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Dick Toledo
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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast brought to you by Mo Money Pawn and MMP Guns at the corner of 12th street and Indian School in Phoenix.
Brady
Grab some protection. Here comes the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I don't like that this email starts off with a subject similar situation to Bennett here. Hey John, I have a similar situation to Bennett without the incest. My wife and I had a baby who is nine months old and her dad and stepmom had a son who was 4 months old. So my son has a half step uncle who's five months younger than him. And that just. That's because your dad married some young lady.
John Holmberg
Good on dad.
Brady
Yeah. Cause my ex wife's dad, perverted as he may have been, hooked up with some lady 20 years younger that they save a lot. Yeah. And then she wanted to have a baby and he was 58 and she was in her early 30s or something like that. She wanted to have a baby. And my wife's little brother was 30 years younger than her. That kid's got to be pushing 20. And it was weird Tony Randall situation. Oh yeah. But I mean it's. And that that just comes from, you know, the guy who got divorced and then hooked up with some young girl and then realized oh Jesus, she's gonna want a kid. They didn't talk about that. And he didn't want one at all. He hired out constantly that kid. I'm sure once it became like a human being, five, six, seven years old, it could function a little bit on its own as a baby. He would not involve that night nanny he hired was amazing. 10:00 she comes to, sleeps in the same room as the kids and nobody wakes. It was amazing.
John Holmberg
She like Rebecca De Mornay and no.
Brady
She was cute, but she wasn't that cute. Good. They did have one that was really hot. Evidently she was Just temporary. Yeah. I was standing there in her house, and 10 o'clock, the doorbell rings.
John Holmberg
Hi.
Brady
Hi. Hi. What do you want? And then Tom comes around and goes, that's the night nanny. What's a night nanny? She stays in the room with the baby all night long. You pay her to sleep here? Yep.
John Holmberg
Think I want to do it?
Brady
Because if that kid wakes up, I ain't getting up.
John Holmberg
It's your turn.
Brady
I ain't changing a diaper and I ain't waking up. And I'm like, well, what about the mom? She didn't get nothing. This one says, does hotness matter? You asked. I did ask if hotness should. It doesn't play a part here. Of course it does. If I'm going to falsify a branch, a branchless family tree to bang her, I need to know if she's hot. It doesn't. No. How powerful. It does not. The story eliminates whether or not this girl is so hot. Now we as men.
John Holmberg
I have a bronco.
Brady
Yeah. Bronkle immediately makes it so. I don't care how hot she is. There's more damage than heat. Guys say things like that. I'd eat the out of her. Okay. You'd eat corn out of this. And blah, blah, blah. We say that. We don't mean it. She's so hot. You do horrible things you've never once said. I shared loads with dad. With her. Oh, no girl's that hot. My dad and I would share that. High five over her back. Maybe even each make a child with it. Ugh. Thanks for the email, though. It makes for great radio. But stop it. I mean, seriously, stop it. Brady. You managed to take the craziest role in this entire story by trying to bring religion into it. What? You know what in the are you talking about? That's true. I don't know what religion says. We did the right thing here. All right. This is when I realized I had to stop being friends with a guy named Andrew. My high school buddy lived across the street from me in Greenway High. His house was the place we would go after school. Then one day I realized we had to stop being friends. There's a time his little brother confused him about trying to bang his girlfriend. His brother said, how many times are you going to try to do this? And I ask, he's trying to bang. He's tried to bang your girlfriend on a lot of occasions. And he said no. He tries it with every girlfriend I've ever had. It was too much for me. We've had to stop hanging out. That's when you realize somebody's got no boundaries in their house. That's a good thing to see. It's a good. Some good insight. You were raised right. If only Daddy Bennett had that. Tyler says. And through it all, good punch here. And through it all, they're still better fathers than Toledo's dad.
Dick Toledo
Oh, I'm surprised. It took us 45 minutes to get there, man. Damn, I literally thought that was where the first.
Brady
At least this baby has two dads. As twisted as it may be, at least there's two of them. Oh my God. I don't know what to think of you guys. Yeah, just stop it. I don't want to keep going. Who are we talking to? Where's all the normal people that said, hey, just got a raise and promotion of my job cuz I'm such a normal person. Normal people don't email.
Dick Toledo
Who are we talking to?
Brady
Who are we talking to? I know, and I'm still curious. Like I should be used to it. You can still surprise me. That's the only reason I'm waking up in the morning at this point is you guys still surprise me. David Vasquez had that something. Damn it, David. Trying to move on.
John Holmberg
I don't know if he can go with this one.
Brady
Let's see. Yeah, sure you can.
Dick Toledo
Okay. You know what?
Brady
David, for no reason at all, puts these two cents in. Boy, that dad must be a fan of fresh roast beef sandwiches and long drapey curtains.
Dick Toledo
Come on.
Brady
Maybe he. Maybe he likes arby's and a 1980s drapey curtain flowing kind of window. But David, in order to know she had that, he had to get her pants off. Unless he was in the delivery room. Oh. Oh, come on.
John Holmberg
All right, here's one. No, stop it, John. Dan knocks up Dua Lipa. Then she then decides she wants to give you a ride. What do you do?
Brady
Dua Lipa is pregnant and wants to have sex with me. Dad's baby inside. Oh, man. First off, that's worth a high five to dad. How did you do that? This isn't a high five. Dad.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, can I get the Men in Black?
Brady
Afterwards, my dad says I had sex with dad Dua Lipa and made babies with her. And then Dua Lipa wants to have sex with me. Yeah, let's give you a ride.
John Holmberg
Right after Dan planted one in her.
Brady
You've turned me. I'm Bennett now I get it, Bennett. This girl isn't Dua Lipa, is it? Wow, that's tough. I'M gonna have to say I'm on Bennett's side on this one.
Dick Toledo
Guys.
Brady
That's a great guy. Thanks for. Sometimes you have to see both sides of the coin. Donnie flipped it on me.
Dick Toledo
Guys, I really love your show, but you know this is a white person's problem, right?
Brady
Yes, it is. Yes, absolutely. Oh, we know you guys have your own baby dramas, and it's very rarely 2 dads. White people have too many dads. You guys have no dads. It's just a crazy thing.
Dick Toledo
Wait a minute. We started the show with the 67th happiest country in the world, and this.
Brady
Is going on because we got so much spare time? This doesn't happen in unhappy countries. They're too busy working eight or nine jobs or crapping in rivers. There's too much personal hygiene. Hillbillies are clean.
Dick Toledo
Oh, did you say that in the delivery room?
Brady
That's what I said. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
That's why. That's why he got to look at the.
Brady
He knows what it's like. You got to see the Big Montana. And he thought, well, that's right down my alley, isn't there? I hope that doesn't heal. Yeah, Brady.
Dick Toledo
That's right.
Brady
Welcome to the world. Like Brady gets reborn every single letter you write. That's not a thing, is it? Yeah. You're out of Arlington, my friend. It is. This is how the world is.
Dick Toledo
Well, I know some religions.
Brady
There are some religions that can fix this. Nuh. Even Jesus said yourself, what is wrong with this world? There is a chance, however, John, that the girl that slept with Bennett is named Amana Nen and is now missing. There's a good chance he's gone missing, and we have to find that. If you weren't listening yesterday, you're confused, but it's very funny. Oh, God. Oh, that.
John Holmberg
That. Yeah, that one's.
Brady
Oh.
John Holmberg
Almost too far.
Dick Toledo
Don't do it.
John Holmberg
He can throw it away.
Brady
I just have to dance around the. All right, I'll just present the scenario to Brady. Just to watch his.
John Holmberg
Oh, no.
Brady
Watch his butt pucker through his eyes. So while she was pregnant, evidently she was dabbling around with Bennett Grandpa and probably didn't feel much like having genital relations. Okay, so she was orally pleasing, mouth hugging, Granddad, everything she eats.
John Holmberg
Come on.
Brady
You're fired.
John Holmberg
Show's over.
Brady
Did I do all right with that bread? His was more graphic. The email was, yeah.
John Holmberg
That is a weird pyramid.
Brady
Baby came out with biceps. There's so much protein.
John Holmberg
Jesus Christ.
Brady
That's my granddaughter. But I would have to Say that I think I'd snowball with Dua, Lipa and my dad. I think that's something. I. Sure, why not?
Dick Toledo
John, I get that you're putting a rose on this. Suicide is painless. Not the theme.
Brady
Yeah, the theme to match should be. Yeah, Bennett, you should really. How are you recovering from this? How does this get better from here? You just have to divorce your family and move on. Yeah, you know what? He was right. Walk the earth, change your identity. Pull a full Walter White, move to the Granite State. You're. You're now James Lambert. You're you're new life. Go to the vacuum store and get a new identity.
John Holmberg
From that time he's still could apply. Go count penguins.
Brady
Oh yeah, Antarctica's got a job for you.
John Holmberg
Five months.
Brady
Some mundane counting is probably in your future. Just sitting in a snowy wasteland. Vast, white, snowy.
John Holmberg
But they don't have my daughter in law up there.
Brady
She's gonna make me miss her more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Dick Toledo
I missed it because I was in the other room. What are the ages again here?
Brady
The kid, the son was 20. The daughter was about to turn 21 and God knows how old Bennett is. My guess is 28.
Dick Toledo
Right, because you would think, yeah, maybe.
Brady
Probably had his son.
Dick Toledo
Probably hasn't cracked second 40 yet.
Brady
Second or third grade. I don't know. I don't. Bennett, I. You know what I'd say? Email me back, but don't. No, no, no. Come on. Keep this in there. It's only so much I can handle. I thought it was a peak of this stuff. The lady wanted in her husband and her brother doing it. Thank you guys for.
John Holmberg
I mean the show's hit an all time high or all time low at this point.
Brady
I don't know what's going on.
Dick Toledo
Toledo knows. There's a couple real nice cities in Arkansas that Bennett can go to. He'll fit right in.
Brady
Oh, I don't know. Wander over there. Mead Lawson says tell Talito to stop at the black voice. You can do it, but I'm gonna kick his ass. Okay. This lady says normal person checking in. It's Rochelle from Gilbert. We love her. I'm beginning to think you were right all along. I'm too normal for the show. Every time I see her and her husband, I'm like, you have to stop. You're both far too normal to be listening to this show because it's a hilarious story. I have to keep my office door closed. I'm laughing so hard. But the half brother, uncle, cousins got Me, Rochelle. Well, it's a thing.
John Holmberg
It got all of us.
Brady
Well, I guess that's good.
John Holmberg
Bennett.
Brady
Jerry Springer had a show every day. Those people have no outlet anymore.
John Holmberg
Where are they going?
Brady
The Internet doesn't like. You have to just tell your story somehow.
Dick Toledo
So you say Bennett was just consumed with need to.
Brady
They'd have been on Jerry Springer.
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Like, yes.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, I know. I'm with you. I'm following you.
Brady
Yeah. They leaned on us. Oh, God. Well, you might as well just get that baby and that mom, too. Just let that baby bang away. Everybody needs a taste of mama. I've been here in Antarctica counting them penguins every day. That pass made me miss the Big Montana more.
John Holmberg
Give me 17 years later, I'm ready to marry her again. I walked in on her.
Brady
Her son. I gotta tell you something, though. Made me feel a little insecure. My boy made her swampier than a page on Ducks Unlimited. So I was a little bit upset with the moisture factor.
Dick Toledo
People are throwing out band names.
Brady
I don't know why that's a thing. She didn't want to know. I'm not saying those words. Anyway, that's it. I don't know where to go for it. It's only 7:30 in the morning. We. We cause more nausea before 7:30.
Dick Toledo
Maybe. Maybe Pete can go out and have a couple of toots with.
Brady
Oh, yeah, If Pete's coming in. Well, this is the type of stuff he does. Yeah, you tell him. Should have saved it for him, for Christ's sake.
John Holmberg
Pete Lee's got to run it by him.
Brady
Yeah, Give me your drama. And Kyle says, here you go again, Holmberg. Sticking that giant Juno's into other people's families. Here come the carrots for me. That's true. I should have never gotten involved. I fully believe I should have never gotten involved. It's out of control now.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - TUESDAY - March 11, 2025 - PART TWO
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: March 11, 2025
In this engaging episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" (HMS) on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, alongside co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delve into the latest listener-submitted drama emails. The discussion is a blend of humor, probing questions, and candid commentary, aiming to entertain and challenge listeners with unexpected and often controversial personal stories.
Timestamp: [00:40] – [03:17]
The episode kicks off with an email that mirrors a previous situation involving a character named Bennett, though without the element of incest. The listener describes a convoluted family scenario where his wife has a nine-month-old baby with her father and stepmother, leading to a half-step uncle who is significantly younger—only five months apart in age. This arrangement stems from the father’s marriage to a woman 20 years his junior, resulting in a dramatic age disparity within the family.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogen [02:05]: "This email starts off with a similar situation to Bennett here... that's because your dad married some young lady."
The hosts dissect the implications of such family structures, questioning societal norms and the psychological effects on the children involved. Brady humorously references the resemblance to Tony Randall's situations, highlighting the absurdity while maintaining a serious undertone about boundary violations.
Timestamp: [03:17] – [05:13]
Another email brings forward the challenges of maintaining friendships amidst unhealthy boundaries. The listener recounts how his high school friend, Andrew, overstepped by persistently attempting to pursue the listener's girlfriends, leading to the eventual dissolution of their friendship. This scenario underscores the importance of personal boundaries and respectful relationships.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogen [04:50]: "That's when you realize somebody's got no boundaries in their house. That's a good thing to see."
The discussion pivots to a comparison between Andrew and the hosts' own fathers, with a lighthearted jab suggesting that their fathers are better role models despite their flaws.
Timestamp: [05:13] – [08:13]
Dick Toledo introduces another layer of humor with a complex and fictional scenario involving the listener's dad and celebrity Dua Lipa. The co-hosts playfully navigate the absurdities of the situation, blending humor with mock-serious advice.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogen [07:14]: "That's a great guy. Thanks for... sometimes you have to see both sides of the coin."
The conversation highlights the show's signature blend of humor and candidness, as the hosts navigate through exaggerated and humorous listener stories.
Timestamp: [12:36] – [14:37]
In a refreshing contrast, Rochelle from Gilbert writes in, expressing that she and her husband are "far too normal" to be listeners of such a wild show. This brings a moment of self-awareness to the hosts, acknowledging the diversity of their audience.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogen [13:09]: "Every time I see her and her husband, I'm like, you have to stop. You're both far too normal to be listening to this show because it's a hilarious story."
The hosts humorously reflect on the nature of their show, recognizing that while they cater to unconventional stories, there are also listeners who find solace and humor in shared normalcy.
Timestamp: [14:10] – [14:37]
As the episode wraps up, the hosts share a light-hearted moment contemplating the nature of their show's content and its impact on listeners. They joke about the type of drama their audience chooses to submit, balancing the chaotic stories with genuine appreciation for their loyal listeners.
Notable Quote:
Brady Bogen [14:36]: "Here come the carrots for me. That's true. I should have never gotten involved. I fully believe I should have never gotten involved. It's out of control now."
The episode concludes with laughter and camaraderie, leaving listeners entertained and reflective about the unique blend of drama and humor that "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" consistently delivers.
Complex Family Relationships: The show explores unconventional and complicated family dynamics, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and healthy relationships.
Humor as Coping Mechanism: Through humor, the hosts navigate sensitive and bizarre listener stories, making the content relatable and entertaining.
Diverse Audience Engagement: While catering to dramatic narratives, the show also appreciates listeners who find comfort in more ordinary experiences, showcasing the show's broad appeal.
Camaraderie and Open Dialogue: The chemistry among hosts creates an engaging atmosphere, encouraging open and honest discussions about listener-submitted dramas.
"Holmberg's Morning Sickness" continues to solidify its place as Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show by tackling an array of listener-submitted stories with humor, empathy, and candid discussion. This episode, filled with intricate family dramas and humorous banter, exemplifies the show's ability to entertain and provoke thought, making it a must-listen for those seeking both laughter and relatable content.
Listen to the full episode weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), via the 98KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.