BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - FRIDAY - January 3, 2025 - John's Door To Door Mag Sales Guy - Feb 2006

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - FRIDAY - January 3, 2025

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Release Date: January 3, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS), the hosts delve into the humorous and often chaotic world of door-to-door magazine sales. Brady Bogan shares an entertaining and candid account of his past experiences as a magazine sales representative, blending personal anecdotes with sharp social commentary. The discussion is peppered with witty banter among the hosts, providing listeners with both laughter and insightful observations on societal stereotypes.

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Brady Bogan’s Door-to-Door Adventures

Brady opens the episode by recounting his time selling magazines door-to-door, a job that inadvertently kept him away from a darker path. He humorously describes the challenges and absurdities of the role, highlighting how it served as a pivotal point in his life.

"One thing that saved me, this door to door job selling magazines. And there's only one thing I need 20,000 points to prove that I can communicate with the public."
— Brady Bogan [04:48]

Brady shares a memorable encounter where he humorously pretends to buy crack from a fellow salesman to throw off their pitch, resulting in an awkward but funny interaction.

"I asked him if you have any crack to sell, because I thought it'd be funny if he earned points selling crack."
— Brady Bogan [04:23]

This tactic not only lightens the mood but also underscores the often bizarre nature of door-to-door salesmanship.

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Racial Stereotypes in Magazine Sales

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the racial stereotypes associated with magazine salespeople. Brady expresses frustration over the lack of diversity in his past interactions, noting that he primarily encountered Black salesmen rather than White ones.

"I never had a white guy selling you magazines. It's always a black guy."
— Brady Bogan [07:23]

The co-hosts engage in a candid conversation about the implications of these observations, touching upon themes of racial discrimination and representation. This segment is both thought-provoking and delivered with the show's characteristic humor.

"I think this is racial discrimination."
— Brady Bogan [07:26]

Brady humorously laments the absence of White salesmen, suggesting that increasing diversity could challenge existing stereotypes and potentially disrupt the status quo.

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Humorous Banter and Personal Anecdotes

The co-hosts, Brady, Eric, and Diana, engage in lively and humorous exchanges throughout the episode. They share personal stories, joke about each other's quirks, and playfully tease one another, creating a dynamic and entertaining listening experience.

For instance, Brady recounts an incident where he accidentally leaves his front window open while watching a video of himself, leading to curious onlookers.

"So I dropped a towel and I'm watching this tape of me and it's on the 53-inch, which goes right out the window... there are 10 kids in the road on their razor scooters just going in circles, looking in the window."
— Brady Bogan [12:25]

Another humorous moment occurs when Brady discusses his supposed "stinky feet," leading to playful teasing from Eric and Diana.

"If their toes and feet are bad, that is not a good sign."
— Brady Bogan [21:18]

These interactions not only provide comic relief but also showcase the camaraderie among the hosts.

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Listener Call-In: Relating Personal Experiences

Towards the latter part of the episode, listeners join the conversation, sharing their own experiences related to door-to-door interactions. A caller narrates a story of welcoming a fellow struggling with addiction into his home, only to realize the complexities of supporting someone in recovery.

"One of my cousins were out back smoking out and we hear a doorbell ringing... the crackhead selling magazines came in and smoked with you?"
— Caller [17:00]

The hosts respond with empathy and humor, discussing the challenges of helping others while maintaining boundaries. This segment highlights the show's interactive nature and its ability to connect with the audience on personal levels.

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Closing Reflections

As the episode wraps up, Brady reflects on the importance of self-awareness and personal growth. He emphasizes the value of reviewing one's actions and behaviors, albeit in his unique and humorous style.

"You pick her apart too. But while you're with her or him, Brady, you... you can see them. You can't see yourself."
— Brady Bogan [15:48]

The hosts leave listeners with a blend of laughter and thoughtful musings, staying true to HMS's mission to entertain, question, and provoke thought.

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Notable Quotes

• "One thing that saved me, this door to door job selling magazines..."
  — Brady Bogan [04:48]

• "I never had a white guy selling you magazines. It's always a black guy."
  — Brady Bogan [07:23]

• "Do it, do it, do it. That's all my brain saying."
  — Brady Bogan [04:13]

• "If their toes and feet are bad, that is not a good sign."
  — Brady Bogan [21:18]

• "You can't see me. I'm very..."
  — Brady Bogan [12:14]

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with insightful commentary on societal issues. Through Brady Bogan's engaging storytelling and the hosts' dynamic interactions, listeners are treated to a session that's both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether you're familiar with door-to-door sales or not, the episode offers relatable moments and laughter, embodying the spirit of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

For more episodes and updates, tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), via the 98KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.

[Brady Bogan]

For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core institute dot com. Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of home birds, morning sickness. This is the big red radio. You know, on my good deeds kick lately, since sheriff and his posse are out to get me. And so last few days I felt.

[Eric]

Like, you know, they're not out to.

[Brady Bogan]

Get you, they're out to get me.

[Diana]

Have you locked yourself into your house? I have, yeah.

[Eric]

The fortress you hold up with a rainbow throw on.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yesterday, yeah, I put my disguise on and I dug a hole in the backyard just in case I need to lay low. And I made a big, like, dirt cave. So. Because according to a guy, kfyi, I am Osama's number two. This is his exact quote. He's worse than Osama's number two. Exactly.

[Diana]

Do you have any weapons?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm glad I scare that guy that much, by the way. I'm glad I scare that guy that much. Cause I would like to scare him. No, I don't have anyone. I would love to just stand in his bedroom window and go bleh every couple minutes.

[Diana]

You have your dogs, but the best.

[Brady Bogan]

Thing is, yesterday I'm at the house and Brady's had these moments, you know, it's. And I, and I'm not gonna say this in a racist way, but it's never a white guy, A black guy comes to the door, knocks on the door. I'm outside cleaning up dog poop. Actually I had the shovel in.

[Diana]

It's never a white guy. I always get those Mormon kids at my door.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the religious end. But it's never a white guy who's gonna do this.

[Eric]

Did you buy a boatload of cleaner?

[Brady Bogan]

No. And that's another thing. What is the cleaner thing about? But this guy's at the door. Very nice.

[Eric]

Magic.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, simple green.

[Eric]

Yeah, simple green.

[Brady Bogan]

They make a mess in your driveway and then spray it up. And check this out. Yeah. And I don't want that. I don't ever listen to that. I don't want any products. So the guy's standing there and I finally had the courage to do it. Hey, it was the same thing from office space.

[Diana]

The crackhead.

[Brady Bogan]

The crackhead. I used to be on crack and into drugs. And there was a time in my life in which that I thought I was going to go the wrong direction and maybe even be in jail. One thing that saved me, this door to door job selling magazines. And there's only one thing I need 20,000 points to prove that I can communicate with the public. I used to sell crack, I used to sell cocaine. I used to be in a bad situation. And he went on and on and on and I sat and thought, John, do it, do it. Let him get to the part where he's going to sell you and do it. And that's all that's rolling through my mind. Do it, do it, do it. That's all my brain saying. I didn't even have the little angel on my shoulder. I just had the devil going, oh God, do it John, do it. And I heard him, I'm like, I got you man. Slap a high five with my shoulder, devil. And then he goes, and I'm interested in selling you. And I interrupted, I said, yes, I will buy crack from you. And he looked at me and just froze. Had no idea where to go with that. And I'm like, I've been waiting for somebody to do the door to door crack sale for years. And I've got this big grin on my face like tada, I did it. No, he just stood there, that's some magazines and I wanted to see a few. And he just went right into his pitch again. And then he's just looking at me, goes, nobody's never. Nobody's never done that to me before. And then I think he got kind of excited, like maybe if he had crack, he would buy it. And I'm like, I'm just kidding. But that's the way you throw these people off.

[Diana]

I thought you're going the other direction. I thought you were gonna ask him on money laundering or something.

[Brady Bogan]

No. You asked him. Yeah. No, if I did the office space thing. I asked him if he had any crack to sell, because I thought it'd be funny if he earned points selling crack, if they got that organized. But he had no idea. Now, Brady takes those people into his house, offers them a position at a restaurant for his friends. The one kid. Yeah, that one kid was at your house for four hours. You told him he could stay there if he needed to. He offered up bedrooms. He offered up. Just to a door.

[Eric]

No, it didn't get that far.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure, whatever. Jesus. All I'm saying is I asked him if. And then. So. But then I felt guilty.

[Eric]

He came back.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, he came back.

[Eric]

Well, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Eyeballed your house.

[Eric]

Turned him down on the steel, you know, and had some fun with him and left. He left. I said, man, you got. You could do such a better job at something else. And about two hours later, he came back and says, get me out of this thing.

[Brady Bogan]

You want my savior?

[Eric]

Get me out of here.

[Brady Bogan]

Fat Jesus, I need your help.

[Diana]

So would you hook them up with.

[Brady Bogan]

I did.

[Eric]

I said, you know what? If you. He was thinking about leaving the whole thing. Because they're either out of Detroit or somewhere, you know, they drive. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a scam. It's a slave ring, really.

[Eric]

It is a slave ring. Yeah, totally.

[Brady Bogan]

One dude in charge of like 30.

[Eric]

People who makes all the dough. He comes out with the, you know, just draped and the gold chains and the bling.

[Brady Bogan]

And you know what the bad thing.

[Eric]

Get back in the van.

[Brady Bogan]

I did my crack thing with this guy thinking, that's funny. He kind of got it, and I think it made him nervous. And then I ended up like, you know what? Yeah, I'll get the thing for you. So I ended up buying Baseball Digest for a kid's shelter. Cause I thought that would be. I didn't get it for myself. I know. That was nice. But then I realized I can't joke with these people, because then I'm on the hook. Cause if I throw my big zinger at him, that I wanted to buy crack from him, and then I started thinking, what if he tried to sell me crack? Then what do I do?

[Eric]

You gotta buy, I guess.

[Brady Bogan]

You buy it. And then you buy it, and then you. And then I call Sheriff Joe and it's a drug ring. And then Sheriff Joe and I are on the same team.

[Eric]

And then we. That's when we dare you to run through the junkyard and get chased by the. The watchdog.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. Cuz we are stand by me's cat.

[Eric]

Well, there's a commercial right now. You know the crystal meth?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric]

Now my friends dare me.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I know.

[Diana]

Can I be Jerry OConnell?

[Brady Bogan]

You are not Jerry O'Connell. You will be Corey Feldman.

[Diana]

Same name.

[Eric]

You will be Robert Downey Jr. Lesson zero.

[Brady Bogan]

And I will be the crack dealer. And action. Hit your knees, Junior. But. Yeah, so I figured that. But I mean, we got to do something about this, because this is no longer us. What if I went door to door? Hello. I used to be part of a gang. How are you? I was on crack. There's plenty of white crackheads. How come they haven't wandered door to door?

[Diana]

It's a good question.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a great question. Why don't white crackheads sell magazines door to door? There's more white crystal. There are. No, there's not. There's. It's never a white guy.

[Eric]

I have.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm calling. I think this is racial discrimination.

[Eric]

I've gotten it twice.

[Brady Bogan]

White guy selling you magazines.

[Eric]

I mean, granted, he's from the inner city. Yeah. Granted, he's a M and M. Vanilla Ice.

[Brady Bogan]

I never had a white kid do it. Every time I get it, it's a white kid going, I'm in Arcadia High and I need to sell 10 magazines so I can go to Paris for four months.

[Eric]

No. You know who it was? It was basically twice I've had. Even though you could say he's the token in that group. But it's basically Kay Fed coming up to your door. Yo, what up, G?

[Brady Bogan]

I've never had a white kid do it. It's always a black guy. And I always buy some.

[Eric]

But that's where the main programs are coming out of.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't care, Brady. Where are the white crackheads?

[Diana]

They're out there.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna be the Jesse Jackson of this thing.

[Eric]

Maybe they don't stop.

[Brady Bogan]

I want. I want the crackheads going door to door to start having more fair hiring practices and get a few white crackheads in there. It's racial discrimination that. That whole organization doesn't have one white guy.

[Diana]

Yeah, it's the guy running it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's probably true. It's the crooked bastard in the lead. They still need to hire more white crackheads because there's plenty of white crackheads out there. And I'm proud of all the crackheads for selling magazines. At least they're not out there doing crack.

[Eric]

It's a good skill to learn selling magazines. Well, yeah, to learn the skill of.

[Brady Bogan]

Selling, but it's more just get off my porch.

[Eric]

It's the toughest one, I think.

[Brady Bogan]

It's. It's. It's get off my porch.

[Eric]

And if you think about it, I'm saying it can be a good skill. But if you're. You're on crack and all of a sudden they. They say, oh, you get off crack, you stop doing it, and you get into this slave ring that they run.

[Brady Bogan]

Right. That's what it is.

[Eric]

And you're going door to door selling magazines. Which would you rather do? Go back on the crack? Yeah, absolutely.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. There's more money in there.

[Eric]

That's what the real world's like.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, this is what it's like.

[Eric]

And it's not.

[Brady Bogan]

And all these people are gonna be mean to me. I mean. Cause most of the time. And then you get all the people with no soliciting signs. I actually considered buying one of those. But then I think you're officially an old man when that happens.

[Diana]

Just don't answer the door.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, he saw me in the window.

[Eric]

So they're fun to talk to.

[Brady Bogan]

Then you're just a racist, Eric. No. Yes, you are.

[Diana]

He could have a gun. I'm not going out there.

[Brady Bogan]

My point exactly. Thank you very much.

[Diana]

I mean, couldn't I just say I get these little.

[Eric]

Answer the door with the white pillowcase over your head and take it off as ranch.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey.

[Eric]

Yeah, hang on. What's up, man?

[Brady Bogan]

Hold on. I was just getting ready to go somewhere. What am I gonna do for you?

[Diana]

The other day? Check this out.

[Brady Bogan]

That would be ultimately hilarious.

[Eric]

Blazing Saddles.

[Brady Bogan]

Saddles. Funny, but, I mean, you might get beat up, but it would be worth it. I think it's worth the joke.

[Diana]

I get these little girls come to my door with the candy cups. You know, the candy girls.

[Brady Bogan]

I answer that in a sheet, too.

[Diana]

So she comes to my door and it happens like, at least once a month.

[Eric]

That's when you put over.

[Diana]

Let's just say I'm. There's something on my TV that probably shouldn't be.

[Brady Bogan]

Porno.

[Eric]

Your. Your aunt's porn?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah, Family porn.

[Eric]

The one you stole.

[Diana]

I guess I had it up a little too loud, too. She starts knocking on the door, and I'm like, you know the panic mode. You go into the panic mode, shut her down. I didn't answer the door. I just sat there quietly hoping.

[Brady Bogan]

John holmberg's morning sickness.

[Larry McFeely]

The 98 KUPD college hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a beat the buzzer special featuring your choice of beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wing joint since 1983.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from amco.

[Eric]

And Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned.

[Brady Bogan]

On the AC in my car and.

[Eric]

The air's blowing kind of cool, but.

[Brady Bogan]

It really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air bl strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Eric]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Brady Bogan]

Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait.

[Eric]

That's awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll say. We're amco. Google amco for your nearest location. That's amco double a mco transmissions and a whole lot more. Homeburg's morning sickness. Want to know? Not that I'm a topper. Don't want to be a topper. But you know how my window works. When you walk up to my door, the front window goes.

[Eric]

You can see right in.

[Brady Bogan]

Totally forgot that was open. And it was nighttime, and I threw on. This is even worse. Cause you know my summer adventure, I had a few videos.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So I had one video of me getting it on till the break of dawn.

[Diana]

Wait a minute. You're watching yourself?

[Brady Bogan]

Hell, yes. Who's sexier to Johnny than Johnny? Nobody. So I'm watching this video.

[Diana]

Hopefully there was a woman in this.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It wasn't just me going, hello, big fella.

[Eric]

He was watching the video.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric]

He's watching the video that was in the background. Meanwhile, he said hanging a picture of himself up on the wall.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I wasn't watching for. You know, I wasn't reviewing Geneva.

[Eric]

He and the Open caller. Sure. Shooting the guns.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't. I wasn't reviewing game tape. I was watching for the girl.

[Diana]

Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Because she.

[Diana]

Did a good job.

[Brady Bogan]

She rides like a rattlesnake, this one. So this was back in like July and it was a good one. So I remember just throwing it in there, going, yeah, what the hell? So I dropped trowel and I'm watching this tape of me and it's on the 53 incher, which goes right out the window. And sure enough, when I get up, I look out and it's not dark, but it's dusk. I get up, I look out and there are 10 kids in the road on their razor scooters just going in circles, looking in the window, just like, wow, what's going on in there? And it's all night vision. Baghdad going on in my house.

[Eric]

You know, he'd get in trouble.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. I don't know that they.

[Diana]

Sex education.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't even know that they really. Well, you'd had to get, you know, in the house to really. But you.

[Eric]

I don't know if you knew it was in trouble. And the cars, you know, people are getting busted in the cars. Having them on the little mini. There were kids from.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah, you can't do that. There were kids from other neighborhoods. I don't know that you could make out exactly what was going on, but you knew. Knew what was happening. I mean, you couldn't really get.

[Eric]

They're probably going by on their scooters going, boy, that guy's into the nature channel. I'm tired of watching those hippos, mate.

[Brady Bogan]

I think he's. I think he's watching like something from Desert Storm. It's all green. Night visiony. What is that?

[Eric]

Is that an albino elephant?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. What is that, a tooth with a root? Oh my God, that's a butt. It's a guy's butt.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't see me. I'm very.

[Diana]

You're making Paris Hilton tapes.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Diana]

Night vision.

[Brady Bogan]

Denny Crane. Oh, yeah. You haven't made that.

[Eric]

Bob Crane.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Bob Crane.

[Diana]

I can afford a video camera.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got four of them on board. But you can't. I can't give you my night vision ones because those are in the walls. Oh yeah, yeah. I had those planted on the walls. Security. It's 6:15 in the morning. Sickness. Yes. The sheet idea is good for the crackheads. Cause you just know when you see. And you can see a black guy walking around with his pamphlets. Great. Ten minutes from now, he's gonna be banging on my door and I'm gonna have to buy boys life for a shelter again. And I feel okay about that. But do you ever interrupt him and just say, what do you want me to buy? What are you selling? Oh, yeah, I don't need your spiel. I'm sorry you had a tough go, but I was watching myself have sex a second ago and you interrupted that. So. Yeah. And it is a good idea to tape it and review the game tape, by the way, every once in. Go back, take a look, do a couple rewinds, coach yourself, see what you maybe have done wrong. See where you need some help body wise. You know, a lot of times you don't see that back fat, you know, on.

[Eric]

On her or you.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, or him. You pick her apart too. But while you're with her or him, Brady, you. You can see them. You can't see yourself. And there's certain noises you make that you want to kind of correct. Like for instance, I'll never do this again. That's out.

[Eric]

You didn't know that going into it.

[Brady Bogan]

That was about three minutes of that.

[Eric]

There's one I'll never stop.

[Brady Bogan]

Turn it to Adam Sandler. I like to do sex with you.

[Eric]

The one that drives him nuts. And I do it.

[Brady Bogan]

And then it's over. Yeah, good stuff. Answer with a sheet on your head. Brady Bogan. Suggestion of the day. Don't really do it. Don't listen to what we say. Holmberg's Morning Sickness 98 KUPD Another suggestion just came in the email. When those guys come to your door, the crackheads come to your door selling magazines. See if they have high times and try to send that to the inner city center. Yeah, I get a prescription of high times there for the inner cities. Who we going to first?

[Diana]

Go to two.

[Brady Bogan]

First line. Two is on there. Hello there. Who says hello? Hey, what's going on, man?

[Caller 1]

Hey, how you guys doing?

[Brady Bogan]

Doing well. What's up?

[Caller 1]

Not much. Yeah, when you guys are talking about those crackheads coming the door remind me of this time back in high school. One of my cousins were out back smoking out and we hear a doorbell wearing. We start freaking out, thinking it's his mom.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's turn off.

[Caller 1]

It's one of these little black guys, like, hey man, I'm rehabbed. I'm coming out from the inner city, trying to get some. He smoked the weed, smoking. He's like, hey, what's going on? I'm like, oh man, we're just hanging out. Hey, can I come in so we had this guy in. He was there for like an hour and a half smoking up all our stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait a minute. The crackhead selling magazines came in and smoked with you?

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And you let him?

[Caller 1]

Oh, heck yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

He's trying to rehab.

[Caller 1]

Oh, I know. But hey, you know what? We got to bring the dark side a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on now. Careful, careful. Gotta watch your mouth there. All right. You know, go smoke out. My friend Brady is 10 for 10 on predicting when somebody's going to cuss. Nice job, man. We'll talk to you later.

[Caller 1]

All right, See you later.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not. You know, if you're smoking weed, you don't invite the crackhead in.

[Diana]

Pothead's cussing.

[Brady Bogan]

The worst thing you want to do is get a crackhead knowing where the drugs are.

[Eric]

You know, you really gotta feel good about yourself. Getting someone back on something that has ruined their life.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh boy, now you've made them mad.

[Diana]

Well, you were quiet. You could have told.

[Brady Bogan]

Dude, look, your life wasn't going that great. And it still isn't if you're door to door magazine salesman.

[Eric]

You're trying.

[Brady Bogan]

That doesn't mean you're off the crack. In fact, I would need crack to go door to door selling magazine.

[Eric]

But it's working for him.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it?

[Eric]

Who bought yesterday?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I bought. Probably gave him 20 bucks. And he's probably smoking it right now, but.

[Eric]

Could be, but you never know.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't care. At least the kids get a magazine.

[Eric]

He can work his way up to manager. Get the bling. Or I can drive the van.

[Brady Bogan]

Even better if they come in and just go, man, I'm glad you're here. I've been working on some dope rhymes and then just start like.

[Eric]

There you go.

[Diana]

Little rap idol in your house.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody on line one also.

[Diana]

Yes, Somebody's online one.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello there. Who's this? Are you there?

[Brianne]

I sure am. This is Brianne.

[Brady Bogan]

Hi, Brianne. How are you?

[Brianne]

I'm doing great this morning. How you doing, John?

[Brady Bogan]

Welcome back. Thanks. Doing just fine. You're awfully happy today.

[Brianne]

What's that?

[Brady Bogan]

You're just awfully happy today.

[Brianne]

That's because I've had my coffee.

[Brady Bogan]

Good for you.

[Diana]

Apparently she's Fitz's lab assistant.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you're fit. You're the girl helping Fitz out.

[Brianne]

I am the lab assistant. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Now you're helping Fitz out. He's taking those. Those.

[Brianne]

Ejaculoid.

[Brady Bogan]

Ejaculoid. Which is a word I don't like saying. It's. It's. It's the male C word. It's just too technical. We don't like thinking of it in a science way. It's all about fun and making you leave. So he's taking this stuff and. And he's trying to figure out if it works or not. And you're helping him.

[Brianne]

Oh, and how are you guys helping him?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not helping him. You're helping him. Right. You're the one going.

[Brianne]

I'm like, no way.

[Brady Bogan]

You're the one going to the men's room trying to help him out, if you know what I mean.

[Brianne]

I see. I see. I mentioned this morning something about your feet.

[Brady Bogan]

My feet? I need somebody to fix my feet.

[Brianne]

Unfortunately, that will not be me. I don't do feet.

[Brady Bogan]

Why you'll do Fitz's junk and not my feet? You know where that's been?

[Brianne]

You know, I draw the line of feet, especially stinky feet.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then make it clean, and I'll make it worth your while.

[Brianne]

How are you gonna make it worth my while?

[Brady Bogan]

I'll. I'll give you a tongue bath.

[Brianne]

But I don't know if you heard, but I did tell Big Dick Toledo yesterday that I would help out Brady if he needed any kind of testing. Especially like maybe, I don't know, cheese testing.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, so you want to just eat a wheel of cheese with Brady? Gouda.

[Eric]

Gouda.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't understand that. But my feet smell like cheese.

[Brianne]

Nope. Gotta draw the line at feet.

[Eric]

I got your foot person.

[Brady Bogan]

Who?

[Eric]

The googs? He loves feet. Tom Googliotta.

[Brady Bogan]

That is true. Tom had a fetish with feet.

[Eric]

He cleaned him right up.

[Brady Bogan]

That's true. I get googs on it. Well, you won't help me. Well, good luck getting the mung off of your tongue in life. Messing around with fits.

[Brianne]

Well, as we say, for the love.

[Brady Bogan]

Of science, guess so. Well, good luck.

[Brianne]

Hey, thanks a lot. You have a good one.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll talk to you later.

[Brianne]

Later.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, she. If you're listening to Fitz in the afternoon, he said, got her helping him out. Trying to see if that stuff works.

[Diana]

Will help Brady and Fitz. But you're.

[Brady Bogan]

She won't touch my feet. That's how bad my feet are. And they've never been this bad. I literally stunk up the whole house yesterday. Even the crackhead was, like, tough, though. What is that smell in your house, man? It's my feet.

[Eric]

That's a deal breaker.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, stinky feet on a girl?

[Eric]

Yes. Oh, I never experienced or just, you know, hammered toes.

[Diana]

Hammered?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. If they've got ugly feet, you're kind of like because it's, it's a, it's like foreshadowing. If their toes and feet are bad, that is not a good sign.

[Eric]

If the nails aren't feet, if they're not looking polished or painted and they got yellow munched nails, toenails, that's, that's Eric.

[Brady Bogan]

Start looking Eric. It's true. It is important. Yeah. Don't get upset about that.

[Eric]

Most of the girls that he goes out can't see their feet.

[Brady Bogan]

Point being feet is a precursor of things to come. And if their feet aren't maintained, it just starts going up. Then their legs get all cheesy and then they get big bellies and then their faces turn into big pillows and.

[Eric]

You lose your remote. There's folds, there's change in the folds.

[Brady Bogan]

Watch their feet. That's part of your new 2006, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 98k u p.

[Diane Fisher]

T. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe marketplace off the 202emmeclintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.