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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.
Brady
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Eric
And.
Brady
And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core institute dot com.
Tim
Chew and poop. That's all they do. That's all they're good for. Chewing and pooping.
Diane
The best of Homeburg's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio.
Brady
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Diane
It's been a very Hollywood day.
Eric
Yes, it has.
Diane
David Faustino, Jason Muse, Danny Trio. The girl, the. The girl that didn't talk. I felt bad for her.
Eric
She's Pretty.
Diane
She's the one that. If she came in here by herself. Exactly. That's all. That's all we're left. She's purty. We're just a bunch of hillbillies. That pretty girl stood there real quiet, like the whole time I looked at.
Eric
Her and I said, hi. And I said, dang, Miss America, I'm.
Toledo
Gonna marry you, black woman. You're purty.
Diane
But yeah, watch, she'll blow up.
Tim
She'll be like the next Nicole Kidman or something.
Diane
That'd be great just based on her performance here. You think? Yeah, could be. It's time for the entertainment. Drill Brady Entertainment.
Eric
On Wednesday, the U.S. bankruptcy judge voided Robert Blake's bid for Chapter 11. He got denied, so he's on the hook for the 30 million dollar payback.
Diane
Oh, he's got to pay it.
Eric
Pay the family. Yeah.
Diane
Does Beretta have 30 million bones?
Eric
Well, evidently he's got some cash because they wouldn't turn.
Diane
Shaking his head. Oh, yeah, Brett is gone. You think so?
Tim
How do you know? What do you hang out with Robert Blake?
Eric
He claimed his total assets were $500,000 the max.
Diane
Tim, turn. You just sit there and keep your eye on the sparrow. Okay, Before.
Tim
Before he was here, he was Robert Blake's intern.
Diane
A few people got that, but you.
Eric
Know, maybe he's making that kind of coin being a stable boy. Right now Barry Bonds is suing the two authors who detailed the steroid use in their new book, Game of Shadows. But he's not suing them for libel. He's suing them because they obtained documents that were confidential. His testimony, the grand jury. So he's not suing them about the actual.
Diane
I have a. I have a book I'm doing with my grandma, and we talked to her earlier about how Barry Bonds is on steroids and he goes back to Africa to start a missionary and. Yeah, missionary, yeah, I don't know. But the hospital, I'm not real sure what my grandma was up to there. I don't know. But either way, my book is called that Lying Filthy. Barry Bonds is on Steroids. He can sue me if he wants, but when you're, you know, 35 and 180 pounds and 40 and 290 pounds and you can climb buildings and stuff.
Eric
But his point to the lawsuit is on this is he wants the profits to go to, you know, him, basically.
Tim
Of course he does. Because he doesn't have enough money.
Diane
No, exactly. Well, he is selling the book.
Eric
Exactly.
Diane
If it wasn't for him, that book has no chance. But that's why my book Lying, Filthy, Dirty, Greasy Barry Bonzes on Steroids should go through the roof. Just based on the.
Tim
I think so.
Diane
It's 400 pages of my opinion why I think Barry Bonds is on steroids.
Eric
Well, Barry is gonna actually talk about steroids. He's got that reality show that's gonna run on ESPN April 4th and.
Diane
Which is being nice.
Eric
He didn't want to talk about it, but the producer says I'm not gonna be able to air this thing unless you address it.
Diane
What's the point?
Tim
Yeah, the thing is, if he didn't do it, why isn't he suing these guys for slander?
Diane
I don't know.
Tim
You sue him for.
Eric
Then you're saying he's just talking about. These guys are basically profiting off of him.
Tim
Right. But that's. The lawsuit has nothing to do with the slander. You know it. He's not saying they're wrong.
Eric
Which.
Tim
Yeah.
Eric
Movies this weekend. Inside Man. That's a Spike Lee film that was gonna suck.
Diane
But that thing is getting great reviews. You know what? Jody Foster and Denzel Washington about the bank heist. Oh, it looks.
Eric
This is not a bank heist.
Tim
Must be Dog Day Afternoon. Ish.
Diane
Yeah, but Jodie Foster actually looks pretty in it, which is shocking because there's.
Eric
Another movie that's Sophia Bush and rewind the tape.
Tim
John just said that Jody Foster.
Diane
She did look kind of hot. Have you seen the previews of this? He looks pretty in it.
Eric
And Jody Foster.
Diane
I'm not saying it's like Adriana Lima.
Eric
Eric is dashing out right after this show and catching the first show of Larry the Cable Guy. Health inspector.
Diane
Done. Anybody who thinks that's funny still.
Tim
Yeah.
Diane
You should be shot. Thank you. Tim. Turn. Get her done.
Toledo
Get her done.
Diane
Get her done. Looks like you got a toilet out of work there, huh? I can fix that.
Toledo
Get her done.
Diane
Is that hilarious?
Tim
Way to go, John.
Toledo
Get her done.
Tim
You screwed us now.
Diane
Why?
Tim
We're gonna get turn there right now.
Eric
You know that term's trademarked get her done.
Tim
We have just lost about half our listeners.
Diane
Was it ever funny to any of you guys?
Tim
I thought it was all right. Really?
Diane
Tim, turn. No, I never got this.
Tim
I like the original. The comedy show they did, the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
Eric
I never laughed at the voice more than anything.
Diane
That one.
Tim
Yeah, he had some good. He had some good jokes.
Eric
Hillbilly talks funny.
Tim
Did you just say hillbilly?
Diane
Twice. See, hillbilly talk's funny, not hillbilly talk. Is funny. Hillbilly talks funny.
Eric
TJ from aj.
Diane
Get her done.
Toledo
Get her done. Get er done. Get her done.
Diane
That's all I do when I see him on tv. I used to love Hee Haw. Not really, but it's the same thing. The get er done thing is just as good. He might as well pop out of a corn patch and say it. Get er done.
Eric
Woohoo. There are some babes on Hee Haw.
Diane
Yeah, that's the only reason. Anybody? Well, my grandpa watched Hee Haw a lot.
Tim
Hold on. That goes back to your whole theory about Woo Hoo.
Diane
Well, my Woohoo means that something bad's.
Tim
About to happen and you just did it, so.
Diane
Oh, well, no, I mean, only in.
Tim
You're just jealous because he has like 50 million.
Diane
$80 million. Last year, 90 products that he sells.
John Holmberg
At Circus John Holmberg's morning sickness.
Larry McFeely
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Eric
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement.
Diane
What can I do about that, Larry? Your car' should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps.
Wayne
The air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.
Diane
Nice.
Eric
Is that a big deal to get done?
Diane
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco.
Eric
Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.
John Holmberg
A whole lot more.
Diane
Holmberg's morning Sickness.
Eric
I told you yesterday about Fantasia Barrino and her Lifetime movie about herself. She's gonna play.
Diane
Who's gonna read her the script she can't read?
Eric
Good question. She said she's scheduled to air in August, so she'll have to better get on it.
Diane
She better brush up on the fact she can't read it.
Eric
Might be pretty much like a Waiting for Guffman. They're gonna let her improv.
Toledo
I don't need to read it, baby. I love that.
Eric
Best in show. She'll improv with. Yeah, with Fred Willard.
Diane
Every time she's.
Eric
Fred Willard will pay her, dad.
Diane
You think?
Eric
No, I don't know.
Diane
Good casting there, Fantasia. Come on down.
Toledo
I'm a. Comin. Daddy.
Diane
Fantasia is the maid from Gone with the Wind.
Toledo
Miss Scarlet. Miss Scarlet.
Eric
What was her name?
Diane
Missy.
Eric
Or it was.
Diane
I forget. Get on that.
Eric
Tituba. Or something like that.
Diane
That's it. Tituba. That isn't even remotely close.
Eric
Tituba came from Uncle Tom's Cabin.
Tim
I. Oh, great.
Eric
That was a character in that book.
Diane
Did you learn anything?
Eric
I remember reading the book. Tituba, Rock and Roll Fantasy camp is back.
Diane
I can't hear you through your hood. Take it off.
Eric
And this year's counselors include Dr. John, George Thorogood, John Anderson, Twisted Sisters, D. Snyder, John Anderson, Patty McDaniel. He's a country guy. I think you got.
Diane
I thought you'd play Fantasia in the movie, Brady.
Eric
I might.
Toledo
Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord. My babies don't know who I am.
Tim
Black Lady Brady.
Diane
It's Black Lady Brady.
Toledo
Oh, no, you didn't.
Diane
No, you didn't.
Eric
And then the last thing is, Saget snagged the narrator for his farce of the penguins.
Diane
Who is it?
Eric
Samuel L. Jackson.
Diane
Nice.
Toledo
What you gonna do with all them humps? Oh, damn humps.
Eric
He also has gotten Jason Alexander, Whoopi Goldberg to do some stuff. And Allison Hannigan.
Diane
It wasn't Tituba. Brady, I've been handed a note that you've confused tituba with Hattie McDaniel.
Eric
Who's Hattie McDaniel?
Diane
The maid from Spawn. With a wind.
Eric
Yeah, Tituba. We gotta look it up.
Toledo
Yeah, Tituba.
Eric
I just came up with that.
Diane
Tituba.
Eric
No, it is a real character.
Diane
It is not.
Eric
Huh?
Diane
Can't be.
Eric
Ish Kabibble.
Diane
What's Ish Kabibble? What are you doing?
Eric
Ish Kabibble's another character.
Diane
You're making drug deals on the air, aren't you?
Eric
Nope.
Toledo
Ishka.
Eric
Bibble.
Toledo
Eagle Flies at Midnight. Meet you at the point.
Eric
Chuckle.
John Holmberg
No.
Eric
Ish Kabibble.
Diane
Yeah, because you're both a thousand.
Eric
I don't know Ish Kabibble. I know Ish Kabibble.
Diane
What is Ish Kabibble? Brady, Stop it.
Eric
My friend Steve Weed dog. That was the name of his dog growing up. Ishka Bibble. Was a basset hound and then was on like, the Jack Parr Show.
Diane
I'm gonna reach up, I'm gonna. I'm gonna pull your prostate out and show it to you before you die.
Eric
Calm down. Tituba.
Diane
Jack Johnson, Tom O'Leary, if you want to throw fisticuffs, fine.
Tim
Let's take Woody on him.
Diane
We are now. I'm gonna be thinking of the word Ishka bibble all day. Is it biblical?
Eric
No. Something like the Jack Car show or something, you know, Ish kabibble.
Tim
That's another word for Beelzebub.
Eric
Pick one of those.
Toledo
Yeah, it's the devil. Ish kabibble. I'm under attack from Ishkabibble.
Tim
Google.
Diane
I won't Google ishkabibble. Yes, it's baby talk.
Eric
Google it now.
Diane
No, you Google ishkabibble, because that is just babies chatting.
Tim
The dumbest argument ever.
Diane
This happens to us.
Toledo
Google Ishkabble. Tatuba.
Eric
I guarantee you one thing.
Diane
Three things that aren't words.
Toledo
Hillbillies talk funny.
Tim
How do you spell Ishka Bibble.
Diane
You Google it, Brady.
Toledo
All right. Ishkabil. Tatuba.
Eric
Toledo's three week old infant says more coherent stuff. Use it in the sentence. Please clean my porch. That's.
Diane
You are a horrible race.
Eric
Jeez.
Diane
You know what you've done is my grandma's going, oh, Tituba would be a good name for my characters. Ishkabibel, Tituba, Google. I don't want to know what ishkabibul is. Don't call with it. It's 98 KUPD.
Tim
I get a Spanish website.
Diane
Yeah, don't clean Brady's porch. Tituba. Find a job. You're equal to all of us. Unlike what Brady thinks, It's 98 KUPD.
Brady
Tutu Holmberg's morning sickness.
Diane
Everybody with the Ishk Bible and all the stuff. Finally you've got it. Toledo found out what ishkabibil is, and it's driving us all bananas. By the way, what was the other one? Tituba. Tituba. Yeah, that's how it is.
Eric
Tituba. But here's the reason why you've turned into my grade. In ninth grade, I remember reading a book.
Diane
What?
Eric
And I just remember the character in it was. We would say, of course, you're a ninth grader.
Diane
Look, Tituba.
Eric
And we'd always want to talk about them to the teacher. Hey, so Tituba didn't know it's Tituba.
Diane
So that was Your education in Ohio.
Eric
Yeah, but it ended up being from the Crucible, right?
Diane
Yeah. She was the one of the slaves in the Crucible. But she was from like somewhere else. And she was one of the witches. Indian.
Eric
A witch? Yeah.
Diane
The witcher from who cares?
Eric
Barbados.
Diane
And more importantly, Ishka Bibble. To get it off.
Tim
Before the wise men could follow the star to find the baby Jesus. The little monkey Ishkabibble snuck into their tent.
Diane
I knew this all comes back to Jesus.
Eric
That's not the Ishka Bibble I was talking about.
Diane
Yeah, you don't even know.
Eric
Called Bunny. And she said Ishka Bibble was a musician. And swinging Sammy K's band. Who is from the 30s. He's like Benny Goodman and.
Diane
Hold on. The three wise men needed a monkey to find Jesus?
Tim
I'm just saying that's what wise are you.
Eric
How long they looked for like three years. They followed that story.
Diane
And they're not all that wise.
Tim
Ishkabibel is a master of lies. Able to twist the truth to such a point where others believe night is actually day. Many thieves pay homage to him and hope to protection from the law.
Eric
But see, that is from one story.
Tim
His temples often serve as huge vaults. And tempt those that worship him. The God of trickery. Master of deceit. Lord of rogues. Prince of lies.
Diane
And he's a monkey?
Tim
Apparently.
Eric
Would be another name for the devil.
Tim
I would think they told you Bell's about the devil.
Diane
Nice job. It goes back to Eric.
Eric
So that guy was a devil on a horn. Ishkabibble.
Diane
I knew this was swinging back to Jesus.
Eric
Swing and sway. Sammy K. So wait a minute.
Tim
Does it have to do with a musician?
Eric
They called him Ishka Bibble. And then my friend Steve Weed had a dog and he called it Ishka Bibble.
Diane
Your world is just different than all of ours. What color is the sky where you live? Because it's not blue. And how many moons at night? Because it's not one. Ishkabibil was a monkey that led the wise men.
Eric
And when my grandchildren breakfast, he would make panickers.
Diane
Ishkabiba was like. Like GPS for the wise men.
Eric
No, he wasn't.
Brady
Yes, he was.
Eric
That's a story.
Diane
It's all a story. But Ishkabibble's now the monkey at fault in the story. But he led him to the Jesus. The monkey. Ish Kabibble.
Tim
I'm confused.
Diane
All I know is I no longer believe anything.
Tim
When you make up words, Brady. You know what you're talking about.
Diane
Yeah, when you just start spouting out babble crap. Back it up.
Toledo
Ish Kabble is a bib. Ish Kabble. What is that?
Diane
Why are you turning it?
Tim
What is it?
Toledo
I don't know. Ishka Bibble. Ishkibble. Ishka Bibble.
Diane
It just happened.
Toledo
My friend Steve Weed had a dog named Ishkabibble. So I just said it because I have stupid terraform.
Eric
Why would I come up with Ish Kabibble?
Diane
We don't know. That's what was driving us.
Eric
And I told you.
Brady
No, you didn't.
Eric
All these years, I'd hear the dog Ish Kabibble. I'm like, where did they come up with that name?
Diane
This is what's driving us all mad. I'm gonna take this pen and just jam it in my temple. There's no reason for you to even brought up Ish Kabibble to begin with.
Eric
You wagged me on.
Diane
Stop it. Stop saying things that don't make sense and then making me think about them. That drives me insane.
Tim
Sing the song, John.
Diane
I feel pretty and so pretty.
Eric
What do you get so worked up for?
Diane
Because you just say things. Ish Kabibble. Huh?
Toledo
Ishka Bibble.
Diane
What is that?
Toledo
I don't know.
Diane
Why did you say it?
Toledo
I don't know.
Diane
Are you okay?
Toledo
Ishka Bibble.
Diane
You did it again.
Eric
Clactoria.
Diane
Don't do that.
Brady
Oh, no.
Diane
Collectoria is what the wise men had from banging Ishkabibble the monkey.
Tim
Tourette's. Brady's.
Diane
Yeah.
Toledo
Ishkabel.
Diane
Stop it. It's 98K upd.
John Holmberg
Arizona's most powerful rock media stat said fully erect.
Wayne
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Summary of "BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - MONDAY - December 30, 2024"
Introduction
In this special episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness from December 30, 2024, the hosts—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo—delve into a mix of Hollywood tales, legal dramas, and humorous banter. This "Best Of" compilation captures memorable moments from past episodes, highlighting the show's signature blend of entertainment, commentary, and comedy.
Hollywood Highlights and Movie Buzz
The episode kicks off with Diane noting, “It's been a very Hollywood day” ([01:54]), setting the stage for a lively discussion on recent happenings in the entertainment industry. The hosts reflect on various actors and movies, showcasing their penchant for humorous critiques and lighthearted observations.
Silent Actress Commentary: Diane shares her impressions of a silent female performer, saying, “She's purty. We're just a bunch of hillbillies. That pretty girl stood there real quiet” ([02:18]). Eric echoes her sentiments, adding, “She's Pretty” ([02:05]), highlighting the group's appreciation for unexpected talents in Hollywood.
Robert Blake's Bankruptcy Case: The conversation shifts to legal troubles in Hollywood as Eric mentions, “On Wednesday, the U.S. bankruptcy judge voided Robert Blake's bid for Chapter 11. He got denied, so he's on the hook for the 30 million dollar payback” ([03:03]). Diane humorously responds, “Does Beretta have 30 million bones?” ([02:53]), poking fun at the situation.
Barry Bonds and the Steroid Scandal: A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Barry Bonds' legal battles. Eric explains, “Barry Bonds is suing them because they obtained documents that were confidential. His testimony, the grand jury” ([03:20]). Diane jests about writing a sensational book titled Lying, Filthy, Dirty, Greasy Barry Bonds on Steroids, urging Bonds to take legal action if he wishes ([04:42]). Eric adds, “Barry is gonna actually talk about steroids. He's got that reality show that's gonna run on ESPN April 4th” ([04:47]), indicating Bonds' attempt to address the allegations publicly.
Movie Reviews and Casting Choices
The hosts delve into upcoming film releases, particularly Spike Lee's Inside Man. Tim humorously confuses characters, leading to a playful exchange about casting decisions.
Diane remarks, “She did look kind of hot. Have you seen the previews of this?” ([05:37]), referring to Jodie Foster's role.
Eric shares his plan, “Eric is dashing out right after this show and catching the first show of Larry the Cable Guy. Health inspector” ([05:57]).
The discussion illustrates the hosts' casual approach to movie critiques, blending humor with genuine interest in Hollywood productions.
The "Ishkabibble" Conundrum
A standout segment of the episode involves a perplexing and comedic debate over the term "Ishkabibble."
Eric introduces the term, “Ish Kabibble's another character” ([11:07]), leading to confusion among the hosts.
Diane exclaims, “I won't Google ishkabibble. Yes, it's baby talk” ([12:20]), expressing frustration over the unclear reference.
The conversation spirals with repeated attempts to define "Ishkabibble," culminating in Diane's exasperated declaration, “Stop saying things that don't make sense and then making me think about them. That drives me insane” ([16:49]).
This segment showcases the hosts' chemistry and ability to turn a nonsensical topic into a source of comedy, engaging listeners with their rapid-fire exchanges and escalating humor.
Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts
As the episode wraps up, the hosts transition back to promotional segments, maintaining the show's trademark blend of content and advertisements.
Notable Quotes
Diane: “She's purty. We're just a bunch of hillbillies. That pretty girl stood there real quiet.” ([02:18])
Eric: “On Wednesday, the U.S. bankruptcy judge voided Robert Blake's bid for Chapter 11. He got denied, so he's on the hook for the 30 million dollar payback.” ([03:03])
Diane: “I have a book I'm doing with my grandma, and we talked to her earlier about how Barry Bonds is on steroids...” ([03:49])
Eric: “Barry is gonna actually talk about steroids. He's got that reality show that's gonna run on ESPN April 4th.” ([04:47])
Diane: “Stop saying things that don't make sense and then making me think about them. That drives me insane.” ([16:49])
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness encapsulates the show's essence: a humorous take on current events, pop culture, and the quirks of Hollywood, all delivered through the dynamic interplay of its hosts. From legal dramas to baffling terminology like "Ishkabibble," the episode offers listeners a blend of insightful commentary and comedic relief, staying true to Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show reputation.