← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - FRIDAY - March 14, 2025 - Website Lists Coconut Rule And Others For Ladies - March 2024
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Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to. You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by Mo Money Pawn, Arizona's largest pawn shop for over 35 years. Hey, you're listening to the Best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I haven't been in it for a while, but that's okay. There's just a lot of great stuff that happens here with John and the crew in the morning. But if you do like some of my stuff. Frank Caleando, by the way. Hey folks, John Madden here. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. You're tired of the pugs. I get it. Back to the Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness. The best of. Did I say that? I don't know. I didn't pay att. I don't know. Same. That same website had a little story. This wasn't a video. A story called the Coconut Rule. And they have a list of what men can sin. This is like a time for reality, ladies. This is what a man wants from a woman. Like you guys keep saying what you want us to be. Here's what we want. A good woman will lose weight after pregnancy. This is a list. I didn't put this together. This is the list put together. I agree. Right. A good woman has a low body count, dresses modestly. Like doesn't flaunt, it doesn't flash, doesn't dress. Like a. Right pretty basic one here. Oh, size dress must be a size 12 or lower. Yeah, that's. That's reasonable, right? Absolutely. Waist to hip ratio can be no bigger than 0.7. Now I don't know, I don't know how to measure that out but like you know, you can't have a crazy difference waist to hip. Although that is thing. No unaddressed trauma. That's a good one. Balanced PH levels means their skin is good and hair is nice. Reasonably sized forehead. Yeah, you don't want a five. You don't Want a five. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Doesn't necessarily have to do it all the time, but can cook and clean. Wow. No stretch marks. And is a very open to labioplasty. Are you sure you didn't write this? I have that. I wouldn't want that. Look, if I meet a girl number seven on the list. If I meet a girl who needs labioplasty, it's off. That's a top tenner. Has low iron levels. I don't know why that would be something we're concerned about, but it's on the list. Want them pale. Can spell coconut with her waist. Now, that's a sex thing that I've never even thought about. But, ladies, next time you're on your guy, try that. Grind out the word coconut. Yeah. Think about how awesome that might be. Oh, all right. She can spell coconut with her waist. Now, I don't know if you put her to the test before any sort of sexual activity. Just have her stand in the parking lot and do it. She'd look a little crazy. Not a feminist and not moody during her periods. This is one that you'd think that I did write this. Doesn't believe in star signs. You starting to talk my language. But I think it's just appealing to all men. Doesn't nag, but is a good communicator. Accepts her body hair, which is a thing that I'm not sure. Yeah. I think that means more just in the center area. Like she. She embraces it. Doesn't necessarily grow it out like it's crazy, but like 70s type. No, no 70s. And that's too much of an acceptance of that. But understands it's there and does stuff with it. I think that just basically means. Maintains. Understands that it's part of it. Yeah. Get rid of it. Well, the thing about that. And I agree with that. But back in the days when that first started. If you were ever. You should know an Italian girl can't get rid of it. It's like Homer Simpson's beard. She can shave it. An hour later, it'll be a little bit of a sideburn. It's like kissing an uncle. If they made Roundup, I'd. Right. Oh, yeah. No, you could do some weed removal. Sure. But then the. Then they wax. And an Italian woman or a woman like that. We just keep using them as the example. Has like a breakout because of it. Because you're pulling out some serious redwood spikes in there. You know, Understand your situation. Not all of you are built for the Tear down the wood floors. Some of you need a nice throw rug. Some of you have some Berber. Occasionally, the ladies with the shaggy have to recognize that that's more like a lawn. And you got to mow it down a little bit. You can't get rid of it because that wrecks everything. But spell coconut with your waist. That was an interesting one. And do it while singing My Coconuts, and you might really have something great. It was a Reddit thing that got crazy, and then it turned into a real deal. The low blood iron thing was the biggest one. I don't. Where is. That's, like, out of the blue. That's weird. Lady commented, I had low iron levels and I fainted a lot due to that. I don't know why a man would expect that. Well, maybe Nathan Sutherland was interviewed. Yeah, this. Another guy added one. He said, on a first date, is it reasonable to ask, how are your areolas? Yes. The answer is yes. Do you have obscenely large areolas? Because we could stop here if that's the case. That is a deal breaker. Big giant areolas are a deal breaker. You got the whistle going. That was you. That made my ear tingle. That's Brady. Oh, yeah. You have it. It's. It's. We had one on Friday. You don't hear it. It's only occasional, but without the music in the background, you'll hear it. Trust me, it's there. I got to keep an eye on it. I'll get emails from everybody, then they listen without the background music. Sorry. And no nose whistles from ladies as well. Maybe you cleared it in the one pop, but it was there. It made my tooth hurt. Gave me a zinger. But yeah. So that's it, ladies. That's what we have. And ladies put together those lists for men. You know, there's nothing wrong with that. We'd like to know. I think if a lady list came out about us, the things we could do what we want. Okay. I like that. We're always getting that. Go to therapy and have your therapist tell you it's all about a man doing everything wrong and what a woman really wants. We never get our side hurt. Morning sickness. Can you PD Homburg's morning sickness. You're so stupid. If we ever said that to you in a couples therapy session, you guys would kill us. Well, that's stupid. You want me to want to take out the trash? That's dumb. Nobody wants. Nobody wants to do it. But I want you to want to. Oh, Christ. You want me to Lie to you is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. So that's what you learn. Okay. I have to act like I'm doing what she wants, even though I hate it, because we have to sit back and eat that garbage. But when we say, I want you to be able to spell coconut with your waist, you argue. Why is that so important? I don't know why you care about. Why is it so bad? Is that all you want from me? Yeah. Are we in a safe place? Are we in a safe place right now? Yeah. It's really your only job. You keep up with that, you're gonna have a happy camper. Otherwise, you're gonna mopey weirdo wandering around the house all the time, spill coconut with your waste. Not so bad. That's reasonable. And be open to labiaplasty. Did you know you have to be the one that admits that a guy can't tell you, you know what you need? Could you imagine trying to go home and tell your wife that? Yeah, I've been noticing some stuff. And here's some pamphlets. I picked them up today at the urgent care. Man, that's not a. What would Brady do? I. How do I tell my wife she needs labiaplasty? You don't. You tell your wife you're moving on. I think she's got to be open to it. That's all an open discussion. I've been noticing a lot of excess skin on your. Yeah, that Holly Bach has those sugar lips. Speaking of. I don't know how to put it to you. I don't know what to tell you, but that Big Montana's starting to poke out a little bit. A lot of. Could be a skin cap. A swim cap on me, right? Yeah. If we were going swimming, I would actually. If you were in bed and there was a ski cap thing or whatever that is for your hat, and it was laying next to your exposed vagina, I might grab the wrong thing and start tugging, like. Hang on. Oh, that's the shower cap. The wrong one. What are you saying? I'm saying we should maybe just be open to labiaplasty. Here, I'm gonna turn the fan on, and you tell me if we need labiaplasty or not. All right, Ready? All right. It's up to you. It's up to you. I just want you to be open. This is a good question. Do you have areolas the size of lily pads? Wow. I'm sorry, ladies, if you've got giant areola, but that is something we have to get over. Same with men. If a man has giant areola, it's weird. Dude with pepperoni sitting on his chest. Noticeable way too large. Like with Dr. Evil had that white shirt on and everybody laughed because his areolas were huge. So consider it labyoplasty. Spell coconut with your hips. That's a big one. I don't understand the low iron. I think it just keeps them sedated a little bit. They're a little bit weak. They're a little weird. I guess high iron makes it kind of aggressive. Low iron isn't necessarily bad, but like, really low iron is. But if you have a little bit like, you can't have high iron levels because I guess you get like too much aggression, I guess. Is that what it is? I assume you'd be too energetic and probably just annoying. You talk a lot. Oh, screw that. Yeah. Low iron and the hip ratio. Waist to hip ratio. That's. That's one. Kind of like, I don't. 0.7 seems very. It's a tight. It's a tight grab. Well, no, that doesn't. That's not your. That's not your hips, though. Your ass is different than your hips. You can have a nice ass, tiny hip. It's just that. It's just it can't go from like you're. I think what they're trying to say is your stomach can't exceed it. Then you start getting into bigger than your head. Waist. Yeah, well, yeah, that's what I mean. So it's like that has to be. That has to be at least even for the most part with hopefully a little bit of a turn. Because you can have a great athletic butt and a hip waist ratio. That isn't that much. Yeah, I mean, fastback. Why are we even putting a list out if she's got a fast. That's number one. Don't pass go. I don't care if you can spell coconut with your waist at all. I wonder how many ladies are in their house right now whipping their hips around a little bit, going, C O, C O, N, capital N. Or I want it in all caps. The only one that. The T changing. That's a big. That's a strong fish. If you're left handed, you're gonna start with a cross and then drop down the center. That's pretty good, too. Spell coconut with your hips. Give that a try. Get back to me, all you people about to start off your Monday with a little action. Tell your wife, hey, spell with your hips. I read about this and see if she gets anything out. Co. Yeah, and capital N. Capital N on there. Trying to picture how cool that might look. And if you're really good at it, do it in cursive. Wow. Holly Baka. Do it. She's got sugar lips. You have it going. I thought you played something. The other thing. All right. 7:19. Let's get a wake up song, shall we, ladies? This is just a list. I didn't put it together, but it's time we all ended. The star and every guy in the history of guys that's worth his. Oh. Oh. Ian Schwartz has said if there's a lot of iron, that means she's a guzzler. Thank you. That's from a news person, so we know it's true. She needs more iron. Now I get it. It's my job to give it to her. These people who put lists together are jerks. Thanks, Ian. That's brilliant. I like that a lot anyway. Or like Scott Haynes says, low iron means it's easily accessible for a shorter girl to iron your clothes. The low iron. I see what we're doing there. Oh, okay. Keep the iron on the lower so she doesn't have to ask you to help her get it. It's on the top shelf. Oh, I'm sorry. Gotta keep that low iron. Now I get it. Either that or it's guzzler. We want both of the low irons. It's out of control now. 98 to you, PD.