BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - WEDNESDAY - March 12, 2025 - PART ONE - Emailer Has A Similar Situation To Bennett - March 2024

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: BEST OF HMS PODCASTS - WEDNESDAY - March 12, 2025 - PART ONE

Hosted by: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Release Date: March 12, 2025
Platform: 98 KUPD (97.9 FM, 98KUPD app, www.98kupd.com)
Air Time: Weekdays 5:30 AM - 10:00 AM

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Introduction

In this special "Best Of" episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness (HMS Podcast), hosted by John Holmberg and featuring Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, listeners are treated to a deep dive into one of the most unsettling listener-submitted stories. The episode, titled "Emailer Has A Similar Situation To Bennett," explores the darker side of human relationships and the often misguided adages people cling to in times of crisis.

Listener Story: A Tale of Incest and Betrayal

The episode centers around an email received from a listener named Aaron, who shares a harrowing account of familial betrayal and sexual misconduct. The story mirrors a previous letter from a listener named Bennett, prompting the hosts to dissect and discuss the disturbing parallels.

Aaron's Story Highlights:

• Initial Setup: Aaron, at age 22, marries an 18-year-old woman who was a stripper and becomes pregnant.

• Parental Influence: His religious father insists they marry to "make it right by our Lord," despite the relationship's questionable foundations.

• Betrayal: After losing the baby, Aaron's wife turns to his father for support, leading to a twisted mentoring relationship where the father manipulates her faith to facilitate a sexual relationship with Aaron.

• Emotional Turmoil: Aaron spends three years unaware of the affair, metaphorically "scooping out my dad's Little Debbies," a phrase he uses to describe his complicity and heartbreak.

Notable Quote:

Aaron [03:33]: "...all I was doing was scooping up my dad's Little Debbies on the reg."

Discussion: "Everything Happens for a Reason"

The hosts engage in a passionate debate over the validity and impact of the commonly used motivational phrase, "everything happens for a reason."

John Holmberg's Perspective: Holmberg strongly criticizes the phrase, arguing that it trivializes genuine suffering and trauma. He underscores that not all events have a positive outcome and that such sayings can dismiss the real pain individuals endure.

Notable Quotes:

Holmberg [04:25]: "Not everything always works out. Not everything at all works out."

Holmberg [07:04]: "Everything happens for a reason is like, that doesn't mean anything. That doesn't mean a thing."

Aaron's Counterpoint: Aaron suggests that believing "everything happens for a reason" provides solace and a sense of purpose, even if the reasoning isn't immediately apparent.

Notable Quote:

Aaron [08:14]: "If that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here. Or, you know, how do you know what happens all the time?"

Hosts' Consensus: While Aaron sees potential comfort in the phrase, Holmberg and Brady challenge its applicability, especially in cases of severe trauma and unethical behavior, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and addressing pain rather than dismissing it with platitudes.

Legislation Spotlight: Tennessee's Proposed Ban on First Cousin Marriages

Transitioning from personal trauma to societal issues, the hosts discuss recent legislative moves in Tennessee aimed at banning first cousin marriages.

Key Points:

• Proposed Legislation: Lawmakers in Tennessee have proposed a bill to prohibit first cousin marriages, reflecting ongoing debates about familial relationships and societal norms.

• Immediate Effect: If passed, the ban would take effect immediately, creating urgency and controversy among residents.

• Public Reaction: The hosts humorously speculate on the bizarre timing and implications of such a law, highlighting the often arbitrary nature of legislative changes.

Notable Quotes:

Holmberg [16:54]: "If you're gonna hit your cousin, you got to do it in the next 24 hours before this bill passes."

Brady [16:35]: "We're gonna eliminate the term grandfathered as well."

Critical Analysis of Motivational Phrases

Returning to the theme of motivational sayings, the hosts dissect popular phrases, questioning their real-world applicability and the potential harm they can cause.

Examples Discussed:

• "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."

  • Critique: Holmberg points out that this saying overlooks the lasting trauma and physical injuries that can result from life’s challenges, using examples like paralysis from accidents.

• "Poverty sucks."

  • Aaron's Endorsement: While dismissing other phrases, Aaron supports "poverty sucks" for its blunt honesty, contrasting it with more clichéd motivational sayings.

Notable Quotes:

Holmberg [14:43]: "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I've met dudes who have to breathe into tubes and push their wheelchair around with their mouths. They're not stronger than they used to be."

Aaron [18:15]: "Poverty sucks. I've never disagreed, though, with the one the poverty sucks."

Conclusion: The Complexity of Human Experience

In wrapping up the episode, the hosts reflect on the complexity of human emotions and the inadequacy of simplistic sayings to address deep-seated issues. They emphasize the importance of genuine understanding and support for those going through traumatic experiences, rather than offering blanket phrases that may inadvertently minimize their suffering.

Final Thoughts: Holmberg advocates for moving beyond clichéd motivational sayings to foster meaningful conversations and support systems for individuals facing familial and personal crises.

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Key Takeaways:

• Listener Impact: Aaron's story highlights the profound impact of familial betrayal and the limitations of conventional motivational advice in addressing such trauma.

• Critical Thinking: The hosts encourage listeners to critically evaluate popular sayings and consider their appropriateness in various contexts.

• Legislative Awareness: Awareness of proposed laws, such as Tennessee's ban on first cousin marriages, underscores the podcast's commitment to discussing significant societal issues.

• Emotional Honesty: Emphasizing the need for honest acknowledgment of pain and suffering, the episode advocates for deeper emotional support mechanisms.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Aaron [03:33]: "...all I was doing was scooping up my dad's Little Debbies on the reg."

• Holmberg [04:25]: "Not everything always works out. Not everything at all works out."

• Aaron [08:14]: "If that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here. Or, you know, how do you know what happens all the time?"

• Holmberg [16:54]: "If you're gonna hit your cousin, you got to do it in the next 24 hours before this bill passes."

• Holmberg [14:43]: "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I've met dudes who have to breathe into tubes and push their wheelchair around with their mouths. They're not stronger than they used to be."

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Final Note: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delves into profound and unsettling human experiences, urging listeners to seek deeper understanding and compassionate responses to complex personal and societal issues.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

To you're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns online at MMP guns.com Arizona's largest gun store.

[Frank Caliento]

You're listening to the best of Holmberg's morning sickness and this is Frank Caliento. And you'd think I'd be doing a better voice for this promo at the moment. Or is it technically a rejoin?

[Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Frank Caliento]

I'm not in the radio business. But what I am going to be doing is a little Donald Trump. It's good, but not as good as the Best of Bloomberg's Morning Sickness, which we're getting back to right now. That's the weave and we just wove back.

[Holmberg]

So we had the letter from Bennett yesterday and I don't know why this happens, but we get letters from people and then it usually sparks a couple more. I got another one this morning.

[Brady]

We never heard back from Bennett though.

[Holmberg]

No, I'm not. I checked for Bennett's emails.

[Aaron]

Then that means all morning.

[Holmberg]

That's what I did on that means.

[Aaron]

We satisfy this request.

[Holmberg]

He asked us to make fun of it and shine a light on his nightmarish situation. If you weren't with us yesterday. Bennett fell in love with his son's the girlfriend who was living at the house with Bennett and the son broke up with her and moved out. The girl stayed. She was pregnant, had the baby, had his granddaughter. He fell in love, assumed that he fell in love by banging away. It wasn't one of those 1940s situations where he was going to wait till they were married and then he came home over the weekend and saw that she was in bed with his son again and it broke his heart. He wanted to be the father to his granddaughter and he was gonna marry that sweet angel. Incest trailer park nonsense. Well, I got this email this morning after Bennett's story. It says, hey Holmberg, since we're sharing. My dad and I are Eskimo brothers, too. I married a girl when I was 22. She was 18. She danced for money. We got married because she got pregnant. Brady's right. Some families use religion as a fix all, despite the fact that everything leading up to that marriage was pretty much against every religious tenet. Knocking up a stripper. You know, he's right. Anyway, he says my religious dad said we had to make it right by our Lord. So we ended up getting married. I got a job as a wrench at a car dealership. She lost the baby, which in hindsight was a good thing because after she lost the child, she turned to my dad and showed how crazy she was. She needed the book and him for guidance. And of course, while he guided her to Jesus, he also guided her to the bedroom. They got closer and closer, and evidently God started to tell them they should start having sex while I was at work regularly. So they did that a lot. They sat me down on my birthday in 2006, I was 25, and told me they need to be together. Three years of boning my wife and all I was doing was scooping out my dad's Little Debbies. Oh.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[Holmberg]

Email of the year. Yes.

[Aaron]

Oh, frame that oatmeal cream pie.

[Holmberg]

Scooping out Dad's Little Debbie. Not a good band name, but a great album name anyway. And actually it says, that's right. Three years of boning my wife and all I was doing was scooping up my dad's Little Debbies on the reg. It says so. It says so. Bennett and his son isn't alone is what he said. Poor English. Just start getting back into that trailer. As for me, I'm now a responsible man in my 40s. Two kids, a wife that isn't a stripper. My dad and my ex stripp. They live in Oregon. They have two kids as well. And we don't talk. Life will get you, man. Happy to make your show better, Aaron.

[Brady]

Positive outcome you got. Still with the. The young broad.

[Holmberg]

It worked out. That gives Bennett hope.

[Aaron]

One thing I'll always tell you, no matter what you're in, what situation, it'll always work out.

[Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Aaron]

Might not like how you like it, though.

[Holmberg]

Tell that to OJ's wife.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[Aaron]

It's like in golf, John. No matter where you head at your.

[Brady]

Ball, he tried to tell to Ron.

[Holmberg]

Gold, your ball's gonna land somewhere. And it might be the basement at the JonBenet Ramsey's house. Not everything works out.

[Aaron]

Hello, Jay. It worked out pretty good for O.J.

[Holmberg]

That. For O.J. good Lord, man.

[Aaron]

That's what I thought you said.

[Holmberg]

Oh, for his wife. Oh, not everything. That's the worst advice I think I've ever heard in my life. Don't worry about it, kid. Everything works out. Another thing people say all the time, things happen for a reason. Yeah. One reason was a knife could go all the way through somebody else's head. Not everything's good. Not everything works out. That's the first thing you should teach your kids. Not everything works out. You might open the door one night and see an NFL hall of Famer chopping up a waiter and you're next. That ain't working out for anybody. Maybe it worked out for O.J. if you want to call that working out. The last 30 years of your life. Not everything always works. In this particular case, you leave the good and bad.

[Aaron]

It could work out bad.

[Holmberg]

What you're saying is ignore the bad and things will seem like they've all worked out. And if someone cuts your head off, what do you care?

[Aaron]

You're not going to feel it.

[Holmberg]

You are going to feel it for a minute.

[Unknown]

Briefly. Briefly.

[Holmberg]

Man, those rose colored glasses, they are magnificent. What a beast. Yeah, that's bad advice. Don't listen to Brady. Not everything always works out. Not everything at all works out. Now, later you can say, well made them. You make the most out of things that went south. That doesn't mean it worked out. It just means that you pivoted in line. The ability to adjust.

[Aaron]

But I look at all seriousness, I say it. You can, you can get through this no matter what.

[Holmberg]

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, O.J. got through it, but his wife didn't. He got through it. All the way through it.

[Aaron]

More than one.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, he got through it and then went back and got through the rest of it and then tried to get through the spine, but it didn't work.

[Brady]

Deb Ginsu knife.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And Brady says that. And sometimes you can't get through it. It's just gonna live with you forever. It's gonna be a big burden for rest of your life. Yeah. Are you still alive?

[Aaron]

You can carry it.

[Holmberg]

Sure. But you know what? This one dude who just emailed us, this Aaron guy is never going to get through. Cuz this happened in 2006. When he got sat down, he emailed the show. What is that, 18 years later. And said, all I was doing was scooping out dad's Little Debbies. You think he's gotten through that or just it's just part of his past I don't think he got through it.

[Aaron]

Put that in a little compartment that'll always be there.

[Holmberg]

Yep. And smash it down and never deal with it again. Yeah, you can. You can live. It's not going to kill you is what you're saying. And that's also a phrase.

[Aaron]

You can't dwell on the past in order to get over it.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, you can also ignore it, and it'll come up and get you later. This dude's Bennett's story yesterday triggered Aaron's story today of looking down at his junk going, wow, that's a lot of stuff. It turns out that's Dad's Little Debbie's. What a phrase. Dad's Little Debbies is a good band. Dad's Little Debbies. Yeah. I don't like that advice. I don't like that things happen for a reason. That all falls into the category he died doing what he loved and things happen for a reason.

[Aaron]

Well, yeah. You're just looking for the answers. I mean, you know.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, you're trying to make it right. You're trying to get through it. Things happen for a reason is like, that doesn't mean anything. That doesn't mean a thing.

[Aaron]

No, but things that, like, wow, if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be here.

[Holmberg]

Right.

[Aaron]

Or, you know, how do you know what happens all the time?

[Holmberg]

If it did happen, you still might be here, but because it happened is the only thing you know. So you're here because this is just cause and effect. Sure. If it didn't happen, there might be.

[Aaron]

That slide could have gone another direction.

[Holmberg]

And then ended up right here.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

You just have a different memory. And one of the memories you'd like to get rid of. Dad's Little Debbie gooping. The word goop was involved. Yeesh. This says everything does happen for a reason. And sometimes that reason is you're stupid and you make bad decisions. That's exactly right. The reasons are created by you.

[Unknown]

Everything happens for a reason.

[Holmberg]

Ah, gross.

[Unknown]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Holmberg]

Tell that to the dude who's in a wheelchair. Because it didn't kill him. But he's not stronger. He ain't walking. That neuralink guy, that Elon Musk, is around, he was walking around just fine. Didn't kill him, made him stronger. My asset made him stronger.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Holmberg]

They'Ve weakened him up pretty good. Now, mentally, he's got to adjust and adapt, but he's playing chess with a neural link now, and that's a massive Accomplishment. I bet you he could lift a chess piece before have to do things differently. I learned that from a guy in a wheelchair. Everything happens for a reason. He's like that. Nothing made my life better since I've been in this thing. I just have to. Now I just have to live like this. You have to tell yourself that if you die doing what you love, that to me is the worst thing that can happen to you. Because if I'm out there doing whatever I love, having the time of my life, I drop dead. I tell you right there. If you ask my ghost, what would you have rather had happened? Rather kept doing what I love. That dying part kind of ruined what I love. I like driving a car. That doesn't mean I want to get mangled up in a 1010 car accident. He used to love driving. Yeah, but remember that semi rolled over and that's not driving anymore. This guy says, think about this, John. The dad and the girlfriend were going out for three years while he was at work before they finally sat him down. Over those three years, he admits that he was scooping, as he put it. Now at some point, he's also got an overlap to him heading down south on that lady. And earlier dad did the same thing while he was turning wrenches. So he's also enjoyed dad's Little Debbie too. Oh, God, Nicholas, come on.

[Aaron]

Everything happens for a reason.

[Holmberg]

Oh, that. No, that is not how. You can't handle everything like that. Yeah, well, I was. My wife was cheating on me with my dad and I went down on her and the next thing you know, I had a snowball sandwich and. Well, everything happens for Lord has a plan for me. Since they're religious, that's what he would say. The Lord had a plan for you to scoop out my little Debbie? Yuck. I don't think that's part of God's plan.

[Aaron]

He works in mysterious ways.

[Holmberg]

That's too mysterious. That's prankster. That's Jesus and God laugh. Hey, part of this dude's plan is to scoop out some of his dad's Little Debbies. We'll see how he adjusts to that. The Lord works in mysterious ways. I could have done without that one prank you pulled on me there. You know, what do you gotta disagree.

[Aaron]

With on the Little Debbie plan? I. I don't.

[Holmberg]

There's certain parts of your plan seemed like you were having a laugh. On my experience, I think you went rogue on that. When I went down and that girl was a back to front wiper, was that part of your plan? Too. Oh, you shouldn't have gone down on her. You're not married. Ah, you son of a. You got me on a technicality. But my dad, who loves you, shouldn't have been doing that with my wife. And there I was, chowing down on Little Debbie's. Daddy's Little Debbie's.

[Brady]

I think I could get sick this morning.

[Holmberg]

This early. Could you? What would you do? Like, how many people? How you find out? 3. You have been with Mathias. You married for a year, maybe less.

[Brady]

Yeah, we've been together five years.

[Holmberg]

Five years. And then Kurt and her sit you down, you're unaware, plop you down and say, hey, gotta let you know, Lord needs us to be together. We've been. We've been together for a while.

[Brady]

They're dead to me.

[Holmberg]

Dead to you or literally.

[Brady]

Oh, I played the fifth on that one. But I'm just gonna say Brett would.

[Aaron]

Stay with the deal. I think he.

[Holmberg]

He'd kill everybody in the house.

[Brady]

I never said that. Yeah, you would be right.

[Holmberg]

I'd help you.

[Brady]

All I'm saying, call me.

[Holmberg]

Hey. Turns out Matthiah and Kurt been going at it, and I've been scooping out Little Debbie's for the last couple years. I need to get rid of my dad with me. I'm like, I'm there if Megan and the old man plopped down three years into the relationship and said, your wife's a brick house, son. And I've been banging away on that for the last 36 months, like a short car loan. But anyway, we're gonna be together now. You've been doing this for what? And I've been scooping out Little Debbies. Yeah. Daddy's Little Debbies. Oh, for Christ's sake. You're all gonna die today. I would go to jail for that. That's a jail in the fence. I don't think I. And I don't think a jury would convict you, like, in a hard way. Like, that's those crimes of passion where juries are like, wow, he didn't do much wrong there. It might have been a little bit of an overreaction, but I can understand hacking somebody up that Daddy's Little Debbies is enough. But he doesn't talk to his dad. But thanks for sharing, Aaron. And now your two kids and your wife know that story.

[Brady]

Hopefully he upgraded.

[Holmberg]

Well, clearly, a woman not having sex with his dad, that's an upgrade right away. It's a pretty low bar.

[Aaron]

That's one of those qualifying questions when he's dating.

[Holmberg]

Well, are you gonna have sex with my. Have you ever had sex with your boyfriend's dad? How about that though? Like when she's like, I'm gonna meet your family. Oh, you're never gonna meet my dad ever. Why? Well, a. We don't talk. And here's why. Good lord, does she want to get mixed up in that family?

[Brady]

You know, I wonder, you know, watching these pornhub videos and stuff where these stories, some of them gotta be true. Yeah, because I'm sure, just like this.

[Holmberg]

They might not be porns, they might be documentaries, acts might not be. This is footage. You're so much bigger than your dad. Yeah, I always thought that was like a joke line. Maybe that's a common thing.

[Aaron]

It came from something that was real at one time.

[Holmberg]

So did your dad. And that's where the Little Debbies come. Yeah, I'm with you, John. Part of God's plan. And they're in a better place now. Two of the worst phrases in the world. I agree with that. Did Brady just say that? Scooping out your dad's Little Debbies is a situation that just works out. Never. You're never the same Pop Pop your rose colored glasses.

[Aaron]

Exactly what I meant.

[Holmberg]

Well, you can't even apply. Everything is happens for a reason or it'll all work out. Although in this case, it worked out. At least for dad and your ex stripper wife. You are strapped. And that's why I don't like that. It's like everybody said. Well, they were meant to be. They're together now. What about the dude you burdened with this trauma like his father couldn't even. He has no father. And he's Toledo now. At least Toledo's dad wouldn't do this to him. And Toledo, well, he might. He just. Nobody would. They'd never sit down and talk about it after. It's horrifying. Anyway, talk to your dad today and make sure. I'm pretty sure. My dad wouldn't tell me. He'd die with that secret. That's the last thing too, in those deathbed confessions. You don't want your dad. You don't want Kurt telling you. Remember your wife Tracy? Like, yeah, I was having sex with her the whole time. And then he dies. Like, ah, deathbed confession. I didn't need to know that. You die with that old man. I scooped out Little Debbie.

[Aaron]

All this talk has made Tennessee finally put its foot down. Lawmakers proposed legislation to ban first cousin marriages in Tennessee.

[Holmberg]

In 2024, they finally decided. Enough of that.

[Aaron]

Let's cap this again. It's not been passed?

[Holmberg]

No, they're debating it. And again, in my perfect world, I don't think the human brain needs that law, but evidently we do.

[Aaron]

And if it passes, it would take effect immediately.

[Holmberg]

Right? Right. Like. Like today. Like, it's immediate. And so if you're gonna. And that's the scary part. If you're gonna hit your cousin, you got to do it in the next 24 hours before this bill passes. Because the second pen hits paper on that.

[Brady]

Come on, baby. You know you've been looking at me like that.

[Holmberg]

You and your last chance. You and your aunt and uncle's kid can't get married. Get yourself a Bronco out of that.

[Aaron]

We're gonna eliminate the term grandfathered as well.

[Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Is every. That's a good point. Brian says if everything happened for a reason, there would be no such thing as a prank, because they'd always end with the person just accepting that it happened, and it's just that you wouldn't be bothered by it. Everything happens for a reason. I hate that phrase.

[Unknown]

Everything happens for a reason.

[Holmberg]

Not really. Could have been avoided. But now I got to deal with this.

[Unknown]

I didn't kill you, so you're gonna get stronger.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't walk. My spine got separated.

[Unknown]

I'm gonna walk over here now. Cause I don't know what else to tell you. I'm trying to stump her.

[Holmberg]

Those are those things that we laugh at with live laugh, love, and dance like no one's watching. You know, everything happens for a reason. If it didn't kill you, it makes you stronger. Those are the exact same things they sell on those plaques for lonely women, single women in their 50s in a house that have motivational speaking. They hang in their babies. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. I've met dudes who have to breathe into tubes and push their wheelchair around with their mouths. They're not stronger than they used to be.

[Aaron]

I've never disagreed, though, with the one the poverty sucks.

[Holmberg]

Poverty sucks. Yeah. That's gonna look. And nobody hangs that in their house, right? Nobody ever hangs the poverty sucks up.

[Aaron]

On the bumper of The Rolls Royce.

[Holmberg]

100%. That should be in everyone's house, like, R.E.M. real quick. If you're gonna put up motivational sayings like dance like. No one's watching. Stupid. Poverty sucks as the one that needs to be everywhere because that's one thing nobody strives for. It's out of control now.