BEST OF HMS PODCAST - COMBINED SEGMENTS - Wednesday March 12, 2025

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcast - Combined Segments (March 12, 2025)

Released on March 12, 2025

Welcome to a special compilation of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS), Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show hosted by John Holmberg, alongside his co-hosts Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Known for their entertaining, provocative, and often controversial discussions, the HMS team delivers a mix of humor, satire, and unfiltered conversations that keep listeners engaged and entertained.

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Satirical Commentary on Modern Issues

Rebranding Controversies Brady Bogan kicks off the episode with a satirical take on the Ku Klux Klan's alleged efforts to rebrand themselves as an inclusive organization. He humorously critiques the idea of such a historically oppressive group attempting to diversify its membership by including blacks, Jews, homosexuals, and Hispanics.

Brady Bogan [00:43]: "Well, those days are over. Thank God. The Klan has opened the door. All are welcome to blacks, gays, and Jews."

Brady continues to mock the superficial changes, emphasizing the absurdity of attempting to redefine hate with broader targets.

Brady Bogan [02:49]: "They're squids. You don't think they're legit."

The Nature of Hate and Intolerance

John and Brady delve into a philosophical discussion about hate, tolerance, and modern-day relationships. They explore the idea that while people strive not to hate, underlying intolerance persists, often leading to subconscious biases and grudges.

Brady Bogan [05:01]: "I think you need to start an entirely new group with new uniforms because I don't think you're gonna get a lot of black people to come to your way."

Their banter highlights the complexities of human emotions and societal changes, all wrapped in their signature humorous delivery.

Exclusive Interview with Gene Simmons

One of the standout segments of this compilation is the simulated interview with Gene Simmons of KISS, promoting his new project—Gene Simmons Recording. The segment blends scripted humor with promotional content, showcasing Brady's improvisational skills and the show's playful nature.

Gene Simmons [21:01]: "KISS stopped touring just this December, after 50 years. And we went out with a bang."

Brady Bogan [28:06]: "But he's right. It doesn't matter what it's called. You just have to swing it."

The interview satirizes celebrity promotions while entertaining listeners with exaggerated scenarios and witty exchanges.

Listener Emails and Unusual Stories

HMS thrives on listener interaction, and this episode features a series of listener emails sharing bizarre and often unsettling personal stories. John and Brady respond with a mix of mock empathy and comedic disbelief, maintaining the show's edgy tone.

Listener Email [58:56]: "I spent three years scooping out dad's Little Debbie and forever labeled."

Brady Bogan [62:38]: "This is your half brother here. This is his ex-wife. That's your mama. Hey, Scoops."

Their responses amplify the absurdity of the situations, turning grim stories into laughable anecdotes that resonate with their audience's taste for dark humor.

Humorous Takes on Modern Trends

Naming Trends Gone Wild Brady offers a comedic critique of unconventional naming trends, particularly targeting the trend among affluent white families to choose bizarre and misspelled names for their children.

Brady Bogan [42:25]: "They arrested like six white kids named Talon yesterday. Talon? What kind of name is Talon?"

Brady Bogan [51:01]: "He's a running back out of a Cincinnati Moeller, which was a pretty good high school. We played him in the state finals. Hiawatha Francisco."

This segment highlights the clash between cultural naming norms and modern individualism, all through Brady's sharp and humorous lens.

Mock Segments and Skits

The show frequently includes mock interviews and skits that parody typical radio segments, enhancing the comedic appeal.

Brady Bogan [56:40]: "Who cares? He's Joey. Whoa, he's calling back. You're the producer of this show. You get on that phone. Just take it."

Brady Bogan [116:57]: "No, you just eat this. Third time."

These playful interactions mock the spontaneity and unpredictability of live radio, allowing listeners to enjoy the chemistry and improvisational talents of the hosts.

Closing Thoughts and Social Commentary

Concluding the episode, John and Brady reflect on societal issues such as mental health, family dynamics, and modern relationships, all while maintaining their humorous and irreverent tone.

Brady Bogan [119:55]: "Poverty sucks. Yeah, that's gonna look. And nobody hangs that in their house, right? Nobody ever hangs the poverty sucks."

Their candid discussions blend social commentary with satire, encouraging listeners to both laugh and think critically about the topics at hand.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogan [02:49]: "You need to start an entirely new group with new uniforms because I don't think you're gonna get a lot of black people to come to your way."

• Brady Bogan [05:01]: "I think you need to start a bill of asshole."

• Brady Bogan [28:06]: "But he's right. It doesn't matter what it's called. You just have to swing it."

• Brady Bogan [42:25]: "They arrested like six white kids named Talon yesterday. Talon? What kind of name is Talon?"

• Brady Bogan [56:40]: "Who cares? He's Joey."

• Brady Bogan [116:57]: "No, you just eat this. Third time."

• Brady Bogan [119:55]: "Poverty sucks. Yeah, that's gonna look. And nobody hangs that in their house, right? Nobody ever hangs the poverty sucks."

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Conclusion

This "Best of" episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness exemplifies the show's unique blend of humor, satire, and candid discussions. Through exaggerated scenarios, playful banter, and sharp social commentary, John Holmberg and Brady Bogan deliver an engaging and entertaining experience that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike. Whether dissecting controversial topics or mocking everyday absurdities, HMS remains a staple of Arizona's morning radio landscape.

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For more episodes and updates, visit 98KUPD's website, tune in to 97.9 FM, or access the 98KUPD app.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by MMP Guns online at MMP Guns.com Arizona's largest gun store. It's good to be on top, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town and the best of Holmberg's morning sickness. Brady, I don't know about you, but there's I. And to anybody listening out there who's always thought I want to join the clan, but I'm a black homosexual Jew. I like what they stand for, but because I'm a black homosexual Jew, I struggle with the idea of I don't think I'm allowed in. Well, those days are over. Thank God. The Klan has opened the door. All are welcome to blacks, gays and Jews. Wait a minute, didn't Dave Chappelle do this? I know, it's a sketch from Chappelle. It's a real thing. White supremacist organization is notorious for their, of course, being a little homophobic. I would say that's safe, right? Oh, a little, a touch racist. Perhaps someone would, someone would accuse them of that. You know, it was the lynchings that kind of gave it away that they didn't like black people. But the Klan is now looking to diversify and increase membership. So they've decided to include Jews, blacks and homosexuals. Wow. This is a chief double down situation. No? And those of his who's going to trust this? And Hispanic people, too. They're rebranding themselves the new Klan. All wanting to join the right wing group will still have to wear the robes. They're still wearing the gear. But what's their thing?

[John Holmberg]

They convert to their theology.

[Brady Bogan]

Basically, this is the thing their deal is. The rebranded organization called the Rocky Mountain Knights claims to stand for a strong America and not irrational hatred. So rational hatred, which, by the way, I'm all for, but I think you need to start an entirely new group with new uniforms because I don't think you're gonna get a lot of black people to come to your way. We used to hate the blacks. Now we just hate all assholes. So it doesn't matter what color they are, which is a step in the right direction for the clan. And I can get behind a group progress that's for a new America and not irrational hatred. What constitutes an asshole? That's the problem. You got to have a guy determining who is the a hole and who's in there all hating me, I guess. Well, that's something you need a bill of asshole. Yeah, this is something.

[John Holmberg]

So is this a break off from the clan? Because the Rocky Mountain, it's kind of like the, you know, the fundamental Mormon where they're in the polygamy and it's the same as church.

[Brady Bogan]

Little things you didn't like, but you're going to keep the Jesus. So you just hear the rules. Yeah. Still wear the uniform. You still have the cross. Basically, it's the same thing. It's the same as the Pope saying, let's let gays in. Let's do this. It's the thing where it's like, for years and years you've been against this. Now all of a sudden you act like you're not. That's what they're.

[John Holmberg]

The knights in Jackson, Ohio, are like, what? No.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? Yes, yes. Because they're similar names and things like that. But, you know, maybe some more festive clothes now that you got some gays in there. The robes can get a little more creative. So if you are a gay or a black or a Jew or a Hispanic, you've always thought, man, that clan's onto something. If they'd only let me in. Now's your chance. It's available to you.

[John Holmberg]

And your friends just have two letters of recommendation, Right?

[Brady Bogan]

They don't hate. And I like that, though they're not hating with such a narrow scope. They're hating like I hate with just this wide. I even text you yesterday, I hate so many people because you and I were talking about something and the person we were talking about was driving me nuts. I'm like, my God, just realized I have to put him in a pile of people I hate. I hate so many people, it's ridiculous. And I think I'm like most Americans where you just. You look around your office and make that face. Ugh, I hate that guy, too. How many people here do I hate look around your office today and say. And wonder and count. Keep a running tally of the people you can't stand at work. It's ridiculous. People you have to deal with every day. You're like, oh, I just can't. I guarantee everybody's got at least two every day. Two. At least. That's what I'm saying. Even the nicest person's like, two. Heck, Brady even does it. I won't. I won't name names. But Brady's got a comment he doesn't want to deal with Rolodex right now. Johnny. Johnny just looks at phone content. Yeah, no kidding. Even Brady texting me about people he hates? He has it, too, and he don't make that face.

[John Holmberg]

It's not hate, John. It's gonna spend less time with.

[Brady Bogan]

It is intolerant. That's hate.

[John Holmberg]

Not like.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's not like you got the. So he texted you the names? The actual names. Oh, I hate blackmail. He's got my list, loads of it. I'm like Jared's wife.

[John Holmberg]

It was on the phone yesterday, wasn't it?

[Brady Bogan]

I got one on the phone yesterday. I got another text yesterday afternoon. Wow. You hold on to that. Oh, I've got them all. But Brady won't ever use the word hate. But that's what it is. He's just too, you know, afraid of the word hate. You hate people. Not all of you.

[John Holmberg]

The door. That's not really being hateful, you know, that's being full and hatred are two different things.

[Brady Bogan]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You tolerate people you hate. That's what you just said. I tolerate someone I hate. So I guess I don't hate.

[John Holmberg]

No, I. I try not to hate anybody.

[Brady Bogan]

But you do.

[John Holmberg]

Some make the cut.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, exactly. So you can. Everybody tries not to hate people, but some people are just hateful, I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think there's some. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

I think there's some that go out of their way looking for.

[Brady Bogan]

My rule is you're all assholes until you prove me wrong. And you should feel the same about me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That way you're never, like, bothered or disappointed when you end up hating him. I really didn't want to hate this guy, but I do. Hate is a huge weapon. It's great stuff. Ride the dick up. Hate. But you do, too. You hate people. You just won't say, I hate that guy. You're like Ned Flanders when he finally had to turn to his wife. Ma. And say, marty, I hate Homer Simpson. The whole thing went crazy because he finally said it. He couldn't. He tolerated him and tolerated him until he just couldn't take him. I think I hate that guy. I think I absolutely hate him. You don't want to do that because you got love in your heart. You've been told you do at least. But I know one guy you don't like. I know at least two that I could say I probably put in that category. We all have it.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

The dwarf is the dwarf. The dwarf. Brady hates the dwarf. He won't say so. He hates the dwarf. I don't see you calling the dwarf going, hey, buddy, let's make amends now.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that doesn't mean I hate them.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, it does.

[John Holmberg]

Because I'm not hanging around avoiding someone.

[Brady Bogan]

Due to their personality at all costs. Is hating them his Brady avoiding someone due to their personality at all costs.

[John Holmberg]

I don't avoid the door.

[Brady Bogan]

You true. What? You do not.

[John Holmberg]

I don't go out of my way to avoid the door. If I run into him, you walk away.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, great, there's a door.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on a second. If you knew ahead of time he was gonna be somewhere that you were gonna be.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? Not a 10, right? Yeah, but if the dorf in you, would I go? You would not.

[John Holmberg]

You would not.

[Brady Bogan]

Hosted by Andy the Dorf. Dorfman. Yeah. Are you still going?

[John Holmberg]

I'm busy.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's because you hate Andy the door Adventure.

[John Holmberg]

Guess that if you were at Porkopolis and somebody rang you up and said, hey, you're hate guys here.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You'd stay away.

[John Holmberg]

Nope, I'm going.

[Brady Bogan]

No, you wouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

I would go. Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You hear the collective eye roll across Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I do. I see it.

[Brady Bogan]

You're capable of hate. Jesus, Junior. You sure you can? I know, but just say it. I don't like that guy. I hate that guy. That guy's.

[John Holmberg]

I know. I try not.

[Brady Bogan]

Of course you try not to. But you still do it, so it doesn't mean you're succeeding just because you say, I try not to. You still hate people.

[John Holmberg]

I try things every day. I try.

[Brady Bogan]

I try not to masturbate when we have company. Sometimes I fail.

[John Holmberg]

I've been pretty good on that one.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I have to be more honest. That's impressive. Yeah, man. Ah, crap. Are we eating dinner? Damn it. Sorry, Mom. Sorry about that. Son of a. Mom's over.

[John Holmberg]

Good meatloaf.

[Brady Bogan]

Mom. It's Christmas. Such a jolly time. Look at all the stress. I gotta get it out. It's a year's worth. John, you're doing it. Oh, sorry about that. What's all over my Potatoes, Grandma, don't eat those. The butter is white. No, no, no. Let's have this. Give me that.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever you do, don't make John Stroganoff.

[Brady Bogan]

But that's not a bad idea. The, you know, the clan changing their ways, just a break off and saying, look, we're not. We're not limiting our. That's a big step. We're not limiting our hate to race anymore. I'm not buying it. I'm not either. If I was black.

[John Holmberg]

You're no longer the clam.

[Brady Bogan]

That little group isn't. But they still adhere to all the clan's parts. You know, they're like the west bad.

[John Holmberg]

They're squids.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't. You don't think they're legit.

[John Holmberg]

The clans would think original OGs.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, yeah, that's not a clam, but higher membership. They're breaking off into sections. Like the church. Like the church. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, you know, they're the Lutherans and we still dig the cross and the dude on it. But fundamental clan, I don't like all your rules. So we're changing a couple of them. They've opened the door to a wider membership. Now what they screwed up on is the same uniform. You can't wear the same uniform if you're gonna change up. You can say, we have the basic principles of the plan or we hate people who we hate, but it isn't by race anymore. I fell for a story yesterday that turned out to be fake because it seems. It seems pretty close to being real. Where black guys started their own Klan group in South Chicago because they're tired of all the people that are getting shot and they're taking their streets back. We' Look, I hate black people. There's like eight or nine black guys that hated them and they did this big story. I'm like, holy cow. It seems real, though. It seems like what's going on in Chicago. It seems like that's kind of a good idea. Black Klan group. Speaking of real fake, where did you get your stories? Daily News. It's a real site. Daily News uk. Yeah, it's a real site. I checked it. England. Yeah, I know. They do a lot of news around here, though. Daily mail. I'm sorry? DailyMail.com. this is an English one. Daily Mail. Yeah, it is.co.uk yeah, it's a real deal. Now, I would not, however, not sure.

[John Holmberg]

How high the membership is, but they're starting this deal.

[Brady Bogan]

I would not. I would not. I Certainly if I was black wouldn't be first in line to say I really like what you guys are doing. I'm joining. It could be a trap. They might have just gotten lazy and are trying to bring all the people of color to them so they don't have to go looking anymore. So be aware. But hey, a step in the right direction. Let's not hate by race. Let's hate for reasons like Brady hates personality. It's true. You can't tolerate some people and that's hate. Intolerance is hate. I'm with you. You should hate him. Oh, what's that? Oh, he's got a trap. It's a trap. Yeah, he's got his little Star wars thing. Sorry. I'm a nerd. It's true. No, it's true. If that guy was Admiral Akbar was right. My name is Jamal and I'd like to join your little clan. It's a trap. Why is Tori Spelling yelling that it's a trap? I'm not Tori Spelling. It's a trap. But your eyes are the same as Tori. Stop talking about Tori Spelling. Leave me. Bro. That'd be great to hear Admiral Ackbar say that.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a weakness in the Death Star here. Wait a minute. Hold on a tick. Why is that guy here? Get out. Negro. It was a different time as a long time ago. And maybe Eric will have sign ups for his now. All inclusive clan memberships. Yes. Why not? You hate. Sure. Let's do this. I'll just pass on the information to him. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

That's all you do.

[Brady Bogan]

Contact list. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Prospects.

[Brady Bogan]

I know you're Mexican. This might hit you like a ton of bricks but the Klan is now accepting you. There. Write your name and phone number down and I'll pass it on.

[John Holmberg]

There's a new clan in town.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there is. It's about time they made that swap. Good move. It's a great move. That was Martin Luther King's dream. Black people and white people holding hands hating assholes together despite didn't. They don't see color anymore. They just see dickheads. Damn it. It's about time.

[John Holmberg]

You can't rinse that color thing away from.

[Brady Bogan]

No. It's kind of a bloody history.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But I think I might be for the lynching of dickheads. I think I'm pretty much. I don't think I was a dickhead anyway. I think that's kind of. I got no issue with that. Just depends on how far they take it. Eric. What he got on the big Board of Musical Treats.

[John Holmberg]

First off, have you seen Pill Cosby?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Pill Cosby's pretty solid. If you haven't seen it. They've got Bill Cosby's head on Morpheus's body, asking if you want the red pill or the blue pill. And it's going around the Internet like crazy. And it's pretty accurate. You see the lady who. You know the deposition that came out, bill Cosby under oath kind of thing that went on and on and on, but they released little statements like, did you buy the Quaaludes to have sex with women? Yes. Did you use the Quaaludes on this particular night to have sex with this lady? Yes. And all the admissions that, yes, this is what I do. It's why I buy the Quaalutes and everything else. Now, the lady who took the hush money wants the whole thing released by.

[John Holmberg]

The judge because there's more.

[Brady Bogan]

Because she's like, you're going to find out later that he paid us. He admits to that in there. Now, her. Her silence.

[John Holmberg]

I was going to say, doesn't that take away a little bit?

[Brady Bogan]

She's risking it there. Right. Because she got paid to shut up. She's got that clause in the deal to say, if you take this money, you can't write a book. You can never talk about this. I've admitted it all gets washed away.

[John Holmberg]

Is that perjury?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. It's wildly.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it breaking the.

[Brady Bogan]

She has to give him money back.

[John Holmberg]

It's not breaking the law, but it's.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but she. Because she loses the deal and she can be sued. Right.

[John Holmberg]

That's. She opens herself up to a civil suit.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. She can. Well, that. In the fact. Well, then again, it's almost worth the risk at this point, because if Bill Cosby sues you to keep quiet, it looks worse.

[John Holmberg]

It all comes out.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And then. Yeah. So he doesn't want to, but he's right.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna have to. You know, that's the thing that you'll have to do.

[Brady Bogan]

So she's trying to get the judge to release the entire deal because she's like, you'll see in there that he offered us money. And she goes, and now that I've seen that there's 42 women with the same exact story, I think it's time that we all knew that my case was not unique.

[John Holmberg]

But there was two or three others that. That took money, right?

[Brady Bogan]

I think there were two for sure. I don't remember something like that. There were A couple, for sure. But bottom line, they took the money because they thought, wow, this is. I don't want to get into a big hullabaloo suing Bill Cosby doing this. I think, you know, he did something awful. Yeah. She's like, he did something awful to me. They weren't sure that it went 40 people deep at that point. So she's like, I don't want to be the face of.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully he's learned his lesson. And stop.

[Brady Bogan]

She didn't want to be the one that was like. So he offered her a big, hey, look. I'd take a punch in the trunks from Bill Cosby. Knocked out on my. It's like going to the dentist and having them knock you out. And you wake up with, you know, all the work's done. It's like, all right. And then you get a check at the end. That sounds great. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You wake up with a dentist sucking your toes.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it'd be a little weird. But if he writes me a big fat check at the end, I'm not above it, hopefully. Especially your dentist. Yeah. You're awesome. My dentist does it. Forget about it. I go back, I'd be knocking teeth out every day. I did it again on top of you. You wake up kind of stunned. What's like, the only thing missing is a hookah and, like, a tent harem. And then John Doherty. Dr. Doherty comes in. That would ruin everything. Arizona's most powerful rocket station. It's out of control now. 98k u PD all they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Homebrew's morning sickness. Yesterday we told you that we had an interview with the legendary Gene Simmons of Kiss. Now, not being a huge Kiss music fan, that aside, I am a big Gene Simmons fan as far as, like, personalities and things. There's a no better musical businessman on the planet than Gene Simmons. So he called this. Or he called us. His people reached out and said he's got this project he's doing and he'd love to promote it because he's the ultimate promoter. So he wanted to do an interview, but he wouldn't do it during the show because it was, you know, he's on Gene Simmons time. He's not getting up early. So we. We taped it yesterday at 10:30. If it was good, we were going to run it. If it wasn't, no big man. Bus just farted, and I might pass out. Holy Christ, dog. Come on. What are you Feed him. Wow, he's been doing this for two days. That's brutal. Okay, it's gone.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thank God for allergies.

[Brady Bogan]

Sorry. That was a quick wafting of the worst smell I've ever had. Anyway, my apologies. Back to business. Wouldn't it be great if that happened? If Mark Curtis said that. Wow, Kariba just farted. Folks, I'm gonna have to take a break from the story. Anyway, so Gene called us yesterday at 10:30, and yes, he was Gene Simmons. And it was very arable. He's cool. So we're gonna play that for you now. And keep in mind, I'll tell you after the interview how much all this costs. Okay, so what he's promoting right now is a great idea, a very good idea, and very unique and awesome. Then there's going to be the price, which I don't think he mentions once, does he? I don't think he talks about it. He wouldn't say the price. I think we said it. But he didn't say.

[C]

Did we?

[Brady Bogan]

I thought we went to the. Said go to the site. I wanted to see if he was going to say it. I know I didn't, because part of my plan and my brain was see if he says how much Gene Simmons was on with us yesterday. And this is him right now. It's 98 KUPD. Gene, take it away. Mr. Simmons, are you there?

[C]

Sure, I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

How are you, sir?

[C]

Deliriously happy.

[Brady Bogan]

You're delirious. That's a great way to start this. I want to start by asking you a question. If it's a dream of mine, sort of. If I never touched.

[C]

I never touched her.

[Brady Bogan]

If I. If I could interview you as you.

[C]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that okay?

[C]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

If I told you that Gene Simmons was talking with Gene Simmons, what would Gene Simmons want to hear.

[C]

How great I am?

[Brady Bogan]

You are great, young man. You know this deliriously great. In fact, it's not bad, right?

[C]

You're going to be popular in jail. I have a feeling.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. But I mean, let's be honest. It's. It's a lot better than that hat Craig Gass is running around doing.

[C]

Well, Craig Gas does an amazing thing, and it was a very sad event on Stern. Somebody was sick. Who I knew famous actress and Stern was. You know, it is bad. When he was a bad boy was. Oh, my God. He was saying all kinds of things. And she says, no, it's okay. I'm fighting it and I'll be fine. And he says, you know, we've got a phone call. Coming in from somebody, you know. And she said, who's that? He goes, oh, Gene Simmons is on the phone. Oh, Gene. Yeah, put him on. So I'm in the car, by the way, hearing this on the way to someplace. I come on and, hi, how are you? It's Gene. Oh, Jean, how are you? Nice to you. Listen, I heard about you're fighting this disease and everything, and I want to send you something. She goes, oh, that's really sweet. Yeah, I'm going to help you with fighting this disease. I'm going to send you a KISS lunchbox. And of course, I got so much hate mail. And I kept saying, that wasn't me. That was, you know. Was this Craig Gas guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. If Craig had any money, we'd have sued him, right?

[C]

No, I don't sue everybody close to it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's beautiful. Also, before we get into why you're calling, it's been years since you've been on this show. You don't remember it, but do you realize how much your voice and Benjamin Netanyahu's voice are the exact same thing?

[C]

Well, we're from the same country.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, but that's not true of everyone from Israel, is it?

[C]

You mean having that voice?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't. I think you're right.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, well, I've got to pay closer attention to world affairs to realize that's how you identify someone.

[C]

Well, that's why you get the big bucks.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe why it is now. Speaking of big bucks, what you're doing right here, you are the greatest musical businessman of all time. I think I'll stop it.

[C]

But. But tell me more.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, no, I. I truly believe this is a great idea of what you're up to. I'll let you explain it because I think it's pretty neat, but tell me what you're doing.

[C]

Okay. So KISS stopped touring just this December, after 50 years. And we went out with a bang. Three days on the COVID of New York Post newspapers. Nobody's ever done that. The Empire State Building lit up with Kiss. 800 Kiss taxi cabs driving around. If you went to the subway, got KISS tickets, every pizza box had us on. I mean, it was crazy, right? But enough is enough. 50 years is plenty. So since then, I've decided to do things I've always wanted to do but could never do it because the band ate up so much of my time.

[Brady Bogan]

May I interrupt you for a second, Gene?

[C]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't believe you.

[C]

I've heard that before.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you're going to tour again.

[C]

Well, I Am going to tour again with the Gene Simmons Band. But Kiss is done.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't believe you.

[C]

As a matter. As a matter of fact, Gene Simmons brand is headlining some festivals this summer across Europe.

[Brady Bogan]

But.

[C]

But let me finish the thing because I'm very. I'm very excited by it. So when I was growing up and when you guys were growing up, we heard the latest record by Pearl Jam. And by the way, they've got a new track that's terrific. You should play it.

[Brady Bogan]

I think we do.

[C]

And all kinds of cool stuff. And we had no idea. It was a mystery what the recording studio was all about. How did they do it? What's a microphone? How do you record? What's an amplifier and all that. So I'm. I don't believe anybody's ever done that. I'm going to take about 50 or 60 lucky fans, and I'm going to take you into the studio May 4, May 5, in Las Vegas at Hideout Studios. And the shortcut is go to Gene Simmons Recording. And once you're in the studio with me, you are going to record and I'm going to produce you. Now, here's the. Here's the hook. You are the only one who's going to keep your recording. I'm not going to put it out. I'm not going to put it on social media. It's totally up to you what you want to do with the recording. And nobody's ever done this before, so.

[Brady Bogan]

Technically, I own the song.

[C]

That's correct.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[C]

Not only that, you can say Gene Simmons produced it, all that stuff. Now, you can bring one friend or wife or girlfriend or farm animal, you know, whatever your preferences are, and you can video the event. It's. For me, it's giving back. Because when I was pushed into the deep end of the pool, I had no idea. We were there on the first day of recording, on the first record half a century ago, and we had no idea what was going on. What is this? What is that? No, just go into that room, be quiet, and we'll tell you when you can start playing guitar. It's very strange, really. And so we're going to change all that and slowly but surely take the fans through the process, and they will hear themselves on their own recording, which they can do with as they please.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, and what. So, like, do you guys. Are you doing Kiss songs or what's. What are you singing?

[C]

You will find out if you're one of the lucky that's going to be there.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow. All right. That's impressive. All right. So I go into the studio. I'm more fascinated by the idea. You said that when KISS got discovered, when you guys broke, essentially, and somebody said, come with us. You didn't know how to record or what it was about.

[C]

No idea.

[Brady Bogan]

How did you guys get found?

[C]

We were actually playing locally in New York, and within two or three of these local gigs where we play our own songs, and, of course, that full makeup and all that stuff, people saw us and started making bids because the rest of the bands were playing locally in New York, were doing cover songs, Stone songs and Otis Redding and all that stuff. So within, we got signed, we put together the band 1973 at 10 East 23rd Street. And within a year and a half of that, we were headlining Anaheim Stadium. Now, you have to understand, this is before cell phones, before mtv, before digital, even before voicemail. And somehow it just happened. It happened fast, to the point where 1978, 79, and 80. I'm sorry, 77. 78, 79. We were the Gallup Poll number one band on earth, above the Beatles, Zeppelin, and others, man. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And it. And you guys were just kids, and you had never recorded anything. You just all. You decided to throw the makeup on.

[C]

No, I.

[Brady Bogan]

And do everything without recording.

[C]

No idea. We just went in the studio, they twirled the knobs for us, and then they nodded their heads when we could start. We were rehearsed, of course, and never. Never been outside of New York, so the whole world was brand new. You go to South Carolina. How y'all doing? What are you doing over there? Wow. Because the only. The only time you heard those accents were on Bonanza on tv.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? That is amazing. I didn't know that was your origin story. I thought you guys were like. No.

[C]

For knuckleheads off the streets of New York who, strangely enough, decided to put on more makeup and higher heels than your mommy ever wore. You don't know one of those things? Oh, now, settle down. Don't get excited.

[Brady Bogan]

Then spine words.

[C]

By the way, your mom is fine. She's alive. Everything good?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, she's all good. Yeah. Still in the makeup. Still in the high heels.

[C]

What. What's her name?

[Brady Bogan]

Her name is Marcy.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I remember Marcy.

[Brady Bogan]

I knew that was coming, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And I could also listen to you do the Southern accent for about 12 hours if you wanted to keep that up.

[C]

What are you doing? And the strangest thing was, once you leave New York and you say, can I have a bagel or croissant? They have no idea. Well, back then in the 70s, early 70s, they had no idea what you're talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[C]

And they said, would you like some grits? And I had no idea what they were talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but there you were. How old were you when all this was going on? When it first kicked off, 56. Were you in your mid-50s? Wow. You looked great. You were 20 and 21. Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That is an insane story.

[C]

And the thing that changed overnight was you have to work hard when you saw a pretty girl to try to better down. And all this. What sign are you not on the first date. What you. What do you think of this all is talking. All this torture. Stick your tongue out in the ban and stuff and you'll wind up with somebody whose name you never bothered to learn overnight.

[Brady Bogan]

Damn it. You tell me this now? I'm in my early 50s. I could have used that information 30 years ago. Damn it.

[C]

No, no comment, young man.

[Brady Bogan]

So I. I would. So let's say I want to be one of your lucky winners and. And head on up to Vegas. Is there a chance we can become friends and go hit the casinos together? Is this just one stop shop and get out of Gene's face?

[C]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

No to all of that. Okay, sums it up. So if I wanted to be part of this, what do I do? I go to the website.

[C]

You go to Gene Simmons recording dot com. And it shows you everything you need to do.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[C]

And you don't have to take your pants off or, you know, none of that stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

All right?

[C]

Not this animals will be harmed.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but I still might do that.

[C]

If you take pictures. I would appreciate it.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, I'll do that. So if I do that, I do the whole thing. And. And is there a. Am I being chosen at the end? Is there a fee? What am I looking at?

[C]

Oh, there's a fee. Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Why is it you answer everything comically? There's a fee involved.

[C]

I am a joke.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. No, no, no. So the. So morning.

[C]

It's morning radio. Of course you got it right.

[Brady Bogan]

It's true. You're killing it. The. So there's a fee involved. Is it a. Is it a hefty fee? Should I ask what the fee is?

[C]

Yes. Yes, it is.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. And that's because you deserve it. This is a big opportunity.

[C]

Because of the cost. No, that's because of the cost of what we're doing, which is there's going to be food for, oh, I don't know, 100 people or so, catering throughout the day. There's Going to be champagne and booze and blah, blah, blah. And we've got to take over the whole studio. So we've got to have an entire staff doing that. And nothing's cheap, my friend.

[Brady Bogan]

No, not at all. All right. Beautiful. Well, that's a good thing. And the opportunity to be in a room with the professionals, musicians who've been at it for like you said. And it still doesn't resonate with me a half a century to be in a room with you. Singing away has got to be a once in a lifetime opportunity for a Kiss fan. Huge.

[C]

And also Hideout Studios, by the way, is legendary. It's in Las Vegas. Most people don't know about it, but everybody's recorded there. Stevie Wonder, Jeff Beck, everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. That's incredible.

[C]

It's really historical. And again, for me, growing up, I had no idea. How do those things get, you know, you just listen to the music and you're awed by it. But the process is what I want to show the fans how to do it. And maybe that kindles some kind of flame. Whereas the singing shows the Voice and American Idol. And by the way, I'm going to be one of the judges on American Idol in April. Just, you know, the qualification seems to be if you sing in the shower, you wind up on the show.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[C]

But let me tell you something, that's just not enough. Other than Cleric Clarkson.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[C]

Who's an, you know, who's an example of somebody who's really got the goods? The rest of the folks who won contests. Nothing really happens.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. There's like three or four total. And there's how many singing shows and everything? Carrie Underwood her.

[C]

He was. Yes. Hudson got to have the goods.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[C]

And what, what, what that is, Nobody knows you either. Just have it. When you step up on that stage voice, the stagecraft, the charisma. And they can't. You can't teach that.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, Gene, you're clearly describing me. Can I get a discount and be part of this?

[C]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. That's kind of what I expected. What. What gave you this side real quick? What gave you this idea to want to do this? I mean, what was the thing that said, you know, now that now that.

[C]

Kiss is stopped touring, there'll be other Kiss stuff is Kiss avatars. We have the Kiss World Museum at the Rio Hotel is off. All sorts of crazy stuff. There's a movie and a cartoon show and all that stuff. But I have more free time and I sort of. You get into yourself. And what did I always want to do? Well, When I was a kid, I never got a chance to learn what that is because they don't teach you that stuff. Yeah, there's no. There's no class that. Here's how the Beatles recorded their first record. You have no idea. And I wanted to do something, and I'm bullheaded. When I want to do something, no matter what the hurdles are, I make it happen.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's pretty impressive. Now, who would you, Gene, want to record with that you didn't ever have an opportunity to. Who would you like to be in a room with?

[C]

Jesus.

[Brady Bogan]

Jesus.

[C]

Well, he's. He's Israeli, too.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. You guys have. Does Jesus sound like you? If Jesus comes back, will he say, hello, I'm Jesus from the Bible?

[C]

I haven't heard his voice. I haven't heard his voice lately. But you never know.

[Brady Bogan]

You never know. It could be amazing. Gene, this is an incredible opportunity for people who love music, who absolutely love you, love Kiss and everything you guys have done, and give me the website one last time before we let you go.

[C]

Genesimmons recording.com.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, that's perfect. And this is a great thing, and thanks for taking time this morning and doing this. We'll definitely try to get people your way, and maybe the next great singer or musician or engineer comes out of this thing.

[C]

That's up to you. It's like anything in life, you know, life gives you the tools. All the knowledge of mankind is in your hand. It's called the cell phone. And then what you do, it is up to you.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go. Well, thank you so much for. For everything you've done and this interview and everything else. We appreciate it, man.

[C]

You're a powerful and attractive man. Thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you, Gene. All interviews must end with your powerful and attractive man, Gene Simmons, on there from Kiss. And again, he doesn't care if you like his music or not. Just keep it coming in. Keep it pain. Yeah. As long as you're letting him go, Gene's got the deal. Now. We didn't mention the cost of this. And if you go to the website, which, by the way, he was giving out the wrong website, but they've fixed that since it'll. It'll direct you to the right thing. It is six grand, kind of worth it when you think about being in that space for a full day to hang out with somebody like that. If you're a super fan of Kiss, and I think you get to do Kiss songs, so you get to go in there and basically he's going to Engineer and professionally karaoke some. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm curious to see if they. If they do that or they have.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, because the video I saw of it yesterday when I was looking, they're all. Everybody in the room is there at the same time. So if you're all in there, like 30 of you at a time and everybody goes up and sings a part of Love Gun or whatever they're doing and then. And then you knock that out and you get a copy of it or maybe you do your whole song on your own. It would be fun. And it's, you know, it's. You don't have to be a professional singer or be intimidated by it. Just go up there and have some fun goofing around. It's karaoke. Kiss with Kiss, which is pretty neat. I think it'd be cool to just talk to him. Just have him in a room. Just have him being, you know, Gene turned on in front of 30 people that he knows are fans of his. I mean, he's going to be fun. So for six friend Now, I also would like to offer the opportunity for those who don't want to spend $6,000. For $3,000. I'll put the wig and the makeup on and we'll go to Larry Elias Mind's Eye and you can record any song you'd like for $3,000. It's gonna cost a lot. I need 80 people at 3,000 Brady. That should.

[John Holmberg]

Good number.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a very good number. And we'll take care of you. And a semi professional singer and a professional engineer will put your song together for half price. And it'll almost feel exactly the same.

[John Holmberg]

There'll be booze and food.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. We'll have booze. We'll have food. That's going to cost. That comes from your 3,000. No reason for flight or accommodation. You should live here. There's a reason. It's cheaper. And I'll put the makeup on and the shoes, walk around with the bass guitar and we'll play Pretend. For three grand you could have the Kiss experience. And if you'd like, I'll even stick my tongue out. Perform fellatio of some sorts on a few of you. I don't know. But three grand to be like Kiss Light. Yeah. Get the helmet hair, though. That's the problem. That's what you're missing. I've got people for that. Put on a wig just like Gene Simmons does and pretend that it's my hair. He's pretty great. That's. He's Fun. And when he took a shot at my mom, that was even better. And then he had to ask if she was still alive. Even better. Those are those moments when I. Like when somebody makes a joke and then realizes that guy's. My mom might be dead. And then she's still with us. Yeah. Okay, good. That guilt will hit you. Yeah, that's the thing. If you want to get in on it, though, I would love to hear from you afterward. If you're a big Kiss fan or you're just a big music fan, this is kind of a cool opportunity. I do this for quite a few bands. Who would you want to do this with? You've been in pro recording rooms and stuff, but who would you like to sit and go, man, and you don't get to bend their ear all day. But Sinatra. Well, he's dead. Well, I mean, if we're good, if.

[John Holmberg]

We'Re shooting, let's go with living. Living.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I mean, Gene did say Jesus, so. Yeah, I mean, Sinatra. All right, he picked Jesus because he was Israeli, but Sinatra, Come on. All right, what am I gonna do? ABBA now or Ace of Bass? Who about you, Brady?

[John Holmberg]

Well, for going. You know, anyone. I think it'd be fun to spend the day with the King.

[Brady Bogan]

Elvis Presley. That's a solid one. What would you pay for that? 6 grand for kiss is the going rate. That's gonna be a hefty fee for the Elvis. Well, just think what you're paying for Yee this weekend. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Let's say 225.

[Brady Bogan]

Kirby wants to spend a day in the studio with Yay. Because she's a big Kanye. Hey, whatever. Yay. Yay. Yay, Kobe. I hate the juice, too. Kanye. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you would spend, like. If it was, like, $10,000 for Kirby to spend the day with Kanye, would you do it?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

If she wanted to, you know. Yep. For Christmas.

[John Holmberg]

She can use her money to do that.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but my money and your money are the same. You do it. Does daddy get to go hang out with?

[John Holmberg]

Because with. That's the other thing. That 6k with Gene Simmons, you get to bring a friend.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You can pal around with somebody. They don't get to do anything. Corey brings up a good point. Says, doesn't it defeat the purpose of giving back to the fans? Which is what he's saying he wants to do to get the fee. It's Gene. How did I start the interview? You're the greatest musical businessman on the planet.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

He knows it's giving back. It's an opportunity for the fans to be part of his world. And it is giving back. Because it's limited. If it was for all the fans, taking the money's bad. But this is a very limited opportunity.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully we know someone that went, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And hear the feedback. Like, it. This was a fyre festival.

[Brady Bogan]

Or I would love to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Or, man, that was an amazing day. Everything he said they delivered on.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe for the night of the Singing Dead, we'll all dress as Kiss. And then if one of them goes and then we'll have. Maybe we could just do Kiss for my birthday. Not any of the songs. We'll just dress as Kiss. And then you guys can spend $3,000 to see what it would be like if they sang better songs. Anyway, Gene Simmons is awesome. There you go. Take advantage of it. It might be kind of great. It's out of control now. Can you cease and desist at once? The rest of home birds. Morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. I gotta say, though, you know, all the complaining that we do about it's my generation's fault. I don't know, when naming your kids something that used to be specifically just for black people to name their kids something spectacular and weird. Whitey, you've taken over with the dumbest names of all time. Didn't we used to laugh at that? Didn't even black people used to laugh at that when they're Shaquanda and Robitussin and all the kids that were running around and your L'Mangelo. And there was a list every year of silly names in. In sports that were going from high school to college. And they were hilarious. L'Angelo and his brother Orangelo, which was his parents named them lemon jello and orange jello and just said arangelo. Hello. Hilarious. Now it's whities, like affluent ones, naming their kids ridiculously dumb names. I was tapioca, but my dad ate that, so we only had lemon and orange in the cupboard. This is my brother Arangelo, and they Were like twins I think too. And the one came out like what he is La what? What? There's another one. Then he had to go through the cabinet. We got some orange Jello. That's his name. Orangeo. Oh man. White people have a feeling with it. And then the one guy that was named, his dad was in the military so they named him Sergeant or whatever. What was his name? He got Lieutenant or whatever is his first name because his dad wanted to name him after him. So he named him after his rank. Hilarious. But now you know you've done something and black people are laughing at this. You've done something. When the black community's going, man, white people naming their kids daddies dumb. Like if black people are laughing at the names of your kids, you have, you have gone crazy. Lacutia. Lacutia. They arrested like six white kids named Talon yesterday. Talon? What kind of name of Talon? Lacusha. And I laugh a half hour. It's hilarious. But Talon, that's not a name. I named him after Talon, his brother Fang and his other brother Tusk. You're idiots. Name your kids. Normal stuff. My generation, we named them all. And all These kids are 17, 18, 19 years old. Which means they would have been right in the generation of my, you know, naming like Bretton Brett. And I would have 19, 20 year old kids right now. Mine would not be named Talon or no. Or you know, Penny Nail or Foot Hammer or something stupid. I don't know. They're dumb names. Skinny, Pedal Foot Hammer, Muffler.

[John Holmberg]

I remember the guy out of Ohio, I think, playing at Michigan. Mr. Simpson.

[Brady Bogan]

Mr. Simpson. Yeah, Mr. Simpson. He came out the same year as that lieutenant guy or sergeant, I can't remember. But his dad named him that, which is hilarious. Mr. Simpson was Mr. Oh, there's some good ones this year. And it's a hodgepodge of white kids.

[John Holmberg]

And there's at least embraced it because that's I want, this is my name. Kool Aid.

[Brady Bogan]

Kool Aid is the best.

[John Holmberg]

And he'll go in the first round.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if that's his nickname or not. No one says, I know he's got a first name.

[John Holmberg]

I think it is a nickname. But he's like, this is what I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

Going, that's not on like haha. Clinton Dix. That's his name.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know, it's a crazy talent. Said, you want to hear something stupid, John? My sister in law named her two youngest Jay Lees and the boy Jehoiasa. Jehosh Ya. J H O S Y A. That's both creative and ghetto. Are they white? That's just a misspelled word. That second one. J H O S Y A Campy. Joyce. Yeah. Jehosh. Yeah. And Jay leaves. Sounds like something I take when my throat hurts. I need some. Jay Lee's got a sore throat. Talon. This guy says the parents were probably fans of the Mitsubishi Eclipse. Look alike. The Eagle Talon. Back in the 90s, I had a. The girl that wrote me the. The Bryan Adams plagiarized letter crashed her car and bought an Eagle Talon. And it was hilariously bad car. And amc. AMC was Eagle. Right? AMC Eagle. And they made the Talon. That Talon was brutal. And now there's people name. That's naming cars. That's like having a kid named desoto or, you know, AMG Packard. The cruddy cars. He named your kid Eagle Talent. But go to any strip club and there's a Mercedes and a Porsche on stage. That's true. Now they're just bad, you know. Hey, Cars, this is my son, Riviera. Oh, he's a sedan. That's my son, Coop. De Ville.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the modernized.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't. You can't use the affect anymore, Brett. It's white people doing it.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to stage Rivian. Yeah, Rivian.

[Brady Bogan]

The Cilantro. It didn't last long. Thought it would be cooler than it is. Yeah, but naming your kids Talent, I'm glad they're arrested. I think all people. I think all kids named Talon should go to jail for a little while. Especially if it's spelled cute. I think that's worse. I think when you name your kid something normal and spell it dumb, it's even worse. Like, would you have to be. Your kid has to be special unit. Your kid's not unique. None of us are that unique. We're almost all the same. We're just a bunch of ants.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I've seen Terence spell RR Y.

[Brady Bogan]

A N. It's like, stop it. Stop putting Y's and X's and stuff. There was a girl in high school that was named Susie, and when Susie and the Banshees came out, she changed it to S O U I X or whatever it is.

[John Holmberg]

We had a S O, O Z.

[Brady Bogan]

I C. And that to me is more creative than the one who spelled it exactly the same as Susie and the Banshees. Yeah, because you're less creative that you said, hey, I could spell my name like that. Creative person. And you just copied it. I used to ride around that Eagle Talon all the Time. Just tell her you got to get a different car. This thing brutal. And I'm a Jeep guy. The same people were making my car. Well, actually, that was back. That was after Chrysler picked up Jeep. But the AMCs were talent. There's Kool Aid, McKinstry. Kool Aid. That's fantastic. That's like a white kid being named Mayonnaise McKinster. Koolaid McKinsey. I wanted. I. Look, Kool Aid's coming out in the draft. He played at Alabama. That guy's gonna be good.

[John Holmberg]

Ranch Johnson.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, Ranch, Thousand Island, Kool Aid. And I gotta guess which one's black. You. And the other two are definitely white. So long. The game's getting easier, but way to go, Gilbert. Moms with your creative. My child's name is Talon, too. And you know, it would just harm them deeply if the Talon mom that they were talking to spelled theirs T, A, L, Y, N, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you spelled it the same.

[Brady Bogan]

That means my angel's not special. Well, the two talents going to jail are special. And trust me, they're gonna get treated real special in the can and in jail. This is my son. Credit is my daughter, Carlotta Sales. Is it easy? Credit the donkey. They name it up. We don't name it after the lone arranger. Just stop it. Just name your kids normal stuff. That's. I said John when I lived in Utah. It was all over the place. Those Mormon people love normal names spelled weird. That is so true. It's a white thing to take a normal name and add a letter number, an X or a Y. They can't get enough of it, and they think they're being creative or unique, and it just makes your kid a douchebag. Does Kirby go to schooled a bunch of those?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, There's a few. Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, she's got Braden, Hayden, Cadence, and Talons in there. I mean, just stop. Just. There's certain ways to do things. Certain ways not to. You being a douchebag with the spelling of a normal name is not adding creativity to your son. It makes him unique. Well, there's four of them in there. How unique is it when four people have the same stupid name spelled with x's and schwas? I want my son to have an umlaut. No one has an umlaut. Great. Just make it harder to write. Here's my son, Purple Drank. My God. In my day, that kid was definitely going to be black. But look at him. He's white as can be. Hello, Purple drank. Call me P.D. i will not. Here's my son. Colt 45. Right again. This is a Gilbert kid named Colt 45. What's this world coming to? Oh, that's a guy.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen 720johnson run credit score?

[Brady Bogan]

It says that it cleared up the email that Edgar sent earlier of jz and the boy is J. Josiah. That's just annoying. Just people I don't want to know. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I remember in high school was the coolest name ever. We. He's a running back out of a Cincinnati Moeller, which was a pretty good high school. We played him in the state finals. Hiawatha Francisco.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. That's pretty sick.

[John Holmberg]

It was done. The Guy's gonna have 300 yards.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you're gonna win a lot of games with Hiawatha Francis and then his brother Dwan.

[John Holmberg]

I remember Notre Dame.

[Brady Bogan]

The dopiest name in my high school. And you might have known him. Ah, maybe not. Was a kid named Amwa. And when I kept telling my dad, like, my friend Amoa's coming over, and he goes, armoire. I'm like, no, Amwa. I'm wa. Like, he refused to say anything. But the chest of drawers.

[John Holmberg]

The black dude?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And then when my dad saw him, I remember him going, oh, okay. He's named after a chest of drawers. I'm like, it's not even spelled the same. I know. It's Armoire. I'm like, no, it's Amwa. We call him Ami. Armoire. No, dad, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

Then you have the two dumb whities like you and I that the guy's name is very simple. But we're calling him Cha the whole time.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but that's not fair because that was his accent. Brady and I met a Chinese national and golfed with him once. And when he introduced himself, I said, how you doing? My name's John. I'm Brady. And he goes, chul. We're like, all right, Cha. No. Cause we just assumed that was a Chinese name. So for 17 holes, we're like, great shot, Cha. This guy smoked Marlboros like a. Like a forest fire.

[John Holmberg]

American cigarette.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's tied. Blue jean. American cigarette. Gore. And then he hit a ball and he. Pretty good. Good shot. Shot. Nice putt shot. In the middle of 17th hole, he just rolls over to us, goes, the name is a Joe.

[John Holmberg]

On his bag.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

[John Holmberg]

We had six or seven songs that.

[Brady Bogan]

We'Re singing during the round and on. In honor of Gene Simmons being with us yesterday, we. For about a half a round, we're like, ch, I hear you calling. Can you come home right now? We were singing all sorts of songs for him, thinking what a silly name Ch Is. But it turned out his name was Joe. That was his fault for not being. You know, diction's important when you've got an accent. And when people start to saying, hey, Cha. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's a J. I know. That's what I've been saying the whole time. Okay, I'm hearing what you're saying here. You're laying it down, and I'm spitting it out. Oh, no, no, no. Like a cowboy mur. Keep saying it.

[John Holmberg]

And you go through it a little bit every now and then. There's people you don't correct, or they say my name. Roddy or Brody.

[Brady Bogan]

Grady.

[John Holmberg]

Grady.

[Brady Bogan]

You get Grady.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Homegren. And most of the time, I'm. You never correct.

[Brady Bogan]

I always say close enough. Yeah. And nobody really knows. I. I don't care because my. If you can't.

[John Holmberg]

Brett Brent.

[Brady Bogan]

I get not getting my last name right. It's got consonants all over. John. You can't screw that one. I could if you said Don. I'm like, no, John or Sean. A lot of times people think I say my name's Sean. It's John. So we had a girl in high school named Talon. Also, she was a ho. We would say she was a Talon. Ted Hoe. Because she spelled her name with two L's. Talented. I'm gonna name my kid after a Subaru Baja. Yeah, well, if Eagle Talons get in play, says from a black listener. You're not lying about black. Black names. Yeah, well, we took it from you. We. Cultural appropriation. We've started to name our kids dumb stuff, too, like Armoire, but my dad refused to say that was anything but Armoire. Armoire. Like, no. What's his brother's name? Foyer. Stop it. His cousin, Coffee Table. He had a kid named Footstool running around that house. I'm sure he's not the only one in the house. Oh, no. This one says my bought. My daughter was born in 2011. We named her Reagan. R, A, E, G, A, N. With that spelling to make her a little unique. We have met about a dozen Reagan since she was born. And they were also spelled that way. Also, we thought her name was a little different, but it was actually the 12th most common name for girls that year. Yeah, you get the idea from somewhere. And then sometimes it's wildfire, and sometimes it's stupid. Well, actually, all times stupid. This comes from a Guy named John. Come up with a regular name for your kid. Mexicans have stuck to their guns. You gotta hand it to them. It's all Jesus, Jose. They don't. Luis. They don't deviate too much. You don't mean to. Hold on. Mexican kids name whatever Mexican word is for talent. You just don't. No, we're not. It's Luis. It's Luis. It's. Sometimes they go off the rails a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Amy.

[Brady Bogan]

You think Amy is a good Mexican? No.

[John Holmberg]

Jamie.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Jaime. Yeah. For the most part, you'll get a Guillermo now and again, but for the most part. Jose. Jesus. And then Chris will pop up. Chris Estoban. They're not throwing out, you know, hubcap or, you know, tire iron, things they're familiar with.

[John Holmberg]

Got Lucio.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I mean, I'm surprised, to be honest, that if the. If this whole naming your kid something unique hasn't snuck into the Mexican culture that soon I'll meet a raven crest because, you know, name it after stuff they love. Talon kid's named after all. Bird foot. He's out of control now. 98 to you. PD Trip Re commands you to listen to the top morning show in town. I see your talents have gone beyond the mere physical level. Holmberg's morning sickness. Even if they are on vacation. 98. KUPD. Somebody said. Just a quick critique of Brady's woe. It sounds a little bit like you're pooping. I think that's okay. I picture that's trained, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Relax.

[Brady Bogan]

Perfect. Still working. Phones are still lit up with woers. I just hope the one person that gets on there doesn't blow it. I know. If you're calling 260-9800 right now. Only for woes. Hotline is ringing. Joey Lawrence interview is about to begin. Oh, how long will it go? Scott Wright said he thinks It'll last until 10am Hope he's wrong. But if it does, it'd be an interesting show. Strangest show you've ever heard in your life, ever.

[John Holmberg]

It could be behind.

[Brady Bogan]

No doubt about it.

[John Holmberg]

Behind on the junket.

[Brady Bogan]

Here we go. Nothing but woes. Eric's already nervous. Eric, if you take those headphones off and disengage from the interview, you are steak dinners. Brady, if you say anything but.

[John Holmberg]

One minute.

[Brady Bogan]

One minute away, folks. We're one minute.

[John Holmberg]

Let me practice from the worst practice.

[Brady Bogan]

Whoa. Whoa. Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Brady pointed at me.

[Brady Bogan]

Does he matter? John's the pointer. Whoa. And it is. It is our pleasure here now to have the next guest on the show. We have known him forever. For years and years and years from what? Blossom and Give me a Break and all those other things. Joey Lawrence is on the phone. Good morning.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Brady Bogan]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Very nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Beautiful, beautiful. Excellent form there. Lovely. You guys sound like wounded pigeons. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Brady Bogan]

He sat and listened to those the entire time. We're about a minute and ten seconds by guessing we didn't have a counter. Oh, we gotta pull the tape and get the official time dry. Did not care. Did not care. This is the stupidest thing of all time. You ghouls nailed it. There were four ghouls in on the woes. There was a little delay when they had to go though. Yeah, but it was all right. Perfect.

[John Holmberg]

We are assholes.

[Brady Bogan]

Who cares? He's Joey. Whoa, he's calling back. You're the producer of this show. You get on that phone. Just take it. No way. They're gonna start cursing Toledo. This is your job. You take care of that.

[John Holmberg]

It's the wrong number.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's listen to what Toledo has to deal with from his side, shall we?

[John Holmberg]

Hi, Daisy.

[Brady Bogan]

He hung up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

I was. I was out of the room.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know what happened? Oh, there. Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll make him find out what's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Does he want to come back on with us? Oh, okay. Okay. Well, let's wrap it then.

[Brady Bogan]

He's running around the room. Okay, thanks. Put him back on. Put back on with you? What are you doing to come back?

[John Holmberg]

He would come back on if the toast weren't jerks.

[Brady Bogan]

You lose Joey Lawrence. We are jerks and you're Joey Lawrence and we don't care. Kissing celebrities asses. You're on the ABC Family Network. What am I, five? He's talking to John Jay and her truck. Exactly. Why did you shave off your glorious locks? Get your phone number, Joey. Afterwards. Whoa, that was fun.

[John Holmberg]

One day, just rolling, you know. You're in LA or something. Run into, hey, Joey, thanks for the interview.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Last year. It was great. Like, you see the Miz out at the shop?

[Brady Bogan]

He saw me. That was weirder. Aaron Gibson has already texted in. Best interview ever. I agree. Because what more were we going to get out of Joey Lawrence? Honestly, were we ever going to walk away going, man, that Joey Lawrence interview was the best we've ever done now.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't recall any text or email saying, yeah, I want to know when the last time he crapped his pants.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't care. Nobody really cared about Joey Lawrence. That felt good. Taking C list celebrities and making Them feel like C list celebrities on our show because we're lower and less than them. It's just basically a pissing contest that we know we lose generally. It's world famous. Was it better than the shortest interview ever? That was with the fat guy from Borat. Yeah. Ken Daven Kim, Kardashian.

[John Holmberg]

That one was probably more satisfying.

[Brady Bogan]

The big. The fat guy. Yeah. Yeah. Because he was so late, right? Yeah. That was fun. I don't know. That was up there. I just hope Pacino has an interview someday so we can all go. Not to Pacino. He's accomplished too much. But it was still. But I want catchphrase people. Our new catchphrase interviewers. Anybody with a catchphrase that calls, we're doing it. If Hogan calls back again, we do. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. That was awesome. Joey had no idea what just punched him in the nose. What makes us jerks, though, really. Seriously, it was fun. It's a little jerk. Oh, it's completely jerky. But I mean, well, if you think about it really deep down, why does it ruin his day? Yeah, you're the woe guy. I really enjoyed that, he told his handler.

[John Holmberg]

Highlight that station. I gotta remember that.

[Brady Bogan]

I really did. It's out of control now. Chew and poop, that's all they do. That's all they're good for. Chewing and pooping. The rest of homework's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. It's time now for the Brady Report. All the news that only Brady knows. And it's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio shades. We're in Arizona and you got to have shade if you have an outdoor space. That's the new thing about real estate, by the way, as your indoor outdoor living, your outdoor stuff should be livable space now. So if you got shade out there, it's awesome. All Pro Shade concepts. 20 years in the Valley, they got Brady's house all hooked up with awnings and roll down patio shades and things like that. They can do that for you as well. It creates 20 plus feet of shade and they block out all that stuff. You can have a TV on your back patio without worrying about the glare. All Pro Shade Concepts, thank you for sponsoring the Brady Report.

[John Holmberg]

Brady reported the Irish Naval service only has one active ship called the George Bernard Shaw. Probably named after the playwright.

[Brady Bogan]

Probably.

[John Holmberg]

My guess. That's my guess. Just a coinky dink.

[Brady Bogan]

Does it say on the paper probably named after the. No one thought to ask them about Their one ship that's still in the. In the port. Does it say the word probably?

[John Holmberg]

No. It says which.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Which might be named after Irish. They don't know for sure. Nobody. We took the time to tell the story of the Irish naval service's one boat. But we didn't ask them. Is that the playwright? Is that. No. It's one of our most amazing heroes of war. And we didn't know. We don't care. Of course it's named after them.

[John Holmberg]

He built a bridge.

[Brady Bogan]

He's a brilliant man. Guys. Not. Not to be confused with the playwright of the exact same name, George Bernard Shaw. It's the other one. And soon we'll have a boat named the Amanda N. Lost at sea.

[John Holmberg]

Louisiana's capital Baton Rouge means Red Stick. It references the actual stick that once marked the boundary between two Native American tribes in the region. It was reportedly a 30 foot high painted pole adorned with fish bones.

[Brady Bogan]

Red Stick was also the name of an Indian who didn't care if you were on your period or not. Thank you very much. Don't you. That was a good one. Brett. You just didn't think of it. Don't you? That hang out Brady. Oh, that was a good Brady. Brady didn't come up with it. Absolutely. That was a solid one. Too dirty. It's not happening. Brady isn't going with Red Stick. He's not. Red Wings and Red Stick. Not happening. No. None of that.

[John Holmberg]

In the 80s, Russia gave Pepsi submarines and other naval ships to cover the cost of stocking the country with their soda. They gave Pepsi such a big fleet that briefly Pepsi controlled the sixth most powerful military in the world.

[Brady Bogan]

They gave them armed submarines.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

But Pepsi had to get the weapons. But it was capable of firing weapons.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

So Pepsi got the Red October and. All right. I know you didn't follow up. Where are these submarines today? I have one in the ocean. Nailed it. You are firmly apart. Does Pepsi still own them or did they sell them to crack Kraken?

[John Holmberg]

Don't know. Bro.

[Brady Bogan]

All right. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

And I was wondering if that was one of the jets they were trying to give away back in that promotion. You were wondering that if that was a Russian jet.

[Brady Bogan]

You did nothing to find out about it. You're just wondering.

[John Holmberg]

It just didn't care.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Evidently you did a lot. Wonder. And then so does all of us that listen to the Brady. Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Not the happy wanderer. He's a happy wonder.

[Brady Bogan]

Wonder. Yeah. Wonder if that ever. Anyway. I'm over that questioning period.

[John Holmberg]

I Figured it out, you red stick. God damn it, John. I'm showing up to my tomorrow and you're gonna pay for my breakfast this morning. Baton Rouge.

[Brady Bogan]

That stick made you laugh. It's my son. Baton Rouge. Why do they call him that? Well, let me tell you. Hahaha. What they do. Hahaha.

[John Holmberg]

Balls out for bowling is back. The Pittsburgh Area Naturalists are hosting another balls out for bowling event where you can bowl in the nude roast naked.

[Brady Bogan]

Bowlers, Pittsburghers and Pittsburgh.

[John Holmberg]

It's Sunday, April 28th. If you want to head to Pittsburgh for that.

[Brady Bogan]

I do kind of want to see it, but not for any other reason than this. It's a car crash.

[John Holmberg]

Anyone over the age of 18.

[Brady Bogan]

Greasy permante brother sandwiches, letting the ball slide right out of your hands.

[John Holmberg]

You don't need to be a citizen bowler.

[Brady Bogan]

And then that weird follow through through at the end of a bowling move where your b holes like breathing on the guys behind you. Yeah. All the hair. The Pittsburgh hair got french fries stuffed and her Manny brothers is good. But it no.

[John Holmberg]

Someone pulled 35,000Americans and asked him, do you think you're cool?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Turns out most of us do think we're pretty cool. 53% said they're cool. 29% said not a chance.

[Brady Bogan]

They're right.

[John Holmberg]

17 aren't sure if they're cool or not.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you think you're cool? Brady, if someone said do you think you're cool? And answer honestly, what would you say?

[John Holmberg]

Not really.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't think you're cool?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't think like people think you're cool?

[John Holmberg]

Was 20 year old you too much?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Super cool.

[Brady Bogan]

Was there a point in your life you're like, that's cool, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Popped collar.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't think of a single no. I've never really said that my life. And you're thinking cool like Fonzie? Yeah, like just.

[John Holmberg]

That's how I take it when they say do you think you're cool?

[Brady Bogan]

Right, like you're smoking? No, like just cool. Like that guy's cool. I like him. Like that guy's cool. I'm the opposite.

[John Holmberg]

Three quarters of Americans under 30 think they're cool. Two thirds of the people age 30 to to 45 and 43% between 45 and 65. Even 28% of seniors would still describe themselves as cool.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't understand Generation Z or whatever they call them. Either you're suicidal or you're the most confident group.

[C]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

Pick one. They're all overly confident and depressed at the same time. I don't understand them. They want everything.

[John Holmberg]

Either a goon or they're a mess.

[Brady Bogan]

Right, but. Or both. Like, if you interviewed the whole generation, like, you guys think you're cool. Hell yeah. Do you have mental health issues? Hell yeah. It's like, do you have everything? Are you the dumbest?

[John Holmberg]

Embrace it, bro.

[Brady Bogan]

Right, Everything is. Yes. Are you cool? Oh, right, we're the coolest. Are you handsome? So handsome. Great looking. Are you depressed? Yeah. You feel like you fit in? No. But you think you're cool, good looking and awesome, but also massive amounts of depression and suicide. It doesn't add up.

[John Holmberg]

You're far less likely to think you're cool if you live in the Midwest. 44% of Midwesterners think they're cool.

[Brady Bogan]

They're wrong. You're too close to Kentucky, Indiana and Ohio to be cool.

[John Holmberg]

In Indian River County, Florida, they had a rookie sheriff on his first day on the job. They had to let him go. He asked a female high school student for a couple of nude pictures numerous times.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you know, he's a position of.

[John Holmberg]

Power now in the high school.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta give him a second day. At least he could give him a chance to apologize. Oh, that's frowned upon. I was just. I. I think I got drunk with power with my new badge and it won't happen again.

[John Holmberg]

One day, Kai.

[Brady Bogan]

I like that. Let's see, a picture of this high school girl. Maybe was on to something. Was she 17?

[John Holmberg]

Don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

How old is he?

[John Holmberg]

It didn't say his age either.

[Brady Bogan]

Doesn't matter because it's.

[John Holmberg]

He's a sheriff.

[Brady Bogan]

I know he's older. Come on, come on. Walking around flexing sheriff muscles for a day. You didn't even give him a day to get past like the loopholes of being powerful.

[John Holmberg]

I guess they're gonna have to go over that in the training again.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you voted for him. But again, men in position of power struggle, sometimes it's like, let's send me a couple of nudes. I'm sheriff around here, God damn it. I do what I want. Then he has to realize, oh, geez, I've overstepped my one day.

[John Holmberg]

And in Port Moody, British Columbia, that.

[Brady Bogan]

Is exactly what that one day Jay guy did at our work. He walked up while he's being introduced to his new co workers and told the lady she had a great set of canes first day here. Whoa, hey. He wasn't wrong. He was not wrong.

[John Holmberg]

He was right.

[Brady Bogan]

He was 100 right. We were all thinking, nope, they were always good and she's walking around like you have a beautiful set of breasts. And he just walked over to his cubicle and then had to clean it out. And he hadn't even put anything down yet. The greatest memos in the history Monday J of the no longer with it of 840 North Central Avenue. We are so excited to have this man coming to work for us. He brings a wealth of experience and knowledge and it's going to start tomorrow. And the next day, another memo. This guy's not going to be working here anymore. And Colin framed him and put him on his wall. And the boss came by and asked him to put.

[John Holmberg]

If you would have seen the glorious letter when he first started.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it was a page all the way from Alaska. His accolades and everything he accomplished. And it was just this, man, we've got the. The greatest dude in the world working in the building. Then a one sentence, one day. The date was on both of them. One day later, this particular gentleman won't be working here anymore. He was even one day J. I.

[John Holmberg]

Can'T remember if they. I don't even think they said we. We wish him luck.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope, it just said he. This. I don't remember his name. Jay so and so is no longer employed with Blah blah blah radio. And he was gone. And Colin framed him and put him up because the dates were like August 7th, August 8th. It was hilarious.

[John Holmberg]

This teacher in Taylor, Michigan, Dominique Brown, got fired from her school and she says Taylor Prep fired her because she is a rap artist. Her rap name is dripping honey. Look, I don't know why they fired me for this, but one parent caught the video.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Find the song. Well, she says there are some cuss words in it, but she was also awarded teacher of the month the month before they fired her.

[Brady Bogan]

Wonder how she won that.

[John Holmberg]

It's called Dripping 101. I got it. But it's.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't have the video, but I got the song filthy. I don't know. All right, let's see.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

Motown baby going crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Like the 80s.

[Brady Bogan]

Motown baby going crazy. Teacher who. Who had N word. Maybe she's just looking for Amanda. Well, here's. Here's a couple of the names of her songs here. Oh, no, man. You're allowed to have the third one now, right? Third one down is N word. No. Plus she's still dripping on the other one. Oh, yeah, she was dripping honey, in track one and by four, still dripping. She's got a discharge issue.

[John Holmberg]

So it's like the never ending story. It's always Dripping.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, that's not good. Followed by no cheat code and never, not never, never can't stop. The drip is track 12. And it's just that's how well she dresses. John, I know what dripping is. I'm hip.

[John Holmberg]

Did you really?

[Brady Bogan]

He dropped the drip, man, don't ask me on this stuff. Look at him. He's dripping right now.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, if you bought a crossbow.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm going to listen to this later. Me too. No, Edward, no. No, Edward, no. Take my jeep down to 4p. Windows. All the way down. Blast that thing.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, here's some woke news.

[Brady Bogan]

Kind of pushed us. Woke news. This. A new segment.

[John Holmberg]

Keeps coming up. I think I like turn into that. We were trying to figure out a song.

[Brady Bogan]

Wake me up before you go. Go.

[John Holmberg]

Gen Z has come up with a new term for oversleeping. Or you just don't want to get out of bed. Almost like hitting the snooze.

[Brady Bogan]

Laziness.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, laziness.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a good term.

[John Holmberg]

Right now they're using an old Scottish term to describe it. Herkle derkel. You stay in bed longer. I was late to work because I herkled durkled for a solid 20 minutes today. And they love it.

[Brady Bogan]

Who loves it?

[John Holmberg]

Gen Z. If they come into work. They come into work and they say they herkle durkled, you'll know what they're saying.

[Brady Bogan]

You're fired. You're late for work. I don't care that you herkle durkled or have a cute word for why you're not here.

[John Holmberg]

Because we know Brady. I'm gonna put a fanduel on this.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the next month, he's gonna use.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, he'll hurkle derkle. Here's the thing. If Brady comes in late one day. Sorry about that. Herkle dirkle. I'm like, well, goodbye, you're fired. For herkle durkling and thinking that it's okay and funny. Everybody's allowed to oversleep now and again, but if you just show show up meander in ago, you're a little hurkle derkle. Like, no, you're a dickhead who isn't responsible enough to have a job. Herkle circle. I overslept. We have a word for it. And then the next thing you say is, I'm so sorry. I'll stay later or I'll make this up. I told you that the girl that Megan's kind of working with told the bosses, I don't do well in the morning. I can't start before 10 and then got like a doctor's note that said she's got some aversion to mornings and everybody's like okay, it all starts at 8 and ends at 5. But she shows up at 10 because I do not function well in the morning and I have a medical. Who's the doctor that said, yeah, she's no good for from 8 to 10. Nobody's good from 8 to 10. Doctor got a handy from. That's what I'm thinking.

[John Holmberg]

HD syndrome.

[Brady Bogan]

What's that?

[John Holmberg]

Herkle Durkle.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I hate you so much.

[John Holmberg]

Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

You nailed it. It was. Wasn't even. It wasn't even four minutes and you already used it. You couldn't. Six more to go.

[John Holmberg]

It's got to start after the story's done.

[Brady Bogan]

Your end was finished.

[John Holmberg]

You're talking about. Are you talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

It starts the second he says fanduel. Saying he uses this in a sentence is immediately when it starts. You couldn't wait to say Herkle Durkel.

[John Holmberg]

We're still talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

You're still talking about. I talked about the dumb who has a medical aversion to 8am This 71.

[John Holmberg]

Year old dude in Utah named Michael Roberts was arrested recently because he shot at six teenagers who ding dong ditched his home. They were doing it multiple times. We used to do.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. We didn't shoot at people. No, we do not. We always worried about that though. My dad would always say you're going to get shot messing around doing that.

[John Holmberg]

No one was hit but there were two significant dents past your side rear door of the car. Michael told the police they've been ringing his doorbell for several weeks. He admitted to firing a paintball like gun. He claimed it. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Which is.

[John Holmberg]

They haven't determined whether it's an airsoft gun or what type it is.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a 9 millimeter handgun that's very similar to a paintball gun.

[John Holmberg]

He's facing six counts of aggravated assault.

[Brady Bogan]

The ring the ring doorbell thing has really ruined that. Oh yeah. We used to have a game and when I lived in San Diego, my friend Tony was so fast. He was a. He was like Janny. He's a black kid but he was like the fastest kid in the world. I mean a fat kid named Sean Orr. And me and Sean and Tony would doorbell ditch the same house. But our rule was how close you could hide to the door and not get caught.

[John Holmberg]

Man.

[Brady Bogan]

It was pretty good horrifying because you would like ring the doorbell and then jump two feet away. I didn't know where this is going. Do it at night all the time. Tony never lost, right? But we would hide untoldy jokes.

[John Holmberg]

Then you have to run sometimes.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopefully he wasn't laughing. But this fat lady would come out of her house, this kid named Travis's mom, and she was a big, hillbilly fat lady. They'd moved here from Arkansas or something, San Diego. And scream out, I know where you are. Sometimes she'd be past you. Like, she'd walk past you on the porch. I know. I see you. You'd be like. Cause you're in the bush right next to the door. She never looked right next to the door. And it's like, well, the best place to hide is right next to the door. She's not looking right there. I get you boys. I know who you are. And we were so stupid. Tony.

[John Holmberg]

John.

[Brady Bogan]

John. I know who's doing this. And we'd be like, she has no idea.

[John Holmberg]

Gutter again.

[Brady Bogan]

She would flat out say who we were. Visited Tony's house. You're certainly. Of course she picked him first. Your son's making a mockery of my Friday and Saturday stories. I don't believe my son's doing that. I know he is. She knew the whole time. Excuse me while I whip this out. Tony's like, I've never seen this fat lady in my life.

[John Holmberg]

Big food news. Chip Ahoy is totally changing its cookie recipe.

[Brady Bogan]

It is not Chips Ahoy.

[John Holmberg]

Chips Ahoy.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Been 60 years. They're changing it up, and according to food and Wine, it's even better now.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. Chips Ahoy are getting better. They've dropped the chips. It's just one big Chip Ahoy.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bigger cookie.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

There's one chip in it.

[Brady Bogan]

Big chocolate chip.

[John Holmberg]

Ah. This kid in Livonia, Michigan.

[Brady Bogan]

That's it. Yeah. Chips Ahoy are gonna get better. That was a news story, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

That was a food news for those.

[Brady Bogan]

Of you scoring at home. Brady just wished Chips Ahoy better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's no facts yet.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought I was missing something.

[John Holmberg]

60 years, the same recipe, Change it.

[Brady Bogan]

Up, mixing it up. People need to know. Chips Ahoy finally gonna get a little bit better.

[John Holmberg]

There's a new trend for an online registry for people's divorce.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Guess the idea is that people can financially be vulnerable at the time of the split. Good chance they've been halved.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So things like appliances, tools, furnishings, and everyday supplies. They're making these registry lists and saying friends are helping them out. Brett missed out.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. We all missed out. Yeah, no kidding. I didn't get any prizes.

[John Holmberg]

You got the house that I gotta.

[Brady Bogan]

Buy it back though. I bought it from. I bought my own stuff back. It was a scam.

[John Holmberg]

It's a buyback.

[Brady Bogan]

I will sell to the end of Risky Business. I'm sitting there buying back all my own crap. You and Guido the pimp were out there and negotiating trucking the egg through my front yard. I had to go full on Lynn Swan to catch that thing. Yeah that. That. That would have been nice to have a little hay and why not? You pay people for a marriage. The real emotional thing is after afterwards that's when people need help.

[John Holmberg]

Some people think it's a great idea and argue it's even more helpful than providing newly married couples with stuff since they may already have two versions of things like coffee makers, couches. But others are not fans. They say they've already supported their marriage. Yep. And the pregnancies. So if it doesn't work out. Brady's been ahead of his time the whole thing.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not giving you money.

[John Holmberg]

But I'll give you. I'll give you a stove if you get divorced.

[Brady Bogan]

That's better. Yeah. Make it last or I'll give you a divorce present. But I'm not giving you anything for this. This is your first day. Hey wait a minute. Does that mean Brady kicked in on the divorce that we all kicked in on because he was waiting the six month true. He's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Did you get a divorce present? Did you help out Chris after his seven month marriage?

[John Holmberg]

Is it official?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's been official.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know if anyone anything else you guys and moved on.

[Brady Bogan]

We kicked into start kicked in on it. We helped pay for that nightmare. You have to help.

[John Holmberg]

I still have the Amazon at his Amazon address in my account for that to me. Yeah, I'm sure. I'll get him a bottle of sauce. Oh great.

[Brady Bogan]

Jeez. Faucet of cash falling out of him for prizes.

[John Holmberg]

Did you notice how sauce finds him? Yeah, like was it two people that brought you some strange sauce on Friday night? Yeah, I got the one.

[Brady Bogan]

You're gonna get poisoned.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady Bogan]

You just. You just eat this.

[John Holmberg]

His favorite sauce sealed.

[Brady Bogan]

He got it at the grocery. Very nice timeout.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he did.

[Brady Bogan]

Why don't I just tell you about it because bought you this at the grocery store.

[John Holmberg]

It's in Texas.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not hey Brady, by the way. I don't hey Al Gore. There's an Internet now. You don't need people to go.

[John Holmberg]

Well he's the one who said, I want to bring you my.

[Brady Bogan]

This. That's what. Criminals. That's what. Poisoners.

[John Holmberg]

Very nice.

[Brady Bogan]

And you've seen. You've seen ships and bottles before, right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's a problem right now. There's a bridge that collapsed. Sealed in Maryland.

[Brady Bogan]

Texas.

[John Holmberg]

That's affecting Texas from Maryland. The horrible route.

[Brady Bogan]

They sealed it. A stranger gave me food, and it was sealed.

[John Holmberg]

How was it you drank the whole.

[Brady Bogan]

Just busy masturbating to the idea. Yeah. I got the I love fisting shirt from the listeners while I was out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That camp for my videos. You can watch that.

[John Holmberg]

There's a dude that robbed a Walgreens in Albuquerque, New Mexico, last. This happened last month. Mark Chacon.

[Brady Bogan]

He.

[John Holmberg]

He robbed the Walgreens and robbed it. Robbed it hard. The whole thing was caught on police body cam footage. It's like the old West. They ran him down on horseback.

[Brady Bogan]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

There's three police officers on horseback. The guy was running the streets. It's pretty cool. He had $230 worth of stuff. He tried to dodge him a couple times, and the horses corralled him in.

[Brady Bogan]

I missed the old days of robberies where the robber would shout out his gang name as they left. This is the old Chacone brothers. You tell them we was here, and then they run away. Rootness. Tootinous criminals in the valley. They would always scream their names.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then now running them down on horseback.

[John Holmberg]

Babyface Kid that used to do that?

[Brady Bogan]

I think so. Yeah. Baby Face Nelson. Yeah, Baby Face Nelson. Well, all those mobsters used to say that Nelson Gang done this. You know, they'd always. Or they'd leave a calling card.

[John Holmberg]

James Gang.

[Brady Bogan]

But that. Yeah. Then they'd get every show. Ah, those bastards. And they'd get away for, like, days, but they would just announce who the hell they were. It's great. I missed that. You should be required as a. I know they don't follow the law, but it should be a requirement to shout your name during the crime. And you tell. A little pride in your work is what that is. You tell them the old Toledo boys done this. Oh, they got video of this.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently it's laced with.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, okay. All right. Body cam. And there's a. It looks like this looks like Red Dead Redemption. The front end of the horse and a couple of hands and some reins. If he gets stuck in the snow, I'm gonna. If this thing.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry. He does.

[Brady Bogan]

If he gets. If he hits the wall and just stands there for a second oh, the cop is pointing. The horse is rolling down the road. This is awesome stuff. He's in a CVS parking lot. Now he shoots out into the lot from the sidewalk, and there's the dude running. And the horse is ready to. He's just jogging. He's gonna catch him. Horse is galloping at best. This dude's gotta load. You know how much you would your pants if that was coming at you from behind?

[John Holmberg]

Then he tried to punch the horse.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. He takes a swing across the street.

[John Holmberg]

Now two more will come. Amblin across.

[Brady Bogan]

Now two more horses show up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, this is classic Old Timey Israel. This is great. Get these cars out of here. Go back to the old horse.

[John Holmberg]

Now he's down to walking.

[Brady Bogan]

Now he's quitting.

[John Holmberg]

There's the second horse.

[Brady Bogan]

He said this. Out of control. Where'd you guys come from?

[John Holmberg]

Now there's a third one.

[Brady Bogan]

Did I walk into a time machine? Where'd y'all come from? Ain't no sirens.

[John Holmberg]

Hip check.

[Brady Bogan]

Those are blasters. Those are huge. And he keeps kind of pacing like him. Give him a second. We'll try to outrun these ponies again.

[John Holmberg]

Now the one guy gets off and cuffs him.

[Brady Bogan]

That would be so unbelievably scary. Can you imagine going back to the hood saying, ain't that a. I got pulled over by a horse. Three of them. Yosemite Sam showed up. Easy to run from the cars. They gotta stay in the street. These things go over everything. A little horse chasing you? Oh, I'd be scared to death. And brother was. He was flying through that parking lot at first, like, I got it. Here's that behind him. The Budweiser Clydesdale show up.

[John Holmberg]

This is normal patrol.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, they had them at the ready, right? They must be out on patrol. Yeah, they must have been doing their area, just patrolling that area.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that would pull over by Mr. Ed. Yeah, just bowl over. I love that. We need more of that action. I watched it on Mill Avenue once where they cut off a couple of drunks with the horses and they kind of triangulated these people and they just. You just don't know what to do. You can't turn around. The horse will just swing its ass around and hit you.

[John Holmberg]

You ever see them do the. The riot control? They turn them sideways.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And they push. Horses are just kind of side trotting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Aw, it's out of control now. You're listening to the best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And this is Frank Caliendo. And you'd think I'd be doing a better voice for this promo at the moment. Or is it technically a rejoin? I don't know. I'm not in the radio business. But what I am going to be.

[John Holmberg]

Doing is a little Donald Trump.

[Brady Bogan]

It's good, but not as good as.

[John Holmberg]

The best of Bloomberg's morning sickness, which we're getting back to right now. That's the weave and we just wove back.

[Brady Bogan]

So we had the. The letter from Bennett yesterday and I don't know why this happens, but we get letters from people and then it usually sparks a couple more. Got another one this morning. We never heard back from Bennett, though. No, I'm not. I checked for Bennett's emails.

[John Holmberg]

Then that means all morning.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I did on that means.

[John Holmberg]

We satisfy this request.

[Brady Bogan]

He asked us to make fun of it and put shine a light on his nightmarish situation. If you weren't with Bennett, fell in love with his son's girlfriend who was living at the house with Bennett, and the son broke up with her and moved out. The girl stayed. She was pregnant, had the baby, had his granddaughter. He fell in love, assumed that he fell in love by banging away. It wasn't one of those 1940s situations where he's going to wait till they were married and then he came home over the weekend and saw that she was a bed with his son again and it broke his heart. He wanted to be the father to his granddaughter and he was going to marry that sweet angel. Incest trailer park nonsense. Well, I got this email this morning after Bennett's story. It says, hey, Holmberg, since we're sharing, my dad and I are Eskimo brothers too. I married a girl when I was 22, she was 18. She danced for money. We got married because she got pregnant. Brady's right. Some families use religion as a fix all. Despite the fact that everything leading up to that marriage was pretty much against every religious tenet knocking up a stripper. You know, he's right. Anyway, he says, my religious dad said we had to make it right by our Lord. So we ended up getting married. I got a job as a wrench at a car dealership. She lost the baby, which in hindsight was a good thing because after she lost the child, she turned to my dad and showed how crazy she was. She needed the book and him for guidance. And of course, while he guided her to Jesus, he also guided her to the bedroom. They got closer and closer and evidently God started to tell him they should start having Sex while I was at work regularly. So they did that a lot. They sat me down on my birthday in 2006, I was 25 and told me they need to be together. Three years of boning my wife and all I was doing was scooping out my dad's Little Debbie's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Email of the year.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Oh, frame that oatmeal cream pie.

[Brady Bogan]

Scooping out dad's Little Debbie. Not a good band name, but a great album name anyway. And actually it says, that's right. Three years of boning my wife and all I was doing was scooping up my dad's Little Debbies. On the reg. It says so. It says so. Bennett and his son isn't alone is what he said. Poor English. Just start getting back into that trailer. As for me, I'm now a responsible man in my 40s, two kids, a wife that isn't a stripper. My dad and my ex stripper, they live in Oregon. They have two kids as well. And we don't talk. Life will get you, man. Happy to make your show better, Aaron.

[John Holmberg]

Positive outcome.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

Still with the.

[Brady Bogan]

The young broad. It worked out. That gives Bennett hope.

[John Holmberg]

One thing I'll always tell you, no matter what you're in, what situation, it'll always work out.

[Brady Bogan]

What does that mean?

[John Holmberg]

Might not like how you like it, though.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell that to OJ's wife. No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

It's like in golf, John. No matter where you had at your ball, he tried to tell to Ron.

[Brady Bogan]

Goldman, your ball's gonna land somewhere. And it might be the basement at the JonBenet Ramsey's house. Not everything works out.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, OJ. It worked out pretty good for OJ.

[Brady Bogan]

That for OJ. Good Lord, man.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I thought you said.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, for his wife. Oh, not everything. That's the worst advice I think I've ever heard in my life. Don't worry about it, kid. Everything works out. Another thing people say all the time, things happen for a reason. Yeah. One reason was a knife could go all the way through somebody else's head. Not everything's good. Not everything works out. That's the first thing you should teach your kids. Not everything works out. You might open the door one night and see an NFL hall of Famer chopping up a waiter and you're next. That ain't working out for anybody. Maybe it worked out for oj. If you want to call that working out. The last 30 years of your life. Not everything always works. In this particular case, you leave the.

[John Holmberg]

Good and bad, it could work out bad.

[Brady Bogan]

What you're saying is ignore the bad and things will seem like they've all worked out. And if someone cuts your head off, what do you care?

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna feel it.

[Brady Bogan]

You are gonna feel it for a minute.

[John Holmberg]

Briefly, briefly.

[Brady Bogan]

Man, those rose colored glasses, they are magnificent. What a beast. Yeah, that's bad advice. Don't listen to Brady. Not everything always works out. Not everything at all works out. Now, later you can say we made them. You make the most out of things that went south. That doesn't mean it worked out. It just means that you pivoted in life. If the ability to adjust. But I.

[John Holmberg]

Look seriousness, I say it. You can. You can get through this no matter what.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. O.J. got through it, but his wife didn't. He got through it all the way through it.

[John Holmberg]

More than.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he got through it and then went back and got through the rest of it and then tried to get through the spine, but it didn't work. Yeah. And Brady says that. And sometimes you can't get through it. It's just gonna live with you forever. It's gonna be a big burden for you for the rest of your life. Yeah. Are you still alive?

[John Holmberg]

You can carry it.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure. But you know what? This one dude who just emailed us, this Aaron guy is never going to get through because this happened in 2006 when he got sat down, he emailed the show. What is that, 18 years later. And said, all I was doing was scooping out Dad's Little Debbies. You think he's gotten through that or just it's just part of his past? I don't think he got through it.

[John Holmberg]

Put that little compartment that'll always be there.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. And smash it down and never deal with it again. Yeah, you can. You can live. It's not going to kill you is what you're saying. And that's also a phrase.

[John Holmberg]

You can't dwell on the past in order to get over it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, you can also ignore it and it'll come up and get you later. This dude's Bennett's story yesterday triggered Aaron's story today of looking down at his junk going, wow, that's a lot of stuff. It turns out that's Dad's Little Debbie's. What a phrase. Dad's Little Debbie's is a good band name. Dad's Little Debbies. Yeah. I don't like that advice. I don't like that things happen for a reason. That all falls into the category. He died doing what he loved and Things happen for a reason.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. You're just looking for the answers. I mean, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, you're trying to make it right. You're trying to get through it. Things happen for a reason is like, that doesn't mean anything. That doesn't mean a thing.

[John Holmberg]

No, but things that like, wow. A few that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Or, you know, how do you know what happens all the time?

[Brady Bogan]

If it did happen, you still might be here, but because it happened is the only thing you know. So you're here because this is just cause and effect. Sure. If it didn't happen, there might be that sliding another direction and then ended up right here. Yeah, you just have a different memory. And one of the memories you'd like to get rid of. Dad's Little Debbie gooping. The word scoop was involved. Yeesh. This says everything does happen for a reason. And sometimes that reason is you're stupid and you make bad decisions. That's exactly right. You're. The reasons are created by you.

[John Holmberg]

Everything happens for a reason.

[Brady Bogan]

Gross. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Tell that to the dude who's in a wheelchair. Because it didn't kill him. But he's not stronger. He ain't walking. That neuralink guy that Elon Musk is around, he was walking around just fine. Didn't kill him, made him stronger. My asset made him stronger. It weakened him up pretty good. Now, mentally, he's got to adjust and adapt. But he's playing chess with a neural link now and that's a massive accomplishment. I bet you he could lift the chess piece before. Just have to do things differently. I learned that from a guy in a wheelchair. Everything happens for a reason. He's like that. Nothing made my life better since I've been in this thing. I just have to now I just have to live like this. You have to tell yourself that if you die doing what you love, that to me, is the worst thing that can happen to you. I'm out there doing whatever I love, having the time of my life, I drop dead. I tell you right there. If you ask my ghost, what would you have rather had happen? I'd rather kept doing what I love. That dying part kind of ruined what I love. I like driving a car. That doesn't mean I want to get mangled up in a 10 car accident. He used to love driving. Yeah, but remember that semi rolled over him? That's not driving anymore. This guy says, think about this, John. The dad and the girlfriend were Going out for three years while he was at work before they finally sat him down. Over those three years, he admits that he was scooping, as he put it. Now, at some point, he's also got an overlap to him heading down south on that lady. And earlier, dad did the same thing while he was turning wrenches. So he's also enjoyed Dad's Little Debbie, too. Oh, God, Nicholas, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Everything happens for a reason.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that. No, that is not how. You can't handle everything like that. Yeah, well, I was. My wife was cheating on me with my dad, and I went down on her, and the next thing you know, I had a snowball sandwich and, well, everything happened for. Lord has a plan for me. Since they're religious, that's what he would say. The Lord had a plan for you to scoop out my Little Debbie? Yuck. I don't think that's part of God's plan.

[John Holmberg]

He works in mysterious ways.

[Brady Bogan]

That's too mysterious. Mysterious. That's. That's prankster. That's Jesus and God laughing. Hey, part of this dude's plan is to scoop out some of his dad's Little Debbies. We'll see how he adjusts to that. The Lord works in mysterious way. I could have done without that one prank you pulled on me there. You know, what do you got to.

[John Holmberg]

Disagree with on the Little Debbie plan? I. I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

There's certain parts of your plan seemed like you were having a laugh on my experience.

[John Holmberg]

I think you went rogue on that.

[Brady Bogan]

When I went down and that girl was a back to front wiper, was that part of your plan too? Oh, you shouldn't have gone down on her. You're not married. Ah, you son of it. You got me on a technicality. But my dad, who loves you, shouldn't have been doing that with my wife. And there I was, chowing down on Little Debbie's daddy's Little Debbie's. I think I can get sick this morning. This early. Did you? What would you do? Like, how many people? How you find out? 3. You haven't been with Matthiah. You married for a year, maybe less. Yeah, we've been together five years. Five years. And then Kurt and her sit you down, you're unaware, plop you down and say, hey, gotta let you know, Lord needs us to be together. We've been. We've been together for a while. They're dead to me. Dead to you or literally. Oh, I played the fifth on that one, but I'm just gonna say Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Would stay with it. Deal I think he.

[Brady Bogan]

He'd kill everybody in the house.

[John Holmberg]

I never said that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you would be right. I'd help you. All I'm saying, call me. Hey, turns out Matthia and Kurt been going at it and I've been scooping out Little Debbies for the last couple years. I need to get rid of my dad with me, I'm like, I'm there if Megan and the old man plopped down three years into the relationship and said, your wife's a brick house son. And I've been banging away on that for the last 36 months. It's like a short car loan. But anyway, we're gonna be together now. You've been doing this for what? And I've been scooping out Little Debbies. Yeah. Daddy's Little Debbies. Oh, for Christ's sake, you're all gonna die today. I would go to jail for that. That's a jail in offense. I don't think I. And I don't think a jury would convict you, like, in a hard way. Like, that's those crimes of passion where juries are like, wow, he didn't do much wrong there. I. It might have been a little bit of an overreaction, but I can understand hacking somebody up that Daddy's Little Debbies. But he doesn't talk to his dad. But thanks for sharing, Aaron. And now your two kids and your wife know that story. Hopefully he upgraded. Well, clearly. Yeah. A woman not having sex with his dad, that's an upgrade right away. It's a pretty low bar.

[John Holmberg]

That's one of those qualifying questions when he's dating.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, are you gonna have sex with my. Have you ever had sex with your boyfriend's dad? How about that, though? Like when she's like, I'm gonna meet your family. Oh, you're never gonna meet my dad ever. Why? Well, a, we don't talk. And here's why. Good Lord, does she want to get mixed up in that family? You know, I wonder, you know, watching these pornhub videos and stuff where these stories, some of them got to be true. Yeah. Because I'm sure, just like this, they might not be porns, they might be documentaries. Yeah. Might not be act. This is actual footage. You're so much bigger than your dad. Yeah, I always thought that was like a joke line. Maybe that's a common thing.

[John Holmberg]

Came from something that was real at one time.

[Brady Bogan]

So did your dad. And that's where the Little Debbie's come. Yeah, I'm with you, John. Part of God's plan. And they're in a better place now. Two of the worst phrases in the world. I agree with that. Did Brady just say that? Scooping out your dad's Little Debbies is a situation that just works out. Never. You're never the same Pop Pop your rose colored glasses.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly what I meant.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you can't even apply. Everything is happens for a reason or it'll all work out. Although in this case, it worked out. At least for dad and your ex stripper wife. You are strapped. And that's why I don't like that. It's like everybody's. Well, they were meant to be. They're together now. What about the dude you burdened with this trauma? Like his father couldn't even. He. He has no father. And he's Toledo now. At least Toledo's dad wouldn't do this to him. And Toledo, well, he might. He just. Nobody would. They'd never sit down and talk about it after. It's horrifying. Anyway, talk to your dad today and make sure. I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't tell me he'd die with that secret. That's the last thing too. In those deathbed confessions. You don't want your dad. You don't want Kurt telling you. Remember your wife Tracy? Like, yeah, I was having sex with her the whole time. And then he dies. Like, ah, deathbed confession. I didn't need to know that you die with that old man. I scooped out little Debbie.

[John Holmberg]

All this talk has made Tennessee finally put its foot down. Lawmakers proposed legislation to ban first cousin marriages in Tennessee.

[Brady Bogan]

In 2024, they finally decided. Enough of that.

[John Holmberg]

Let's cap this again. It has not been passed.

[Brady Bogan]

No, they're debating it. And again, in my perfect world, I don't think the human brain needs that law. But evidently we do.

[John Holmberg]

And if it passes, it would take effect immediately.

[Brady Bogan]

Right? Well, right. Like. Like today. Like it's immediate. So if you're gonna. And that's the scary part. If you're gonna hit your cousin, you gotta do it in the next 24 hours before this bill passes. Because the second pen hits paper on that. Come on, baby. You know you've been looking at me like that. You and your aunt. Last chance. You and your aunt and uncle's kid can't get married anymore. Get yourself a Bronco out of that.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to eliminate the term grandfathered as well.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. Is every. That's a good point. Brian says if everything happened for a reason, there would be no such thing as a Prank. Because they'd always end with the person just accepting that it happened, and it's just that you wouldn't be bothered by it. Everything happens for a reason. I hate that phrase. Not really. Could have been avoided. But now I gotta deal with this. I didn't kill you, so you're gonna get stronger. Yeah, I can't walk. My spine got separated. I'm gonna walk over here now because I don't know what else to tell you. I'm trying to stump her. Those are those things that we laugh at with live, laugh, love, and dance like no one's watching. You know, everything happens for a reason. If it didn't kill you, it makes you stronger. Those are the exact same things they sell on those plaques for lonely women, single women in their 50s in a house that have motivational speaking hang in their babies. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I've met dudes who have to breathe into tubes and push their wheelchair around with their mouths. They're not stronger than they used to be.

[John Holmberg]

I've never disagreed, though, with the one, the poverty sucks.

[Brady Bogan]

Poverty sucks. Yeah, that's gonna look. And nobody hangs that in their house, right? Nobody ever hangs the poverty sucks.

[John Holmberg]

On the bumper of The Rolls Royce.

[Brady Bogan]

100%. That should be in everyone's house. Like, reminder real quick. If you're gonna put up motivational sayings like, dance like no one's watching. Stupid. Poverty sucks is the one that needs to be everywhere because that's one thing nobody strives for. Out of control.

[John Holmberg]

Now.

[Brady Bogan]

Grab some protection. Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98k upd. Oh, this guy says, my wife's ex husband had a girlfriend leave him for his dad. I believe the dad and ex girlfriend had kids together as well. Meaning my stepdaughter has an aunt uncle much, much younger than her. It happens a lot. Like, all these people are spewing all their stuff, and then the meme that comes up, I love this one where it's a guy telling his friend, hey, don't worry, Nick. It's all part of God's plan. And then there's a shot of God in heaven going, one, create universe two, give Nick childhood trauma with no healthy way to cope until he ruins everything. And also herpes part of God's plan. If God's plan on my check sheet, std.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

Why? Well, it's not gonna kill you. You'll just get stronger from it. I don't want it, though. Terrible plan. How come LeBron's plan's so goddamn good. Give me LeBron's plan. That seems great. No kidding. We're handing out plans. I'm looking around. I'm seeing LeBron's plan's pretty solid. Elon Musk's plan looks pretty good. Where's my plan? I'm not unhappy with it, but where's my plan? Where's my Brown, brown plan? Fred was an overnight guy for a dozen years. 15 years. Yeah. Some God put that together for you. You should curse that individual forever. That's a terrible fate.

[John Holmberg]

Mysterious way.

[Brady Bogan]

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Ladies with crystal balls. And I don't talk to them either. Lunatic party. God's plan. Stop it. And then whenever you say, well, that's part of God's plan, It's always for something either to make somebody feel better for because you don't know what to say, or to try to explain a tragedy. And then when you say, well, that's part of God's plan, isn't it? Well, no, man. Man did that. Oh, for Christ's sake. One or the other. This wasn't part of his plan. Sandy Hook, what are we dealing with here? Who's the author of this thing? Tell Garrett yesterday and Aaron today. Part of that plan was to have their dads hammer away on their wives. Good. Frikey, that sounds terrible. I gotta call Dan today and just ask him. I'm gonna need a little but. Did you ever hose Megan? You call Kirk too. Because I think he'd do it. That little lady of yours comes on to me. I don't know. I'm a weak old man. You're both dead to me. Yeah, but you would actually kill them? I didn't say that. I would justify it. I think that's a justifiable homicide. I'm pretty sure of it. Brady would just say it makes you stronger. And it happened for a reason. But if good luck to you both. If Thorp was hammering away on your wife changes that. Changes the dynamic completely. Yeah. Brady, what if you were there? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if it was you? Good luck to them both Lie and.

[Brady Bogan]

Then you skip away.

[John Holmberg]

I'll move on.

[Brady Bogan]

Valdori Valder.

[John Holmberg]

There's other fish in the sea.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't believe that's true. There aren't that many fish for you anymore. You're an older gentleman. You're starting to fade.

[John Holmberg]

Don't care.

[Brady Bogan]

So that's it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out?

[Brady Bogan]

No, that's the Brady I know. That's the one I want to go with. With. But man, oh man, that's. I know Torp wouldn't have done it, but just imagine this guy probably. This guy probably thought that about his dad too. You find out Torp sits down with you hammering away on that gal for the last 36 months and we're gonna be together now. Sign the papers, boys. You gotta go get divorced. And did she. Oh, I need this guy, Aaron. Did she ask for half? He was.

[John Holmberg]

And you had.

[Brady Bogan]

Can you imagine?

[John Holmberg]

According to the.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, like according to just the legal black and white paper, you might have to pay her. But on the flip side, could he have been like one of our promotion guys and she's just upgrading herself?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he was.

[Brady Bogan]

He was a wrench at a dealership. Okay, maybe dad's a CEO of some big company. She's just a gold digging. So maybe considering circumstance. Yeah, they just let him off the financial. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. And who do you blame? Her or your dad?

[John Holmberg]

Who's more evil?

[Brady Bogan]

Dad. Dad's more evil. She's a. Dad's more evil. She. Yeah, she. She was a stripper to begin with. Right, right. I mean, you should have known going in, right. The odds of her being on the up and up, stable on the up and up and stuff. But you trust that your dad wasn't going to hose her, especially hiding behind all that Bible stuff. Oh my goodness. You people. In your story, are they still together? Yeah, it's what he said. They're still together. They live in Oregon, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

It was 06 you said.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, they live in Oregon with two kids. He said he's got two here. Dad and the stripper up in Oregon. So that's where. That's where the whole thing, it all worked out came from. See? It all works out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's good.

[Brady Bogan]

It all worked out in the end after the accident. I am stronger. No, you're not. You can't lift one pound.

[John Holmberg]

You think he gets the call every you guys, you think about coming up for Thanksgiving?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Do you think dad. Oh, Aaron, email back. Does dad every once in a while try to mend fences? Oh, I know we had our differences. You scooping out my little Debbies and all. No, we want to have you up for Christmas to celebrate the Lord Jesus birthday.

[John Holmberg]

You yourself, you're a good wrench.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And by the way, the truck's making a funny sound when I make left turns. I think it's a gonculator strap.

[John Holmberg]

Just hearing him say, son, I'm proud of you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I just want to let you know that no matter What? I've always loved you. Not always. There was that three year run. Your love took a back seat to popping. Debbie's inside my wife.

[John Holmberg]

You get up there. The kids have no idea but they're. They're calling you Uncle Scoops. Uncle Scoops.

[Brady Bogan]

They know this story.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Brady Bogan]

This is your half brother here. This is his ex wife. That's your mama. Hey, Scoops. You guys call me Scoops one more time. You tell me Matt O'Kummer liked his plan. Everything worked out in the end. 30 years later, you called him. Hey, it's Matt O'Connor.

[John Holmberg]

Go kill all ya.

[Brady Bogan]

All the guy did was lose his. Lose his Little Debbies in a wrestling match and forever labeled. It makes me giggle. Anyway, well, you guys are all nuts. And there's nothing we can do about that. The good news is it makes me feel okay about me. You know, I don't have these problems that I know about. Exactly. And I mean, I am like Brady when it comes to that. Don't tell me I don't need a death ped confession. If you've been hosing away and I've been scooping out Papa's Little Debbie and I don't know, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. Lying protects people. The reason we lie is so you don't hurt someone else's feelings. Sure, Brady, you look great in that shirt. Of course, of course. We all know that's a lie. But it would make him feel bad if we told him the truth.

[John Holmberg]

I feel great.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I don't want to be honest with you about that. Terrible. I'd be the biggest dick in the world if I was honest with you about that. So I tell you you look fantastic. And then Brett and I talk when you leave. What does he do?

[John Holmberg]

I know how it works.

[Brady Bogan]

Why is he wearing a cape?

[John Holmberg]

That's why I don't say anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell him it looks great. We all lie to make somebody feel better. Do I look nice in this? Yes. Does it make me look. No. I feel it's like a little thick in the hips. No, you look great.

[John Holmberg]

It's not the jeans.

[Brady Bogan]

And the most the time we're lying about that because we're running late. Put something on. Let's get out of here. I don't care if you look fat in those pants at all. We gotta go. We gotta go. And if I tell you you don't look good? If I tell you you don't look good. Always running late. Give me another 30 minutes of you trying to Find pants you like. So, yeah, you look great. The fact that women throughout eternity have not figured that out and will just quit asking us. It's a trap, guys. You know it, we know it. It's always a trap when you ask, how do I look? And we're supposed to be there in five minutes. We're gonna tell you. You look fine.

[John Holmberg]

Are you dressing six other women? What's with all the outfits?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, and that's the problem is that a lot of the times. Do I look nice in this? It's a trap. You look great. Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

You're just saying that means a change.

[Brady Bogan]

You're just saying. What do I. What am I? That you look terrible. I don't want to be seen in public with you. What is that? Did you cut up an old couch from the 70s and make pants out? Get out of those clothes? Nope. You ask us when we got six minutes before we gotta go. I don't feel good in this shirt.

[John Holmberg]

Does it look bad?

[Brady Bogan]

Can you see? Can you see my flyaways? What the hell's a flyaway? Little hairs on top of my head that nobody can see them. No one knows what a flyaway is.

[John Holmberg]

Now that you've pointed them out.

[Brady Bogan]

Right now, that's all I'm gonna see. I'll fly. Oh, Jesus. You're loaded with them. Let's go. Ah. This is a perfect way to put it. Dane has nailed it. Brady's put the past behind you argument. Just Brady. You can't dwell on the past. You're right. But sometimes, and in Aaron's case, you can still taste it. True.

[John Holmberg]

True.

[Brady Bogan]

Sometimes you're eating the past. This one says stories like these makes me happy about not having a dad like Toledo. High five. Toledo. No, dads are awesome. Yeah, that's true. Toledo will never run the high five. Lately, right? That's right. High five to Toledo. With all the other bastards out there who never had to taste their dad's scoops like a little Fritos. Scoops.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out of that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, God. I had a friend at Tony Roma's named Gary. Gary told me a story once about he was heartbroken. Girlfriend broke up with him. You know, when you're 19, 20. Devastating breakfast. Just devastating. And he's like, I didn't know what I was gonna do. Broken. Couple weeks go by, we haven't talked. I go over to her house. I can't live like this. I need to be with you. She's crying, he's crying. One thing leads to another, they start getting Physical. She pushes Gary away. We can't do that. He's like, why not? We just can't. I want to be closer. Gotta start making out again. Start going. He starts working his way down style.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Back up. He goes kissing her and stuff. Because that's just. I don't think this is right, Gary. He's like, I don't want to force you to do it. No, I want to. I just can't. He's like, I don't understand. Back at it. Down goes Gary again. And this time, she lets him. Few seconds later, Gary's like. She starts sobbing. Kevin came over from work today and we had snack. Wait a second here. Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

Those are Little Debbies.

[Brady Bogan]

Those are Little Debbies. You didn't even. I mean, I appreciate you trying to stop me twice, but you caved kind of easily, knowing you were packed full like a Twinkie. Oh, poor Gary. Drove home crying of Kevin's Little Debbie.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, I'm not even laughing.

[Brady Bogan]

I am. He told me that story, and I couldn't help it. Like, right in the middle, just go like, oh, it's not funny, man. I'm like, it's. Look, someday you're gonna find. Now you're gonna. This is funny. This story is. Because it's not happening to me. I understand you don't think it's funny, but this is hilarious. You know, it's not funny to you in the same way that, you know, movies about snipers aren't funny to the Kennedy family. But someday, enough time will pass. Poor Gary. Little Debbie. But at least it wasn't his dad, just Kevin from work. Andrew wanted to chime in. He says, john, you're right. We all lie to make people feel better. Your nose isn't that big, and I appreciate that. I also know you're lying. I don't need a detector to figure that out.

[C]

But it is.

[Brady Bogan]

It's big. And that's fine. I've accepted. Keep the emails coming. And also, talk to dad today. Call your dad today. Give him a ring. Not Toledo, not Brady. Sorry. Brady coated. But I'm pretty sure your dad's. Who knows? There were a lot of secrets going on in there. I don't think he'd do that to you. But you wouldn't, like, still be pals with him?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

You'd have to eliminate dad. It makes the whole life a lie.

[John Holmberg]

But then again, eliminate.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd eliminate.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe after a certain amount of time, I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope, nope. No. You'd be at Christmas Again, with a dad who did that. And your ex wife's there too.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy things happen, Sean.

[Brady Bogan]

No. Yeah, you being crazy. That's what would happen. You'd have to be crazy to want to do it. I don't love anybody that much. Nope, none of my.

[John Holmberg]

Why do they call you Scoops?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it happened for a reason that I ate my dad's on a regular basis throughout most of.

[John Holmberg]

For three years.

[Brady Bogan]

Most of Bush's first term. Worst.

[John Holmberg]

So lift your glasses up.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, here's to you guys making it work. Man, that guy's a delusional nightmare. Did he just toast his dad and his stepmom ex wife. Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't that bad.

[Brady Bogan]

Jesus. Jesus would come down and go, you're a little too forgiving, I think. Holy smokes.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God he loved pineapple juice.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that's what JonBenet. They had her on pineapple too. Man, oh man, you would forgive that I burned the house down with them in it. It doesn't make him a bad daddy. Yes, it does. He still gave me a lot of good memory nuts. And maybe we have something to do with it. Maybe this nonsense going on for 22 years on the heels of Springer and all the other crap that got spewed out and me saying I'm comfortable saying whatever I want has made people do whatever they want. Maybe. Maybe they're spring truth to the ChatGPT show over there at KSLX or the Beth Show. Reading your kids funny letters about how they didn't do homework and like all the terrible radio and bits that go on that keep everything safe so we don't learn about you guys and little Debbie. That's all we've done is create a platform for these people to tell their stories. Back in the olden days, used to. Used to smash that down and die with those secrets. Now there's radio shows like this one, and I take it some blame for that for wrecking society a little bit. Or you can email me and I'll read your story.

[John Holmberg]

Why would they talk about that, right?

[Brady Bogan]

That like what your parents always said. Why would you even bring that up? You're right. Because what they knew and what we didn't was, oh my God, this story's hilarious. Let's talk about it. Is that the next day, inevitably you get three or four more people feel like, oh, it's a safe place to talk about my dad and hosing my wife and eating Little Debbie. Yuck. Yeah, we should do that more like, oh, let's call our moms and tell them we love them. Like let's do mundane nonsense and bring society back to boring. Yuck. Never heard that on the old radio shows. Wolfman Jack Casey Case, I've never. Dear Casey, my dad boned my wife for three years and I've been chowing down on his Little Debbie's ever said.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz I hear a little street dog night.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a song right now by Cannibal Course called Tastes like. Can I dedicate that to my dad and my ex wife now stepmom? Sure can. Scoop, this one's for you. Unbelievable. Anyway, yeah, to all of you and your emails are gross and thank you for sharing. It's out of control.

[John Holmberg]

Now.

[Brady Bogan]

The rest of Homer's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio this segment brought to you guys by mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Now whatever your looking for, it doesn't matter if it's electronics, jewelry, tools, pretty much, you name it, they got it there. All right, check them out online at mo money pawn.com or like I said.

[John Holmberg]

Just go to the store and check them out.

[Brady Bogan]

12Th street in Indian School, it's Mo Money Pond. Welcome back everybody. It's Monday. The daily grind has gotten itself right back in front of you. So now you're rolling back in teachers. Are they back today? Is that today? Today's a big day. My wife was pissed off about it. Yeah, everybody is. Nobody wants to go teach those awful things, get to be a teacher and you realize, oh my God, there's too many kids involved in this. I would teach like those mental adults if I became a teacher. I think that would be my goal because at least they're just kind of quiet. Crazy adults. Yeah. No, not crazy. No, they have those classes for dumb adults. You know, they have education classes. Yeah, they have to go back when they're like extended learning. Exactly, that's what they call it. But it's basically dumb adults. But they're behaved because they know they're dumb adults and they're embarrassed to make too much noise. They don't want to stand out. I was a teacher, that's my route. I want to extend learning a bunch.

[John Holmberg]

Fights don't break out.

[Brady Bogan]

Today would be a nightmare day for teaching. Those kids are all off beat, Their schedule stinks. They come flying back in all they're all gonna be tired, hellbound and screaming and yelling. Yeah, the first couple hours are gonna be a disaster.

[John Holmberg]

Trying to open up with the pop quiz.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you open up with something hard and awful. My wife was saying she moves all her Desks around and changes the dynamic in there. Yeah. Get them away from uses them even. Yeah, yeah, maybe like what the hell? It's like hitting him in the head. It's like. It's like stunning a fish and putting it in the live well. It's like Tunk. What the hell's going on? Yeah. You took him out of its natural environment, which is crazy town for the last two weeks. Whack him in the head, put him in a new spot. Sit him next to something else. They won't know what to do. That's a good move. Nice job, Lisa. Well done. Well played. You stun those little bastards. Schools are gonna be different now because Sheriff Joe's decided to have untrained armed guards standing outside your floor.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care what anybody says.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he just. He's taking things into his own hands. That's what he does. He's the sheriff, God damn it. He's like Andy Taylor. I don't care about any training or anything like that, or voting. It's gonna have untrained armed posse volunteers. Something's gonna go wrong. One of those guys gonna shoot a teacher. It sets me. One of those untrained nut jobs.

[John Holmberg]

No, it'd be. It'd be one of those teachers assistant. Cuz they're all like 17, 18. They look sketchy anyway.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yeah. Who's gonna be. Who's gonna be the hero? It's gonna be the George Zimmer situation. It's. It's inviting that problem to see. Or some banging it's gonna go on. Somebody's gonna hump in the cafeteria. That could be too. That's possible. But basically it's gonna be some guy who's like. Wants to be the hero. Who is looking for something wrong rather than actually assessing a situation. Right. It's gonna be different. I don't. And I'm a guy expecting something to go wrong. I don't. I don't have a problem with saying, you know, having a. Having someone armed is a bad thing, but having someone armed looking for trouble is always a bad thing. Always.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I thought about when they were talking about, you know, the debate. There's some people that want teachers. Teachers should carry.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Somebody thought that one teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Talk about someone going crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yeah. Again, the last person I want armed is a teacher. $28,000 a year.

[John Holmberg]

Should have had a gun.

[Brady Bogan]

There's no way. Are you kidding me? If Mr. My sixth grade teacher's name was Mr. Rogers. And don't let the name fool you because he Was he wanted to take a swing at one of us every day with this giant thing he called the mother bear. He had a yardstick that was made of oak that he used to smash into desks and it would literally buckle the desk. Occasionally you'd have to get a new desk because he'd go boom onto the desk and right down the center. This thing was 35 pounds. If it was anything, face would all turn red. And he was. He was Hypertension. Vodka hated us.

[John Holmberg]

Whiskey nose.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cherry box.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. No, he was. He was a. He was a mess. And if he had a gun, DJ Lisicki would have been dead in a second. I remember every. Because DJ used to throw pens at people lunches to try to pop if they had a drink in there. It would start spraying all over. And you just hear DJ every day. He'd have to run over. Was sick.

[John Holmberg]

He's successful.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, he popped soda cans. He was amazing. It was like he was throwing darts. He popped mine once. It was great. I thought it was hilarious, but it makes a horrible mess. And who's cleaning that up? Dude with a 35 pound weapon. You give that guy a gun, he would have eliminated that problem. Yeah, and that's another thing. Untrained teachers, one per school volunteer. I don't know. They want to train. I know, but not train them enough. You're not a cop, you're a teacher. And if they can't train them to be good teachers because they won't pay for it, how they gonna train them to be good marksmen? I don't know if that's the best way to use. Use the money. Yeah, I don't think it is. I don't know. But, you know, volunteers gonna be out at your schools today. Armed volunteers looking for trouble. I always like that scenario set up. We're gonna keep armed people around looking for problems that never backs. He's dropping your kid off. Who are you? Yeah, you got. Hey, is this. What's this little person doing here? It's my son. He's in second grade. Don't reach into your pocket. Don't reach into your pocket. No giving him a lunch. Put the backpack down. Sir, I think you're overdoing it. You be quiet or I'll kill you. We got volunteers out there, heavily armed, protecting your kids. Anybody think that's a good idea? It's a great idea.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine the nicknames. Just like Mother bear.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah?

[John Holmberg]

Well, the nicknames for their arms.

[Brady Bogan]

If Sandy Hook could have been predicted, then you could have stopped him with you know anybody, but you can't predict lunacy. You can't predict crazy. So now it's almost like a dare. But anyway. Welcome back to school, kids. The overreactions have begun in several cities, ours included. Well done.

[John Holmberg]

I think there's been some huge steps in the right direction, the healing for a lot of the folks at Sandy Hook. Because R. Kelly has.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he wrote us, put out a tribute once R. Kelly writes a song about children. I'm. That's. I'm a fan. No. And that on the heels of the other thing that women don't like being called full figured anymore, like, Lane Bryant can't be full figured. Models can't be full figured. They like curvy. Curvy's the new word. They've decided to start, like, you know.

[John Holmberg]

It'S the business side of it. Let's stop calling them plus size.

[Brady Bogan]

They did it. They did a survey. Full figured, plus size, all that stuff. The fat girl stores also had these little surveys and said, okay, they don't like it. They don't like shopping at something called the plus size. So they just replaced plus size with curvy, which nobody ever, ever pays attention to. The fact that curvy will just now become plus size and be associated with big girls. It's whatever associates you with big girls. Just. How about the big girl store? Because that's what it is and you're a big girl and that's okay because you shop there and you know it. If you're comfortable with it, then it doesn't matter what. What it's called. Right. But plus sizes become the. It went from Negro to black to African American because all those. Eventually it all became like, all right, they're all going to be offensive because people are going to use them poorly. But curvy, I suppose. How about Lumpy? Some of you, Some aren't curvy. Some skinny girls aren't curvy. You can't just assume that they're going to be in great shape. They're not. You got lumpy girls, you got curvy girls. We have to have a lumpy girl.

[John Holmberg]

Boutique, like Cankles or Cankle Shop, a.

[Brady Bogan]

Store for women, especially women with cankles. I have Cankles. I'm going to that. But guys, on the other hand, the Big and tall stores are called Big and Tall, Destination xl, Casual. Casual. Large man, the large man, the store. They just go for it. They just say it. You're huge. You've got a problem with your weight. Here's your store. Catered to guys with too much weight on their bodies. Would you rather them soften it up a little? You know, for men? No, I think it's great for the fluffy guy. I like that. Exactly. If they started to do it, how badly we beat up dudes. How about for the fluffy girl? How about puffy women shops? You a puffy. Come on down to puppy Women. We get clothes to cover up your giant puffy body. Blossoms, you big puffy bitch. I don't want to be called puffy. Make it plus size again. Come on, Puffy. Let me show you some lingerie for the big puffy woman. You got a lot of puff.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta go to the mall. Gotta stop by muffins.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Call it muffin top. And then for the severe overweight woman, the bundt cake store where it all flows over the waistband. For the puffy woman inside all of.

[John Holmberg]

Us, the fold puffs.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, the fold rolls. Lane Bryant. It's associated with bigger. You can't change. We are curvy women. All right, whatever, lady Puffy plus. Plus size seems nice to me. That seems okay. And your plus size, yours.

[John Holmberg]

It. I. You know, I think the. The big thing is, is walking into the store maybe for the.

[Brady Bogan]

So that's never gonna change.

[John Holmberg]

It won't.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you can't. Whatever you call it, you're still going into the big girls online ordering. Exactly. And if you hate it so much, do something about it. How about that? Oh, I can't stand it. Don't call me plus size. Give me a cuter name. I hate it. I don't want to be associate.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then now tall people, maybe that's different on both sides.

[Brady Bogan]

Plus size isn't for tall.

[John Holmberg]

I don't have to worry about that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. Tall women aren't. They don't get there. They got plenty of stuff at the regular girl store because tall women.

[John Holmberg]

Do they?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. Catered.

[John Holmberg]

Not like you see a ton of. It's over 6.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't. Yeah, they don't call it big. And tall women's shops, they don't do that. It's. You got the puffy woman store and then you got the, you know, supermodels. The. To get their clothes made for them. So tall women usually doing okay on their own anyway. They're like, yeah, they're probably married to some guy with money and can have their clothes made for them. Perry Raleigh is a giant tall woman who's good shape. Gotta go to a specialty store for her clothes. She'll have somebody make them because her hot Rich husband is taking care of business. Puffy women. I like puffy curvy, puffy broads. Puffy broads. I can see the sign right now. A bunch of happy puffy ones. Like they're clouds. They're thi. You know, they're thick, but they're really soft and fluffy. Puff women do that. Ladies. Curvy is just as fat. Saying fat in a cuter way is not going to make you skinny. And lay off the ranch. Maybe. If that's the issue. How about less ranch dressing on your chocolate bars? I don't know. They eat everything. I don't think they're grazing on everything now the fair's open. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So I'm sure they'll drop ranch on something.

[John Holmberg]

Be a good one. Grazers.

[Brady Bogan]

Grazers isn't bad. The pasture for curvy. For curvy women, it's out of control now. 98. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big Red radio. I gotta read this before we move on to anything else. These are those moments where I have to reset all of our emails that have come in in the last few weeks about wives. You know, watching their husbands bang their brother and coming in on that. And then the dude this morning that said that his dad banged his wife and he realized that for three years he was scooping out Little Debbie Daddies. His phrase, not mine. I believe the exact line was, I spent three years scooping out dad's Little Debbie. And I hate that because it's pornhub that created us, that ruined the Little Debbie for people like Brady by making cream pie. Something completely horrifying.

[John Holmberg]

Now you just want me to go get a dozen Swiss Rolls.

[Brady Bogan]

Rolls, right? You want this? Yeah. You can't even say it. Swiss rolls. Will.

[John Holmberg]

Swiss rolls.

[Brady Bogan]

Man, oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Holy.

[Brady Bogan]

If you can't say it, you can't have one. Third time.

[John Holmberg]

Swiss rolls.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of effort in that. You need to just kind of relax.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't take that much to eat them.

[Brady Bogan]

Breathe. No, I know. Well, Freddie, did you really just give us. Are you climbing up? I was gonna say 51 years old. They're real easy to eat, too. Yeah. Put it in your mouth and chew. Like, what? I gotta climb a ladder for this thing?

[John Holmberg]

Well, let's go down that rabbit hole.

[Brady Bogan]

What is the most difficult snack cake to eat? Degree of difficulty.

[John Holmberg]

Little Debbie category.

[Brady Bogan]

What is the EQP of a Little Debbie?

[John Holmberg]

Those oatmeal ones. I'm okay. With those. It's those nutty butter.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that's because you don't like it. Yeah, that doesn't make it difficult. That's just. You don't like the taste.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're. They all glide down there. It is sexy.

[Brady Bogan]

So we can say that the Swiss rolls themselves are easy to eat. That applies to all snack candies. You enjoy the things that are hard to eat. Vegetables, but not. That's just because of flavor. Swiss rolls, just like all other snacks that you're into, glide right down those. Slide down like a. Like you're at golf land.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Brett?

[Brady Bogan]

The water park. Gulp. Yeah, and by the end, somehow Brett's throwing fingers at you. Anyway, we got all these emails about the way the world works and how crazy it is, and Brady's not helping, but I get this one says John. They say that comparison is the thief of joy, but your show is proof that that's not true. Your show brings me joy through comparison. When I wake up in the morning, I hear you reading emails about people's husbands banging their wives, brothers, incestual grandfather relationships, teenagers having heroin babies. And it makes me realize my life isn't nearly as sad and pathetic as sometimes I think it is. And for that, your show is awesome. Thank you, boys, for making us little worker bees out here realize that life isn't so bad. Things could be worse. You come home one day and catch your partner banging your brother. That's not happened to me. And I owe it to you guys to remind me. You know what? That's what this show. This show's mission statement from day one was make him not feel so pathetic. Remind him.

[John Holmberg]

I think I saw that in one of the offices we were in.

[Brady Bogan]

Most of the audience is more pathetic than you are.

[John Holmberg]

Chuck used to say that all the time.

[Brady Bogan]

They're all pathetic. Varying degrees. Brady, swallow this Swiss roll whole. No problem, boss man.

[John Holmberg]

Look at him.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at him. He's like a seal with a fish. Down it goes. I've set up a group of horns that play different notes. I believe I can make Brady play a song with his face on these for applying the pizza. Throw it to a march. It goes right in. Swiss rolls. I don't think. I don't like those. I'm not a fan of the Swiss.

[John Holmberg]

And they should do like a ho ho.

[Brady Bogan]

I know what they are.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah?

[Brady Bogan]

I just told you I didn't like them. Don't insult a man. That was your problem.

[John Holmberg]

He was trying to reconvince you the other way.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, I just Told you I don't like them. Which clearly means I've had one. Well, they're ho hos. I don't care. I don't like them. That's not my. That wouldn't be a go to for me. And besides that, you've changed the topic once again to what a cream pie's turned into versus what you like to eat. I don't know how you do that. You're amazing. Like a magician dancing around and the next thing you know I'm arguing the merits of a swiss roll. Meanwhile, we got a listener out there who's been scooping out dad's little Debbies. That doesn't make sense to me, but that is a great phrase. So thank you. And yes, when you listen to this show, our one job, hopefully we're getting it done on a daily basis is to make you feel less pathetic by sharing other people's horrible situations. That's okay. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Just saw a video of a guy who went through was getting a bat swung at him on the side of the road. Boy did he do a perfect job of bat defense. They've we've done that in the last few weeks. Bat defense which is a blast. Yesterday we did owed stuff like if somebody pulled a gun on you in a crowd, how to disarm someone or get the gun out of the way without shooting the guys next to you. Do not be the one who accelerates the situation. Don't be that guy. They teach you that right away. Reactdefense.com were there yesterday doing a bunch of great stuff. Had a blast once again and then threw about 130 pitches playing baseball afterwards. Love it up there. You can be part of this thing for the price. Just you cannot beat 199 bucks. Two months personal training, hands on right there at the house of brews and you become a better version of you. Be a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black Brady Entertainment.

[John Holmberg]

Elizabeth Hurley has a girl on girl sex scene in her upcoming movie Strictly Confidential. The movie was written directed by her 21 year old son. Yeah, okay mom.

[Brady Bogan]

Cut.

[John Holmberg]

Let's, let's do this again. I need you guys to Damien Hurley.

[Brady Bogan]

Remember we had Elizabeth Hurley on the show on the phone and I asked her, I'm like. Because she had said something about her son seeing pictures of her in Bikinis. And I'm like, that's weird because, like, you, like, show your kid that you're hot. You're, like, a really hot mom. Oh, that's gross. And he's directing her in a sex scene. Ew.

[John Holmberg]

Brett mentioned it or Toledo mentioned it earlier this week, but Dune Part 2 is out this weekend.

[Brady Bogan]

Can you imagine?

[John Holmberg]

Great reviews.

[Brady Bogan]

Walking Bunny through a sex scene.

[John Holmberg]

No. Next topic.

[Brady Bogan]

Where do I put my legs? Brady, we gotta get them higher.

[John Holmberg]

I need you to be louder. When's the last time you did this?

[Brady Bogan]

Mom, you gotta get that thing airborne a little bit, or it's buried in the mattress.

[John Holmberg]

We're not getting enough rosebud. I need more rosebud.

[Brady Bogan]

What kind of movie are you making with her? Jesus. I'll be showing that video next week on Friday. I'm talking about a delicate sex scene. Your mother has a rosebud in yours. Come on, man.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Father, I'm so sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

You finish on the rosebud. Mom, we're almost done.

[John Holmberg]

Kiss it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll mean it. Cut. Guys, I'm not getting the passion here. Here's my mom with a rosebud out, and you guys aren't passionate about it. I want to believe this.

[John Holmberg]

Dr. Dre got his star in the Walka the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and Snoop Dogg, Eminem, and 50 Cent showed up. Do they all have it, or does just Dre have it? I think Just Dre right now.

[Brady Bogan]

But.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sure on that. Maybe Snoop has one.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. I don't think Eminem has. Interesting. It's a strange. The Walk of Fame thing was ruined for me when I saw Mel Gibson do it for Chicken Run, and then I saw him again at Universal Studios, because that's where they premiered it. I thought Chicken Run was awesome. I lived in LA at the time, and I gave him a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That was like, 1999, 2000. Mel Gibson was still awesome. And I remember two things about it. He was bald, which took me by surprise. Mel Gibson was completely bald. Like Doug Hopkins. Like Doug Hopkins, commercial ball. Oh. And then the guy next to me explained to me how it happens. The publicist calls, makes the submission, and then the. They pay for it, they write it, and they do it as a promotion. He said, you ever notice that nobody doesn't have something to promote when they do?

[John Holmberg]

This isn't almost like a pay it forward, though, like another actor or whoever, and that will pay for it for them.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of times, the agent or the. The Studio. But a lot of times they have to nominate themselves technically through their own people. It's weird. It's not an honor that's just bestowed upon you. There's a lot of, you know, mechanisms at play that make payment. Yeah, the studios have to go, well, we've got a movie. We can do it on April 15th. The movie opens on the 17th. It'll be perfect. It'll be a big thing. He gets to star. Chicken Run comes out. I happened to be in LA while that was going on, and then I saw Chicken Run at the premiere at the Universal Studios Theater, which is awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Now, with the influencers involved, I wonder if they'll start getting stars and stuff. That Walk of Fame will make it to San Diego in the next two years. Mr. Beastle deserves a spot there. If we're just.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it the Hollywood Walk of Fame, though? Is Hollywood even important to that? Well, it's not. He's probably never set foot in Hollywood or. It doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

It's all on Hollywood Boulevard.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it? It goes down, it moves around, but it's. That's where it basically is. Crazy. And it will eventually lose steam. Like, they have a Walk of Fame in Palm Springs, and you're walking around. Who is that? Oh, yeah, it's all up and down the Keats Canyon. It's a similar concept. And they've got a lot of superstars, like Marilyn Monroe's there. Anybody who played like a playhouse or spent time there. Bob Hope named Sinatra. Yeah, all those guys. But then, like, local celebrities, too. Radio people. Like, we'd have a star in Palm Springs. They. We got one here. By the way. You go down by Hannies to San Carlos. Walk around down there. You got to walk like stars on the. On the sidewalk.

[John Holmberg]

Got to get you on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yo. Good God, no. Get Larry on there. No, they stopped doing.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we've got the Radio hall of Fame that I want nothing to do with. Don't put anybody in them. Not really an honor. It's just a way to sell tables for something.