BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - MONDAY - January 20, 2025 - John Saw Photographer Tumble At Wedding - Oct 2014

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - January 20, 2025

Hosted by John Holmberg alongside Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, this episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" delves into a series of hilarious and unexpected events that unfolded at recent weddings. From photographer mishaps to unforgettable dance floor moments, John and his co-hosts share their candid experiences and insights, offering listeners both laughs and relatable anecdotes.

---

1. Introduction to Wedding Antics

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg recounting his recent attendance at his friend Phil and Belinda’s wedding. Despite initial hesitations and past negative experiences, John finds himself sharing memorable moments that turned an ordinary wedding into an extraordinary event.

Notable Quote:

• “I had two things. Two awesome... Something awesome happens now when I go to weddings. I've wished for it enough that now it's happening at every wedding.”
  [02:15] John Holmberg

2. The Photographer Tumble Incident

A significant portion of the discussion centers around an unexpected mishap involving the wedding photographer. As Phil and Belinda share their first moments as a married couple, their photographer attempts a dynamic shot but ends up tripping over a planter and falling into the grass, causing both chaos and laughter.

Key Points:

• Setting the Scene: The wedding was held at a picturesque location in Mesa, with a brick walkway and lush planters enhancing the ambiance.

• The Incident: As the couple walks away from the altar, the photographer loses balance, leading to a comedic yet concerning fall.

• Reactions:

  • “Come on, shake it off. It’s game day. Get up. It’s their wedding. It’s not about you.”
    [05:40] John Holmberg

  • The hosts and attendees encourage the photographer to recover, underscoring the importance of keeping the moment joyful despite unforeseen events.

• Aftermath: The damaged footage left John lamenting the loss of potential memories but also appreciating the humor in the situation.

Notable Quote:

• “How come photographers dress better at weddings? They got the one. Go to standard union. They all look like monochrome union crew members.”
  [04:50] John Holmberg

3. Additional Wedding Mishaps and Humor

John and his co-hosts share a series of other humorous wedding-related stories, highlighting the unpredictable nature of such celebrations.

A. Groom's Unwanted Swing:

• Story: At a botanical garden wedding, an uninvited incident occurs when a groom takes a swing at the bride’s mother, causing a stir among the guests.

B. Last-Minute Party Solutions:

• Tribute to Terry from Az Kegs: John extends gratitude to Terry for his swift assistance in resolving alcohol shortages at weddings, portraying him as a “24-hour genie” essential for last-minute party solutions.

  Notable Quote:

  • “Eric, if you call me like days later, he’ll be here in an hour. He’s a genie. He’s a 24-hour genie.”
    [08:10] John Holmberg

C. Dance Floor Dilemmas:

• Awkward Dancing Moments: From dancing with grandmas to witnessing teenagers twerking, the hosts highlight the diverse and sometimes cringe-worthy dance floor behaviors that add to the wedding’s entertainment value.

• Heartwarming Yet Awkward Performances:

  • A guest with mental challenges delivers an impressively legitimate dance routine, sparking mixed reactions from the crowd.

  Notable Quote:

  • “He could get down. That was the joke.”
    [10:30] John Holmberg

4. Wedding Planning Insights and Humor

Amid the laughter and stories, John offers tongue-in-cheek advice on wedding planning, emphasizing the ease of organizing events with the right help.

Key Insights:

• Simplifying Planning: Jokingly suggests that wedding planning can be streamlined by delegating tasks to reliable friends and professionals like DJs, caterers, and beverage providers.

• Color Schemes and Decorations: Highlights the often overwhelming decisions regarding color palettes and decor, poking fun at the complexities involved.

Notable Quote:

• “You've got one job. Just stay upright. And even if you fall, you take some shots on the way down.”
  [11:15] John Holmberg

5. Closing Remarks and Reflections

As the episode wraps up, John reflects on the recurring themes at weddings—the blend of joy, unexpected challenges, and the unique characters that make each celebration unforgettable. The hosts collectively agree that despite the chaos, weddings are a source of enduring memories and laughter.

Final Thoughts:

• Emphasis on the human element in weddings, where imperfections and spontaneous moments contribute to the event's charm.

• Appreciation for the supportive friends and professionals like Terry from Az Kegs who ensure weddings run smoothly despite hiccups.

Notable Quote:

• “Nobody likes going to weddings, but when something like that happens, it just makes it all worthwhile.”
  [11:50] John Holmberg

---

Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" masterfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, offering listeners a vivid portrayal of the unpredictable nature of weddings. Through engaging storytelling and candid reflections, John Holmberg and his co-hosts provide both entertainment and relatable insights, making it a must-listen for anyone who has navigated the joyous chaos of wedding celebrations.

Transcript

[A]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.

[B]

The amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I had two things. Two awesome I'm start going to weddings more. I went to my friend Phil and Belinda's wedding Friday night. I was supposed to have all those shows, but it all cleared out. Wait a minute. Wait. Take that back. You're going to start going to more weddings? Start going to more weddings. Here's why I am wedding death. Something awesome happens now when I go to weddings. I've wished for it enough that now it's happening at every wedding. Arguments and stuff back? No. Well, that was back in May when I actually saw the groom I didn't go to. I didn't intentionally. I wasn't invited. But I was at that wedding and I realized, oh my God, I brought all my positive karma of hating weddings to these weddings where bad things happen just if I'm near them. So we went to. And it wasn't. The wedding was great, but this awesome thing happened. It was like right when Phil and Belinda are there and they're married and they look great. I mean, they look beautiful. Actually, it was one of those Times where you normally. You look at a bride and you're like, wow, nice dress. What in the world were you thinking? And her hair's like something you. But this one, you said she cleaned up nice. Belinda walked by. I'm like, that is the best a bride has ever looked to me because her hair looked normal and good. Couldn't see any whiskers. Like, I could see her going out with that hair on a regular. Like, most wedding hair is this thing you'd never see, this Bride of Frankenstein concoction with, like, birds and. And flowers and, like, a small Hyundai. I don't know what they're doing three hours to. Yeah. And it looks like garbage to most people at the end. It's just elaborate, I guess. To the best. Her hair looked great. She looked amazing. And there's Phil and his. You know, he's just. Phil. It's a dude. What are you gonna do? So he's standing up there, and everything's good. So they get married, and they're like. And I'm. It's a packed house. So me and about 12, 15 other people are standing about 15ft behind the back row. And there's probably, I don't know, maybe 100 people there. So there's a brick walkway from where they get hitched and some planters and some. You know, it's kind of a nice setting. Very pretty. It's the right house in Mesa. Very nice. And then there's, like. I now introduce Phil. And for the first time, Phil and Belinda Avala there are ready to go. Everybody like, hey. And they start doing that walk away from the stage. What do you call that thing? The stage? Walking from the altar. The altar. There it is. And they're walking. And then the photographers, they have, like, three or four photographers all around them. This older fella's got a big video camera, and he's backing up, and he's doing all these cool angles, and he's. He's a pro. And how come. And by the way, a side note. Why can't photographers dress better at weddings? They got the one. Go to standard union. They all look like monochrome union crew member. Like, this dude had a pink dirty eyes on and, like, just black docker pants that were. I mean, he just looked sloppy. I'm like, you're at a wedding. Can't you just gussy it up? And so anyway, so he's. He's the guy working the camera. Because it's got to be tough doing pictures nowadays because everybody's got a damn camera. True you gotta. You gotta up it well. And everybody, out of respect, had their cameras away for this moment because they paid top dollar for this. There's no reason for you to be snapping better shots on your iPhone and making them feel like they got ripped off. So I think that's what people just keep their. And out of respect, you don't want your phone out at the wedding. So everybody's standing, dude backing up and everything. And they're. They're doing that slow, weird walk away to kind of be the couple for the first time. And cameraman smashes the planter with the tree and goes ass over tea kettle into this grass. And it makes that dull body thud where you hear all the air leave his body. Camera goes flying, and he does the Peter Griffin. So Belinda and Phil are just standing there. What do we do now? So they're just like, stop. And he's on the grass going. And he's rubbing his legs. So what you hear on the video, I'm sure is me and my buddy Chris Harris going, shake it off. Come on, it's game day. Get up. Get up. Shake it off. It's their wedding. It's not about you. Get up. Megan's next to me going, come on, shake it off. And it was, like, immediate. All of us were like, get up. You cannot make this about you. He shinboned onto the bricks, which really hurts. But shake it off. Get up. You can't have. So somewhere, I gotta see this video of them, you know, majestically walking away from the office. They didn't put it live. They didn't put a video together where it. Phil's coming over tonight to watch a football game, and if he doesn't bring that video, I'm gonna punch him square in the nose. I've got to see this. So, I mean, the video is gonna be just of them, this beautiful thing. And then the camera just is thrown for no reason at all, just through the air. It just gets tossed. Don't you ask for that footage. You have to have that as part of it. But then he's just laying there. So all night long at the reception, he's trying to take pictures, and me and Chris Harris are sitting there going, hey, man, you don't look good. Are you o. Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for your concern. Limping? No, but we were just giving him crap because we didn't want him to forget. He'd come over and say, hey, do you want help with that? Because there's no way you're. You're 100% you look terrible. I'm good. Thanks Guys. You took quite a spill. I know, I know. Just. Just up his tip. We just had at him all night. It was great though. Yeah. So two in a row. Last two weddings. I've been near one invited one, not saw a groom take a swing at the. The bride's mother back at the botanical gardens. And then this. This dude's. You got any upcoming? I'm just gonna start crashing them. I'm gonna start hanging out at your bride house. New homeburg. Get me at your wedding. Was it the reception? A DJ band or not? Dj, dj. Same old stuff. Same chicken dance. But it was nice. You know what? I don't know what you're planning, ladies. I really don't. It was a nice event, but I don't know why this takes months. Because I think I can put that together in three days. I really do. I think it's pretty much standard cut. You're the dj. You've got it figured out. You're the photographer. You've got to figure it out. Stay on your feet. And this is the venue. You had one job. I. One job. Just stay upright. And even if you fall, you take some shots on the way down. Right? You just. You. Ansel Adams. You're pro. You're a pro. But it was great. That video is gonna be so great. There's a camera laying in grass and then. Oh, come on. Shake it off. It's game day. Get up. Let's go. Was there the audible gasp from the car? Oh yeah. Well, after you heard all the air leave this guy's body. Wedding coordinator, anywhere she. And that's the other thing. They hide. Like the wedding coordinator hides. The other camera people are behind. Oh, they're nowhere near. Was awesome. And I have to say thank you to Terry from Az Kegs for making it happen because there was a little alcohol issue. Terry again. I can plan this in an hour. Terry comes through with a couple of glorious kegs and we're. We're golden. I mean it was like he. Terry, we got an issue with this? I'll be down in 20 minutes. Boom. AZ Kegs rolls out and he's. There's Terry. And we're loaded up. So if you ever need anything for. Look guys. Guys should take over wedding planning. You call Terry, Eric and DJ for you. Get a couple buddies over there, do some food and you're done. Brady can do the pork office. It's done. It's done. You. You go by address. I'll meet you at 5:30 on Friday. That's pretty much. But I have to. What about the settings and the. What? Plates? Paper. What do you want to go? Paper or glass? We gotta have settings at the center. We have to pick a color scheme. How hard is that? There's like eight colors. Well, I want fuchsia and white decided. Bam. Done. Done. I have to get bridesmaids dresses. I can do that by Friday at 5:30. You should be able to do this. Pink savers. Really Pink ugly. A dark ugly. You nail it every time with hideous. Dark and ugly. If it looks brown and orange. Anything to make you look better, right? You're the bride. Looks like a fat Easter egg. That's your answer. There you go. It looks like something that just kind of blew up and is laying on the side of the road for a few hours. Might be. Sun bleached there. Put that on your big fat friends and let's go. So, yeah, it was, it was a. It was an event. But yeah, I could do that. But yeah, Terry came through so. Az kegs. I had to give them props because knowing Terry is a lifesaver. And those moments were. Terry was pretty awesome. So if you have something coming up and you need a quick hitter on that, the dude is like a genie. It's amazing. When you call him, it's like. And honestly, he's like, just have your listeners, you know, say that. Call Terry, I'll take care of him. Oh, wait, it's not just for you, for John Holmberg, for all sorts of people. No, if I call him, he'll show right up. Eric, if you call me like days later, he'll be here in an hour. He's a genie. He's a 24 hour genie. It's weird. I need Terry.

[A]

Jameson, where were you? There in 15?

[B]

Where were you? Buckeye, how did you do this?

[A]

He's the wolf.

[B]

I'm an alcohol genie. I have no idea how you do this. It's amazing. We did it that one time. We had a party at my house. The keg dried out. We're out of everything. And I'm like. And there's like 80 or 90 people there. And I called Terry and I'm like, terry, we're dry. There's no way it's 11 o'clock. There's no way you're gonna be there in 20 minutes. Two kegs. He's got the other thing. Comes and cleans my lines in the keg and bails. And I'm like, you're ridiculous. You're an amazing human being. Just rub the bottle three times. They just start rubbing the keg. Can I help you? Oh, my God, he's here. This is weird. Anyway, so thanks to Terry for saving the day on that one too. And whatever that photographer is, I'm sure he's just got the biggest, blackest bruise ever on his leg. It was awesome. Nobody likes going to weddings, but when something like that happens, it just makes it all worthwhile. And they're great people and everything else, and it has nothing to do with the humanity of it and all. It's just weddings are. That's the exact same thing every time. And then the next thing you know, you're standing on the dance floor with an old lady going to the window, to the wall. Say it, grandma to. The sweat drips down my balls. And then she'll say at the end, I'm like, I've been to eight of these. This is exactly the same every time. And inevitably, there's someone not dressed in wedding clothes who's like, 16, twerking. That happened too. Like the last two or three weddings I've gone to, someone's kid shows up dressed up like they just got out of penny. And, you know, in and out the dance floor. Yeah. Oh, and there was a great moment. My friend Chris has a brother with. He's mentally challenged, so he feels that it's okay for him to make the jokes. And there was a kid there who had. Who was mentally challenged, and he started to dance, and the kid could dance like it was legit. He made me feel really bad about it. He could get down. That was the joke. Chris goes. He is breaking it down. And the whole room's like, aha. Oh, don't laugh loud. Don't laugh. Don't internally laugh. Chuckle inside. And then Chris, of course, turns. It's okay because my brother's retarded. Like, okay. It's not okay. I got black one, friend. No, it's okay. I've got one. I got one. I got one at home. Neither of those things are okay. Well, my friend has one that was a great. I'm the only one going, I was pissing myself. Harris is a silent assassin. He looks like an accountant, but he says horrible stuff. That's why I got a little cocky back in the day when gangsta rap was huge. I was dropping N bombs. My buddy's black next to me. Then he puts me in a chokehold. All of a sudden. You better stop saying that. All right? Stop it. What, pal? Did he grab your throat and go, all right, stop? And he went collaborate and listen. It's out of control.

[C]

College hoops are here and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters. The original wing joint since 1903.