Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - MONDAY - January 20, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Release Date: January 20, 2025

Overview

In this "Best Of" episode from January 2025, Holmberg's Morning Sickness features a lively and humorous discussion led by host John Holmberg alongside his co-hosts Bret Vesely and Dick Toledo. The episode delves into a comedic analysis of the classic fairy tale "Cinderella," explores relatable everyday topics like cooking spaghetti, shares amusing anecdotes about lifeguard shortages, and wraps up with entertaining stories about bizarre dating experiences sourced from Reddit's Ask Women.

1. Deconstructing Cinderella and Prince Charming

The episode kicks off with a spirited critique of the timeless "Cinderella" story. John Holmberg and Bret Vesely dissect the characters and plot, highlighting flaws and injecting their signature humor.

• Character Critique:

  • John Holmberg humorously mocks Prince Charming's intelligence, stating, "Cinderella is the new perspective as a man, we don't acknowledge your existence until you look good. That's the message." (04:00)
  • Bret Vesely adds to the banter by emphasizing the unrealistic standards set by the story, saying, "She's black. That's a black actress playing that. She's not the one you were making out with five minutes ago." (04:25)

• Plot Flaws:

  • The hosts point out the illogical aspects of the prince searching for Cinderella solely based on the glass slipper, questioning his decision-making process. John remarks, "He just wanted some ass. All right, shoe fits. Let's go." (08:28)

• Audience Engagement:

  • They share personal experiences of watching the Cinderella play at the Phoenix Theater, describing fellow audience members and amusing incidents, such as a veteran who fell asleep during the performance. John comments, "I giggled and laughed the whole time... he's asleep again." (04:15)

2. The Great Spaghetti Sauce Debate

Transitioning from fairy tales to culinary delights, the conversation shifts to the preferences for different spaghetti sauces. John and Bret engage in a playful debate over brands like Ragu, Prego, and Mama's Gravy.

• Brand Preferences:

  • John Holmberg advocates for Ragu, stating, "Rouse is the best if you're in a pinch." (13:21)
  • Bret Vesely supports Mama's Gravy, joking, "I think you Italians get mouthy real fast. His real name's Vinnie Passini or something." (14:26)

• Taste Test Humor:

  • They humorously speculate on whether consumers can distinguish between homemade and jarred sauces, with John suggesting, "Most Italians couldn't tell mama's gravy from the rouse or the prego." (14:10)

• Culinary Mishaps:

  • The duo shares exaggerated scenarios about cooking, such as making spaghetti directly in hot water and the humorous aftermath involving the scent of Italian food influencing their experiences.

3. Lifeguard Shortages and Swimming Lessons

The conversation takes a turn towards public safety and recreational training, addressing the shortage of lifeguards and the challenges of teaching adults to swim.

• Lifeguard Training Issues:

  • Bret Vesely highlights the problem, "You'd have a hard time getting lifeguards if one of the things you have to do is teach them to swim." (23:10)

• Personal Experiences:

  • John Holmberg shares his limited scuba diving experience, describing the physical sensation of underwater pressure: "You can feel the weight of the water. It's a very strange kind of sensation the first few times you go under." (17:11)

• Instructor Insights:

  • They discuss the difficulties instructors face in getting untrained adults to commit to lifeguard roles, emphasizing the necessity of genuine interest and aptitude for water safety.

4. Hilarious Alien and Flex Seal Analogies

Injecting their trademark humor, the hosts draw parallels between popular culture references and everyday products.

• Flex Seal Comedy:

  • John Holmberg mocks Flex Seal advertisements by imagining absurd scenarios, saying, "How are you gonna get out of there? You're sealed in." (24:14)

• Alien Movie References:

  • The duo humorously critiques the unrealistic portrayal of alien technology in films, linking it to the overuse of products like KY Jelly for fictional purposes.

5. Bizarre Dating Stories from Reddit's Ask Women

Concluding the episode, John and Bret delve into user-submitted weird dating stories from Reddit, sharing laughs over unconventional and awkward first dates.

• Weird Date Highlights:

  • John Holmberg recounts a story where a woman expected lunch but was taken to a gun range: "That's pretty good. One." (30:52)
  • Bret Vesely shares multiple anecdotes, including a date involving watching "Sausage Party" on a phone and attempting to kiss during an inappropriate movie scene: "That guy's got a great sense of humor." (27:41)

• Personal Reflections:

  • John, admitting his inexperience, humorously reflects on his own lack of traditional dating experiences, enhancing the relatability and comedic value of the segment.

Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg:
  "Cinderella is the new perspective as a man, we don't acknowledge your existence until you look good."
  (04:00)

• Bret Vesely:
  "She's black. That's a black actress playing that. She's not the one you were making out with five minutes ago."
  (04:25)

• John Holmberg:
  "Rouse is the best if you're in a pinch."
  (13:21)

• Bret Vesely:
  "You'd have a hard time getting lifeguards if one of the things you have to do is teach them to swim."
  (23:10)

• John Holmberg:
  "Cereal comes out and it makes your poop smell like Italian food."
  (14:50)

• Bret Vesely:
  "That guy's got a great sense of humor."
  (27:41)

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends sharp wit with relatable topics, from dissecting fairy tales to navigating the complexities of modern dating. Host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Bret Vesely and Dick Toledo deliver a blend of insightful humor and engaging conversation, ensuring listeners are entertained and amused throughout. Whether critiquing classic stories or sharing personal anecdotes, the trio's chemistry and comedic timing shine, making this episode a memorable installment of Arizona's favorite morning radio show.