BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - WEDNESDAY - January 1, 2025 - Brady Report - MIX - 8x - Couple Kids Stole Brady's Mom's Car While She Was Visiting - All 2024

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Best of HMS Podcasts (January 1, 2025)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host: John Holmberg
• Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
• Description: Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show where John Holmberg entertains, questions, and disturbs listeners with his co-hosts.
• Episode: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - WEDNESDAY - January 1, 2025
• Release Date: January 1, 2025

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1. Brady Bogen’s Mom’s Car Theft Incident

Timestamp: [01:32]

Brady Bogen shares a personal and alarming story about his mother's car being stolen while she was visiting. The incident occurred when his mother returned to Columbus and found her Lincoln stolen on the day of her departure.

Key Points:

• Theft Details: A 16-year-old teenager and two 20-year-old females were identified as the culprits.
• Police Involvement: Highway footage helped in identifying the suspects, though the co-conspirators in the back were not clearly visible.
• Outcome: The stolen Lincoln was eventually retrieved with the assistance of the police, but Brady’s mother had to deal with the aftermath, including needing a knee repair.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “My mom was visiting, right, for the holiday. She comes home. She leaves on the 27th... her car got stolen...” [01:32]
• John Holmberg: “Your mom’s pressing charges, right?” [02:45]
• Brady Bogen: “She hasn't decided.” [02:47]

Discussion Highlights:

• Legal Implications: John urges Brady’s mother to press charges, emphasizing the importance of holding the young offenders accountable.
• Human Element: The conversation highlights the emotional and physical toll such incidents can have on victims, especially when it involves family members.

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2. National Law Enforcement Day and RICO Blaze Persona

Timestamp: [04:05] - [05:53]

John Holmberg introduces a comedic segment featuring his alter ego, RICO Blaze, in recognition of National Law Enforcement Day. This segment is filled with over-the-top humor depicting RICO Blaze’s antics as a law enforcement officer.

Key Points:

• RICO Blaze’s Character: A humorous portrayal of a police officer exaggeratedly enforcing laws with little discretion.
• Comedic Elements: Jokes about arresting individuals based on arbitrary criteria, such as body weight, and humorous interactions with fictional characters.
• Audience Engagement: The segment is designed to entertain listeners through satire and exaggerated scenarios.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg as RICO Blaze: “Happy National Law Enforcement Day... I’m gonna enforce it right inside you whether you want it or not, baby.” [04:05]
• RICO Blaze: “You have the right to remain silent, but I prefer if you don’t.” [05:49]

Discussion Highlights:

• Satire on Law Enforcement: The segment uses humor to parody law enforcement practices, engaging listeners through irony and exaggeration.
• Character Dynamics: The interplay between John and Brady adds to the comedic effect, highlighting their chemistry and timing.

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3. Innovative Home Products: Sevy Fast Oven and Flappy Cat Door

Timestamp: [08:15] - [10:12]

The hosts delve into discussions about two innovative home products showcased at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

a. Sevy Fast Oven

Timestamp: [08:15] - [08:45]

• Product Features: Claims to bake meat without the rubbery texture associated with microwaves and can bake a cake in under four minutes.
• Price Concerns: Despite its features, John expresses skepticism about its safety and long-term effects, saying, “I want to see a year or two of that in action before I see all the tumors popping up on folks.”

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “They claim it doesn't give chicken and other meat that rubbery texture like a microwave.” [08:38]
• John Holmberg: “I don't want to see all the tumors popping up on folks.” [08:45]

b. Flappy Cat Door

Timestamp: [08:45] - [10:12]

• Product Features: An AI-equipped cat door that prevents cats from bringing dead mice inside by detecting them and denying entry until the cat drops the prey.
• Humorous Critique: John humorously criticizes the product's functionality, likening the experience to "Wile E. Coyote running into a wall."

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “It’s just the cat turns into Wile E. Coyote and runs into a wall...” [09:38]
• Brady Bogen: “So it’s just the cat turns into Wile E. Coyote and runs into a wall that looks like it’s got a painted door on it.” [09:43]

Discussion Highlights:

• Innovation vs. Practicality: While acknowledging the technological advancements, the hosts question the practicality and necessity of such products in everyday life.
• Humor and Critique: Their banter adds a layer of humor, making the segment engaging and relatable to listeners.

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4. Nostalgia and the Legacy of Fruit Stripe Gum

Timestamp: [12:40] - [14:31]

A nostalgic discussion ensues about Fruit Stripe gum, reminiscing its flavors, packaging, and cultural impact over the years.

Key Points:

• Product Legacy: Fruit Stripe gum ran from 1969 to 2024, with unique flavors and a memorable zebra mascot.
• Collector’s Item: Remaining stock is now a collector’s item, with prices soaring on platforms like eBay.
• Flavor Variety: The gum featured five main flavors and even experimented with a chocolate flavor in the 70s.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “I remember this has no flavor. It’s gone.” [13:00]
• Brady Bogen: “There was also briefly a chocolate flavor back in the 70s.” [13:21]

Discussion Highlights:

• Cultural Impact: The hosts reflect on how Fruit Stripe gum was more than just a candy product; it was a part of the cultural fabric for several decades.
• Humor in Nostalgia: They inject humor by recalling the peach-flavored, skin-colored sticks, adding levity to the nostalgic reminiscence.

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5. The SS Pacific Shipwreck and Treasure Hunting Legalities

Timestamp: [16:34] - [19:09]

The conversation shifts to a historical and legal exploration of the SS Pacific shipwreck, which sank in 1875 with an estimated 4,000 ounces of gold on board.

Key Points:

• Discovery: US Salvage company Rockfish, Inc. found the wreck using sonar and a camera sled.
• Legal Challenges: The treasure remains unclaimed because relatives of the deceased have not come forward to assert their inheritance rights.
• Ownership Complications: If treasure is discovered, local and international laws dictate ownership, often preventing private salvagers from claiming found treasures without legal entanglements.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “They had at least 275 souls. Only two survived... 4,000 ounces in gold.” [16:48]
• John Holmberg: “If you find buried treasure, shut your mouth.” [17:53]

Discussion Highlights:

• Ethical Considerations: The hosts debate the morality and legality of treasure hunting, emphasizing the importance of respecting historical and familial claims.
• Humorous Takes: John’s quips about Gollum from "The Lord of the Rings" and burying his treasures add humor to the serious nature of the topic.

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6. Bidets vs. Toilet Paper: A Heated Debate

Timestamp: [20:00] - [22:47]

John Holmberg and Brady Bogen engage in a passionate debate about the merits of bidets compared to traditional toilet paper, advocating for the adoption of bidet technology.

Key Points:

• Product Features: Discussion on Kohler’s new bidet model that integrates with Alexa or Google for voice-activated functions.
• Environmental Impact: Advocating for bidets as a means to reduce toilet paper usage.
• Cultural Shift: John emphasizes the need for a cultural shift towards better hygiene practices, criticizing the reliance on toilet paper.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “Clean your ass with water. And those bidets are amazing.” [21:03]
• Brady Bogen: “Step into the future of bathroom hygiene with voice-activated cleaning.” [Implied from discussion]

Discussion Highlights:

• Health and Hygiene: Emphasis on the superior cleanliness provided by bidets.
• Economic Considerations: The high cost of bidet installations is discussed, though John remains steadfast in his advocacy.
• Humor and Exaggeration: The hosts use humor to underline their points, making the debate entertaining.

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7. Domestic Violence Incident Involving a Dildo

Timestamp: [22:47] - [24:15]

A startling and sensitive story is recounted about Stephen Nerden, a 38-year-old who was arrested for domestic violence after a confrontation with his date.

Key Points:

• Incident Details: After a confrontation where his date insulted his sexual performance by calling him “limp dick,” Stephen assaulted her with a dildo.
• Legal Consequences: Stephen faces charges of domestic battery and must wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet due to alcohol involvement in the altercation.
• Background: Stephen has a prior criminal record, including charges related to burglary.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “He attacked her with a dildo. I’ll show you.” [22:26]
• John Holmberg: “He couldn’t use his own.” [23:20]

Discussion Highlights:

• Serious Nature: The hosts handle the topic with a mix of seriousness and dark humor, reflecting on the absurdity and severity of the incident.
• Social Commentary: Implicit critique of how personal insults can escalate into violence, and the role of alcohol in such confrontations.

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8. Listener Interaction and Ads

Timestamp: [Throughout]

While primarily focusing on content-rich segments, the podcast includes interactions with listeners and brief mentions of advertisements, which are minimalized in this summary per user instructions.

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Conclusion: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends personal anecdotes, humorous debates, and intriguing stories to engage its audience. From a family ordeal involving a stolen car to debates on modern bathroom technology, the hosts provide a mix of entertainment and thought-provoking discussions, all while maintaining their signature comedic flair.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Versey on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinschenk this Thursday and Joe Derosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for the complete lineups. And for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that need to get fixed and fixed, right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too. And you can get rid of your pain and start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com all this show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness. You're listening to the Best of Homeberg's Morning Sickness, and you might have heard a little bit of me, Frank Caliendo there, who, by the way, just happens to be at the Desert Ridge improv.

[Brady]

January 31st and February 1st. Desertridgeimprov.com or something.

[John Holmberg]

You sons of bitches. Now back to the Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness. Sickness.

[Brady]

My mom was visiting, right, for the holiday. She comes home. She leaves on the 27th. It wasn't her. But she gets back to Columbus, her car stolen the day that she got back from the house, from her place. Yeah. Where she was kidding. And so she calls me up. My car got stolen. Like, well, you know, it's a Lincoln. I go, mom, you can call Lincoln and they can track your car VIN number and all that. Okay, do that tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Did they get it? Yes. She didn't care.

[Brady]

Well, she. She had an officer working the case, right? And he calls her back the next day. And says, yeah, we've got highway footage of people. And they were able to get in close enough to see to identify the driver. 16 year old kid. And there's two people in the back. They couldn't see the two people in the back, but the officer says they're probably just joyriding your car. The good news is she had. The reason why I was out front of her place is she had a flat and the space saver was on. So she's waiting for AAA to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

They're not getting far on that.

[Brady]

So they're trolling around the highway with the flat Lincoln.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So she. She got it back. But a 16 year old kid and two 20 year old females.

[John Holmberg]

Your mom's pressing charges, right?

[Brady]

She hasn't decided.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady, come on. Jesus. She's done well, by Jesus. This is not. She doesn't need these last minute reprieves here.

[Brady]

But the kid said he had no idea. He didn't think the car was stolen because the ladies told him there. Will you drive us to these places?

[John Holmberg]

So the broads jack the car?

[Brady]

Is that what. That's what he's saying?

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

No, he's not saying he didn't know the car was jacked. He thought it was one of theirs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what then he's claiming that they stole it.

[Brady]

Yeah, maybe they don't know either.

[John Holmberg]

So they all got into a car that just happened to be running the car or what she did.

[Brady]

Oh, okay. Well.

[John Holmberg]

So all those kids were unaware of the fact that the car they were in didn't belong to any of them.

[Brady]

Yeah, they don't know anything.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. They just don't know. Well, tell your mom to press charges to the fullest. She said as she left my house, well, if you come out to Columbus. And I said, bunny, we both know that's never gonna happen. Now it might. I'll go out there and be the mouthpiece for her kindness. Because old people don't like pressing charges on young people because they think Jesus is like thinking they should forgive him because they're close. No, if you stole Jesus's whip, yes, dude would be all over your ass. You know why? Because he's judging.

[Brady]

Happy National Law Enforcement Day.

[John Holmberg]

If you're captured, boys and girls in blue.

[Brady]

Couple of baseless fun facts. Once a giant clam settles into a place and begins to grow.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, we're not talking about your mom anymore. Stop. That conversation is over.

[Brady]

Tap it off. It settles into a place and it stays there for life. Which can be 100 years or more.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Why? Okay. Hey, baby, how you doing? It's RICO Blaze up in the house on National Law Enforcement Day. And I'm gonna enforce it right inside you whether you want it or not, baby. All right. How you celebrating today, Brady with you? Want a lick with you?

[Brady]

Wow, that's bold for you.

[John Holmberg]

It is bold for you, Brady, to assume that you would be in the same car as me on National Law Enforcement Day while I'm pulling up and arresting all that boon out there in the city today. All right. It's going to be a nice day. Yes. I'm going to say, oh, looks like you've been drinking blow and miss. I know there ain't nothing in my hands, girl, but I can tell if you're drunk or not just by that activity. All right? It's also a day of National Law Enforcement will recreate Ego Blaze has made it so if you under 170 pounds, you under arrest, baby. Cause I don't want to see that. I want ladies over 170 walking my streets. If you under 170, get to eatin, girl, it's time for a little corporal punishment, if you know what I'm talking about. Get a little RICO nightstick up in this thing. I want to hear you say it. Get your hands behind my back.

[Brady]

Mmm.

[John Holmberg]

I like when a woman says, I can't breathe, that means I'm doing it right. National Law Enforcement Day's important. Old Rico Blaze, you know how it is. I gotta arrest a couple perps, get my house and file some reports while I'm buried in that big white ass I picked up on the way over. Goddamn, check me out. What was my name online again? I forgot. It was ridiculous. Forgot it all the way around. You asking your Miranda rights? Last time I checked with that bitch, she was fine. Miranda's doing all rights. You have the right to remain silent, but I prefer if you don't. You have the right to an attorney to film the entire activity. Oh, yeah. I got myself my little chest camera on. That's right. We're gonna film this entire endeavor, baby. H. I'm gonna show up, another cop's gonna come, and another cop's gonna come. There'll be cops coming all day long if you call us today. By the way, I don't know how.

[Brady]

You forgot your online Persona.

[John Holmberg]

King Nut A lot. That's right. King Nut A Lot. I forgot about that. Well, it's been a minute. I was banned for a little while, but. That's right. King Nut A Lot. Oh, looks Like I'm getting a call on my radio plays. We got us a live 69 in progress. I'm on my way. God damn. Also, evidently, I'm a Dolphins fan, and we in the playoffs. I just saw a picture myself. I can't do this character while Toledo pulls up my actual sex videos. That's screwing things up right now, cuz. Looking at King Nut a lot actually in action and doing the voice. I can do play by playing my own work if you'd like. Let me get my beanie on. I like to wear a beanie. I like to look like a big rubber, but I don't wear them. I'm gonna give you the bumps, baby. Cause nothing stops me. You got hemorrhoids. That's all right. That's just like going through a car wash every national law enforcement day. This is Brett's fault. Ow. You ain't posted in a few months. Yeah. God.

[Brady]

There's a brand called Sevy that has a new oven that is fast. That is as fast as a microwave. They claim it doesn't give chicken and other meat that rubbery texture like a microwave. And you can also bake it in under a minute. You can bake a cake in under four minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

Sounds like nuclear or something.

[John Holmberg]

What the. I don't know if I'm. I'm not interested in that until they. I want to see a year or two of that in action before I see all the tumors popping up on folks.

[Brady]

Two brothers from Switzerland came up with a new cat door called Flappy. And that prevents what?

[John Holmberg]

Where is Rico? Blaze talk earlier this morning. Are you kidding me? You talking about pussy? Flappy. Is it door for your kitty? Is it in the front or back of the house? I only prefer one. You don't like both.

[Brady]

You can put it anywhere you want.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like those two words together. Sorry, baby. It's a little flappy for my taste. Put a little syrup on it, though. And get flapjacks. Now we're talking.

[Brady]

So Flappy prevents cats from bringing dead mice inside.

[John Holmberg]

How?

[Brady]

It's outfitted with an AI that can detect a dead animal in your cat's mouth and it won't let them enter until they drop it.

[John Holmberg]

So it's just the cat turns into Wile E. Coyote and runs into a wall that looks like it's got a painted door on it.

[Brady]

Yep. Well. Or. Yeah. Or taps the paw to try to open the door. Yeah. But it'll.

[John Holmberg]

It ain't open.

[Brady]

It's not opening. Elk drops. That creature. I didn't know that was needed in.

[John Holmberg]

This world, but apparently, yeah, you cat's out there catching mice in the backyard and bringing them to you. Ugh. Doing his job. I know, but you got mice in the backyard. Make it an indoor Tom and Jerry. It's kind of Jerry. Although not anymore. Now it's just Tom. It's called Got him.

[Brady]

If your girlfriend or wife started growing out her sideburns this week, you know why January started in 2019.

[John Holmberg]

What if you're divorced? Sideburns.

[Brady]

Someone came up with it to encourage women to stop shaving, waxing, or plucking. No, for this month.

[John Holmberg]

Why? Why do you not want to let people groom yourself?

[Brady]

The official January Instagram account has over 40,000 followers.

[John Holmberg]

Not enough women with sideburns like General Burnside sideburns. What are we looking at?

[Brady]

Yeah, the Elvis.

[John Holmberg]

The ones that go all the way to the nose and then curl back? Yeah. Are we doing TCB sideburns? What kind of girl am I dating? I mean, Brett's Italian. You've never seen a woman with this much hair? Nope.

[Brady]

Your cheek looks like the hound dog.

[John Holmberg]

What is going on there with you and Wolf boy? It's January. My wife's not shaving. Why are you still there? Why are you dating teen Wolf Cordell? And Cordell? Did she see a full moon? Get her out of the house. I'm not shaving for the month of January. Then you're living alone for the month of January.

[Brady]

That'd be a good first date. Someone. Yes, I'm participating in January. Goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

Intolerable.

[Brady]

Pay for your coffee.

[John Holmberg]

Dirty hippie John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD college hoops are here.

[Brady]

And there's no better place to catch.

[John Holmberg]

The action than Hooters.

[Brady]

Fuel up with the baller bundle. 10 boneless wings, crispy fries, dressing, and a fountain drink starting at just 9.99.

[John Holmberg]

Want to level up your game day experience?

[Brady]

Swap the fountain drink for a Beat the Buzzer special featuring your choice of Beatbox or Buzz balls for a low price. This offer is for game days only, so grab your crew, enjoy the action, and feast on the flavors you love. Only at Hooters, the original wing joined since 1983. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air's blowing. Kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that?

[John Holmberg]

Larry, your car's AC system should be checked and serviced.

[Brady]

Plus Replacing the cabin air filter helps.

[John Holmberg]

The air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.

[Brady]

Is that a big deal to get done?

[John Holmberg]

Not at all. It takes about an hour and in.

[Brady]

Most cases we can do it while you wait. That's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say. We're amco.

[Brady]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's amco, Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more. Homeburg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

RIP two Fruit Stripe gum.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that.

[Brady]

I can't remember the last time I had any of that. It's a good run. 1969 to 2024.

[John Holmberg]

Seven seconds per stick. You get seven or. I remember this has no flavor. It's gone.

[Brady]

They said it runs around 55 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

If you're slow chewing it, you put seven good bites on that, you've got nothing left. But it was a good flavor. And the packs.

[Brady]

Yeah, out of the. Right, out of the punch.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was just. I could smell the gum more than chew it. Chewing it was pointless.

[Brady]

I didn't know. It came in five flavors.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow, green, pink, red, wet and wild.

[Brady]

Melon, cherry, lemon, orange, peach. There was also briefly a chocolate flavor back in the 70s.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that sounds terrible. That's right. That skin colored one was peach. I avoided that. Yeah. When you peeled it out because of the fruit strike gum, every different stick was a different flavor. So you'd pull the peach ones I always threw away. I didn't know they were peach. They just were the color of my skin.

[Brady]

And of course, the remaining stock is selling on ebay for crazy prices right now. I haven't checked it. The zebra mascot had a name. Never knew this either. Yipes. And the slogan was Yipes. Stripes.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, here's a rainbow.

[Brady]

It once was a clue on Jeopardy.

[John Holmberg]

A rainbow zebra. Like right. He had all the colors.

[Brady]

Yeah. 100 bucks for a 12 pack of.

[John Holmberg]

That gum right now. On ebay? That's dumb.

[Brady]

Take advantage while you can.

[John Holmberg]

Why? You don't need it. Don't spend a penny on.

[Brady]

No, no, no, no. The guy that's selling it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I guess. Oh, I see. I thought you meant buy it. That's a terrible advice. No, no stuff's gonna be worth exactly 10 cents. I was just gonna say.

[Brady]

Why are you going to Trajan?

[John Holmberg]

You can just go to Toledo for advice with this. Trajan. Trajan just closed their doors because Toledo's sound advice of go grab yourself a bunch of Fruit Stripe. That's called Easy street, my friend.

[Brady]

So far, 33% people in this survey said they've made a New year's resolution. About 16% say they plan to, but just haven't gotten around to it yet. How many have broken it already?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding. Day three. I don't make resolutions. I make proclamations.

[Brady]

I think they say it's like 70%. 20, 20 days into it, have already dropped. What's your proclamation?

[John Holmberg]

No more dealing with cheap people. You made that before. No, that's this year's proclamation. If you prove yourself to be cheap, I'm calling you out on it. And that's enough already. Like the thing yesterday with that guy. And what would Brady do? Dude, invite you to his son's game and then asks you to pay for the ticket afterwards?

[Brady]

No, I added another $5 for him for gas money.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not paying it. I'm just saying. No, no, that's not how the world works. Dude. I gave you a ticket. Exactly. You asked me to go. We were. We never once discussed this. This was an invitation.

[Brady]

I think you said it yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bargain. 245 to never hang out with that guy again, and you got a free son's game. And I'm not paying you. Now if we. Again, if we had an agreement early, hey, buy my ticket. I'll take it. Oh, yeah, that's great. But if you say, come with me to dinner and then ask me to pay for dinner, it's not happening. Inviters are the payers, unless previously discussed. That's how the world works.

[Brady]

Yeah, that should be your first subject.

[John Holmberg]

As the invitee, you offer to pay. If they say, sure, yeah, then you've made the offer, you pay. But if they expect it, no.

[Brady]

And you're buying drinks too.

[John Holmberg]

And you buy drinks as the invitee. You pick up the food and drinks for the fact that you got a free ticket. It's a simple process. I'm done with cheap people.

[Brady]

The SS Pacific sank on the B.C. coast in 1875. And no one has laid claim to any of the 4,000 ounces of gold but believed to be on board the ship that sunk.

[John Holmberg]

Is this the one that they're going after right now? That there's a. Yeah, that big one. A group that's going.

[Brady]

No, there's one that's even bigger. This one is a. A different ship because right now the estimated worth of the gold is about 11 million. And no one's claimed it because you. If anyone, that their relative was on it.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

They're entitled to some of the gold. No one's come forward on that. But the other side of it, if you had, you know, a relative that had not all of the ounces.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

A little bit maybe worth $10,000. You have to pay a fee to go get it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you have to pay for the. The upkeep.

[Brady]

You can't. You're not gonna be able to go down 1500ft.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it's always like that treasure hunting thing seems like a good idea, but you watch those shows about the guys that if you don't find, like 10 boats, you're not making anything because countries lay claim to stuff. Old relatives show up. It's. Yeah, it seems like a good idea to find a buried treasure, but if you find it on a beach that's already in a nation, it's not yours.

[Brady]

You don't tell anybody.

[John Holmberg]

No. You gotta fight for it. Yeah. You just shut up. If you find. That's Brett's greatest advice ever. If you find buried treasure, shut your mouth. Yeah. Why are you calling mouse shut? Like winning the lottery and nobody knows.

[Brady]

Just grab a buddy, get some help.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, dude, I found a buried treasure. You're going to keep your mouth shut. Here, I'll split it with you.

[Brady]

Those guys, those salvage companies are very competitive and also, oh, yeah, they're armed and dangerous.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They have to fight off. Once people know what you're up to, they start showing up like vultures. Everybody turns into Gollum with an Instagram. They're like, greedy, and then they want to brag about.

[Brady]

Was found by a US Salvage company called Rockfish, Inc. They've been searching for the wreck and its Golden Bounty since 2016 using sonar. Towed a camera sled down about 500 meters, and they found it. There were 200. It sank on November 4, 1875, carrying at least 275 souls. Only two survived. They're still around, but it had a. Had that.4,000 ounces in gold, according to the ship's log and a bunch of other stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody cares about the cattle. We're gonna unearth the cattle bones. Give me the gold. By the way, Gollum's Instagram first new band name of 2024. Kind of like that. Also came up with one right before the end when I saw a friend of mine sent me a picture of the. He's leaving the Safeway and at the thing. One of the tabloids headlines said, exhume Matthew Perry. I'm like, that is a great band name right there. Should have been in the 90s. We already want to dig up Matthew Perry. The star does. Why not so sure.

[Brady]

The annual consumer electronic show starts tomorrow in Las Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

It seems like that just happened.

[Brady]

I thought they stopped that.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady]

News story about the convention isn't. It isn't as big as it used to be.

[John Holmberg]

It's huge.

[Brady]

And the bathroom brand Kohler is pushing a new bidet that connects to Alexa or Google to offer voice activated butt washing. Alexa, once she's done washing your butt. Yep. Then you can also turn on the drying feature to dry it off.

[John Holmberg]

Instead of having to use buttons. We can now talk to the toilet.

[Brady]

Both features are offered on their Pure Wash E930 model which retails for the low price of $2,149.

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this.

[Brady]

The lid. Yeah. If you want the whole. The whole. It doesn't come.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's one of those.

[Brady]

Okay. Yeah. And. But I. What I've heard is it's on sale right now on the website. It has it for 1289. 1000.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brady]

1200 bucks from this. Checking out the website shopping. Look at you.

[John Holmberg]

We will be.

[Brady]

Toilet option is 11 grand and worth it.

[John Holmberg]

We will be off paper in 10 years and it's going to be a fight.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But my way will win out. And all you naysayers with dirty scrub butts will be beholden to me for fighting this good fight for a long time. Anybody argues with me that you're supposed to wash with soap and water after a poop. I know what your underwear looks like. Period. Clean your ass with water. And those bidets are amazing. The good ones. Oh. And then they dry it. And then you can run a little water over a paper, over the edge, just like you do when you towel off after a shower. Toilet paper doesn't get done. One wipe doesn't get it done.

[Brady]

So you're saying we'll become blotters.

[John Holmberg]

Right? You just kind of wipe well and then they dry it. But trust me, I've been talking about this for how long? South park just did an episode on it last year about big toilet paper. Big paper. And how we're the only, like, major place. The west is the only place that still uses toilet paper to smear feces all over our bodies instead of wash.

[Brady]

Another guy says, hey, San Simeon toilet paper gone. What are you thinking? Whatever, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Gone. You're wasting your time. Okay, turd butt. Keep smearing it all over you. Every time you argue with me, I know exactly what's going on.

[Brady]

Just watch that Charmin commercial where they're wiping the arm. The dry arms.

[John Holmberg]

Turd butts. Yeah. Like I've Always said, if I got. If I threw feces at you, would you just go get you.

[Brady]

Than it says about me.

[John Holmberg]

Dry paper and wipe it off and go. That's good bidets. Like clean your ass and paper will be. We'll use a lot less of it. If the big paper people, they're pushing the agenda.

[Brady]

Stephen Nerden, 38 years old. He was arrested for domestic violence or domestic battery. Say in parentheses. Dating violence. He was with his date and around 1:20am There's a confrontation after they had sex because she said. She described him as limp dick.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

And he attacked her with a dildo. I'll show you.

[John Holmberg]

Then he. Then she was right.

[Brady]

She was right.

[John Holmberg]

He couldn't use his own.

[Brady]

She said, you know, followed up, like you should use a EDP pill or.

[John Holmberg]

Next time during sex or after afterwards. Wow. What a immediate review.

[Brady]

Made fun of his kind of. Yeah. Made fun of his performance, like right after. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want.

[Brady]

And there's some drinking involved, so he has to wear a bracelet that monitors his alcohol.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. So he doesn't beat someone for three weeks. Yeah, evidently, that's not so bad. He does look a little.

[Brady]

He is coming off of. He's got to be very careful because he has a previous record. He just spent some time sitting a couple years.

[John Holmberg]

He's dildo abused before he did.

[Brady]

I think it was raw burglary.

[John Holmberg]

And he's a cop, wasn't he?

[Brady]

No, no, he wasn't a cop. Didn't that say ex cop, ex con?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, ex cop. Okay. I thought it was a headline line. Let me put it down. So he's. Yeah, but you don't do that, especially if you like. Yeah, you just don't do that to a fella. If a woman would have every right to smack you around if you're like, all right, Arby's. What? That thing is disgusting. Rather have sex with a Big Montana than look at that again. Why did you. What are you doing? You should have every right to bonk in the head with her sex toy after that. Keep it moving, Arby. Keep it moving. Arby's. You have the meats. Now take them and get out of my house. I shot my horsey sauce. Now take it somewhere else.

[Brady]

Now, why are you doing this?

[John Holmberg]

Because I'm reviewing our sex immediately afterwards, and it wasn't good. And I blame you. And that meat foundation thing you got there. Carl budding out the door. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Hi, I'm Diane Fisher from Fisher Tools. From our humble beginnings in 1964 at the Phoenix park and swap to our 4 acre campus located just south of Tempe Marketplace off the 202. Emmett Clintock Fisher Tools has been building the valley for over 60 years. Come check us out and browse our huge selection of tools and anything you need to do the job right. We carry Milwaukee, DeWalt, Makita, Proto and so much more. We're also [e-mail] KUPD listeners will receive 10% off their order when you mention this Fisher Tools if we don't have it, we can't sell it.