's gonna make me miss her more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

[Dick Toledo]

I missed it because I was in the other room. What are the ages again here?

[Brett Vesley]

The kid, the son was 20. The daughter was about to turn 21. And God knows how old Bennett is. My guess is 28, right? You would think.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, maybe.

[Brett Vesley]

Probably had his son.

[Dick Toledo]

Probably hasn't cracked 40 yet.

[Brett Vesley]

Second or third grade. I don't know. I don't. Bennett, I. You know what? I'd say email me back, but don't.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no, no.

[Brett Vesley]

Come on. Keep this. It's only so much I can handle. I thought it was a peak of this stuff. The lady wanted in her husband and her brother doing it. Thank you guys for. I mean, the show's hit an all time high or all time low at this point. I don't know what's going on.

[Dick Toledo]

Toledo knows. There's a couple real nice cities in Arkansas that Bennett can go to. He'll fit right in.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, I don't know. Wander over there. Just get out. Mead Lawson says tell Toledo to stop at the black voice. You can do it, but I'm gonna kick his ass. Okay. This lady says normal person checking in. It's Rochelle from Gilbert. We love her. I'm beginning to think you were right all along. I'm too normal for the show. Every time I see her and her husband, I'm like, you have to stop. You're. You're both far too normal to be listening to this show because it's a hilarious story. I have to keep my office door closed. I'm laughing so hard. But the half brother uncle cousins got me Rochelle. Well, it's a thing.

[Dick Toledo]

It got all of us.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, I guess that's true. Jerry Springer had a show every day. Those people have no outlet anymore. Where are they going? The Internet doesn't like. You have to just tell your story somehow.

[Dick Toledo]

So you say Bennett was just consumed with need.

[Brett Vesley]

They'd have been on Jerry Springer.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Like yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I know. I'm with you. I'm following you.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. They leaned on us. Oh God. Well, you might as well just get that baby and that mom too. Just let that baby bang away way everybody needs a taste of mama. I've been here in a counting them penguins and every day the past made me miss the big Montana more.

[Dick Toledo]

Give me 17 years later I'm ready to marry her again. I walked in on her her sell.

[Brett Vesley]

I got to tell you something though. Made me feel a little insecure. My boy made her swampier than a page on Ducks Unlimited. So I was a little bit upset when the moisture factor people are throwing out band names. I don't know why that's a thing. I don't want to know. I'm not saying those words. Anyway, that's it. I don't know where to go for it's only 7:30 in the morning. We. We cause more nausea before 7:30.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe. Maybe Pete can go out and have a couple of toots with.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah, if Pete's coming in. Well, this is the type of stuff he does. Yeah, you tell him. Should have saved it for him. For Christ's sake. Pete Lee's just running by him. Yeah, give me your drama. And Kyle says, here you go again, Holmberg. Sticking that giant Juno's into other people's families. Here come the carrots for me. That's true. I should have never gotten involved. I fully believe I should have never gotten involved. It's out of control now. 98 KUPD. The best of homework's morning sickness on 98 KUPD. Just goofing around through the whole day because it doesn't count. This is a phone at end day. Shouldn't be here. We're just making up for lost time today. You should get some, like, free gas or something. Not just pull aparts from Cinnabon. Wendy's, was it Wendy's here. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. How dare you? I'm sorry.

[Dick Toledo]

It is a Cinnabon.

[Brett Vesley]

No, it's not.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I think they're carrying a Cinnabon.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, are they? Well, I'm not gonna argue with you because I would assume you're gonna know he's not spitballing. Is it Cinnabon for real? It says Cinnabon pull apart from Cinnabon. Yeah, they. Yeah, they partnered him, I think.

[Dick Toledo]

I think he's right.

[Brett Vesley]

That's right. Of course he's right. I'll get my fingers bit off even talking about that. We talked about it, though. Wendy's having their flex pricing. Yeah, they're talking about, I think is Wendy's trying to mobilize lard asses because it. In the. It's very difficult to get, you know, giants up and moving around. But they threatened just two days ago to have flex pricing. Like it's gonna be a little more expensive to buy a baconator now from 2:00 to 5:00 during flex times than it will be from whatever, seven to 10. And they had picketers outside of a Wendy's in New York. Those can't be the way things are. Big people got up out of their chairs. That's nearly impossible. And started to fight back. You give them a cause, they'll move around.

[Dick Toledo]

You have a. You have a fixed price on it, basically. And then I think I see it during the day, like mid afternoon and all that. It just lowers. That's what it generates more lower down.

[Brett Vesley]

To what it is now. Yes, that's what you're dreaming.

[Dick Toledo]

They're always that. I mean, that's how I would use.

[Brett Vesley]

It, of course, but that's the 12 hours. It's cheap. Don't fall for this. That's what they do with it. I know you're very excited about the possibility of finding the free good time. Uber said the same thing. Hey, if we're not using a busy time, we'll go down. But also, if it is busy, they'll go up. It's like gas prices. They never go back to where they were. No, they go almost. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to get flex pricing always in your favor based on the baseline price. That would have been a different marketing campaign. They wouldn't have called it flex pricing. They'd have been like discount days. Flex pricing means it bubbles.

[Dick Toledo]

It'll go up, you're in line, it goes up a dollar.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh. If you're a chick, you're not there before the time. If Chick Fil A or In N Out had flex pricing, you'd watch that little number going up like crazy. Because I've driven by the In n Out. And just for the inconvenience of the employees of 30 people willing to wait for french fries, prices should go up a little bit. Kind of, you know, thin it out a little. Am I for flex pricing? No. But is it gonna work? These pigs are gonna. They're not. You could. You have to charge a hundred dollars for Baconators to go away, then start looking at other stuff. Those Baconators are. That's cocaine. Those people aren't quitting their Baconators. They just don't want it to. They just want to be loud initially. Like, don't allow this to start. Same thing they did with Netflix. Saying we'll never raise those prices. Just sign up. It's set for life. Remember that Netflix said this is the price you get for life. Except for your life has to last like maybe eight months because we're going to raise your price. Our Internet provider. I won't.

[Dick Toledo]

I won't say which one, but they gave us a deal. $65 a month. We won't ever change for life. As long as you're with. With us.

[Brett Vesley]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

That doesn't include when we change our.

[Brett Vesley]

Name, they change their name.

[Dick Toledo]

Change their name. Our price went up 10 new deal.

[Brett Vesley]

Read the fine print. We also can identify as something. You're no longer that person 2024. They can identify however they feel. I don't feel like the old company.

[Dick Toledo]

We got it for 60, 25 bucks a month for two years. Change the name.

[Brett Vesley]

We're with Caitlyn Jenner, Internet. It just made a big swaparoo on us and the prices went up. Never believe flex pricing's gonna work out for you. I know you're dreaming of the day you pull up and The Baconator is 17 cents because you're the only guy that showed up that day.

[Dick Toledo]

Him and Randall. Remember how much Randall loved the Baconator?

[Brett Vesley]

But I'll tell you exactly when the price will go down is when there's 40 cars in line. It's gonna go up when there's nobody there.

[Dick Toledo]

That doesn't make sense.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes it does. If you run a business and you're not selling anything, the prices better go up a little bit for the next dude willing to buy it to make up for all the lost. You get 60 people in line, you got volume sales going. The prices can drop.

[Dick Toledo]

People at the higher price, you're making more money than you are. The one guy you give.

[Brett Vesley]

You're not gonna get 60 people. They're gonna leave. The price is lower when there's. Walmart is a perfect example. The prices are lower because they've got more to sell. Volume sales, volume sales always dropping a little bit. You got a dude pulling in your parking lot and it's like, tell him it's eight bucks. He's the only one here. We're the only game in town. Eight bucks for a Baconator.

[Dick Toledo]

Yesterday was three.

[Brett Vesley]

I had to wait in line for four hours. Flex pricing for food. We're in trouble.

[Dick Toledo]

We'll see.

[Brett Vesley]

Thank you fat asses of New York for getting up out of your double wide recliners and yelling at Wendy's for that. But we'll see. I don't see this going away. I've got 34 television channels I pay for. Basically just John McCain started to yell about a la carte television and I remember screaming, no, no, no, no, no. This is going to get worse. Each of them are allowed to charge us something. No, no, no, no, no. We need an overlord.

[Dick Toledo]

You'll see.

[Brett Vesley]

We need an overlord. I think my friends, you should always have the ability to buy each channel. No, no, no, no, no. Each channel is going to charge whatever they want. Your blowing it and now your TV bill is pick and choose. And it's probably about same as it used to be for cable. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail], the home of tactical black self defense training. Just saw a video of a guy who went through was getting a bat swung at him on the side of the road. Boy, did he do a perfect job of bat defense. They've. We've done that in the last few weeks. Bat defense, which is a blast. Yesterday we did odd stuff like if somebody pulled a gun on you in a crowd, how to disarm someone or get the gun out of the way without shooting the guys next to you. Do not be the one who accelerates the situation. Don't be that guy. They teach you that right away. Reactdefense.com were there yesterday doing a bunch of great stuff. Had a blast once again and then threw about 130 pitches. Playing baseball afterwards. Love it up there. You can be part of this thing for the price. Just you cannot beat 199 bucks. Two months personal training, hands on right there at the house of bruise and you become a better version of you. Be a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you know there's a Good Times reboot hitting Netflix on April 12?

[Brett Vesley]

I did not know.

[Dick Toledo]

Actually animated and it's R rated. Ready for this? The characters are described as the latest generation of the Evans family from the original Norman Lear sitcom.

[Brett Vesley]

So It's Michael and JJ's kids, the grandkids. Well, they would be old, too.

[Dick Toledo]

Thelma.

[Brett Vesley]

Thelma. So it'll be. It would be Thelma and Michael's kids. Kids. Like, they'd be the grandparents now. Oh, I think so. Thelma. Thelma's got to be 60.

[Dick Toledo]

The voice cast includes JB Smooth, JJ70, Yvette Nicole Brown, Jay Pharaoh and Wanda Sykes.

[Brett Vesley]

That's some names right there.

[Dick Toledo]

They have a little trailer that you can check out. Got a musical legend that died. Bob Hile, the creator of the Talk Box.

[Brett Vesley]

No kidding. The Peter Frampton thing. No kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

And someone listed the top 10 songs. He actually originally was designing it to help Joe Walsh out.

[Brett Vesley]

Rocky Mountain Way, right? Was it Rocky Mountain Way? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Okay, That's. That's on the list of Talk Box songs for sure. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Kickstart My heart.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Number 10. Those shoes. Eagles. Great song.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah. I know those shoes.

[Dick Toledo]

You know it.

[Brett Vesley]

Who? What? You give love a bad name. The Bon Jovi. Is that right? That.

[Dick Toledo]

Living on a prayer.

[Brett Vesley]

Living on a prayer. Here's those shoes. Oh, yeah, There it is. Okay. I realized that was what that was called. Great. That's a great Talk Box one. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Pigs. Pink Floyd, Haitian Divorce, Steely Dan, Hair of the Doll, Nazareth.

[Brett Vesley]

Nice. I Didn't realize it was in all this.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't either. Do you feel like you do Frampton, Living on a Prayer. Bon Jovi, Rocky Mountain Way. Joe Walsh, Sweet Emotion. Oh, yeah. And then show me the way. Peter Frampton, number one.

[Brett Vesley]

I'd put. Do you feel like we do that? Me too. That's not even on the top 10. No, it was four. Oh, four. Okay. Yeah, but that's the most talk box back that you got. That's a cool sound. I like when Marty and the band start screwing around with that thing. It sounds neat. I still don't get it. But it's not for me to understand. I'm not playing.

[Dick Toledo]

Forbes released their list of the highest paid actors of 2023.

[Brett Vesley]

Adam Sandler, number one. I saw that. $73 million. For what?

[Dick Toledo]

For his own projects. Right, for that deal.

[Brett Vesley]

They pay him? Yeah, the spaceman movie that he just. That just came out. Nobody's talking about it. He's got a couple. A couple animated things.

[Dick Toledo]

The animated stuff I think is big.

[Brett Vesley]

Good on him for getting it, but I don't get it, man. And Jennifer Aniston's on the list too. What movies was she?

[Dick Toledo]

42 million. She was number six.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. What was she?

[Dick Toledo]

What was she? Residuals from Friends.

[Brett Vesley]

No, that's movies, isn't it? Yeah, that's just movies.

[Dick Toledo]

Movie paid for last year says ice paid actor.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, that could be. Okay. Maybe it isn't about movie. That might be Friends. But wouldn't all of them get that they all have the same deal?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you think so?

[Brett Vesley]

Margot Robbie made like 20 million less than Adam Sandler. But she was only in one movie.

[Dick Toledo]

This year. Endorsements in any non entertainment investments were not factored in.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, Caprio's got to be on there somewhere.

[Dick Toledo]

He was number seven, tied with Jason Statham. Statham was on 41 mil.

[Brett Vesley]

What did he do? He did the Beekeeper. Was there another Expendables?

[Dick Toledo]

Of course there was another Expendables.

[Brett Vesley]

Jennifer Aniston's on that. That Apple TV show.

[Dick Toledo]

Morning Show.

[Brett Vesley]

I was trying to figure out what else she's done too.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, she's also executive producer on that show. Margot Robbie was number two. 59 million, which is right. Tom Cruise, 45 million, number three. And then Denzel was number 10. 24 mil.

[Brett Vesley]

Did he do a movie? Another Equalizer or something? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Did he have Equal?

[Brett Vesley]

Third one was out, but that was.

[Dick Toledo]

Not a couple years ago.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know. And the Oscars are this weekend and I only know of Barbie and Oppenheimer. You think Biden will mention those two things? He's got a appeal to the young. Yeah, yeah. Equalizer 3 was 20. 23. Okay. Good movie. I liked it. Equalizer. Maybe you'll just review movies tonight. Equalize. Not bad.

[Dick Toledo]

So to jump back a little bit, all friends actors get 2% share of the total $1 billion the show earns from streaming royalty revenue. So that means about 20 million each year. Each. So anything she makes on top of that?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, so she made another 20 million on the Apple show. That's pretty good work. That ain't bad if you can get it. Enjoy roofing that house today. It just made your day a lot better, didn't it? Knowing that? Just watching Friends reruns. But, you know, it's what brings money in. Arizona's most powerful rocket institution. It's out of control now. 98 KUPD.