← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - FRIDAY - March 14, 2025 - Name The Asshole Game - Feb 2016
00:16:33
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Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text Next Step to War 2. You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns at the corner of 12th street and Indian School in Phoenix. I'm sorry, do I know you? There's more of the best of Homebrew's morning sickness. This segment is brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out online@actionrideshop.com or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern. It's Action Ride Shop. Oh, this is terrible. Wow, that's terrible. I tells you, it's 8:38. Boy, reading these stories these boys have written, I'm not sure we can bring John Travolta in this. There might be too much. I don't think we need him. I don't think we need him at this point. John's gonna stand outside. You mean I came down here all the way down here to see you guys and be insanely gay for you, and now you don't need me anymore at all? Let's just say that it was something I should have thought of before I actually agreed to come down to the show. You could be our legal counsel on the side if we help. Did you watch it? No. You didn't see it, Dr. Brady. It's weird. Like, there's the normal John Travolta where he's just. That's why I couldn't. I saw a couple previews. This is a really amped up, super version of John Travolta that's very excited about everything that's happening. It's weird. And his hands are Always like gay. He's doing really super gay. He came out of the closet last night, I think on tv. I remember Shapiro doing interviews and he seemed very lawyerly. Yeah, I remember him being very straightforward. Like, here's how things are gonna be strong about it. Very, very. I don't remember Shapiro being flitty and enamored with Hollywood. Maybe he was behind the scenes. Juice, Juice. It's time we went outside for a little while and chatted. Like, what's happening to John Travolta in that clown makeup? Put your hands down. Anyway, it is time. Now. You got the music? Do you have any good music for us? Toledo? Toledo's got a theme song for this. He's not that way. I think he did commercials for Legal Zoo too. That was. Was that Shapiro? I think it was. I think it was. I think you're right. It was Robert Shapiro. Yeah, I don't remember him. He was very sound and. Yeah, legal counsel. What is this, the theme tip? Oh, it's the Guy. Talk about assholes. Guy Fieri's former. Oh, brilliant. Guy Fieri and his terrible show. And a stupid hat they used to have. I remember they used to have hot girls on this. Then they'd be rolling the toilet paper. You'd watch them just because the chicks were hot, right? Yeah, they did have good looking girls in like tank tops and big cans. And they'd make them balance stuff on their chest for like a minute. Guy wasn't interested. You know the one good thing. I'll find the silver lining. After sensitivity training issue. The one good thing Guy Fieri did was was create a culture of identifiable douchebags. The minute someone bought one of those visors with Fieri hat in them, you knew never to deal with that human being again. Unless of course, they were 90 or a child. Just like Crocs. I can't believe you're giving him the credit for that. Oh, completely giving him. It had fire on it and that terrible flat top. That was Guy's thing. And maybe he didn't invent the hat. Brady. He just went for the look. No, he was the look. Then the hat people went for it with the fire. If you worship firearm trendy. And he brought back bracelets. Yeah, everybody had loaded with silver. Yeah, douchebaggery was identifiable thanks to Guy Fieri. If you were dressed similarly to Guy Fieri, I knew you were a douchebag. And it might have been before Guy, but he embraced it. And if you didn't dump it the second you first saw Guy Fieri on tv. Diners driving to dine. Yum, the burger. Meat tastes like burger and the bun is bready. It's all burgers, asshole. Really? Taste the onions. Cause there's onions in it. What are you doing now? Deep frying the french fries. Whoa, out of bounds, power town. What? Making fries and a burger, you insufferable ass. Get out of my kitchen. I'm gonna eat something now. Chewing is hard work. You're an idiot. All right. Restaurants are like eat away. Bringing more business. My place. Oh, no. I understood why people did it. But I wanted. I would have kicked them out and closed my doors. Fear they ever came back. All right, so we've got people on the line here. The game is definitely due to our sensitivity training. I will choose a story just randomly out of my pile of stories written all four members of the Morning Sickness. That's Brady, Toledo, Eric and myself. John, for those who are just tuning in. And stories that we're ashamed of from our past where we would definitely be considered either criminal or just maybe emotionally criminal assholes and things we've never really told the truth about. Or maybe we've told it and we feel kind of bad. It's kind of weighing on our conscience. So we're opening up today and you have to name that. Name three asshole stories correctly. You associate the story with the proper asshole and you will get yourself supercross tickets. We got coyotes tickets I think are in there as well. We got those. Also NHRA Nitro spring training tickets. You get to choose just for naming that asshole. And we've got Sean on the line. Sean, are you there? Yep. Sean, are you a long time listener? Yeah. All right, Sean, this definitely will help because I've been an open book and a few of these stories have been on the air. Eric, I believe also Brady, you're the one that might shock us all. You might have a couple. Might have told a couple. Yeah, Toledo. No one knows anything about you. I barely remember your name on a daily basis. So whenever the story comes up and it's. You will be surprised. Alright, first story in name badasshole. I once stole lumber from a neighbor's yard to build myself a fort in the backyard. The cops came and scared the crap out of me. John, who do you think did that, Don? Me? Incorrect. Incorrect. I would have had my parents with jobs buy me a fort. No, that was me. Eric was that asshole. I've seen. Kind of tame, didn't it? Yeah. Do you feel bad about that? I was easing into that. Yeah. I got a lot of Trouble. They had security for our town come out and talk to me. All right. Sorry about that. You missed your first one shot, and our fort really sucked. It wasn't very. Of course it did. You were. Children building things. You're all morons. Paul is online. Paul, are you there? Yeah. All right. Paul, are you a longtime listener? Yes. All right, so you might know some of these. All right, let's see what we've got here. This asshole pretended to accidentally spill a drink, a hot drink, on a guy in a wheelchair because the guy was being a jerk, teasing the asshole's clothing. The asshole couldn't fight back, so he intentionally. Slash, accidentally poured hot coffee on him. An asshole, I would say. Eric. Incorrect. That one is me. I did that at Tony Roman's. Way worse than the last. I did that at Tony Roma's once when a guy in a wheelchair was making fun of my shabby outfit. And I got tired of it, so I spilled hot coffee on his useless legs. Your outfit? No, he wasn't that bad. I would have poured it on his computer then and just rendered him useless completely. All right. Sorry about that, Paul. Nice try. Paul's out. Let's go to Grayson. Grayson as a champion, if I recall, Grayson is the king of disgusting videos. The video champ. Grayson, you know our tendencies. You possibly could. Yeah, I'm on the younger side, so I haven't listened for as long as most people, but. All right, you might have picked up a couple of these stories. Let's try this one here. I'm getting a story here, though. Wow. I got a lot of stories. A lot of stories. Boys, what's going on around confession time? My God. All right, pouring out. Don't make me your shrink now. Here we go. In his 20s, this asshole once pissed in a friend's closet after a long night of drinking and tried to blame it on the girl he'd brought home with him. The friend had to take money out of the deposit for the apartment to clean up the message. I'm gonna go with Big Dick Toledo. Big Dick Toledo is correct. He is the asshole who urinated on somebody else's stuff. I'm proud of you for that one. That's a good one, Toledo. Yeah, that's good. All right, story number two. We're on a roll. I took a class in college. Or this asshole took a class in college that my friends had all the tests for. I got an A in the class and attended only a couple of days for tests only. I'm gonna go with Bogan Brady. Bogan is Correct. Amazing. For the win. Grayson. This asshole once flattened a co worker's tires because if the co worker was late one more time, he'd get fired and this asshole would get a better job. That has to be Eric. Incorrect. That's me again. Come on. You know, Furthering his career. I did not know me for more money. I knew where the guy lived. Who was this person? I can't say who it was, but I do know we were both up for the same assistant manager's position at Tony Romas. He had a little tardiness problem, so me and my friend Grant flattened his tire. Based career training at Tony Romas. That's a great place. Sorry about that, Grayson. You were very close to naming the proper assholes. Man, that is awful. A rough one. That is so bad. Nothing, man. A couple of these other ones I've been writing. I'm. I need a shrink. Brandon, are you there? Yes, sir. Are you ready, Brandon? Yeah. This asshole got a bloody nose all over the second girl he ever had sex with and left the scene of the crime while she slept, never to contact her again. Wow. Oh, geez. Homeward. Incorrect. I would never. I would have sat back and blamed her for having a bad period. I would have never taken her blame for that. Nice try. No, it's Toledo. That's a Toledo. Sorry. Sorry about that, Brandon. It's got all sorts of leaking going on. Well, that makes sense. All those medical conditions. That's true. Josh is online too. Josh, are you there? Yes. All right. Good luck, Josh. What are you here to play? I don't know what the game is. How about just when I say, what are you here to do? Just say, I'm gonna name some assholes. I'm gonna name some assholes. All right, here we go. Our first time playing in third grade, this asshole hid Todd Beck's giant stack of new lunch tickets. Probably about $40 worth. Because Todd didn't give him a valentine and he beat him in a game of around the World later. That's gotta be Homeburg. Incorrect. What do I want a valentine from Todd Beck for? Lunch tickets. Why would I have lunch tickets? I don't know. I had my lunches catered. Yeah, why would anyone tell that story? Toledo had to have. Toledo's the kid with the government cheese lunch early man crush. Yeah, what was that about? Todd's gay. Andy didn't give you a valentine. That's double insulting. You were mad. He wasn't even attracted to you when he was figuring it out. Why would you be mad about Josh? Nice. Nice try. Sorry about that. Why would you be upset that a boy didn't give you a Valentine's? Third grade. It was a transition year. They wanted everybody to love him. I like name this asshole. Sadly, this game can only be played, like, once. Unless we keep. We have to amp up our. We'll figure it out. Teemo is there. Are you there, sir? Yeah, I'm here. Is it Timo or Teemo? Timo. Timo. All right. You ready, Timo? Yeah, I'm here. A place that this asshole worked was going out of business when this asshole was 18 and he didn't have much money, so he thought it would be a good idea to steal as much beer and alcohol as possible before the place shut down. A bottle here, a case there. Before the asshole knew it, I had a house full of liquor. Then the asshole had a huge party and charged people to get in. I'm going to say Eric. Eric is correct. It's alcohol related. Yeah, good deduction. Now, if it was a big apple juice store that was going out of business. All right, here we go. I gotta go this way. In this asshole's senior year, he helped steal the popular senior girl's panties so we could display them in a glass showcase in the middle of the high school main concourse. I would say Toledo. Toledo is incorrect. Ready for this? That's Brady. Brady. Brady stole a girl's panties and displayed them. Probably got five pairs. And then they. They put them in the. The showcase. And they had little notes on. Of whose panties? Yes. Now that is bullying right there. That poor girl. Sorry about that, Timo. You are? Thanks. He was enjoying the crap out of that picture. And Brady thumbing through some girl's underpants drawer. Hurry up. Yeah. So sweet. You crushed that girl. That's terrible. More than one, I bet. Wow. Mario, are you there? Yes, I am. Are you ready, Mario? Yes, I. Yes, I am. All right, here we go. What are you here to do? Name some assholes. That's right. One time, this asshole put a pile of leaves in the middle of the road, which covered a board with nails on it. And then watched an old woman run over it and giving her a flat tire. Oh, man, that sounds so much like you. It could be. Also, Eric, I think it was you. Incorrect again. Brady. No way. That's Brady, fourth grade. We used to make giant piles of leaves. Unbelievable. And we'd hide in the piles of leaves on the side of the road before they. And we're putting stuff in the streets for cars to run over because we thought that Was hilarious. Oh, my God. Puts this board in there, lady runs over. What was that? Did you ever get caught? Nope. Nope. Till now. You know, we should just change this game to confession Wednesday. We read one or two stories and you have to guess which one one it is because I. Now that reminds me of another thing I used to do. But it never flat anyone's tires. Well, it had to. I. I didn't. The tire wasn't flat at the time, but I'm like, there's no way. Sorry, Mario. She ran over it. I'm trying to. We'll go live here. Hi there. Who's this? Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. A woman. Intuition can play a part here. You're supposedly good with this, right? I've got a few. Right, Brady. Surprising. And Brady will shock you. All right, here we go. This was going to buy his girlfriend a television for her birthday. And when the asshole told a friend of his plan, the friend said, I can get you a deal. Always up for a deal. This asshole got the TV for $80, when normally it was about 600 bucks. Well, it turns out the TV was stolen and the person who fenced it was the friend. Weeks later, the TV needed to be returned as the original thief was coming clean. So this asshole broke into his own girlfriend's apartment, stole the television, and she blamed the roommate. A 15 year friendship died. The asshole never said a word. Toledo. Toledo is incorrect. Sneaky Pete. Me again. That's a john. One devious man. Grant stole TVs? I didn't know. Sorry. Wonder Woman. And his brother was stealing them and he was fencing him. And so we offered. I didn't know it was stolen at first. And then I got it and I set it up at her apartment. Like, how about this, huh? Nice television. And then he wanted him back because his brother was coming clean with some sort of AA thing. So I busted in there because I had an ability to get in. I took the tv and she blamed her roommate. She's like, only thing's missing is the tv. Well, who would just come in and steal the tv? I'm like, yeah, sabotage. She knows something. I bet you it was her stupid boyfriend. They ended up not being roommates or friends at all. What I'm learning from this game is that any one of our lives could have really gone sideways. But you've changed. No, not really. I'd do it again. I'm not going to jail for any stolen television. We all could have been in so much. I was going to get implicated in that if I didn't get the TV back. It's out of control now.