BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - FRIDAY - March 14, 2025 - Debate Over If Hundred 80yos Could Beat Up Hundred 13yos - March 2024

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcasts - Friday, March 14, 2025

Host: Dan Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: March 14, 2025

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1. Introduction

In this standout episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" (HMS), hosted by Dan Holmberg, the team delves into two primary discussions: a provocative debate on whether 70-year-olds can outfight 13-year-olds, and a critical conversation on parenting strategies, particularly focusing on monitoring children's digital interactions. The episode promises an engaging blend of humor, controversy, and insightful commentary, characteristic of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

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2. Debate: Can 70-Year-Olds Beat 13-Year-Olds in Fights?

The core of the episode revolves around an unconventional and humorous debate: "If a hundred 70-year-olds could fight a hundred 13-year-olds, who would emerge victorious?" This topic sparks a lively exchange among the hosts, blending personal anecdotes with exaggerated scenarios for comedic effect.

Key Points of Discussion:

• Physical Capabilities vs. Youthful Energy:
  Dan Holmberg initiates the debate by questioning the outcome of such matchups, pondering over the physical strengths of both age groups.

  Dan Holmberg [00:41]: "Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness."

• Parental Perspectives:
  Brady Bogen chimes in with a playful assertion of respect for his father's (a 75-year-old) fighting prowess.

  Brady Bogen [01:31]: "Because I, my dad would still kick."

  Dan counters with a humorous critique of his co-host’s father's fighting abilities.

  Dan Holmberg [01:33]: "My dad can beat me up and he's 75. 76."
  Dan Holmberg [01:37]: "No, yours would lose the fight in a really bad way."

• Athleticism of Youth:
  The conversation shifts to the athleticism of 13-year-olds, with Dan highlighting the unpredictable nature of youth energy.

  Dan Holmberg [02:02]: "I'm putting it out of every 10 fights, three will be won by a 13 year old."

• Pop Culture References:
  References to celebrities like Sylvester Stallone and Larry David add a humorous layer to the debate.

  Dan Holmberg [03:04]: "At 70, like right now if you give me an athletic 13 year old and Put him up against John Gordon."

• Television Potential:
  The hosts speculate on turning this debate into a television show, envisioning endless matchups between the two age groups.

  Brady Bogen [04:32]: "That's the chive for me. That could be a 24 hour network."

Notable Quotes:

• Dan Holmberg [03:12]: "Larry would kick the living out of a 13 year old girl. There's no question."
• Brett Vesely [05:27]: "I'm going the girl."

Conclusion of Debate:
While the discussion is largely for entertainment, it underscores the unpredictability and humor in comparing vastly different age groups in hypothetical confrontations. The consensus leans towards the realization that both groups have their unique strengths, making the outcome highly variable and subject to comedic exaggeration.

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3. Parenting in the Digital Age: Monitoring Children's Phones

Transitioning from playful debates, the episode takes a serious turn as Dan Holmberg shares a sobering anecdote about parenting in the era of digital communication. The discussion emphasizes the importance of parents actively engaging with and monitoring their children's online interactions to curb negative behaviors.

Anecdote: The Birthday Party Catastrophe

Dan recounts an email from a listener, Gary, whose daughter experienced a failed birthday party due to her unkind behavior towards peers.

Dan Holmberg [09:55]: "We talked about that lady who posted her, her daughter's birthday party that nobody came to. This guy said it happened to us... She was creating body image problems."

Key Points of Discussion:

• Recognizing Toxic Behaviors:
  The hosts discuss the signs that indicate a child might be developing harmful behaviors, such as bullying and online harassment.

  Dan Holmberg [10:00]: "Evidently if she doesn't get her way. She will take to the phone immediately and attack the other kids with horrible texts telling them to kill themselves."

• Parental Responsibility:
  Emphasis is placed on the necessity for parents to take an active role in overseeing their children's digital communications to prevent and address such issues.

  Dan Holmberg [11:40]: "Take your kids phones and go through them immediately. None of your kids deserve privacy."

• Personal Anecdotes on Surveillance:
  Dan shares stories about his own upbringing, highlighting the effectiveness and intrusiveness of parental monitoring.

  Dan Holmberg [14:10]: "My grandma used to listen in on phone calls... But she wasn't wrong. Kids do not at all deserve privacy."

• Service Proposition:
  In a humorous twist, Dan proposes a fictional "kid consultancy" service for parents to outsource the task of monitoring their children's phones.

  Dan Holmberg [15:19]: "I want to start that kid consultancy where you're like, look, I don't even want to know what's in here. Go through my kid's phone for me."

Notable Quotes:

• Dan Holmberg [11:42]: "You need to do that because you'll find out this kind of stuff."
• Brett Vesely [15:47]: "You don't get taken out by a train."

Conclusion on Parenting:
The segment transitions from humor to a heartfelt discussion on the challenges of modern parenting, especially concerning digital safety and morality. The hosts advocate for vigilant supervision of children's online activities as a means to foster healthier interpersonal relationships and emotional well-being.

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4. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the importance of being proactive parents and the humorous yet serious balance between entertaining debates and meaningful life advice. The overarching message encourages listeners to engage deeply with their children's lives, ensuring a supportive and positive environment.

Dan Holmberg [16:10]: "And I charge like, you know, a hundred dollars. I put a nice package together, go through the whole phone and then put together my assessment... probably 70% of the population's intolerable."

The episode encapsulates the essence of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" by blending irreverent humor with pressing societal issues, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking for its diverse listener base.

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and are included to highlight significant moments within the episode.

Transcript

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[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns, your trusted source for firearms and Accessories [e-mail] the.

[Dan Holmberg]

Best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness. You and I, Brady, we belong in a place where we have the debate that's still raging my head from this morning of and we'll ask Brett this because Brett Brady and I had a good 10 minute chat about this morning. All right, who wins in a fight the majority of the time, 70 year old or 13 year old? Like you got. Let's say you get 170 year olds and 113 year olds. What's the final record at the end of the day?

[Brett]

And you can say you can go men versus boys.

[Dan Holmberg]

Well, yeah, well, that's what it would be.

[Brett]

Well, there's just saying in general, I'm saying.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm not saying you start tossing women in there, that's an easy win.

[Brady]

70 year old.

[Dan Holmberg]

You explain why?

[Brady]

Because I, my dad would still kick.

[Dan Holmberg]

That's what I said. My dad can beat me up and he's 75. 76.

[Brett]

Mine can't.

[Dan Holmberg]

No, yours would lose the fight in a really bad way. But then you got to start thinking about some of Those super athletic 13 year old kids and the one that, that got Britney Zamora and the, you know, like the ones who grew when they were 13 and could beat the hell out.

[Brady]

Whipping their crank out of the 13 year old might beat him.

[Dan Holmberg]

But you know, I'm putting it out of every 10 fights, three will be won by a 13 year old.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, I mean a clock's right twice a day no matter what.

[Dan Holmberg]

So I mean, you know, think of some 70 year olds like how many fights is Tripp gonna win?

[Brady]

A lot. He signs my checks.

[Dan Holmberg]

Well, no, he's gonna beat you up. Let's say Tripp gets out to a bus stop and a 13 year old and him have words.

[Brett]

That's, that's an even match.

[Dan Holmberg]

That's an even fight. You start thinking that some, some said like my dad and your dad, they could handle a 13 year old.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. That's my only, you know, consideration is just, you know, the 70 year old.

[Dan Holmberg]

I know I took my dad to that tactical black a couple years ago and couldn't believe how hard he was punching. And I'm like, I still don't want any part of this guy. So yeah, there's some. So There's a few 70 year olds just mopping the floors. But I think There's a few 13 year olds like Larry when Larry's 70. Oh, Larry, Larry. Be a struggle to knock a 13 year old around today because he's such a nice person and so like fragile, like he's a little guy. How many, how many is he start thinking of Larry at 70. Start thinking of smaller guys at 70. Yeah, they're going to lose because I.

[Brady]

Mean Stallone's 70, whatever.

[Dan Holmberg]

Right. He'd still kill a 13 year old. But then you got to think of like Larry David.

[Brett]

But it's one. Although right off the bat they could be killed. It's one bad punch. One.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah, one fall. It's a good debate. I'd say. I want to.

[Brady]

Never thought about that.

[Dan Holmberg]

I want this to work out.

[Brett]

It was thrown out there and the, out of that the survey, 65 took the 13 year.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah. Most people like took the 13 year old.

[Brady]

They don't know Kurt Vesli.

[Dan Holmberg]

They don't know Dan Holmberg. Do you think at 70 your dad would have mopped the floors with 13 year olds? Yeah, yeah. I do too. I think your dad might have had a little battle because I don't see him as much of a fighter.

[Brett]

He was so. Oh, he was just such a good athlete. That's probably the. You bring your lunch?

[Dan Holmberg]

Yes. Oh yeah. No, he, yeah, he's, he's gonna work.

[Brett]

But he's also wired similar to. Not a real violent guy. So whether or not I don't know how many fights he's ever been in, even growing up.

[Brady]

Yeah, but it's like funny you say that because now you think about the 70 year old Larry's or Shannon Mans or something like that. The John Gordon's.

[Dan Holmberg]

Exactly. He's little.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dan Holmberg]

At 70, like right now if you give me an athletic 13 year old and Put him up against John Gordon. I'm like this might be a battle.

[Brett]

So they're saying, you know, maybe it's not too far. They're saying three of the 70 year olds will win. Three out of the.

[Dan Holmberg]

I'm saying it's the other way we feel the. But I, I under. It's a good debate. And not only that an amazing television show that's just dying to happen.

[Brett]

We're like we gotta put these fights together.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah. Because I'm up there at Tactical Black they've got the Silver Sheepdog program. Some of those folks are in their 70s and 80s and they can do some work. But that's not to say 13 year olds can't. However 13 year olds are just dumb as stumps. So I see them. If you get, if you get in there with anybody who knows a little bit of something, they're gonna make a mistake. But like you said they're gonna be. They're gonna be wired to keep fighting. Where a 70 year olds gonna have maybe 15, 20 seconds of a street fight before it all starts gassing out.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dan Holmberg]

So the seven year old's gotta land fast. I want to see this happen. I want to watch this happen. Now the other side of the debate give me. And it's not even 13 year old girl versus 70 year old woman.

[Brett]

I'm going the girl.

[Dan Holmberg]

I'm taking the 13 year old girl all day long.

[Brady]

Yeah, I am too.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah. All day long. They're evil. And 70 year old women are. They have brittle bones and always cold. They're freezing.

[Brett]

Kirby at 13.

[Dan Holmberg]

Oh Jesus. Yeah. Well now we're starting to get into. Kirby beat up a seven year old man. Would you put Kirby up against 70 year old Larry? Do you think Kirby could beat up Larry? Do you think Kirby could beat up Larry right now?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I'm a brady on this one. I'm gonna. Let's break out the fanduel.

[Dan Holmberg]

I think Larry makes mincemeat of it. I think he's dicing her all over this building. I think Larry would shock you and he'd crush Kirby. He.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dan Holmberg]

I'm gonna stand up for Larry.

[Brett]

The psychological side of it.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Too is huge.

[Dan Holmberg]

I'll tell you right now. And this is me as a friend of Larry's for the last 25 years. Larry would kick the living out of a 13 year old girl. There's no question.

[Brett]

He trained more than. He started getting on that workout regime for a while.

[Dan Holmberg]

Oh yeah. He works out. But he's just a smaller guy. You gotta be Careful though. Those little guys can kick your ass. Yeah. No, I think Larry would absolutely just slaughter a teen girl. I think he'd crush one, but I don't. It would be. If Kirby wanted. If she had her mind straight and got into a good hold. Larry's gonna struggle. That's. I want to see that. I want to. Maybe at Youthfest we'll do that. Larry, we have an idea for, you know, between bands at you fest that you fight Brady's daughter real quick. She's in. We signed her. But will you. Why are you doing this? Larry, just fight Kirby, please. The crowd's gonna go crazy. And don't be afraid to land one. The kid can take a shot.

[Brett]

He would dominate her.

[Dan Holmberg]

You think?

[Brett]

Yeah. When it comes down to it.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Just because it'll pretty much be her.

[Dan Holmberg]

Are we talking.

[Brady]

Are we talking street fight or what are we talking here?

[Dan Holmberg]

Well, we can go.

[Brady]

We're talking wrestling.

[Dan Holmberg]

Look, you start getting into boxing or wrestling?

[Brady]

Wrestling. Wrestling. I got Kirby.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Month to prepare.

[Dan Holmberg]

Oh, geez. If you get him a training, four weeks of training, then I'm really going to go with the older person because kids don't retain anything. But those 70 and 80 year olds up there at the Silver Sheepdog thing, when they started that program, they're like, let's see. And these efforts are powerful. Like they're bridging people. There's an 80 year old woman that bridged a guy off of her from her back. Like whoa. Like that's. They're stronger than you think. But they're stronger than they think. They don't know how strong they are until you start telling them hey, you can do this. And they do stuff and they keep them safe. But 70 year old and a 13 year old is a television. That's the chive for me. That could be a 24 hour network. And I'd be like, when I'm bored, I'm like, let's check in on the 70 year olds and 13 year olds. Then you get 13 year old boys, the athletic side of it, eighth grade boys. And I've always said eighth. And you put a team of eighth grade all stars together and I could beat your NBA champion or WNBA champs with a. With a team of quality eight, 13 year old kids. Boys I destroy in a best of five, it would be a sweep. My eighth grade team would dominate the WNBA champs because of dunking and speed. It's gonna happen. Everybody hates hearing that from the girl side, but it's true. There's no way they can shoot but there's no way that a team of 14 year old boys would lose that unless you got a bunch of dummies. But that's just coaching. You gotta keep them in line. So that's not even a thought. So you give me a team of, you know, 13 year old all star basketball players versus just random 70 year olds, then it switches. But that's a pretty good debate. That's pretty. When does that tide turn? Is it 60? Because I'd still put a 60 year old, I'd kick in the living crap out of.

[Brett]

Because if you, if you would put it down to the other factor like by weight class, like yeah, a 13 year old kid that's the same statue of, you know, or the same stature of, you know, 140 pounds, whatever, then.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah, if you weight class like you put Larry's 140 against a 13 year old who's 140, that 13 year old that's 140, although more than likely is fat because he's American. But you know, still good battle. I don't know why that was entertaining to me to think about that. And then my brain started to put it together and I was actually watching some AI fights in my head. There they were, they were entertaining.

[Brett]

How about this? If we were talking about the exceptional 13 year old, but matches up to the exceptional 70 year old.

[Dan Holmberg]

Exceptional 70 year old all day, just, just time spent on the planet is going to win that one. And you got a bunch of dumb kids out there. So your kids are. And proof of it. I got this email, you know, yesterday. We talked about that lady who posted her, her daughter's birthday party that nobody came to. This guy said it happened to us. John, my daughter's 11th birthday party last year was a contest catastrophe. We invited 12 kids. One showed up and another one showed up late and constantly reminded us my parents are making me be here through that experience. My daughter was devastated, didn't understand it. So I got introspective. I asked a couple of the parents, hey, give it to me straight about my daughter. Why didn't your kid want to come? And I, I don't mind the truth. Evidently my wife and I are raising an absolute bitch. Mean girl. She seems super nice, but one check of her phone, which we never did, and we saw that she often ridiculed anybody of weight. Even the not so big girls took beatings for their body shape. She was creating body image problems. She made people feel terrible about themselves. And she has a real mouth on her. Evidently if she doesn't get her way. She will take to the phone immediately and attack the other kids with horrible texts telling them to kill themselves. Things like that horrible little girl. So we were raising an asshole and didn't even know it. So let me PSA this moment right here and say, take your kids phones and go through them immediately. None of your kids deserve privacy. This is so embarrassing. Hearing the story yesterday woke me up again, Gary. How about that? That is a good one. That is a good moment right now to just grab your kid's phone and go through it because you don't know if you're raising an absolute B hole or not. You go through Kirby's phone every once in a while. Just grab it and go, let's see what you're doing. Yeah, you do. Just read all our texts out loud over.

[Brett]

And she's, what's going on here? Who you talking to?

[Dan Holmberg]

Give me your phone. You never just do that. Give me it. And just scroll through all her texts. No, you need to do that because you'll find out this kind of stuff. And you also might see a wiener, and you don't want to see that. Gotta get. Yeah, look what Toledo had to deal with it. He had BBC on his son's phone, and his son was spreading it around. He was spreading the BBC everywhere. At age, like 15, 14. Hilarious for us as a parent. Just miserable that your kid is dabbling in the BBC porn and shooting it out to other kids. It makes him funny, but it also makes him the problem. Yeah, but that was what we were saying yesterday. If your kid has a birthday party and no one shows up, your kid's probably a dick. And you need to look at yourself, because most of the time, it's dicks that raise the dick. So it's you. You're the problem. Go through your kid's phone right now and then just shake it. I think most people don't do it because they act like, well, they deserve prep, but really, you don't want to see what they're deep down at all. My grandma used to listen in on phone calls. You could hear her pick up the phone and she would listen. And then later she said, I want to make sure you're not up to anything bad. She would watch us, like, for a week or something like that, and she would sit and listen on the phone. And when my grandma, my crazy grandma was living with us, just fumbling around on the phone, and I'd be like, izzy, I got it. My grandma. I'm on the phone. I can hear you. And then she'd lift you, like, hear the breath go away for a second, and it would slip back down. Izzy. So we'd do fake drug deals and stuff like that. Hey, do you have the cocaine and the heroin? The breathing would get heavier. She'd get more nervous. Who are you on the phone with, John? Nobody. Isabelle. I. I was not on the phone at all. I don't know why you would even. Don't lie. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. But she wasn't wrong. Kids do not at all deserve privacy. This guy says, yeah, of course you'd pick Larry in a Larry Kirby fight. You Jews stick together. All right, that's enough. Enough bashing of me and my faith that I don't follow. Yeah, I want to pick up your. I. I would like to be that service. I want to start that kid consultancy where you're like, look, I don't even want to know what's in here. Go through my kid's phone for me. Because it would be tough as a parent if you went through Kirby's phone and found wieners and stuff. You know, as a parent, you'd be.

[Brett]

Like, oh, no, I'd be really surprised.

[Dan Holmberg]

So. Yeah. Then again, yeah, but you hire me because you don't want that. And you certainly don't want to see that she's firing back, you know, like she's got a few shots of her and it's going the other way. Your kids are awful people. You're especially like you because you're. You're not paying any attention to horrible things she's probably doing. But that's the problem. You don't want to see.

[Brett]

I base it off of me growing up, right? Like, okay, there might be some. But I.

[Dan Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Hopefully.

[Dan Holmberg]

Hopefully. There's the word. That's the word. You're just hoping.

[Brett]

Discretion.

[Dan Holmberg]

That's right. You're hoping because you're not going through it.

[Brett]

We haven't hit class yet, John.

[Dan Holmberg]

You don't know that you haven't because you're not going through the thing.

[Brett]

Will it happen?

[Dan Holmberg]

Hire a guy like me to go through your kids phones and I'll be like, God, this should. You know. And I'd score them. I'd have a ranking system. Look, you got a pretty decent thing going on here. Two out of every ten texts were questionable. She's got some website issues. She's into some stuff, but you don't need to know that. That's still for her. So all in all, you got a good one. And I'll let you know if you're raising a B hole or if you got yourself something on the right track. That way you don't have to go through their phones and see.

[Brett]

I mean, if I went on there and I see she's looking at boneless Kenny Loggins, stuff like that.

[Dan Holmberg]

Yeah, no, that's fine. That's fun.

[Brady]

She's in her phone.

[Dan Holmberg]

Look. Yeah, Brady, that's. You're thinking of. You're thinking of the guilty things in your phone. Breastfeeding, the boneless Kenny logging. Yeah, yeah. You're thinking of, why do I have this in my phone? You're thinking of, if I died in a car wreck today, what would they find in my phone?

[Brett]

You don't get taken out by a train.

[Dan Holmberg]

We're not talking about you. Celebrate me home. We're talking about your daughter. And the worst thing in her phone probably isn't boneless Kenny Loggins or breastfeeding videos. Daddy has that problem. An adult. Yeah. I want to start that service. Give me your kid's phone and I'll go through and let you know whether or not you're raising a decent one or if there's something you need to pay attention to.

[Brady]

And as always, after a story like this.

[Dan Holmberg]

High five. High five. Birch. None of that. Cuz no parent wants to look like I gotta. What Gary did was admirable. He's like, this isn't. This is something wrong with our kid that nobody came to the birthday party. Not. You can't have 12 kids, be no shows and blame all 12 of them. Unless they all lived. Unless you're inviting the Duggars over to your kid's birthday party and you don't, nobody, then it's just one family. But if it's 12 independent kids from 12 different houses and none of them showed up to your kid's party, your kids, something's wrong with your kid. And so many parents like, oh, how awful that the other kids were so mean and they didn't show. No, no, no. There's something wrong with your kid. And he went through her phone and found out. I thought she was little Angel. And she's horrible. She's mean. And that's the other thing. Some of them have those text muscles. They might be nice to your face, but they get on that keyboard. And they're trolls. I can find that for you. The Holmberg. Your kid's probably an asshole. Text consultancy would start right now. And I charge like, you know, a hundred dollars. I put a nice package together, go through the whole phone and then put together my assessment, my report, like a private investigator, and I would love to knock on the door and go, well, you're raising an asshole. Like what? Yep, yep, yep. Like Jim Jeffries said, you know, probably 70% of the population's intolerable. And then if you. If you say to a crowd of people, raise your hand if you think you're a jerk. You're not gonna get anybody's hands up most of the time, but that's statistically impossible. So many jerks out there. Arizona's most powerful rocking station. It's out of control now. 98, can you PD.