← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - MONDAY - December 30, 2024 - Steve Irvin Announces He's Leaving ABC 15 And The End Of Local News - November 2021
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Jon Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of home birds. Morning sickness. This is the Big Red radio. And then some terribly sad news happened over the last week. I guess you guys paid attention to this. He's leaving 15. He said what? Steve Irwin is not gonna be on channel. Irvin Irwin. Don't remember his. The Channel 15 newsman has decided. He has announced that he's no longer going to be on our TVs anymore. So we don't get those magnificent promos on ABC anymore, where in the middle of the evening he just looks at you and goes, a local councilman was found in women's panties. What? And then tonight at 11. Oh, it's great. So are him and Kimmy Q starting their own network now? They must be. Kimmy Q's gone her last weekend. Gonna run for governor. Maybe he does. Oh, is that what's going on? Lisa follows him. She's very upset. She's bothered about Steve Herman. Even too well. Tell her I said thanks. I love that guy. My classic story. I have to tell it again. My classic story of Steve standing in front of me at the NFL Experience when the super bowl was here a few years ago, and we're kicking field goals and he's doing it for the news. Brady in his news clothes, pair of floor shines on, I think, some cheap shoes, newsman shoes. And he's booting 30 yarders in Newsman shoes on the turf. And it's easy. And he's good from 45. So they move it back to 35 yards, and then you hear the guy go, hey, Steve, five minutes. We're going live. All right, I just need a few more practice kicks. Boots. Boom. 35. Man, this guy's smashing him. All right, one minute, Steve. We're going live. All right, one more. Yay. My hammy. And he just screams it at the top of his lungs. He screams, my hammy. Rips his hamstring off of his bone and tore a Capezio. And they're like, five, four, three. But I have to, too. I'm Steve Irwin from the NFL Experience. I just tore my hammy. And they made him kick it anyway. The poor bastard had to try to kick a field goal. So I'm laughing hysterically. Hilarious. Look at this guy. And he has to do his news thing. And then I'm next, and I go up. Boom. I knock a 30 yarder stiff. Guy's like, you wanted five more? I'm like, yeah, add five to that next kick. Yeah, my hammy. I did the exact same thing, although I didn't make a big scene. I just said, I'm good. Did you go old school, straight on, or did you come up. Oh, no. How to kick a field goal? Oh, yeah. I was dead straight, too. I could curve it. I could throw the side. Bobby Gold kicking that thing in the. It was beautiful. And, you know, end over end, a good tumble. You had a nice kick going. But then I pulled my hamstring something fierce. And I didn't. I didn't make a noise like Steve Irwin. That was the noise he made. And I just. I couldn't stop laughing. I walked out and man goes, you were kicking him good. I'm like, yep, I ripped my hamstring right off. It's gone. Really? Just like. Yep, just like. Just keep walking. Cause I was laughing too hard at that guy to make him know I'm gonna start limping pretty severely here in about 10 more steps. That's it. So he can't see it. That was the moment the hip was first in. Who knows? Yeah, the whole thing's a disaster. But I ripped that hamstring it's just proof that you shouldn't. And they, you know, nobody cared like the NFL. They care about health and player safety. They don't care about yours at all because two dudes just smash their hamstring. All right, next. People getting hurt constantly in that thing. It was great, but Steve will miss you because I'll never forget that night watching tv. Said sniffing girls panties. A congressman tonight at ted like I'm watching that newscast. He was the king of teases. Well, I hope his health's all right. I didn't know that's why he's quitting. Figured he's quitting because the writing's on the wall for all local television. All local television news is unwatched except for by me. Zero. They're cutting back over at the 3. 5. Nobody's going to be working there anymore. Yeah, Channel 12. I don't think anybody's even watched Channel 12 for, I don't know, six, seven years. I think that one's just off. Fox is. No, no longer a local news channel. Unless they start selling merchandise or something. Yeah, unless it's the morning show and QVC combo. That's true. They have to start giving. Well, that's what Channel 3 does with the local steals and deals. There's like three minute commercials every two minutes of that Lisa Robertson selling you a flashlight and stuff. The morning shows still do great. That Hayden guy, that Troy Hayden, you know, Mr. Zoo Man. Troy Morcom, that's right. Troy. Troy Morcom. Troy Morcom, we call. He's over there at channel 10. He got. He was smart writing on the wall and got in there with that Celeste Rodriguez in morning. But the night news is done. Done. In fact, I tuned in two nights ago, I guess, or three nights ago. Channel 12. 12 News with Mark Curtis and Kariba Divine and then just an empty desk for 30 minutes. They didn't even. They didn't even do a show that night. Nobody noticed. Nobody said a thing. Why bother? Nobody wants to watch that anymore. You get your news on your phone. It's true, nobody's watching some of that stuff. But they're all quitting. They're all. You talked to Mark Curtis still, is he? Yeah. Is he about done? He's wanting to quit. Right. It's a job, he said. You know, he's been doing a long time too. Forever. It is. Yeah. People forget that Groucho. Mark Curtis has been at this. In this city outside of a few years away when he went to Minnesota. Yep. For like 40 years now. Yeah, He Was the sports guy when I was a kid. Yep. I don't know how old Mark is, but he's got to be pushing 80. 85. He's. He looks great. 87. He looks fantastic. Whatever Grecian he's on is good stuff. And I also noticed, and you might want to talk about this with Mark, that Caribbe no longer wears a ring. Yeah. Is that a thing? What? We'll find out. I'll find out. That's why I'm leaving the news to court. Caribbe divine tonight at 10. Is that real? I don't know. You don't know yet. I noticed that she's no longer in a. Michael. Michael Higgins sent this over. He always tracks it down. Yeah, he tracks it down. This is the best. Listen to this. Sniffing a child's panties. Outrage over a judge's ruling on a former U.S. marshal. That's the child's panties. That was. I was watching the Bachelor, and then Steve Irwin comes on, goes sniffing a child's panties, like, whoa, what story is this? And then the other one was. You're not gonna believe what this Uber driver. He said, what? And evidently somebody called their Uber driver an N word. And it was all on some tape. I remember that he said, what? It's the best. I think we're getting the best of. I'm gonna miss that guy. There's another one from Irvin. Another one? Erwin. Is it Irwin or Irvin? Irvin. Oh, that's it. I. I exaggerate. Wow. Asking you shall receive. That's pretty good. Thank you to our list for storing all that stuff. Why not his Uber driver? A what? That's right. If it was, er. When he be the crocodile. Yeah. I don't know which one he is, but he's quitting. Find out about that karibay thing because I already told Winston. Because we've got a bet on who Karibe likes more. Me or him. And I've. I've met her a couple of times and she took to me. So win and I have a deal on. But I don't think she's wearing that ring anymore. Might have to make him a move. But they didn't. But I did notice that she had a bunch of kids when I saw her at the. And you know where I met her? Yes. Ask where I met her. Where did you meet her? At the Africa Festival. Of course you did. Well, that's rude. I stood out like a sore thumb. That's what I'm saying. Everybody met me that day. You were the token dude. Oh, I was the token. Some dude tried to sell me a dashiki and I'm like. And I told him, like, I don't think I can wear this, because why not? And I'm like, little thing called appropriation and where am I gonna wear this? And he goes, you can wear it anywhere you want. I'm like, I don't think you're. I think you're trying to get me shot. Can you imagine me walking around in one of those circle hats and a big I got this at Africa festival over at the kiwanis park. But I saw Caribbe Divine there talk to her a little bit about that. How awful Winston is. It worked out great. You don't know him, but he's terrible. And he's gonna probably bother you. Yeah. Did you text Mark? I did. And ask him, why isn't Kirby wearing a ring? John noticed. Oh, creepy. Divine in love twist with me tonight at 10. Oh, well, I hate to see him go. And I didn't know that Toledo's wife was trying to cuck with him, but evidently in tears all weekend. I've never been in tears over a news person leaving. Cameron Harper's gone. No, no, not Royal Norman. Old school Royal. No, no. Oh. The day that Royal Norman announces it's his last day. Oh. Oh, no. Jon Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPT college hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just 9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wing joined since 1983. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice. Is that a big deal to get done? Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're Amco. Google. Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't get that upset about it. Cameron Harper was pretty great. I remember I watched Cameron Harper cry because he watched an execution. Yeah. It was years that did it for was when that. He is about finished with everything. After that, I think he. I think he reevaluated life. Because before he's like, I'm going in as a newsman. I have a media pass. I'm gonna watch this execution because they allow some media to do it. And I'll tell you exactly. He came out white as a ghost. Tears in his eyes. I hang on, everyone. That was. Any questions? And I'm like, what did you see? Oh, horror. Why did you do this? I don't know. I shouldn't have done it. Like Burl Ives at the beginning of Rudolph. So cool. And then they told me what happens? Well, these pellets drop and then there's like this gas, and you can see the guy gasping for. Oh, oh, oh. I don't wanna. I don't wanna talk about it. What did you expect, right? You're watching the dude slow die. Yeah. Oh, the gas chamber is horrifying. Yeah, it's called the Gas Chamber. Kind of. It's in the title. No, Cameron didn't like that. Then he quit. Heidi Folgerson quit. All of them quit. Sharp hung in there. Who he? Jim. Giants radio news. That doesn't count. I know, but he saw it. Jeremy could get a job in radio. Nobody. Nobody. Jim Sharp, one of the dopiest friends I had. Well, he's the only other one I know that watched one that watches the news. Oh, watch an excuse. Oh, I thought you were talking about. He got rocked. No different than Brett going in there. Radio people have absolutely zero training, and they just happen to be on a channel that hires them. It's the. It's you look. Radio news people get too much credit. It's who hires you. He tried. He. He worked at like 30 different radio stations before a news station said, do you want to try this? He's like, yeah, yeah, I just tried them out. Witnessing an execution. He shouldn't have had those tickets either. Why? He was all excited. Yeah, he shouldn't have gotten though. He should have scalped them. There's no great seats. You're right over here. And how bad would it be if you're there and you're like, I'm Sorry, is section 102 and you're in. Oh, geez. I'm sorry. I'm in the wrong seats. I thought this. So it's not very clearly marked. Red rope. Popcorn. Catch a red rope. Last meal. Last meal here. Red licorice. Just like his face is about to turn. Red licorice. Usher, I believe these people are in our seats. Husher's there. Oh. Oh, yeah. Usher's here. Watch what he did. Oh, I'm still gonna miss Steve. But I don't watch the news. I only watch for the pro. I watch and Brandon Lee's gone. All of them. The writing's on the wall. The local news is over. It's over. Completely over. And I feel bad for all of us. You think Covet took him down or you think it's just a natural progression? Army crime. Sam Witwicky. I am Omicron. I hope they can defeat him. No, they can't, Brady. It's not. Omicron is undefeatable. Yeah. Anyway, so hopefully Steve doesn't have the Omicron and he can't be around it, but all of them are quitting. It's just gonna be a. A whole prediction one year from now. Local news. A bunch of fat former homecoming queens that still want attention. That's it. That's all you're gonna see. Still have their bubble hair. They're the big bl. Blonde hair. But they're all going to be way overweight because that's all that will want the job, because hot girls aren't going to want to do it anymore. So there'll be a bunch of overweight former homecoming queens that can't get over the fact no one's paying attention to them anymore. So they have to have a camera pointed out. And they'll read about babies drowning in fires and stuff and feel like they're pretty still. That's it. That's local news in a nutshell. And Mark Curtis, who's just going to ride it out while they still throw money at him. But he doesn't want to be there either. So here's his post. I'm leaving now. Bye. For the last 15 months, I've been preoccupied with an equation. On August 17, 2020, I woke up feeling chest pains. Went to the hospital, underwent a series of tests, discovered a 70 to 80% blockage. Geez Louise. He's in decent shape. So that's. That's basically what's gonna. He was looking at the widowmaker. Yeesh. So they. So he doesn't want to do news anymore. That's too much stress for him. Reading News to you guys has caused me to want to blow up in the internals. And then he left the. And you heard him leaving the Channel 15 parking lot. You heard road hog. What? Traffic on Armor School is terrible today. We'll be right back. Anyway, let's. I'm wearing the right shirt, then I be stroking. Shirt is on. Yes, Brady does not like talking of 70 to 80% blockage. Maybe you should listen to Steve. That guy's a skinny mini. Maybe I should stop doing this. 30% of people, he says with blockages of mine or more have no symptoms. Oh, he's got all the symptoms. I've got all of them. He's got every symptom you can imagine. He's bright red, he can't read three word sentences. You're fine, you're fine. Barely ticking. He's got pills for that. You're on top of it. I had to quit my job because of blockage. And he can still do neutral. I don't like it one bit. Oh, dog. Anyway, I did like him a lot, but he's gone terrible. And then Kimmy Q leaves the Saturday show because that Kylie Cruz came on and started bragging about her engagement. Kimmy couldn't take it Broker. It broke her. I'm convinced that has something to do with why she quit. Cuz all she does is when my fiance and I. She's still throwing that ring out there. Five seconds, bing, bam. All the studio lights catching, just blinding. Kimmy Q. It's like I can't take it anymore. And then they got this other lady in there. Now that makes Kylie feel bad because all she talks about is how many babies she's had in the last year. Like nine. She's like Baby Factor, Octomon porn on it. And she's like, oh. And she can't get through a story without saying, oh, my youngest or her kids. I mean, it could be a house fire where 40 people died. My youngest was playing with matches. She can't not talk about it. Change the goddamn. Well, no, you can't help it. Because I'm not watching for them talking. I'm watching for the other one's reaction. They're only in it to make the other one mad. And that's why Kimmy left. Just a cesspool of passive aggressive behavior. And then they did this once for two babies found in a bottom of a swimming pool. An El Mirage today. And any woman worth her salt is engaged. We'll be right back. It's like, oh, that Kimmy Q just took a Shot for no reason. A baby drowning story. Forget the baby story. Any woman worth her salt has a ring on her finger. Isn't that right? Let's check weather. Kimmy. Oh, I see your hands are empty. Oh, my arms hurt so bad from carrying this giant diamond around all day. Kimmy, you wouldn't know, but it. It takes a lot out of you. That's it. It's like carrying babies. But you wouldn't know, Kylie, because clearly your ovaries are all dried up. They hate each other. I watch for the drama. It's great. Well, anyway, good luck to Steve. He doesn't know me. I don't know him. I only stood behind him in line at the NFL Experience. Watch him rip his hamstring. That's our closest encounter. But I became a fan that day because he went and kicked another one. That's truly into it. Pulled a hamstring. Dude went out there and tried to boot a. I've been hitting him the whole time. He screams at the camera. I've been hitting these one after another. But then, anyway, back to you, Katie. Yeah. And he hobbles out of there. Yeah, you guys saw it. I was crushing him. Yeah, I did. No, you were killing it. Yeah. Yeah. See? See? Yeah. See? It's these goddamn hot valves. See? I hope he's all right. Did he get that cleared up? It's like you don't make a post and get better and quit the news. You have to go to a doctor, fix the block. Part of the process quitting the news is. Yeah, plenty of news guys have had, like, Larry King had like, 40 hearty heart attacks. I'm having a heart attack right now. We talked to Piers Morgan. Baltimore. You're on Baltimore. Hello. While I have my cardio infarction, you go ahead and tell Piers Morgan what you think of him. Oh, God damn it. Anyway, we're back from that commercial break where I had two heart attacks. He got married for the eighth time. Brady. Houston. Hello. Yes. No, I'm currently in the middle of one. Houston, will you marry me? Houston, you sound great. I'd like to propose. You got it, Larry. Hi, Larry. Hello, Houston. How are you? Please go. Hi. I just want to say, by the way, I just finished. Geez. Will you be my bride? The late Larry King and his 5,000 heart attacks. And Steve Irwin gets in blockage and he bails. Brady, you're a trooper. 70, 80% blockage. Pussy, that guy. When you're a C student in blockage. Fine. Cute. Don't quit your job. Get like Brady he's on the honor roll, he's in 92% blockage. And that guy still shows up every morning. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said. Fully erected. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. 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