Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcasts - January 20, 2025

Episode Title: Megan's Thinking Ice Cream Made Her Nipples Hurt
Release Date: January 20, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Introduction to Comedy Events (00:00 - 00:31)

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg sharing information about upcoming comedy shows in the Arizona Valley. He highlights performances at various venues:

• Tempe Improv:

  • Paul Versey on Thursday
  • Beth Stelling on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

• Desert Ridge Improv (Up North):

  • Sarah Weinschenk on Thursday
  • Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday

• Stand Up Live (Downtown):

  • Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

John provides ticket information, directing listeners to the respective websites: standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com, and tempeimprov.com.

The Main Discussion: Megan's Ice Cream Incident (00:31 - 10:27)

Brady Bogen introduces the central topic of the episode: Megan's unusual claim that eating ice cream caused her nipples to ache. The conversation unfolds with a blend of humor and bewilderment.

• Brady's Initial Reaction (00:31 - 01:47):
  Brady shares an anecdote about Megan rubbing her breasts while watching TV, leading to his confusion and frustration.

  Brady (01:30): "I'm looking at her, I'm like, hey, Google, at our disposal, there's more information in the human hand now than has ever existed through time."

• Larry's Claim (01:57 - 02:36):
  Larry chimes in, reiterating that his nipples hurt after eating ice cream.

  Larry (02:08): "I think the ice cream's making my nipples hurt."

• Brady's Skepticism (02:36 - 05:25):
  Brady challenges the validity of the claim, questioning the physiology behind the connection. He humorously suggests that unless ice cream is physically applied to the nipples, ingestion shouldn't cause such pain.

  Brady (03:10): "Nothing about ice cream that might work travels directly to the nipple when you swallow."

• Speculation on Causes (05:25 - 08:36):
  The discussion veers into various possible explanations, including the speed of eating ice cream, the type of ice cream (e.g., rocky road), and even unrelated activities like horse riding or wearing certain clothing.

  Brady (07:10): "What did you dismiss to come to the hypothesis that ice cream, like ingesting it, made your nipples start to kind of tingle?"

• Restless Leg Syndrome Tangent (08:43 - 10:27):
  The conversation briefly touches on Larry's comment about his mother's restless leg syndrome, which Brady dismisses humorously as a made-up condition to explain behavior. This tangent serves to emphasize the hosts' skepticism towards unconventional health claims.

  Brady (09:16): "Restless leg is a very real syndrome. I've heard of syndromes. I know you got one, too."

Anecdote: The McDonald's Drive-Thru Money Mix-Up (10:50 - 20:08)

Transitioning from health quirks, the hosts delve into a humorous and improbable story about a misdirected bag of money at a McDonald's drive-thru.

• Scenario Overview (13:00 - 15:00):
  A customer mistakenly receives a McDonald's bag containing thousands of dollars instead of his meal. The group speculates that this might be part of a covert drug deal, adding layers of absurdity to the tale.

  Brady (14:49): "$2,000 was exchanged through a drive thru window and we all know what that means in Maryvale. That's a drug deal. And he brought the money back because he is an idiot."

• Consequences and Reactions (15:00 - 17:54):
  The hosts humorously debate the rationale behind the customer's decision to return the money, suggesting it inadvertently saved McDonald's from potential complications. They mock the idea of high-stakes transactions occurring casually at fast-food establishments.

  Brady (17:15): "Never take drug money."

• Potential Outcomes (17:54 - 20:08):
  The discussion continues with Brady imagining various outcomes, including the McDonald's staff's relief and the customer's confused reaction. They humorously critique the lack of proper protocol in handling such an event.

  Brady (19:30): "What are you doing with it? Keeping it cash. If it's drug money, they can't find me."

Final Remarks and Additional Humor (20:08 - 21:09)

The episode wraps up with light-hearted banter and reflections on the discussed topics.

• Name Pronunciation Joke (20:14 - 21:09):
  The hosts joke about the difficulty of pronouncing certain names, tying it back to the absurdity of the earlier stories.

  Brady (20:14): "Imagine her trying to do that in a She's got a trip to Japan. What your name? I call you Susie. No way."

Notable Quotes

• Brady on Megan's Claim (03:28):

  "She finally figured it out."

• Larry on Ice Cream's Effect (02:23):

  "I think the ice cream's making my nipples hurt."

• Brady on the Absurdity of the Claim (04:26):

  "Unless you're resting them in ice cold ice cream for hours on end. Nothing about ice cream that might work travels directly to the nipple when you swallow."

• Brady on the McDonald's Anecdote (14:49):

  "$2,000 was exchanged through a drive thru window and we all know what that means in Maryvale. That's a drug deal."

• Brady on Integrity (16:42):

  "The only advice I have is do good people. It's called integrity. Doing the right thing even when no one is looking. What a pussy."

Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" masterfully blends humor with baffling health claims and absurd anecdotes. The hosts navigate Megan's perplexing assertion about ice cream-induced nipple pain with a mix of skepticism and comedic ridicule. Transitioning seamlessly, they entertain listeners with an exaggerated tale of a McDonald's drive-thru mix-up, highlighting their knack for turning mundane topics into engaging comedic content. For those seeking a light-hearted and entertaining morning show, this episode exemplifies why "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" remains Arizona's #1 morning radio program.