BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - THURSDAY - March 13, 2025 - Emailer Says His Home Was Invaded By Cartel - March 2024

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcasts - Thursday, March 13, 2025

Release Date: March 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this compilation episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS), host John Holmberg alongside co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve into a compelling listener-submitted story about a home invasion by South American cartel members in March 2024. The discussion blends serious insights on home security with the show's signature humor and lively banter.

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Listener's Harrowing Experience

The episode opens with John Holmberg sharing an email from a listener named Kevin, whose father experienced a terrifying home invasion in Scottsdale. [01:08]

John: "I got this email from a guy, this is amazing. [...] My dad started yelling, he said, but there was no communication. No English was being spoken in this house." [01:08]

Kevin recounts how his father, while dining outdoors, heard a loud boom indicating a window was broken. He returned to find burglars inside, stealing valuable watches and wall art. Authorities identified the culprits as part of a South American gang responsible for 38 burglaries in the North Scottsdale area. [02:06]

John: "At least 38 astronomical burglars. I didn't know that." [02:06]

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Strategies to Prevent Home Burglaries

The co-hosts discuss effective measures to safeguard homes against such intrusions. They emphasize the importance of:

• Visible Security Measures: Keeping televisions and lights on to simulate occupancy. [02:14]

  Brad: "They recommend keeping a television on or lights." [02:14]

• Canine Companions: Owning a dog, as burglars dislike noise and potential threats. [02:17]

  John: "Burglars hate noises. But evidently this guy was sitting at home around dinner time." [02:17]

Brad Bogen humorously suggests placing valuable but non-essential items outside to deter thieves.

Brad: "I'm preempting. I put some old stereo equipment and some other values out front for them." [02:50]

John adds a playful twist by suggesting that making one's home appear as a target might lead to burglar disappointment.

John: "You have nothing. You got nothing really good." [08:33]

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Humorous Take on Household Security

The conversation takes a lighter turn as the hosts joke about the idea of having no valuable items to steal. They mockingly discuss the absurdity of minimalistic living as a security measure.

John: "If you stole it, you'd be like, and if you stole it, I would replace it in no time." [09:17]

Ronnie chimes in with a humorous scenario about burglars trashing non-valuable items like cans.

Ronnie: "Look, I'm in these tattered South American rags. You did that. Where are my cans?" [08:46]

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The Reality of South American Gangs

The hosts express concern over the increasing presence of South American gangs in residential neighborhoods, highlighting the need for heightened awareness and security. They discuss how these gangs are methodically targeting homes, emphasizing that traditional security measures might need to be re-evaluated.

John: "South American gang robbers. Yeah." [02:00]

John reflects on his personal approach to home security, noting that despite having minimal valuables, the risk remains.

John: "I need to safe up or hide or. I used to have cash, but I've given up on that." [07:57]

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Community Impact and Personal Reflections

The discussion broadens to the impact of these burglaries on the community and personal safety. The hosts share anecdotes about stolen property not being inherently valuable, yet causing significant distress to homeowners.

John: "It makes me upset when I watch somebody talk about what was stolen from their home." [07:57]

They lament the loss of seemingly insignificant items, questioning the motives behind the burglars' choices.

John: "I still don't want them to break in. I'm not encouraging it, but I am kind of like, well, they never would want me." [12:37]

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, John Holmberg reiterates the importance of home security while maintaining a humorous outlook on the situation. The hosts encourage listeners to assess their own security measures and consider the value of their possessions.

John: "Sorry, you're right. You guys want some turf? That stuff cost me a fortune." [14:23]

The episode concludes with a blend of humor and seriousness, leaving listeners both entertained and informed about the escalating issue of home burglaries by South American gangs in Arizona.

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Key Takeaways

• Preventive Measures: Utilize visible security measures like lights and TVs, and consider having a dog to deter burglars.
• Home Valuables: Assess the value of household items and understand that even non-valuable possessions can cause distress when stolen.
• Community Awareness: Stay informed about local crime trends and collaborate with neighbors to enhance community security.
• Personal Security: Reflect on personal security practices and consider upgrading or reevaluating them in response to emerging threats.

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness successfully blends engaging storytelling with practical advice, all while maintaining the show's characteristic humor and camaraderie among hosts.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Mo Money Pawn]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by Mo Money Pawn, Arizona's largest pawn shop for over 35 years.

[John]

All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of homework's morning sickness.

[Mo Money Pawn]

This segment brought to You Guys by Mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Now, whatever you're looking for, it doesn't matter if it's electronics, jewelry, tools, pretty much, you name it, they got it there. All right, check them out [e-mail] or.

[Brad]

Like I said, just go to the.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Store and check them out. 12th street in Indian School, it's Mo Money Pond.

[John]

Anyway, I got this email from a guy, this is amazing. We were talking about. He said, john, I heard you talking about the dinner time burglaries. And lo and behold, my dad had it happen to him in Scottsdale. He was at home. He was in his backyard, heard a boom, walked towards his house. A couple of guys standing in his house just ransacking the place. Busted a window on the side. That was the boom. My dad started yelling, he said, but there was no communication. No English was being spoken in this house. They took a bunch of his watches and a couple of pieces of wall art. The art isn't worth anything, but the watches were rollies. He was told by authorities it's South American gang robbers. They're moving from neighborhood to neighborhood. So I guess we have to strap up even when we're home. Now. My dad's okay, by the way. Kevin.

[Brad]

Yeah.

[John]

South American gang robber. Yeah.

[Brad]

And there's at least, I forgot the number of them.

[John]

At least 38 astronomical burglars. I didn't know that. But they evidently they're going to move from neighborhood to neighborhood. So you got to.

[Brad]

So they recommend keeping a television on or lights.

[John]

TVs, lights and dogs. Get a dog. They don't like noise. Burglars hate noises. But evidently this guy was sitting at home around dinner time. Decided to go have his dinner outside, you know, outdoor living. It's awesome. And he hears that boom. And he goes back in his house. There's a couple of dudes in there just taking what they wanted. And there were like. I think they said there's been like 38 in the. In the north.

[Brad]

38?

[John]

Yeah, North Scottsdale was like 38 different pop ins. How about that? I don't know if you want to.

[Brad]

I'm preempting. I put some old stereo equipment and some other values out front for them.

[John]

Just to pick up. Kind of like a bulk pickup. Bulk South American gang pickup. And you got to figure out how to write it in South American. A little sign that says El Frio.

[Brad]

That's what my sign said.

[John]

Yeah, well, it's smart. That's smart move, Brad.

[Brad]

Because.

[John]

Yeah, they're gonna bounce around now, evidently. So pretty soon we're going to start shooting South America. This is why I haven't answered my door in years. And you know what this means? Those weird 70s and 80s bars on Windows are going to start coming back. That's how they're getting in. Evidently they're just kicking in windows they don't even try at the door. A lot of times busting a window. Why would you doing it from a backyard. That's creepy. Now you're going to have to shoot somebody in your house. People walking around with. All right, now you have more people shooting each other in their house because they're walking around with loaded guns on their hips just in case.

[Brad]

Now the kid that got in trouble in our neighborhood. Not funny. I wouldn't do this one again. He thought it was funny to walk around with being a buddy with a ski masks on and all these in Gilbert red cameras. Yeah, and Gilbert picked it up.

[John]

They're not doing that anymore. Idiots.

[Mo Money Pawn]

It was probably embroidered Gilbert Goon with his name.

[John]

But it's tough because all the Louis Vuitton logos.

[Ronnie]

You are a. If you're gonna be a Gilbert Goon, you're gonna make it. So all the other moms are jealous. You gotta keep up with the Jones goons. No goon of mine's walking around there with a generic East Mark ski cap. That is a Vuitton or it's nothing.

[John]

Oh no, he said East Mark, by the way. And this is another thing. We gotta worry about more things. Yeah, everything is worse. Jesus.

[Brad]

TV on.

[John]

TV's always on. Blaring like the Way you used to walk into your grandparents house. Damn it.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Right in the middle of Tic Tac Dough Wake Martindale.

[John]

Quiet down. Archie's on. That's what that was my grandpa's. I'll quiet down. I could hear that when I drove up. Who was quiet down?

[Brad]

Not gun smoke, the rifle.

[John]

Oh my. It was a Virginian grandma. I would come home from work when my grandma stayed at my house for a few days. Have guns that travel. There's a name of the man I'm pulling in. I'm like, what the hell's going on? It's like a. There's like a foghorn of old forties.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Start saluting. When you got out of the jeep and everything, I came in the house.

[John]

And I swear to God you've never heard my sound system louder. My grandma is doing a crossword puzzle, watching the Virginian. And you would turn my mic off because I'd come in almost every time at noon, 1201, just watching the Western channel. The second I opened the door, you'd hear the Virginian. What are you doing? My stories, like your stor stories are too goddamn loud.

[Brad]

I knew the round of golf was over in spring break down in Naples, Florida, when Tic Tac dough was blaring. And oh, and there's pap led asleep in the lounger.

[John]

And all you're hearing, joker, joker, political diet. But the host is screaming at them. They're just asleep. So that's what you need to keep away the South American dinner time gangsters tv and the sound system so loud like when Tony Soprano played Dean Martin outside in the studio to blow those people out just as loud as you can make it.

[Brad]

Get those Match Games playing on us.

[Mo Money Pawn]

I love the Match Game Show Network.

[John]

They might crack. They might sit down and go like. And start answering. Then you can. Yeah, gotcha. See, Nipsey Russell makes me laugh. Makes me laugh too. Are you gonna steal my stuff? And here's the other thing. South American gang people. I got nothing of value. I've gone into people's houses recently where I'm looking around and they've got like artwork that's worth more than everything I own. And their house is kind of normal, but I'm like, what's this? Oh, that's an actual Picasso. It is? Yes. What's that doing here? And I would never want that in my house. My stuff's nice. Nothing worth robbing. You're gonna be very disappointed.

[Brad]

I'm going to a Z gallery picture.

[John]

No, they took those when I was in show somebody did steal them. I have a painting I'm pretty proud of of Jackie Gleason and Burt Reynolds.

[Brad]

There's some autograph stuff.

[John]

Not anymore.

[Brad]

Oh yeah.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Got auctioned.

[John]

Well, my Steeler stuff still there. My Cubs, my Ernie Banks and my Anthony Riz. And all that was auctioned off. Morning sickness. I do have some Steeler stuff, but again the most you're pulling out of my place for any valuable stuff. And I know this is a lot to a robber, maybe a thousand bucks. I got a couple things in there that I think are worth a lot more, but just stolen hot. Maybe a thousand dollars, and that's a pretty good pull. But you want Rolexes, you're coming to the wrong place. I got nothing.

[Brad]

Gold bars.

[John]

It makes me upset when I watch somebody talk about what was stolen from their home. Oh my gosh. It's almost like why father Dale didn't touch me. When I hear about all those kids in school they got. I mean he never once even tried with. I get a little upset that I never was a target. I don't have any stuff that these guys would want and maybe I should go out and start shopping for. But there's nothing in my house. I need to safe up or hide or. I used to have cash, but I've given up on that. I used to keep cash and a safe. I don't have that anymore. That's recent, John.

[Brad]

It's all gone. My can collection. They got all of it.

[John]

Yeah, you're.

[Brad]

They got all of it.

[John]

What are they gonna steal at your house? Nothing. You got nothing really good.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Hell, Ronnie, pack it in their car for me. Let me help you out with that, Ronnie.

[Brad]

Smash and grab.

[John]

Ronnie might just bust the window down with a ski mascot.

[Ronnie]

I know it's you.

[John]

Quiet down. O. Then she just goes and trashes your cans.

[Ronnie]

Oh, the South American gangsters. They were wearing what you have on right now minus a ski mask. Same they made me change into. They're closed. Look, I'm in these tattered South American rags. You did that. Where are my cans?

[John]

I don't know. South America. I'm guessing you got nothing. So you know it's gonna. You're gonna be disappointed. That's just. And robbing me is sort of like having sex with me in the end. It's just. Eh. That wasn't that great. You're gonna walk away disappointed. I would actually like start helping. I'm like, oh, you don't want that. That's. That's nothing. Here, come here. I got a jack Lambert Jack Hammond and Andy Russell. Autograph. You guys can get a pretty penny for this online. We're not gonna sell it online. What do you have that's good? I know the pool table's nice. That's gonna be a hell of a haul. I'm not helping you with that. That's too heavy. I got a bad back. We make those. Yeah, I made that. I mean, I probably built this for you. Look. South American robber. I don't have much. I don't buy a lot of super expensive things for my house.

[Mo Money Pawn]

I actually.

[John]

What is this over here? A painting? Is this worth anything? This is a painting of the four youths from Boyz n the Hood. Remember when Doughboy and Chris and then were in the beginning? I have a painting of them as kids. What is that worth? I don't know. 80 bucks. You want it? Do you have anything of value? Have you done anything in your life? I got valuable stuff, but I.

[Brad]

You're gonna be so mad. You're gonna come home and all the artificial grass is taken.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Unbelievable.

[John]

There's where I get screwed. God damn it. My landscaping's been stolen. I put some money into that. You're right. That's my stack. Maybe that giant thousand pavers fire pit I've got is good take like. Hey, homeowner. Yes, can I help you? Grab a side. This thing's heavy. What are you gonna do with that? I don't know. It's cool, though. It is pretty neat.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Get installed at my job tomorrow.

[John]

I'm gonna put it up. Yeah.

[Brad]

A year later, for some reason, you're going through Avondale or somewhere like that. Going to spring training or something. And there you see a front yard set up.

[John]

Hey, hey, hold on a take. That's my Indian walk. Leland says, you utter buffoon. You have art worth more than any painting I've ever seen. You have Barry Wood. Yeah, but that's at the apartment downtown. That's not at my house.

[Brad]

And we have Warrenwood here.

[John]

Yeah, we have Warren Jeff's here. I still haven't brought down to the apartment. I got to do that. I might do that tonight. Yeah, I've got some vulgar paintings of Barry Wood and Donald Trump. Those are down at them. You know, they. They are. Those have not been assessed. I can't put it.

[Brad]

What if the South American cartel has the Brady Wood?

[John]

See, that would be hilarious. I'd actually almost encourage them to steal that. And then I have J. Todd Himes do another one for 500 bucks and it'd be fine. I don't have anything. Because when this guy emails and I feel bad for his dad getting robbed, that's scary. It's horrible. Lose your sense of security and your safety and all that. But honestly, I wouldn't have much that I. I'm not fighting for it if people bust into my head like, what do you guys want? I'll help you. Like, it's just stuff.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Grab that in player. Let's go.

[John]

TV is really put on. Yeah. The guys at Saner Sound did a great job installing. We're gonna have to undo the wires. You know what? I'm gonna tell you this right now. This is the hardest house to rob of all time. You let us in, and now we can't get anything off these walls. Professionals install my stuff. You can break it if you want, but then it's worthless. I got pictures of my dogs. I don't have anything valuable. I still don't want them to break in. I'm not encouraging it, but I am.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Just gonna say you sound like.

[John]

But I am kind of like, well, they never would want me. So I'm a little bit Father Dale syndrome again. Father Dale syndrome.

[Mo Money Pawn]

I'm a little into PTSD over here.

[John]

I do. Why was Carl Malwin. He's so much prettier than me in high school.

[Brad]

Then you start thinking, maybe I should buy some real art.

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[John]

And then I'm starting to think maybe I should value up this.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Class it up a little bit.

[John]

I have a painting of John Bowser Bauman from Sean.

[Mo Money Pawn]

Ana said no one ever until right now.

[John]

That's hilarious. If I were to ro my house, I would go next door. There's nothing in here. My stuff's nice, but it's not like. Like, if you stole. Yeah, if you stole it, you'd be like, and if you stole it, I would replace it in no time. It's. I still want to shoot somebody that came into my house and did this. But I said, dude, Mexicans aren't going to steal your landscaping. They got access to that. That's true, but they're South American. I don't know if that's the same thing. Like Peru.

[Brad]

Yeah, tell them about that. About his rims disappearing.

[John]

Yeah, exactly. They took my wheels. But that's because they own a yantara shop. That's just good merch. I don't know. I suppose you can steal my car. Even still, I got insurance. I need to do something with my life, make me a better target. I'm not a target right now. The dinner time burglaries. I would I would actually apologize. I'm sorry, guys. This just didn't work out for you. Sorry. I'll get better stuff next time. Hey, we'll come back when we do have something of value in here. I'm sorry. You're right. You guys want some turf? That stuff cost me a fortune. Believe how much turf costs per square foot is ridiculous. I know.

[Mo Money Pawn]

I can get you a deal on.

[John]

That player cut up to, like, $14. And that's not even installed. It's out of control, man. Anyway, I'm gonna take your Bowser Bauman thing here. I don't know who that is, but what's Shanann on? Trust me, somebody will buy that for me. Probably John Bowser Bauman. Yeah. I got nothing. But what are you gonna do? It's out of control now.