BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - TUESDAY - December 31, 2024 - Brady Report Mix - 2x - Greek Milf Sex Session - NY's Most Expensive Hooker - 2005

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcasts
Episode: Tuesday, December 31, 2024
Release Date: December 31, 2024
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

---

1. Introduction to Local Comedy Scene

[00:00 - 00:31]
John Holmberg kicks off the episode by highlighting the vibrant comedy scene in Arizona. He promotes various improv shows across the Valley:

• Tempe Improv:

  • Paul Versey on Thursday
  • Beth Stelling on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

• Desert Ridge Improv:

  • Sarah Weinschenk on Thursday
  • Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday

• Stand Up Live Downtown:

  • Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

Notable Quote:
"Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday."
— John Holmberg [00:00]

---

2. The Brady Report: Unconventional News Highlights

a. Greek MILF and Soldiers Incident in Cyprus

[01:22 - 02:36]
Brady introduces a quirky story from Cyprus where a mature woman engaged in consensual relationships with ten Greek soldiers. The orderly nature of their interactions led to unexpected consequences when one soldier shared a video, resulting in disciplinary action.

Notable Quotes:

• "A MILF happily gave business to 10 Greek soldiers..."
  — Eric [01:22]

• "The soldiers formed an orderly line outside the room waiting to have sex one by one."
  — Eric [01:50]

b. Neiman Marcus' Sky Car

[02:43 - 04:13]
Discussion about Neiman Marcus selling a prototype of the Sky Car, a futuristic flying vehicle with impressive specs but limited availability due to regulatory requirements.

Notable Quotes:

• "Neiman Marcus is selling a Sky Car, which is a flying car."
  — Eric [02:49]

• "This car has a vertical takeoff and landings just like a Blackhawk helicopter. Goes 350 miles per hour, gets 21 miles per gallon."
  — Eric [03:12]

c. Automated Speed Monitoring Black Box

[04:13 - 07:02]
The team debates the implications of a new black box technology that would automatically ticket drivers who exceed speed limits, potentially reducing the need for traditional policing on highways.

Notable Quotes:

• "The box sends a signal to police and you get a ticket automatically sent to your house."
  — Eric [04:13]

• "The cops don't have to do anything as far as... That's terrible."
  — Lori [05:03]

d. Workplace Romance and Its Consequences

[07:20 - 10:38]
A conversation about the rise of office romances, the introduction of "love contracts" to prevent sexual harassment lawsuits, and the tension it creates in professional environments.

Notable Quotes:

• "Companies are having their employees sign love contracts... to prevent sexual harassment."
  — Eric [08:23]

• "Women should never have been in the office. Office is the biggest reason why women should have never been allowed in the office."
  — Lori [09:01]

e. Evolving Marriage Vows

[10:08 - 11:18]
Eric discusses the shift from traditional marriage vows like "till death do us part" to more conditional statements, reflecting changing attitudes towards marriage longevity.

Notable Quotes:

• "People are leaving 'till death do us part' out of their marriage vows and hedging their bets."
  — Eric [10:08]

• "For as long as our love shall continue to serve the greater good."
  — Eric [10:43]

f. Impact of Jobs and Family on Women's Sex Drive

[11:18 - 13:36]
The hosts react to a study revealing that a portion of married working women with children experience diminished sexual desire and difficulties achieving climax.

Notable Quotes:

• "10% of women said that having a job, a husband and kids has destroyed their sex drive beyond all recognition."
  — Eric [11:39]

• "Pull your heads out and do what you were doing 35 years ago..."
  — Lori [12:15]

---

3. High-End Escort Controversy in New York

[15:22 - 24:41]
A detailed account of Natalia McLennan, Manhattan's top escort earning $1.5 million annually. Her blatant self-promotion led to legal troubles, including accusations of money laundering and prostitution. The discussion satirizes her expensive services and the legal ramifications.

Notable Quotes:

• "New York's number one trollop... her rate was 2,000 bucks an hour."
  — Eric [21:34]

• "If convicted... you get 15 years in the canned heat."
  — Eric [23:21]

• "For $2,000 an hour it's going to be tough to get me aroused."
  — Lori [24:21]

---

4. Police Killings and Street Cleaning Rage

[15:56 - 18:06]
An intense story of neighborhood rivalry in Richmond, California, where persistent conflicts over street cleaning schedules escalated to a tragic shooting, highlighting societal tensions and the extremes of personal vendettas.

Notable Quotes:

• "Ron wound up going into the house, grabbing his gun. He shot in the head."
  — Eric [16:58]

• "They don't do anything anyway, do they?"
  — Lori [17:15]

• "People get freaked out here."
  — Dana [17:56]

---

5. Afghanistan's First Shopping Mall Opening

[18:11 - 20:55]
A humorous take on Afghanistan's inaugural shopping mall and escalator, blending geopolitical commentary with light-hearted mockery of cultural clashes and modernization challenges.

Notable Quotes:

• "Afghanistan just opened its first shopping mall."
  — Eric [18:09]

• "That's like Smith."
  — Lori [19:16]

• "They got a maw."
  — Lori [19:22]

---

6. Listener Interaction and Q&A

[25:16 - 26:43]
The hosts engage with listeners, discussing personal budgets for sexual activities, humorously debating the value of expensive services versus personal relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• "What's the most you'd spend for sex?"
  — John Holmberg [25:16]

• "It's a stupid question for me because people pay me."
  — Eric [25:38]

• "40 bucks max. If you're spending more than 40 for a little tail, you're doing it wrong."
  — Lori [26:31]

---

7. Brief Advertisements and Promotions (Skipped as per instructions)

---

Conclusion

The episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humorous takes on serious topics, unconventional news stories, and lively banter among the hosts. From the intricacies of workplace relationships to the bizarre incidents in Cyprus and Afghanistan, the show provides an engaging snapshot of contemporary Arizona life with a candid, irreverent twist.

Final Note:
This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, ensuring that even those who haven't listened can grasp the key discussions and enjoy the dynamic interactions of the hosts.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here.

[Brady]

For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Eric]

And.

[Brady]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute dot com.

[Lori]

Chew and poop.

[Brett]

That's all they do.

[Lori]

That's all they're good for. Chewing and pooping the rest of Homeburg's morning sickness. This is the big Red Radio. Time now for Brady to give us the news no one else will. We like to call it the Brady Report. Brady, please report.

[Eric]

I take you to the island nation of Cyprus. It's a Greek island. Uh oh, we're a mature minx. A MILF happily gave the business to 10 Greek soldiers based on the island and one all night long train pulling romp.

[Dana]

That's a good woman.

[Lori]

For the military, ladies. For the military.

[Eric]

Apparently she was insatiable. It wasn't like the soldiers ganged up on her. On the contrary. According to Cyprus newspaper.

[Lori]

That's good newspaper.

[Eric]

The soldiers formed an orderly line outside the room waiting to have sex one by one. At one point, two soldiers came along and served food.

[Lori]

Nice.

[Eric]

The soldiers, who ranged from fresh recruits to commanding officers, could have hit it and broken away clean. But one of them recorded some video with his phone and sent it to some other recruits.

[Dana]

Boy, it sucks to be at the end of that one.

[Eric]

The army bigwigs heard about the video, saw what happened.

[Lori]

I drew number 10.

[Eric]

Punished the soldiers by banishing them to remote parts of the island, away from all the delectable and Desperate Housewives.

[Lori]

Cyprus isn't that big. You can walk back to her house from wherever. Remote part of the island.

[Eric]

Yeah, swim.

[Lori]

Oh, whatever.

[Eric]

By the other islands.

[Dana]

By the time number 10 gets there, she's covered.

[Lori]

Yeah, she's just.

[Dana]

She looks like a Krispy Kreme.

[Lori]

She's nice and warm probably too.

[Dana]

Yeah, she's warm, all right.

[Lori]

I like Krispy Kremes. What the hell?

[Eric]

And it's Christmas. And it's Christmas catalog. This year, boys, Neiman Marcus is selling a Sky Car like a Krispy Kreme.

[Lori]

My visual on that is nasty. Eric. Thank you.

[Dana]

I'll never look at a donut the same again.

[Lori]

No, I'm not gonna eat Krispy Kremes anymore. Say that again, Brady. Because Eric's ruined Krispy Kreme Dog nuts.

[Eric]

Neiman Marcus is selling a Sky Car, which is a flying car.

[Lori]

I saw that on the news the other day.

[Eric]

Going for 3.5 million.

[Lori]

It works.

[Eric]

Oh, it works, my friend. This car has a vertical takeoff and landings just like a Blackhawk helicopter. Goes 350 miles per hour, gets 21 miles per gallon.

[Dana]

Wow.

[Eric]

The Sky Car isn't being mass produced yet, but Neiman Marcus is actually selling off the working prototype. The catalog claims that this car should become available over the public for the next three years.

[Dana]

About damn time.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Downside of the Sky Car is you have tons of permits to use because.

[Lori]

You gotta be a pilot.

[Eric]

One from the FAA got a picture of her.

[Lori]

I saw that thing. The Neiman Marcus catalog. It's the. The cheapest thing in. It's like 35 and it's this dumb pencil. But then everything else is like a million bucks. But I saw the Sky Car and it looks cool. It's bright red, it's got two big fans on the back, and it's just float. They only have a drawing, though. I don't actually see it like the.

[Eric]

Real one working in the world of road rage. Just put this one in the, I don't know, piss off basket. The line, he's developed a new black box for cars that actually will tell. You will monitor your speed and then narc on you to the cops when you break the speed limit. They're going to use a GPS type box in there. And it has a rundown of all the speed limits in whatever area you're traveling as soon as your car goes over the speed limit of whatever, maybe they give you a 5 mile per hour allowance. The box sends a signal to police and you get a ticket automatically sent to your house. They don't have to patrol the roads anymore.

[Lori]

The cops don't have to do anything as far as. See now that's the only thing about the cops job I think is absolutely necessary is they gotta catch me.

[Dana]

Yeah, really. You know, can't make it that easy.

[Lori]

Speeding, you can't have a. Your car can't tattle on you. That's terrible.

[Eric]

The Limey department of transportation has commissioned a company to work on the black box. But they haven't said when it might start going in the cars again.

[Dana]

Can you imagine how many tickets there would be?

[Lori]

You know how great the state of California is for the speeding thing. It's like all of every citizen of California got together and said screw the speed limit. We're gonna go as fast as we can. Just keep up. Everybody knows that rule. Just, just keep up. And the cops gave up. The cops don't do tickets on the freeways anymore because it would slow things down. You go like 80 on that freeway, nobody's gonna move.

[Eric]

You can move along pretty good on our, you do pretty good here.

[Lori]

But then you run into the people that are obeying the laws that are wrecking it for the rest of us.

[Dana]

Whenever you see that cop on the freeway.

[Eric]

And what's amazing is the accident that happens. And then when you finally go, you're like, traffic's been slow for a while and you finally get up there and still it's on the side of the road and it still comes to a.

[Lori]

Yeah, there's a dude changing a tire with another car behind him on the 143 the other day. And it backed things up for like.

[Dana]

People get freaked out here.

[Lori]

Oh my God.

[Dana]

A little rain, a little, little rain.

[Lori]

Somebody gets down to 20. Why is he pulled over? Should I pulled over? I don't know what's going on. I better stop the car on the freeway and take a look. Just everybody goes 80. That's the rule. Some people are going to go a little faster, but don't go slower than 80. And the cops will just say, look, we're outnumbered.

[Eric]

Next lane over can be 70.

[Lori]

No, everything's got to be 80. Because Brady, you got those people like Dana Bodine, our sales manager who followed me home yesterday.

[Eric]

I wouldn't put it at 80.

[Lori]

Why?

[Eric]

Because I don't. I think there's just not enough skilled drivers to Handle a go to California. It's unbelievable trying to do the 55 out here.

[Lori]

It's hard. It's harder to drive here than it.

[Eric]

Is drive effectively at 55, get off the road.

[Lori]

I see. But I think the problem is you got too many people going 70 and then too many people that think 55 is as fast as they go. Dana Bodine, our sales guy yesterday, a sales manager. Super general sales manager Dana Bodine. He had to follow me home. I'm going 56 miles an hour. 56.

[Eric]

Which is speeding because you don't want to lose him.

[Lori]

Well, no, it was speeding. What was I on like 48 Street? Yeah, it's 45 miles an hour. So I slowed down a little bit. I get down to 50 and he's still falling behind. I'm like, all right, well, whatever. So we get to the light, we get on the freeway. The 143 start going. I'm up to 63 miles an hour and I've lost him.

[Dana]

He's a cruiser, that Dana.

[Lori]

He's a big. And he gets to my house and he goes, I had a hard time finding your place. Cause you had to speed all the way home. Like Dana was going eight miles an hour over the speed limit. It's not what I had you clocked at. What, your speedometer's off? And then driving with him to the place we went was just brutal.

[Eric]

Tell you you're all right. You have a couple of fast lanes like the Audubon in Germany, and it hums along.

[Lori]

Well, you let you know. And then it just becomes common knowledge that one lane is first. But people don't understand that if you had two lanes at a certain speed and another at one. This place out here, everybody, Nobody'd get it.

[Eric]

Across the country, companies are having their employees sign love contracts. What are those? When two employees start dating, they're expected to report it to their company and then sign a contract that promises the relationship is consensual and neither person is being sexually harassed. The whole reason behind it and why More and more companies are jumping aboard Visa. On average, a legit sexual harassment suit against a company or employee cost a company around 250 grand. So more and more companies are having these love contracts since, you know, in office dating.

[Lori]

Still the reason why women should never have been in the office. Office. That's the biggest reason why women should have never been allowed in the office. I'm right, Eric. Cuz all it did was cause guys to get boners at work.

[Eric]

Career builder survey finds. Keep them at home.

[Lori]

Yep.

[Eric]

50% of U.S. workers say they've dated a coworker.

[Lori]

Yep. And it's nothing but trouble.

[Eric]

14% dated their boss. Almost 33% have dated two or more co workers.

[Lori]

Cuz it makes it uncomfortable for everyone else too. We've been there.

[Dana]

But it's so easy to pick up chicks at work.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Cause there's chicks at work readily available.

[Lori]

In the olden days, there was just one chick at work and the boss had at her and that was it. Those were the good old days.

[Dana]

It is kind of funny though, the drama that ensues in the workplace since.

[Lori]

Women have been at the workplace.

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Lori]

Remember the old days when guys would just go out and have scotch for lunch, come back to work. We're not gonna do a thing today because no one's here to nag us.

[Dana]

Yeah. If we went back to the 50s, things would be much better.

[Lori]

Oh, Eric, you and me. Hopefully our God Zeus will take us there. Yes.

[Eric]

Saying till death do us part. It's part of a wedding vow. It's been around for that, I don't know, a long time, but it's all now. Around the country, more and more people are leaving till death do us part out of their marriage vows and hedging their bets. And in this place, they're saying, for as long as we continue to love each other, or for as long as our love shall last, why bother? Or until our time together is over.

[Lori]

Wow. Talk about quitting before you start.

[Eric]

And then there's this one. For as long as our love shall continue to serve the greater good.

[Lori]

So long as it's. As long as there's something in it for me. Why don't they just say what they mean?

[Dana]

Just say, all praise Zeus, so long.

[Lori]

As I still get something out of you.

[Eric]

All praise Zeus.

[Lori]

That's ridiculous. Is that real?

[Eric]

That's real. There's a lady New Jersey wedding expert, Sharon Naylor. She's the author of a book, your special wedding vows we're hearing as long as our love shall last. A lot. She says, that's. I personally think it's quite a statement. In today's times, people know the odds of divorce.

[Lori]

Wow. So people are just basically saying that their weddings. Now, now.

[Eric]

Until the good time is over.

[Lori]

Yeah, Until I'm pretty much finished draining you of everything you've got.

[Eric]

Let's take your parents for a little ride in this reception.

[Lori]

Exactly. Let's just throw a $20,000 party and roll, baby. Till this party is over.

[Eric]

In a new study, more than 11,000 people that partook in the study University College of London. Hello. Hello. 10% of women said that having a job, a husband and kids has destroyed their sex drive beyond all recognition. In fact, those 10% say they lost all interest in relations for at least six months last year. 4% of married working women with kids also say they have serious problems achieving a climax.

[Dana]

Come on, women.

[Lori]

It's your own fault, ladies.

[Dana]

Ridiculous.

[Lori]

Pull your heads out and do what you were doing 35 years ago, which is hanging around the house waiting to get laid rather than this jobby job Haver.

[Dana]

Here's why this happens, ladies. You don't give it to him. So he's got all this build up and finally when you do, he's blowing in a minute.

[Lori]

Yeah, it's true. He's a two. He's a two pump chump. And then you're just laying there going, this isn't what I remember.

[Brett]

Where's the magic?

[Dana]

You give it to him consistently.

[Lori]

Yeah, where's the magic?

[Dana]

You'll be getting your lights banged out.

[Lori]

The magic disappeared the minute you let your ass get huge.

[Eric]

Yeah, because Eric's been a veteran, right? Married.

[Lori]

I. You know what? He's right. I'm telling you, as a veteran of marriage, he's right.

[Dana]

Thank you, John.

[Lori]

He's absolutely right. It becomes a treat rather than just a thing that you do for some. No, for a good portion. There's a nice portion out there and then the guy. You know what's even worse? When you see a guy defeated, who just says, I don't have sex, I'm married. And we've. We've just quit on it.

[Eric]

Yeah, there's some guys that like to say that.

[Lori]

I know some dudes love it, it's pitiful. And then the next thing you know, they're blaming you. Oh, we don't ever have sex.

[Dana]

That's why you go get it somewhere else. That's exactly why they stray, guys and girls.

[Lori]

Why? Mostly, though, why men do. Because that lady at home has made sense sex, a big deal and won't give it to you.

[Eric]

Lori Blake, you want it?

[Lori]

Derek, lay down John holmberg's morning sickness.

[Larry McFeely]

The 98 KUPD college hoops are here and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing and a fountain drink starting at just 9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of beatbox or buzz balls. For a low price. This offer is for game days only. So grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joined since 1983.

[Wayne]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry?

[Unknown]

Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell.

[Lori]

Nice.

[Wayne]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[Unknown]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait.

[Eric]

That's awesome.

[Unknown]

I'll say. We're Amco.

[Wayne]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.

[Lori]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Eric]

Lori Blake's a judge in Sherman, Texas. She's achieved every parent's dream. I guess. She's made it illegal for a teenage girl to have sex. The girl in question, 17 year old old. And they don't give her name of course, but she was convicted of an undisclosed drug offense and as part of the probation, judge Blake banned her from having sex for as long as she's living with her parents and going to school. Yes, apparently it is legal.

[Lori]

How do they enforce that?

[Eric]

There's the.

[Lori]

There's the rub.

[Eric]

Yeah, that's fine. You can mandate that.

[Dana]

But what about self pleasure?

[Lori]

Good question. That's like probation time. Is it?

[Eric]

I think game's on.

[Lori]

She can play that. She just can't. What about girl on girl?

[Dana]

Yeah, girl on girl band.

[Lori]

Oh, it's banned.

[Dana]

Is that if they have physical penetration?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Lori]

Or if they don't, anything goes in that girl. She's going to the.

[John Holmberg]

She's going to the.

[Eric]

Why does that sound just extra slimy when you're talking about it?

[Lori]

Almost picture him in a trench coat.

[Eric]

Just like.

[Lori]

Penetration. Eric says penetration during a football game.

[Brett]

They can't get penetration.

[Lori]

Oh, God, Eric, why do you have to be so graphic?

[Eric]

Richmond, California Their money grubbing street cleaning scam may have just killed a man. 49 year old Ron Coleman and 42 year old Juano De so De Sosa.

[Lori]

All right.

[Eric]

They were neighbors. They didn't get along. During one day a week where the street was having to get clean, Wano would park his car in front of Ron's house. Ron hated that because every week they had to scream each other. They went out for it went on for an entire year until this week. The argument got physical.

[Lori]

All right.

[Eric]

Ron wound up going into the house, grabbing his gun.

[Lori]

Oh.

[Eric]

He shot in the head.

[Lori]

Oops.

[Eric]

Quano was critically wounded. He's on life support and is not expected to survive. Police arrested Ron for the shooting. Could be charged with murder. If Juano dies.

[Lori]

All because a dude would. Who cares if you're street cleaner gets in front of your house? They don't do anything anyway, do they?

[Eric]

Well, every. You know, it's street cleaning rage, I guess every that one day a week, Ron has to park his car in front of his street cleaner and make him go around.

[Lori]

Wow.

[Eric]

Knowing that it.

[Lori]

It's pushing a button, Doing it on purpose.

[Eric]

A lot of people like to push buttons.

[Lori]

Boy, you'll play that game get shot by the street cleaner. They clean the streets in Guadalupe more than the people clean themselves. Have you noticed that here in the Guad, that street cleaner goes through two times a morning?

[Eric]

Pretty good.

[Lori]

You know what I'd like to see is the residents of Guadalupe just laying in the road one day, and the street cleaner just goes over and gives everybody a bath.

[Dana]

They need to figure out a way to. Yard cleaner or something.

[Lori]

They need. Isn't that odd?

[Dana]

Yeah.

[Lori]

Of all places, they have bad landscaping. Guadalupe.

[Eric]

Remember when we used to care about Afghanistan?

[Lori]

It's true, Eric.

[Dana]

We do care, Brady.

[Lori]

I still care.

[Eric]

Do I want to let you know that Afghanistan just opened its first shopping mall? And inside the mall, Afghanistan also got its first escalator. Osama's got a store scaring the baala out of people. They won't use it.

[Lori]

No, it's a tool of the devil. It takes them upstairs and then down.

[Eric]

Maybe Anwar Hussein, the guy who manages a hotel.

[Dana]

Hussein, Correct.

[Lori]

A bunch of those. That's like Smith.

[Eric]

He manages a hotel that's building the mall and says, quote, people are afraid of the escalator. They just stare at it. They're amazed. And there's like, this is the devil.

[Lori]

We need to bomb this guy.

[Dana]

Wouldn't that be crazy? We're looking for Osama for all these years, and he's in the mall.

[Lori]

What? He's just got a Slurpee and an Orange Julius.

[Brett]

Sup? You guys got dispensers today? Hilarious.

[Eric]

Now, if you were. Let me ask you this. An escalator. And if you wore, like, a long dress.

[Lori]

Oh. Get caught in those metal teeth, maybe. That's true. They're in those burkas. Those ladies are gonna swallow it. Up.

[Brett]

What you have, Osama? I drinking on Julius. It's good.

[Eric]

That's all real, dude.

[Dana]

Every other go to the food court.

[Eric]

There'S like 29 kiosks of orange Julius.

[Brett]

You know we were wrong about America. Orange Juliet kicks ass.

[Dana]

We're all running around in caves looking for his ass.

[Brett]

What do you have on your iPad, Osama? Oh, Nelly. Getting hot in here. I'm taking off all of my clothes.

[Eric]

Nachman, look. Cinnabon.

[Brett]

I got the Cinnabon. Made my tummy hurt. We'll bomb somewhere tomorrow. My tummy aches too much. Cinnamon bun. They're opening a steak escape. Kick ass.

[Lori]

Let's skate. They're just skate rats at the mall now.

[Brett]

Osama. Is that a pal Peralta? Yeah, I just picked it up. Food school pal Peralta gotta push his.

[Dana]

IV all over the mall.

[Brett]

Let's go hang out at Wet Seal and watch the horse change into dirty, dirty burkas.

[Eric]

They're wearing a hurly burka.

[Brett]

Where did you get that? Chess king.

[Lori]

That's hot. They got a maw.

[Brett]

Don't go down the devil's stairs. You mean the moving stairs? Yes, I know. The ones that take you to heaven and hell.

[Lori]

Frightening.

[Brett]

I'll do it the old fashioned way.

[Lori]

Thank you.

[Eric]

Look now, would you like to stop by Abercrombie?

[Lori]

Abercrombie? And who's saying?

[Dana]

Boy, they hate us. But then they copy all our stuff.

[Lori]

Well, we're over. They're kind of pushing it on.

[Dana]

Are we?

[Brett]

What?

[Lori]

In the effort. Dillard?

[Brett]

I don't know, man. Go ahead.

[Eric]

In Jacksonville, Florida, 29 year old Benjamin Glover, 25 year old Desmond Ross were arrested for showing an adult movie on their TV screens inside their hoopty, in their pimped out ride where children and two other cars could see it. In Florida it's a felony. You ready for this? A felony to display obscene materials where kids can see them. Both guys can get up to five years in prison. Wow. But Benjamin says he was wrongfully arrested because he wasn't watching actual porn. He was enjoying the 1998 ice cube Jamie Fox classic the Players Club.

[Lori]

There's some nakedness in that that I.

[Eric]

Don'T know what's worse. Five years in prison for admitting it. You were watching the Players Club?

[Lori]

Yeah. That's naked. I don't remember. Vivica A. Fox, Probably. Was she in that?

[Dana]

I don't know.

[Lori]

I would assume so.

[Dana]

But she's a hot black girl.

[Lori]

Yes. She got naked in. She could. Naked? No, she was just in a thong. In Independence Yeah. Looked good though.

[Eric]

According to New York magazine, 25 year old Natalia McLennan was Manhattan's number one trollop. She was pulling in 1.5 million a year in revenue. She worked for New York Confidential. The ultra high end call girl service in Manhattan. And her rate was 2,000 bucks an hour. At 1.5 million she built 750 hours a year.

[Lori]

She's lonely.

[Eric]

That's less than three hours a day for five days a week.

[Lori]

That's impressive.

[Eric]

She got to keep 45 of her take. So that's 675, 000 a year. Lutalia let the money go to her head and went bragging about her income to the media. She was on talk shows in the papers and the COVID of New York magazine. And an article called NY's Number One Escort Reveals All. But with that much media exposure, the cops got wiped. Lies to her. Went to the NY Confidential wrestler for money laundering and prostitution. Yesterday. All that big talk how much cash she makes selling her body. Natalia. But not guilty. Really to the charges. If convicted. New York's number one piece of street squish. You get 15 years in the canned heat. Caged heat. Excuse me.

[Lori]

You can be candied.

[Eric]

I'd rather be caged.

[Lori]

Yeah.

[Dana]

Candy doesn't sound.

[Eric]

2,000 bucks an hour.

[Lori]

Somebody is lonely. $2,000 grand an hour.

[Dana]

Boy, she better be doing all of it.

[Lori]

Some tricks that I don't know about for two grand an hour that I'm almost curious to see. And then just for. If she's just giving you the sex for $2,000. It's just stay home and masturbate.

[Dana]

And you better hope you don't.

[Lori]

It's freezing.

[Dana]

Get off too quick with that.

[Eric]

We gotta pay for the whole hour. Baby. Shoot.

[Dana]

Damn it.

[Lori]

Will you just hang out here for the next 54 minutes then. Thanks. We'll get a picture of her up.

[Dana]

You're all trying to recuperate real quick before your hour runs up.

[Lori]

No. I'll tell you what. For $2,000 an hour it's going to be tough to get me aroused. That's it. $2,000. You can't. All right.

[Brett]

I'm doing all I can.

[Lori]

$2,000. You better do the splits with your face.

[Dana]

Ow.

[Lori]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She better be able to perform oral on herself.

[Eric]

Two thousand bucks an hour. And I guess if I that means I'd have sex once. Once a year.

[Lori]

That's your budget?

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Lori]

Pretty good. I bet you mine's about the same sex budget. How Much would it be? It's a good point. How much do you think? Oh my God, that's. It would be ridiculous. She's not worth 2,000 an hour. We got a picture of her we'll put on the website. She's a crack whore. She might weigh a hundred pounds if she told me 2,000 bucks as I leaned my head out my desperate car window. 2000 for the first hour. All right, so long, skinny.

[Eric]

But then again, that's New York dollars. So factor in the Phoenix, it's still probably 1500.

[Lori]

Go home and shake out some knuckle children. $2,000 an hour. Have some pride.

[Dana]

New York dollars.

[Lori]

What? Cost of living at 6:42 in the morning Sickness. There is your Brady Report. What's the most you'd spend for sex?

[Eric]

It's a stupid question for me because.

[Lori]

I. I'm not talking about with a hooker.

[Eric]

People pay me.

[Lori]

Oh yeah, there he goes. There he goes.

[Eric]

Hello Phoenix.

[Lori]

So that's why you don't have sex.

[Dana]

Now if it was some like, piss, like a hot Asian, really, I'd go up to a grand maybe.

[Lori]

Really?

[Dana]

If I had the dough.

[Lori]

Come on. Sad, sad young man.

[Dana]

Just for the hot Asian.

[Lori]

I was gonna say 40 bucks.

[Eric]

Nah, you'd go a grand for penetration.

[Dana]

No way.

[Lori]

I can say that again.

[Dana]

That's if I had the money. Now I don't have the money. So based on my income, I would have to go about fifty hundred dollars.

[Eric]

For the hot Asian and a two for one. Buy one entree, get one maybe.

[Dana]

Yeah, maybe they have discounts for me or something.

[Lori]

I'd microwave a healthy choice meal, read a movie.

[Eric]

Eric goes to the Chicken Wing Ranch.

[Lori]

You give her 40 bucks.

[Dana]

10% off with your red card.

[Lori]

Yeah, that's your Brady report. Yeah, 40 bucks max. If you're spending more than 40 for a little tail, you're doing it wrong. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

He said fully erect.

[Eric]

98 KUPT.

[Diane Fisher]

Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202 Ms. Clintalk. Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] cup KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools. If we don't have it, we can't sell it.