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Dick Toledo
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Brady Bogan
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns at the corner of 12th street and Indian School in Phoenix. All they show with none of the fluff.
Mo Bergeron
Let's get started.
Brady Bogan
There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. It's time now for your Guadalupe squares with an international woman herself.
Mo Bergeron
It's Mo Bergeron, everyone.
Joe Biden
Thank you, Chancellor. In the top left square, our president is back, Joe Biden.
Dick Toledo
Turn on the mic.
Joe Biden
Turn on the microphone.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, y. My speech lessons. Watching.
Joe Biden
What?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, it's your speech.
Joe Biden
Okay, Take a breath. Read the teleprompter.
Brady Bogan
Oh, good. Hello, homo. What?
Joe Biden
No, it's.
Mo Bergeron
It's.
Joe Biden
Hello, Mo.
Brady Bogan
Homo.
Joe Biden
No, look. What?
Brady Bogan
Listen.
Joe Biden
Yes, folks. What?
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah. Did a great job last night.
Joe Biden
Turn your mic on. You did it again, Joe.
Caitlyn Jenner
Okay.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah. What? Yo. What? Joe, you have pizza Me.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, that was.
Brady Bogan
I was waiting for a piece of me. I'll take you down.
Joe Biden
You're going to take someone down. I feel like you're going to go down before that even happens.
Dick Toledo
Homo homeowner.
Joe Biden
Homo homeowners.
Brady Bogan
Homeowners.
Joe Biden
Is that what you're trying to say?
Brady Bogan
Give everybody money. All right, I'm f. I basically turned the presidency into a big radio station. Can I get some money? 9th caller gets a mortgage.
Joe Biden
I love it.
Brady Bogan
Everybody's going to win. Watch my speech.
Joe Biden
I did not.
Brady Bogan
Very good speech. I'm from a different time.
Joe Biden
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Forget about microphones.
Joe Biden
Okay? Turn the microphone back on. You doing anything nice for Dr. Jill?
Dick Toledo
Okay, Dr. Joe.
Brady Bogan
International Women's Day.
Joe Biden
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Joe Biden
And Kamala. I mean, yeah.
Caitlyn Jenner
Come on.
Brady Bogan
Gonna get her an International Powerful Women. Probably an iron.
Joe Biden
No. Okay, well, give her a nice iron. They might appreciate it.
Brady Bogan
Vacuum.
Joe Biden
You're gonna vacuum?
Brady Bogan
No, I'm gonna get him one.
Joe Biden
Oh, a Dyson.
Brady Bogan
You're a Dyson or a Kirby.
Joe Biden
There you go. No, that's a different thing.
Brady Bogan
Happy International Women's Day. Now get to work.
Joe Biden
Okay, moving on to the top middle Square here. The 65th birthday of Kato Kaelin. It's O.J.
Brady Bogan
Hello there. Exforming the ass Twitter world. Hey, you didn't know who Kato Kaelin was?
Joe Biden
You know, I didn't. I didn't. I was like six when this happened.
Brady Bogan
That dumb surfer got me out of a murder charge with his terrible testimony. He had a glove. He didn't. It bonked into his house. Whatever. We got McDonald's. It was fine. So we're gonna celebrate the 65th and Happy International Woman's Day. I love all women international. Otherwise, in fact, I like international or national replaceable or, you know, interchangeable part. Woman. I like that, too. I just like women in general. Just, you know, the ladies. But Cato and I are gonna go out and we trace our steps for international Cut a woman in half day.
Joe Biden
No cut.
Brady Bogan
By the way, I'd like to start my new. I'm gonna cut to the chase. We're gonna get to this. I'm going to Vegas. I'm gonna start a magic show where I cut women in half. We're gonna be up on stage at the Mirage, and I'm gonna be chopping bitches in two. But then I'm gonna get away with it. Cause it's magic. That's what I was doing.
Joe Biden
And then do you just escape in a Bronco again? Like, what happens here?
Brady Bogan
Well, yeah, we gotta. It's sponsored by Ford, the Bronco. And of course we need women, boss. We need women to make more men to slice up more women. Look at it. Slice them all up. It's a delicious cycle. We need women to slice more women up. It's so. It's God's little joke, but I'm just saying. Yeah. Cause without women, you can't make to kill more women. It's the end of cycle. Elton John sang about it.
Joe Biden
No, he did not.
Brady Bogan
The circle of Caught the Bitch in Half.
Joe Biden
No, they did not sing that song. All right, moving on.
Brady Bogan
That's what I was singing. I'm gonna sing it at my show in Vegas.
Joe Biden
All right.
Brady Bogan
OJ's Magical Music Tour.
Joe Biden
All right, moving on to the top right square. He loves women. It's Donald Trump.
Mo Bergeron
I love him. I grab an international woman right by the puss every International Women's Day. Bolivian.
Joe Biden
Bolivian.
Mo Bergeron
I like those. I like the Russians. My favorite country. Bulgaria. Some people call it Bulgaria.
Joe Biden
Nobody's calling it that.
Mo Bergeron
I call it Bulgaria. And I like that. That's nice. Did you watch Joe Biden's old man on the lawn speech last night? Shouting at all of us about everything that he's done wrong. It's our fault. Bad guy, not a good guy. But I'll tell you this. Come over here. Let me grab you by the. Let me grab that international thing. How about all the coughing? The coughing last night, every few seconds, Joe hacked out a little more Covid. The Crypt Keeper barely stayed alive during the speech. It was pretty amazing. There he was, just up there with all the coughing. Don't shake his hand. He'll catch the China flu. He's friends with Xi Jinping. It's all part of his plan. China flu heading your way. Thanks to the president. He's in on it. But there he was, coughing and yelling and coughing and yelling. I think he was just like a prostitute who didn't get paid. Just choking to death and shouting for his cash. That's all he was doing.
Joe Biden
So strange. Let's move. On the middle left square, we have the Oscars. Which? I'm not sure. All of them. All of them.
Brady Bogan
There we go.
Joe Biden
Oh, no.
Gene Simmons
Whenever you talk about the Oscars, there's only one thing to really talk about. Don't you agree?
Joe Biden
I agree.
Gene Simmons
I think it's pretty obvious what you talk about when the Oscars like your favorite movie. Gremlins 2.
Joe Biden
That is a really good movie.
Gene Simmons
Or Howard the Duck, as we all know.
Joe Biden
Love that one.
Gene Simmons
Standing in my house telling me what your favorite movie is. If it's a woman, the answer comes out wrong. Very few women think Godfather's the greatest movie of all time, which is why you get paid less.
Joe Biden
This is true.
Gene Simmons
You just don't have any good reasons.
Joe Biden
I gotta ask. What was your favorite movie this last year?
Gene Simmons
Step Brothers. That was I just saw for the first time. That's hilarious.
Caitlyn Jenner
Okay.
Joe Biden
Touche.
Brady Bogan
My God. That's amazing. Favorite movie ever is Stepbrothers.
Joe Biden
Whoa.
Brady Bogan
I was nominated for Academy Award once.
Joe Biden
I didn't know you guys were hanging out.
Brady Bogan
We're not, but he summoned me with the powers of Marlon Brando.
Joe Biden
He must have hit that drum set.
Brady Bogan
He was touching my Marlon Brando. You touched my drum set.
Gene Simmons
I will never touch a drum set. I rubbed my nuts on your drums.
Brady Bogan
I'm gonna kick your ass, Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando's in the news. Because I used to bang Rita Moreno.
Gene Simmons
Esther used to knock that international woman sideways on a regular basis. She left me because she found a pair of underpants in my bedroom. That didn't belong to her. Little did she know they were mine.
Brady Bogan
Marlon used to travel around port to port. Oh, my God, every time that he. He'd produce a quirt.
Gene Simmons
Oh, it's very funny. Anyway, Godfather's gonna win again this year. Cause nobody saw the drivel. It was on the coulda.
Brady Bogan
Sweep.
Gene Simmons
Sweep again. Just put Godfather up every year until it loses.
Brady Bogan
Yes.
Gene Simmons
How about that? Last year's best picture. Oh, it's still the best picture 50 years later. Hasn't been one better. Except maybe if you ask Mo, the butterfly effect two, obviously. Second one, and whatever this freak show homo nightmare salt bomb is.
Joe Biden
What?
Gene Simmons
Yeah, Skywalker rolls his dick out. Nobody needs to see that.
Joe Biden
It was a little erotic.
Gene Simmons
Was it even for you, a lesbian? You wanted to see the weens.
Joe Biden
Well, you know, I'm just curious what he's doing in the dirt, that's all.
Gene Simmons
I didn't see it. I'm not a homosexual.
Joe Biden
Have you ever licked up bathwater before?
Brady Bogan
Whoa, licked water.
Gene Simmons
Of course I have.
Joe Biden
What?
Gene Simmons
I've licked up bathwater. Who hasn't? I like that Bobby movie. At least the first 10 minutes. Until I got tired of looking at her gams. All the yabbing. God, Bobby this, Bobby that. Give me some murders. Give me some story. That's what I need. All right, Happy Oscars weekend, everybody.
Joe Biden
All right, moving on to the middle square. He's a fart sprayer.
Brady Bogan
Raffle.
Joe Biden
It's.
Brady Bogan
Whoa.
Joe Biden
Raffles. Radolph Pogan.
Caitlyn Jenner
Radolph Bogan is here.
Joe Biden
What are you doing?
Caitlyn Jenner
You learned earlier this week that I used to buy my gas at a Jokester owned by the Jews. Jokes on you Jews. I bought my morning breeze.
Brady Bogan
The morning Breeze.
Joe Biden
I've never facepalmed, which smells like fox.
Caitlyn Jenner
And you spray it into a room and you run away because you've gassed the room. Like Rudolph Bogan.
Joe Biden
I feel like you're just a human sprayer.
Caitlyn Jenner
Then earlier this week, I brought up my new good friend.
Joe Biden
Who?
Brady Bogan
Herbie Haller.
Caitlyn Jenner
Herbie Haller, Jew?
Joe Biden
Why does that matter?
Caitlyn Jenner
Because in Upper Arlington, Ohio, that is how you identify the non white.
Joe Biden
How did they identify you?
Caitlyn Jenner
Brady Bogan up Arlington resident. Okay, he on the Jokester Yudin's. That was a sign outside.
Dick Toledo
At least when you say Euden, though, you just shouted.
Caitlyn Jenner
No, no, no. It was on the window. They were always washing your accent.
Joe Biden
What happened to your accent?
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh, yeah, I have oath. I am Greydolph Bogan and I love Fox Play. I will gas you with it.
Joe Biden
No, we're good.
Caitlyn Jenner
Braedolf.
Joe Biden
All right, I have my mouth open.
Caitlyn Jenner
Das morning priest.
Joe Biden
That's. All right. Let's move on to the right middle square. Gene Simmons is here.
Brady Bogan
Exactly right. Gene Simmons is here and saving the day. Indeed. I was on the show earlier this week. I thought I did great. It was the best interview I ever heard. Thank you, Brady. You're very beautiful. Man. No.
Joe Biden
Oh, well, that's abrupt. So he needs a father figure. I mean, you could do that for him.
Brady Bogan
Yes, he does. And it's too late. He's been feminist.
Joe Biden
I'm still piped.
Brady Bogan
I wouldn't raise him $10,000 if he wants me to be his father for a weekend. I'll do one potato sack race and I'll have a meal with you for $10,000.
Joe Biden
And how much does it cost?
Dick Toledo
A meal?
Brady Bogan
25 minutes maximum. And I won't be attending the entire meal. I'll just. I'll just admit that I was ordering with.
Joe Biden
And how much does it cost for you to play catch with them?
Brady Bogan
With what? Baseball of some sort? No, What'd you think?
Joe Biden
I was talking.
Brady Bogan
That's another $5,000 for Gene Simmons, too. And you provide the weaponry. Okay, I have to also take a break because it is my wife Shannon Tweed's birthday this weekend.
Joe Biden
Oh, happy birthday.
Brady Bogan
And I'm a man from Israel, and so we like to do some work on the Strip, if you know what I mean. And I'm going to be bombing her Brazilian strip all weekend long.
Joe Biden
All right, you're done. Let's move on.
Brady Bogan
There'll be nothing left. Every tunnel will be blown free.
Joe Biden
Okay, bottom left, square. It's Brady. Secret square. Give us a hint.
Brady Bogan
What's up, everyone? I'm 84 years old.
Dick Toledo
I'm an actor.
Brady Bogan
I'm still a lone wolf. Let me tell you a little fun fact about myself. My tears cure cancer.
Joe Biden
Okay?
Brady Bogan
Too bad I never cry. Lone wolf. I get it now.
Joe Biden
I get it.
Brady Bogan
Took me a minute, too.
Joe Biden
All right, moving on.
Brady Bogan
And technically, kind of a world champion in baseball last year. What were you missing in action?
Mo Bergeron
You'll work on it.
Brady Bogan
You'll see.
Joe Biden
All right, bottom, middle. Here to celebrate International Women's Day, it's our Caitlyn Jenner.
Caitlyn Jenner
Hey, happy Women's Day, everybody. Hi, Lee. How's your vags?
Joe Biden
Oh, it's great. How's your heart?
Brady Bogan
Great. I just had it puffed.
Joe Biden
I think it snapped at me.
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh, my God, it's so tight, you can't help it. Snaps back. It's like a little Venus fly trap, only less rare.
Joe Biden
Came back at me.
Caitlyn Jenner
Wanna see it? It's great stuff.
Joe Biden
I'm good.
Caitlyn Jenner
Anybody hungry for Arby's on Women's Day? We'll go add the horsey sauce in the middle.
Brady Bogan
I'm just kidding around. God damn it.
Joe Biden
Why does it look like the sandworm from?
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh, because it's. It used to be one. It's an inverted sandworm. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
It's supposed to have those feelers on it.
Joe Biden
Yeah. Where'd the feelers come from?
Caitlyn Jenner
Let's not fall into the typical pits that women fall into. And what's that On International Women's Day, where we start fighting in front of the guys?
Joe Biden
Oh, we not. That's what it was. It's like we fight to the death.
Caitlyn Jenner
You're being a complete to me.
Joe Biden
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Caitlyn Jenner
Yeah.
Joe Biden
My middle name.
Caitlyn Jenner
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Okay. God damn it.
Caitlyn Jenner
We'll have rosebuds and chocolate all weekend long. You ever had a rose, Bud?
Joe Biden
You're gonna celebrate alone.
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh, no, I'm not.
Joe Biden
Okay.
Caitlyn Jenner
Happy International Women's Day from the international woman of choice, me, Caitlin. 6, 4, 2, 25 and completely normal woman.
Dick Toledo
How come you keep going up and down in that seat?
Caitlyn Jenner
What are you talking about? Oh, I'm a little heavy for the seat. It's not holding me up.
Brady Bogan
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Joe Biden
All right, moving on to the bottom right square. Also here to celebrate International Women's Day. It's our Lord and Savior.
Brady Bogan
I gotta tell you, I celebrate International Women's day more before 9am than anyone else. Oh, man, have I been celebrating women this month.
Joe Biden
Do I want to know how you're celebrating women?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I'll tell you exactly how it is.
Dick Toledo
Same way you do Mo.
Joe Biden
Is it by giving them raises?
Brady Bogan
No. Well, not that kind of rain. If I gotta give you a raise, I gotta give all the guys raises. 30% higher. I was celebrating women this morning. One that said, stunning Spaniard, passionately pounded. I celebrated the hell out of that thing.
Joe Biden
Oh, wow.
Brady Bogan
Did you hit.
Dick Toledo
Skip that.
Brady Bogan
Oh, skip at.
Joe Biden
Turn down the volume.
Brady Bogan
In fact, my solemn tribute to the beautiful ladies of the world. I'm going to celebrate 69 of you today. That's right. Oh, yeah.
Joe Biden
Brady liked that joke.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, well, you know he would.
Joe Biden
All right, let's get on with the show. Who's on the phone?
Brady Bogan
Christina and Andrew. Christina, are you there? I am here. Andrew, are you there? Yes, Chancellor. All right, Christina, pick a square. Go. Let's do Caitlyn Jenner.
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh. It's International Women's Day and we're all sticking together. Sisters are doing it for themselves.
Brady Bogan
What? Anyway, clear your throat.
Caitlyn Jenner
What are you doing today, Christina, for International Women's Day?
Joe Biden
Just working. Honestly, that's all I'm doing.
Caitlyn Jenner
You know what's really bad? It's almost misogynistic. I'm gonna clean the house today, if you can believe it, for International Women's Day. My balls on the shelf got so dusty, I thought it was about time. I keep my balls in the house.
Joe Biden
All right, getting to your.
Caitlyn Jenner
I use them as a swiffer. I stretch the old skin around the swiffer and stuff it in those little holes.
Brady Bogan
The wet jet.
Caitlyn Jenner
Ah, Wet jet it a little bit.
Joe Biden
No.
Caitlyn Jenner
Yeah.
Joe Biden
No.
Caitlyn Jenner
And then the balls. Pick it. Right.
Joe Biden
Wait, hold on. Throw some fabuloso on there.
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh, it's International Women's Day, isn't it? Almost turned me into Tony Roll. Oh, here we go, Jim.
Joe Biden
Okay, okay. Spending 20 minutes with pets has the same effect of anti depression drugs.
Caitlyn Jenner
I don't know anything about antidepressant drugs. I've never been depressed.
Joe Biden
Good for you.
Caitlyn Jenner
Something depressed me. I just cut it off. I don't even deal with it anymore.
Joe Biden
This is depressing. But children.
Caitlyn Jenner
Yep. Kids bother me. Cut it off. Relationship. Just cut it off. Dick. Get rid of it.
Joe Biden
Get rid of it.
Caitlyn Jenner
I looked at my dick the same way Toledo's dad looked at his. Get rid of it. Thanks.
Brady Bogan
I'm proud of it.
Joe Biden
All right, I got it. All right, your question. Spending 20 minutes.
Caitlyn Jenner
Ow, ow, ow. Just shattered one of my labia. Oh, God, that hurts.
Joe Biden
Why is your labia.
Caitlyn Jenner
I swear, I think they might have left the nut in.
Brady Bogan
Quit wearing boxers.
Caitlyn Jenner
I gotta stop wearing these boxers.
Dick Toledo
The open fly just.
Caitlyn Jenner
How do you deal with it, Mo?
Joe Biden
I don't wear boxers.
Caitlyn Jenner
Sometimes the thing looks like bitter beer face.
Joe Biden
Oh, my God.
Caitlyn Jenner
Christina, does yours ever look like bitter beer face? And you gotta move one over the other? It looks like it's overlapping itself.
Joe Biden
Oh, my God. Just answer the question.
Caitlyn Jenner
Happy International.
Joe Biden
Yeah, yeah.
Caitlyn Jenner
No, we all suffer the same stuff, sister.
Joe Biden
All right. Spending 20 minutes with pets has the same effect of antidepressant drugs. Is that true or false?
Caitlyn Jenner
One time I put on girls underwear and I was like, my God, the thing looks like it's chowing down on it. Get back in there, you two.
Joe Biden
My God. Was it?
Caitlyn Jenner
Yeah, it looked like a hostage with its mouth touched.
Joe Biden
Oh, my God, we've all been there.
Caitlyn Jenner
Yeah. Felt like I was like in Iran in 1980. I'll say. That's true. Pets are nice.
Joe Biden
All right, he's saying true or she's saying true? Do you agree or disagree? My apologies, Caitlin. I agree. That is correct. X kiss the square. Andrew, pick a Square. Nobody but O.J.
Brady Bogan
Hey, look at that, the juice. Hey, you know what's funny? Caitlyn Jenner and I are the same woman. Kris Jenner.
Joe Biden
Like, Eskimo brothers and sisters.
Brady Bogan
I made kids with her, too. Like, I had that big Chloe beast. That's mine, clearly. Look at her face. There's no doubt. And then he made two beautiful girls. Well, actually, two beautiful girls. And then he made one real ugly one out of himself. I'm glad I wasn't married to her. I'd have killed her the first day.
Joe Biden
Okay, rj, the average amount.
Brady Bogan
Hey, Bruce, I'm not changing it, okay?
Joe Biden
The average amount of time a woman can keep.
Brady Bogan
I just sat on my ball.
Joe Biden
Wait, wait.
Brady Bogan
He's on my ball.
Caitlyn Jenner
Give those back to me. How did you get them?
Brady Bogan
I saw someone else's ball.
Joe Biden
Okay, I got the question.
Brady Bogan
Hey. Oh, my pants.
Joe Biden
No. Oh, my God. Say it in your box like Starbucks. Okay. The average. The average amount of time a woman can keep a secret is 94 hours. What is happening?
Brady Bogan
Hey, I'd like to welcome. I love being on Homburg show because.
Joe Biden
Okay.
Brady Bogan
I'm a fan of the Jews. I'll go to the Jews. I'm tired of the Jews. Me, too, Juice. Thank you very much.
Joe Biden
Don't talk to Brady.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
You.
Joe Biden
He's piped down on this radar.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I walked in with and I heard people in the. In the parking lot screaming, ain't you Jews? Mark. I'm sorry, Gene, that wasn't. That's exactly what happened. But I think he might be misunderstanding. No, they were screaming, die, Jews, die. Gene, how do you live like this? Gene, this has to be brutal.
Mo Bergeron
Oh, God.
Brady Bogan
But it's good to have a couple of Jews here.
Joe Biden
I just want you to answer the question.
Brady Bogan
By the way, Oscars are this weekend. Is Knives out nominated again?
Joe Biden
No.
Brady Bogan
I don't know. I want to see that again. I'll say that. That's true. A woman can't keep a secret. Well, actually, I know a woman that's keeping a secret for a real long time. She hasn't said a peep.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, but the average.
Brady Bogan
We see, she's bringing up the curve. It's been 30 years, the bitch hasn't said a word.
Joe Biden
All right, he's saying, true women can keep a secret for 94 hours.
Brady Bogan
Probably say that's true.
Joe Biden
Do you agree or disagree?
Brady Bogan
I disagree.
Joe Biden
Correct. It is false. Circulates a Square. It's actually $47. All right, Christina.
Brady Bogan
I know one. I know how to make him quiet. I'll tell you a secret that will. You'll take it to the grave.
Joe Biden
All right, Christina, go ahead and pick a square.
Brady Bogan
Let's do Donald Trump.
Mo Bergeron
Choice. See that, Joe? See that, Sleepy Joe? Between the two of us, both available. The woman voted for me. She chose my square. Great job, Christina. Are you gonna vote for me or Sleepy Joe? He probably won't be alive. It's an unfair question. Thank you very much, Christina. That's one to nothing.
Joe Biden
Gotta send her a pair of shoes.
Mo Bergeron
All right, moving some hair. Trumps.
Joe Biden
What? No.
Brady Bogan
That's right.
Mo Bergeron
That's right.
Joe Biden
No.
Mo Bergeron
At the International Women's Day.
Joe Biden
During World War I, England trained seagulls to find German subs. Is that true or untrue?
Mo Bergeron
During World War I, England trained seagulls to find subs.
Joe Biden
German subs.
Mo Bergeron
A flock of seagulls. I modeled my hair after a lead singer from A Flock of Seagulls a long time ago. Good hair. Great hair. Still holds up.
Dick Toledo
It's history.
Mo Bergeron
That might be the dumbest question a woman's ever asked me. And I've been asked a lot of dumb questions by a lot of dumb women. How in the world would a seagull know where a submarine was? You would train a dolphin. At least I would. And let me say that if I'm president, I'm training the dolphins to find the German submarines we never found in World War I or 2. But currently, I'll say that's false. Seagulls can't see underwater.
Joe Biden
Okay. All right. He's saying false. Do you agree or disagree?
Mo Bergeron
I know things about birds.
Joe Biden
I agree. Incorrect. It's true. Circle gets the square. Andrew, you could take Biden for the win.
Brady Bogan
Let's go with Biden, I guess, before.
Mo Bergeron
We get to him, because he hasn't heard his name yet and somebody has. Snap on the shoulder. I'd just like to say, when I said German subs, Brady went crazy and started to pour sauerkraut all over himself. I don't know what happened there, but that was weird.
Joe Biden
Biden, come back this way.
Dick Toledo
Microphone.
Brady Bogan
Turn on the microphone.
Joe Biden
Man.
Dick Toledo
You're pissed off.
Brady Bogan
My wife's all stuck.
Joe Biden
Turn on the microphone.
Brady Bogan
Whistle stop tour. Whistle stop. Whistle stop.
Dick Toledo
Whistle stop.
Brady Bogan
Back of a train. That's how people get around. Back of an Amtrak. Got the dynamic Doing a thing of government.
Mo Bergeron
What?
Dick Toledo
And how you got to school.
Brady Bogan
There's gonna be a winner. What?
Joe Biden
I don't know the joke.
Brady Bogan
Why does nobody care? Charge our banks Some people know I'm still alive. Nice, man. I want to say how bad I feel about Lincoln Riley. He's still the coach. Still like Riley R. USC.
Joe Biden
All right, Biden. You ready for your question in $2022?
Caitlyn Jenner
Oh.
Brady Bogan
I think I wrote the question.
Joe Biden
I think you did.
Brady Bogan
Let me do this. I feel like I'm getting what you $2022 charge. Fogor. Millions. Seven. Seven million dollars.
Joe Biden
True.
Brady Bogan
False.
Joe Biden
Answer.
Brady Bogan
Mo, answer the question. You answer it.
Joe Biden
I'm not.
Brady Bogan
Answer.
Joe Biden
Finance.
Brady Bogan
Right. Answer.
Joe Biden
Yes. What?
Brady Bogan
You heard me.
Joe Biden
I didn't.
Brady Bogan
$2022 charge up make $20 million.
Joe Biden
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Huge savings, huge saving. I don't have something. But imagine because you made that money, America going to get $70 billion. Because. True.
Joe Biden
Okay, go with it. I'm just. We're going with it. We don't even know the question. In 2022, cheap bills, dollars. Charlie Chaplin silent film mortgage. The Gold rush grossed over 70 million in 1925.
Brady Bogan
Border.
Joe Biden
False. You would know. You were there. You saw it.
Brady Bogan
1925, I hope.
Dick Toledo
How much was popcorn then?
Brady Bogan
Six.
Joe Biden
Cat hairs. Oh, cat hairs.
Brady Bogan
We didn't have currency. Pluck cats for her.
Joe Biden
Oh, my God.
Mo Bergeron
I like to pluck a cat now and again. Grab a little pussy hair for my movie ticket. That's what I do, I guess.
Brady Bogan
Disgusting. Butter chips. These are words I found out yesterday.
Joe Biden
Wow.
Brady Bogan
Butter chips. Cole?
Joe Biden
No.
Brady Bogan
You want a Snickers? Yeah. I told a story about Snickers last night. My true.
Joe Biden
All right.
Brady Bogan
Spec are satisfied.
Joe Biden
No. Are you answering the question?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. True.
Joe Biden
All right. He's saying true. Do you agree or disagree?
Brady Bogan
I'm gonna agree.
Joe Biden
That is correct. So this is square.
Brady Bogan
Tired of Chipflation.
Joe Biden
Chipflation.
Brady Bogan
He won. Got my vote. Chipflation. I was talking to Brady Bogan. Brady's of the world Blaze chip manufacturers in their half a bag of chips putting an end to it. Same bag, less chips. Think if I'm joking. Patience. Real half a bag, full price. No putting an end to it. How?
Caitlyn Jenner
Adding chips.
Brady Bogan
Computer chips in every bag. I don't think. Stealing chips from billionaires. Yeah, Taking billionaires chips and putting them in a lay's bag.
Dick Toledo
Still not a good idea.
Brady Bogan
I get a dental plan. Shouldn't be eating a lot of computer chips.
Joe Biden
Erica Estrada for chips.
Brady Bogan
He left.
Joe Biden
Oh, dang.
Brady Bogan
He's gone. You missed him. He's out. We're done with you. Okay.
Mo Bergeron
Well done, Mo.
Joe Biden
Thanks.
Brady Bogan
Happy International Women's Day. You're Mexican And a woman.
Joe Biden
Wow.
Brady Bogan
And you're with another person of color who's a woman in your home.
Caitlyn Jenner
Look at that.
Brady Bogan
Look at all.
Joe Biden
We're progressive in our household.
Dick Toledo
Nobody bought boxes, checked.
Brady Bogan
So many boxes being looked at.
Joe Biden
Our dog also a woman.
Brady Bogan
Is that right?
Joe Biden
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
You've got a good one. It's out of control now, pd.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - FRIDAY - March 14, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Mo Bergeron
Special Guests: Joe Biden (impersonator), Caitlyn Jenner, Gene Simmons
Release Date: March 14, 2025
Overview
In this standout episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS), Arizona's premier morning radio show, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and Mo Bergeron, deliver an electrifying blend of humor, celebrity banter, and provocative discussions. Highlighting special guests like a Joe Biden impersonator, Caitlyn Jenner, and Gene Simmons, the episode is a whirlwind of entertainment designed to captivate and amuse listeners from start to finish.
Key Segments
Guadalupe Squares Game
The episode kicks off with the Guadalupe Squares segment, a recurring feature where hosts engage in playful contests and discussions. This edition is particularly memorable due to the eclectic mix of guests and the humorous interactions that ensue.
Celebrity Interactions
Joe Biden Impersonator: An energetic Joe Biden impersonator joins the show, engaging in a series of comedic exchanges with the hosts. From attempting to deliver speeches to humorous banter about mic control, his presence adds a layer of satire and humor.
Caitlyn Jenner: Caitlyn Jenner joins the discussion, bringing her unique perspective to topics like International Women's Day. Her candid and humorous remarks create a lively dynamic with the hosts.
Gene Simmons: The legendary musician Gene Simmons dives into a humorous debate about the Oscars, showcasing his sharp wit and engaging personality.
International Women's Day Celebrations
A significant portion of the episode centers around celebrating International Women's Day. The hosts and guests exchange humorous and sometimes provocative remarks, reflecting on the day's significance while keeping the atmosphere light and entertaining.
Q&A and Listener Participation
Interactive segments feature callers Christina and Andrew, who participate in the Guadalupe Squares game by selecting various topics and answering true or false questions. The dynamic between the callers and hosts is filled with humor and banter, adding to the episode's lively spirit.
Humorous Debates and Banter
Throughout the episode, hosts engage in witty debates on diverse topics ranging from movie preferences to historical facts, often intertwining humor with light-hearted insults and playful teasing.
Notable Highlights and Quotes
On Presidential Speeches:
Brady Bogan [02:00]: "Everybody's going to win. Watch my speech."
Joe Biden Impersonator [02:01]: "I did not."
On Oscars and Movies:
Gene Simmons [05:44]: "Whenever you talk about the Oscars, there's only one thing to really talk about. Don't you agree?"
Brady Bogan [06:19]: "Step Brothers. That was I just saw for the first time. That's hilarious."
Celebrating International Women's Day:
Caitlyn Jenner [11:37]: "Hey, happy Women's Day, everybody. Hi, Lee. How's your vags?"
Humorous Claims and Debates:
Brady Bogan [11:03]: "What's up, everyone? I'm 84 years old."
Brady Bogan [16:06]: "I gotta stop wearing these boxers."
Tone and Themes
The episode maintains a high-energy, comedic tone throughout, characterized by rapid-fire jokes, humorous exchanges, and celebrity impersonations. The interactions often push boundaries, blending satire with playful mockery, which is a hallmark of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Themes revolve around pop culture, celebrity antics, and light-hearted takes on current events, all delivered with the show's signature irreverence.
Conclusion
This "Best of HMS" episode encapsulates the essence of Holmberg's Morning Sickness—a blend of humor, celebrity charm, and engaging banter. With memorable segments like the Guadalupe Squares, entertaining interactions with guests like Caitlyn Jenner and Gene Simmons, and lively celebrations of International Women's Day, the show offers a compelling and entertaining experience. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode promises laughter and memorable moments that highlight why Arizona tunes in to 98 KUPD each morning.