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Dick Toledo
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Brady
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns, your trusted source for firearms and Accessories online@mmpguns.com Do.
Homer
Not listen to this while driving or.
Brady
When full alertness is needed.
Homer
The rest of Homer's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. Yeah. Speaking of cute, by the way, to get you off of this. What? I saw this story yesterday on some British she's in Great Britain, but she moved to Wisconsin. I think she's British. I saw it on a British site. So she's from Wisconsin, actually, and she's in Wisconsin. Her Name's Tiff, she's 35 and she's an adult film star. And she's the one that we've avoided. Now, she's pretty. She's a pretty lady. If you look at her, she's blonde and big boobs and all that stuff. But you don't know. You're not familiar with her.
Brady
No.
Homer
Even though she's been in like hundreds of porns and you haven't seen her. And the reason why is because the only thing she does is old, old men. And it's that weird. It's that porn you haven't seen. So then she goes and she's like, you know, I'm gonna try to make a name for myself rather than go. So she's been going from nursing home to nursing home auditioning guys and banging them. And they're banning her from nursing homes. And you know who's up in arms about it? The dudes in the nursing home. Yeah. The families are like, you can't have this girl wandering around trying to have.
E
Sex with our fa.
Homer
He's 80 and he's dying.
Brett
Give him my wife's been dead for 20 years.
Homer
Give him this. If he can still get it up, give it to him. My friend Joe's dad is 80 and we had dinner with him a while ago. And he said, he said he takes the Viagra just to play with himself. He enjoys it.
Brett
Don't they have a button for that by their bed?
Homer
I got an erection. Let's. Yeah, everybody should. There should be lights and there should be party favors and the cake rolls in. But she's been rolling in and out. She says, I've been visiting quite a few assisted living facilities and so far I've been banned from three in Wisconsin because I go in and if they want to, I'll bang the residents. Now I'm sneaking them out because it's the only way I can make content. So she gets them to agree to do a video. Like they're fine with that. Like, sure, hop aboard.
Brady
What's her name?
Homer
They're just calling her Tiff here. Tiff. Now she's whore pretty and not in a Kardashian way. Like, she's that girl at the bar. Like, man, immediately you look at her and go, she is. She's been ridden rough. But it says, she said her High Profile productions is what she calls it, while not popular with the staff, are a huge hit with the guys in the place. So they're like, please stop banning that. What happened to that Tiff lady? And they're trying to tell these guys, oh, she was an imagination. They're tired of being stuck at the home. They regularly tell me that I make them feel young when I do these movies with them. Even the grandmas agree because I'm satisfying their husband. So she's not even just picking the solo one. She's like, hey, look, you don't want to do this anymore. The old man still got power. Let's get on this. So I think that should be like a service with all these only fan girls and all these ladies trying to make a living by being slutty. What's wrong with that if you can do it?
Brett
Well, I think that's where the other family, well, they're. They're probably like, sure, the service. But you have to put it on film and show it.
Homer
If he's all right with it, what's it to you if your dad was in the.
Brett
Yeah, if he's in the right mind.
Homer
He'S in the right mind. He's saying yes to all the right things. And look, you're 80, you're in a home. You're just sitting there. You don't have all your faculties together. You're getting enough. You can get a boner. And some 35 year old girl wanders in and says, Hi, I'm a porn star. Wanna make a movie with me? Yep. Immediately, like, there isn't even. Like, no old man's gonna be. Like, that's against my moral. Okay, well, move on to the next guy. I remember years ago when Megan trained all those old men in the Silver Sneakers program. She was a personal trainer for the elderly for two hours a morning. And these old people flocked in. In the wintertime, the snowbirds came in from Iowa and everything else. And every April when they'd go back home, they'd want a picture with their personal trainer. And there's Megan and the Lululemons and the workout top. And every single man that left put their arm around her and cuffed her boob like they were going in. They wanted a piece of this. The last time they're going to touch a girl in her early 30s this way. And then they go back to Iowa and show their friends, this is who I. Back in Arizona there. No way. They were just like, she.
Brett
They're all over.
Homer
She's a sweet young lady. Old men are still men. And the older you get, the more you realize, man, my brain doesn't ever stop being 20. It's just my body that stops being 20. My body doesn't do it right anymore. But my brain still thinks we got this. My 76 year old dad tried to fight a homeless guy with me and then realized I gotta stop doing stuff like that. Like, yeah, you don't stop. So if a porn star wanders into your. If twerp was in there a couple years, probably didn't have all he had to give, right? He wasn't 100%, like physically active.
Brett
He might have thought about. I mean, he would have been. Again, the filming part would have bothered him, you think? But if it wasn't filming.
Homer
How about a whole load of. What the. Let's do this.
Brady
There she is. Going.
Homer
That is a.
Brady
And they're lined up.
Homer
Look at this camera.
Brady
Guys over here grabbing a handful.
Homer
Is that in the home?
Brady
I think so.
Homer
That's her with a mini gang bang of old. Dude.
Dick Toledo
Take the safe search out.
Homer
Yeah.
Brady
Oh, oh, can I do that? She is Wisconsin.
Homer
Oh, she's a. She's gross. But these old fellas, that's pretty good stuff, right? And that's the best they've seen in a long time. And still, you gotta remember, these guys are in their 80s. They're not part of the shaved and maintained generation. What they're seeing is all new to them. I don't understand that, Elder. Oh, good lord. Was that Brady. What is going on? I think she does a lot more than just okay, gotcha. But she's, you know, she's got a. There's an old guy eating his jello. But if your dad's in a home, I go, you know, go let him have at it. What's it matter? How proud would I be if Dan was in a home? He's Kirk in a home. Oh yeah, he's down there.
Brady
Hey, I'll call Tiff up. Hey, come on down here.
Homer
Exactly guess what happened to me today. What is it, dad? You sound spry and alive like. Like I haven't heard you in years. Ah, this 35 year old girl came in and filmed us for a while. Hey, good on you, old man.
Brady
Hell yeah.
Brett
Brett, is this your old man?
Homer
Yeah.
Brady
Is that your damn right?
Homer
God damn right. And you have your hands in your.
Brady
Lapels like still servicing at 80.
Homer
Absolutely right. It's a vestly tradition. Give the hard stick to somebody all the way into my octogenarian years. Don't yell at this lady for doing that. If the guys are into it and she gotta sneak them out, that's more dangerous. Have a room for it. It's not like Nathan Sutherland.
Brett
A lot of outdoor activities.
Homer
They're in the garden doing whatever it is they do. A little tending to the weeds and.
Brady
Then, you know, Donovan wants starting a new HMS charity. Hiring whores for the olds.
Homer
Yeah, I. I think that's pretty good. I don't think that's a bad idea. And these guys, you know, look, here's my thing. I got no kids. If I'm in a home by myself someday and I'm old and I'm all right, where's my money going, right? I got my estate plan and all that stuff. But let's say tragically. Well, there's nothing about it. She'll be gone. Meghan ain't gonna be around. There's no way. Why would you stick around me old, for God's sake.
Brett
And the new silver sneakers.
Homer
She'll be off and running with some handsome decent human being. This old is. I'm not. I'm not gonna wanna stay with me old. So let's just assume Tiff rolls in. Let's go with the fanduel odds here. Yeah. And I'm sitting in a home by myself. And she's like, hey, a couple hundred bucks and make a movie. I'm like, I'm not leaving my money to the state. Let me call Trajan wealth and make sure this is okay. And I'm like, yeah, just leave my money to the porn whore and let her come in. And every couple weeks, give me all I'm good for. No one's gonna visit Brett. You're the same. We talked about this. We're gonna have to get an apartment together. Nobody's gonna be old with you.
Brady
Nope.
Homer
Nobody's gonna be old with me. Gross. I'm gross now. Can't imagine what I'm gonna look like. I encourage people to abandon me as I age. That's disgusting. On the monster sickness magic upd. And then you get this girl comes by and be like, yeah, I kept myself in okay shape, but still disgusting.
E
Couple hundred bucks.
Homer
I like, all right, done.
E
Gonna put it on a hologram because.
Homer
That'S what'll be going on at the time. Sure. Hologram that up and I'll just sit here and take it. Right.
E
We got three guys gonna film it.
Homer
Doesn't bother me. I don't care. Bring me some grapes, maybe a smoothie, because I can't chew food anymore.
E
There's your insurer. Here's your insurer. I gotta get you some energy.
Homer
Yeah, that's a good idea. It's silly, but they're banning her. Jealous. And that's just proof that as women get older, they still remain jealous. Even though they can't even service you anymore. They can't even like, the whole lie of the relationship is they just want you to be happy. If that were true, as you get older, I know I can't give you.
E
What you really want. So you're allowed to have this porn whore.
Homer
No woman would ever say that. They start screaming, banner, I don't want to see my old man happy.
Brett
I think that story's misleading.
Homer
How so?
Brett
Banned from three out of 55.
Homer
Yeah, that could be.
Brett
I mean, there's a lot of them. You think about those little. The little ones that have like eight or 10 people living in it.
Homer
Yeah, but aren't those, like, those.
Dick Toledo
Wouldn't you want to maximize your profits?
Homer
Yeah, you're gonna go to the residence. You're not going to.
Brett
Those pictures I've seen does not look like a luxurious.
Homer
None of them look that great.
Brett
But that looked like it was a.
Homer
You guys got to have a couple communal pocket. You're not gonna go wandering around the poor ones. Maybe she dabbles with the poor ones, but for the most part, she's hanging around Sun City and some guy walks, drives by at 35 miles an hour. One of those golf carts with plastic windows whipping in the wind.
Brady
What is Mr. Microphone hey, baby back.
Homer
Pick you up later? Pick you up after I get my meds at the cvs. That's where she should hang out. Sun City cvs. Yeah.
Brady
Why hang out of Wisconsin? Come on out to Arizona.
Homer
Yeah, where all the good looking old rich golf guys are. And just hang around the insurance.
Brett
They'll say, welcome Tiff.
Brady
Yeah, absolutely.
Homer
She'll be at that Sun Dome.
Brady
Got Leisure of the Leisure World and Sun City. I mean we got it all. Sun Lakes.
Homer
Yeah, they're banning her. I think that's tragic because I'm a man and I'm getting old.
Brett
We're out here for the Wisconsin days. They do every year. 4,000.
E
I just want you to be happy.
Homer
I want to. That whore.
E
No, Banner.
Homer
Why? You said you wanted me to be happy. And your box doesn't work anymore. And I have crowbar and some WD40 for that thing and a bug man.
E
All that matters to me is your happiness.
Homer
Let me the whore.
E
You can't do anything in that hover round.
Homer
You watch, you say, I'll put it on film. Ya.
E
You see, Happiness is all that matters. What would you like more than anything to that whore?
Homer
We've made it clear now off. It gets worse as you get older. Nothing's working. This lady comes on and provides a service, you might as well have angel wings on. Okay. Are you from heaven?
Dick Toledo
Listeners have found her and apparently. Yeah, you're right, she doesn't just do that.
Homer
Banging a bedpost there. That isn't her. That girl's got dark hair.
Brady
Says this is her.
Homer
That could be. That might be, I don't know what's.
Brady
She is from Wisconsin.
Homer
Massage? Was it a fist? What's going on there?
Brady
No, I think it's just a massage.
Homer
I think she's getting a massage because that bedpost hurts. And there she is with fat elderly me.
Brady
Oh hell.
Homer
Well, actually, she just got pictures of a undecorated bedroom about to get decorated. She's not bad. If I was 85 and I came rolling in.
Brady
I'm gonna make reservations for Kurt Nicely today.
Homer
Yeah, yeah, send her to Kurt. Kurt might make her like him.
Brady
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
Look, Dad, I know he said no.
Brady
But I'm not doing a stepmom video with her.
Homer
Look, for 35. Yeah.
Brady
You're 80.
Homer
Yeah, if you're 80. Like if you're 35 and she's 35, you're looking past her, but not a seat.
Brady
Like.
Homer
That's a good picture. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a keeper. I wish that for my Father. Because I, unlike most people, want him to truly be happy.
E
I want your dad to live out his golden years just happy. That's all.
Homer
And I told her all I wanted to do is the whore.
E
She said, no, no, Ben, you're banned from that.
Brady
She do a tour there? She's in the show.
Brett
I was sitting on a mouth.
Brady
Nice.
Homer
Well, that's her job. That's like Mike Trout. He's always got a glove on. She's always Trout. She's always got clam chowder hanging out of her mouth. That looks good. I should be so lucky at 85 to have something like that come in there for a couple hundred bucks and take care of business. I like them thick.
E
Band.
Homer
I hate you.
E
I'm thick.
Homer
You're useless. I might as well fly all the way to Egypt and try to one of the pyramids. You're so dry. Let's get this girl in here.
Brett
Okay, that guy's IV ing up for the.
Homer
That might be.
Dick Toledo
That might be a little extreme on that one.
Homer
Nuh. You need IVs. Keep your business moving. Okay. IVs are good. They offer those now at the Aria. You can room service them in an iv. Which is glorious. I can't do it because I find that to be awfully strange. But she's great. That's a. She's a. That old guy's grabbing her ass.
Dick Toledo
That's more along the lines of what I was preaching.
Homer
He's in shorts and a sweatshirt. Like, is this. Were you sent by the. By the Christ child?
Dick Toledo
I don't know why, but I picture that as Coach Clark, and you know.
Homer
How many times her phone's gonna ring? Hey, it's me.
E
Yeah, your wife got me banned.
Homer
She's dead. Get over here.
E
When did she die?
Homer
Like an hour ago. Hurry up.
Brett
They put it under a code name like Fish Fry.
E
He goes to four fish fries.
Homer
Love that fish. God damn it. Can't wait for another fish fry.
E
Joey's supposed to be on Friday.
Homer
Ah, you. You pillar of sand. Anyway, well, that. I just. I saw that last night and I thought, you know, she's not a bad person.
Dick Toledo
That's one more.
Homer
That old guy's got two. Oh, man, he looks like my Grandpa Alvar on the last few days. And we would have done that for him. Yeah, get. Yeah, get him. Get him. Yeah. Put a down payment on her.
Dick Toledo
Like I was saying. Dad, I know we've agreed not to exchange birthday gifts, but I got you one.
Brett
Here you go.
Homer
Dad's. Your dad's living alone, right?
Brady
Yeah.
Homer
Oh, what are we waiting for?
Brett
Does he date Wisconsin Tiffany?
Homer
He doesn't score, no. When's the last time you think your dad did it?
Brady
I don't know.
Homer
While.
Brady
Probably. Yeah, probably.
Homer
All right. Don't you want that to happen?
Brady
Absolutely. I'll put a down payment on it.
Homer
Does dad bring it up?
Brady
No, not really.
Homer
No. We should have a chat a good Sunday.
Brady
He may know Wisconsin tiff already. I don't know. I'm gonna have to chat with him.
Homer
My dad and his wife, that new wife of his, they talk about it. I don't like hearing it. She brings it up at dinner and stuff.
Brady
I've heard there time it gets like.
Brett
Nine and a half weeks.
Homer
It's nine and a half weeks to recover from a story. She'll sit there and start talking and tell. I've heard their honeymoon story four times. And it's like. Like you just want to go, enough. Because they got food poisoning on their honeymoon or their wedding night. I should say on their wedding night, they both got food poisoning from bad scallops or something. She always ends the story the same. Oh, we were just throwing up all over the room. But don't worry about it. We got everything done. Need to get done before we got sick. I'm like, oh, for sake. And I believe I heard the phrase, your daddy plugged every.
Brett
Oh, no way.
Homer
Oh, she's. She'll tell the tale. You want to hear it? Come to dinner with us.
Dick Toledo
She's West Virginia class.
Homer
No, she's Texas. And she's. But she's fun. And she'll tell a funny story. And I hear, big hole. Your daddy got it done. And when they see how uncomfortable I am, she says something really rough. It's terrible. He might have said it too. I got everything all plugged up before everything went south, like, thanks. Enjoy the linguine. It's on me. I never want to see you people again. By the fourth time I've heard that story, they banged each other until they got food poisoned enough. But if he's old and it's still going on, good on you, dad. It's out of control now.
Episode: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - TUESDAY - March 11, 2025
Release Date: March 11, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Platform: 98 KUPD (97.9 FM, 98KUPD app, www.98kupd.com)
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS), the hosts delve into a controversial and provocative topic: Tiff, a 35-year-old adult film star from Wisconsin, who has been making headlines for her unconventional approach to creating adult content. Tiff's strategy involves engaging with elderly men in nursing homes across Wisconsin, a move that has sparked debates among the hosts about ethics, legality, and societal norms.
Homer introduces Tiff's story, highlighting her unique niche in the adult film industry. Unlike typical adult entertainers, Tiff focuses exclusively on older men, often residing in assisted living facilities. Her approach involves filming intimate encounters with elderly residents, which has led to both fascination and outrage.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Homer (01:27): "She's from Wisconsin, actually, and she's in Wisconsin. Her Name's Tiff, she's 35 and she's an adult film star. And she's the one that we've avoided."
The discussion among the hosts becomes a lively debate on the morality and implications of Tiff's actions.
Brady and Homer express a degree of empathy towards the elderly men, suggesting that Tiff provides companionship and a sense of vitality to those who might be lonely or neglected.
Notable Quote:
Homer (03:53): "I'm satisfying their husband. So she's not even just picking the solo one. She's like, hey, look, you don't want to do this anymore. The old man still got power. Let's get on this."
Brett and Dick Toledo raise concerns about the potential exploitation and the blurred lines between consent and coercion, especially given the vulnerability of the nursing home residents.
Notable Quote:
Brett (03:53): "They're all over."
Dick Toledo (11:03): "Wouldn't you want to maximize your profits?"
The hosts question whether Tiff's actions cross ethical boundaries, discussing the importance of ensuring that all parties involved are genuinely consenting and that the residents are not being manipulated or taken advantage of for adult content.
Notable Quote:
Homer (05:18): "She's gross. But these old fellas, that's pretty good stuff, right? And that's the best they've seen in a long time."
The conversation extends into broader reflections on aging, loneliness, and the human need for connection. The hosts share personal anecdotes about their relationships with elderly family members, emphasizing the complexities of providing care and companionship to aging loved ones.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Homer (05:42): "The older you get, the more you realize, man, my brain doesn't ever stop being 20. It's just my body that stops being 20."
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse humor and light-hearted banter to navigate the sensitive topic. They make references to pop culture, personal experiences, and playful jabs at each other to maintain an engaging and entertaining atmosphere.
Notable Quote:
Brady (07:20): "She's Texas. And she's fun. And she'll tell a funny story."
By the end of the episode, the hosts acknowledge the complexity of Tiff's situation. While some view her actions as empowering and beneficial for the elderly men, others remain skeptical about the ethical implications and the potential for misuse.
Final Thoughts:
Notable Quote:
Homer (16:21): "Like, I'm really, what you're listening to on the monster sickness magic upd."
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness presents a multifaceted exploration of a niche within the adult film industry, challenging listeners to consider the ethical boundaries of such interactions. Through spirited discussions, personal anecdotes, and sharp humor, the hosts provide a comprehensive look at the implications of Tiff's unique career path.
For more engaging and thought-provoking conversations, tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com.