BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - THURSDAY - March 13, 2025 - Brady Report - MIX - 8x - Brady Loses Date When At Home Covid Test Go Away - March 2024

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - THURSDAY

Episode Overview: Released on March 13, 2025, this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD features host John Holmberg alongside Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. The episode delves into a variety of topics ranging from parenting strategies among millennials, the cessation of at-home COVID-19 test kits, quirky consumer behavior, to amusing takes on time travel and current events.

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1. Parenting in the Millennial Era

Discussion Highlights: The team explores the evolving landscape of parenting, emphasizing how millennial parents believe they are outperforming previous generations in raising their children.

• Millennial Confidence: Eddie cites, “73% of millennial parents think they're doing a better job with their kids than their own parents did” (04:40).

• Gentle Parenting: The conversation delves into the top parenting strategies, notably gentle parenting, which avoids rigid demands and encourages decision-making alongside children.

• Mental Health Focus: With 80% of millennial parents prioritizing discussions about mental health, the panel debates the balance between support and over-pathologizing normal emotions.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “Every depression doesn't mean your kid's clinically depressed. Fact. And every happy thing doesn't mean they're bipolar” (03:44).
• Dick Toledo: “I'm doing a better job than that mfer with my kids” (05:31).

Insights: The panel acknowledges the progress in fostering mental well-being among children while critiquing instances where overemphasis might lead to unnecessary interventions. They underscore the importance of finding a middle ground that balances discipline with emotional support.

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2. The End of At-Home COVID-19 Test Kits

Discussion Highlights: Brady Bogan reports on the discontinuation of at-home COVID-19 test kits, sparking a debate on the implications for public health and personal convenience.

• Transition Phase: Eddie mentions, “ordering at home Covid kits ends here” (01:35), indicating a shift in COVID-19 testing approaches.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “It's a whole story. A beginning, a middle, and an end” (02:23).

Insights: The team reflects on the pandemic's trajectory, discussing how the phasing out of at-home test kits signifies a move towards normalization and the potential challenges in maintaining public health vigilance.

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3. Quirky Consumer Behaviors and Promotions

Dairy Queen's Free Cone Day: Eddie announces Dairy Queen's spring promotion offering a free small vanilla cone (06:35), leading to a light-hearted debate about individual versus bulk purchases.

• Market Strategy: The hosts humorously analyze Dairy Queen's decision to sell bananas individually, tying it to a fictitious scenario involving a time-limited need for bananas.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “If you want Hawaiian noodles. All they got in California” (08:04).

Chick-fil-A's Polynesian Sauce Alert: Eddie informs listeners about potential issues with Chick-fil-A's Polynesian sauce dipping cups purchased between February 14th and 27th (07:56), emphasizing safety and consumer awareness.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “That's too far. And yes, it's easy to like Toledo. It's easy to do a better job than a guy that used to punch it for spilling water” (06:35).

Insights: The team uses these promotions and consumer habits to entertain and engage listeners, blending humor with practical advice on navigating everyday deals and potential product recalls.

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4. The Return of Toupees and Hair Solutions

Discussion Highlights: Eddie shares a New York Post story about the resurgence of toupees, highlighting advancements that make them more realistic and convenient than ever before.

• Modern Toupee Features: Real hair integration, durable stitching, and ease of application are showcased as improvements over past iterations.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “Even if you're wearing a hat, you're still bald” (17:36).
• Eddie: “There’s a guy in a video. Showing how he’s doing it” (16:34).

Insights: The conversation pokes fun at the practicality and aesthetics of modern toupees, while also acknowledging the broader implications for self-image and consumer choices in hair restoration solutions.

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5. Time Travel and Viral Claims

Discussion Highlights: The panel examines a viral claim from the New York Post about a 1917 photograph purportedly showing a modern-day individual, igniting debates about the plausibility of time travel.

• Skeptical Analysis: John Holmberg debunks the idea, highlighting inconsistencies and the lack of credible evidence supporting time travel theories.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “Time travel and tell them. Prove it” (23:05).
• Eddie: “It's real, man. He time travels” (20:23).

Insights: Through humor and critical thinking, the team addresses sensational claims, reinforcing the importance of skepticism and evidence-based conclusions in the age of viral misinformation.

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6. Current Events and Listener Interactions

Maple Syrup Reserve Crisis: Eddie reports on Canada’s maple syrup reserve hitting a 16-year low due to climate change impacts, sparking a brief discussion on environmental challenges.

• Supply Concerns: The reserve, intended to hold 133 million pounds, dwindled to 6.9 million pounds in 2023, underscoring the tangible effects of global warming.

Notable Quotes:

• Eddie: “Global warming, climate change. They’re saying the warmer weather disrupts production” (14:19).

Wild World Segment: Brady Bogan introduces Emma Keane's harrowing encounter with a yak during her Mount Everest trek for charity, blending storytelling with lighthearted commentary.

• Humorous Take: The hosts laugh over the exaggeration of yaks’ behavior and the implausibility of such an event, maintaining a comedic tone.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “He threw up in the air. Are you confessing to being a yak?” (19:06).

Insights: The inclusion of current events and listener stories adds variety to the podcast, allowing for both informative and entertaining segments that resonate with a broad audience.

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7. Humorous Banter and Team Dynamics

Ongoing Jests: Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in playful teasing and banter, such as mocking each other’s math skills or debating the authenticity of kondiments in drawers.

• Team Chemistry: This dynamic fosters a relatable and enjoyable listening experience, as listeners are treated to the natural camaraderie among the hosts.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “He said. Yeah, he got it because you did the math for him” (12:55).
• Dick Toledo: “If you had a time machine and somebody said, don’t use this for bad. Oh, okay” (24:35).

Insights: The hosts’ interactions enhance the podcast’s appeal, providing both depth in discussions and light-hearted moments that keep the audience engaged.

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness effectively blends serious discussions on parenting and environmental issues with humorous takes on everyday quirks and sensational stories. Through engaging dialogue, notable quotes, and a well-structured flow, the hosts deliver a comprehensive and entertaining summary of various topics, making it accessible and enjoyable for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Dick Toledo: “I'm like, look, this is a thing you're going through” (00:43).
• John Holmberg: “Buck up” (04:02).
• Eddie: “Some people keep ketchup” (10:29).
• John Holmberg: “They'd give Brady” (01:35).
• Eddie: “It's real, man. He time travels” (20:23).

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Final Thoughts: Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to solidify its position as Arizona's #1 morning radio show by balancing insightful conversations with humor and relatability. This episode exemplifies how diverse topics can be seamlessly integrated into an engaging narrative, ensuring listeners are both informed and entertained.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady Bogan]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns at the corner of 12th street and Indian School in Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness. 98 KUPD it's time for the Brady Report, brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio shades gotta have shade if you're living in this state because we got a lot of sun and where there's sun, there's heat. And where there's heat, there's sun. I don't know, there's light. You want shade? Put some shade on that and all Pro Shade concepts 20 years in the Valley helping out, they got Brady's house all hooked up, ready to go. Brace that he had over 1,000ft of shade, which confused people. Brady forgets to say square feet, which makes it feel like you've got 1,000ft of shade. That is a lot of shade. But a thousand square feet of shade is a hell of a hell of a push. But if you guys want to get in on this thing, having an outdoor space where you can actually be super comfortable, they will make it happen. All you have to do is get your estimate [e-mail] get it rolling and have the shade installed before summer gets here. That's for sure.

[Eddie]

Brady reported this will be the last. Let's see, ordering at home Covid kits ends here. I think it's.

[John Holmberg]

You're holding the paper. Quit thinking.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank God we're off next week. We need a reset.

[Eddie]

We need a reset.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this.

[Ronnie]

Pretty sure the thing I was reading to you.

[Eddie]

Are you sure it's ending?

[Ronnie]

Somewhere in all these words is the information on when that's going to end.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even over.

[Ronnie]

I'm not really into the whole read the story I'm holding idea.

[Eddie]

I like to Wing it. They announced it Tuesday. The at home kits. And today.

[John Holmberg]

Today's today. There you go. There you go. That's a whole story. A beginning, a middle, and an end.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a first for everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got to take next week off. Somebody's got to breathe. Give him the air, Cohagon.

[Eddie]

73% of millennial parents think they're doing a better job with their kids than their own parents did. They're not. Did it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. You're there. Yeah. I mean, easiest one for me to get attendance. And you' won the game.

[Eddie]

According to the poll, here are the top four parenting strategies they're using the most that their parents didn't. Gentle parenting guides children through the decision making process without the parent setting demands and rules.

[John Holmberg]

Demands and rules. How dare you, as a parent. All right, that's better. That's what people consider where we get advice.

[Eddie]

24% have gotten parenting advice from social media, but other than that, it hasn't really changed much. Being an open. Being open about mental health. Your own parents might have just told you to buck up.

[John Holmberg]

And they weren't wrong.

[Eddie]

But 80% of millennial parents think discussions about mental health and emotional well being are important.

[John Holmberg]

I've had that. Yes. And there's two sides to that. Every depression doesn't mean your kid's clinically depressed. Fact. And every. Every happy thing doesn't mean they're bipolar.

[Dick Toledo]

That was the thing I had to tell Alex. I'm like, look, this is a thing you're going through.

[John Holmberg]

Buck up.

[Eddie]

Right?

[Dick Toledo]

You get out of it. And he has.

[John Holmberg]

Toughen up, buttercup.

[Eddie]

Two thirds say their own parents never did that.

[John Holmberg]

Talk to them about mental health. Yeah, well, my dad said he would make me retarded a few times. Hey, we talked about mental health.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You keep this up, I'm gonna scramble your brains. You think you're depressed now? That was a big one. You think you're sad now? Keep it up.

[Eddie]

Huh?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, that was the one when Alex told me he's gonna contact cps.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, you told him. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm getting my money's worth.

[John Holmberg]

All right then.

[Dick Toledo]

Does that mean.

[John Holmberg]

You'll see.

[Dick Toledo]

Go ahead, call.

[John Holmberg]

Pick up the phone. I have.

[Dick Toledo]

You think they're gonna show right up?

[John Holmberg]

8 minutes to destroy your world, then I'm gonna call the police because the murder's gonna trump your. He treats me bad.

[Dick Toledo]

I was told long ago. Leave one story, Alex.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, mine. Put the phone down, Trey.

[Eddie]

The last one is being present with your kids. 80% of millennial parents Claim they always try to prioritize their kids over work. 77% think they're more present with their children than their own parents were with them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, there was a lot our parents did right and a lot they did wrong. But to dismiss it all and make every time your kid sniffles depression that needs pills is the bigger issue. It's not working. Somewhere in between happy medium of like knocking them around a little bit and making sure that they're mentally okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Real quick. We are unearthing when you scratch the mental health thing with our listeners. John, you know I spilled water on the floor on Christmas Eve. Still remember it to this day. My father beat me bloody.

[John Holmberg]

That's too.

[Dick Toledo]

So you're goddamn right. I'm doing better job than that mfer with my kids.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Well, there's an extreme example. If you were beaten bloody at any point, that's the curve. Right. That's polarity is what I'm saying. Somewhere in the middle I believe was the phrase I used. Between beating someone bloody and then giving them pills every time they act sad, if they see a sad movie, you don't pull them up. And if they spill a glass of water, you don't beat them up somewhere. Somewhere kind of like, you know, you try to go through the bridge. Not through the bridge.

[Eddie]

Chance of being a better parent, right?

[John Holmberg]

Much better. If you're looking at all angles and saying, you know, somewhere in the middle is a nice. But if your kid's bleeding because there's water on the floor, that's too far. And yes, it's easy to like Toledo. It's easy to do a better job than a guy that used to punch it for spilling water.

[Eddie]

Dairy Queen is celebrating the arrival of spring with free cone day. Go there right now.

[John Holmberg]

There ice cream in it.

[Eddie]

You get a small vanilla cone.

[Dick Toledo]

All guests, 755.

[Eddie]

Limit of one per person. As soon as they open, I think See you Brady. Like 11 o'clock. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They open at 11.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm guessing and you're guessing.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty educated guy.

[Eddie]

I didn't know this. In the northern hemisphere, spring officially begins the vernal equinox. I know that part, but I didn't know it happens twice a year. Year.

[John Holmberg]

What did you know? Vernal equinox.

[Eddie]

The vernal equinox, which occurs between March 19 and and the 21st, depending on the year equinox. The equinox happens twice a year at the points of the earth tilt towards the sun.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Eddie]

I always thought it was just one Day.

[John Holmberg]

Take some time to Equinox.

[Eddie]

Equinox ain't easy.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Eddie]

A couple of basis fun facts. Everything is bigger in Texas, including the Dairy Queens. The fleet of Dairy Queens.

[John Holmberg]

Were you sponsored by Dairy Queen today?

[Ronnie]

What's going on?

[Eddie]

Texas has 581 dairy queens.

[Dick Toledo]

In other Dairy Queen news, it's the.

[John Holmberg]

Biggest state with a lot of people in it. That makes sense.

[Eddie]

Ohio has the second 250.

[John Holmberg]

There's where your problems.

[Eddie]

Oh, wait.

[John Holmberg]

California's not second. There's 34 million people in California. They don't have more Dairy Queens than Ohio.

[Brady Bogan]

If you want Hawaiian noodles. All they got in California.

[John Holmberg]

You fat.

[Eddie]

Houston. Houston alone has 25 Dairy Queen locations. The Netherlands set up.

[John Holmberg]

I know what's gonna happen about 10:18 today. We're gonna be sitting in the office.

[Ronnie]

You're getting an offer from Houston. We should take it.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Ronnie]

We should move to Houston. Seems like a place I'd fit right in.

[Eddie]

Little update from Chick Fil A. Any customers that have Polynesian sauce dipping cups. If they took a couple home and they got them between February 14th and the 27th, throw them away.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Because they. It's not the right sauce and it might contain.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there are people who go there and just take the sauce home.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

If they haven't used it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Where the hell you been, John?

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute.

[Eddie]

You've never had Taco Bell hot packets left over from a meal? Yeah, they just throw them over in a cabin. There's people that storm they'll have.

[Brady Bogan]

I've seen that actually.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

The whole condiment drawer?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

The only ones we save are the soy sauce packets because we don't have soy sauce.

[Eddie]

Some people will do the sriracha in.

[John Holmberg]

The packets or you just stuff them.

[Eddie]

In the first every now and then. Now that. Now it got so popular that people. Now you can buy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I get.

[Eddie]

Buy that Polynesian sauce.

[John Holmberg]

But the Polynesian sauce, aren't you using it?

[Eddie]

Sometimes you get too many packets.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Eddie]

And rather than throwing it away, they keep it.

[John Holmberg]

But what else do you use it for? You're just going to go to Chick Fil A and get more. You'll always have too much.

[Eddie]

Oh, you can put it on other stuff. If you have. If you make chicken at home, I.

[John Holmberg]

Suppose, and you're using Chick Fil A Polynesian sauce, which I think if you're making chicken from home and using their.

[Eddie]

Sauce, just go there between the 14th and 27th. If you have any of that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Be careful with your it's the real deal.

[John Holmberg]

Surplus of Polynesian sauce.

[Eddie]

Important update.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you just tossed it. You used what you used, and you throw the rest away. Waste. That's what we do. We're Americans. We waste it.

[Dick Toledo]

One of our listeners is wondering why this wasn't in our new releases on Tuesday.

[John Holmberg]

I have a song called Jews with Kanye. Now, according to this, and I like your stage name. Yeah. Hebrew H. Thank you, listeners, for really running with that yarn. I'm still blowing.

[Eddie]

You're the new double eight.

[John Holmberg]

Do you keep the ketchup? Where do you draw the line?

[Eddie]

Some people keep ketchup.

[Dick Toledo]

The packet bottle in my fridge.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, There's. I've seen people with a. Like, it's like a junk drawer. They just have all kinds.

[John Holmberg]

I remember, as a joke, looking here in the.

[Eddie]

Maybe here in the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

Does anyone use it? It just stays there forever. People actually break out into that drawer of.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I'm not saying they do, but it happens.

[Eddie]

I don't know. There used to be.

[Brady Bogan]

There used to be a drawer of condiments.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

There was.

[Brady Bogan]

The old building.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I never used it, but.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that's because they were there for.

[John Holmberg]

15 years, I'm sure.

[Eddie]

I think there's a part of guilt reason, like, I don't want to throw these unused packets away. Maybe someone will like them.

[John Holmberg]

One time, 25 years ago, we were collecting them for work lunches, and my friend and I handed them out for Halloween.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because we're like, nobody ever uses the leftover ones, but I guess we should have just given them to Brady. Yeah. We were giving Kimlan and all sorts of stuff to kids for Halloween. Packets, like, from March. We didn't care.

[Eddie]

Fresh red pepper packets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We were kind of joke piling those for the pizzas on Sunday. Got a ton of those. We're never gonna use them.

[Eddie]

I know. They'll be in that drawer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because the next time I get pizza, they're gonna give me more. I will never not have enough. Throwing them out keeps me even.

[Eddie]

Say, no. Use the ones that you have.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I should just give it back to the pizza guy when he shows up here. We're not using them. More important for you, there's a pile of these.

[Eddie]

Trader Joe's announced they're raising the price of a single banana for the first time in over two decades. Went from 19 cents to 23 cents. It's only 4 cents, but we know.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

It's a special day.

[Eddie]

That's a 21% jump.

[John Holmberg]

We understand. 4 cents.

[Ronnie]

That's 4 cents for those of you not in the know.

[Eddie]

That's not how it was said. I said, that's only 4 cents. No, you said that's 4. 21%.

[John Holmberg]

We're laughing because you said that's 4 cents, like you were revealing the big math equation. We wouldn't have laughed. You said, that's only 4 cents, but thanks. Yeah. If you had a scruff, I'd pick you up by it and I'd set you outside for a minute.

[Eddie]

The whole reason they sell them individually.

[Brady Bogan]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

See? You know it's bad when you got him on those. He's gone.

[Eddie]

I'm just happy he got that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, he got it because you. You did the math for him.

[Eddie]

That's the only reason I did it. Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Put the pencil down. You're never gonna get there. Brett has to be naked to count to 21. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Eddie]

The whole reason they sold the bananas individually is the CEO saw a lady grab a bunch and then put them back. He asked her why she didn't pull the trigger on the entire banana purchase. She told him, sonny, I may not live for that fourth banana. So then he decided, let's just sell them individually then.

[John Holmberg]

That's how come they sell bananas off the. Off the bunch. Because some old dog wasn't gonna live broke Broad was that she had two days to live and she wanted four bananas.

[Eddie]

I didn't think she'd make it to the fourth banana.

[John Holmberg]

She. But what a. Bananas last a week, maybe a little longer. Max hops. Yeah. And she's at Trader Joe's knocking down the bananas and cares if she wastes one. Get in the box immediately.

[Eddie]

Canada's maple syrup reserve hits an all time low. A 16 year low. The Reserve is in Quebec. It's designed to hold 133 million pounds of maple syrup. 2023. The supply fell to 6.9 million pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Are you all right?

[Eddie]

Global warming, climate change. They're saying the warmer weather disrupts production.

[Dick Toledo]

Trees still make SAP, though, right? Whether it's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I mean, they still have a 6.9 million ton reserve.

[John Holmberg]

6.9 million tons is what they said.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's a lot.

[Eddie]

But at one time it was 133 million.

[Dick Toledo]

Like oil. We're just. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We can't artificially make syrup.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. No, majority of it is artificially.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say McDonald's isn't the.

[Eddie]

Syrup, but real maple syrup. If you're a purist, it's a lot more expensive.

[John Holmberg]

I can't tell you purest. I don't know if you could fool me with it.

[Eddie]

There's a difference.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Pizza Hut today announced it will celebrate the solar eclipse occurring April 8 with a new pizza deal dubbing it the total eclipse of the Hut.

[John Holmberg]

You can't see half of your pizza, but you get the full charge.

[Eddie]

12 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a pizza with a funny name.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Total eclipse of the Hut.

[John Holmberg]

I heard it.

[Eddie]

Four cents.

[John Holmberg]

You have a thing today. You're special today. And I like it. I like this. You. I like it because of what it does to him, too. Because he's off. He's off the chair. I know. So stupid.

[Eddie]

I don't think it was said like that.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing better than him rolling down the road, laughing.

[Eddie]

The New York Post did a write up on a thing that's back in a big way. Toupees dupes are back. They've gotten a lot better since their heyday in the 80s. The good ones use real hair that's stitched into a piece of polyester that was their heyday. Thin enough to sweat through. You glue it onto your scalp, get you the exact haircut you want. You can shower in it. You can go six months before it needs to be reapplied. Ah, there's a guy in a video.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a stink.

[Eddie]

Showing how he's doing it. They're cheaper than the surgeries.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, a whole lot less painful. Doug Hopkins got that front notch put on. He told me it was a nightmare of pain. But now he's got the hair that Hermey had in the Rudolph special up front. Just a big, wavy, curly, beautiful head of hair.

[Eddie]

You're gonna like this next story, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is the toupee. This guy strapping on a toupee right here.

[Eddie]

And he shows you.

[John Holmberg]

I've never seen the actual application.

[Eddie]

Well, he just shows you the front part. You can see how thin the. He goes. I didn't glue it all the way just to show you the flap.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, you gotta log in or something. I think I get the gist of it. Little Elmer's flap on the hair. Off you go.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

To be one of the world's best.

[Eddie]

He says he's naturally bald, but he's doing it just to see what looks like. He goes, I probably won't. I may. I'll remain bald.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what?

[Eddie]

No, this is looking pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Hate to break it to you. Even if you're wearing a hat, you're still bald. You will remain bald even if you're wearing a little fake hat of hair, and it never matches on the side or the back. It's just Toupee guy. We all see it.

[Eddie]

And now it's time for a really quick Wild World.

[John Holmberg]

Okay? And go.

[Eddie]

Hello, my friends. I'm Brady Bogan, and this is your Wild, Wild World. We've got this Welsh woman who's on a trek to base camp in Mount Everest. She's doing it for a charity. Emma Keane is her name. She was FaceTiming her family before. She's getting ready to take the track.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And right in the middle of the FaceTime, she got eaten by something. A yak Gorder.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I didn't know yaks could do that. She said.

[Eddie]

I was speaking to my brother and his wife, showing him, you know, the beautiful hillside and getting ready to go on this trek without warning. I could hear the hooves pounding towards me. A sharp stabbing.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't it?

[Eddie]

Pain.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good warning.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but she's FaceTime.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's busy, but you can't say.

[Dick Toledo]

Without warning if you're hearing the hoots.

[John Holmberg]

She's going to go viral with this one.

[Eddie]

Threw her up in the air. I landed back down.

[John Holmberg]

I threw up in the air. Are you confessing to being a yak? You said, I threw her up in the air. Mike, are you a yak?

[Eddie]

Yak. Yakter. Anyway, she had a big hole in her leg from the horn, right? Went through her leggings, so they flew her to the air.

[John Holmberg]

You were filled with unnecessary extras today. Who cares about her pants?

[Eddie]

She's wearing leggings. She just went through her Lululemon.

[John Holmberg]

But I assumed her pants were ruined by the goring of her leg. You were superfluous.

[Eddie]

And she can get in line with all the other thousand people going to base camp for charity.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, that's not the picture.

[Eddie]

Of the actual yak.

[John Holmberg]

Don't disagree. That is over. Oh, this is a thank you. I didn't know that's what yaks look like.

[Eddie]

Nothing special.

[John Holmberg]

What's it a cow with? Like, it's a cow. Horse. Cow, cow, horse.

[Eddie]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Looks like somebody drew it. Bed. Like God went, whoops, I added horse to that. Oops, I added more cow. I can't fix this now it's kind of ox, Cow, horse. Jesus.

[Eddie]

That's your wild, wild world, huh?

[John Holmberg]

I hope she gets new pants.

[Eddie]

John, there's a photo from 1917 that has sparked claims that time travel is real. After a man was spotted in the snapshot. Looks like he's from the 20th century.

[John Holmberg]

Holding the cell phone.

[Eddie]

Some people are convinced he's a surfer from the 2000s.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Bodhi.

[Eddie]

So this guy. The picture was taken in Canada in 1917. There's a group of grown ups and kids sitting on a hill. Women are dressed in long skirts, and the gents are in the smart jackets and bowler hats. But what's really got everyone talking about is the one dude looks like he stepped out of the 20th century. He's easy to spot. He's in a baggy T shirt and shorts, messy hair.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, let's see this.

[Eddie]

Here's the distance shot. I'll show you the close up.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a blurry mess.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's a blurry mess. Now let's focus in. We'll have too much time on the surfer, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Eddie]

It's real, man. He time travels.

[John Holmberg]

He's still a human being. He's just not wearing one of the hats. I bet you took all these guys hats off.

[Eddie]

He's the only guy in T shirt shorts.

[John Holmberg]

That guy's in shorts right next to him.

[Eddie]

Well, okay, not in the shorts.

[Brady Bogan]

Wearing a sex wax T shirt or something or what?

[John Holmberg]

And maybe you just can't see that it's a. He just unbuttoned his shirt and he spilled something on it. He's just got a T shirt. Unless he's got a Make America great Again hat on. Stop with the time travel crap. He's got long hair. All of them do. There weren't Barb. There weren't super cuts back then the Canadian hillbillies. Probably poor. And then he took his. His hat off because he was probably hot. And they snapped the shot.

[Eddie]

No. Dude's checking out the waves, Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Of all people, time traveling. How is Spicoli gonna figure out his way back in time?

[John Holmberg]

And also he ends up on the side of a mountain and mining. That's the worst. If you can time travel, last thing you're doing is go do hard labor some other place. Whoa. We're strip mining, bro. Yesterday I was in Huntington. I was riding some cool waves, and I hit this machine. And now I'm with you dudes. That is a news story.

[Eddie]

Time travel.

[John Holmberg]

People can't just look at it and go, oh, dude, took his hat off. Nope. They think it's time travel, man. I am surrounded by morons. Not you guys. Although that does apply.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like one of our promo kits, right?

[John Holmberg]

Because humans have always looked pretty much like that. It's only been a hundred and something years. Styles Change. But a dude put a dirty shirt on and a pair of shorts to work the mine. The guy next to him has shorts on. Evidently Canadians wore shorts.

[Eddie]

A guy in Texas is running for president after officially changing his name to literally anybody else. First name, literally.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Eddie]

Even has it on his driver's license. A judge approved it. Like, I don't know why you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

This, but go get him.

[Eddie]

All right. His name before that was dusty E.B. dustin E.B.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I changed my name too.

[John Holmberg]

I also hate.

[Eddie]

There's his Texas driver's license.

[John Holmberg]

There he is. L. Anybody else? Literally anybody. First, middle, last name. He's not an organ donor. The time travel thing. You got me on ghosts and time travel. It's not a thing. It's never been a thing. It will never be a thing. And again, I remind you my philosophy holds true. 100. You cannot mess with it. If at any time in the history of the spectrum of man made time traveling through it was invented, we'd know about it from the beginning of man to the end of man. If time travel is invented at any point, we would know about it all the time. Because you can't go back in time. Time travel and tell them. A time traveler. Prove it. Then go forward in time and just not dabble with the current we're dealing in without us having. Somebody's going to overlap to it. And why would everybody. It's the same thing I always say about the devil. How come he's in on this whole thing? God's not getting involved. You have free reign. Just leave it up to us. That's dumb. He's got some juice. Use it. If you had a time machine.

[Dick Toledo]

Got some juice.

[John Holmberg]

Juice. And he's got those too. If you had a time machine and somebody said, don't use this for bad. Oh, okay. You would use it for your own gains. And people be. How do you know though? Because if some dude went back in time and created Starbucks in the 20s and then it became twice as big then and more and more and more, everyone would be rich. There's no way that dude is gonna hide that for just himself. He's gonna tell a buddy. If I invented time travel like Brady, you're the only person I'm telling. You think Brady goes back and invents barbecue sauce? Like he's not gonna be the guy responsible for that. And then I know. Then Brady knows. Then Brady tells Ronnie. Ronnie goes back to something. Then Ronnie knows. Now it's just. There's no way one dude's kept this to himself the whole time.

[Eddie]

I'm filling out a perfect bracket.

[John Holmberg]

I'm doing all sorts of crazy stuff. And by the way, I'm never doing the Biff.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, of course you are.

[John Holmberg]

I'm never gonna stop doing it. I had a big win in Vegas. I go back all the time because that feeling was so great. I want it again. Time travel has got to be pretty awesome. If I'm just sitting here talking to Toledo one day, and then I'm like, you know what? I accidentally dicked around and messed something up in my closet, and I met Jesus yesterday. I'm definitely gonna keep doing that. And eventually I'm gonna stumble even back to the future. They screwed up. By the third one, there had to be, like, eight deloreans. Too many people. Now we gotta stop with the time travel and stop with the ghosts and start being adults. It's out of control now.