← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - TUESDAY - December 31, 2024 - Entertainment Drill MIX - 6x - Osbourne's Show Subtitles - Spongebob Kennedy - Randy Newman Concert - May 2002-2005
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John Holmberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here. For the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed right. Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute. Head there right now. The Core Institute.com the best of the morning sickness is on the Air 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness hey everybody, it's John Holmberg here. This entertainment drill that was from the past is brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black. A couple days left for that super holiday special they got going on right now. Two months of training for $199. That's unheard of for personal training. Amazing prices for all they have to offer. Check out everything they've got online@reactdefense.com then give them a call and head on over to Glendale. Head on down to Phoenix and get yourself in shape and ready for the new year. Start being a sheep dog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Brady from the past. Entertain me. We have now become a terrible 80s television show from Billy Pratt to finder of. Damn it. Finder of Lost Loves. Because there's a guy here. We talked to a guy named Fish earlier today and Fish is pierced in Areas that nobody needs to be pierced in. And this guy online. Hi there. Who's this? TJ Manganero. Tj, are you Spanish? No. No? Okay, never mind. Little Italian. That doesn't count. Anyway, so tj, you wanted to find Fish this morning, and now you're willing to donate a ton of money to any charity we choose to give it to if you can find this Fish guy. Well, I was just gonna donate a couple. A couple bucks to your charity if Fish will call back in. Okay. I've been a friend. I was the one that named him and I haven't heard from him in a while. I thought I'd like to talk to him again. Now. Did you know Fish before he started doing crack and getting his penis pierced? I never known him as, you know, crack before. All right, cool. Well, hold on, tj. I wanted to drink a few beers though. Fish, if you're out there, T.J. misses you and wants to see your newly pierced Schwann's. Hang on a second. Okay. Yeah, Fish is. Fish is definitely going to be popular Now. Did it ever occur to TJ that out of 3 million people in this city, there may be one other guy named Fish? But he did tell us his real name, so that's kind of an odd coincidence. In fact, that's the one TJ's responsible for. His nickname. Yeah. So we'll have to. We'll have to give the benefit of the doubt. Their Fish, if you're out there, email us or call us back. Or if you want to avoid tj, by all means, don't do it. But TJ owes us money now. And that's the way it works. Finder of Lost loves, a pierced penis and his nickname Giver will be reunited thanks to the morning sickness. Right here at 98Kp, it's Bubbles Entertainment Drill Bogo. A name to pay attention to. You may not have heard him in the past. Matthew Hooker. He is Nicole Kidman's alleged stalker and a 2004 presidential candidate. He has filed a 200 million dollar libel suit against Nicole Kidman. He says her PR people used him for publicity in order to hype her movies Moulin Rouge and the others. In addition to the 200 million, he's also seeking all gross receipts from those two movies. Wow. This guy's out of his mind. Hooker names 80 other people as defendants in the suit, including dozens of reporters, News Corp. Chief Rupert Murdoch, and even Bill Gates. Wow. If you'd like to make a donation to Matthew Hooker's 2004 presidential campaign, just surf on over to his website, www.mathooker.com. there you can also study up on his platform. Platforms such as making the government reveal the truth about UFOs and the alien presence here on Earth. We need to get Matthew Hooker on the air tomorrow. Brady, get on that. All right. Matthew Hooker live in the morning sickness tomorrow. The alien presence is very important because aliens apparently have non polluting energy sources which can, quote, set us free from corruption, greed, violence and pollution. Matthew Hooker in 2004. So he stalks Nicole Kidman and he's running for president and he wants $200 million from Rupert Murdoch and Bill Gates. I have to say, I already agree with his tastes and his choices because I'd stalk Nicole Kidman. Yes. So he's got good taste in women. And you'd sue for no reason? I would sue everyone in the world for no reason. If I could find a lawyer that would help me with that. I'm entitled to some of those box office receipts. Me too. I had to sit through Moulin Rouge. Go ahead. Mike Tyson needed to pick a spot to train for his Dune title fight against Lennox Lewis. So he chose Hawaii's Maui because it made him feel, quote, peaceful. Unfortunately, it was only after he arrived in Maui that he found out that the island has no topless bars. Topless bars are very important to Mike because he. He thinks, wow, wow, that threw me off. Because thanks to the evil media, he can only date strippers and whores. He says, quote, you guys have written so much bad stuff about me, I can't remember the last time I effed a decent woman. He's on a ramp. I have to go with strippers and whores because you put that image on me. That's right. Yeah, that's exactly right. It's not cause he beat the hell out of Robin Givens and then raped a girl. No. The media made him date strippers. Yes, they all have nice haircuts. They frame their face nicely. Now I'm gonna smear your effing pompous brains all over the room. Stupid media. The King County Coroner's office released a report yesterday about Alice in Chains lead singer Layne Staley. He overdosed on a speedball. Speedball also is what killed John Belushi and River Phoenix. Also, the coroner's report says he died on April 5, which is the same date Kurt Cobain committed suicide in 1994. Wow. According to the Washington Times, MTV is going to put subtitles on the next season of the Osbornes for the quote, non hearing impaired because nobody can understand Ozzy. The second season of the Osbournes. The New York Times says that there will be 20 episodes next season. That's twice the number that MTV filmed for this season. And finally, the Ozzy news. One more report from last weekend's White House correspondent's dinner in Washington. It seems that Ozzy ran into Glenn Close, who was nursing a broken wrist due to a horse riding accident. Well, Glenn Close foolishly let it slip that she was taking the prescription painkiller Percocet. Oh, no. He hit her up for drugs, and Ozzy offered to buy some off of her. Oh, girl. I had some of that, sir. You with a broken arm, sir. Glenn Close. I don't care who you are, man. Give me that Percocet, baby. Good. Are you the ugliest man I've ever seen. Lord almighty. She declined the offer. I remember the gay love scene with you and Michael Douglas. It was frightening. Ah, give me those Percocet. He's on every drug. He's drunk all the time, and they say he's clean. He's boozed up. Every time I watch the Osbournes, it was great. He's hitting up Glenn Close for Percocet. Can you imagine? His eyes had to perk up like a Pekingese when they break out the begging strips. Perette. Hello. How are you doing? Hello. Every time. Every time he screams that somebody just broke out a bottle of painkillers. He just hung out at Brett Favre's house for like a year. Open up, Brett. I know you're entertainers. Pills. I can get those off your hands. It's dirty. Look at me. Give them to me. Favra. John Holberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD college hoops are here, and there's no better place to catch the action than Hooters. Fuel up with a baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just $9.99. Want to level up your game day experience? Swap the fountain drink for a beat the buzzer special featuring your choice of beatbox or buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joint since 1983. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry. Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice. Is that a big deal to get done? Not at all. It takes about an hour. And in most cases we can do it while you wait. That's awesome. I'll say. We're amco. Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's AMCO code Double A. MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holg's morning sickness. Johnny, you might have heard this one. Supervisor Chris Norby. He's with the Orange County. He wants to rename the local airport currently the John Wayne Airport. He'd like to change it to the OC Airport. John Wayne Field. That's not. Boo. No, you can't do that. The president of the OC and Visitor and Convention Bureau supports the name change. He says the show creates a potentially negative image of the area with its drinking, carousing and fist fighting. Who says, quote, the message that they're sending is no concern to us. What is the interest of the O.C. wait a minute. Portrayed as a cool hit place and place with pretty people. Wait a minute. They're complaining because the OC television show. They're not complaining about that. They're saying that the image it gives off is fist fighting and drinking. They're. They're talking about. And a lot of gay dudes. That's the image that's throwing out. But he said John Wayne movies. It's about killing your liver, right? Beating your kids. John Wayne has nothing to do with fist fighting and drinking. Okay? He's a hero. He is a hero. I'd rather keep it as the John Wayne Airport. The Will Rogers Airport. We need to change. That's in, like, Oklahoma or something. That guy died in a plane crash. Should name an airport after him. The John Denver Airport. Yeah, I mean, you don't do that. The Christopher Reeves Memorial Riding Center. You don't do it. The Big Bopper Airfield. Yeah. You don't have the big plane crash. Airports paying. Stewart. See, why does that bother you? And the Big Bopper was funny. You stuck your head. John F. Kennedy Jr. Island. Yes. Nice, Eric. Thank you. And it's just anywhere you put the plane. That's your new island. SpongeBob Kennedy, as I like to call it. A live airstrip or. What's that? J.J. enjoyed that one. I just. Oh, thank you. I know. What's a Brazilian soccer team airfield. Hello, Patrick. Hello, JFK Jr. Get me to the surface. SpongeBob. Oh, this is horrible. All right. Bubble JFK Jr. Wow. Well, Sandy can live down there. She's a squirrel. Courtney Love is officially on the run. Lives in the cockpit under the sea. It's uncalled for, but it's enough. Time has passed. Anyway, that concludes the entire show. Oh. Are you ready, kids? Are you ready, kids? He lives in a cockpit of Tennessee. Wow. SpongeBob Kennedy. A new movie. It comes out. Yeah. You know, Teddy would be there. Why? I'm just glad they didn't do spongebob. Kopechny JFK is Squidward. Yeah. Chappaquiddick. Oh, this is wrong. In a million different directions. Remember the last time we laughed at something like this? Ah. That concludes the entertainment. Sorry. No. Not what your country can do for you. I'm sorry. Sometimes horrible things make me laugh. What are you looking for there? Nothing. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, Brady. We apologize. You sure? Yeah, go ahead. Because we seem to be riding the good one here. No, it's not. I'm not riding. You're trying not to laugh anymore. But it's. What? Let's talk about the laughter on this thing. What makes you know. It's just funny. Just the visualization of just a funny thought that that's who found him. That spongebob finds a plane crash. It could happen. They should think about maybe that being an episode. What's this? Patrick? That looks like an airplane. Spongebob. You guys don't know. Nicole Kidman is waiting for her 8 million dollar crib to be finished up. So now she has to live in our apartment. Right now she's only paying 35 grand a month. Wow, that's good stuff. Finally. Brady, get us out of this. My man Vincent. Vin Diesel. There you go. He was being interviewed and he was asked the question. Are you a Dungeons and Dragons geek? Diesel was asked about the room. You know what? I'm not even going to do this. Okay, we're done. Not you. I'm sorry. It had to be done. We were all thinking. There a whole new meaning now. Not funny. Not funny. It's uncomfortable. Old man concert announcement. Might be the best one ever at the Arizona Biltmore. It's the second annual Hollywood Wine Festival. Here we go. There's two concerts Saturday and Sunday, I believe the Randy Newman. Oh, Brady, you're kidding. Little billboard buddies. What's going on? You got a friend in me sing along. You gotta bring you gotta friend with me, boy. That's your doggy buddy. Did your dog buddy. Hey, who's the giant weirdo. Hey, man, I'm just trying to pet you, dog. Shut up, people. Get this guy away from me, man. Hey, what's wrong with you, though? You know, if I was Korean, I would eat it. If I was Korean, I would eat choked dog. I would echo. No, it's just Randy all alone. And it's him and his piano. Yep. Solo concert, rare performance. Got a funny voice. The drink taste is choice. And if I was Korean, I would eat your dog. We are going. I am gonna be front row. I'm gonna whip my tits out. 60 bucks. Hey, you in the front row. Quit. Show me your titties. Ready? Pick me. I hope he does all those songs about that have the N word in them and stuff. They're very politically charged songs about. No, it's just basically making fun of people who use the word. Oh, there's some going itunes. Randy gets real racy with his politics. Oh, yeah. They ain't going to any Pixar movie, that's for sure. Sweet. Maybe we'll play some of the score scores. Music from the natural or. Yeah, some of his score instrumental. He did that? Oh, yeah. Didn't know that. But it had words originally. Home run. It's a home run. We like the music, Randy. Let's drop the vocals. Robert Redford is that second bab. Roy Hobbs. He called himself Roy H. He was drunk when he made that one. He might get a bill for the likes because he done broken. Here's his baseball bat. Lightning boy. Look at the sunlight behind the lady in the dress. Hey, look to your left. Dead getting clones. Oh, don't get it started, though, because this will get you going once that thing kicks in. Got about 20 more seconds. Yeah. Oh, it's. Oh, that's such a great leaf. It's amazing. Death from when he got shot earlier there, buddy. Look at him go. I hope you don't fall down. Goodbye, Mr. Spaldy. He did all this on his piano, huh? Yeah. That's amazing. And he'll play it live Saturday. I can't wait. Now he's gonna go home. They love Glenn clothes. You probably find out later. That's his son. We'll have a catch. They have a catch in the wheat field. We're gonna have a catch in the wheat field. Oh, that's it. 1012, man. Randy Newman live at the Biltmore. That's rare. He never does tours. Nope. I'm going. I'm in, man. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202Emmett Clintock, Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also online@fishertools.com KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this ad. Fisher Tools if we don't have it, we can't sell it.