BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - MONDAY - January 20, 2025 - Man Suing Dunkin Donuts After Toilet Explodes Proving Again To Not Poop In Public - Jan 2024

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS Episode: Monday - January 20, 2025
Title: Man Suing Dunkin Donuts After Toilet Explodes Proving Again To Not Poop In Public
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: January 20, 2025

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Overview

In this standout episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness from January 20, 2025, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts delve into a bizarre and humorous incident involving a customer suing Dunkin' Donuts after a toilet explosion. The discussion evolves into a broader, comedic exploration of public restroom etiquette, corporate negligence, and the perils of using public facilities.

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Main Discussion: The Dunkin' Donuts Toilet Explosion

The episode kicks off with Larry McFeely sharing a sensational story about a Dunkin' Donuts toilet malfunctioning catastrophically:

• Larry McFeely [00:58]: "That’s why I don't go in public restrooms. This is why I like how they..."
• Brett [01:19]: "Talked to one of the employees over there. Yeah, it's been happening for a while."

Larry elaborates on the incident where a customer's toilet erupted violently:

• Larry McFeely [01:27]: "They never called, you know, precision plumbing and got Eric Bryant's gang over there to do some work and fix the toilets. But the toilet exploded. Exploded. It didn't just bubble up. It exploded to the point where the man has injuries."

The co-hosts humorously discuss the severity of the explosion and its aftermath:

• Larry McFeely [02:09]: "He went in his name is Kerouac. Not like the beat poet Jack Kerouac, but it's the same name... He'd own all the Duncans."
• Brett [03:29]: "He’s tired and he was a regular and that was his spot. That's every morning at 7."

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Humorous Takes on Public Restrooms

The conversation shifts to the broader topic of public restrooms, emphasizing the discomfort and potential hazards of using them:

• Larry McFeely [04:59]: "We know what you're going to do if you're willing to carry the wheel. Otherwise, a decent man would say I'm not carrying that wheel."
• Brett [05:32]: "You're on the road. Like a 17-hour flight."

The hosts share anecdotes and jokes about restroom experiences, highlighting societal norms and personal boundaries:

• Larry McFeely [07:15]: "It wasn't a beehive wheel for me. It was a beehive. And then it started tumbling out."
• Brett [09:12]: "Is that a big deal to get done?"

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Notable Quotes and Insights

The episode is punctuated with memorable quotes that underscore the comedic and critical perspectives of the hosts:

• Larry McFeely [06:48]: "She got inside out of there. It sucked out several feet of her intestines in her body."
• Brett [12:23]: "No more fast food restaurants. If you go into my business, which is just toilets, it's just called John's."
• Larry McFeely [15:30]: "Throwing the munchkin up in the air, trying to catch you see him roll out from under the stall."

These quotes illustrate the hosts' talent for blending humor with commentary on everyday challenges, such as the reliability of public facilities.

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Proposed Solutions and Satirical Ideas

In a flurry of creativity, the hosts propose humorous yet thought-provoking solutions to the problems highlighted:

• Larry McFeely [11:39]: "It's just called John’s. And you go in there for two bucks. It's the only place sit-down toilets exist anymore."
• Brett [11:55]: "They tried to do that with rest areas but then those got ruined."
• Larry McFeely [12:03]: "Have standalone restroom stores where you pay to use them, enforcing proper restroom etiquette."

These satirical suggestions serve to emphasize the frustrations associated with public restrooms while entertaining the audience with imaginative, albeit unrealistic, fixes.

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Historical and Fictional Toilet Mishaps

The hosts delve into other infamous toilet-related accidents, blending historical facts with exaggerated tales for comedic effect:

• Larry McFeely [07:32]: "She got inside out of there. It sucked out several feet of her intestines in her body."
• Brett [07:34]: "How about that guy on death row who got electrocuted while using a toilet?"

These stories, whether real or embellished, highlight the unpredictable dangers of seemingly mundane objects like toilets, adding depth to the episode's main theme.

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate their stance on public restroom usage, emphasizing personal responsibility and societal respect:

• Larry McFeely [10:27]: "Don't dump in the Duncan. There's people eating there, and the bathroom is attached to the dining room."
• Brett [16:39]: "Public restrooms are available. You can go to the free ones... Just be considerate."

Their closing remarks blend humor with a call for better restroom maintenance and etiquette, leaving listeners both entertained and reflective.

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Final Remarks

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully combines humor with incisive commentary on everyday issues. Through lively discussions and memorable quotes, John Holmberg and his co-hosts shed light on the often-overlooked topic of public restroom reliability and etiquette, all while keeping their audience thoroughly entertained.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments were omitted as per the episode's content guidelines to focus solely on the main discussion points.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up North features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for.

[Larry McFeely]

The amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Brett]

And.

[Larry McFeely]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com the best of homework's morning sickness on 98 KUPD. Did you see the dude at. You probably have it in the story. The Dunkin Donuts toilet exploded. This is. This is why I don't go in public restrooms. This is why I like how they.

[Brett]

Talked to the one of the employees over there. Yeah, it been happening for a while.

[Larry McFeely]

He'd been gurgling. It was kind of like a volcano.

[Brett]

Had a couple of people. That already happened, too.

[Larry McFeely]

They had some seismic activity that they're like, something ain't right. But they never called, you know, precision plumbing and got Eric Bryant's gang over there to do some work and fix the toilets. But the toilet exploded. Exploded. It didn't just bubble up. It exploded to the point where the man has injuries.

[Brett]

Severely injured. I don't know if it's a. Well, mental trauma.

[Larry McFeely]

That too.

[Brett]

But he came out of the toilet, out of the bathroom, back into the main, you know, where the counter Duncan covered in feek and urine and Tempe's or whatever else. Whatever else came up. Vesuvius.

[Larry McFeely]

It's bad. So, yeah, he went in his name is Kerouac. Not like the beat poet Jack Kerouac, but it's the same name. And the staff actually told him, which is even worse. When you're covered in blown up Dunkin Donuts toilet and you come out go, hey, what gives? And the staff's like, yeah, that's been going on for a while. Like, oh, you sons of bitches. He's only suing for 50 grand. I'd own all the Duncans. I would make sure I had. I would make sure I had the best lawyers in the world and I'd own all the Duncans. If a toilet under me explodes in a public restroom, that's the end of that place. It is now. Homeburg Dunkin Donuts.

[Brett]

Sorry for that, sir. You want some chocolate munchkins?

[Larry McFeely]

You get one. Three dozen. Now go wipe yourself off. I'm not going back in the bathroom. The toilet exploded. I didn't even know that was a thing. Things.

[Brett]

But I'm. I'm picturing. Is it one of those high pressure ones?

[Larry McFeely]

What does that mean? You know when real hard. I don't know. It's high pressure coming back. I'll tell you that. But again, if you're. Don't. And why are you spending so much time at Dunkin Donuts that you're actually sitting down?

[Brett]

Maybe he's a sit to PE guy.

[Larry McFeely]

I don't see sit to PE guys already have a thing where we're not doing that in public. You stand to pee in someone's at home. I sit to pee. You don't sit to pee. I sit to pee here because it's my own private throne. But.

[Brett]

He'S tired and he was a regular and that was his spot. That's every morning at 7.

[John Holmberg]

Hey.

[Larry McFeely]

The old morning show from KSLX used to do that. And just at Duncan. Kill the pain off the walls here at the building. I don't understand. Poof.

[Brett]

7:15 on the reg, man, your eyes.

[Larry McFeely]

Would water walking down the hall. Yeah. And their diets. I don't know what was going into. Something's dying inside there. Don't go to the Dunk. Don't do that to the Duncan. The Duncan and I. Larry David had that when he started his coffee shop. That was a no defecation zone. He started just urinals and people would come in and go, where's the toilet? Like next door. You don't do that here. You don't. There's no defecating. You're not in the shop long enough. You shouldn't Be spending that much time in a Dunkin Donuts where you're thinking, you know, I should probably take a here at Dunkin. Go home for a few minutes. You're sick, something's wrong. You're physically not well. If you can't control your time in a Dunkin without having a deuce and I'll get the emails. What about an emergency that's proof you're sick? Healthy people don't have fecal emergencies. Something's not right with you. Stay home that day I just had to go. Well then go home. Clinch up until you can get home I wasn't anywhere near my house and the emergency happened. Well, sorry. Duncan shouldn't be the one that pays for that.

[Brett]

That's why back in the day they still have it. The gas stations have either a five pound weight or a mallet. You have to do the walk of shame going to the bathroom or the.

[Larry McFeely]

Big hubcap back in the day. Cuz they know as we know what.

[Brett]

You'Re going to do.

[Larry McFeely]

We know what you're going to do if you're willing to carry the wheel. Otherwise a decent man would say I'm not carrying that wheel. I know what that I'm going to pee on the side of the gas station when nobody's looking. We're men. The only reason to go get that wheel and the key from a gas station is because you've got something going on. My dad was one of those guys. I think he took dumps everywhere. He went restaurants. But he was in construction. He had to be used to that. He had his own trailer and stuff now back in the day.

[Brett]

But think about that when he's still swinging a hammer.

[Larry McFeely]

I'm sure.

[Brett]

Think about your dad, Brett, because you had. You didn't have any options.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

You're on the road.

[Larry McFeely]

Get out of the truck and drop a deuce. This guy said. Did Brady just slyly admit to being a toilet connoisseur? He knows the difference between high pressure. Maybe it's time for Brady to hike rim to rim and relieve Kirby's misery. Yeah, that's true. You know too much about toile. I don't know anything. I just know which those Japanese ones are the good ones. And all the rest are kind of the same. I didn't know about blowing up. I never heard of that. What are the signs? It'd have to gurgle, right? It would warn you. Toilets just don't spontaneously explode. Yeah, it would have to let you know because of that story. I saw the article that Said other freak accidents with toilets in the past. One dude who was on death row went to go poop on one of those tin toilets in his cel and somehow had gotten electrified and slow burned him right there while he took his last duke. Yeah, it killed him. And then there was a couple, you know, a couple others that are like, some guy got killed on it. And then they had one in England that they wanted people to stop peeing publicly. So they had this thing that would lift out of the ground, like hit a button and it was like a foof come out of the ground. You could use it. And one guy got in there and he started to use it and the thing malfunctioned and sucked him down into it.

[John Holmberg]

Down.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah. And then one. Of course, the one that everybody knows the true story that everybody's horrified of is 1947. It was on a. Or 87. It was on a plane. And the old lady flushed and the suction got weird because she was still sitting down. And it gutted her from her. From her holes out. Jesus. Because it vacuum sealed her onto the toilet seat and then threw her. Bung, bung. Took out organs.

[Brett]

Rosebud.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, that's. It wasn't a beehive wheel for me. It was a beehive. And then it started tumbling out. But you gotta think about, like they always say you got like 107,000 miles of intestines that would never stop pulling.

[Brett]

Yeah, 29ft or whatever.

[Larry McFeely]

She got inside out of there. It sucked out several feet of her intestines in her body. And she survived, actually. And you know how they landed and then the medical helicopter took her from the airport to a hospital and they stuffed it all back in there. I would never sit on a toilet seat in an airport in an airplane. Not because I know better. I just. That horrifies me that something could go wrong. Not even that the toilet would go wrong. That's how they find me when the plane goes down. Because I can't get me. Like, you know, your pants are on your ankles. Your pants are on my ankles. And I'm sitting there covered in that. I just don't like the. I'll pee in there, but I don't. I don't like, stay. I get in and out of the airplane bath, but quickly. I didn't mind the setjet one. That was actually really nice. I've been in people's houses with worse bathrooms than what was in setjet. It popped in there and a nice mirror. Everything looked good. Like I could. If this thing goes Down. I'd be happy in this. Like, find me in here. That's not bad. Still a private jet. You're still doing all right. Visit Holmberg's morning sickness [e-mail] College hoops.

[Diane Fisher]

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[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car, and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry? Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Brett]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Larry McFeely]

Not at all. It takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do it while you wait.

[Brett]

That's awesome.

[Larry McFeely]

I'll say. We're Amco. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more home birds. Morning sickness, but, you know, nothing worse than being the dude with his pants down on Spirit Airlines. And you're in the middle of a crash. They even have bathrooms on Spirit. Yeah, I think you just go in the aisle. Yeah, well, it's at each seat there's a bucket.

[Brett]

Youngest one has to throw it out.

[Larry McFeely]

When the flight lands as you walk in. All right, folks, get your tray tables and seats up and put a cap on your piss jars. We're about to land. Yeah, I don't. I'm not. But the Dunkin Donuts, they. They don't deserve that you don't have. Don't poop at the Duncan. Everybody's always like, shouldn't we be courteous to each other? That's where it should start.

[Brett]

Don't you think Ben Affleck addressed that? There's no next Dunkin spots.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, just don't dump in the Dunkin. There's people eating there, and the bathroom is, like, attached to the dining room. It's like having a kitchen Bathroom. You just don't dump at the Dunkin' they should. I mean there's where respect starts and ends. To me, if you're willing to take a. Where people eat and walk out, like that's okay. It's gross. It's just gross. But people are gross. And I guess that's where it comes from. Don't poop at the Duncan. Can we have that 2024 rule? Can some of you just sit back and go, my resolution for 2024 has come up. Dump in restaurants anymore.

[Brett]

I went by Duncan this morning.

[Larry McFeely]

Did you drop a deuce?

[Brett]

No.

[Larry McFeely]

You're a decent human being. Thanks for that. It's just not right. You know what we should start. This is actually a pretty good idea. You know, take all the bathrooms out of Duncan's, all the poop places and then like, you know, have like restroom stores, you know, like a.

[Brett]

Well, they do it, you know, certain malls.

[Larry McFeely]

Well no, no, no. I don't even want it near another store. A standalone.

[Brett]

It's just like a convenience stop.

[Larry McFeely]

Couple bucks to get in and then you go in there and you, you drop a deuce. You do your business. It's a public restroom, although it costs. And then we take all. And it's the only place you can go. And that would force people to learn how to sphincter up and go home and poop.

[Brett]

They tried to do that with rest areas but then those got ruined.

[Larry McFeely]

But right, because they were free. The bigger problem was they were free. They were free priest.

[Brett]

George Michael got involved and they had to shut down.

[Larry McFeely]

You want to go inside there and get blown by a priest? Two dollars. Cost you two bucks to get in. Have added inside special little doors. Two bucks. Two bucks. Five bucks. Call Father Dale. Oh, he'll do it for. Set it up for you. He's the Phoenix. If you want to do that, no more.

[Brett]

You still have to donate.

[Larry McFeely]

No more fast food restaurants. If you go into my business, which is just toilets, it's just called John's. We'll call it John. And you go in there for two bucks. It's the only place sit down toilets exist anymore. McDonald's only has stand ups. You can only pee in public places. And if you've got to go on every. It would be like Starbucks. They'd be everywhere. And that way, yeah, the disgusting poop people have a place to go. My old landscaper, Jeff, I wouldn't let him in the house. I'm like, there are places for you and you. I have to go real bad. I'm Like, I'm sorry, not letting you in the house to poop. It's not happening. You should have thought of this before. Plan your day better. It's an emergency. Then you're sick and you shouldn't be at work. Go home. He went in the alley and he took a dump. Should have thought about it before you got those carne asada fries at Filiberto's on your way over. Exactly. There's another thing. Monitor your diet when you've got a full day away from toilets. I know that if I'm not gonna see a toilet for nine hours because I'm an outdoor worker and I can't rely. And I can no longer rely on the Dunkin or Taco Bell or wherever else is close. I'm not gonna suck down the Thai noodles. It's not happening. I'm not going to Chipotle for lunch. I might have.

[Brett]

That's the thing I think about, like on Brett.

[Larry McFeely]

Find myself airlines.

[Brett]

Like a 17 hour flight.

[Larry McFeely]

Don't eat crazy before.

[Brett]

Well, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

What?

[Brett]

You've done 17 hours.

[Larry McFeely]

You have? Yeah. Look at him. He's taking dumps on a plane.

[Brett]

I can't recall.

[Larry McFeely]

You would know that. You not recalling is a tell.

[Brett]

Well, I mean, that's the amount of times that I've flown over them.

[Larry McFeely]

You know, if you've been. You know, if you've been in a airplane toilet and dropped a dude. But is that an exception? Like you said, you flew to Australia. Did you hold it the whole. Of course I held it all. Australia.

[Brett]

I don't think I could.

[Larry McFeely]

I pooped once in Australia. I'm a home pooper. I know that. But I struggle to go anywhere. I went down to the lobby bathroom about nine days in and said, I think today's the day. Had a nice little thing. Two more days later, we're on a plane heading home. I was fine. Got to the house and an ungodly amount of me came out. Mind over matter. They say that's not healthy. Maybe not. But the last thing I wanted to do was share a hotel room with somebody that was comfortable doing it, too. Yeah, the Johns. Johns leave the poor folks at Duncan alone. In fact, I hope toilets start exploding more often and discourages people to do this. I like this idea. Public restrooms are available. You can go to the free ones. But there's a chance you're gonna get blown by a priest against your will. My place is monitored. There's, you know, nice little setup. A lobby can sit and wait your turn. There's a We pay people pretty well to go in and clean. And it's specifically and only for that. You don't come out and order donuts or go in with donuts. Even worse, there's a few guys who have a box of donuts. Like, man, I'm gonna have my bag of donuts and go in there and do my business. Just be considerate, that's all. If there's a room full of people eating delicious donuts or ordering breakfast, sitting.

[Brett]

On the throne, throwing the munchkin up in the air, trying to catch you see him roll out from under the stall.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, give me that back. Give me that back. That's a good one. A lot of sugar left on that. It's a cinnamon. Yeah, he's doing the pop in his mouth because, you know, he's got nothing but time on his hands and he's got a routine. You can't sit with a box of munchkins and not tap. You're going in. I love you, John, but for someone as American proud as you are, you have some commie ideas. Literally. Only commie countries have public restrooms you have to pay for. Well, the reason why is because they got tired of people taking at Dunkin. Not all commie ideas are bad. That's a good one if you're, you know. Look, there's too many people dropping deuces at Dunkin. It's less considerate. I'm not saying it's mandatory. I'm just saying wouldn't it be better if there were just a specific place designed for that? It's not a commie idea. If you think it's communist that you can't take on people while they eat, I'd rather live in a communist nation. It's out of control now.

[Wayne]

Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 and McClintock. Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, Dewalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] cup KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order. Remember when you mention this ad, Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.